Episode 12 Gigglebiz


Episode 12

Comedy sketch show for younger viewers. Wildlife park tour guide Sue Keeper gets scared of a cuddly toy lion and bossy antiques expert Ann Teak damages yet more priceless antiques.


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Transcript


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# Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, Gigglebiz

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# Nah-nah-nah-nah, ho, ho, ho

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# Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, Gigglebiz

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# Nah-nah-nah-nah, here we go. #

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Coming up on Gigglebiz...

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Will Singalot,

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Keith Fitt,

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Professor Muddles,

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Sue Keeper,

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and now, here's Arthur Sleep.

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HE SNORES

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Oh, he-he!

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What's going on? Where am I?

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Hello, there, I'm Arthur Sleep and here's the news.

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And now it's time for this...

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Sorry about that, Doreen, I was just resting my eyes.

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Just taking five winks. Oh, heh-heh!

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FLUTE MUSIC PLAYS

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# I am a minstrel and I always sing a song

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# I try to put good Robin right but he always gets it wrong...#

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Right, you. Today I will impress the lovely Maid Marion

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and win a kiss by showing her my skills as a dancer.

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So, no interruptions. Got that?

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# Got that. #

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Good day, fair maid.

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Is it not a fine morning for a dance?

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A dance? In the forest?

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Of course. What better place?

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You'll be impressed by my fancy footwork.

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I am quite brilliant.

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# He's not very good, not very good, he isn't very good. #

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No thanks.

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I'll deal with you later.

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My lady, I beg you.

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Oh, go on then.

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# Good Robin offered her his hand

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# But Marion stepped aside

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-# And danced with Little John instead who held his arms out wide... #

-No!

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# Then everybody danced around, then round and round again

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# As Marion danced a merry jig with all the merry men

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# Oh, fiddly-dee and fiddly-dum sing this song with me

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# Oh, fiddly-dum and fiddly-dee let's dance around the tree... #

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What about me?

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# Around the tree, around the tree, come dance around the tree

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# Fiddly-dum and fiddly-dee, dance around the tree

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# Come dance around the tree. #

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Thank you, everyone, you were wonderful.

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-Marion, you never danced with me.

-See you soon.

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Oh!

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This is all your fault.

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# Oh, fiddly-dee and fiddly-dum, let's sing a song with me

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# Oh, fiddly-dum and fiddly-dee, let's dance around the tree. #

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That minstrel's got to go!

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And now the latest from the world of sport, it's Keith Fitt.

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1,001, 1,002, 1,003...

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OK, stop there.

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Howay, bairns, Keith Fitt in the studio here.

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I'm just doing an exercise called "jumping jacks."

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I've been doing this for over 20 years, so I know what I'm doing.

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Watch and learn, bairns, watch and learn.

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OK, where were we? Right. 1,003. Come on, then!

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-HE CHUCKLES

-That's it.

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Arthur, why don't you have a go?

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All right, Keith, I'll try anything once.

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Right, jumping jacks, eh?

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I tell you what - I like this.

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Thanks, Doreen.

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News just in - it says we have a jumping jacks news update.

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Over to Gail.

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Hello, Arthur.

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As you can see, everyone is getting fit doing those jumping jacks.

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Hey-hey! Everybody's doing it!

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The jumping jack craze could run for quite literally years.

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Now, just one last adjustment like so, and that should finish off...

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Oh, dear! Where did that go?

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Never mind, I'm sure it wasn't important.

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Hello, there. I'm Professor Coddles...

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I mean Cuddles... I mean Muddles.

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Welcome to my laboratory.

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You're probably wondering why I'm wearing all this safety gear.

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Well, it's because today I'll be looking at what makes us

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get dizzy when we spin around like this.

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He-ha! Great fun.

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Oh, dear!

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Well, I'm feeling a bit busy now...

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I mean fizzy...

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I mean dizzy. Oh, steady, easy.

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As you can see, this is one of my latest inventions.

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It's called the No-Dizzy Helmet.

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You see, you switch it on like...so.

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I'm going to take my glasses off. And then you pop it onto your head.

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That's it. Like that.

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I'm wearing the No-Dizzy Helmet.

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I can spin around as fast

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and as many times as I like and I won't get dozy.

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I mean dizzy. Here we go...

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Oh, yes - this is great. Faster, yes!

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CRASHING AND BANGING

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Oh!

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Oh, well...

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What have we learnt today?

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Well, spinning around to make yourself dizzy is probably not

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a very good idea, even wearing the No-Hizzy Delmet.

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I mean the No-Dizzy Helmet.

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I'm Professor Muddles, goodbye...

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I'm OK.

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And now it's time for your giggles.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

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I don't know.

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Cos it wanted to be a water melon.

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THEY LAUGH

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Right then, wildlife lovers, welcome to the tour.

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I'm your guide, Sue Keeper.

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Today, we're going to see lots of wonderful...

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-Oh, what are they called?

-Animals.

-Yes!

