Episode 12 DNN: Definitely Not Newsround


Episode 12

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Transcript


LineFromTo

Nellie, I'm late for a meeting. Pass a message on to Bob.

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Tell him not to look so flustered and out of place.

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-Actually, Henry, I need to...

-Just get it done, please.

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Davina, message for Bob from Henry.

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"Tell him not to look so flustered and out of place."

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Really? Yeah, reet, OK.

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-Ah! Gary!

-All reet?

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Me and Map have got a record to train for,

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so can you tell Bob Henry said...

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"Don't look at mustard..."

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Aye. "..in outer space." Yeah.

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I definitely understood every word of that, Davina. No problem.

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Ah, Bob! Message from Henry...

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He wants you - for some reason - to chuck a custard pie in my face.

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-HE CHUCKLES

-Well, he is the boss.

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You know, I think Henry's getting the hang of this show.

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Hello, and welcome to DNN.

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I'm the unparalleled Felicity Bond.

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I'm Bob Roberts. This is my nan Robeta...

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Oh, is this where you work, duck egg?

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..and these are today's headlines.

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Louis Walsh signs up the world's first jazz baby.

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BABBLES MELODICALLY

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-LAUGHING

-Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

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Scientists discover that lizards are naturals at Pat-a-cake.

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And it's "Share A Lift To Work Day" at Bristol Zoo.

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Beautifully done, darling.

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-Ah, thanks, Nan. Moving on now...

-Bob!

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What's going on?

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Yes, Bob, we're in the middle of doing the show.

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Oh, don't you mind me, deary, just carry on.

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And you can call me Robeta,

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or even Nan.

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But what are you doing here?

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She's been banned from the bingo for doing the cancan

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whenever they called "legs 11."

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What a lovely image.

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Ooh, you're right duck egg,

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she does have amazing teeth. Are they real?

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Would you like to try mine?

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ROBETA HUMS No, I'm fine thank you.

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Bob, get your nan out of the studio.

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Oh, come off it, Henry. What harm could she possibly do?

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You know, you two would make a lovely couple.

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Uh...Steve,

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-get her out of here! Sharpish!

-Ooh, I love the name Steve.

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My first husband was called Steve as well, you know.

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You look a bit like him, except, well, he was a man.

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Time now to go over to our un-caped crusader Phil Tyme.

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What are you up to today, Phil?

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Hello, Felicity.

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Now, the cinema!

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Home to the greatest stars, Brad Pitt, Hilary Duff's sister,

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that lizard that made New York look proper manky...

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Ah, Terry, all right.

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What's wrong with Terry?

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Oh, he's just upset cos I'm making him work

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a bit close to his wedding.

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Oh! When's his wedding?

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Today!

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Phil, how could you?!

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Aw, Felicity, as I've always said,

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crime waits for no man, not even Terry.

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So, as ever, we are LIVE.

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And I'm ready to be the people's champion for Marilyn here.

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-Say hello, Marilyn.

-Hello.

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Now, Marilyn has written to me about something fishy in her local cinema.

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Pirates! Arr!

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Now, she's had a word with the staff

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but they've done nothing to help.

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Now, is that because the staff

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are a bit scared of wooden legs and eye patches?

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No, Phil, it's not that sort of a pirate.

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I mean I've seen someone making illegal copies of the films.

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What, so they're not real pirates? No scary swords like?

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-No.

-Well, why didn't you say?

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I've been hiding from them behind that counter for over an hour.

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What a waste of Terry's time.

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Whoa! Careful with that boom mic, Tessa.

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And you look lovely, by the way.

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Hey, Terry, stay on me, fella.

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Remember, it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding day.

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It's a good job I'm here.

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So, join us later when I will be collaring whoever it is

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that's illegally copying films - here LIVE.

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Oh, we'll be 20 minutes top, Terry.

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We'll see you in a bit.

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Time to go to the man who meets

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more members of the public than a pavement.

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It's Jahmene Mann.

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Give me an "M".

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-BOTH:

-M!

