Funny Smell Fee Fi Fo Yum

Giant Television proudly presents, Fee Fi Fo Yum!

Busy, busy!

Studio's finished, what next?

A showbiz star. Earth.

Welcome to Family Fun For You with me, Les Dennis.... Aargh!

-You can't grab me, I'm a gameshow host!

-I can!

Next, me munchies, yum, yum!

-What are you doing? You can't eat him!

-I can!

-Put him down!

-Watch me.

-I hate that giant!

-Now... It's Fee Fi Fo Yum!

And today's contestants, all the way from Newcastle Under Lyme.

It's the Loopy Leopards.

They'll be playing against the Brainiacs,

who have come from London.

Here's a taste of the thrills and spills

that stand between them and their freedom.

And now, here he is, every giant's favourite host,

it's Des... I mean, Les Dennis!

Yes, hello and welcome to Fee Fi Fo Yum,

the show where the team that's not the winner will end up as Brian's...

(ALL) Dinner!!!

And talking of dinner, I saw two giants earlier eating a clown.

One said to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

LAUGHTER

Thank you so much. Brian, did you like that one?

Brian? Did you like that joke, then?

He seems to be a bit preoccupied, sniffing away.

OK, let's get on with the show and meet the teams.

First of all, the Loopy Leopards!

APPLAUSE

-Hiya, Lettie.

-Hiya, Les!

-Hiya, how you doing?

-I feel fantastic!

-Great!

-Introduce us to your fantastic team.

-OK, it's Jacob.

-Hiya, Jacob.

-Hi, Les.

-Lindsay.

-Hi, Lindsay.

-Hi, Les!

-Alex.

-Hi, Alex.

-And Aisha.

-Hi, Aisha.

-Hi, Les.

-Why the "Loopy Leopards?"

-We're crazy!

-You're crazy?

-We think the name just sums us up as a team.

Lively livewires. OK, that's the Loopy Leopards,

let's go over and meet the Brainiacs!

APPLAUSE

-Hiya, Betty.

-Hiya, Les.

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'm feeling alive!

This is a very alive show, I like it.

-Introduce us to your team.

-This is Audrey.

-Hi, Audrey.

-Hi, Les.

-This is Jack P.

-Hi, Jack.

-Hiya, Les.

-Finlay.

-Hiya, Finlay.

-Hi, Les.

-And right on the end, Harvey.

-Hiya, Harvey.

-Hiya, Les.

Did you notice I said, "Hi, Jack?" Hijack! Hi, Jack!

I bet you get fed up with that, eh, Jack?

-Why are you called the Brainiacs?

-We're all clever in different things,

like Jack's clever at doing maths, Finlay's good at science,

and it just sums us up really, like their team sums them up.

OK, that's the teams.

And this is how we play Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Teams, you will compete in a series of games in order to earn time.

The more time you earn, the better chance you stand in our finale

at the end of the show, The Great Escape.

So, let's get this show on the road with the first game!

Now, humunchies are Brian's favourite food,

but when he can't get them, he loves meatballs and sprouts.

-Yum!

-He can't get enough of them.

Brian, it must be the meatballs and the sprouts that you can smell.

No, I don't think so. I like the smell of meatballs and sprouts.

Oh, I know what it could be.

Oh, Brian how many times have I told you,

you can't keep eating the crew, we'll have none left!

No, it's not that. Oh, well, waste not, want not.

Camera 4, could you just frame up on me, please? I'm over here.

All right, as I was saying, teams, when I was rudely interrupted...

-Brian loves sprouts and meatballs.

-Yum!

-Your aim in this game

is to feed him as many as you can, using the catapults

that Brian has made for you out of matchsticks and sticking plasters.

The team which feeds him the most

will win the first five-second lifeline,

but more importantly, take his mind off eating you for a while.

Brian, who's going to play?

For this game, I'm going to pick...

Alex...

and Lindsay. You look delicious!

