World Record Attempt Fee Fi Fo Yum

Giant Television proudly presents Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Busy, busy.

The studio's finished. What next?

A showbiz star. Earth.

-Welcome to Family Fun For You, with me, Les Dennis.

-You'll do.

-You can't grab me, I'm a game show host.

-I can.

Next, humunchies. Yum, yum!

-What are you doing? You can't eat him.

-I can.

-Put him down.

-Watch me.

-I hate that giant.

-Now, it's Fee Fi Fo Yum!

And today's contestants, all the way from Middlesex,

it's the Wembley Wonders.

They'll be playing against the Fantastic Five

who've come from Taunton.

Here's a taste of the thrills and spills

that stand between them and their freedom.

And now, here he is, every giant's favourite host,

it's Des...I mean Les Dennis!

Love you, love you, love you.

HE CHUCKLES

Hello and welcome to Fee Fi Fo Yum,

the show where the team that's not the winner will be Brian's...

-ALL: Dinner!

-That's right. How's it going, Brian?

Today's a big day, cos I'm going to break a new giant world record

by eating five humunchies in the quickest time ever! Mmm!

Wow! That sounds exciting. I'll look forward to that.

But remember, Brian, the rules.

Before you eat 'em, we've gotta meet 'em.

So let's meet the Wembley Wonders.

CHEERING

You look tasty.

-Hiya, Disha.

-Hi, Les.

-How you doing?

-I'm fine.

-Introduce us to your team.

This is my team. This is Shania.

-Hiya, Les.

-Hi, Shania.

-Tara.

-Hi, Les.

-Hi, Tara.

-Anand.

-Hi, Les.

-Hi, Anand.

-And Janvi.

-Hi, Les.

-Hi, Janvi. I love that way of presenting you've got there.

What type of team would you say you are?

Well, we're really confident to be here and I think we going to win.

Ooh! A confident team. OK, that's the Wembley Wonders.

-Yum, yum.

-Let's go over and meet the Fantastic Five. Hi, Xander.

-Hi, Les.

-How you doing?

-I'm doing fine. How about you?

-I'm very well. We could talk for ever.

-Yes.

-Introduce us to your team.

-This is Liam.

-Hiya, Les.

-Hiya, Liam.

-Emily.

-Hiya, Les.

-Hi, Emily.

-Oliver.

-Hi, Les.

-Hi, Oliver.

And lastly, this is Bradley.

-Hiya, Les.

-Hi, Bradley. And what type of team would you say you are?

-We are a very, very confident team, Les.

-Yeah?

-Yes.

-So you reckon you're going to win as well?

-Yes.

OK, that's two very confident teams. Should make for a great show.

CHEERING

OK, teams, this is how we play Fee Fi Fo Yum.

You will compete in a series of games in order to earn time.

The more time you earn, the greater chance you will stand

in our grand finale, the Great Escape.

So, the team that's going to get beat, Brian's going to...

ALL: Eat.

-In record time.

-Yes, Brian, in record time.

You've told us that. Without further ado, we'll play game one.

Brian loves to treat himself to a chow mein, but there's one problem.

He hates peas. Ha-ha! I saw that coming.

-BRIAN CHUCKLES

-Thanks, Brian.

Your job, teams, is to remove as many peas as possible

using chopsticks and put them onto the plates.

The team that puts the most peas on the plates will win

the first five-second lifeline

AND take Brian's mind off eating you. So, Brian, who's going to play?

Hmm. I like the look of...

Disha and Anand.

You'll do nicely.

And Oliver and Liam.

You'd make a tasty snack.

Brian's made his choice.

Teams, let's play...

You have until Brian's egg-timer runs out

to get your peas on your plates. Good luck. Brian, over to you.

Three, two, one, chop chop.

That's it, players. Remember, you need to work as a team,

and you guys need to support.

The Wembley Wonders have got one on the plate already.

It nearly went off the other side.

If it had, that would have been a pea on the table.

Peed on the table!

It's not as easy as it looks, is it?

