Episode 14 Gigglebiz


Episode 14

Comedy sketch show for younger viewers. DIY Dan tries and fails to brighten up an old chest of drawers and wildlife park tour guide Sue Keeper gets all her reindeer facts wrong.


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Transcript


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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

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-Ho-ho!

-'Coming up on Gigglebiz...

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'Captain Adorable!

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'DIY Dan!

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'Sue Keeper!

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'Humphrey!

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'But first, here's Arthur Sleep!'

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Ahem! Hello, there, I'm Arthur Sleep with some breaking news.

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A monkey has been spotted flying above Batley town centre.

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Police think it might be some sort of hot air baboon.

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Hot air BABOON, eh?! I tell you, I'm wasted around here.

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That's another Arthur Sleep classic. And now, this.

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Here we are, QT,

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more cabbage leaves for your space guinea pig.

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Greetings, crew! Oh, Bottom! It's happened again!

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Oh, God, don't worry, I can fix it.

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BANGING

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Get off!

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Ah, panic over, I've fixed it.

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Afternoon, Captain Adorable. I'm preparing dinner,

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-so mind that sack of potatoes.

-Wise words, Bottom.

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Sounds delicious. I think a... Argh! Ow!

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Argh! Bottom!

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Why didn't you tell me there were potatoes on the floor?

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Never mind. QT, situation report, please?

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Hang on a minute... QT?

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She's gone! And what is that, Bottom?

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-It's a space guinea pig, Captain.

-A space guinea pig?

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QT gone and a space guinea pig in her place? Oh, this is a disaster!

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Captain, there is a very simple explanation...

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No, Bottom. You see, what's happened is,

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a whirlwind of space dust from the planet Zoig

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has entered our filtration system. QT has breathed the air in

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and she's transformed into a space guinea pig!

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-I don't think that's quite right... SHOUTS:

-All levels...

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Oh, excuse me. Ahem. All levels are normal.

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You'll be pleased to know that QT is alive.

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I mean, she's a bit furrier than normal,

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and her nose twitches a lot, but don't worry,

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we can save her and change her back to normal.

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-Captain, if I can step in here and explain...

-There is no time, Bottom.

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I'll go and get the reverse-o-matic X-ray blaster 3000.

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I won't be a minute.

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HE SQUEALS

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It's OK, I'm all right!

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Which is more than I can say for QT there.

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Right, lift doors.

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A-ha! Behold, Bottom, the reverse-o-matic X-ray 3000 blaster!

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Now, we have to take shelter, Bottom,

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while the X-rays convert the space guinea pig back to QT.

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Right, switching it on.

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Quick, Bottom, we've only got five seconds to get to the lift. Come on!

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Argh! Ow!

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Who left all of these potatoes here? Quick, to the lift!

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MACHINE BLEEPS

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BLEEPING STOPS

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A-ha! Success, Bottom!

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Welcome back, QT. Good to see you.

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I knew I could rely on the old reverse-o-matic X-ray 3000 blaster.

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-Well done, Captain.

-Nothing can trip me up, old pal.

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Waa! Ooh!

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No, Captain.

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'This is the captain. All is well.'

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And now, here's Keith Fitt.

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Ha'way, bairns! Keith Fitt here.

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And today I'm helping oot my friend Arthur Sleep to get fit.

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Right, OK, Arthur, a spot of running.

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Come on, man, let's see what you've got. Keep up the pace, man.

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There he goes. Remember, no pain, no gain.

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Come on, Arthur, let's see a burst of speed noo.

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That's it, Arthur, come on! Sweat it oot, man.

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Remember, I've been a fitness trainer for over 20 year,

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so I know what I'm talking aboot. Go on, man!

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-Push that body to the limit, man!

-I'm pushing, I'm pushing, Keith!

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Ooh, ha'way, man! Y'all right doon there, Arthur?

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Yeah, I'm absolutely fine, Keith.

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Oh, no problem at all. I just run out of puff there.

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And now it's time to go over to someone else...

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I'm going to go and take a nap somewhere. I mean, I'm just...

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Champion!

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Oh! Hello, there, I'm Professor Piddles...

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I mean, Middles...

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I mean, Muddles, and this is my laboratory.

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Yes, now, today...

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Today, I'm going to look at something very important indeed,

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recycling rubbish.

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Ta-dah! Ha-ha-ha!

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I call it my auto-recycling sorter, and it is very, very clever.

