Rav Wilding Hacker Time


Rav Wilding

Fun, chat and music from Hacker T Dog, featuring Hero Squad and Crimewatch presenter Rav Wilding.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

Today's Hacker Time was formerly known as Tomorrow's Hacker Time...

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yesterday.

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Morning, all! Hoo-hoo! Heh-hey!

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T...

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I don't believe it!

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We've been... We've been...

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We've been...

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very slack on the cleaning rota this week.

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Hoo-hoo! What a mess!

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Well, I AM trying to tidy up, Derek.

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-Lolly! Are you all right in all that detritus?

-I'm fine.

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It's Herman you ought to be worried about.

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Save yourselves! It's too late for me.

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Fair enough. I'd better see what state the kitchen's in.

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I can't function without my nutty granola. Hoo-hoo!

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Wilf! What's going on in here?

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Well, I'm trying to wash up, aren't I, but there isn't much room.

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I'm a mushroom. I've just grown from this tea towel.

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Right, get this cleaned up, Wilf, or we'll get rats as well.

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We already have.

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Yes, and I'm going somewhere much cleaner.

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My dirty, festering sewer.

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-HE SNIFFS

-What's that rancid smell?

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Hacker! Mm!

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But it's not me. It's your feet, Derek.

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It can't be. I put new socks on every day.

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I know, but you're supposed to take the old ones off first.

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HACKER LAUGHS

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Well, at least for once I'm not the butt of the joke.

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Run titles, ho-ho!

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You gonna watch this?

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You gotta watch this!

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You gotta watch this!

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-HE RAPS:

-My, my, my, my programme hits you

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So hard Makes me say, "Oh, my word!"

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Thank you for watching me

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It's telly, but not what you normally see

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It feels good, there's outtakes too Comedy, guests and clips, it's true

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So sit back - don't move too much

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This is the show - ah! - you can't touch.

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-Stop!

-Hacker Time!

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Thank you.

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Stand by, everyone. We're on air in five...

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four, three, two, one.

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Cue Larry!

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Ladies and gentlemen,

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make as much noise as you can muster for the one, the only...

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Hacker T Dog!

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Good day, cockers. Today's show is all about crime.

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Which is just as well,

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because most of the jokes are pinched from old Christmas crackers.

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That's why I'm wearing this fetching hat.

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That reminds me, Derek. How's next week's script coming along?

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There's only one way to find out. Hoo-hoo!

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Anyway, today's guest is a detective who says he knows all about crime.

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But he hasn't managed to detect that he's coming here.

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-Yeah, hi.

-Hello.

-I'm Rav Wilding.

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I'm here for an important interview for a public service broadcast.

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Lovely, step this way, Ralph. Get in the booth.

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I need to take a new photograph for your security pass.

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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on. That says "Guild of Fake Security Guards".

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-What's all that about?

-That's a typo, yeah.

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Now, get in the booth! Get in the booth, Ralph.

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-I'm not sure about this.

-Go on, Ralph. Shut the curtains.

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-Are you sure?

-Shut 'em. Shut 'em right closed, yeah.

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Shut the doors. There's Ralph Wildboar. Yeah.

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KLAXON BLARES

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HE CHUCKLES

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Let me out of here! What's going on?

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-Oh, come on.

-HACKER WHISTLES

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Whoa!

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Please welcome former policeman and crime expert Rav Wilding!

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-Welcome to Hacker Time, Rav!

-Oh, I'm out of here.

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Whoa, whoa. Don't go. There's a juicy whodunnit to solve.

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Ohh... Go on, then.

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The crime is...this smell.

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PARP

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Oh! That's a pretty easy one to solve.

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You are the prime suspect.

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You've cracked the case! I'll come along quietly, Rav.

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-PARP

-Ooh. Maybe I won't!

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Derek, the fact file.

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Oh, I can smell that in here.

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No, Derek, that's your foot.

