Episode 19 Gigglebiz


Episode 19

Sketch show. Farmer Dung tries to teach his assistant Reggie about grass feeds, and homely cook Dina Lady has an unusual take on making curry. Plus Arthur Sleep and the Gigglekids.


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Transcript


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# Na-na, na-na, na-na, Gigglebiz

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# Na-na, na-na, ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na, na-na, na-na, Gigglebiz

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# Na-na, na-na, here we go! #

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Ho-ho!

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Coming up on Gigglebiz, DIY Dan,

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Dina Lady,

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Farmer Dung,

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Captain Adorable

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and Ann Teak!

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Hello! I'm Ann Teak and I'm here at the auction. How exciting!

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Now, an auction is a place

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where people come to buy and sell old things.

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Simon, here, is the auctioneer.

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He's in charge of it all.

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Now tell me, Simon,

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how many of these old things would you like to own?

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-Lots.

-Oh!

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Naughty, silly Simon. Can't blame you, though...

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Uh, no, Ann, the things for sale in an auction are called lots.

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Yes, I do know that, Simon.

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I am the expert.

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Well, that vase, there, that is a lot.

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-You mean, one vase is a lot?!

-I thought you were an expert.

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I am, Simon, I am.

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Well, this vase is lot 3.

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Ah... I see...

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I think he's gone mad.

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He thinks three is a lot!

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Ten is a lot,

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not three! Silly Simon! Moving on...

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Today we're going to hang a mirror.

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Putting a mirror on the wall really couldn't be simpler.

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First place an X on the wall.

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The best thing for this is a pencil.

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Use that to make a small mark on the wall.

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Once you're happy with where the mirror is,

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you're ready to put a good, strong nail into the wall.

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Then simply hang your mirror on the wall.

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There you go, one mirror nicely put up.

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Now when you go out, you'll be able to look in the mirror!

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There'll be no excuses for not looking your best now!

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It really doesn't need to be difficult.

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Job done!

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And now it's time for your giggles!

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

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You're looking sharp today!

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Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I got the point!

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Going, going, gone! Sold to the lady in the black and white scarf.

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Ladies and gentlemen, we have a beautiful item for sale.

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-It's a very rare collection of china...

-I've been to China!

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I'm the expert.

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Leave it to me. Hello.

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Now, look at this beautiful 22-piece dinner set.

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It's very, very old, yes.

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And worth a huge amount of money.

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Oh, and it's very good.

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I use one of these plates at lunchtime,

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to eat my jam and anchovy sandwich.

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So, shall we get started?

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Who will give me £100 to start the bidding

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for this beautiful 22-piece dinner set?

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£100, £100, £200, £200, £300, £300, £400, £400,

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£500, £500, £600, £600, £700, £700,

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£800, £800, £800, £900, £900,

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sold for £1,000 to the man at the back

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going, going...

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Oh! Gone! Ha-ha...

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Well, this beautiful 22-piece dinner set is now a, um...

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SHE COUNTS

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..a 79-piece dinner set.

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You can invite more of your friends around for tea.

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Well done.

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Um, moving on!

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Hello, I'm Arthur Sleep and welcome to the programme.

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What's green and round and goes up and down all day?

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A pea stuck in a lift.

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And now this.

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It was the start of another peaceful day

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in the sleepy little town of Wiggyville.

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All was calm. But things wouldn't stay the same for long...

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Oh, dear. What a nuisance.

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I've forgotten my bucket.

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No bucket? Well, a bucket's the most important tool a window cleaner has.

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I must make an announcement.

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Citizens of Wiggyville, I...

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Is this thing on?

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I fear not, sir.

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Would you fix this microphone, QT?

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Bottom, do the Adore Mobile!

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Ah...

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It's still being mended after your last trip.

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Bottom, is my supersonic power bike available?

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It's at the back of the shed, sir.

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Ah-ha! To the power bike!

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Like a speeding bullet, I will use my supersonic power bike...

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TING!

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..to find that bucket.

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Sir, like a push?

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I can't hear you, I'm travelling at the speed of sound.

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Careful, sir, travelling that speed by foot can be very dangerous.

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Speed of sound!

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SCREECHING

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Thanks for letting me borrow the bucket, Mrs Callaghan.

