Episode 21 Gigglebiz


Episode 21

Comedy sketch show for younger viewers. Arthur Sleep has a go at aerobics with fitness guru Keith Fitt and prehistoric cave dwellers Ug and Ig fly a kite made out of rock.


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Transcript


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# Na, na, na, na, na, na Gigglebiz

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# Na, na, na, na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na, na, na, na, na, na Gigglebiz

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# Na, na, na Here we go!

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# Ho-ho! #

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Coming up on Gigglebiz... Humphrey!

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Keith Fit.

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Ug and Ig.

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Ann Teak. But first, it's time for Sue Keeper.

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Come along, wildlife lovers. Oh, we've got

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some exciting animals here. Have a look over there

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because there is a lovely swarm of...

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Oh, what are they called? It begins with P.

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Er, pelicans? No. Erm...

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-Pigs?

-That's right, pigs. Oh, I was just about to say that, actually.

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You'd better write that down, I was just about to say that.

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Now, these pigs are very special because they're called flying pigs.

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-"Oh!" I hear you cry.

-What? Pigs don't fly!

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Pfftt! She's funny. Of course they do. Who's heard someone say,

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"Pigs might fly"? Everyone, hands up. B. Me. See?

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Yes, but these pigs can't fly.

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Well, that's right.

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These pigs can't fly because they haven't got any wings, have they?

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Cor! I don't know! And everyone knows you need wings to fly.

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So...if there are such things as flying pigs...

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-Yes, wildlife lover...

-..where can we find them?

-Good question.

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And the answer is...er...

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over there in that pen. Come on, everyone. Let's fly like little

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piggies. Whoa-ho!

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OK, wildlife lovers. Have a look at these flying pigs...

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Oh, hang on a minute, they seem to have gone. Huh.

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-Oh, well, to the next paddock.

-Hang on a minute.

-Yes?

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-How did they get away?

-Well, they flew, of course.

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They are flying pigs! Cor! Write that down, I don't know.

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Right, you lot, come on. More wildlife to see, off we go!

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Oh, I love my job!

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Hello there, I'm Arthur Sleep, and here's the news.

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In fact, breaking news just in...

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PHONE RINGS

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Hang on. Excuse me.

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Hello, Arthur Sleep, news desk. What...you want to speak to

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Doreen? Who is it, please?

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Anita? Anita who? Anita Blow-me-nose.

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All right, I'll just check for you.

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Doreen, Anita Blow-me-nose. I said, Anita Blow-me-nose!

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What's this for? I... Oh! She'll call you back. Goodbye.

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Honestly. And now this...

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HIS NOSE SQUEAKS

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Oh, oh...

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HE CHUCKLES

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Oh, I, er...

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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BOING

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BOING

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DOG BARKS

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CREAKING

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CREAKING

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BOING

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HE CHUCKLES

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DOG BARKS

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DOG BARKS

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HE CHUCKLES

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HE MUNCHES LOUDLY

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HE SIGHS

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And now it's time for your giggles.

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-What's the hardest bow to tie?

-I don't know.

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A rainbow! Hee-hee.

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LAUGHTER

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APPLAUSE

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CHEERY MUSIC

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ZOOMING

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ZOOMING

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CRASHING

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APPLAUSE

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I'm Arthur Sleep and now it's time for the sports report. Keith,

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what on earth are you doing, young man?

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Away, Arthur. And away, bairns, Keith Fit here.

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DANCE MUSIC

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Doing a spot of aerobics.

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Now, aerobics is a great way to workout when you're stuck

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inside the TV studio like me. Come on, Arthur, join in, man.

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I suppose I could give it a go. Right, what have you got?

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All right, OK, yes. Hey, hey! Hey, this is kind of fun.

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Hey, Doreen, come on. Give this a go. You know you want to.

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Doreen, I've got all the moves, haven't I?

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And, as you can see, bairns, I'm super flexible.

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Takes years of practice to do this...