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Oh, yeah.

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Rav Wilding is a former soldier and police detective

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and was a presenter on CBBC's action-packed show Hero Squad.

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He also presented on Crimewatch, where his undercover policing skills

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helped him blend in with the furniture.

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He competed on Strictly Come Dancing,

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but his performance was worse than his shirt.

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He got voted off in week three.

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And that's all you'll ever need to know about Rav Wilding. Whoo-hoo!

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Police! The Army. Hero Squad.

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-What a tedious life you lead.

-Oi!

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Larry, sprinkle some glitter on this dullard, will you?

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Stay tuned, because today's show is really arresting.

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Coming up, Ms Marbles puts her best foot forward.

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Derek puts his worst foot forward.

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And Hacker has to hotfoot it from the law.

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All this and more on Hacker Time.

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Rav Wilding, if that is your real name...

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-Of course it's my real name.

-Whoa, whoa. I'll do the talking.

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I'm doing the good cop, bad cop bit. Would you like a cup of tea?

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-That sounds very nice, thank you.

-Does this look like a cafe?

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-No.

-No need to answer. It was a rhetorical question.

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I was in the guise of bad cop.

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Now, Rav, where were you on the night of 11th August 2014?

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-I don't know!

-You were doing this.

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It's a photo of the night you learnt to tie your shoelaces, aged 28.

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Look how pleased you are with yourself.

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-Oh, very nice.

-Are you proud of yourself?

-Very!

-You should be.

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Do you remember that time when you were so bad at dancing,

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you just laid down on the floor and had a jolly good laugh about it?

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-Do you like it?

-Yeah.

-Now, Rav, have you ever been undercover?

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-Yes.

-Really?

-Of course.

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I don't like being undercover.

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I prefer to sleep on top of the sheets.

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I have terrible night sweats,

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because my thermostat's on the blink.

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So, Rav, what's all this money laundering

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I've heard so much about?

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Money laundering's basically when criminals hide proceeds of crime

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under the name of a fake business.

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Between you and me, I think my mum's been laundering money.

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# Ba-baa-baa ba-baa

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# Ba-ba-ba. #

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-That's not money laundering!

-Oh, but it is.

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She opened that laundry business

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to cover up all the cash she nicked from Herman.

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Oh, that gigantic £5, that was all I had in this world.

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One thing I like about crime shows

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is when they do those reconstructions.

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Tell me about them, Rav.

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Well, that's basically when we recreate an incident

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so that, hopefully, it will jog people's memories

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so they can get in touch if they remember what happened.

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Oooh. Let's reconstruct that question.

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Now, then, this reconstruction business, what is it?

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Well, we'd recreate an incident

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in the hope that it would jog people's memories

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so that they could get in touch.

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What he said.

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If you have any information

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that could lead to solving these terrible crimes against humour...

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..er, or you've seen the whereabouts of our telephone, then call...

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Oh, hang on, you can't, can you?

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Moving on... Rav, have you ever had a stakeout?

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I've worked on stakeouts.

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Wilf and I had a STEAK out last night.

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Mine was supposed to be medium rare, but the blighter singed it.

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Do you remember the time I judged your food on Celebrity MasterChef?

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No, I don't remember that.

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Feast your mince-pie eyes on this key lime pie, me old chai.

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No.

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Let's move on to this.

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I think it's perfectly balanced. I think it looks fantastic.

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-I really like it. Like, really, really like it.

-Are you sure, John?

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It looks horrific. Oh, right, then. Let me have a go.

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Oh, it's harder than it looks, this. Gregg, can you take over, mate?

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Buttery, gingery biscuit, sweetness and lime sharpness as well.

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That is very, very yummy.

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-Thank you.

-You could serve that up in a restaurant.

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-Are you sure, Gregg? It looks abominable.

-Thank you.

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-Now, listen, how important is response time?

-Oh, it's very...

