Episode 5 Gigglebiz


Episode 5

Sketch show. Featuring Rod and Annette - where, as usual, Annette is blissfully unaware of Rod's latest prize catch, and Rapids Johnson is in search of a rare, musical animal.


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Transcript


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ALL: It's Gigglebiz!

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

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Ho-ho!

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Coming up on Gigglebiz: Rapids Johnson

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Dina Lady, Major Boogie

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Captain Adorable

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Rod and Annette.

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But first, here's the Doctor.

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Doctor Doctor will see you now!

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Next!

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Now, what seems to be the problem?

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-Doctor Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell.

-Ah. Um...

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Take some tablets.

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If they don't work, give me a ring! Ha-ha! Next!

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Hello!

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Rapids Johnson here, in search of the Venezuelan musical bear.

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"How musical is this bear, Rapids?" I hear you say.

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Well it's a very musical animal indeed.

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In fact, it's the most musical animal in the world.

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Oh...! Hang on a minute. What's that noise?

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Excuse me.

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I'm trying to talk about the Venezuelan musical bear. It's rare.

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-MUSIC STOPS

-Thank you! Sorry.

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Don't you worry, I'll find the bear or my name

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-is not Rapids...

-BEAR: Johnson.

-Thank you. Keep them peeled.

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And to make the perfect lemon drizzle cake,

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you need to use 87 lemons and a keg of drizzle.

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Oh!

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Hello there, my little anchovies.

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Welcome to Dinner Time, with me Dina Lady.

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This is my assistant Tommy Tummy.

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Say hello, Tommy.

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Hello, Tommy!

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Today we are going to make a delicious pie

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using tinned sardines and tinned tomatoes.

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SHE CHUCKLES

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I've prepared the pie dish, and around the edge

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I've got some fluffy pastry.

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Oh, yummy, scrummy for our tummies.

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All we need now are the fillings.

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I won't be a tiny tip.

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Don't forget, you need to get a grown-up to take the ingredients

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out of the tins first, by opening them with one of these.

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This is a tin opener.

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And that's exactly what it does.

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There we are. I've been looking forward to this.

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-There.

-The tin opener is here.

-Thanks, Tommy. You are a good boy.

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That can go in too.

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No...

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Don't you worry. I know, I know.

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-HE SIGHS

-He's a nice boy.

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Daft as a pastry brush, though!

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There.

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Here's a finished one I made earlier on.

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There you go...

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This was made with tinned peas and ham.

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Don't try this at home.

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There you have it - one beautiful pie.

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Easy as... Well, pie.

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Until next time, my little sugar cubes.

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Where did you get that tin opener from?

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I thought we ate that last week.

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And now it's time for your giggles!

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-Hey, Justin.

-Hey, Devin.

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Um...

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Why did the... Why did the flamingo lift up one leg?

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I don't know. Why did the flamingo lift up one leg?

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Because if he lifted up both, he would fall flat on his bottom!

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JUSTIN LAUGHS

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Very good!

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Thank you for bringing in this marvellous painting, Mr...?

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-Sprig.

-Yes. Well let me tell you a bit about it, Mr Sprinkle.

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It's over 150 years old.

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And it was painted by Leonardo de Cappuccino.

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Now sadly it's been sat in direct sunlight

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so it's faded.

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All over here...

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and down here...

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But don't worry.

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I am the expert and I can fix it.

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I'll just get some of my antique paint. ..Thank you, Henry.

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Now, if we just put the smallest amount at the top here...

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Oh, yes. Lovely!

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Then the eyes need a little bit of touching up...

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Wonderful. And the other one.

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Oh, and the mouth, of course.

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Oh, and finally, the nose down here.

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Lovely!

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There we are, it's as good as new!

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You've ruined it!

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No, it's pronounced, RESTORED.

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Thank you for bringing it in, Mr Sprocket.

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Moving on!

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MUM: Come on, you two. Your tea's ready!

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TINKLING

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Up on a toy shelf, in a bedroom just like yours and mine,

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tired old Tin Soldier marches to his tinny tune.

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His name, Major Boogie.

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But when no one's around...

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MARCHING MELODY

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Time for Major Boogie, sir!

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SPANISH FLAMENCO-TYPE MUSIC PLAY

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PING!

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TEMPO INCREASES

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CHILDREN GIGGLE

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Back to the Boogie box, quick march!

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MARCHING MELODY PLAYS

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-Hello, Rapids Johnson here!

-CELLO PLAYS

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Still in search of the Venezuelan musical bear.

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Now I've just had a tip-off that the bear is here in the shopping centre.

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Yah! Which does surprise me.

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Because these noble creatures don't like a lot of noise

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and they're very scared of people.

