A Grim Retreat Dragons

TOOTHLESS ROARS

This changes everything.

All right, Meatlug, there we go. Good girl.

Hey, you know what I just realised?

This is a new record for Gronckle Iron production.

Who's a good iron-making machine? Yes, you are!

Whatever. If it weren't for Hookfang,

that would just be a glob of useless barfed-up metal.

Well, if it weren't for Barf and Belch...

-CLANGING

-We rest our case.

-Uh-huh.

THEY GROAN

Er, Hiccup? I think Meatlug might be ready for a break.

She's starting to lose her gag reflex.

I guess the perfect little machine isn't so perfect after all!

Have you checked your dragon?

-The giant oven doesn't look too perky either.

-Huh?

HOOKFANG GROANS

BARF AND BELCH ROAR

STORMFLY SCREECHES

Whaa!

Er...what?

TOOTHLESS ROARS Really? You too, Bud?

All right, that's it. Dragons, to your corners.

Hey, Hiccup, did you know that, upside down,

you actually have a metal arm instead of a metal leg?

What is going on around here?

Hiccup, we've been working really hard on these reinforcement walls.

Everyone is just tired. Look at the dragons.

You know, Hookfang and I could really use a vacay.

Vacation? Count us in.

We'll grab our straw helmets, and a chilling tale of Viking murder

to read on some enchanted beach, laughing as the waves crash...

Guys, I get that you're all tired but remember why we're doing this?

Oh, because you told us to.

No, because Viggo is out there and when he finally realises

he can't use the Dragon Eye without the key,

he's going to come looking for it.

We can't leave The Edge unguarded again.

So, er...yay or nay on the vacay?

Oh, gods.

-Working on your map, huh?

-Need any help?

No, thanks, I'm just kind of...

You sure? Cos, you know, Fishlegs is really great with maps.

-Really great.

-HE LAUGHS

OK, fine. Out with it, you two.

You didn't come all the way up here because you love cartography.

-We object.

-We think everyone could use a break.

The dragons are really cranky from being overworked.

-Guys, I thought we went over this.

-Just hear us out.

As you know, we've been making Gronckle Iron, a lot of it.

In doing so, we've exhausted the supply of sandstone on the Edge.

And as you know - no sandstone, no Gronckle Iron.

There's a nearby island that has a huge supply of it.

It also deserted, quiet and would be a great place to relax

and take a little break from real work.

I don't have a choice on this one, do I? Where is this island, exactly?

All right. Viggo would most likely wait for low tide

and try to penetrate the lower wall, then come in through the arena...

Which is why you've secured it from the outside, Hiccup.

Gobber and I have defended Berk from much worse

-than a bunch of namby-pamby Dragon Hunters.

-I know, Dad. Of course.

LOUD THUD

Someone die? You two look like you're going to a Viking funeral.

-This is our vacation attire.

-This is not a vacation.

Call it what you will but we plan to kick off our shoes

and let the worries of the day melt away.

-Ugh.

-Did someone die?

-Was it Fishlegs?

-No, it's not Fishlegs.

-I'm right here and ready to go.

-Go where?

No-one ever tells me anything.

Hey, Chief, what are you doing here?

I'm here to look after your base until you all return.

-Return from where?

-You remember that vacation we were talking about?

-Yes?

Well, it's not that.

We're not going to a deserted island paradise to have any fun whatsoever.

Instead we're going to work, slave away in a sandstone mine.

What?!

All right, saddle up. We need to get there before dark.

Remember, Chicken eats six times a day, small portions.

She's trying to trim down. Then she gets special time right before bed.

You can read to her, tell her stories, massage her.

But if you're reading stories, nothing too scary, though.

Horrible nightmares where she scratches and claws in the air.

Stay about three feet away when she's sleeping.

I've got it, Tuffnut -

look after her as if she were one of my own.

All right, everyone. Let's do this.

This place is insane! Look at that lagoon!

Last one in is a rotten 2,000-year-old egg.

All right, fine. Just a quick swim, then it's back to work.

-Woohoo!

-Yeah!