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Too slow! I'm afraid you did not respond quickly enough,

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and that has put the life of this interview at risk, my dear.

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At risk, I tell you.

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You've risk-ed my interview and I will not allow it.

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Bad cop there kicking in again.

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Now, you've worked with all the emergency services on Hero Squad.

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Which is the best emergency service?

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I'm going to be biased.

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-I'll probably say the police.

-Good choice, cocker.

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But my favourite emergency service is now the coastguard.

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I remember when Derek was a coastguard.

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Coastguard, there's someone in distress.

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Why are you running so slowly?

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It's me massive socks. They've become waterlogged.

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Now, Rav, fingerprints are important, aren't they?

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Oh, very, very important. Yes.

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Well, I've got my own finger-PRINCE.

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I need to leave. I have to attend the state opening of palm-liament.

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All right, go away. Get out of my sight. Back to cop stuff.

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I love it on your show when people's faces are blurred out

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because people don't want to be seen on the programme.

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Imagine not wanting to be seen on a television programme, Lolly.

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Yeah, imagine that.

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Lorraine, where's your loyalty?

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Wilding, you sicken me.

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Larry, cut away from these ungrateful so-and-sos.

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Get your magnifying glasses at the ready.

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It's time for the Ms Marbles Mysteries.

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-Hello.

-MUTTERS

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Whoo-hoo!

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How do!

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You all right, yeah? Ahh!

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CRASH!

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WHISTLES JAUNTILY

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-I'd like a return ticket.

-Oh, return, yeah. Well, here you go.

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Now, could you return it, please?

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-Where would you like to go?

-How about Ramsbottom?

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Baa!

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No, not you. I was on about the place.

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Oh, sorry, madam. We don't do PLAICE.

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Only the trout.

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-These are very old jokes.

-Yeah, they all got delayed at Crewe.

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Ms Marbles, what are you doing standing on this platform?

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Because I wasn't concentrating when I put my espadrilles on. Look.

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DISCO MUSIC PLAYS

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No. What are you doing standing on this station platform?

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Oh, because I'm travelling to the National Skirting Board Museum.

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They've got a special exhibit on bevelled chamfers. Yes!

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-Imagine such a thing!

-Oh, well, mind how you go.

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We've reason to believe there's a... murmurer on the loose.

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-A...murmurer?

-Yes. A murmurer.

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He's been terrorising the national railways for quite some time now.

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But what does this...

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-GULPS

-..murmurer do?

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Well...

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-He comes up to you slowly.

-Really slowly.

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And he puts his hand on your shoulder.

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-He...

-He what?

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-He murmurs really terrible jokes in your ear.

-That sounds horrific.

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I don't think I'll ever get on a train again.

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WHISTLE BLOWS

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-All aboard.

-Oh, look, a train. I must get on it.

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-Skirting boards, here I come.

-TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

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-Oh, Ms Marbles, there's something else I must tell you.

-Yes?

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-Something I've been meaning to tell you for quite some time.

-Yes?

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-Something that will have a great effect on your life.

-Yes?

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TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

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I found your suitcase. You left it on the platform.

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I wonder what he wanted.

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Ooh! This looks like a nice, friendly carriage.

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Ah! There we are. The murmurer will never get me here.

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I say, I say, I say.

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SCREAMS

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You're going to have to move, madam. These seats are reserved.

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-Are they?

-I'm afraid we are.

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We're so reserved, we didn't like to say anything.

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Oh.

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Ah! Ha-ha! Well, the murmurer definitely won't strike here.

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TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

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Did you hear the one about the...

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SCREAMS

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-..selection of refreshments we have on offer today?

-Ohh!

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It's just another red herring.

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Hm? Oh, no.

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It's the trout from the ticket office.

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Well, at least there's still no sign of the murmurer.

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A funny thing happened to me on the way here.

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SCREAMS

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I found your suitcase on the platform.