-Give me an "S".

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-BOTH:

-S!

-What do you get?

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MMMS.

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Let's "meet" the "street".

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Oh! "Beat" the "street", yeah. Wahey!

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America, home of Felicity Bond,

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the Empire State Building, aerosol cheese.

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Urgh, actually, that's a bit weird.

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And today, I'm hunting down a true American icon.

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That's right, I'm looking for Britain's best cheerleaders.

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Can I find them?

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You can "baton" it!

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-Give us a "D".

-ALL:

-D!

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-Give us an "N".

-ALL:

-N!

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-Give us an "N".

-ALL:

-N!

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What do you get?

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-ALL:

-D...NN! Yeah!

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-D!

-N!

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N!

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Five, six, seven, eight...

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-ALL:

-Goooo team.

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Well, three cheers for Britain.

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You lot are clearly potty for your pom-poms.

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But if there's one thing that I've learnt today,

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it's that sometimes cheerleading spells trouble.

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-Give me a "C".

-C!

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-Give me an "H".

-H!

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-Give me an "A".

-A!

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-Give me an "S".

-S!

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-Give me an "E".

-E!

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-Give me a "D".

-D!

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-And what do you geeet?

-I get chased!

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-Exactly. Oh, no, no, no.

-Yes.

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-Come here.

-Man down.

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Man D-O-W-N!

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Time for the latest hot showbiz goss now with...

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Wahey, what on earth is going on there?

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-Kelly here is teaching me some dance moves.

-Yep.

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Hi, Bobster. Nan's a natural.

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Yeah, well, she might be a natural, Kelly

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but her hip joints are finest NHS titanium.

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You're going to overheat, Nan!

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It's going to be the pilates class inferno all over again. Come on.

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Anyway, Kelly, this week's showbiz headlines?

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You got it, Flickster.

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On Holby City, a man needs to get his disco dance looked at.

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Nonsense, mate.

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On Young Dracula, Erin decides it's time to switch to E-books.

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SHE GASPS

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And in a game of charades in EastEnders, Ian get's Godzilla.

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Grit your teeth. Grr. Turn purple when I'm angry.

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But the incredolino news this week, guys,

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is that I scored an interview with the one and only Channing Tatum!

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-Wow! Seriously?

-Chinny who now?

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You know? From GI Joe, White House Down,

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Step Up, Step Up 2. Not Step Up 3.

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Ooh, now, Channing Tatum's not a proper name, is it, dear?

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It's like the surname's come first.

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It should be Tatum Channing, if anything,

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and even that's a bit rum.

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-But...

-All these Channings and Taylors and Tylers

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and what have you, in my day it was good old-fashioned first names

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-and then surnames...

-Oh, my wow.

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-Are you sure you're not MY nan?

-Oh, no, there's two of them.

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You're like totally like my spiritual nan.

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Oh, my Spirinan. New word!

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Oh, actually, I went to see one them spiritualists the other week...

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-Nan...

-and she said to me I had a message...

-Nana!

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-..from the other side...

-Nana!

-I thought she meant my friend Jean.

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-Nana!

-At the theatre we couldn't get seats together,

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-so she was over there...

-OK then!

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I'm sorry Kelly, but thanks to Bob's nan, there's no time for your VT.

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Oh, no probs, Flickster, this is totes more interesting.

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Bob's nan, you are like my Zen Jedi kung fu master

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-of totally not stopping talking,

-After you.

-No, after you.

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-No, after you.

-After you!

-After you.

-No, after you.

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-After you.

-No, after you.

-After you!

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I think she stole your Nana.

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No problem, Flicky. I always carry a spare.

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Don't fret about Kelly's interview, because I've lined up

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another DNN super exclusivo that will blow your mind.

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Something tells me I'm about to be disappointed.

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-HE CHUCKLES

-Oh, really?

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Well, how does this grab you, Felicity?

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A real-life time traveller.

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Bob, there is no way in the world you've got a real life...

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Please welcome to DNN, it's Dr Steven Whom.

