Episode 12 Gigglebiz

It's Gigglebiz!

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

Ho-ho!

On today's Gigglebiz, The Lost Pirate!

Gail Force!

Opera Oliver!

Arthur Sleep!

And here's Rapids Johnson.

Mmmm - Wine Gums for emergencies. Now, what else?

Oh, hello! Rapids Johnson here,

in search of the big brown Bulgarian bear.

But I've taken some time out to come to the supermarket

to stock up for my next expedition.

There's no chance of seeing the bear here. They don't like bright lights,

supermarkets or generally people shopping.

You see, they're out in the wild

collecting food for their family at the moment. Now, what else do I need?

Oh, yes! Wheaty Flakes - my favourite. Um... Ah-ha! There's some!

Yummy!

But don't you worry - I'll find the big brown Bulgarian bear,

-or my name's not Rapids...

-Johnson.

-Thank you! Keep 'em peeled!

It's time for The Lost Pirate.

ALL: Har-har! THEY LAUGH

Har-har! A thousand thanks, my old barnacle.

Well, Captain Squawk, what do you think?

I got a new eye patch for my eye! Where are you? Oh, there you are!

And it must have been my lucky day -

buy one eye patch and get a second one free!

Look at that! Who's a pretty boy?

Aye-aye, captain! Get it? Eye-eye?

Har-har! Come on, let's go and find that treasure. Right!

Oooh! Man overboard!

Captain Squawk, I can't see where anyone is!

-Hello, Farmer Dung.

-Oh! Hello, there. You all right?

Have you got some animals to show us?

Oh, yeah! I've got some animals to show you.

He's lovely. Is that a new rabbit?

No! That's not a rabbit!

Are you sure? It looks like a rabbit.

Well, he does look like a rabbit, don't he?

No, he's my new hare.

Oh, so this is your new hare, is it, Farmer Dung?

That's right. My new hare.

Reggie's got new hare, too.

Reg, come here. Show us your new hare.

There you go. See? This is my new hare,

and that's Reggie's new hair. Get it?

New hare. New hair!

THEY LAUGH

Reg! Oh, you...! He cracks me up.

He don't get it. He just wants his food. Ha-ha!

My word! I thought you were going to get purple hair.

Thank you, Farmer Dung.

Doctor Doctor will see you now!

Next!

Now, how can I help you?

Doctor Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.

Well, sit on the couch and we'll talk about it.

-I'm not allowed up on the couch!

-Oi! Next!

So I said to Hugh, "Fine words but they're no parsnips."

I said, "Go on, go and feed the chickens

"and stop getting under my feet."

Oh! Hello, there, my little tikka masalas.

And welcome to Dinner Time with me, Dina Lady.

And this is my assistant, Tommy Tummy.

-Say hello, Tommy.

-Hello, Tommy!

Now today, we're going to make a special kind of sandwich.

-It's called a club sandwich.

-Yay!

All right, Tom, hold it together.

I've got some ingredients here. I've got my two slices of bread ready.

I just need my club filling. I won't be a mo, Tom.

Hold the fort, won't you?

It's called a club sandwich, but it actually contains chicken,

bacon, tomato and lettuce. Not a golf club or anything silly like that.

There we are. Now, I've decided to use a three iron,

but you can use a driver or a putter if you want.

Dina, I don't think you use a real golf club.

Course you do, Tom! I don't know...

And there's plenty of iron in it, too.

Nice boy. Daft, though.

Now, simply place your club in between the two slices of bread,

and there you have it.

One club sandwich. Easy as pie.

Till next time, my little hole in ones!

There you go, Tom. Enjoy.

I'll go and get the tea caddy, shall I?

Away, bairns, Keith Fit here, doing a spot of goalkeeping.

Now, to be a champion goalkeeper, you have to stay focused at all times.

And you need a pair of champion goalkeeping gloves, like these.

OK, bairns, now, as you know, I've been goalkeeping for over 20 year

and I've never let one in.

Right, watch and learn, bairns. Watch and learn.

OK. Would you... I can do that one! No! I would...

And that's how you become a champion goalkeeper.

And now it's time for your Giggles!

-Hey, Justin.

-Hey, Nick. Have you got a joke?

-Yeah.

Great, he's got a joke. OK, what is it?

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

I don't know, what did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.

THEY LAUGH

What's on the menu today? Let's find out, with Opera Oliver.

APPLAUSE

-# I'm Opera Oliver!

-Opera Oliver! #

# We're waiting for our grub

# We're hungry for our nosh

# I know that they are waiting, but I am waiting, too

# Because I am a waiter who is a-posh

-# I'd like to have my fish!

-Where did I put that dish?

-# I've waited for an hour

-Ah, bueno, here's the flour

-# I ordered soup

-It's on its way

-# Starting to droop

-OK, OK

-# We want our food!