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-I've been chasing this train for 78 miles.

-Oh, Constable Haywain!

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-I knew it all along.

-You knew?

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Yeah, I set the whole thing up, cocker.

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-Well, why?

-So that you'd accompany me to the Skirting Board Museum.

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Now we can literally watch paint dry together.

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Still, at least there's no sign of that murmurer.

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I say, I say, I say. My dog has no nose.

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How does he smell?

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Of trout.

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Oh, I'd rather watch paint dry.

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Oh, I wonder what's been posted on YouBend today.

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-I saw a great fitness vlog earlier.

-A fitness vlog?

-Mm.

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-Well, that sounds strenuous.

-It is. But it's sure worth it.

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Check out my biceps.

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Ohh.

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Hello, fitness fans. Today, I wanted to vlog about running.

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A lot of my followers often ask,

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"Dennis, how do you train to run a marathon?"

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Firstly, my name's not Dennis.

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Secondly, it's all about a spicy curry diet. The spicier, the better.

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Mm. I...

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I find that that works perfectly.

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I'm really sorry. I must away.

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Oooh-ooh-ooh!

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Hang on. What's eating all that curry got to do with exercise?

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Oh-ho! More than you think, Lorraine.

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Since I had that prawn bhuna, I haven't stopped running.

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To the toilet!

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Gotta dash. Hoo-hoo!

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Keep on running.

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Now, Rav, I've got a question for you.

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-Why won't you leave me alone in the past?

-Eh?

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Well, I keep trying to do an honest day's ducking and diving.

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You know, like they used to do in the old films and that?

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-And you keep sticking your oar in.

-I don't know what you're on about.

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Then I shall explain it to you via the medium of a little ditty of woe.

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-PIANO PLAYS

-Hey.

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# I was just loitering on the high street one day

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# Looking for someone stupid to scam

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# When comes this likely lad just a-whistling along

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# I tried to sell him half a used ham

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# But it turned out he was a cop

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# He followed me, now I'm on the hop

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# Wilding's his name, he never stops

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# When he's around Well, my scams all flop

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# Fast forward to Sunday and I'm hanging around

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# Trying to flog someone this old stick

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# I look behind me and like a bad smell, he's there

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# To get one past Rav Wilding, be quick

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# I said to get one past Rav Wilding, be quick

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# All together now! To get one past Rav Wilding, be quick

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# Quick, quickety-quick, yes. #

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-Eh?

-Hey!

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-Very good!

-Good, wasn't it? So, stop sticking your nose in.

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In business completely unrelated to what you've just seen and heard,

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would you like to purchase some premium ham?

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Yeah, go on, then.

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Ha-ha! What a mug!

0:17:190:17:21

Larry, what's coming up?

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Oh... I think it's the ham.

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This show is as complex as a three-year fraud investigation.

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And much less funny. Coming up...

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Rav says something unusual to himself.

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I think I've just smelt your parallelograms.

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-Hacker makes an exhibition of himself.

-This won't distract anyone.

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And Wilf condemns himself.

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All this still to come on Hacker Time.

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Now, then, Rav, just explain this to me once more.

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-Someone who commits a cybercrime is called a...

-Hacker.

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Just let me finish, will you?

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Somebody who breaks into a computer system is known as a...

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-Hacker.

-Let me finish!

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BELL RINGS

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Nope, it's gone. Maybe some food will help.

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# La-la-la-la, grub. #

0:18:090:18:11

Oooh. Oooh. Oooh. I hope it's tagine.

0:18:110:18:14

Hacker? Guys? Guys!

0:18:140:18:17

Wilf, everything's got to be perfect today. I've had a tip-off.

0:18:220:18:25

-The food inspector's coming.

-I've got a feeling he's nearby.

0:18:250:18:30

I think you're right, Wilf. This might be him coming now.

0:18:300:18:32

-I'll try the sponge and custard.

-Oh, yes, he's going to like this.

