Bubble Bobbin Robin Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions


Bubble Bobbin Robin

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# We've got a television show of our own

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# Making stuff that's been designed by you lot at home

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# Building your inventions the best that we can

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# Mostly out of rubbish from the back of our van

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# We've even got a title that'll grab your attention

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# All together now

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# Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions. #

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-Well, who'd have thought it, Oucho? Another series.

-Ha ha!

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I expect the boss misheard

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-and didn't realise what she was agreeing to.

-Ha ha! Ah, di!

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Seymour Scandal Investigates.

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-Oh, I love Seymour Scandal.

-Di.

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Brilliant. He's back on the TV, investigating scandals.

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-Him der nerdee!

-Yes, he's so nasty, isn't he?

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But fair. He only investigates people who deserve it.

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Who's he investigating this week? Which evil villain?

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'This week, Seymour Scandal is asking,

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-'are Ed and Oucho science fakes?'

-What?!

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-Seymour Scandal's investigating us?

-Oh, no!

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Oh, no, no, this is terrible. Cos if he investigates us,

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he'll find out we know nothing about science and get help.

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The Big, Big Cheese will find out,

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we'll lose our jobs and we'll be ruined.

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OK, Oucho, there's only one thing to do.

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-Ee evlaboof!

-Yes, eat everything.

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No. Not eat everything. No, we've got to find a really easy invention.

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So we look like we know about science,

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-but it requires no science at all?

-Di.

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Oh, I wonder who this could be at this inopportune moment.

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Hellos?

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It's you! It's Seymour.

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Ed and Oucho, isn't it true that you only choose really easy inventions,

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and you don't actually know anything about science?

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-No.

-No, no, no.

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We don't choose easy inventions.

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Just now, actually, we chose... We chose this.

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It's... It's called the, erm, the Bubble Bobbin Robin.

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-Oh, di, di.

-It's a hovering craft that hovers over land and water

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and it blows bubbles and shoots gunge at your friends.

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It's from Parysa in Batley.

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You mean, a hovercraft?

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-Er, yes.

-Di.

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You're going to make one of the most complicated vehicles in the world?

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-Yes.

-This I have got to see!

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Yeah, well you will see it actually.

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-Di.

-Because we love hovering and craft work.

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-Crah bler.

-So go away!

-Di, go!

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-Go on, get out, Mr Scandal, if that really is your name.

-Di.

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Now, this is going to be great.

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I secretly spoke to Parysa's mum and found out

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that on Tuesdays she practises street dance after school.

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So, we're just going to dance into her house and amaze her

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-while she's practising her own dance moves.

-Oh, Eh, milaw lars flunks.

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No, we do not look like fools. I spoke to Sam and Mark.

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This is what people wear when they're doing street-dance classes.

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Those guys know cool. Just follow my moves.

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OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

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What do you mean, you don't have any moves? Copy what I do.

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I'm a hip-hoppin', body-poppin'... man, yeah? Just do as I do.

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-Hi, Ed. Hi, Oucho.

-Hello.

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Ow! Ch-ch, hey!

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Oh, no dancing, why no dancing?

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Because I'm practising my violin.

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No, no, no. This is Tuesday, you practise street dance on a Tuesday.

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Actually, today's Wednesday. I practise my violin on Wednesdays.

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-Oh, no.

-No, today is Tuesday, definitely Tuesday.

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There's a very easy way of verifying that. Just take him there.

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We'll soon see who's right.

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-Oh, no!

-Oh, it's Wednesday.

-Flunk.

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Could I come into your house and hide from the entire world?

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-Come in.

-You don't want to see me do the robot, do you?

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-Erm, no.

-Flunk.

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OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

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-Oh, Oucho likes your house.

-Oh, thanks.

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OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

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-No, we can't live here.

-Oh.

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Anyway, let's get on with the science, which we love!

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Oh, science!

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So, if you can just put on this Brainstormer helmet. Lovely.

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And tell us why you want to invent the Bubble Bobbin Robin.

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I want to invent the Bubble Bobbin Robin,

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a vehicle that hovers over land and water.