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-A...

-APPLAUSE

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Hang on a minute. There's some kind of concert going on behind me.

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I don't know what it is. Yah, very good.

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Just... Hang on, there!

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Sure, sure!

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But don't you worry. I'll find the Venezuelan musical bear

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or my name's not Rapids...

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-Johnson!

-Thank you. Keep 'em peeled.

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Doctor Doctor, we'll see you now.

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Next!

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Now, then, what seems to be the problem?

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a chicken.

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I'm glad you've plucked up the courage to come in!

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Next!

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Dear, oh, dear. I think

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I'm going to need some help.

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-Did someone say they need some help?

-Oh, young man, thank you.

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-Can you please help me?

-Of course I can, madam.

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Is it a crime you need me to solve?

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No, I just need some help reading this train timetable.

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I've left my glasses at home. HE LAUGHS

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You don't need this timetable, madam. You have Captain Adorable!

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I will use my super senses to work out which platform you need.

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Now...

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-which town are you travelling to?

-Wiggyville.

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-Wiggyville, you say.

-'Passenger announcement.'

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A-ha! I'm sensing something now.

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'The next train to Wiggyville will depart from platform 15.'

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A-ha!

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The next train to Wiggyville will depart from platform 15.

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Oh, wait! Madam, please,

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don't thank me, it's what I do. Go on, you'll miss your train.

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-'Mind the doors.'

-Wait a second.

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The train to Wiggyville - that's my train!

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Captain Adorable, away! Wait!

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Oh, hello. Nice to meet you. Oh, sit yourself down.

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Take the weight off your lovely legs.

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I mean, I've got to sit here anyway

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while he fishes.

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Oo-hoo!

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Sweet.

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I don't know why he bothers. I mean, he never catches anything.

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Nothing at all.

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But he likes it. He says it makes him happy,

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and at the end of the day, that's what it's all about, isn't it?

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Out in the open, out in the fresh air,

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not getting into trouble or mischief.

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I mean, he says he nearly caught one the other day.

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So he tells me. I didn't see it myself.

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He says it got away.

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But he thought he caught one and that made him happy.

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So, that's nice for him, isn't it?

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But like I say, he never catches anything.

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Do you, love? Bless.

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Now, for more of your giggles.

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-Hey, Justin!

-Hey, Jimmy! Sounds like you might have a joke.

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-Yep.

-Go on, then.

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What do you call when someone crosses a traffic warden with a dog?

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I don't know. What do you get if you cross a traffic warden and a dog?

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A barking ticket! HE LAUGHS

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Very good.

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Hello, Farmer Dunn!

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Oh, hello! All right?

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Have you got something to show us today?

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Yeah. Reggie's lion.

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Did you say Reggie's lion?

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Yeah, Reggie's lion. In the barn.

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Hadn't you better be careful? Lions are fierce and dangerous animals.

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No. Come and have a look.

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See? Reggie's lyin'.

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Lyin' in the barn.

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Reggie's lyin' in the barn.

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-REGGIE SNORES

-My word. That's funny.

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Here's Lee, look. Hey, Reg!

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There he is.

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Morning, Reg!

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He's lyin'. Look.

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Thank you, Farmer Dunn.

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Hello. Rapids Johnson here in search of the Venezuelan musical bear.

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Now, we've just heard from the local people -

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very friendly, by the way - that the bear will be here tonight.

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Hoorah! So, if all else fails, we'll see him then.

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Now... Oh, no, look. It's sold out!

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Ah, drat! But don't you worry,

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I'll find the Venezuelan musical bear or my name's not Rapids...

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-Johnson.

-Thank you, keep 'em peeled.

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# Gigglebits, Gigglebits, we've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebits, Gigglebits, ho ho ho

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# Gigglebits, Gigglebits, and now it's time to go

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# Gigglebits, Gigglebits, it's time to go!

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# Cheerio, ta-ta, bye-bye

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# Farewell, arrivederci!

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# We all hate to say goodbye but we'll be back again

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# Na na na na na na, Gigglebits

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# Na na na na ho ho ho

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# Na na na na na na, Gigglebits

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# Na na na na, it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, we've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, ho ho ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz and now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz it's time to go!

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# Ho ho! #

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Featuring Rod and Annette - where, as usual, Annette is blissfully unaware of Rod's latest prize catch; Rapids Johnson, in search of a rare, musical animal; Captain Adorable - Wiggyville's famous superhero helps out a train station; and the return of Major Boogie, stepping onto the toy shelf for a quick boogie with his flamenco-dancing friend. There are also quick-fire giggles from Doctor Doctor. Including the Gigglekids, children from all round the country who tell Justin their favourite jokes.


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