0:18:340:18:38

I bet he'll love it, I bet he does. Yeah, yeah.

0:18:380:18:42

This custard is perfect.

0:18:420:18:45

Oh! Eh!

0:18:450:18:47

For a bit of grouting.

0:18:470:18:49

Oh, does this mean we've failed the inspection, then?

0:18:490:18:53

No! No, my dear lady. You've passed.

0:18:530:18:56

But, Mr Food Inspector, I don't understand.

0:18:560:18:59

I'm not the food inspector. Oh, no, no, no. I'm the building inspector.

0:18:590:19:05

Oh, your wares are divine.

0:19:050:19:08

Yes, I'd use your sponge for cement on my building site any day.

0:19:080:19:11

But if you're the building inspector, who's the food inspector?

0:19:110:19:16

-That's me, isn't it? I've done a course.

-That makes no sense.

0:19:160:19:21

Then neither will this.

0:19:210:19:22

I'm shutting us down.

0:19:220:19:24

Wilfred!

0:19:240:19:26

Our livelihood!

0:19:260:19:29

-Ohhh!

-Oh, yeah.

0:19:290:19:32

I'll fire up the van.

0:19:320:19:34

BELL RINGS

0:19:340:19:36

HE BURPS Oh, 'scuse I!

0:19:360:19:39

Hacker Time is proud to present...

0:19:390:19:41

Welcome to my survival guide. I'm Rav Wilding.

0:19:460:19:49

And this is Hero And Zero.

0:19:490:19:52

-I'm the hero.

-Oh, great. I'm not going along with this.

0:19:520:19:56

That implies I'm the zero, doesn't it? I'm not having it.

0:19:560:19:59

Always make sure your nearest source of running water.

0:20:020:20:05

WATER TRICKLES

0:20:050:20:06

-As you can hear, we're near a mountain stream.

-That's the ticket.

0:20:060:20:10

-Just releasing all of this liquid.

-Hacker!

-Sorry, Rav.

0:20:100:20:15

-I was just pouring a nice drink for you from this kettle.

-Ohh! OK.

0:20:150:20:19

-Thanks, Hacker.

-That's all right.

0:20:190:20:20

Now, hydration is very important, and this water has been filtered

0:20:200:20:24

through layers and layers of mountain rock,

0:20:240:20:26

so it's full of natural goodness.

0:20:260:20:28

Yeah, that mountain water's had an extra level of filtering.

0:20:280:20:31

-Through a dog.

-Oh, Hacker!

-It's all right, Rav.

0:20:310:20:35

-It's very important to have three square meals a day.

-Oh, no.

0:20:400:20:44

I've only packed these parallelogram-shaped meals.

0:20:440:20:47

I can't believe it.

0:20:470:20:49

Well, cooking's a lot easier if you have gas.

0:20:490:20:52

-Hacker, did you bring the gas?

-No, I've got electric.

0:20:520:20:56

GUITAR RIFF

0:20:560:21:00

Hang on a minute. How are you powering that electric guitar?

0:21:000:21:04

-Oh, using gas.

-So you HAVE got gas?

-Always, my dear.

0:21:040:21:09

PARP

0:21:090:21:12

RAV GROANS

0:21:120:21:13

Hacker! I think I've just smelt your parallelograms.

0:21:130:21:17

Stars can be really important for navigation.

0:21:220:21:25

-If you look up, you can see Orion's Belt.

-Hang on.

0:21:250:21:29

If that's Orion's Belt, how do his trousers stay up?

0:21:290:21:32

Oh! Now I can see the moon.

0:21:340:21:36

At night, make sure you've got a sleeping bag.

0:21:430:21:46

I don't know how this is helping.

0:21:460:21:49

SNORING Ohh!

0:21:490:21:51

Well, for a little extra comfort, you can also use an inflatable bed.

0:21:510:21:55

-But first, you just need to blow it up.

