Go Go Giant Fee Fi Fo Yum

Giant Television proudly presents Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Busy, busy!

Yes, I think that's finished.

What next? A showbiz star.

Earth!

Welcome to Family Fun For You, with me, Les Dennis!

-Wah!

-He'll do.

-You can't grab me, I'm a game show host!

-I can!

-Ah!

Next, humunchies, yum-yum!

-TUMMY RUMBLING

-What are you doing?

You can't eat him!

-I can...

-Put him down!

-..Watch me.

I hate that giant!

Now, it's Fee Fi Fo Yum!

And today's contestants,

all the way from Wales are The Afan Dragons.

They'll be playing against The Essex Explorers,

who come from Woodford Green.

Here's a taste of the thrills and spills

that stand between them and their freedom.

And now,

here he is, every Giant's favourite host,

it's Des, I mean Leeeeeeees Dennis!

Ha-ha-ha!

Hello and welcome to Fee Fi Fo Yum,

the show where the team that's not the winner will be Brian's...

ALL: Dinner!

I'm so excited, I just can't stop dad dancing!

I just feel it's going to be one of those really great shows today.

What do you think, Brian?

SNORING

Brian?

Huh? What? Huh? What?

You know, Fee Fi Fo Yum, the show's started!

Sorry, Des, I don't know what happened. I must have nodded off!

All right, perhaps you could stay awake

because we are about to play and meet the teams!

Let's, first of all, meet the Afan Dragons!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Hiya, Morgan! Do you like dancing?

-Hiya, Les!

-Do you like it?

-A bit of dancing?

-Yeah!

-You think Alex, at the end, likes dancing?

-Introduce us to your team, Morgan.

-Thomas.

-Hiya, Les!

-Hiya, Thomas.

-Meghan.

-Hiya, Les!

-Hiya, Meghan.

-Alice.

-Hiya, Les!

-Hi, Alice.

-And Alex.

-Hiya, Les!

-Hi, Alex.

You're a bit of a mover yourself, aren't you, Alex? Give us a few...

There you go. Excellent, I love it!

What type of team would you say you are?

Confident, crazy and...

-AWESOME!

-OK!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's the awesome Afan Dragons, let's meet The Essex Explorers!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Cor, you're a lively lot, as well! Hiya, Jessica.

-Hiya, Les!

-Introduce us to your team!

-Saline.

-Hiya, Les.

-Hi Saline.

-Mathumie.

-Hi, Les.

-Hi Mathumie.

-Leila.

-Hiya, Les.

-Hi, Leila.

-And Suzy.

-Hiya, Les.

-Hiya, Suzy!

-What type of team would you say you are?

-Awesome and brilliant!

-Oh, you're awesome as well! And brilliant.

-And perfect.

-And what?

-Perfect.

-Perfect!

What a couple of teams!

All right, this is how we play Fee Fi Fo Yum!

OK, teams, you will compete in a series of games

in order to try and earn time.

The more time you earn,

the better chance you will have in the finale, The Great Escape.

Because, remember, the team that gets beat, Brian's going to...

-ALL:

-Eat!

Oh, What? Eat! What? Huh?

Yes, that's right. Let's see if our first game can wake Brian up a bit!

Oh, yeah, go on, Des, do it, do it!

All right, Brian.

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart.

The more you eat the more you...

BRRRP!

-ALL:

-Oh!

As you can tell, teams, Brian likes beans, a lot!

So, what you have to do, is catapult as many beans as you can

onto your round of toast

using the teaspoons that Brian's provided you with.

The team that gets the most beans on the toast

will earn a five second lifeline

-and take Brian's mind off eating you, for a while.

-Come on!

Brian, who's going to play?

Eeny, meany, miney, moe,

I think you should have a go,

Thomas and Meghan,

you look tasty

and I want Saline and Leila.

Mm, I reckon you'll be delicious!

Brian's made his choice. Teams, let's play...

Beans On Toast!

You'll have until Brian's egg timer runs out

to load up that toast with the beans. Good luck.

Brian, over to you.

Three, two, one...

BRRRRP!

That's it, the more beans you feed him...

the better he'll like you!

EXCITED SHOUTING

It's got to go onto the toast!

That's the first one!

If it goes on the table it won't count,

if it goes on the plate it won't count.

If it goes on your opponent's toast it'll count to them!

30 seconds left.

Afan dragons flying ahead at the moment.