You've really got to know what the other player is thinking.

Wembley Wonders have got a pea between the chopsticks

but there's also a noodle. Ow!

There it goes, it's off, and it's on the table.

It might be off and onto the floor.

30 seconds left.

Not quite getting that telepathy between each other, you two guys.

Ohh!

Stop faffing about.

The Wembley Wonders have got another one on there.

The other plate looks very forlorn and empty.

-Oh!

-Brian's looking forward to that chow mein without peas.

-Three, two...

-It's 3-nil!

-..one!

-Come on, come on!

That's it. Time's up. Players, rejoin your teams.

Let's see how you did.

Will that chow mein keep Brian's hunger at bay?

So, the Wembley Wonders, you got three peas on your plate. Well done.

As for the Fantastic Five,

I'm afraid no peas, so no lifeline for you.

-BRIAN CHUCKLES

-You guys get a five-second lifeline.

That's it for part one of Fee Fi Fo Yum.

We're going to take a pea break. See you in a minute!

World record training - stage one.

On the marks, get set, go.

-'Important job interview?'

-LOUD GURGLING

'Oh, dear, that doesn't sound good.

'Desperate to make a good impression?'

PPHRRRRRT!

'I'm not sure that's going to get you the job.'

-PPHRRRRRT

-'And that definitely won't.'

HE SPLUTTERS

'Time to run.

'If only she was wearing a guff-muffler.

'Fitted in seconds, the guff-muffler cuts out those gusset grumbles,

'leaving you free to get on with what's important.'

Done.

And that's why they call it fast food.

Now, humunchie-eating world record, here we come.

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum, where the Wembley Wonders

have a five-second lead over the Fantastic Five.

But there's plenty of time up for grabs. And what does time mean?

ALL: Freedom.

Because if the other team beat you, Brian's going to...

ALL: Eat you.

And not only is he going to try to eat you,

but he's going to try to do it

in the fastest time possible to beat the world record.

So Brian, I suppose while you're training for the record,

you probably don't have time to think about this part of the show.

Oh, you must be kidding.

I wouldn't miss this for the world.

All right then, go on. Introduce it.

It's DES's Tasty Challenge.

No, no, Brian, it's LES's Tasty Challenge.

Sorry, DES.

BRIAN CHUCKLES

DES's Tasty Challenge.

Xander, I must hold the world record for being the only game show host

to be trapped on a giant's table for all these years.

-I don't think I'll ever get out of here.

-There, there, Les.

Oh, Des, get on with it, will you?

I hate that giant. Ooh...

Anyway, on with the challenge.

Under this dish is a type of food that Brian has put here.

I have no idea what it is.

You have to guess how much of this food I can eat in 30 seconds.

-Is that clear, teams?

-ALL: Yes, Les.

Right, let's reveal the dish.

Chilli chocolate.

So, chocolate with a little chilli twist.

How much of this do you think I can eat in 30 seconds?

Put your guesses down on your cards, keep them to yourselves.

OK, there we have it, chilli chocolate.

So, you know, Brian gives with one hand, takes away with the other.

Chocolate - nice, chilli - nice, but together?!

TEAMS CONFER

Maybe I could go for a world record just to get my own back.

OK, you should have your guesses. Keep them to yourselves,

as I ask Brian for my light, please.

Of course, Des.

I love the light! Thank you, darling.

And now I have 30 seconds, starting now.

Hmm. One.

Yummy, yummy, yummy!

-Faster, faster!

-I thought you'd never start.

20 seconds.

It's horrible.

Delicious.

Time's up. Des, eat it all up.

HE MUMBLES

Come on.

All gone.

Wow! That was really hot.

OK, teams, I need to know your guesses.

-So, Wembley Wonders, how many did you guess?

-11.

-Fantastic Five, how many did you guess?

-15.

15.

Brian, how many pieces of chilli chocolate did I eat in 30 seconds?

I can confirm you have eaten eight squares of chilli chocolate.

