Episode 9 Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

Ho-ho!

Coming up on Gigglebiz...

Nana Knickerbocker,

Storybook Stan,

DIY Dan,

Sue Keeper

and here's Professor Muddles.

Right, I'm Professor Muddles and this is my laboratory.

Today, we're going to answer another scientific question.

Why does your pet animal itch when it gets fleas?

That's a good question.

I'd like to introduce you to my pet hat, I mean pet mat,

I mean, my pet cat.

Say hello to Schrodinger. That's his name.

All right then.

Now Schrodinger recently had fleas,

which we got rid of using some good old flea powder. Yes.

Now the fleas are now safe in this box over here.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

The box looks completely empty

but I can assure you, it's full of Schrodinger's fleas.

There they are. Loads of them.

You see, they're so tiny, you can't see them. There we are.

I say, stop that, you naughty fleas. Come back. Sorry about that.

Now, where was I?

Hang on a minute, they're lively, aren't they?

Mind out. All right, I'll put them back there.

Just to be absolutely sure there are no more fleas on good old

Schrodinger... Easy, easy.

Now, I might just put a little bit more pea flowder,

I mean flea powder, on him, just to make sure all the fleas have gone.

-You all right with that?

-Meow.

-All right. There we are.

Pop that on there, like so.

I say, oh, the powder is making my nose itchy. Atchoo!

Oh, no, oh, dear, the lid's come off and that means, oh, no,

the peas, I mean bees, I mean fleas, have escaped.

What have we learnt today?

Well, fleas don't only make your pets itchy,

they can make you itchy too.

Oh, no, I think I need more flea powder.

Atchoo! I'm Professor Muddles. Goodbye. Atchoo! Schrodinger?

-Hiya.

-Hi, Justin.

-Knock, knock.

-Who's there?

-Ketchup.

-Ketchup who?

Ketchup with me and I'll tell you.

And now, Nana Knickerbocker in today's panto.

Dick Whittington.

La, la, la, la, la.

Hello, boys and girls.

Oh, I say, has anyone seen the bus stop?

Oh. I'll ask this nice, young man.

I say, have you seen... I say, have you seen the bus stop?

Yes, it's behind you.

Oh, yes, it's behind you. Great routine. It's behind me.

-Yes, it's behind you.

-Oh, I'll take a look then.

Oh, there it is. Hang on a minute, everyone. What's this?

A young man with a bag starting a long journey. Who is it?

That's right, it's Dick Whittington.

-No, I'm Nigel.

-No, you're Dick Whittington.

Stick to the script. Right, where are you off to, Dick?

-I'm going to London.

-That's right, to seek your fortune.

-No, I'm visiting my gran.

-What? What are you talking about?

You must have nerves.

You're going to seek your fortune and you need a companion.

Hang on a minute.

You need a cat. There we are.

-I don't need a cat.

-Oh, yes, you do.

-No, I don't.

-Go with it, love, go with it.

-Oh, yes, you do.

-You know what? I think I'm just going to walk.

What? Oh, dear. I think he's the understudy.

He must have first-night nerves.

You better go with him. Take care of him.

Oh, she's quick, isn't she?

-Mind you, she was in Cats for three months.

-Get off me. I'm allergic.

I love a happy ending.

That's a heavy book. It'll make a good doorstop. Lovely stuff.

Oh, hello, bookworms. Good to see you.

I'm Storybook Stan and welcome. Come on in to my storybook corner.

Today, we've got a very special wintry story for you.

It's all about a winter's day.

Lovely. Right, hang on a minute.

I think it's starting to snow.

Let's carry on regardless, shall we?

Two children were playing in the woods.

Yes, they were... Throwing snowballs was their favourite game.

Hey, hang on a minute.

But all the noise woke up the...

Oh, dear, the angry wolf.

WOLF HOWLS

Oh, deary me.

Now, the wolf liked throwing snowballs too.

What's going on? Oh, dear.

I think I'd better go before I get bombarded.

I'll see you next time, bookworms. Goodbye.

An important skill for any DIY expert,

is learning how to tile a bathroom wall.

First, make sure you have enough tiles to cover your entire wall.

Remember, tiles are delicate and will break if you drop them.

You'll also need some glue to stick the tiles to your wall.

Careful with that glue.

If you have an accident, just start again.

Take the glue and some tiles and start sticking them on to the wall.

