Zit Blitzer Fee Fi Fo Yum

Giant Television proudly presents Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Izzy-busy! There, studio's finished.

What next?

A showbiz star.

Earth.

Welcome to Family Fun For You, with me, Les Dennis.

-Argh!

-You'll do.

-You can't grab me, I'm a game show host!

Next, humunchies, yum, yum!

-What you doing? What you doing? You can't eat him!

-I can!

-Put him down!

-Watch me!

I hate that giant!

Now, it's Fee Fi Fo Yum! And today's contestants,

all the way from London, it's the Shepherd's Bush Smoothies.

And they'll be playing against the Highgate Hot Dogs, also from London.

Here's a taste of the thrills and spills

that stand between them and their freedom.

And now, here he is,

every giant's favourite host,

it's Des, I mean, Les Dennis!

Hello and welcome to Fee Fi Fo Yum,

the show where the team that's not the winner

will be Brian's dinner!

We've got two great teams of humunchies

ready to do battle, because their freedom is at stake.

And here's the giant who loves his steak - it's Brian!

Excuse me, Brian, I don't like to ask,

but why've you got a bucket on your head?

I don't want to talk about it, Des.

Perhaps you should take it off, cos we're about to meet the teams.

OK, but I'm not looking my best.

Whoa!

No, no, Brian, honestly, you look spot on! Oh, sorry!

Awkward! All right, let's get on and meet the teams!

First of all, we meet the Shepherd's Bush Smoothies.

APPLAUSE

-Hi, Annabelle.

-Hi.

-How you doing?

-Very good.

-Introduce us to your team.

-This is Jerome.

-Hi, Les.

-Hiya, Jerome.

-Abigail.

-Hi, Les.

-Hi, Abigail.

-Frida.

-Hi, Les.

-Hi, Frida.

-And Injesh.

-Hiya, Les!

-Hi, Injesh.

Frida, that's nearly Freedom.

Do you reckon you'll get your freedom?

-Yes.

-And why have you called yourself the Smoothies?

Because we're full of goodness and we won't be eaten by Brian.

Oh! You hear that, Brian? That's the Shepherd's Bush Smoothies,

let's go and meet the Highgate Hot Dogs.

APPLAUSE

-Hi, Emma.

-Hiya, Les.

-Introduce us to the Hot Dogs.

-This is Alfie.

-Hiya, Les.

-Hi, Alfie.

-Clara.

-Hiya, Les.

-Hi, Clara.

-This is Andrew.

-Hi, Les.

-Hi, Andrew.

-And that's Sharukh.

-Hiya, Les.

-Hi, Sharukh.

Emma, tell me, why'd you call yourself the Hot Dogs?

-Cos we're hot and we're going to burn it up today!

-OK!

That's the Smoothies and the Hot Dogs! That's the teams!

And this is how we play Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Teams, you'll compete in a series of games in order to earn time.

The more time you earn, the better your chance

of winning The Great Escape at the end of the show. Is that clear?

ALL: Yes, Les!

So let's get on with zit - it! - and play the first game!

Now, Brian, once a month, usually on a Friday,

likes to have a chow mein from his local takeaway.

The problem is - he hates peas. Here, Brian, on me 'ead!

Yes! Great spot!

I mean, shot!

So your job, teams, in this game,

is to take the peas out of the chow mein

and put them onto the plates Brian that has provided,

with the chop sticks.

The team that takes the most peas out

will win the first five-second lifeline,

but more importantly, that chow mein

will take Brian's mind off eating you.

So, Brian, who's puss, puh, er, participating? Sorry!

I like the look of...

Jerome and Frida.

Bit of salt and pepper, and you'll be delicious.

And I want Emma and Andrew.

Yummy, yummy!

Brian's made his choice. Teams, let's play.

OK, teams, you have until Brian's egg timer runs out

to hit the spot - sorry, Brian! - with those peas. Brian, over to you.

Three, two, one, chop-chop!

