Episode 8 Gigglebiz


Episode 8

Comedy sketch show for younger viewers. Location reporter Gail Force has some problems with a phone call and a cardboard box delivery.


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Transcript


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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

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Ho-ho!

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Coming up on Gigglebiz,

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Farmer Dung,

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Gail Force,

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Ug and Ig,

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Will Singalot,

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but first it's time for Ann Teak.

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POSH MUSIC

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I don't know why you're so upset, Mrs Clump.

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I mean, it was an oil painting

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and now it's a lovely necklace.

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You should be thanking me.

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Next!

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-Oh, hello, Mr...

-Fisher.

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Mmm! What have we got here?

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Just looks like an old cushion, Mr Fishfood.

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Well, this isn't valuable at all. Next!

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No, it's not the cushion.

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I've brought in an emerald ring, antique, on the cushion, see?

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Oh, yes, I can see it, Mr Fishfood.

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May I have a closer look at it using my eyeglass?

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Let's see what we've got. Oh, yes.

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It's beautiful, isn't it?

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-Would you mind, Mr Fishfood, if I tried it on?

-No.

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OK. A perfect fit, how fortunate.

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-What do you think?

-It looks very nice.

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Thank you, you old charmer.

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Well, thank you very much for coming to see me. Next!

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-Excuse me.

-Yes?

-Could I have it back, please?

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Your ring? What are you talking... Oh, of course, this one!

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Silly me. Here it...

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Oh, hang on a minute. I think it's stuck.

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-Here, let me try.

-Ooh! I don't think you can budge it.

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I think I've got it!

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-Now where is it?

-I don't know, Mr Fishfood.

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Never mind, I'm sure it'll turn up somewhere.

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Well, I must be off. Moving on!

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Baggsie the choccie biccies!

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Hello, Farmer Dung.

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-Oh, hey.

-That looks very impressive.

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-Is that your new gate?

-Yeah! My new gate, look.

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It are automatic.

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Ah, I see.

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And that remote control opens and closes the gate?

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It does, aye. I'll give you a demonstration, right.

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Uh, gate open!

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-That's it!

-Watch out for Reggie, Farmer Dung.

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What? Reg? Where's Reg?

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Oh, Reg, there he is!

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Oh, sorry, Reg. Locked him out, look.

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Don't worry, I'll open it up for you.

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Right, gate open!

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Ha-ha, eh-oh!

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Whoa! See that?!

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Oh, sorry, Reg. Something wrong with the old remote!

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Right, there we go, right. You better run, Reg.

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Run like the wind!

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Right, here we go. Gate open!

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Go on, Reg! That it!

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Eh! Ha-ha!

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Well done, Reg. He's fast, innie, eh?

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I need some batteries in these...

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HONK!

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Oh, Reg! Oh! Ha-ha! The gate!

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He got Reg! He's fallen over, look!

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Oh, no!

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Oh, my word!

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I better turn it off.

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-Hi!

-Hi, Justin!

-Knock-knock.

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-Who's there?

-Nana!

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Nana who?

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Knock-knock.

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-Who's there?

-Nana.

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-Nana who?

-Knock-knock.

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-Who's there?

-Aunt.

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Aunt who?

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"Aunt" you glad Nana's gone?

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-Bye!

-Bye, Justin.

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Hello, there, I'm Arthur Sleep and here's the news.

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14 dancing koala bears have escaped from a local zoo...

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LOUD DRILLING

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What's that noise?! Doreen! Hello, over here! Hello!

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Can't you do that drilling some other time?

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I'm trying to read the news here!

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Huh! Honestly, I don't know.

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Ahem, as I was saying, 14 dancing koala bears...

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HAMMERING

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Do... Do-Doreen!

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Honestly, put that claw hammer down.

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THUMP! Oh!

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Gail! Gail Force, where are you today?

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Hopefully somewhere nice and quiet, no doubt.

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SAWING

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Hello, I'm Gail Force, reporting this morning from a very busy

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and very noisy warehouse.

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Now, as you can see,

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there are hundreds of parcels being shipped all over the country.

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-Now, every morning, this man...

-PHONE RINGS

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Hang on a minute, there's the phone. Oh, it's mine!

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Won't be a minute, excuse me.

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Hello, Gail Fo... Hello?

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Oh, hello, Mother. Yes, I can't really talk, I'm at work.

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Yes, I'm still coming round, yes. Yes, three o'clock.

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-Yep.

-Anyone know how many boxes we need for the delivery?

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I said three.

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-Right you are.

-It's a bit noisy here, sorry.

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Pardon? You can't do three o'clock?

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Oh, OK. What? You're taking the dog for a walk?

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Why don't we say later, then?

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How about four o'clock?

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There you go. Any more?

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-I said four!

-Right you are.

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Ooh, excuse me, it's very noisy here.

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You can't do four o'clock?

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Why didn't you say you couldn't do four o'clock?

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All right, Mother, we could make it later if you wish.

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Well, how about six o'clock?

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-Four boxes, any more?

-Oh, I said six!

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-MOUTHS:

-I'm on the phone!

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-Oh, right.

-Excuse me. Yes, six o'clock.

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Wonderful.

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Would you like me to bring you anything?

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Yes, all right. I'll bring you some biscuits.

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And some magazines, all right, Mother.

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Listen, I'm going to have to go. I'm reporting.

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All right, bye, Mother. Sorry about that.

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This is Gail Force reporting from the warehouse...