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You see, this machine automatically sorts all of my recycling for me.

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Eh? Clever stuff. And, even better than that...

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YELPS IN PAIN

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..my see-cycling rorter... I mean, my recycling sorter

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is powered by a bicycle.

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So it is all very good for the environment.

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As you can see, my bicycling powers the recycling.

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Ha-ha!

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This is great fun.

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I'm going to cycle plaster. I mean, faster.

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Off we go! Even faster!

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Super-fast now! Woo-hoo!

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-BANG!

-Aieeee!

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CRASHING

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Oh! Oh, dear. Well, I think we've learned something today.

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I'll just put that down.

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Make sure your bicycle stays attached to your recycling machine.

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I'm Professor Muddles. Goodbye!

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Oh, dear, I should start clearing up, really.

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Oh, hello, there!

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-Knock-knock.

-Who's there?

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-Justin.

-Justin who?

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Just-in the neighbourhood so I thought I'd drop by!

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Ha-ha! Just-in the neighbourhood...

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No?

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'Today were going to show you how to brighten up

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'a piece of old furniture.

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'The first thing you need to do is take off all the old paint.

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'For that, you'll need some sandpaper.'

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'This may take some time.'

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'But that sanding will be worth it, because, hey presto,

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'the paint is gone.'

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'The next step is to replace some of those boring old handles.

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'For this job, you'll need glue and a hammer.'

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'Squirt a small amount of glue onto the handle.'

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'Make sure you have the correct handle.'

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'Handles in place, all you have to do now is varnish it.

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'You'll need some varnish and a brush.

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'Carefully apply the varnish to the furniture.

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'This is hard work,

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'and you may need to take a break.

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'Be careful, though. That varnish is pretty sticky.'

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FABRIC RIPS

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'You might need to change if you have any accidents.'

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'And there you have it, your chest of drawers is as good as new.'

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'Job done!'

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News just in, it's silly time!

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SILLY MUSIC

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There we are, this way, wildlife lovers. Oh, there we are.

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Now, gather round. I'm so excited about these animals.

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They're my favourite, you know.

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Now, these are, of course, hamsters, yes.

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Now, hamsters are furry, they have 72 teeth,

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and they're particularly good examples of hamsters.

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-You see, they're furry...

-Excuse me?

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-Yes, wildlife lover? What is it?

-Erm, those aren't hamsters.

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I beg your pardon?

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Those animals aren't hamsters, they're reindeer.

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Reindeer!

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What's the difference?

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Well, hamsters don't have antlers on their heads, reindeer do.

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I've never heard anything so silly! Of course they do!

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Father Christmas uses 12 happy hamsters with big antlers

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to pull his sleigh at Christmas time,

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deliver the presents to you and you, yes.

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Father Christmas' sleigh isn't pulled by hamsters!

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Of course it is!

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Everyone knows the hamsters' names.

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There's Twiddler, there's Sniffler,

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-there's little Scrappy...

-It's pulled by reindeer!

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You are funny! I don't know!

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I've got a good idea, why don't we pretend to be Father Christmas

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and his happy 12 hamsters? Come on, everyone, line up.

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That's it. Don't forget to hold your antlers up high, that's it!

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Higher than that! You can be Rudolph!

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Come on, everyone, off we go! # Jingle bells...! #

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Oh, brilliant! I love my job!

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'And now it's time for your giggles!'

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What did you call a fish with no eyes?

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-I don't know.

-A fsh!

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HE SIGHS

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HUMPHREY SNIFFS

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Ah!

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HUMPHREY SNIFFS

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HE SNIFFS

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DOG WHINES

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SPLASH!

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HE SIGHS

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HE SIGHS

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

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# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

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# Farwell, TTFN

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na-na It's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Captain Adorable has problems with a space guinea pig, fitness instructor Keith Fitt gets Arthur Sleep running in the studio, zany scientist Professor Muddles demonstrates his bicycle-powered recycling machine, incompetent DIY enthusiast DIY Dan tries and fails to brighten up an old chest of drawers, wildlife park tour guide Sue Keeper gets all her reindeer facts wrong, and ever-helpful Humphrey gets his neighbour into trouble during a walk in the woods.

The show also features the Gigglekids - children from all around the country telling their favourite jokes - and Justin joins children onscreen for the best knock-knock jokes. Finally, there's some silly dancing fun in silly time!


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