And that's it, you're off. As many peas out of the container

and onto the plate as you possibly can.

Get the peas out!

Remember - a pea on the table and you're in trouble.

Oh, both close! Both teams going for it at the same time.

Oh, yes, it looks... Yes!

Oh, no!

Hard luck, Smoothies.

But the Hot Dogs have the first pea on a plate.

You've pea-d on the table! Ha-ha!

Oh, yes!

They are working as a team together.

-20 seconds.

-Just need to keep together with those chop sticks.

Give those peas a chance.

-Oh!

-Stop faffing about with those chop sticks!

Oh! Three to the Hot Dogs!

Three, two, one.

Time is up. OK, players, rejoin your teams.

And let's see.

So, the Shepherd's Bush Smoothies got two peas on a plate.

-Nice one.

-Which is good.

But the Highgate Hot Dogs got three peas on a plate!

Which means you get the first five-second lifeline,

but it's still all to play for.

We're going to take a break here on Fee Fi Fo Yum. Join us after this.

I'm going to take a pea.

'You're watching Giant Television. GTV!'

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Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum, where, at the end of the first game,

the High Gate Hot Dogs got a five-second lead

over the Smoothies, but there's plenty of time up for grabs,

-and what does time mean?

-ALL: Freedom!

Yes! This is Brian's favourite part of the show.

OK, Brian, would you like to introduce it?

It's Les's Tasty Challenge!

-It's

-Des's

-Tasty Challenge! No, I mean...

You were right, I was...

Ha-ha-ha! Too late! Gotcha, Des!

Abigail, if Brian doesn't want spots,

he should think about washing his face once in a while!

THEY LAUGH

What? You what?

I was just saying to Abigail that working with you makes me smile!

Aw, me too, Des!

Good! Does that mean you might

think about letting me off doing Les's Tasty Challenge today?

No.

OK, then! So, what culinary delight has Brian put under this dish?

Your job, teams, is to guess how much of this, by the spoonful,

I can eat in 30 seconds. So, let's reveal the meal!

-Spotted Dick. Brian!

-Yum!

You haven't really thought this one through, have you?

Right, teams, write down your guesses. Keep them to yourselves.

Brian, I quite like Spotted Dick. It's one of my favourite puddings.

But, looking at, it looks more Spotted Brian than Spotted Dick,

so it doesn't look very appetising.

I hope that's custard on it, as well!

THEY CONFER

OK, teams, out of your huddles.

You should've thought of your guesses now.

Have them written down, but don't show them.

Can I have my spotlight -

sorry, Brian, I didn't mean your spots, I meant spotlight,

please. Thank you.

Des, please.

OK, I have 30 seconds to eat as much Spotted Dick as possible,

starting...now!

20 seconds.

Ten, nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four, three, two, one.

Time's up!

You've started so you'll finish!

All gone!

Well, nearly all gone. So...

Teams, what were your guesses?

-Smoothies, what did you guess?

-We guessed four.

And what about you, the Hot Dogs?

-We guessed seven.

-Seven. How many mouthfuls did I eat?

Des, you have eaten nine mouthfuls of Spotted Dick and custard.

Nine! So, that means the Highgate Hot Dogs

are the nearest, with seven. They get a five-second lifeline!

Well done!

Well done! We're going to take a break.

One of our team of humunchies will end up in Brian's tum.

And all the Spotted Dick has ended up in mine. See you soon.

'GTV!'

SNORING

ALARM CLOCK

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Thank you! My very own Zit Blitzer!

Oh!

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum, where...

the Highgate Hot Dogs have a 10-0 lead

over the Shepherd's Bush Smoothies.

APPLAUSE

There's still plenty of time up for grabs as we play our next game.

Now Brian gets lonely up there in Giant Land...

Aaaah! Say "Aaaah" for Brian.

-ALL: Aaaah!

-Yeah.

So to keep him company,

he makes to make himself little buddies made of spuddies.