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I'd like it to have a bubble machine on it to make bubbles,

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a cup-holder to hold my lemonade,

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and a gunge squirter to squirt all my friends with.

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Well, that all sounds very doable.

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-Di.

-There's just a few things we need to ask you about it, though.

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You say you want it to hover, where would you like it to go?

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-Out to sea?

-Erm, no, how about the nearby lake?

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That's probably more sensible.

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Oh, here's an important question.

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Is your mum planning on making any cake any time soon?

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I don't know, I'll go ask her.

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# Ed and Oucho's Excellent Inventions. #

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We better start this hovercraft before Seymour comes back.

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Think, Oucho. What exactly is hovering?

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Hmm.

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OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

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What Shirley does sometimes?

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-No, that's hoovering. Hovering!

-Oh.

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Hey, you two. Relax.

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To make something hover, you need a cushion of air.

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-Oh, it's Benson, the goldfish.

-Oh, hellos, Bensa.

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What did you say?

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I said, a cushion of air. Look.

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If you place a large fan under a vehicle face down,

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it forces many air molecules below.

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A big fan under the vehicle.

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Yeah, man. Dat's what I said.

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Everything is made of molecules, you know.

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The air molecules being forced down create an area of high-pressure air.

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And high pressure's good?

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Oh, yes. Look.

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As the air molecules try to spread out, they push upwards,

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downwards and side to side, making a cushion of air.

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-A cushion of air.

-A cushion of air?

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Yeah. That's what you said, Benson, a cushion of air.

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What are you talking about, man?

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Fish don't use cushions.

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-Try and remember, Benson, try and remember!

-Who are you, man?

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That's the problem with goldfish.

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-They've got a memory like a... Well, a goldfish.

-True.

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But we did find out that we need a large fan.

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-Di.

-Now, where are we going to get a large fan?

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OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

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Dan the Fan Man has fans in his van?

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-Di.

-Where's Dan the Fan Man's van?

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OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

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Oh, right. Oh.

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Let's go and see if Dan the Fan Man's got any fans in his van.

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-Di.

-Good plan.

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This will be one in the eye for stupid Seymour,

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-the stupid investigator of stupid things.

-Di.

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By the time he gets back,

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we'll have built this hovercraft and sailed to China.

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Oh, so it's stupid Seymour the stupid, is it?

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I've not been called that since secondary school.

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So, Ed Petrie, or as your colleagues at the BBC like to call you,

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Peepee Petrie.

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That's outrageous and untrue, and only happens sometimes.

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Oh, I know a lot of scandal about you.

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Because, unlike you, I'm good at my job and that is why people love me.

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All I have to do is prove you can't make the Bubble Bobbin Robin

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and that'll be the end of you and your ugly little cactus.

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-Oh, really? Well, I can make the Bubble Bobbin Robin.

-Di.

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So, nuts to you and your ugly little cactus.

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I haven't got a cactus.

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Yeah? Well, you can shut up, then.

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-Di.

-Look over there, a miracle wart cream store! Quick, let's scarper.

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Oh!

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In your face, Seymour stupid face.

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-Di.

-It's done.

-Oh, eh, dom so losserly!

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It looks lovely, doesn't it? Parysa!

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Hi, Ed. Hi, Oucho. Have you built my Bubble Bobbin Robin?

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Yeah, sure have. It's fantastic and it totally works.

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-Do you want to see it?

-Yeah.

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-Ta dah! This is it.

-Wow.

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Doesn't look like a robin,

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and it doesn't have a cup-holder or a gunge-squirter.

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-Well, I can stick those things on later.

-Di, di, di.

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-What are these?

-These are some pictures of famous Robins I found.

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I can get rid of them.

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-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Yeah, hop on.

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-Di.

-It doesn't look very safe.

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It's totally safe, isn't it?

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-OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

-Yeah, very safe indeed.

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Get on and I'll start the rotating blades.

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-How am I supposed to...?

-Just get on.

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-Geh on!

-Is there any...?

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OUCHO SHOUTS IN CACTINIAN

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-A bit better than that. Just get on it better.

-I can't, it's...

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-Tell you what, I'll start the fans, and then you can get on it.