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Thank you, Bob. Lovely to meet you, Felicity...

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Hi, Gary.

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Now, Dr Whom, tell me

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how long it took you to build this magnificent time machine.

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-Uh, well, Bob, I've been working on it since I was a small child.

-Oh!

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It just feels like yesterday.

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-BOB LAUGHS

-Yeah, very good.

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Yesterday...time travel. It's a time travelling joke, Felicity.

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Bob. It is just Gary in a stupid beard!

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Felicity, please, show some respect for our guest.

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OK, so, theoretically, could you go back in time to see the first goal

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ever scored by Wayne Rooney?

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Ah, yes, that's my close personal...

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-Ay! Close personal wish, I'm sure, Doctor.

-Yes, yes.

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Good save, Bob. So, quick demo.

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Um, but do bear in mind that when I travel through time

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my time machine will instantly re-appear

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back in this exact same spot.

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It'll actually be like it's never moved.

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How incredibly handy (!)

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Right, here we go.

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Sounds exciting. I wonder when he's off to.

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The 9th of Idiot-cember, 18-60-moron.

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MACHINE WHIRRS AND DINGS

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ROARING

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And I'm back. So, just popped along to the Jurassic era

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where I had a rather hairy encounter with a T-Rex. He came off worse.

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That sounds amazing. Actual Time Travel, live on DNN.

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And tell me, Doctor, what does the future hold?

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Well, I can do better than tell you, Bob,

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I can bring something back and show you.

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Right, I'm putting an end to this farce.

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Uh, no, Felicity! Do not go over there. Don't open that door!

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You could cause all of space and time to collapse.

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-Yeah, well, you got lucky there.

-And now it's time for the sport.

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Hello, and welcome to the sports locker. I'm Gary Ogden.

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Eh... Ooh, Gary! Wow. What are you doing in there?

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-I'm not Gary.

-Gary!

-Yes, Felicity?

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Get rid of this stupid box or my foot will be propelling you

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all the way into next year.

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I'm on it.

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Anyway, it's time to take a short break now

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but we'll be back in a jiffy.

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Yeah, but remember, other envelopes are available.

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-BANGING

-Stop it!

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Doh! You'll make things worse.

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And we're on a break.

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Bob, I need a quick word.

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Uh...Usain Bolt?

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No, that's three words.

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You and Gary can't just go around making up pretend interview guests.

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You're lying to the public.

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Young man, that's quite enough of your sharp talk!

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You can't come in here with your shiny shoes

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talking down to my Robert like that. Where's your manners?!

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I'm terribly sorry, Mrs Roberts.

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Bob, would you be so kind as to accompany me

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to the other side of the studio?

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Why, Mr Smart, it'd be quite improper for me to accompany you...

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-Come on!

-Oh!

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-He talks about you all the time, you know?

-Really?

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Mmm, every time he comes to me it's all,

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"Mappy did this. Mappy did that."

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Ah, no, Mrs Roberts. That's not...

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Ooh, Mappy! Look how green you are today!

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HE LAUGHS HAPPILY

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-Oh.

-Back on in ten.

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I can assure you, Robeta, our relationship is strictly

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unprofessional.

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Five, four, three...

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Welcome back to DNN.

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And yes, your eyes do NOT deceive you,

0:11:130:11:16

I have got even more handsome during the break.

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Anyways, moving on now to a story about aliens...

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Argh! Where?

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..with the news of the UK's first support group for people

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who believe they have been abducted by extraterrestrials.

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So, with her special report, here's the woman who thinks ET

0:11:300:11:33

stands for "Extra Tough".

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It's Nellie Osmond.

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Eeh.

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We've all heard of alien abduction, people claiming

0:11:420:11:45

they were beamed aboard an alien craft

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and then prodded about like a two-day old mackerel fillet.

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Ridiculous.

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But I'm here to meet the Beam Me Up help group,

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who, even more mind bogglingly, actually want this to happen.

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Byron Scalder, what's wrong with you people?