And I want... Betty...

and Audrey.

Mmm! Chewy!

Brian's made his choice. Teams, let's play...

Loopy Leopards,

you'll fire meatballs, Brainiacs, you'll fire sprouts.

You have until Brian's egg timer runs out to feed him.

Brian, over to you.

Ready, steady, feed me!

OK, teams, that's it.

Fire as may of your foods as you can into Brian's gob.

Ooh, that was close!

Hit him right on the chin with that meatball.

Got that one in his hair!

-That's a meatball.

-Oh, come on!

If he was having trouble smelling before, he will be now!

So, the meatballs have it at the moment.

Oh, there goes a sprout! He's had one of each.

Oh, sprouts everywhere, meatballs all over the table.

Not that many in Brian's face so far.

Oh, there you go! He didn't even have time to swallow then.

And another sprout. The sprouts have got the idea of it now.

There they go! Meatballs, you need to catch up.

They're coming back here.

And another one.

-Time's up!

-We've got sprouts and meatballs

all over the table, but how many did he eat?

Brian, how many meatballs did you eat?

Two meatballs.

-Two. OK, and how many sprouts?

-Four.

Four sprouts!

So, Brainiacs, you get the first five-second lifeline.

Well done. We're going to take a break. I'm going to have

a meatball. I don't get anything, apart from Les's Tasty Challenge.

Join us in a couple of minutes

and find out which of our teams will end up in Brian's tum.

See you in a minute.

Feeling tired and in need of a boost?

Then you need Go Go Giant,

giving you the energy to get up and go-go...

and go-go and go-go!

Don't live in slo-mo, have some Go Go!

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum. At the end of the first game,

the Brainiacs leapt into the lead with a five-second advantage

over the Loopy Leopards. But it's still all to play for.

There's plenty of time up for grabs. What does time mean?

ALL: Freedom!

Because if the other team beat ya, Brian's going to...

ALL: Eat ya!

Yeah. And this is Brian's favourite part of the show. Isn't it, Brian?

Yes, it is, Des.

-Go on, then, introduce it.

-It's Des's Tasty Challenge.

Oh, no, it isn't! I've told you before, it's LES's Tasty Challenge.

Des's Tasty Challenge.

You know what, Audrey? I reckon that dodgy smell is Brian's B.O!

-Huh?

-Oh, Brian, I said I was thinking of changing my name to Leo.

Why would you want to do that? Des is a beautiful name.

OK, let's play Les's Tasty Challenge.

Now, then, teams, under this dish is a food that Brian has put there

and you have to guess how much of it I can eat in 30 seconds, all right?

Let's reveal the meal.

-Semolina. Soggy semolina.

-Yummy!

Oh, Fridays at school, cheese pie and semolina. I used to hate it.

So, how many spoonfuls of semolina can I eat in 30 seconds?

Put it down on your cards.

Brian, you knew that! I was always talking to you

about Fridays at school. It was semolina and the cheese pie.

I can't believe you!

You should've written that down. Don't let the opponents see.

Brian, can I have my light, please?

There's a gob of lovely jam in the middle there.

I might go for that as well. So, here we go.

30 seconds, starting now!

-Come on, Les!

-20 seconds.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one...

..time's up!

All gone! Oh, It came flooding back, Friday afternoons, double maths.

OK, teams.

How many did you guess that I could eat in 30 seconds?

-What did you think, Loopy Leopards?

-Seven.

Seven spoonfuls. And what about you, Brainiacs?

-We had 12.

-You had 12.

Well, Brian,

how many spoonfuls of semolina did I eat in the 30 seconds?

Des, you have eaten 13 spoonfuls of semolina.

13! So you're just one away

from getting another five-second lifeline.

They're running ahead, the Loopy Leopards. You've got to catch up.

We're going to take a break. Join us soon. One of our teams

will end up in Brian's tum. Who will it be? We'll see you soon.

I hated that!