I won't lie to you, giants are a bit weird!

So, Brian, ready to play?

No! Not now Brian! We're about to play Chip Off The Old Block!

Oh, sorry, Des, hold on a sec...

Here he is!

So, Brian, what's his name today? Let me think...

-Bob?

-How did you know that?

Just a wild guess... Teams, say, "Hello, Bob."

ALL: Hello, Bob!

Hello, everybody!

Genius!

So, teams, all of Bob's bits are in the blancmange.

Your job is to get them out and recreate Bob.

The first team to do so will win the five second lifeline.

So, Brian, who's going into the bowl?

Eeny meeny miny mo, I think you should have a go.

Indigestion, I mean Injesh...

Hmm, you'd make a tasty starter.

And I'll have...Alfie.

Yum!

Who'll be making Bob?

I'll have you, Annabelle...

and Abby.

Hmm, and I'm going to pick...

Clara and Shar.

I'm going to scoff you down in one.

Brian's made his choice. Teams, let's play...

Injesh and Alfie, you'll dive for the bits,

you'll pass them to Annabelle and Clara, who will pass them on to

Abigail and Sharukh, who will make the Bobs.

Good luck. Goggles on.

Three, two, one. Dive!

And the boys are into the blancmange and looking for the bits.

Out comes a mouth for the Smoothies.

Out comes an eye for the Hot Dogs.

Remember, you must make Bob's identical twin.

If he's not exactly like Brian's Bob, you won't win.

He has to be Bob on - spot on. Sorry, Brian.

SHOUTING

It looks like the Smoothies have got an ear and an eye and a hat.

There's a nose. They're going very quickly.

And over here with the Hot Dogs,

I don't know what they've got.

The Smoothies are flying into the lead.

No. You haven't quite finished.

Annabelle thought they'd finished, but you haven't yet.

That's it, you put an arm on, and another. Wow!

I haven't seen a team play as quickly as this before.

'Shepherd's Bush Smoothies.'

The Smoothies reckon they have a completed Bob!

-Brian, is that Bob's identical twin?

-Yes. That's Bob!

-Well done.

That is a Fee Fi Fo Yum record for making Bob.

That means the five-second lifeline in this round goes to

-the Shepherd's Bush Smoothies!

-CHEERING

Highgate Hot Dogs, you were well off,

but you did get Bob's spotty nose. Just like Brian's. Sorry, Brian.

Time for us to take a break. Teams, watch the ads on GTV very carefully,

because I will be quizzing you on them.

You lot at home can play along too, not that your life depends upon it!

One of these teams is going to go!

# Medi Mallet! #

# Oooh... #

If a sore throat is preventing you from hitting those high notes,

-you need the all new and improved...

-# Medi Mallet! #

Simply hold the Medi Mallet at a 45-degree angle.

That's more like 34 degrees.

I'd say that's more like 55. That's about right.

And now apply firmly to the head.

# Woooooohaaaa-ooooh! #

There's that high note!

# Aaaaaaah! #

It won't cure your sore throat, but it'll sure take your mind off it!

-# Medi Mallet! #

-If symptoms persist, don't blame us.

Hey, Mr Giant, nice day, isn't it?

What's the matter?

Come on, take your hands away.

And the other one.

Now both at the same time...

Phwoar!

That's one hairy schnozzer, you big hairy freak show.

Don't be sad - help is at hand in the shape of the Waste Not Want Not

Nose Hair Yanker.

Apply the Yanker to the unwelcome hairy blockage, and off you go.

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Oh, yeah, that's got to feel good.

Don't waste all that lovely nose hair -

why not have it made into a fancy new hairdo?

Waste Not Want Not - the Waste Not Want Not Nose Hair Yanker.

105 grots, stocks limited.

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum.

I hope you were paying attention to those commercials, because

I'll ask you questions on them.

For a correct answer, you get a two-second lifeline.

-Currently, the Smoothies have a five-second lifeline.