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My bucket detector is switched on...

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and it's indicating a bucket around the area.

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Hmm, getting a faint reading...

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No, nothing yet...

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I think I might...

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Ah-ha! There it is!

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The old bucket detector needs new batteries, QT.

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Now, where is the window cleaner?

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Um, he's up there, Captain Adorable.

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-Away!

-Captain Adorable...!

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Hmm... No sign of the window cleaner.

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I think I'll use my new laser-vision goggles.

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Odd - Wiggyville seems strangely yellow today.

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And there's no sign of the window cleaner.

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Perhaps we should go home.

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Nonsense, QT. If there's no window cleaner,

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that means that we shall clean every window in Wiggyville.

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Away!

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-And don't forget the bucket.

-Yes, sir.

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This could get messy, Bottom.

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Yes...I knew it was that way...

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Ah-ha!

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A ladder, perfect.

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To work!

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Thanks for the bucket, Mrs Callaghan,

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I'll take care of this one.

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Where's my ladder gone?!

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Put the bucket down there, Bottom.

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Now, let's see...

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Strange... I'm sure I put a bucket down there. Hmm...

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Away!

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Ah-ha!

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Just the thing!

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Thanks for the ladders. I'll get them back to you as...

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Where's my bucket gone?!

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Ha... Huh...? Ah, squeegee, Bottom.

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Oh, there's my ladder.

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Huh? My bucket!

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-My ladder! Away...

-I think this could take a while.

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Ah-ha! That's my ladder!

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-Cup of tea?

-Definitely.

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-That's my bucket!

-Get off my ladder!

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-That's my squeegee!

-That is not your squeegee!

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Give me my squeegee...

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Did you eat that last cookie out of the cookie jar?

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I'll find out, you know. You know I will, don't you?

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Oh, hello, there, my little spice racks,

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and welcome to Dinner Time with me, Dina Lady.

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Oh! And my assistant Tommy Tummy.

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Say hello, Tommy.

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Hello, Tommy.

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Now, today we're going to be making a curry, ooh!

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But it's not any old curry, it's a special one.

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It's a Thai curry.

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Now, I've prepared the basic sauce already.

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All I need is a tie to go in it.

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Don't I, Tommy?

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I don't think it's called a Thai curry cos it has ties in it.

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I beg your pudding?

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It's a Thai curry cos they eat it in Thailand.

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Thailand is a country far away in the east.

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And if something's from Thailand, we say it's Thai.

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Where did you get that board from? Silly boy.

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Nice, though.

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But it doesn't have ties in it, like this.

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Oh, Tommy, just give me your tie.

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-I need it for my curry.

-But that's my favourite tie.

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In it goes.

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There! All you need to do is give it a big stir...

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Like so...

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And there you have it - one tie curry.

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Easy as pie.

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See you next time, my little sugar cubes.

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Now it's time for more of your giggles!

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-Knock, knock.

-Who's there?

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-I am.

-I am who?

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You don't know who you are?!

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Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! I get it!

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-Hello, Farmer Dung.

-Oh, eh, 'ello, way, ee, oo, eh.

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-Are you going to tell us about these apples?

-Ooh.

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Eh!

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Has he taken one of your apples?

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Eh... Eh!

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Is he not allowed to eat the apples?

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Eh. He-hey!

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I don't understand, Farmer Dung, why aren't you telling...?

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Hey! Hey!

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Thank you, Farmer Dung.

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go

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# Cheerio, ta-ta, bye-bye

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# Farewell, TTFN

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Na-na, na-na, na-na, Gigglebiz

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# Na-na, na-na, ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na, na-na, na-na, Gigglebiz

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# Na-na-na it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

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E-mail [email protected]

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Sketch show. Featuring Farmer Dung, who tries to show his assistant Reggie all about grass feeds, Wiggyville's resident superhero, Captain Adorable, makes the world a better place by cleaning windows and homely cook Dina Lady has an unusual take on how to make a curry.

Ann Teak shows how auctions work, TV's most accident-prone handyman, DIY Dan, tries to put up a mirror and Arthur Sleep has more of his terrible jokes. Including the Gigglekids, children from all round the country who tell Justin their favourite jokes.


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