-Di.

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-Oh!

-What? The fan was meant to create a cushion of air.

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Ah!

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-Seymour!

-Well!

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Well, well, well!

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-Well?

-Ye, wha?

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So, Ed Petrie, what happened to your Bubble Bobbin Robin?

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Why did it break and fall over?

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Could it be you're an idiot who knows nothing about science?

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This isn't a Bubble Bobbin Robin.

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-Is it, Parysa?

-No.

-Is it, Oucho?

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Di... No, no. No.

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Did you think that was my Bubble Bobbin Robin?

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-Cos you're the idiot if you thought that.

-Di, a losserly irias.

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We can only imagine why Ed Petrie and his lying sidekick

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would force an innocent young girl onto a broken and unstable platform.

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Are these really the sorts of people we want our children to learn from?

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Seymour Scandal continues to investigate.

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Yeah, after he's finished investigating his warts.

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How were you going to make a hovercraft without a curtain?

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A curtain? I mean, a curtain! Yeah, we know all about curtains.

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-We've got a curtain.

-You have?

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Why did you get me to say that?

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You're fired.

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So, what went wrong?

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The fan was supposed to make a cushion of air, but it didn't work.

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-Why?

-Well, Seymour said something about curtains.

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Cushions, curtains...

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-Are we building a hovercraft or furnishing a living room?

-Ooh!

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Maybe we should just find out more about cushions and curtains.

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But I don't know anything about cushions or curtains,

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or soft furnishings in general. It's all a bit girly for me.

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-Ah! Doola Darwie!

-Danielle Darwin?

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-Di!

-Oh yes, she's a girl, isn't she?

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-And she always did surprisingly well at school.

-Ah, dem surs prurry.

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Being pretty isn't important, mate.

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-OUCHO SIGHS LONGINGLY

-Come on, let's see Danielle Darwin.

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-Hi, Danielle.

-Hello, babes.

-Losserly.

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Hello there, you little green freak of nature.

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We need to find out about cushions and curtains.

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They're not as good as handbags and footballs and puppies,

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but I do love soft furnishings. What you looking for, babes?

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-A cushion of air for a hovercraft.

-You can't buy a cushion of air.

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I wish you could, cos then I could put my head on it at night

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and in the morning, my hair would be perfect.

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OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

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-He says you're always perfect.

-Oh, thank you, you little weirdo.

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-Anyway, how do we get hold of a cushion of air?

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Well, you gotta make one with a fan.

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We tried to make a cushion of air with a fan

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-and it smashed to the ground.

-Well, it would do, without a curtain.

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Why do we need a curtain?

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Like, imagine, right, if this basket of sponges didn't have any sides.

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-What'd happen?

-All the sponges would fall out.

-Exactly.

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That's what a curtain does.

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-Stops all the air molecules escaping out the sides.

-OK.

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-We'll take this curtain, please.

-Ha-ha-ha!

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No, you can't use any old curtain. You gotta use a wind-proof one.

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You need to test different materials.

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Well, can we have that cup-holder and bubble machine?

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Yeah, whatever.

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And I don't suppose you've got a windproof testing machine?

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Aw, no. We just sold the last one.

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But, you can have my old hairdryer, yeah?

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Seeing as your little friend's so cute.

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OUCHO GIGGLES

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Just finished building the testing machine in there.

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-Oh, we need a hairdryer. Can you get that one off Oucho?

-Yes.

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OUCHO GROWLS

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-Ed, Oucho's growling at me.

-Just take it off him.

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No, doo carm mabbles!

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Why can't we have it?

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-Eh, too prooshar!

-It's not precious.

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-Eh smootos monure.

-I don't care if it smells of Danielle.

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Look, if we can't find a windproof material,

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-we can't build a hovercraft, can we?

-Noss.

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Then Seymour Scandal's going to make his TV programme

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-about how rubbish we are. Now, do you want Danielle to see that?

-Noss.

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Right, well dismantle this shrine to her. Give me that hairdryer.

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-OK.

-And this gold curtain.

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-OK.

-And this red velvet.

-OK.

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-And that £50 you hid in a banana skin.

-OK.