-Well done!

The Highgate Hot Dogs have a ten-second lifeline.

CHEERING

But there's a possible ten seconds up for grabs as we play...

Fingers on the buzzers as I give you your starter for two. In the...

# Medi Mallet! #

..Sore Throat ad,

which type of musical note was the giant struggling to sing?

Shepherd's Bush Smoothies.

-Yes.

-High note.

-Was it? Let's have a look.

If a sore throat is preventing you from hitting those high notes...

Yes, you are right, well done. Two seconds to you.

Question two, at what angle should the Medi Mallet be held?

Highgate Hot Dogs.

-Hot Dogs.

-45.

-45 degrees. Let's have a look, see if you're right.

Simply hold the Medi Mallet at a 45-degree angle.

Yes, it is right, well done. You get two seconds.

Question three.

The giant was advised to apply the mallet firmly to the...?

Shepherd's Bush Smoothies.

-Smoothies.

-Nose.

-The nose.

You said nose, it's not the answer.

What about the Highgate Hot Dogs?

-Head.

-Was it the head? Let's have a look.

And now, apply firmly to the head.

Yes, it was, well done.

So, question four. In the Waste Not Want Not Nose Hair Yanker ad,

what did the giant turn his unwanted nose hair into?

Shepherd's Bush Smoothies.

-Hair!

-Let's see.

Don't waste all that lovely nose hair -

why not have it made into a fancy new hairdo?

Yes, a new hairdo! Last question in this round.

How much does a Waste Not Want Not Nose Hair Yanker...cost?

Shepherd's Bush Smoothies.

-The Smoothies again.

-£105.

-109 grots.

Can I have your final answer?

Yes, 105 grots.

105 grots, let's see if you're right.

Yes! You got there. Well done! You have a two-second lifeline there.

So, at the end of that round,

Shepherd's Bush Smoothies got three right - six seconds. Well done.

Highgate Hot Dogs, you got two right, which is four seconds.

How will that affect their overall lifelines? Let's find out.

After the weather from Windy Wendy.

Here's Giant Television's latest forecast,

brought to you by Bot Buster Beans - loved by giants everywhere.

Hello there. This is Windy Wendy Weathervane with your GTV weather.

I don't wish to spread panic or alarm.

But a hurricane is on the way.

I repeat - a hurricane is on the way.

I won't lie to you. This is going to be very unpleasant.

-Here it comes.

-SHE FARTS LOUDLY

-And that's your weather.

-SHE FARTS

I beg your pardon.

I wouldn't want you to see me with this on my face, Wendy, my sweet.

Zit Blitzer - work your magic.

Welcome back to Fee Fi Fo Yum!

Ooooh! Brian! Do you mind? Things are getting serious here,

and that is seriously disgusting.

Ooh, sorry, Des.

Ooh, it actually works.

Ohhh. This is down to you, teams.

Brian's not picking anymore, he's already picked.

You must decide who's going to take on The Great Escape.

This is really important.

Remember, Brian will be eating one of the teams at the end of the show.

-Yummy, yummy!

-So, like a butchers in Giant Land, the

-stakes

-are high.

THEY CONFER

OK, teams, out of your huddles, I need to know who's playing.

Smoothies, who's playing and why?

We've chosen Annabelle. She's the fastest runner

and she'll race us to freedom.

Annabelle, are you up to that challenge?

Yeah, I'm confident that we'll get our freedom and they'll get eaten.

Whoa, OK.

So, the Highgate Hot Dogs, who's playing for you and why?

Sharukh, because he has brains, agility and passion.

We know he's going to win our freedom.

-Sharukh, is that right?

-Yeah, I'm confident we can win.

OK. So, Annabelle and Sharukh, this is it, it's time for...

This is it, Annabelle and Sharukh.

Brian has trapped your team-mates in the Scales of Justice.

Their future hangs in the balance. It's down to you to release them.

Standing between you and them is the Great Escape!