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I'll tell you what's wrong, Nellie, everyone in our group

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is desperate to be taken by aliens but the aliens just won't...swoop.

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We've shone lights into the sky, we've left offerings... Nothing.

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-We don't know what else to try.

-Well, might I suggest growing up

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because this is all utter pigwash and there's no such thing as aliens.

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Look, Marion's gone. She's been taken!

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-She's been taken.

-She's been taken.

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She's been taken.

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No, I'm just here.

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I was just getting a biscuit.

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Oh. She's not been taken.

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Against my better judgment,

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I agreed to join the group as they tried to summon aliens

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in Byron's garden, because I'm a professional.

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The summoning chant is on the card, Nellie.

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-ALL CHANT:

-Bee-bow-pa-po me like chicken tonight

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Mo-fa-salty gloria honey...

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Right, stop this. You're clearly talking rubbish.

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No, we are not, and I can prove it.

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Come to the garage and look at the artefacts.

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This is an alien mining chisel.

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That's a trowel.

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This is a translation device.

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No, it's a whoopie cushion.

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FART SOUND

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And that is - bearing in mind -

0:13:110:13:13

the correct answer is a toilet brush.

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It's a toilet brush.

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Seriously, I'm trying to do a job of work here.

0:13:160:13:18

Pull yourselves together, people! Aliens are not coming, capisce?

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REPETITIVE BANGING

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They're here!

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They came for us at last.

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Welcome, star traveller.

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We hope you come in peace.

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No, I've come with pizza.

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Sorry, I must get that exhaust fixed.

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-SIGHING:

-For goodness' sake.

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So, there we have it. No unidentified objects

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apart from some suspicious vegetables of the four seasons.

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This is Nellie Osmond, feet firmly on Planet Earth, for DNN.

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Back to you, Robert.

0:13:500:13:52

Time to take a trip to the Wild West of sport now

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and meet its sheriff, Gary Ogden.

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Thank you, Bob. Yes, I'm Sheriff Ogden.

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This is the sports...saloon and these are your sports headlines.

0:14:050:14:10

At the animal diving, there's a no-frills approach from the turtles.

0:14:100:14:13

Cat's basketball's new signing

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admits he doesn't understand the rules.

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And a beach volleyball match is called off due to hot sand.

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But to mark the start of the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow

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my top story this week is snooker.

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Snooker is not a Commonwealth sport.

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Oh, but I've made a film about it.

0:14:420:14:44

-Sorry, Gary.

-Well, the campaign to get it recognised

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as a Commonwealth sport starts here.

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So, here's a man who knows his chalk from his baulk...line

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Over to you, Gary.

0:14:540:14:57

Thanks, Gary. Yes, you've joined me right on cue.

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And as there's no "REST" for the wicked,

0:14:590:15:02

I'm here with up-and-coming snooker star Simon Potter.

0:15:020:15:06

All right, Darren?

0:15:060:15:07

Darren? Classic.

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So, Simon, you clearly know my name,

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but you have a rather more intriguing nickname, don't you?

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Ah, yeah, I suppose so. They call me The Conjurer.

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Because of your magic powers?

0:15:170:15:19

Ah, no, because of my snooker skills.

0:15:190:15:21

Look, you take a seat and I'll break, yeah?

0:15:210:15:24

My turn yet?

0:15:290:15:30

My go?

0:15:380:15:39

-Gary.

-Eh-na?!

0:15:560:15:57

You might want to see this. If it goes in I'll score a maximum break

0:15:570:16:01

-but it's a tricky one, so I'm going to bring out the spider.

-Spider?

0:16:010:16:06

Argh! I hate spiders. Keep it away! Keep it away!

0:16:060:16:10

Right. Good.

0:16:110:16:13

That long pole has scared the spider away. Hmm.

0:16:130:16:16

Yes! 180, maximum break.

0:16:190:16:22

No, it's 147.

0:16:220:16:24

Oh, you must have lost some points scaring away that spider.