Essex Explorers, you need to get some beans on that toast!

20 seconds!

Nearly, but not quite!

Hurry up, I'm hungry!

-Oh!

-Ooh, there you go, your first bean!

Three...two...one...time's up!

Oh, time's up!

OK, players, back to your teams. Let's see how you did.

The Afan Dragons, you got six beans onto your round of toast. Well done!

Oh, delicious!

The Essex Explorers only got one.

-Hmm.

-So, that means that you spilled the beans,

you came up trumps and you get the first five second lifeline!

-Well done the Afan Dragons!

-APPLAUSE

But it's still all to play for!

That's the end of part one of Fee Fi Fo Yum.

-Join us after this.

-APPLAUSE

'Stay tuned to Giant Television.'

# GTV! #

Breath too fresh? Then you need Stinks mouthwash.

Each bottle contains concentrated essence of cabbage, mould and sweat.

Instant results guaranteed every time.

Go on! Give it a go.

Oh...Mummy!

Ooh, knock out!

Be a minx, get some Stinks!

SNORING

'You're watching GTV. Back now to Des.'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum.

At the end of the first game

the Afan Dragons got a five second advantage over the Essex Explorers,

but there's still plenty of time up for grabs. What does time mean?

-ALL:

-Freedom!

That's right, keep it down, though, guys.

Because Brian is so sleepy, this is his favourite part of the show,

but if I don't do it, he might not even notice!

Don't even think about it, Des! I wouldn't miss this for the world!

Oh, he's woken up. OK, Brian, off you go, introduce it.

It's Des's Tasty Challenge!

No, it's Les!

-It's Des!

-It's Les!

-Des!

-Les!

-Des!

-Les!

-Des!

-Des! Doh!

Ha-ha-ha! Got you!

-Ugh!

-LAUGHTER

Des' Tasty Challenge!

Do you know what, Alex?

-I wish Brian'd fall asleep for this part of the show.

-So do I.

-Huh?

Er... I said, "What I am I going to eat?"

I don't really know!

LAUGHTER

Anyway, it's on to Les's Tasty Challenge.

And we have a foodstuff under here that Brian has provided me with.

You have to guess how much of this food I can eat in 30 seconds.

-All clear, teams?

-ALL: Yes, Les!

Let's reveal the meal!

ALL: Urgh!

Cockles!

-Yummy, yummy, yummy!

-Cockles, yes, lovely(!)

You have to guess how many cockles

I can possibly eat in 30 seconds.

One at a time I'll do it. I won't just shove mouthfuls in.

Just, it'll be one at a time, the cockles - cockles!

-Why? I mean...

-Mmm, yum!

..a bit of vinegar on it would be nice,

but just cockles on their own?!

I mean, I just don't get it. Have you been to the seaside?

-Where is the seaside in giant land?

-(17...18?

-Just do 17!

-88!)

OK, out of your huddles, teams.

Put down your guesses, but keep them to yourselves.

Don't let your opponents know what they are.

-Brian, can I have my light, please?

-Of course, Des.

Right, I have 30 seconds to eat as many cockles as possible,

starting...now!

BELL RINGING

Come on, Les! Come on, Les!

Come on, Les! Come on! Woo!

ENCOURAGING SHOUTING

Mmm, yum!

Ha-ha-ha! Hee-hee-hee!

Ten, nine,

eight, seven,

six, five, four,

three, two, one -

TIME'S UP! You've started, so you'll finish!

HE COUGHS

-You did put some vinegar on, didn't you, Brian?

-Sorry, Des!

All gone!

-Ho-ho-ha-ha!

-How do you like it?

So, Afan Dragons,

how many cockles did you guess I could eat in 30 seconds?

-ALL: 16, Les!

-16! Thank you!

And what about you, The Essex Explorers, how many did you guess?

ALL: 17, Les.

Ooh, 17, there's only one in it! We'll find out from Brian now.

How many did I actually eat?

Ahem... I can confirm you have eaten 17 cockles!

17? That means Essex Explorers right on the nail!

-You get the five second lifeline!

-Well done!

Well done, that was really close, you were just one out

and I dropped one. I would have eaten 18!

OK, we're going to have a break.

Find out soon, which one of our humunchie team

will end up in Brian's tum. See you soon!

Come on Brian, wake up!

Brrr!

Oh, I know, maybe a cameraman will help!

Ahh!

Oh, Brian!

-Put him down!

-Ah, ah!

'Here are some giant messages for all your gianty needs.'

Hmm, nope. Still sleepy!

Come on, wake up!

# G-T-V! #

Are you a messy eater?

Fed up with your food getting stuck in your beard?

Well, help is at hand in the shape of the Waste Not Want Not Beard Vac!

Its super suck action

will have your beard free of crumbs in next to no time.

Buy today and you'll receive this handy Beard Vac food tray

absolutely free!

Hey! Waste not want not!

Warning, the Waste Not Want Not Beard Vac

should not be used near animals.

So, say goodbye to that food-filled face

and hello to the Waste Not Want Not Beard Vac!

Limited one time offer, 87 grots.

SNORING

Feeling tired and in need of a boost?

Then you need Go Go Giant!

Giving you the energy to get up and Go Go!

And Go Go...and GO GO!

Don't live in slow-mo, have some Go Go!

'You're watching G-T-V, back now to Des's game.'

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-'Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum!

'It's a really close contest.'

The Afan Dragons have a five second lifeline!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The Essex Explorers have a five second lifeline!

And there's more time up for grabs

as we play our next game

and this is how it's going to work, teams.

Brian has hidden some fridge magnets in the lime jelly.

You have to get them out

and create a sum that will add up to Brian's lucky number.

So, Brian. What's your lucky number today?

My lucky number is 43!

Oh, right, somebody's woken up! Is that clear, teams?

ALL: Yes, Les!

Brian, who's going into the jelly?

I'm going to pick...

Alex,

I could dunk you in a cup of tea.

And...

Suzy.

Bit of salt and pepper and you'll be delicious!

And who's making the sum?

I'm going to go with

Morgan...

and Alice.

Oh!

And I'll have...

Mathumie

and Jessica.

Mmm, you're going to make a delicious snack!

Brian's made his choice. Let's play...

Lucky Numbers! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Alex and Suzy, you'll be diving in for the symbols.

You will pass them on to Alice and Jessica,

who will pass them on to Morgan and Mathumie, who will do the sum.

You can only have five symbols at any time.

If you don't like any you can pass them back.

The team that comes up with the sum first

will win the five second lifeline. Good luck! Goggles on!

Mmm!

On your marks, get set -

GO!

SHOUTING

That's it, get into that lime jelly!

Yeah, go on! Get the numbers.

You need to find a sum that adds up to 43.

Brian's lucky number today.

There you go, Jessica's gone for a multiplication sign, there.

Squeezing those symbols out, as well.

Is it a one, or is it a minus?

Come on, give me the x!

We've got a times five, here.

Is that a six, or is that a nine?

Wake up, humunchies!

Mmm!

And a three here! AND A THREE!

Mathumie knows what she wants here!

Dive in! You need some Go Go Giant!

Mathumie is asking for a three!

Come on! I need a three!

EXCITED SHOUTING AND SCREECHING

'Afan Dragon!'

OK, Brian, we reckon that the Afan Dragons have finished here,

so, Morgan, what's your sum?

Nine times four is 36.

And six is 42, so...we've got to play on!

SHOUTING AND CHATTERING

Off we go!

'Afan dragon.'

What is it now, Morgan?

Nine times four, add seven.

Is that right, Brian?

It's correct!

-CHEERING

-Yes! There you go!

Changing the six for a seven, you get the five second lifeline!

-Well done Afan Dragons!

-Well done!

Jessica and Mathumie, what were you going for?

-I was going for eight times five equals 40.

-Yeah.

-And then add three.

Good thinking, but you couldn't find the addition symbol,

so it means the Afan Dragons take the lead.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We're going to take a break, after that we'll be quizzing you

on the commercials you'll be watching, so watch closely.

And you lot at home watch and you can play along -

not that your life depends on it!

When I were a lad

I used to go to Nan's house every Friday for my tea.

I remember it well.

She'd make heaps of lovely cake and we'd wash it down with a nice brew.

Nans always make the best cuppa..

With a fuller flavour, strong and rounded,

reach for the Old Grey Lady.

Each Old Grey Lady is matured longer to give you that stale,

past its best, taste.

SLURPING

Mmm.

Everyone knows that nans make the best tea!

# Medi Mallet! #

If you've hurt your back lifting a heavy box at work

you need the all new and improved...

# Medi Mallet! #

Simply take hold of the Medi Mallet...

it's inside the box.