-THEY CHEER

Cannonball!

Oh, no!

What's the matter, Bud? You don't feel like a swim?

TOOTHLESS GROWLS Ah, OK.

You just keep watch then.

Woohoo! THEY LAUGH

OK, guys. Got that out of our system.

Now it's time for the other kind of fun - working.

Dude, lighten up. R-E-L-A-X. Relax.

-Take a load off, H.

-Those rocks aren't going anywhere.

Unless we move them.

Ugh.

Oh, not you too, Astrid. You're killing me.

Hiccup, we're all behind you 100%

-Argh!

-SNOTLOUT LAUGHS

Oh, that's nice.

But you can't expect them to be you.

They're your soldiers, and good soldiers will work

until their hands are raw and until their backs are almost breaking.

But there does come a point when they need time to regroup,

to forget about being soldiers and just be people.

Ah, you're right. I've been pushing really hard.

-# Snotlout, Snoutlout, oi-oi-oi! #

-They deserve this.

Dinner is served.

What is that smell?

-Ah!

-Ugh! What is this?

Oh. Glad you asked, my lady.

That would be salt-encrusted sea bass with a salted seaweed gravy

mixed in with salt and all finished with a little pinch of salt on top.

Whoa, that is salty.

-Too much, you think?

-TOOTHLESS ROARS

Ugh!

Oh, weird. The dragons usually love fish, no matter how bad it tastes.

Hookfang won't even touch it, and I've seen him eat piles of yak dung.

-I mean piles of fresh-out-of-the...

-OK, we get it, Snotlout.

Well, I chalk it up to underdeveloped pallets,

both human and dragon.

-HE BURPS

-I need to lie down.

-Me too.

Shh, it's OK. It's OK, girl. It's sleep time.

Sleep.

-Sleepy time.

-HE YAWNS

-HE WHIMPERS

-Argh!

Meatlug? Meaty? Where are you?

Oh, no. It's not safe out there for a Gronckle,

alone in the wild.

Quiet and serene, my butt!

Meatlug! Here, girl! It's Daddy!

Whoa!

And I'm really scared.

So it would be great if you came out and...

Is she sleepwalking?

Oh, thank Thor!

I'm here to take you...

-MEATLUG ROARS

-..home?

-MEATLUG SNARLS

-All right, all right, all right.

I knew she was too tired, but I pushed her.

Bad Fishlegs, bad!

OK, listen, girl. I promise, no more work until you're...

WHOA!

You know, this is really Hiccup's fault if you think about it.

Shouldn't you be mad at him?

Argh! Help! Somebody! Anybody!

Whoa!

MEATLUG SNIFFS

THE DRAGONS ROAR

-HE WHIMPERS

-Everybody, wake up!

Zip it, Fishface! The sun's not even out.

Argh!

Oh, Thor.

-What's going on with the dragons?

-I have no idea.

All I know is that Meatlug was sleepwalking

and, when I found her, she was in a really bad mood

and chased me through the forest and tried to kill me.

THEY ROAR I don't think they're playing.

-Stormfly, no!

-Whoa!

-This is all your fault, you know.

-My fault?

-Yeah, that stupid salty fish.

They hate us cos they went to bed hungry and now they're cranky.

-That salt was properly pinched.

-Your brain is properly pinched.

THEY SHOUT

No, it's not the fish. Look at their saddles. They've been chewed off.

-It's a revolt. They're rising up against us.

-Why would they do that?

I don't know. Why would they?

You think this is my fault?

TOOTHLESS GROWLS

-OK, everyone split up. If we're together, we're vulnerable.

-Got it!

-Hiccup, come on.

-It seems as though Toothless is OK.

We'll hold them off until you guys are clear. We'll find you.

We'd better get out of here too, Bud.

THE DRAGONS ROAR

CLATTERING Argh!

SPLASH

We'd better find the others before the dragons do.

Chicken? Chicken?

Here, chickee-chickee. It's special time.

I've got a nice story to tell you about a sheep family

in their igloo made of wool.

Oh, hello, Skullcrusher.

You haven't seen Chicken, have you?