0:16:240:16:28

Well, that's snooker,

0:16:280:16:30

and this reporter has been beaten black and blue.

0:16:300:16:34

Back to you in the studio...

0:16:340:16:37

Gary.

0:16:370:16:38

Thanks, Gary.

0:16:380:16:39

And that's all your sport for this week.

0:16:390:16:41

Before you go, Gary, I see you've been taking fashion tips from Simon.

0:16:410:16:46

I'm sorry, Felicity. I have no idea what you're talking about.

0:16:460:16:49

-Ah, the bow tie, the waistcoat.

-Oh. Oh, this. Oh, no, no.

0:16:490:16:52

My shift at Burtini's Italian restaurant starts in 15 minutes,

0:16:520:16:55

so I'm just getting ready.

0:16:550:16:57

Ciao, bella! Ciao, ciao, bella. Ciao...

0:16:570:17:01

Mine's a carbonara, Gary! See you in an hour!

0:17:010:17:04

Gary "Two-Jobs" Ogden there.

0:17:040:17:06

-HE SHOUTS:

-And don't forget the dough balls.

0:17:060:17:08

HORN HONKS

0:17:120:17:13

And now over to our eye in the sky,

0:17:130:17:15

it's the traffic with Beatrice Rhodes.

0:17:150:17:17

Er, no, well, she's not our "eye in the sky" today, Flicky,

0:17:170:17:20

she's our "scaredy face in space!"

0:17:200:17:23

Bea!

0:17:230:17:24

Bea!

0:17:240:17:25

She can't hear you, Bob. Sound doesn't travel in space.

0:17:250:17:28

That's the only reason she agreed to go up there.

0:17:280:17:31

You can still talk to her via the space-comms, Bob.

0:17:310:17:34

Ah, of course. Here goes, then.

0:17:340:17:37

-BEEPS

-Houston, we have a problem.

0:17:370:17:39

Argh, help! Engage thrusters!

0:17:390:17:41

-SHE SCREAMS:

-Mission abort!

0:17:410:17:43

Good, good. Everything's normal.

0:17:430:17:45

-BEEPS

-Only joking!

0:17:450:17:46

Oh! Ah, deep breaths. You can do this.

0:17:460:17:49

SHE SINGS

0:17:490:17:50

So, greetings from Earth, Bea!

0:17:500:17:52

Ah.

0:17:540:17:55

Increasing oxygen levels and I'm fine.

0:17:550:17:58

How's the traffic looking from up there, Bea?

0:17:580:18:01

Oh, it's wonderful, Felicity.

0:18:010:18:03

I'm so high up, I can't see any horrible traffic at all.

0:18:030:18:06

Although, I think I can see some tourist congestion

0:18:060:18:09

-on The Great Wall Of China.

-SHE MURMURS WORRIEDLY

0:18:090:18:11

-I bet from up there, tourists all look like ants.

-Really?

0:18:110:18:14

Arghhh, they do! I hate ants! Get me down from here!

0:18:140:18:18

-You're fine, Bea.

-Although, it's a real shame you're up there.

0:18:180:18:22

You could have met me nan. She's even brought cake.

0:18:220:18:24

Oh, no, I'm scared of nans. Both kinds. Human AND bread.

0:18:240:18:28

SHE MURMURS WORRIEDLY

0:18:280:18:29

Well, have some cake anyway. Here you go.

0:18:290:18:31

SHOUTS: Bob, no!

0:18:320:18:34

Where did it go?

0:18:340:18:35

Nana bakes a very light sponge, Flicky.

0:18:350:18:38

Open airlock, and...

0:18:380:18:40

SPLAT SHE SCREAMS

0:18:400:18:42

The drizzle has landed. I thank you.

0:18:420:18:46

Good throw, Bob. Bea's 200 miles into outer space

0:18:460:18:49

I know. I hope she didn't leave the iron on.

0:18:490:18:52

BEA SCREAMS

0:18:520:18:54

-She left the iron on.

-Yeah.