-Done and done.

0:21:550:21:59

Now you've really gone and done it. You've woken up the sleeping bag!

0:22:020:22:06

Oh! I've just had a terrible nightmare.

0:22:060:22:10

I was on Hacker Time.

0:22:100:22:12

Thank you!

0:22:120:22:14

If you like second-rate imitation then you'll love this.

0:22:160:22:20

It's the Quarter Past 4 O'Clock Club.

0:22:200:22:23

-Ah, it's all right, this, innit, eh?

-Josh, what on earth is that?

0:22:250:22:29

I think it's a haddock sandwich.

0:22:290:22:32

No, this haircut.

0:22:320:22:34

-You know it breaks all the rules.

-Oh, get over it.

0:22:340:22:38

# In the classroom it's the only way

0:22:380:22:40

# To show the world my personality

0:22:400:22:42

# So now, thanks, we've had enough talk

0:22:420:22:45

# About my atomic purple mohawk

0:22:450:22:47

# Bad news for you, Josh You know the rule

0:22:470:22:49

# Haircuts aren't allowed to distract the whole school

0:22:490:22:52

# Uniform's important I have to stress

0:22:520:22:54

# But, seriously, mate You look like a mess

0:22:540:22:57

# I look like a mess? Ha! As if!

0:22:570:22:58

# You wouldn't say that about Jedward's quiffs

0:22:580:23:01

# Wacky haircuts are simply top-notch

0:23:010:23:03

# If you don't believe me, huargh! Just watch

0:23:030:23:06

# Oh, yeah, we all love hair

0:23:060:23:08

# Style it up like you just don't care

0:23:080:23:10

# Mullets, Afros and even curls

0:23:100:23:12

# What about plaits like Cumberland swirls?

0:23:120:23:15

# Get your blow dryer and a comb at once

0:23:150:23:17

# Wear a pineapple on your bonce

0:23:170:23:19

# Make those people stop and stare

0:23:190:23:21

# At your finely waxed and blow-dried coiffure

0:23:210:23:24

# Thanks for the lesson on hair and style

0:23:240:23:26

# But that beehive breaks the rules by a country mile

0:23:260:23:28

# It's putting the class off A total eyesore

0:23:280:23:31

# Get to the barber's by half past four

0:23:310:23:33

# Think short back and sides Not French Revolution

0:23:330:23:35

# In the meantime We need a solution

0:23:350:23:37

# If it's a problem I'll put on my hat

0:23:370:23:40

# Great idea, do just that. #

0:23:400:23:42

HORN HONKS

0:23:420:23:43

This won't distract anyone.

0:23:430:23:46

HORN HONKS

0:23:460:23:48

Ladies and gentlemen,

0:23:500:23:51

hold on to your hats as we come to the gripping climax of today's show,

0:23:510:23:56

the quiz that we like to call...

0:23:560:23:59

Sit On My Lav-Lav And Answer Some Questions.

0:23:590:24:01

TOILET FLUSHES

0:24:050:24:08

Rav, the rules of this game are simple. All you have to do is...

0:24:080:24:12

TOILET FLUSHES

0:24:150:24:16

..sit on the bog and answer some questions.

0:24:160:24:19

The time will end when you hear this sound.

0:24:190:24:21

Oh, why did you wake me up?

0:24:210:24:24

-Are you ready?

-Ready.

-In that case, start the clock.

0:24:240:24:28

In the police force, what's a PC?

0:24:280:24:32

A police constable.

0:24:320:24:34

No, sorry, it's a computer, obviously.

0:24:340:24:36

Herman has disguised this piece of sporting equipment

0:24:360:24:39

as a famous crime-fighter, but who is it?

0:24:390:24:41

-Batman.

-No, it's Super Cricket Utensil.

0:24:410:24:46

Go away, Herman. Good, that, wasn't it?

0:24:460:24:48

Complete this well-known catchphrase.