-Ha!

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Just need a couple more things.

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Well, I found this.

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Oh, what's that?

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It looks like the inner tube to a tractor tyre or something.

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That could be good, yeah. One more thing.

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Oh, there's some net curtains in the van.

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You use nets for catching things, so maybe they'll catch air.

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I'm good. I'm a genius. I'm going to buy a hat with "genius" on it.

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Where is Parysa? Parysa!

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-I'm here. Nice hat.

-Oh, thank you very much.

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OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

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-Yes, it was the best £50 I've ever spent.

-Meh.

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Now, here's how the testing machine works.

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I'm going to put different materials in front of this hairdryer,

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-which Oucho's going to turn on and off.

-Di.

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But we need to find out if air gets through the material.

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-So that's what the feathers are for?

-Yeah.

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I need you to get your face in front of the feathers to see if any move.

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-But won't they all blow in my face?

-Yeah.

-Di.

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If you're going to be all "health and safety" about it,

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wear these goggles and a face mask, OK?

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-Right, everyone in position?

-Di.

-What setting is the hairdryer on?

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Billi, billi, billi, billi hos.

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-Very, very hot.

-And you want me to put my face next to it?

-Di.

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Put it down to the cool setting, will you? Are you happy now?

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Yes, and you'll be pleased to know

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-that I don't have any feather allergies.

-Ah, losserly.

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Great. OK, let's get testing.

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First up, the net curtain.

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-It's a curtain, that's what we're looking for.

-Di.

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-Are there any left?

-Just the one.

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-Just one?

-Yeah.

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How windproof do you think this is?

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-Not very.

-No.

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Now, behold the gold curtain.

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OK, let's go.

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-How are we doing?

-There's a few left.

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-So it's a bit better.

-Yeah.

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Time now for the posh red velvet.

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And now, Parysa will do her famous impression of a chicken.

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Bawk-bawk-bawk!

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-How did we do there?

-A lot better.

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-It was much better, wasn't it?

-Di.

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Maybe red velvet's the way to go.

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-It's letting a bit of air in though, isn't it?

-Yes.

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OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

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It's the tractor inner tube. Let's see if it lets any air through.

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-How we doing, Parysa?

-Brilliant. Didn't let any air through.

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-None at all?

-No.

-Di.

-Great, we'll use this, then.

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We'll use the tractor inner tube for our hovercraft.

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It's made of rubber. Let's get building.

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-And let's all wear hats!

-Er, noss.

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OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

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Look at this! It's got a windproof curtain,

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-a fan to divert air down into it so it hovers.

-Di.

0:16:270:16:30

And it's got a bubble machine. It's fantastic.

0:16:300:16:32

Except it doesn't have a gunge-squirter

0:16:320:16:35

and it doesn't look like a robin.

0:16:350:16:37

All right, Little Miss Picky. We'll put all those annoying bits,

0:16:370:16:40

I mean, those essential bits, on later.

0:16:400:16:42

The important thing's to get it hovering, isn't it? So hop on.

0:16:420:16:46

This is the fan. It'll blow the air into the curtain to make it hover,

0:16:470:16:50

and we've the bubble machines on the back.

0:16:500:16:53

-Are you ready to go hovering?

-Yeah!

-Let's get hovering!

0:16:530:16:56

-OK, that's the fan.

-Di.

-Watch this. Look, Parysa, look. Bubbles!

-Wow!

0:16:580:17:04

-And it's hovering as well.

-Yeah.

0:17:040:17:06

Let's take this outside to the water.

0:17:060:17:08

It's not moving. It's hovering, but it's not moving.

0:17:100:17:13

-What?

-It's not moving.

-Oh.

0:17:130:17:15

Oh, look over there!

0:17:170:17:19

-It moved.

-Di!

0:17:190:17:22

-You made it move!

-I did not do that.

-Yes, you did.

0:17:220:17:24

All right, all right.

0:17:270:17:29

If you want it to move...

0:17:290:17:31

-we'll put some wheels on it.

-Di.

0:17:310:17:33

But how are they going to touch the ground if it's hovering?