Eight? So that means the Wembley Wonders at 11

are the closest, and another five seconds. Well done.

-Well done.

-We're going to take a break.

Eventually, one of these team of humunchies

will end up in Brian's tum. Join us soon.

My turn now, Des.

World record training - stage two.

How quickly can I eat a pack of choccy gobs? On my marks, set, go.

'Hey, Mr Giant. Nice day, isn't it?

'What's the matter?

'Come on, take your hands away.

'And the other one.

'Now both at the same time.

'Wow! That's one hairy snozzer, you big hairy freak show.

'But don't be sad, cos help is at hand

'in the shape of the Waste Not Want Not nose-hair-yanker.

'Simply apply the yanker to the unwelcome hairy blockage

'and off you go.

'Whoa there - don't fight it, just let it work its magic.

'Oh, yeah, that's got to feel good.

'And don't waste all that lovely nose hair.

'Why not have it made into a fancy new hairdo? Waste Not Want Not.

'The Waste Not Want Not nose-hair-yanker.'

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum.

You join us with the Wembley Wonders on a ten-second lifeline.

And the Fantastic Five have yet to score.

And there's plenty of time up for grabs as we play our next game.

But Brian's not happy,

and that's because during the break, there was an incident.

He was warming up for his humunchies eating world record attempt

by scoffing choccy gob biccies. Unfortunately,

he dropped a couple in his bowl of custard.

Careless.

Your job, teams, is to fish out the bits from the custard

and rebuild Brian's choccy biscuits as fast as you can.

The team that builds the first biscuit

-will win the five-second lifeline. All clear, teams?

-ALL: Yes, Des.

Oh, come on, Brian, this sulking won't get your world record attempt,

will it? Who's going into the bowl?

I want Janvi.

Hmm. You'd make a lovely pudding.

And I'll have Xander.

You look spicy.

And who's making the biscuit?

I'm going to go with Shania and Tara.

Look at all that lovely long hair. Hmm.

Chewy.

And Emily and Bradley.

Brian's made his choice. Teams, let's play.

Janvi and Xander, you will dive for the bits.

You will pass them to Tara and Bradley,

who pass them on to Shania and Emily, who make the biscuits.

Remember, you, the Wembley Wonders, you are milk choccy gobs,

and you, Fantastic Five, are white choccy gobs. Good luck.

The first team to make the biscuit

will win the five-second lifeline. Goggles on.

Three, two, one.

Go.

Janvi's straight in there.

Go on, get in that custard.

They're heavier than they look.

They're soaked in custard.

Xander's managed to get a piece out already.

Fantastic Five are ahead. They've got two pieces out.

Humunchies in custard. Lovely.

The clue's in the letters on top of the biscuit.

The Wembley Wonders get another piece onto the plate.

Shania, start putting that choccy gob together.

They've both got one piece to find.

Come on, pull out the biscuit.

Really put your back into it.

Tara, help her.

Get it onto the plate.

Yes, yes, yes. Nearly there.

-Xander's still looking for a bit.

-Come on, it's getting soggy.

The Wembley Wonders have got all their pieces on the plate

but they're having trouble putting it together.

It's neck and neck. It could be anybody's game.

Who will take the biscuit?

Whose cookie will crumble?

Fantastic Five reckon they've got it. It looks like it.

That's a five-second lifeline. Well done.

-Brian, are you happy?

-Hmm-mmm.

-Oh, good, I'm glad you're happy.

We're going to take a break.

Watch the ads carefully

because we'll be quizzing you on them when we get back.

You can play along at home.

Not that your life depends on it. Theirs does!

'Whoa there, Flaky! That dandruff's going everywhere.

'It's going to take all day to clear up that lot.

'You need the brand-new Waste Not Want Not dandruff-collector.

'Stylish and discreet,

'it allows you to scratch away to your heart's content.

'Just look at all those lovely flakes.

'I know what you're thinking -

'it would be a shame to waste them, wouldn't it?

'Well, here's the best part.