New Stinks For Men,

in four haunting aromas -

cabbage, dung, cheese and sewage.

Cabbage!

Mmm, ladies love it!

Stinks. Armpit decay, all day!

'You're watching GTV. Back now to Les Dennis.'

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum... Oh! Brian,

leave it out, will you? That smells like cabbage.

YOU smell like cabbage.

-No, YOU smell like cabbage.

-YOU smell like cabbage.

-You, YOU stink of cabbage!

-YOU smell of cabbage!

-You stink...

-You smell of cabbage.

At this stage in the game, the Loopy Leopards have yet to score

and the Brainiacs have a 10-second lifeline. Well done.

There's plenty of time up for grabs as we play our next game.

Brian has placed into the lime jelly lots of fridge magnets.

Your job, teams, is to take them out and make a sum

that will add up to Brian's lucky number.

You can only take up to five at one time. If you don't like them,

-you can put them back. Is that clear, teams?

-Yes, Les!

Brian, what's your lucky number today?

My lucky number is... 31.

HE SNIFFS

Nice number, that, Brian.

Let's find out who's diving into the lime jelly.

I'm going to pick...

Jacob.

Mmm, you look appetising!

And I'll have Snack. I mean, Jack!

And who'll be making the sum?

Aisha and Lettie.

Yummy, yummy!

And I want Finlay...

..thinly spread on a piece of toast!

And Harvey.

Brian's made his choice, let's play...

Jacob and Jack, you're getting the numbers and symbols.

You'll pass them to Aisha and Harvey, who will pass them on

to Lettie and Finlay, who will make the sum.

Good luck, goggles on.

Ready, steady, go!

That's it, remember, we need the sum that adds up to 31,

it could add up, it could be a multiplication,

it could be a division.

Jelly numbers, mmm! Maybe it's the jelly that smelled.

Just get your numbers out and your symbols out.

What is that smell?

Remember, you can only have five out at one time.

If you don't like them, you can change them.

The Brainiacs reckon they've got it. So, tell us, guys, what is it?

Six times five is 30, plus one is 31.

Is that right, Brian?

Yes, well done and that is your lucky number too,

because you have another five-second lifeline.

Loopy Leopards, you didn't finish, but what were you going for?

We were going to do three times nine, which is 27,

plus four, which would be 31.

But you couldn't find the numbers, hard luck.

It means you really have to catch up, Loopy Leopards,

but we're going to have a break,

and you need to pay attention to these adverts on GTV,

because I'll be quizzing you after the break.

And remember, you at home can play along, too -

though your life won't depend on it!

Imagine a shampoo so soft, so gentle, so cheesy.

Imagine no more.

With natural cheese extracts,

Cheesy Chops shampoo leaves your hair soft and cheesy,

no matter how often you use it.

If you get it in your eyes, it doesn't sting,

-and if you get it in your mouth...

-Mmmm, cheesy!

Its unique cheesy formula constantly maintains

your hair's cheese levels from morning until evening.

Made purely of cheese.

Cheesy Chops - your hair will never feel better, or cheesier.

RUMBLING TUMMY

That sounds ominous, must have a big one brewing.

SHE FARTS

You can't do that in a lift!

-SHE FARTS AGAIN

-And that's even worse!

There's no escape, mate.

Unforgivable!

If only she was wearing a Guff Muffler.

Fitted in seconds, the Guff Muffler cuts out those gusset grumbles,

leaving you free to get on with what's important.

The Guff Muffler - putting you in control of your output.

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Were you watching and listening to those ads carefully?

Let's hope so, because I'm about to quiz you on them.

If you have an answer, then buzz in.

If it's correct, I will give you a two-second lifeline.

But be careful, if you give me an incorrect answer or hesitate,

I'll pass it over to your opponents.

At this stage in the game, Loopy Leopards,

you have no seconds as a lifeline,

so that means, Brainiacs, you must have 15 seconds!

-Well done!

-Well done!