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MUSIC STOPS

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Oh...and that's how you do aerobics. Champion.

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This is the home of Ug and Ig,

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where almost everything is made of rock.

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Look, Ug, Ig's making the feather fly.

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Ahh! Ugh, ugh, Ig.

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-That's good.

-You think you can make something better?

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Yeah, yeah.

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-And bigger?

-Bigger!

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Oh, yes. This one.

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Here we go.

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CRASH AND BANG

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Wow. Great kite, Ug.

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Oh! Ha-ha-ha. Oh...

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Here you go, Ig. That's it.

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There we are.

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HE GROANS AND GRUNTS

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I can't lift it. Ig...

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He's strong. Ah, yeah.

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Higher, higher, higher...

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and...go...

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BANG

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Maybe you should take the kite outside, Ug?

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Ig...outside, yeah.

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Ready, one, two, three...go!

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Ah, ah, Ig...

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We did it! Yeah.

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Why has Ig gone back inside?

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The wind's going... Uh-oh. No wind.

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Ohh!

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HE GROANS

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Ah, that's why.

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HE GROANS AND GRUNTS

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Ig...

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Perhaps Ug should give up kite flying?

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Oh...

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Me? Oh, thank you!

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There, why don't you stick to flying feathers?

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HE LAUGHS

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Well done, Ug. Well done, Ig.

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BOING

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Thanks.

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It's silly time!

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SILLY MUSIC

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Come along, my group. That's it, there we are. No time to dawdle.

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Hello there.

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-CLOCK CHIMES

-Not too close, back we go.

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Now, here we have an interesting piece.

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This is an old antique clock. In the olden days, of course,

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people would use these antique clocks to...

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-Tell the time.

-Hee-hee! Yes, I was going to say that, you know.

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I am the expert! Now, this particular clock is very heavy,

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so would anyone like to touch it?

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-Feel the weight. Throw it up and down.

-Actually,

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I'd rather you didn't. The case is alarmed. If anyone touches the case,

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-the alarm goes off.

-Oh, what? This one?

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ALARM WAILS

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Oh, there goes the alarm. Stop, thief!

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Oh, thank goodness for that. All right. We have to be very

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careful around this old antique clock and not set the alarm off.

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-Thank you.

-Yes, is that clear, everyone?

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ALARM WAILS

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Oh, there it goes again. Stop, thief!

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ALARM STOPS

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This is very mysterious. Why does the alarm

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keep going off? Reminds me of the time when I looked after the

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crown jewels, ha!

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ALARM WAILS

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Oh, there it goes again, ha! Stop, thief!

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-Oh, so loud!

-It's broken, I can't turn it off.

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Security, I think the alarm is something to do with him.

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It's broken.

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ALARM STOPS

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There it goes. Thank goodness for that.

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Well, we certainly have learnt something today!

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We have to be very careful around this clock.

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All right, my group. Moving on through the door there, that's it.

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SHE CHUCKLES

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Lovely old thing. Right...

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ALARM WAILS

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go

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# Cheerio, ta-ta, bye-bye Farewell, TTFN

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# We all hate to say goodbye But we'll be back again

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# Na, na, na, na, na, na Gigglebiz

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# Na, na, na, na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na, na, na, na, na, na Gigglebiz

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# Na, na, na It's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go

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# Ho-ho! #

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Wildlife park tour guide Sue Keeper gets all her facts wrong about pigs, ever-helpful Humphrey causes trouble for his neighbour as he tries to eat his packed lunch in the park, tap dancer Dan Step gets into all sorts of shoe-related difficulties on the dance floor, Arthur Sleep has a go at aerobics with fitness guru Keith Fitt, prehistoric cave dwellers Ug and Ig fly a kite made out of rock, and antiques 'expert' Ann Teak sets off a noisy alarm.

The show also features the Gigglekids - children from all around the country telling their favourite jokes; and Justin joins children onscreen for the best knock knock jokes. Finally there's some silly dancing fun in silly time!


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