-First you must tackle the Doughnut Dash.

-AUDIENCE:

-Wooo!

-Then it's on to the Kitchen Roll Crawl.

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

-But watch out for those meatballs.

-Aaaah!

Next, you must take on the Rolling Pin Run, but watch out,

Brian's got those teabags out.

Then you must complete

the Choc-Bar Challenge to build a walkway to Brian's big bowl.

Then it's up the slippery slope to the rope.

The player that gets to the top first must pull the release rope.

Only then can your team-mates escape down the freedom chute.

You don't need me to tell you,

-the team that's not the winner will be Brian's...

-Dinner!

Yes, so, Shepherd's Bush Smoothies,

you have an overall lifeline of 11 seconds. It's good.

And you, Highgate Hot Dogs, you have an overall lifeline of 14 seconds.

That's three seconds, Sharukh, as a lead.

-How do you feel about that?

-Um, good.

-Do you think you can do it?

-Yeah.

-OK. And you, Annabelle, do you think you can catch up?

-Yes!

Yes. Good, very firmly said.

So, you will go on Brian's first whistle.

Then, Annabelle, three seconds later,

you'll go on Brian's second whistle.

Good luck.

Brian, it's over to you.

HE BLOWS THE WHISTLE

Sharukh is off and into the Doughnut Dash. Whoa! Very quickly.

Annabelle is just behind him.

Catching up.

Sharukh had a little stumble, but he got through.

And he's through the Kitchen Roll Crawl. So is Annabelle.

-Oh! Sharukh's fallen off!

-You're no good at this.

Annabelle's caught up that three seconds,

she's already across and onto the Choc-Bar Challenge.

Sharukh's managed to get across. Whoa! What a great little run there.

This is anybody's game.

This is complicated.

Working out how it works.

-Come on!

-Go!

Remember, you must get this jigsaw together,

to get into Brian's big bowl.

That will provide you with the walkway -

the bridge across into the blancmange.

And it's quite close.

I'm starving, Des.

Got to have my five a day.

Yay! Yes!

And it looks like Sharukh is one piece away.

Then Annabelle's only two away.

Go, Shar! Come on!

Sharukh's nearly completed. It must be complete.

There you go, you're up and you're in.

To the bowl of blancmange.

Very carefully - well done.

And Annabelle's just behind him.

Oh, and she's got very messy on the hands, so that will be

quite a hindrance for her to get up this slippery slope.

Sharukh is in exactly the same boat.

Or in the same blancmange. Smoothies versus Hot Dogs.

And it is anybody's game.

Brian doesn't mind who he eats.

He doesn't mind if it's Smoothies or Hot Dogs. He likes them both.

BRIAN LAUGHS

Where else can you see action like this? Only on Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Annabelle's fallen in again. Hot Dogs and Smoothies.

Looks like the Smoothies just have the slippery slope in their grasp.

It looks like Annabelle might make it to the top

before the Hot Dogs, before Sharukh makes it.

Is she going to do it?

Sharukh is just behind.

Brian's licking his lips.

Might be Smoothies.

It might be Hot Dogs.

Wait a minute!

They're both there!

They both pulled at exactly the same time! Which means It's a draw!

And it means that everybody's getting away. Off you go!

Oh, no! No!

Brian's going without any supper tonight.

Ha, ha! Brian, look at your face.

Oh, no! What am I going to do?

Oh, no! Come back!

This is the beginning of your diet.

See you, teams. Bye!

Brian! Ha, ha!

-Look at your face!

-That's my dinner!

That's it from Fee Fi Fo Yum.

Unbelievable scenes here.

Brian goes to be without any supper.

He's going to be hungrier than ever next time.

So join us when one of our two teams of humunchies may or may not

end up in his tum.

See you then. Say goodbye, Brian.

Oh, maybe I could have you for dinner tonight then, Des.

Don't even think about it.

Heh, heh!

Yum, yum. Oh, not bad!

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