0:17:330:17:37

Maybe you could have a non-moving Bubble Bobbin Robin?

0:17:370:17:40

It's not really a Bubble Bobbin Robin if it doesn't move.

0:17:400:17:43

At least, that's what Seymour will say.

0:17:430:17:45

Yeah, you're right.

0:17:450:17:47

If we can't get this moving, then Seymour's going to find out

0:17:480:17:52

and everyone will laugh at us and we'll lose our jobs.

0:17:520:17:55

Worst of all, your mum said she was going to make us some cake

0:17:550:17:58

-and it never materialised.

-Di, minah cakka.

0:17:580:18:00

-That's the biggest problem here. We needed cake.

-Can't we just...?

0:18:000:18:04

-No, get us cake. Cake!

-Cakka!

0:18:040:18:06

Cake!

0:18:060:18:09

Oh, and here's another one.

0:18:100:18:12

Where's it going?

0:18:120:18:14

Hooray! Good times.

0:18:140:18:15

What's that divine smell?

0:18:150:18:17

What you doing? You're not supposed to be playing Pop the Balloon.

0:18:170:18:20

You're supposed to be working on the Bubble Bobbin Robin

0:18:200:18:23

while I made a cake with my mum.

0:18:230:18:25

-Yeah, we have been.

-Oh, di.

-We've been thinking.

0:18:250:18:28

We should stop asking for advice from shop assistants and goldfish,

0:18:280:18:33

-and ask a top scientist, one of the best in the world.

-Donar Destrolos.

0:18:330:18:37

-No, not Dr Destruction.

-Da?

0:18:370:18:39

He's that evil man you met on holiday in Magaluf.

0:18:390:18:41

-Heesa losserly mutty.

-He's not a lovely man.

-Losserly mutty!

0:18:410:18:45

He wants to destroy the world.

0:18:450:18:47

-Eh groh dandas.

-Whether he's a great dancer or not is irrelevant.

0:18:470:18:51

-Eh boolala sortie.

-Yes, he's a brilliant scientist.

0:18:510:18:53

He's also wanted by the police in 14 countries.

0:18:530:18:56

He's always trying to build evil contraptions of doom.

0:18:560:18:59

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

0:18:590:19:01

I know he's the only top scientist we know.

0:19:010:19:03

What would Seymour think

0:19:030:19:05

if he found out I'd been ringing up an evil villain?

0:19:050:19:07

Well, don't worry. I'll call him.

0:19:070:19:10

PHONE BEEPS

0:19:150:19:18

Hello? Dr Destruction, deliverer of doom!

0:19:180:19:23

-He sounds really scary.

-I told you.

0:19:230:19:26

Hello, Dr Destruction. It's Ed Petrie here, a friend of Oucho's.

0:19:270:19:31

Who?

0:19:310:19:33

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

0:19:330:19:36

You won a dance competition with him in Magaluf?

0:19:360:19:39

Ah, yes! Oucho. I remember.

0:19:390:19:43

Magaluf, Magaluf!

0:19:430:19:46

You see, we're trying to build this machine

0:19:460:19:48

called the Bubble Bobbin Robin.

0:19:480:19:50

It's supposed to hover and blow bubbles and squirt gunge.

0:19:500:19:53

The only thing is we can't make it move forward.

0:19:530:19:56

Ah, you are building the Bubble Bobbin Robin of Destruction?

0:19:560:20:00

No, it's not supposed to destroy anything.

0:20:000:20:02

If you want your vehicle of destruction to move,

0:20:020:20:05

-you need to apply a force to it. Preferably evil.

-A force? Of what?

0:20:050:20:10

When you apply a force to a vehicle of destruction,

0:20:100:20:13

you are basically giving it a push.

0:20:130:20:16

You will need something to push it along,

0:20:160:20:18

but as this vehicle of destruction is hovering,

0:20:180:20:22

you will need to push it with air.

0:20:220:20:26

-Push it with air? How do we do that?

-It's very simple.

0:20:260:20:28

When the fan blows molecules of air, it pushes them all together.

0:20:280:20:33

We've already got a fan.

0:20:330:20:34

It fills up the curtain underneath and makes it hover.