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Six boxes, that's your lot.

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..saying, back to the studio?

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Well, I didn't know we covered boxing, Gail!

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Boxing, get it?!

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That's the punch line. You know, punch line!

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I'm wasted here.

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BOING!

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CUCKOO!

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CUCKOO!

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CUCKOO!

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ECHOES: CUCKOO! CUCKOO!

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ECHOES: CUCKOO! CUCKOO!

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It's Silly Time!

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SILLY MUSIC PLAYS

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HONK!

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Skills! Super skills! Sports!

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Whoa, man! Champion!

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Ha'way, bairns!

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Keith Fitt here,

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and today I'm going to show you how to play rugby.

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OK? Now, there's a couple of ways you can score points in rugby.

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You can carry the ball over the line and score

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one point, or

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you can kick the ball over these posts and score 180!

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Ha, champion!

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So I'm going to show you how to score the big points, OK?

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You place your ball here in this little thing called a, um...

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Er...

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plastic ring,

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and then you pace your run-up to the ball.

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Very important to get that reet, OK?

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There we go.

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I've got a surprisingly long run-up.

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But don't worry, bairns, I've been playing rugby for over 20 years

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so I know what I'm talking aboot.

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OK...

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Couple more paces.

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Here we go.

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And that's about it. Ho-ho!

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OK, watch and learn, watch and learn.

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Here we go, away with you!

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Rugby skills, 180 points!

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Keep your eye on the ball, man.

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BOING! Oh! Ah! Me leg! Oh!

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Oh!

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Sometimes it's easier to carry the ball over the line.

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Just score a point.

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And that's how you play rugby.

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Champion.

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This is the home of Ug and Ig,

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where almost everything is made of rock.

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Oh, all right...

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BOING!

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All right, Ig, what are you 'oing?

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-Hey! Goal!

-Hello, Ug.

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-Do you like Ig's football game?

-Uh, yeah!

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You think you can make a better football?

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Uh-huh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And a bigger one?

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Uh, yeah.

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UG GRUNTS

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Like, ooh-ooh! And you go...

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Ouch! Oh!

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BANGING

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Oh, ta-da!

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Ig! You want to go in goa'?

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Oh, right.

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I kick the 'all.

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MATCH OF THE DAY THEME PLAYS

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Oh! Aw! Aw!

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Oh! Ouch!

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Aw!

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UG GRUNTS

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You hit da ball, I go in goa'.

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Right.

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UG GROANS

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Right, 'eady? Go!

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Oh! Ah!

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BANGING AND CRASHING

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CRASH! BOINK!

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Oh, Ig!

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-Why don't you stick to playing Ig's football game?

-Yeah.

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'anks! Let's go!

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Yeah!

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Well done, Ug.

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Well done, Ig.

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-BOINK

-Thanks.

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And now it's time for your giggles!

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-Why does the cow cross the road?

-I don't know.

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To get to the moooo-vies!

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MEDIEVAL MUSIC

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# I am good Robin's minstrel and I always sing a song

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# I try to put good Robin right but he always gets it wrong... #

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Get down!

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Look, there's fair Maid Marion,

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and that heavy tree trunk appears to be in her way.

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I, Robin Hood, will pick it up and impress her with my strength.

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Just don't ruin anything by singing, got that?

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# Go-o-ot that! #

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# The bold and dashing Robin... #

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I thought I told you not to sing!

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# He has a cunning plan

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# Impress Maid Marion with his strength

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-# Convince her he's a man...#

-Absolutely!

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# But what will become of this? He doesn't have a clue

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# No doubt his plans will crash and burn because they always do

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# No doubt his plans will crash and burn because they always do... #

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Can't I ever go anywhere on my own?!

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ROBIN SIGHS

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My lady, Maid Marion, that tree trunk appears to be in your way.

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Is it?

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Allow me.

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HE GROANS

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-You're very strong.

-Thank you.

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I take after my mother.

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# To be impressed, that would be wrong

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# But don't be fooled - he's not that strong... #

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What?

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Seriously, don't you have somewhere else you need to be?

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# Don't be misled, it's no mistake

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# That's not a trunk, it's a fake... #

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It's a not a fake!

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# That's not a trunk, it's a fake... #

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Here, hold this.

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Just go!

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Ahem...

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So this is a real log, is it?

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Um...

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Of course it is. I'm strong, remember?

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It's made of cardboard.

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I'm off 'ome.

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# The plan has failed, it's plain to see

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# But why it failed is a mystery

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# Why it failed is a mystery... #

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It's pretty clear from where I'm standing.

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# Why it failed is a mystery. #

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That minstrel's got to go.

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

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# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

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# Farewell, TTFN

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na It's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

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Ho-ho!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:14:040:14:07

Ann Teak the know-it-all expert examines a valuable antique ring, prehistoric cave dwellers Ug and Ig play some Stone Age football, incomprehensible Farmer Dung shows off his new automatic gate, newsreader Arthur Sleep tells some more terrible jokes, location reporter Gail Force has some problems with a phone call and a cardboard box delivery, gardener Will Barrow has to deal with a noisy cuckoo, fitness guru Keith Fitt tries and fails to demonstrate how to play rugby, and Will Singalot's singing gets Robin Hood into trouble when he tries to impress Maid Marion by lifting a heavy log.

The show also features the Gigglekids - children from all around the country telling their favourite jokes, and Justin joins children onscreen for the best knock knock jokes. Finally there's some silly dancing fun in silly time!


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