Gaa!

Please tell me you didn't...

DIGESTIVE GURGLING

-You did? You ate Chicken. Stoick is going to lose his...

-Gobber.

-Are you bothering my dragon while he's eating?

-Ah, yes.

-Well, about that, Chief.

-Leave him be.

He might try to take a bite out of you if he's feeling extra hungry.

-Wouldn't want that now, would we?

-No, we wouldn't.

Ah, Gobber, come on. You ate the boy's pet.

And of course I have to break the news to the lad.

Or do I?

Nothing. They must have really split up.

See if you can pick up any sounds, Bud.

SONAR SHRIEK

OK, those weren't the sounds we were looking for.

I haven't seen them act like this since we trained them.

They're hunting like wild dragons. RUSTLING

And apparently they're still pretty good at it.

No! Don't shoot!

-Ruff! You OK?

-No, I'm not OK.

I'm cracking under the pressure.

Ruff, you're fine.

Have you seen any of the others?

-You said split up!

-I know...

SHRIEKING Get down!

We need to find the rest of the riders, fast!

-GROWLING

-Meatlug! There's my Meatlug!

-Ack! What are you doing?

-What are YOU doing?

Trying to get us a one-way ticket to Valhalla?

My dragon is still inside there, Tuffnut. I can reason with her.

Did you see the look in her eyes? That was the look of a killer.

I know this because I see it in my own reflection. Pure killer.

-RA-RARR!

-Ah!

-Shh!

You know, I never should have trusted that dragon.

The way he looks at me sometimes, I know he thinks of me as a dinner.

Or a light lunch at least.

I should have picked a less ferocious dragon, like a Nadder.

-Snotlout!

-Shh. I hear something.

They're actually hunting us. How did it come to this?

Let's just hope Hiccup and Toothless get to them before they get to us.

All right, you're going to have to get used

to Tuffnut's strange affection for you.

He's going to squeeze you and hold you and talk to you

and tell you ridiculous stories but trust me -

it's better than what my chickens have in store for them.

Now, let's go and find some paint

so we can get you looking exactly right.

Here we go. Hopefully Tuffnut will believe this is his chicken.

What am I saying? I'm the chief! I'll order him to believe it.

CHICKEN CLUCKS

Hey, I'm not proud of it but that's the plan. So stick to it.

-Hiccup, run!

-Why? What's the matter?

-Hookfang!

He landed in the woods and he's coming this way!

-Oh, he certainly is.

-Run!

-Barf and Belch are right behind us.

We played right into their hands.

Technically dragons don't have hands so that expression doesn't...

Maybe we fell right into their talons?

Point is, we're about to be... THE DRAGONS ROAR

..surrounded.

Other way!

FISHLEGS WHIMPERS

Hiccup, how long are we going to wait until we make our next move?

What next move? I'm out of next moves.

TOOTHLESS ROARS

That way!

There, a cave!

LOUD CRASH

Hiccup, that's not going to hold for long.

We need to find another way out of here.

Oh, just say it. I know what you're thinking.

All I'm saying is we wouldn't be in this position

if your tyrannical behaviour due to your obsessive need to one-up Viggo

had not driven our poor dragons to the brink of insanity.

-There, I said it.

-Wow.

That was both dramatically impressive and logically sound.

Thank you, Tuffnut.

You all think this was my fault?

OK, well how about this -

if the dragons have been driven to the brink of madness, as you say,

why is Toothless completely unaffected?

Great argument. That would be just as logically sound.

If it weren't for one small thing...

TOOTHLESS GROWLS Oh, great!

Hey, hey. Look at me. It's me, it's me. It's Hiccup.

Toothless, whatever's going on, we can get through this.

Just talk to me. TOOTHLESS SNARLS

Toothless, just relax.

I am not going out this way.

TOOTHLESS ROARS

Whoa. What in the name of Thor was that?

That, my friend, was salt. Just a pinch.

-ALL:

-Salt?!

Hey, I didn't see any of you stepping up,

so I went with what I had and what I had was salt.

-And you fed us that stuff?