Big difference, but you can catch up,

and this is your last chance, Loopy Leopards, to get some time.

All right, good luck, fingers on your buzzers, as we play...

So, let's see who's paying attention.

Question one - Cheesy Chops shampoo is made from what?

-Brainiacs?

-Cheese.

Cheese, is it? Let's have a look.

Made purely of cheese - Cheesy Chops.

-Cheese is the correct answer.

-That's an easy one!

That's my nightmare, and that giant definitely wasn't worth it.

Question two - according to the ad,

if Cheesy Chops shampoo gets in your eyes, it doesn't what?

-Sting!

-Let's see...

If you get it in your eyes, it doesn't sting.

Is the correct answer, well done!

You get your first two seconds, well done, Loopy Leopards.

Question three -

in the Guff Muffler ad, how many people were in the lift?

-Loopy Leopards.

-Four.

-Was it four?

Yes, it was! It was four, well done.

They're much cleverer than they look.

So, question four - which floor did the lift stop at?

Brainiacs?

-Ground floor.

-Was it the ground floor?

Yes, ground floor, you get another two.

-So, last question in this round...

-What a stupid question!

Complete the sentence -

Guff muffler, putting you in control of your what?

Brainiacs?

-Gas?

-I'm going to hand it across.

Complete the sentence -

the Guff Muffler, putting you in control of your what?

-Come on!

-I'm going to have to hurry you.

-Is it wind?

-Is it wind, Alex?

Let's have a look.

The Guff Muffler, putting you in control of your output.

Sorry about that, so that means you got two right,

which gives you four seconds.

And Brainiacs, you got two right, which gives you four seconds.

How will that affect your overall lifeline?

Let's find out...

after a word from Jim Elastic. And stretch!

-CREAKING

-Uh-oh!

Thanks, Les, loving the show.

Now, on today's Get Up And Go-Go, I'm here at Big Ben.

It's not a very big at all, it really isn't.

But I've got a wonderful routine for all you giants.

It's called the Big Ben Bounce.

So, join me, Jim Elastic, after Fee Fi Fo Yum

right here on GTV. Shall we have a little bounce now?

Come on, work with me, 5, 6, 7, 8...

And sidestep, bounce, bounce, bounce.

And sidestep... sorry, Prime Minister.

And sidestep, bounce, bounce,

and sidestep...get out the way! And sidestep...

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Things are getting serious, it's down to you do decide

who is going to take on the Great Escape.

This for both teams is the most important decision

they will face today. Whoever steps up to the mark

will have the fate of their team-mates in their hands.

GIANT LAUGHS

It's like a small campsite in here - too tense!

AUDIENCE GROANS

OK, teams, I need to know who's going to be facing the Great Escape.

Loopy Leopards, who's playing for you?

-Lettie.

-Why is that, Aisha?

Because she's going to get us our freedom.

That's who playing for Loopy Leopards,

who's playing for the Brainiacs?

Harvey's playing for us, because he's fast, he's clever,

he's strong, and he can balance very well and he'll get us our freedom.

Very confident from the Brainiacs.

OK, Lettie and Harvey, it's time for...

This is it.

Lettie and Harvey, Brian has trapped your team-mates

in the Scales Of Justice.

Their future hangs literally in the balance. It's down to you two

to try to free them, but standing between you and them

is the Great Escape.

First you must tackle the Doughnut Dash.

then it's on to the Kitchen Roll Crawl.

Watch out for those meatballs!

Once through, you will then take on the Rolling Pin Run,

but beware... Brian's got his teabags out.

Gotcha!

Then...

you will complete the Choc Bar Challenge,

building a walkway to Brian's big bowl.

Then it's up the Slippery Slope to the rope.

The player that gets to the top first must pull the Release Rope.

Only then can your team-mates escape down the Freedom Chute.

I don't need to remind you,

the team that's not the winner will be Brian's...

Dinner!