'Simply combine your dandruff with one sachet of Dandruff Delight

'and you've got a wonderful, tasty treat. Hmm! Flaky goodness!

'Waste Not Want Not dandruff-collector

'comes in a choice of three fabulous colours. Yours for only 39 grots.'

'Are you sick of all those minty-fresh toothpastes out there?

'I know I was.

'Then I discovered Cheesy Chops toothpaste

'and I've never looked back.

'Introducing Threesy Cheesy from Cheesy Chops,

'the new toothpaste your mouth will love.

'And with three stripes of the most stinky cheese,

'you can finally achieve the morning breath you've always wanted.

'Yellow cheese encourages plaque and tartar.

'Green cheese promotes rotting gums.

'And blue cheese guarantees horrible breath. Hmm.'

Three times the cheese, three times the decay, three times the stink.

'Cheesy Chops - it's a toothpaste revolution.'

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum. Now then, teams,

I hope you were watching those ads really carefully

as I'm about to quiz you. Give a correct answer,

you will get a two-second lifeline, and every second counts.

At this point, the Wembley Wonders, you have 10 seconds.

Fantastic Five, you have five seconds.

There's another 10 seconds up for grabs,

so fingers on your buzzers, as we play...

OK, your first question is, in Waste Not Want Not dandruff-collector ad,

a sachet of what is given free with every dandruff-collector?

-Wembley Wonders.

-A sachet of Dandruff Delight

is given with it, for free.

Let's see if that's right.

A sachet of Dandruff Delight is absolutely right.

Question two. How much does a dandruff-collector cost?

-Wembley Wonders.

-Again.

-39.

-99.

-No, 39!

39 grots - is that the correct answer?

It's spot on.

Well done. You've got another two seconds.

You guys need to get in on the buzzer. Question three.

Threesy Cheesy toothpaste contains three coloured cheeses.

-Fantastic five.

-Fantastic Five.

-There was blue, green, yellow.

-I only wanted two of them. Let's see.

Yellow, green and blue.

Yellow, green and blue. You got all three.

Question four. Which coloured cheese encourages plaque?

Fantastic Five.

-Um...

-I need an answer from you.

-Green.

-I'm going to hand that across because it's not right.

-Come on.

-No, it's yellow.

-Is it yellow? Let's have a look.

'Yellow cheese encourages plaque and tartar.'

Yes, you get another two seconds. Fantastic Five, you need seconds.

This is the last question.

Complete the giant's sentence.

"Three times the cheese, three times the decay..."

-Fantastic Five.

-Yes?

Three times the cheese, three times the decay...

-I need an answer.

-Three times the plaque and three times the gum.

The gum.

That's not quite right. I'll give it to you again.

Complete the giant's sentence. "Three times the cheese,

"three times the decay, three times the..." What?

-Bad breath?

-Let's have a look if you're right.

Three times the cheese, three times the decay, three times the stink.

-We were looking for "stink", so no seconds there.

-I knew that one.

So after that final question, the Wembley Wonders,

you got three right, which is six seconds. Well done.

Well done.

And the Fantastic Five, you got one right, which is two.

How does that affect your overall lifeline?

Let's find out.

After a word from Jim Elastic.

Thanks, Les. On today's Get Up And Go Go, I'm here at the London Eye,

where I'm going to be teaching you an old classic - push-ups.

Why don't you go to your nearest national monument

and join in with me. I'm Jim Elastic.

Join me after Fee Fi Fo Yum, right here on GTV.

And down and up. And down and up.

And down and up. And down and up.

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Brian, everything all right up there? You look a bit troubled.

I'm doing facial stretches.

Yeah, yeah. Well, perhaps you'd just like to keep it down a bit

because things are getting serious here. Teams, this is down to you.

Brian doesn't pick any more.

You have to decide who is going to take on the Great Escape.

Remember, Brian's going for a world record in eating humunchies

as fast as he can. Which team will he be gobbling up?

Don't forget, whoever steps up to the mark

has the fate of their team-mates in their hands.

Such a pressure.