A DIY expert knows how important it is to make sure

the tiles are in line with each other.

Take care and try not to rush.

It's important to take your time when tiling.

It's all about getting a neat and regular final result.

Once you've finished,

you should have a beautifully-tiled bathroom wall.

Give your tiles a gentle tap to make sure they are stuck on properly.

Be careful not to tap too hard.

Job done.

And now it's time for your giggles.

-What did the policeman say to his belly button?

-I don't know.

You're under a vest.

Come along, my group. That's it. Plenty more to see.

Oh, yes, this is a splendid piece.

This is a well. Don't touch.

It's not any old well. It's a wishing well.

Now in the olden days,

people used to cast coins into the well and make a wish.

Now, I'm afraid I don't carry cash as a rule.

Does anyone have any coins?

No? Oh, well that's unlucky.

We can't make any wishes without any coins. Oh, hang on a minute.

We're in luck, everyone.

I've just found this dirty old box and it's got some old coins in it.

There we are. Pass them on. That's it.

Everyone got one? Well done.

OK, simply throw them into the well and make a wish.

Lovely. That wasn't so hard, was it?

Excuse me, has anyone seen my collection of antique coins?

Well, no, I don't think we have. I'm sorry.

Oh, dear, they're very valuable.

-I left them in a wooden box on this table.

-Oh, what did you do that for?

That was a bit silly. They're not here now, are they?

While you're here, perhaps you'd like to join us and make a wish.

-What?

-Yes, have you got a coin?

There we are. Now just simply make your wish.

I wish I had my collection of antique coins back.

Well, don't go and tell us your wish.

It won't come true now, will it? You silly man.

Right, it's tea-time, everyone. Bagsie the choccy biccies.

It's silly time.

MUSIC PLAYS

There. Great stuff. Oh, hello.

Rapids Johnson, here

and the big news here in the wood is there's a bear about.

So, I've put these posters up,

so whoever spots the bear can give me a call on the old hammer,

I mean, give me a call on my old phone

and tell me exactly where the bear is.

I'll be ready. Oh, I say, it's ringing already. Great.

-Hello, yes, Rapids...

-Johnson.

-Johnson, thank you, here.

Yes, where's the bear?

Hello? I can't hear you very well. I'll try and get a better signal.

Is that any better? Oh, no, I'll try again.

Can you hear me? Hang on a minute.

Is that any better? Can you hear me?

Oh, this is hopeless. Goodbye. Oh, well, never mind.

That is frustrating.

But don't worry, I'll find that bear or my name's not Rapids...

-Johnson.

-Johnson. Keep them peeled. Call me.

Hello there. I'm Arthur Sleep with some breaking news.

A rhinoceros has escaped from the zoo

and he's running loose around town.

When asked what steps the public should take, if chased,

a policeman answered, "Very big ones."

Very big ones. You having that, Doreen? Big steps? Rhinoceros? No?

I don't know why I bother. And now this.

I still think they were hippos. I don't know. Look, wildlife lovers.

Look at what we've got here.

This is a beautiful... I know this.

-I saw it in a book.

-Meerkats.

-Yes, that's right. Meerkats, yes.

Although they look more like dogs to me. These... What was it again?

-Meerkats.

-Meerkats.

Well, they crouch on all fours like this, you see,

and then all of a sudden with their teeth, they pop up like that,

stand up on their two hind legs and say, "Look at me."

"Although I'm just a mere cat, I can still smile and be funny

"and tell jokes."

No, no, they do that because they're on the lookout for danger.

As well as saying I'm funny and tell jokes. That's right.

Write that down. You don't have to say about the danger bit.

Shall we try that? Yeah? All right. Let's all be meerkats, OK.

Crouch down, meerkats, that's it.

All of a sudden, I'll pop up to show you.

I'll pop up and say, oh, look, there is some danger, danger, danger.

Run and hide, run and hide.

Go on, off you go. Don't worry, I'm the lookout.

Oh, hang on a minute. Wildlife lovers? Where have they gone?

-They're not coming back.

-Oh, oh, well. Their loss.

Right, come on. Moving on to the next lovely animals.

Oh, I love my job. Oh, look, a shoal of tigers.

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

# Cheerio, ta-ta bye-bye

# Farwell, TTFN Arrivederci

# We all hate to say goodbye

# But we'll be back again

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na It's time to go

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

Ho-ho!