-Well, don't be rude

# We're hungry, we're starving, she's going to faint! #

SHE GROANS

-# Here's your spaghetti with jam

-Ugh

-# And meatballs with ice cream and ham

-Ugh

# A delicious pizza with a cherry on the top

# And I think you ordered a sausage lollipop

# This is incredible, it is inedible

# You silly, silly, silly, silly man

# I do the best I can! #

Come on, Daphne, it's not good enough.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, hello! How nice to meet you. Sit yourself down, have a little rest.

I've got to sit here, of course, as usual, while he fishes.

Ho! SHE LAUGHS

I don't know why he bothers. He never catches anything. Nothing at all.

But at least he's out of harm's way. At least I know where he is.

I like to keep my eye on him.

At the end of the day, it makes him happy. That's what it's all about.

He's out in the open in the fresh air,

not getting into any trouble or mischief. I get time to myself.

You know, you never catch anything round here.

Like I say, never catches anything. Do you, love?

Bless.

Ha-ha. Do you knit?

Look, I'll show you.

See?

Doctor Doctor will see you now!

Next!

-Now, how can I help you?

-Doctor Doctor, I think I'm a bridge.

Hmmm. What's come over you?

Two cars, a lorry and a coach.

Ha-ha-hoi! Next!

All right, bairns, Keith Fit here, doing another spot of goalkeeping.

All right. Now, to be a champion goalkeeper, the golden rule is,

never take your eye off the ball.

OK? Remain focused at all times.

-You right, Keith?

-Hey! All right, Kevin. How's it going?

-Good.

-How are the bairns?

-Good.

-Oh, good to see you, man. Great guy.

And that's how you become a champion goalkeeper.

Oh, that's lovely, yes. Bangers and mash are lovely.

All right, I'll see you at six. All right. Bye, Mum.

Oh! Sorry about that. I'm Arthur Sleep and here's the news.

In the village of Little Bottom, the residents can't stop sneezing.

We've sent our top reporter, Gail Force,

to see if she can get to the bottom of this. Get it? Top and bottom!

-HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

-Oh, all right. Gail, over to you.

Thank you, Arthur. Yes, hello, I'm here in the village of Little Bottom

where there's been a recent bout of sneezing.

I'm here with two of the villagers. This is Mary and John.

That's Mary and that's John.

John, when did the sneezing first start?

Oh, no... HE SNEEZES

Oh! Oh, dear. That's not very good, is it, John?

Don't worry, don't speak. There's no need for words.

Mary, how many times a day would you...

SHE SNEEZES

Would you say... Three. Three sneezes.

Oh, dear. I'm sorry, Gregor, it's gone over the mic.

Well, on a positive note, at least I haven't been affected.

This is Gail...

SHE STARTS TO SNEEZE

Ah-ch-ch... Oh. That was close. Back to the studio.

SHE SNEEZES VIOLENTLY

Now, for more of your Giggles!

Why did the boy eat his homework?

I don't know, why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.

THEY LAUGH

Professor's diary, six o'clock. The experiment to make gold has failed

and we made mud instead.

Oh! Ha-ha! HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Hello, I'm Professor Muddles. Oh, there you are.

I'm Professor Middles. I mean, Muddles.

Today, we're going to be testing a special invisible ink -

an ink that writes things that we can't see at all. Ha-ha!

And here it is. Oh, that's not it. Oh, yes, here it is.

Now, I've taken this pen and filled it with invisible ink.

Now the pen is invincible. I mean, Dunstable. I mean, invisible.

Didn't see that coming. I can't see it at all!

And then I wrote a letter on some paper. And now, of course,

the paper is invisible. Oh, dear. I wonder where it is.

It could be down here. I'll just have a look. No. Is it up there?

Argh! Oh, dear! I seem to have spilled the invisible ink over me.

Oh, no! Now I'm turning invisible! You see? Oh, no! You can't see!

In conclusion, the invisible ink does, in fact, work.

You see that? Oh, no, you can't see. I'm Professor Muddles.

Help! I can't see a thing. Goodbye! Wow!

Ready, teddy, go! It's Rapids Johnson.

Hello! Rapids Johnson here, taking a bit of time off from my search

for the big brown Bulgarian bear.

Now, being an explorer, I quite often have to get used to cold weather.

So, I thought it'd be a good idea to have an ice cream to help me.

One delicious ice cream, please.

Now, what we know... Oh. Thank you!

What we know about these bears is, they don't like ice cream.

Which is strange because - mmmm - it's delicious!

But don't you worry. I'll find this bear, or my name's not Rapids...

-Johnson.

-Thank you! Keep 'em peeled!

Mmmm!

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

-# Farwell, TTFN

-Arrivederci

# We all hate to say goodbye

# But we'll be back again

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na It's time to go

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

Ho-ho!