-SCREECHING

Hiccup, it's coming from Toothless.

SQUEALING

Did you see that? It jumped out of Toothless's skin. That was awesome.

Quick, put it on me. Put it on me.

Of course. A grimora.

That's why the dragons were hunting us.

-A grimwhata?

-Grimora.

It's a rare parasite

that attach themselves to dragons

and release a toxin that causes them to turn wild.

-But grimora usually only live in fresh water.

-The lagoon!

Our dragons must have picked them up when we went swimming.

They chewed up their saddles to get the grimoras off of them.

Not because they were rebelling. See?

And you thought I was working them too hard.

TOOTHLESS GRUNTS

OK, you're right, I was working them too hard. Point taken.

OK, so all we need to do is find the rest of our dragons

-and throw salt on them.

-You know, that could work.

Sorry, going to have to disagree with you there, Fishy. Out of salt.

Used the last of it on tea and then, you know,

the salt crusted sea bass which, I might add, no-one liked.

Everybody likes salt now but when it was on the sea bass, nuh-uh.

Well, then, we're just going to have to lead them

to the next best salt location.

Lead them? They're trying to eat us. Did you forget that?

No. Just don't let them catch you.

OK, Bud. Plasma blast!

-Ah, thank Thor. They're gone.

-HOOKFANG ROARS

-Whoa!

-Meatlug!

-Remember the plan.

You'll be fine, as long as you remember...

THEY SCREAM

..the plan.

Argh! Please don't eat me! I love you!

-MEATLUG SNAPS

-Oh, Thor!

Keep coming, Stormfly! Come on in! Bath-time!

You love bath-time.

Pyrite! It's your favourite, girl.

Go get it!

SQUEALING

It worked! Aw, it actually worked!

Come on, Stormfly! You love the water!

All right. I hate to do this, girl,

but you're not giving me much of a choice.

SQUEALING

There's my girl!

Don't worry, we won't tell anyone about your soft spot.

We'll just keep that between you and me.

Come on, Hookfang!

Remember those great times we had burning places down together?

You really want to throw that all away?

-HOOKFANG GROWLS AND ROARS

-Aargh!

Doesn't that mean anything to you?

Argh!

SQUEALING

Yes! 5,000lbs of raw dragon power back in action!

-Stop spilling the water, will you?

-Stop yelling at me, will you?

I'm sorry, I yell when I'm terrified - YOU KNOW THAT!

I do know that but it doesn't make it OK!

NOW!

-See you later, you leeches!

-SQUEALING

Good job, guys.

GRIMORAS SHRIEK

No, no, no, no! We've got to get you in the water.

Stay with me. Oh!

Argh!

No, Toothless! The water! Argh!

Argh!

Whoa!

TOOTHLESS GROWLS No, Toothless!

HICCUP SHOUTS

THEY GASP

Come on. Come on.

SQUEALING

Yes!

Welcome back, Bud! THEY LAUGH

Hookfang and I decided no more vacation for us.

I think a better plan would be

when we need a break we'll just stay a little closer to home.

I'm all for that.

Actually, the best plan would be for me to lighten up a little

on my Viggo obsession.

And tyrannical behaviour. Don't forget that.

Hey, Gobber, you decided to get one of your own. Can't blame you.

No, this is yours. This is the Chicken himself.

-Er, no, it's not.

-He's right.

The real Chicken is right here, isn't he?

Just read him a story and everything.

That's great, Chief, but no, not my chicken either. Different chicken.

Tuffnut, by order of the Chief of Berk, this is your chicken.

CLUCKING

Hey, Chicken!

Come here. Come here!

Yes! That's it.

You have a good time playing with Uncle Gobber? Of course you did.

Well, come on, my one and only Chicken. I'll tell you a new story.

It's got dragons and little slimy leechy things

that turn them into killers.

It's hard to believe it all happened but it's a true story.

-You're going to love it.

-Can't believe you tried to fake a chicken.

-You're the chief, for crying out loud.

-Me? Me?

Yours didn't even look like a chicken. It looked like a rooster.

I'm good at weapons. I'm not good at chickens...