0:20:340:20:37

You need to push some air out of the back of the vehicle of destruction.

0:20:370:20:41

When the molecules push back,

0:20:410:20:43

they will push the vehicle of destruction forward.

0:20:430:20:46

OK, so what we need is one fan blowing down into the curtain,

0:20:460:20:50

and another fan blowing out the back to push it forward?

0:20:500:20:53

Not necessarily. You can use one fan and divert the air.

0:20:530:20:58

Send most of the air down into the curtain

0:20:580:21:00

to make your vehicle of destruction hover,

0:21:000:21:03

and divert the rest of the air out of the back.

0:21:030:21:06

-Oh, right.

-And this fan will also distribute the toxic gas.

0:21:060:21:10

No, there's no toxic gas. It shoots bubbles and gunge.

0:21:100:21:13

Ah, bubbles of toxic gas, and acid gunge.

0:21:130:21:17

You are worse than me!

0:21:170:21:19

No, just normal bubbles and gunge.

0:21:190:21:21

You will need my help, yes, in the destruction of the world?

0:21:210:21:25

Yes, yes, the destruction of the world. I mean, no.

0:21:250:21:28

You've been very helpful, thank you.

0:21:280:21:31

-It's a good job Seymour Scandal didn't hear that phone call.

-Di.

0:21:310:21:34

Imagine if he heard me talking about vehicles of destruction

0:21:340:21:37

with a psychotic criminal scientist.

0:21:370:21:40

I know you're there, Seymour.

0:21:430:21:45

-Interesting call!

-That phone call was to my mum, actually.

0:21:450:21:49

Not an evil scientist, so ha-ha-ha-ha.

0:21:490:21:51

Oh, really?

0:21:510:21:53

-You bugged my phone.

-Oh, noss.

-Let's listen, shall we?

0:21:550:21:58

'So a fan will propel my vehicle of destruction...?'

0:21:580:22:01

'You will need my help, yes, in the destruction of the world?'

0:22:010:22:04

'Yes, yes, the destruction of the world...'

0:22:040:22:07

That's not what it sounds like.

0:22:070:22:09

Sounds to me like an interesting conversation

0:22:090:22:12

with the world's most wanted evil scientist.

0:22:120:22:15

Yes, I think I've got what I want. You, cover up the wart on my bottom.

0:22:150:22:21

I haven't sat down for weeks.

0:22:210:22:23

And carry me back to the car, I'm tired.

0:22:230:22:26

Oh, you're fired!

0:22:260:22:29

Stupid, stupid Seymour!

0:22:290:22:31

-What a nasty man.

-I hate him.

0:22:310:22:33

Did Dr Destruction tell you what we need?

0:22:330:22:36

Oh, him? Oh yes, it's simple.

0:22:360:22:38

We can do this, people. Let's go.

0:22:380:22:40

# This week we found ourselves under investigation

0:22:470:22:51

# Seymour was out to trash our good reputation

0:22:510:22:55

# An easy invention was what we were after

0:22:550:22:58

# I chose a hovercraft, cue Seymour's laughter

0:22:580:23:01

# Started to wonder, was it even worth bothering?

0:23:010:23:04

# When Benson told us about fans and hovering

0:23:040:23:08

# We got a fan from the van, stuck it to some wood

0:23:080:23:10

# It wasn't that surprising when it turned out to be no good

0:23:100:23:14

# Fans, molecules

0:23:140:23:17

# A cushion of air

0:23:170:23:20

# Why wasn't ours working? It's not fair

0:23:200:23:25

Ole!

0:23:260:23:27

# But Seymour had unwittingly mentioned a curtain

0:23:270:23:30

# Exactly how it worked, well, none of us was certain

0:23:300:23:33

# Danielle filled us in, she's bright and no mistake

0:23:330:23:37

# A curtain was needed so the air wouldn't escape

0:23:370:23:40

# Set up a test Which material would do it?

0:23:400:23:43

# Rubber was the one that didn't let air through it

0:23:430:23:46

# The Bubble Bobbin hovered We're on the right track

0:23:460:23:49

# Dr Destruction said, divert some air to steer it out the back

0:23:490:23:53

# Fans, hovering

0:23:530:23:56

# Who could ask for more?

0:23:560:23:59

# Here's hoping we've cracked it

0:23:590:24:02

-# In your face, Seymour. #

-Ole!