0:18:540:18:56

Time for the weather now with our jolly Geordie Davina Wave

0:19:000:19:03

and a very special guest.

0:19:030:19:05

That's not a special guest. That's Mappy, Felicity!

0:19:050:19:08

Hello, Mappy!

0:19:080:19:09

Not the Map, Bob. Tell him, Davina.

0:19:090:19:12

Well, Flicky, to make today's record more of a challenge,

0:19:120:19:16

I'm going head-to-head with another weather bod!

0:19:160:19:19

It's only ITV's Laura Tobin from Good Morning Britain. Huh!

0:19:190:19:24

Laura Britain?

0:19:240:19:26

Mappy's got a girlfriend?!

0:19:260:19:27

Hang on, where's her map?

0:19:270:19:29

Uh, she's NAKED?!

0:19:290:19:30

Welcome to DNN, Laura. So nice to have a professional joining us.

0:19:300:19:35

Thank you, Felicity. And hi, Bob!

0:19:350:19:37

Yeah, I'm not speaking to you, you've ruined everything.

0:19:370:19:40

What challenge are you attempting today, Davina?

0:19:400:19:43

Well, Flicky, we'll be setting the record for...

0:19:430:19:47

OK, you two, in 3, 2, 1...

0:19:530:19:56

Haway!

0:19:560:19:58

First off, if you're in Leeds you might want to call a vet

0:19:580:20:02

cos it's going to be raining cats and dogs. Woof, woof! Meow.

0:20:020:20:05

-And down south in London...

-You mean THAT London? Ugh.

0:20:050:20:09

Well, anyway, in London, it will be a beautiful day.

0:20:090:20:11

Blue skies and sunshine. The best place to be in the whole of the UK.

0:20:110:20:14

Hey, I'm on tour here, pet!

0:20:140:20:16

You cannae come on DNN and spout lies, you knaa?

0:20:160:20:19

Viewers, the best place to be on any day still is

0:20:190:20:23

and will forever be...

0:20:230:20:24

-YELLS:

-Newcastle!

0:20:240:20:26

Whoo-hoo! Newcastle!

0:20:260:20:29

The belly button of the North.

0:20:290:20:31

Where the footballers dress like bar codes!

0:20:310:20:34

One visit and you'll change your name to Laura Toooon Bin!

0:20:340:20:39

-Haway!

-Yaaa!

-Newcastle!

-SIREN SOUNDS

0:20:390:20:42

Time's up, you two!

0:20:420:20:44

Brilliant, Flicky. How did we do?

0:20:440:20:46

You fished out an impressive six footballs, Davina!

0:20:460:20:49

Haway, man! Whoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo.

0:20:490:20:52

But Laura fished out an amazing seven footballs

0:20:520:20:55

and sets the all-new record. Congratulations.

0:20:550:20:58

Yes! Yes, I did it. Whoo-hoo!

0:20:580:21:00

What?! Oh, nooo. Ah.

0:21:000:21:03

I cannae lose a Geordie record to a non-Geordie.

0:21:030:21:08

I cannot. There's one thing for it

0:21:080:21:10

Toon Bin, best of three.

0:21:110:21:14

-OK.

-Haway! Whoo-hoo!

0:21:140:21:16

Ah, what a great sport she is. Good job, Laura.

0:21:170:21:20

That's Mrs Mappy to you.

0:21:200:21:22

So, let's head back to Phil Tyme

0:21:220:21:24

and find out if he's managed to catch that movie pirate. Phil?

0:21:240:21:29

Sh, keep it down, Felicity.

0:21:290:21:30

We're inside. We're trying to spot the wrong'un

0:21:300:21:33

so we can get out and go and get married.

0:21:330:21:35

No, not you and me, Terry.

0:21:350:21:37

I mean, I like you as a friend, and, if you asked,

0:21:370:21:40

I suppose I'd think about it.

0:21:400:21:41

Sh, Phil. Over there, look!

0:21:410:21:43

Oh, get on that, Terry. Someone's filming it on their mobile.