So, Loopy Leopards, you have an overall lifeline of four seconds.

And Brainiacs, you have an overall lifeline of 19 seconds,

so that gives you a 15-second lead. How do you feel about that, Harvey?

-Great.

-"Great!"

Man of few words, just the one, "Great".

How do you feel, Lettie? Can you catch up?

I think we could if we tried really hard but even if we do lose,

we're just in it to have fun and take part.

You might be in his stomach, how do you feel?

-I feel a bit nervous!

-A little bit nervous? OK.

Harvey, you will go on Brian's first whistle.

And then 15 seconds later, Lettie,

you will go on Brian's second whistle. Good luck.

Brian, it's over to you.

BRIAN SNIFFS

WHISTLE BLOWS

Run for your lives!

That's it, Harvey is off,

he's gone on the first whistle, but he's tripped.

He's going in now to the Kitchen Roll Crawl.

-WHISTLE BLOWS

-You're off! There you go, Lettie.

You can catch up. It has been done before.

Harvey's halfway across, he's actually across, first attempt.

He's gone across the Rolling Pin Run

straight into the Choc Bar Challenge.

Come on, Lettie, you need to catch up.

OK, Lettie, take your time. It's just important to get across.

Oh, well done, you avoided that... Brilliant, Lettie, wow!

You stopped that teabag from hitting you.

Harvey, you're nearly there, you've completed the Choc Bar Challenge.

Harvey, keep your hands dry so you can climb.

Keep your hands dry!

So you need to get up the Slippery Slope now, Harvey.

Lettie, you're not far behind.

Harvey's having difficulty, slipping and sliding.

This is where you could possibly catch up, Lettie.

-Lettie, come on!

-Come on, chop chop!

It's not as easy as it looks, this Slippery Slope,

because it does become exactly that, very slippery.

It looks like Lettie might have caught up.

Those 15 seconds seem so long ago now,

and there she is, she's in!

She's ahead in fact, she has caught up those 15 seconds.

She's on the Slippery Slope. They're both on the Slippery Slope.

She's back into the lime green jelly. Harvey's nearly at the top.

Can he get there... Oh, he's slid back in!

Lettie is going very carefully, but she's back in.

Lettie, Lettie, Lettie!

I'm starving!

Come on, go, come on!

Harvey's pulling back up. Lettie, you're just behind.

Come on!

-Your hands, don't stop.

-You can do it.

This is really tense, I'm getting tense. Brian's getting tense.

Harvey's nearly there.

If he can just reach that top, he will be there.

It looks like he's there...

-Harvey has reached the top!

-Yes!

-He's pulled the Release Rope!

It means the Brainiacs are free to go. Off you go, Brainiacs!

There you go, guys, you're off.

Quickly, before Brian changes his mind.

-Well done. Come on down the Freedom Chute.

-Freedom!

Brainiacs, well done. Oh, Lettie, you did so well,

you caught up that 15 seconds, didn't you?

What do you think let you down?

I think I wasn't really using the sides, I kept on slipping.

Never mind. You know what that means,

you've failed to release your team-mates

-so you're not the winner, you're Brian's...

-Dinner.

-I'm so sorry, Lettie, you were lovely.

-Come here, you!

Over to you, Brian.

SHE SCREAMS

Bad luck!

Sorry to lose you, Loopy Leopards, but rules is rules.

Fee Fi Fo Yum!

CRUNCHING

I'm going to enjoy you!

CRUNCHING

CRUNCHING

That's it from Fee Fi Fo Yum, Brian's tucking into his five-a-day,

but he'll be hungry again soon. Join us next time

when two teams of humunchies will fight for their freedom

and try to stay out of Brian's tum.

See you then. Say goodbye, Brian.

Goodbye, Brian.

So, Bri, did you ever figure out what that smell was?

Whatever it is, it's sickly-sweet, slightly cheesy

and it's really getting up my nose.

BRIAN SNIFFS Des, it's you!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd