Episode 23 Gigglebiz


Episode 23

Sketch show. Featuring Professor Muddles, who embarks on a scientific study in the dark, while King Flannel tries to escape his butler's dancing lessons.


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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

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Ho-ho!

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Coming up on Gigglebiz...

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Gail Force,

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King Flannel,

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Professor Muddles,

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Farmer Dung

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and The Lost Pirate!

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No, Cap'n Squawk. That doesn't look like a treasure island to me.

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Ow! Oh, curses!

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We're run aground!

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Hey, what be this?

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People with white shirts on?!

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I see ropes. We must be amongst sailors.

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Maybe they know where the dread pirate Whitebeard is. Ha-har!

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He'll lead us to the lost treasure! Come on!

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Oh! Hurry up, Cap'n Squawk! No time to lose! ..Oh...

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Ah-har! Ah-har!

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GIRLS LAUGH

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Ahoy there, shipmates! Will you help me in my journey

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-to find the dread pirate Whitebeard? ALL:

-Aye-aye!

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Ha-har! Arr, good, yes.

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Rope - we need this for our voyage.

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Hang on a minute...

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GIRLS LAUGH

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Look at that knot! That'll hold the ship's sails in the strongest gale!

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Ha-har! WHISTLE BLOWS

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Sounds like...a lost ship!

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Maybe it's the dread pirate Whitebeard!

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Come on, shipmates - let's go! Ha-har!

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MUSIC AND APPLAUSE

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CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS

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-ALL:

-Hey!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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Hey!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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Now, did you scrump those cooking apples?

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I'll find out, you know! You know I will,

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you little cheeky monkey.

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Oh! Hello there, my little spice racks!

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And welcome to Dinner Time

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with me, Dina Lady.

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Ooh, and this is my assistant, Tommy Tummy.

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Say hello, Tommy.

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Hello, Tommy!

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Now, today we're going to be talking about cake.

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And here's one I made earlier, but it's not quite finished yet,

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is it, Tommy?

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No, because it needs icing. Once it's iced,

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ooh, it'll yummy, scrummy for our tummies.

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And Tommy's going to tell us how to do that.

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Tommy?

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Oh, right!

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Well, first of all, you take your icing sugar. You add a bit of water.

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-Tommy!

-Then you take your cake...

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No, no, no, my little demerara!

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No, no, no, no, no!

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We're talking about icing. Ice is cold. Brrr!

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-You get it from a freezer.

-This is a different type of icing.

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Oh, Tommy, give that here!

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Silly boy!

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Nice, though.

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Now, if you want your cake iced nice,

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you need to pop it in the freezer,

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don't you?

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Over we go.

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Here we are.

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Pop it in. Oh, and here's one I made earlier.

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Ooh! Look at that!

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Over we go.

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There!

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Nice and icy.

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Oh, just have a taste of this.

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Oh...

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RATTLING

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Easy as p-p-pie!

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See you next time, my little sugar c-c-cubes!

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And now it's time for your giggles!

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Why did the orange stop rolling down the road?

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I don't know. Why DID the orange stop rolling down the road?

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-Cos it ran out of juice.

-Ha-ha! That was a juicy joke!

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NAUTICAL MUSIC PLAYS

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Ah-har!

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This looks like it's the place, Cap'n Squawk!

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Tread carefully.

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A-hem! Excuse me, missy!

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Cap'n Squawk and I are looking for me buried treasure. Ha-har!

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Do you know where I can find the dread pirate Whitebeard?

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-That's enough from you. Sit down, please, like everyone else.

-Eh?

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Today, we'll look at geography. This is a map.

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D'oh! A treasure map?!

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Er, no, it's a map of the United Kingdom.

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Har! A kingdom, you say? Ha-har!

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A map leading to the pirate kingdom of the treasure! Haha-har!

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I takes that! Hahaha-har!

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You'll have to sit down!

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Yes, I know your game. You're working with the dread pirate Whitebeard.

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-Hmm! You're gonna takes me buried treasure!

-I'm trying to teach

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-a lesson.

-I teach YOU a lesson, missy!

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I'll makes you walk the plank! Yeah!

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If you do that, I'll make YOU stand in the corner.

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Oh! Shiver me timbers, Cap'n Squawk.

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She's going to make me stand in the corner!

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Oh, dear! I'd best be good and sit down.

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Ooh!

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Ooh!

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HE SNORES Yes, I'll have a pound of oranges

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and a packet of crisps.

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Oh, hello there.

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I'm Arthur Sleep, and here's the news.

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What do you call an owl that robs from the rich

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and gives to the poor?

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Robin Hoot.

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Get it? Hoot!

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And now this...

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Yes, I HAVE brought them. ..Yes, I WILL bring them round.