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Animals! Well done, young wildlife lover.

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First of all we're going to go...

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Hang on a second, ooh!

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Nobody panic, but I can see a lion.

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It's in your bag. Don't worry cos I know all about...

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Uh, what are they called? Um...

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-Lions.

-Lions, yeah.

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So, listen, everyone, come over here very slowly.

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Don't look into its eyes. Go limp - that's it.

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And I'll save you all. Well done.

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Careful, you can't handle the lion.

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-He's not real. He won't hurt you.

-SHE SQUEALS

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He's attacking me.

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Don't worry, I know how to wrestle a lion.

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Run for your lives, wildlife lovers, quick, as fast as you can.

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Oh...

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Can I have my lion back?

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Yes, of course you can, young wildlife lover.

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It's a good job I saved everyone.

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I know all about tigers.

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-Lions.

-Yes, those too.

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Well, you and me then, eh?

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Right...penguins!

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-That way.

-Oh, yeah. That way.

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I love my job.

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And now this.

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Yes, Arthur, everyone's still doing those jumping jacks.

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They're still going. Surely, they're getting tired?

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MUFFLED SQUEALS

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FOGHORN SOUNDS

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ANIMALS TWITTER AND FOGHORN SOUNDS

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We have many marvellous treasures here.

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I'll be the judge of that. I am the expert.

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Thank you for bringing in these wonderful pieces, Mrs...?

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Button.

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Shall we start with this lovely painting?

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Well, as you can see,

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this painting is by the renowned landscape artist Ivor Palette.

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He quite often signed his name across the front of the picture

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but this one's odd...

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I think it may be on the back.

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Let's have a look.

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Mm, no, it's not there.

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Which means the painting is actually worthless.

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Moving on to this wonderful piece here, Mrs Burp. Tell me more.

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Of course, there are not many vases like this.

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Vase? No, no, no, Mrs Bottom, this isn't a vase.

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No, this is a flowerpot.

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You can quite clearly see the flowers painted on the side.

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Not much weight to it - quite hollow.

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You can pick these up in the garden centre, these days.

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SHE SINGS INTO THE VASE

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Oh, I say, this is marvellous.

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We all know what this is, don't we?

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Yes, of course, it's a suit of armour.

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That's right, it's a suit of armour.

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This one is quite hollow, I believe.

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Please, be very careful.

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If it falls apart, it takes ages to put it back together again.

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Of course. Silly me.

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Thank you so much for showing me around.

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Have a good day, won't you?

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Oh, silly me! I've forgotten my handbag.

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Where is my brain today?

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Bye!

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News just in - it's silly time!

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Hello, bookworms, good to see you.

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Storybook Stan and welcome to the story corner.

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Today, I'm going to be reading a story from one of these -

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it's a digital book.

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Would you believe it?

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Shall we get going?

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-ELECTRONIC VOICE:

-Once upon a time...

-Hang on, who said that?

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-Once upon a time...

-What's going on?

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I'm reading the story.

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Hang on, I'm Storybook Stan. That's my job.

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Not today it's not.

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Now, where was I?

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Wait a second!

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Excuse me. How do I switch this thing off?

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BEEP Ah, that's got it.

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No.

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Hang on a minute.

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BEEP There, that's it.

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Sorry about that, viewers.

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Listen, I think I shall choose a different book for today.

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Hello, bookworms...

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Hang on a minute...

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Hello, I'm still switched on!

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-Ho-ho-ho!

-Hang on a minute.

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Wait - it's not time to go, is it?

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I haven't started the story yet. Goodbye, bookworms.

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Hello! Down here!

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You thought that was good? Tke a look at this.

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It's still going on, Arthur.

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Everyone is getting fit doing those jumping jacks.

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They're crazy.

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Gail Force here. Back to the studio.

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, we've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, ho, ho, ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, and now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Giggle, it's time to go

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# Cheerio, ta-ta, bye-bye

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# Farewell, TTFN

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, Gigglebiz

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# Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, ho, ho, ho

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# Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, Gigglebiz

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# Nah-nah-nah, it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, we've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, ho, ho, ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, and now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle, it's time to go

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# Ho-ho. #

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Will Singalot infuriates Robin Hood with his constant singing and spoils his plans to dance with Maid Marion; in the news studio Arthur Sleep takes a nap; fitness enthusiast Keith Fitt starts a jumping jacks exercise craze and gets everyone to join in; zany scientist Professor Muddles invents a no-dizzy helmet which doesn't quite work as planned; wildlife park tour guide Sue Keeper gets scared of a cuddly toy lion; gardener Will Barrow finds all kinds of animals hiding in his wellington boot; bossy antiques 'expert' Ann Teak damages yet more priceless antiques including a suit of armour; and Storybook Stan gets upstaged by an out-of-control digital book.

The show also features the Gigglekids - children from all around the country telling their favourite jokes - and Justin joins children onscreen for the best knock knock jokes. Finally there's some silly dancing fun in silly time!


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