# Medi Mallet! #

Now, put your hand on a flat surface.

Raise the mallet and then apply firmly.

-Ahh!

-The Medi Mallet won't cure your bad back,

but it'll sure take your mind off it!

-# Medi Mallet! #

-If symptoms persist, don't blame us.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum.

I hope you were watching and listening to those ads carefully

cos I'm about to quiz you on them.

If you have an answer, then buzz in, but it must be correct.

If it is correct I'll give you a two second lifeline.

If it's incorrect, I'll pass it over to the opponents.

At this point in the game, the Afan Dragons,

you have a lifeline of 10 seconds - well done!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The Essex Explorers, you have a current lifeline of five seconds.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You're just behind.

This is your last chance to catch up

and get some really important lifesaving time.

Right, fingers on your buzzers. Good luck, teams. As we play...

Ad Analysis!

OK, here goes, question one.

In the Old Grey Lady Tea Ad,

what was the boy carrying when he went to the nan's house?

Afan Dragons.

-The Dragons!

-Bread, a loaf of bread.

A loaf of bread.

Was it a loaf of bread? Let's look!

It's the correct answer! Well done!

So, question two.

How many teabags come in each box of Old Grey Lady Tea?

Essex Explorers.

How much? One?

-No, that's not correct, so we pass it over to the Afan Dragons.

-12?

-12, are you guessing now?

-Silly little humunchies!

Let's have a look. It's 250!

So, nobody gets a point there, or any seconds.

So, question three. What was written on the giant's breakfast bowl?

-Afan Dragons.

-Porridge.

-Let's have a look if you're right!

-Yes, you are right!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The Dragons get another two seconds!

Oh, that was an easy one!

Now, we move over to question four. In the Medi Mallet bad back ad,

where did the Giant find the Medi Mallet?

-Essex Explorers.

-The Explorers are in.

-In a box.

-Let's see if you're right!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It is right! Well done, you get the two second lifeline, there.

This is your last question in this round.

How was the Giant advised to apply the Medi Mallet?

-Essex Explorers.

-The Explorers are in.

He had to smash it on his hand.

Kind of, Suzy, but I need you to be more specific.

The advice was that he had to press his hand on top of the box

-and then hit it.

-On a flat surface.

On a flat surface and then hit it.

Hit it how?

-Erm...

-Whack it!

I'm going to have to pass it over, guys!

So, how was the giant advised to apply the Medi Mallet?

He had to hit...

-He had to put his hand on a flat surface, hold the mallet...

-Yes.

-(And do it firmly...)

-A key word. I'm looking for one key word.

-He had to do it firmly.

-Meghan says firmly. Was it firmly?

Let's have a look!

-Raise the mallet and then apply firmly.

-YES!

That was it, well done, you get the two second lifeline!

SCREAMING AND CHEERING

Sorry, we had to be really specific.

It means that at the end of that round, you've got three right,

-which gives you six seconds, well done!

-Well done!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And the Essex Explorers, you got one right, which is two seconds.

Ha-ha-ha-ha! APPLAUSE

How is that going to affect your overall lifeline?

Well, let's find out!

After a quick word from my mate Jim Elastic. And stretch!

Thanks, Les! On today's Get Up And Go Go -

sponsored by Go Go Giant -

I'm going to show you how to work off some of those humunchies

with the aid of Tower Bridge.

It's as simple as,

foot up and down,

foot up and down, foot up.

So, join me, Jim Elastic, after Fee Fi Fo Yum, right here on GTV.

And down and up

and down and...

-RIPPING

-Oh!

Have you got a needle and thread down there?

# Doo-doo-doo-dooo-doo... #

Here, Des, you want to try one of these!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

LAUGHTER

Yeah, thanks for that!

Right, teams, this is where things get serious.

Brian's not picking anymore, this is down to you.

You have to decide who is going to take on the Great Escape!

Go into your huddles, teams.

This is a really important decision.

Whoever steps up to the mark

will have the fate of their team-mates in their hands!

-Such pressure!

-Ha-ha-ha!

WHISPERING

You're really strong... you're dead good...

OK, you should've decided by now.

So, I need to know, Afan Dragons, who's playing and why?

Thomas! We're going to pick Thomas.

He's reliable, responsible and he's VERY good at sports.

And we know he's going to get us out of this box

because Thomas is awesome.