0:21:440:21:47

Come on. Let's go and take 'em down for old times' sake.

0:21:470:21:51

-ROARS:

-Now then, Phil Tyme, the people's champion for DNN,

0:21:510:21:54

catching you making a pirated movie on your phone.

0:21:540:21:57

Aw, what...?

0:21:570:21:58

And didn't we get it all on camera, Terry? Ha-ha!

0:21:580:22:01

Successful sting. It's David Jones' locker for you, pirate face.

0:22:010:22:04

See, Terry? The greatest day of your life

0:22:040:22:07

and the greatest day of mine too. Get in! Ha-ha!

0:22:070:22:10

Oh, oh, what's going on?

0:22:100:22:11

Excuse me, I am the manager of this cinema.

0:22:110:22:14

Good, cos I've just caught them all...

0:22:140:22:16

Committing movie piracy in our cinema. Yes, I know.

0:22:160:22:19

We've had complaints before, we've just never had any proof...

0:22:190:22:22

..until now. Grab her, please.

0:22:220:22:23

-I was like, basically, like...like...

-On yer way.

0:22:230:22:26

And you too.

0:22:260:22:27

-Uh, no, not him. That's Terry, that.

-Yes, and that is a camera.

0:22:270:22:30

No, but he's filming me catching her.

0:22:300:22:32

No, you're coming with me. Come on.

0:22:320:22:33

No, no, you can't take Terry. He's getting married in a bit!

0:22:330:22:36

Oh, cheese and crackers! I'm so sorry, Tessa.

0:22:360:22:39

Oh, this is Phil Tyme live over -

0:22:390:22:42

probably not for much longer - for DNN.

0:22:420:22:44

Oh, Terry, don't look at Tessa, it's bad luck!

0:22:440:22:47

Phil Tyme there,

0:22:470:22:49

the scattered popcorn crumbs under the cinema seat of life.

0:22:490:22:52

That's actually quite good, Bob. Who thought it up for you?

0:22:520:22:55

Yeah, well, I don't know. Who thought up your...face?

0:22:550:22:58

And we're back to normal.

0:22:580:22:59

Oh, come on you two lovebirds.

0:22:590:23:02

Why don't you kiss and make up?

0:23:020:23:04

-Urgh, no.

-Urgh, no way.

-That's never going to happen.

0:23:040:23:07

Oh, but you'd be perfect together.

0:23:070:23:09

-Urgh, gross. BOTH:

-That's disgusting.

0:23:090:23:12

Just look at these rosy cheeks. They're so kissable.

0:23:120:23:16

Oh, Nana, stop it.

0:23:160:23:17

Ah, fine! If I give him a peck on the cheek will that make you stop?

0:23:170:23:21

-You'd make an old woman very happy.

-OK.

0:23:210:23:24

Ew, ew!

0:23:240:23:26

Steve, the wipes! I need the wipes.

0:23:260:23:28

Oh, I feel ever so...

0:23:280:23:29

RIBBIT. ...funny. RIBBIT.

0:23:290:23:31

Ooh, that looks sore, duck egg.

0:23:310:23:33

Now, I think I've got some cream for that.

0:23:330:23:36

Anyway, that's all we've got time for today.

0:23:360:23:38

I've been the Princess Felicity Bond.

0:23:380:23:40

And I've been Frog Roberts.

0:23:400:23:42

Croak goodbye, Frog.

0:23:420:23:44

Goodbye, Frog.

0:23:440:23:46

Flicky, am I imagining it, or am I all slimy?

0:23:460:23:49

Well done, you've picked the one thing about you that has not changed.

0:23:490:23:53

And I've got the munchies. Got any dead flies?

0:23:530:23:55

Try the staff canteen,

0:23:550:23:57

they serve them with most of their items.

0:23:570:24:00

Hello. Mr Backshall?

0:24:000:24:01

Yes, you might want to see this,

0:24:010:24:03

but be quick, it might be extinct by the time you get here.

0:24:030:24:06

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