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BURBLING ON PHONE But...

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Hello? Oh!

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Hello there.

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I'm Professor Muddles. Now, the big question we ask ourselves today is

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can we see in the dark?

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Well, I've invented these special goggles which will make me

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able to see in the park...

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I mean, the dark.

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Right. I just have to switch goggles on...like so.

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WHIRRING Ah.

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There we are. And switch the lights off.

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Like so.

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And now I can freely walk around my lab as if it were broad daylight.

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CRASH!

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CLATTER!

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MIAOW!

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Ah, that's better.

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Well... Ah.

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HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY A-hem.

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Well, we definitely have learned something here today.

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We can't see in the dark.

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I'm Professor Piddles... Uh, I mean Puddles...

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I mean Muddles. Goodbye!

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Ugh! Help!

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Oh, hello there.

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I'm Arthur Sleep, and here's the news.

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What do you give to a sick pig?

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Oink-ment!

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Oink-ment! More news later on.

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It's no good, Cap'n Squawk. We still haven't found my buried treasure

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and we still haven't found the dread pirate Whitebeard.

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Pirate!

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Stop talking and look at the whiteboard.

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-Whitebeard?! Where is Whitebeard?

-The white-BOARD.

-White...beard.

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-LAUGHTER

-It's not a beard - it's a board.

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Aboard?! Of course! All aboard, everyone!

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No time to stay ashore, land-lubbers.

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We've got my treasure to find! Oo-aar!

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And now it's time for more of your giggles.

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bee.

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Buzz off!

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Ha-ha-ha, that's "show-BUZZ-ness".

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SEDATE CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

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HE GRUNTS

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Er-er-er, yes.

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INDISTINCT MUTTERING

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He-he-ho-ha!

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MUSIC STOPS

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DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

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CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

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DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

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DANCE MUSIC STOPS Oh!

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CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS Eugh!

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INDISTINCT MUMBLING

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KNOCK ON DOOR

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DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

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I'm Arthur Sleep, and this is the news.

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Reports coming in from local policeman PC Jack B Nimble.

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A bear, eating a pear, and a hare called Clare,

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were seen at the fair. They gave the mayor a scare,

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and needless to say, beware and take plenty of care.

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Well, if you're there.

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Now, a local news report with Gail Force...

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of course.

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Thank you, Arthur.

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Hello, I'm Gail Force

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and I'm here at the launch of the new Super Whiz Fizz Drink.

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POP!

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Hooray!

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Liz, you came up with the new Super Whiz Fizz drink.

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I have noticed there's a label on the side of the can.

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What does this mean?

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That is a reminder not to shake the can before opening

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as fizzy drinks can go everywhere.

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Oh, of course. Wise words.

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Well, I'll be sure not to shake it like this.

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I'd certainly rather drink it than shake it like this.

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Yes.

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Oh, thank you very much.

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GAIL SCREAMS

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Oh! A-hem!

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Back to the studio.

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HE SNORES

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Ay-ye-ah! A-hem!

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A-hem!

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Hello, Farmer Dung.

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INDECIPHERABLE SPEECH

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Today, Farmer Dung, could you show us some horse?

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INDECIPHERABLE SPEECH

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HE NEIGHS

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Yes, that's the noise horses make.

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Do you have any horses?

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INDECIPHERABLE SPEECH

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HE NEIGHS AND WHINNIES

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In fact, I can hear horses now.

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We'd love to see them.

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Oh, eh, yeah...

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INDECIPHERABLE SPEECH

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Are they sugar lumps?

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Horses love sugar lumps, don't they?

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INDECIPHERABLE SPEECH

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INDECIPHERABLE SPEECH

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Farmer Dung, I don't see any horses.

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INDECIPHERABLE SPEECH

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Farmer Dung, I though you had horses!

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INDECIPHERABLE SPEECH

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MAN MAKES CLIPPETY-CLOP NOISES

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Thank you, Farmer Dung.

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

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# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

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# Farwell, TTFN Arrivederci

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na It's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

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Ho-ho!

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Sketch show. Featuring Professor Muddles, who embarks on a major scientific study in the dark, while mischievous monarch King Flannel does everything he can to escape his butler's dancing lessons, Dina Lady does her own interpretation of an iced bun and sailor of the seven seas, the Lost Pirate is all washed up in a school playground.

Also with the Berito Brothers, famed acrobats of yesteryear, who go through their paces with troublesome laces, Gail Force reports on the launch of an exciting new fizzy drink, and Farmer Dung - does anyone know what he's saying? Only Reggie, his cheeky farmhand! Arthur Sleep is a newsreader with the worst jokes in the world, and the Gigglekids are children from all round the country who tell Justin their favourite jokes.


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