0:24:020:24:08

So, let's see how useless Ed Petrie and Oucho are.

0:24:080:24:13

They've tried to make a Bubble Bobbin Robin,

0:24:130:24:15

but have forgotten one vital thing.

0:24:150:24:18

What did we forget?

0:24:190:24:20

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

0:24:200:24:22

-We must have forgotten something. He's really happy.

-I don't noss.

0:24:220:24:26

-We'll have to find out the hard way.

-Di.

0:24:260:24:28

Right. Parysa asked us to build her a Bubble Bobbin Robin,

0:24:300:24:36

-a vehicle that could hover over land and water.

-Di.

0:24:360:24:40

She wanted to blow bubbles and squirt gunge,

0:24:400:24:42

and most importantly of all,

0:24:420:24:44

she wanted a cup-holder so she could sip lemonade.

0:24:440:24:46

-Are you thirsty, Parysa?

-Yeah.

0:24:460:24:48

Right. Get out of my way. Let's get this out on the lake.

0:24:500:24:54

Drive!

0:24:540:24:57

Break down!

0:25:290:25:31

-It works!

-Oh, di!

0:25:580:25:59

Well done, you drove it so well.

0:25:590:26:02

Are you all right, Seymour? You seem a bit down in the dumps.

0:26:020:26:05

How come that worked?

0:26:050:26:06

You forgot about the wheels.

0:26:060:26:08

-Whee?

-Wheels?

0:26:080:26:10

On a hovercraft?

0:26:100:26:12

The clue's in the name, Seymour. What an idiot!

0:26:120:26:14

PHONE RINGS

0:26:140:26:15

Da bow.

0:26:150:26:17

Hello? ..It's the Big, Big Cheese.

0:26:190:26:22

Oh, it's for you.

0:26:240:26:26

Hello?

0:26:270:26:28

Well, actually, it worked.

0:26:290:26:32

I know I said it wouldn't, but we've still got a programme.

0:26:320:26:37

We've got the Peepee Petrie story and the Dr Destruction tapes.

0:26:370:26:43

What? You're cancelling the programme?

0:26:450:26:48

But Ed and Oucho are rubbish...!

0:26:480:26:52

Hello? Hello?

0:26:520:26:54

-Hmm!

-Oh, well, you've won this time.

0:26:560:26:59

But I know you're rubbish, and soon so shall the whole world.

0:26:590:27:03

-To be honest, most of them have probably worked it out by now.

-Di.

0:27:030:27:06

Get out of my way. All of you, you're fired! Shoo!

0:27:060:27:10

Ha ha ha, di.

0:27:100:27:12

So, Parysa, do you like your Bubble Bobbin Robin?

0:27:120:27:14

-Yes, it's brilliant.

-Di.

0:27:140:27:16

Well done, mate. High five.

0:27:160:27:18

Ow! I've got to stop doing that.

0:27:180:27:19

Mate, listen to this.

0:27:200:27:22

"Unfortunately, one of TV's most popular programmes,

0:27:220:27:25

"Seymour Scandal Investigates,

0:27:250:27:26

-"has been dramatically dropped from the schedules."

-Oh, doss.

0:27:260:27:30

"Seymour Scandal's given up his television career due to warts,

0:27:300:27:33

"and is now living in a shoebox, rocking back and forth screaming,

0:27:330:27:37

"'I hate Ed and Oucho.' And in tonight's TV highlights,

0:27:370:27:40

-"Bill Oddie does the tango with a bald eagle."

-Ooh!

0:27:400:27:43

TV's getting more and more ridiculous.

0:27:430:27:45

OUCHO SPEAKS CACTINIAN

0:27:450:27:49

Oh, I'd forgotten you sent your ideas to the Controller of BBC One.

0:27:490:27:53

I'm not sure the world is ready

0:27:530:27:55

for cactus-wrestling from the Philippines.

0:27:550:27:58

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