Collecting Merl Endangered Species


Collecting Merl

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# Let's go on an adventure!

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# That isn't very wise

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# He-he-he! I love you guys. #

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SCREAMING

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# This is getting crazier

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# Feels like we're endangered

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# Species. #

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MERL GROANS

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Hm... Si, hm. Mm-hm....

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Mm-hm, ah! Mm, mm-hm.

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THUDDING Gah! Ah!

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My nuts!

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Merl?

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Gull! What are you doing inside permanent archive cabinet 13?

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Oh! Er...

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Trying to help.

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You are lost again, no?

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Um...

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-No.

-My prized collection of nuts, it is no place for you.

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Oh, is that what this is?! Oh, tell me more! Tell me more!

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Well...

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-OK, I tell you.

-Yay!

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Every great nut collection, she begins with the nut.

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Then the storage.

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And then the documentation.

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I have beech nuts, peanuts, chestnuts,

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Argentinian marshmallow nuts, hazelnuts, pine nuts, spider nuts,

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sugar-free diet nut, neon nuts, cola nuts, the peekaboo shell pecan nut,

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gummy nuts, sushi nuts, pistachios in every colour of the rainbow.

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And some sweet, sweet cashews.

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-Bless you.

-Huh?

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Huh. And, finally, the ultimate prized nut of my nut collection -

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the stuffed nut.

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Nutty Buddy.

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Whoa!

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Collections are fun.

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Oh, I wish I could collect stuff.

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-What's stopping you, Gull?

-Um...

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I don't know what to collect!

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This, mi amigo, is the easy part.

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Simply find what you love the most in the world

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and then collect every single thing related to it.

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Hmm.

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What do I love mostest?

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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Oh-oh-oh, OK! OK. Um.

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Unicorns, dinosaurs, flying saucers...

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Wait! Go back!

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My friends. That's it.

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APPLAUSE

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I know what I love the mostest.

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He-he-he! He-he-he!

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Now I need to start collecting.

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-Huh?

-Huh?

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Hm.

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Argh!

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Oh, ah!

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-What you doing, Gull?

-Oh, you caught me.

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I found what I love mostest in the world.

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My friends.

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Hey, I remember this.

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And this.

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Ha-ha! And I really remember this.

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Pff-ff-tt!

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Most of my junk is kind of junk but Merl has lots of cool stuff.

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-Maybe you should make a collection of just Merl's stuff.

-Really?

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-You think so?

-Yeah. I can even help you with it.

-Yay, yay, yay!

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'The Nut Whisperer will be back after these messages.'

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-CRASHING

-Hm?

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What is going on in...?

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HE GASPS

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The mess! The madness!

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What are you doing with my Nutty Buddy?

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Why, Merl, did you need him?

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Whoa, Gull, you need to preservate the integrity of your collection.

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IN-TEG-ER-DY?

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All right. Look, give me back my...

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-Pff-ff-tt!

-THEY GIGGLE

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Ah, I must...

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You still got it, whoopee cushion!

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I don't know, Pickle, maybe I should give Merl his stuff back.

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Giving stuff back's the total opposite of collecting, ain't it?

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Yeah! Wait, no, er, yes?

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We need to display your collection all proper-like, Gull.

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Whoa! We need to make a Merl museum.

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Yeah! We're going to make Merl so happy.

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Ah, now, this makes me happy.

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I tie the bib, I eat the cake.

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What?!

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-Hey!

-He-he-he!

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Where are you going with my lunchy?

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Gah!

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-What is this?

-It's my collection of Merl-obilia.

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Welcome to the Merl Museum.

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Gr-rr-rr!

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OK, you two have had the fun.

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But you must stop this stealing of my stuff.

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You will take no more.

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-You know what that means?

-No, I do not.

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-Merl relics have just became really rare.

-Aa-ah!

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Better increase security.

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Gr-rr-rr!

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The velvet ropes, they are everywhere.

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Who put all this stuff around my bed?