TEAMS CONFER

OK, back out of your huddles. I need to know who's playing and why,

so, Wembley Wonders, Who's playing for you, and why?

Shania, as she's really fast, flexible and agile,

and we know that she can win our freedom.

-OK, Shania, do you reckon you can do it?

-Yeah.

-Yeah? Just that - "yeah".

OK, so the Fantastic Five. Who's playing for you, and why?

It's Bradley, because he's one of our strongest members,

and he is the second fastest. He will win us our freedom.

Who's the fastest, then? Bradley, do you think you're OK?

-Yep.

-Who do you think is the fastest, then?

-Liam.

Why didn't you go for Liam?

Because when we go through gunge, we need a stronger person.

-OK, so it's not just about speed.

-Hmm.

Tactics. OK, Shania and Bradley, it's time for...

The Great Escape!

This is it. Shania and Bradley, Brian has trapped your team-mates

in the scales of justice,

and their future hangs, literally, in the balance.

It's down to you two to try to release them.

But standing between you and them is the Great Escape.

First, you must tackle the Donut Dash.

Then it's on to the Kitchen Roll Crawl.

Watch out for those meatballs, though.

Once safely through, you will take on the Rolling Pin Run.

But look out, look out. Brian's got those tea bags out.

Next, you must complete the Choc Bar Challenge,

to build a walkway to Brian's big bowl.

Then it's up the slippery slope to the rope.

The player that gets to the top first must pull the release rope.

Only then can your team-mates escape down the Freedom Chute.

I don't need to remind you, the team that's not the winner

-will be Brian's...

-Dinner.

So, Wembley Wonders, you have an overall lifeline of 16 seconds.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Fantastic Five, you have an overall lifeline of seven seconds.

So that's nine seconds ahead, Shania. How do you feel about that?

-I feel confident.

-Good.

-And do you think, Bradley, you can catch up?

-I feel confident as well.

All right, Shania, you go on Brian's first whistle

and then, Bradley, nine seconds later, you go on his second whistle.

All right, teams, good luck. Brian?

And Shania's off, into the Donut Dash. She's doing well, not a trip.

She's into the Kitchen Roll Crawl.

Bradley, you're off.

See if you can catch up.

A little trip on the Donut Dash. That could cost you.

Shania is already up.

She's onto the Nan In A Cube. She's getting across.

She's avoided both of those tea bags.

She's got across. Wow! Amazing.

Bradley, you need to catch up.

Watch out for that first teabag.

Watch out for the second one.

-Oh, you have to go back.

-Gotcha.

Bradley's off again.

Oh, he's managed it.

A fall, but he managed to stay on,

and he's falling down, and now he's onto the Choc Bar Challenge.

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Well done, Shania.

Make sure you push it up. Don't let the foil get in the way.

The foil is just foiling you there, Shania.

It's in place, yes.

They're both going to get into the bowl at the same time.

Bradley's getting ahead. But he's slipping back.

Shania's just ahead.

She's managing to get up. Will she do it?

Amazing! What an amazing technique.

Like a crab, sideways up.

She's done it. Well done.

So that means, Bradley, you have to go back down. It's too late.

Freedom.

Bradley, come on down.

Oh, Bradley. You failed to release your team-mates.

-That means you're not the winner. Your Brian's...

-Dinner.

Sorry about that. Brian, over to you.

New world record, here we come.

Three, two, one, go.

Sorry, guys, rules are rules, and Brian's in the middle

-of that world record attempt. Here you go, Brian.

-Come here, you.

-Good luck, Brian.

-Agh!

That's it from Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Brian's eating that Fantastic Five fondue as fast as he can.

Join us next time on Fee Fi Fo Yum,

when we'll have two new teams of humunchies

hoping to stay out of Brian's tum and to get their freedom.

-OK, Brian. How's the record going?

-Finished, Des.

That has got to be a new world record.

Brilliant, Bri! So how long did it take you?

I'm not sure, actually.

Why are you not sure, actually?

I accidentally ate the stop watch.

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