-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

-Essex Explorers, who's playing for you?

-ALL: Leila.

-And why's that?

She's fast, she can fit through small holes

-and we think she's awesome, brilliant!

-Ho-ho-ho-ho!

-How do you feel?

-Honoured and confident

because I know I'm going to free my team.

Good, all right! You two teams are so confident!

Thomas and Leila, it's time for...

The Great Escape!

This is it!

Thomas and Leila,

Brian has trapped your team-mates in the Scales of Justice

and their future hangs, literally, in the balance.

It's down to you two to attempt to release them,

but standing between you and them is The Great Escape!

-First, you must tackle the Doughnut Dash.

-Whoo!

-Then it's on to the Kitchen Roll Crawl.

-Ooh!

-Watch out for those meatballs, though!

-Ah!

Once you've got across there,

you must then negotiate the OAP Puree can, the Old Lady Lard

-and the Nan in a Cube to get on to the rolling pin run.

-Ooh!

-But beware, Brian's got those teabags out.

-Ah!

Next, you must complete the Choc Bar Challenge,

to build a bridge to Brian's Big Bowl.

Then it's up the Slippery Slope to the Rope.

The player that gets to the top first

-will have the chance to pull the release rope.

-Ooh!

Only then will their team-mates be able to escape

through the Freedom Chute.

I don't need to remind you,

the team that's not the winner will be Brian's...

-ALL:

-Dinner!

-I'm afraid so, teams.

-Yum!

So, it means, Afan Dragons, you have an overall lifeline of 16 seconds.

That's really good, Thomas, well done.

The Essex Explorers have a seven second lifeline,

so that means, Leila, you are nine seconds behind.

-Thomas, how do you feel about that lead?

-Really excited!

-Leila, do you reckon you can catch up?

-Yes.

-Where do you think you'd be able to catch up?

-On the chocolate.

Thomas and Leila. Thomas, you will go on Brian's first whistle

and then, Leila, you will go on Brian's second whistle.

-Is that clear?

-Yes.

-Yes.

Good luck! Brian, over to you.

Run for your lives!

Off you go, Thomas!

Can he make the most of that nine second lead?

-AFAN DRAGONS:

-Come on, Tom!

Off you go, Leila!

Oh, you're quick through those doughnuts!

Little trip but...and then another little trip! Watch it.

Leila, go carefully.

Thomas, you're up through the cans, then in the cube, across - Whoa!

What about that? Oops, you slipped on the old lady lard!

And, oh, while I was watching there Leila's caught up! Amazing!

Well done, Leila, that was incredible!

What a competition we have on here!

Who's going to make the Choc Bar Challenge first?

Leila's doing well, she's caught up that nine seconds and, I think,

at the moment she might just have the advantage.

FRANTIC SHOUTING

It looks like you have one last little bit to go in,

well caught up, Leila!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

I'm going to stand on your Choc Bar Challenge

because you're in the lime jelly first.

And, yeah, she's off!

Thomas, you need to catch up!

You need to get those nine seconds back, that you've lost

and Leila's crawling up, this is amazing!

SCREAMING

Oh, that's it!

You have been released! Off you go!

Leila, that was amazing!

Freedom!

See you, Essex Explorers.

GIRLS GIGGLING

Oh, Thomas, come here. Hard luck!

We were ACTUALLY going to stop you at one point

cos you didn't finish your Choc Bar Challenge,

but by the time we thought, Leila had already won.

-She was magnificent. Yeah? You're a good loser?

-(Yeah!)

-It means you're not the winner. You're Brian's...

-Dinner.

-Dinner!

Sorry about that, sorry, team!

-Over to you, Brian!

-Mmm, come here, you!

Scrummy!

Afan Dragons, sorry to lose you, but rules is rules!

Delicious!

SCREAMING

Fee Fi Fo Yum!

SHE SCREAMS

-Ahhh!

-I'm going to enjoy you!

-Mmm!

-Ah!

That's it from Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Brian's munching away on his five a day,

but it won't keep him happy for long.

Join us next time, when two new teams of humunchies

will fight for their freedom and hope to stay out of Brian's tum.

See you then. Say goodbye, Brian!

Goodbye, Brian!

Hey, Brian, I tell you what!

That Go Go Giant pill certainly did the trick!

You're telling me! I wonder how long they las...

HE SNORES

Ah, sleeping beauty!

E-mail [email protected]