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Stop touching the exhibit, please.

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That is no exhibit, it is my bed.

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And we're going to keep it just like it was the last time you slept in it.

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Sorry, you'll have to leave now. Museum's closed.

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What?! But this is my room.

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Where am I supposed to sleep?

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Gah!

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Huh?

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Huh, no touching the exhibit. That's no exhibit, that's my bed.

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That blinky light, it makes it too hard to sleep.

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Oh, and I cannot get to sleep

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without my little stuffy Nutty Buddy.

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Oh! Gr-rr!

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That is it. I am going to get my Nutty Buddy back.

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HE GASPS ALARM BLARES

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Er, sorry, ma'am, but the Merl Museum is closed.

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But I can't get to sleep without my stuffy Nutty Buddy.

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Merl, it's a museum. Not a library.

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Yeah, Merl. I mean, a-doy!

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Then why do both of you get to sleep in your beds?

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Cos we're the museum night guards.

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Sorry, Merl, but the Merl Museum will be open again in the morning.

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Nutty Buddy!

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That is it. They have pushed Merl too far with this collecting.

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I will break into my own museum...

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I mean, bedroom, and get back my Nutty Buddy.

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# Da-da-da Dada-da-dum-dum-dum. #

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Hm-hm, mm-hm.

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Dooruta.

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GULL YAWNS

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Wah!

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Ha!

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Argh!

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Ah!

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Zz-zz-zz...

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Nutty Buddy.

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Argh-ha!

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Gr-rr.

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Museum this way.

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Street luge track now open. What's a street luge track?

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Whoa-oa-oa-oa!

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Whoa-oa!

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Argh!

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Aa-aa-aa-rgh!

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Et tu, nuts?

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# Da-dada-da! #

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HE EXHALES LOUDLY

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Gg-gg-gg-gg!

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Ah-ha!

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Stay calm, Nutty Buddy, I shall save you.

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-ALARM BLARES

-Ah!

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THEY GASP

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Stop! What are you doing?

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I need my Nutty Buddy!

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-Why is it so dark in here?

-Oh-ho-ho!

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-Oh, you're going to love this, Merl.

-Yeah.

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You're the first to ride the Merl Museum's latest attraction.

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-A Day In The Life Of Merl.

-But I am Merl!

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CLANKING

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What is happening? The bathroom, she is moving.

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Oh, OK.

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It is morning time. I am waking up. This is not so bad. Wait.

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Gull, what are you doing with my stuff? Get away, security camera.

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Ah, security lasers! Gah!

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Not the street luge track. Wah!

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Whoa! Merl's life, yeah, it's really loud!

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And we ain't even got to the part of Merl's day

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that always ends in disaster.

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Disaster?!

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Nutty Buddy!

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He-he! Yep, Merl's got to love that.

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-One, please.

-Sure thing, Gull. You're our best customer.

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HE SIGHS

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-What's wrong, Gull?

-Not sure.

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-Something just seems to be, I don't know, missing.

-How can that be?

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-We made the best Museum Of Merl ever.

-Yeah.

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-But it makes me miss Merl.

-I know. I miss him, too.

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But he should fall out of orbit one of these days, right?

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You know, Nutty Buddy,

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there are many worse things than being stuck in the outer space, yes?

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It is peaceful. Quiet. I can relax and eat the space nuts.

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Whoa!

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Whoa-oa-oa-oa!

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Aa-aa-aa-aah!

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MERL GROANS

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-Yes! The squirrel has landed.

-Merl! Oh, I am so happy to see you.

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Pickle and I were so carried away with saving all of your stuff

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that we forgot to save you.

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SPLUTTERING

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What I think Gull's trying to say, Merl...

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-We should get rid of this insufferable museum!

-No.

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-We should put Merl on display.

-Yeah, we should.

-No!

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-Why are you doing this?!

-Because we love you so much!

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-And we miss you, too.

-But I am right here.

-Oh, you know you want to.

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Argh!

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# All right! #

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