0:24:480:24:50

Goodnight and don't have...

0:24:500:24:52

-Nightmares.

-No. It's "the cheeseboard before bedtime".

0:24:520:24:55

It's now time for the music round.

0:24:550:24:57

Welcome my chum, and soon to be yours - Accordion George.

0:24:570:25:01

# It's Accordion George

0:25:010:25:03

# Accy G, acc, acc, acc. #

0:25:030:25:06

You, Rav, must guess what popular tune he's playing.

0:25:060:25:09

Take it away, the big G.

0:25:090:25:11

ACCORDION GEORGE PLAYS A POP TUNE

0:25:110:25:14

Well done, Accy G, that was atrocious. Rav, what was that?

0:25:240:25:28

It's, um...

0:25:280:25:29

-It's on the tip of my tongue.

-Let's have a look.

0:25:290:25:31

# The players gonna play, play, play, play, play

0:25:310:25:34

# And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

0:25:340:25:37

# Shake it off, shake it off... #

0:25:370:25:39

The correct answer was Shake It Off by Taylor Swift.

0:25:390:25:42

You were very, very bad at that,

0:25:420:25:44

but to be fair, Accy G was rubbish playing that.

0:25:440:25:46

Have you got cream cheese forced into your air bag or something?

0:25:460:25:50

You want to get that thing MOTed. Get away! And take your stool.

0:25:500:25:54

I'm shaking you off like Taylor Swift should have done. Right...

0:25:540:25:57

Porridge and bird are other names for what?

0:25:570:26:00

A prison sentence.

0:26:000:26:02

No, it was oatmeal and ornithological creatures.

0:26:020:26:05

-Oh, why did you wake me up?

-That's the end.

0:26:050:26:07

That's the end of the thing.

0:26:070:26:08

-That means you've won tonight's star prize.

-Yay!

0:26:080:26:12

Six premium crisps in various states of decay.

0:26:120:26:15

Flavours will vary. Crisps stale. Bag not included.

0:26:150:26:18

-Brilliant, thank you(!)

-Yeah.

0:26:180:26:20

Well, it's your lucky day, Rav, because you've also won a holiday.

0:26:200:26:24

-Yay!

-Yes, a day trip for one to the sewers 'neath the studio.

0:26:240:26:28

Have you got any last words before you go, Rav?

0:26:280:26:30

Hey-hey! Herman, flush him away.

0:26:320:26:34

TOILET FLUSHES

0:26:350:26:37

What a delightful talking bag of muscles that was.

0:26:370:26:40

I would have loved to have chatted for longer,

0:26:400:26:42

but I must away to purloin a sheet of medium-density fibreboard

0:26:420:26:45

and some appropriate sealant.

0:26:450:26:47

But first, I shall sing my terrible song. Join in if you know the words.

0:26:470:26:51

# That is it for now The end of the show

0:26:560:26:58

# I need the lav-lav so I'm going to go

0:26:580:27:01

# I'll see you next time on this show of mine

0:27:010:27:03

# Put it in your diary - it's called Hacker Time

0:27:030:27:05

# It's been amazing We've been larking around

0:27:050:27:08

# The whole programme cost just under a pound

0:27:080:27:10

# Watch again next time cos we've got much more

0:27:100:27:12

# There'll be tons of other funny stuff - it will be top drawer

0:27:120:27:15

# Rav Wilding, the former cop, helped me out with a camping guide

0:27:150:27:20

# We learnt how to navigate and I made him a lovely drink

0:27:200:27:23

# Which was a moment of personal pride

0:27:230:27:25

# That is it for now The end of the show

0:27:250:27:27

# I need the lav-lav so I'm going to go

0:27:270:27:29

# I'll see you next time on this show of mine

0:27:290:27:32

# Put it in your diary - it's called Hacker Time

0:27:320:27:34

# Put it in your diary - it's called Hacker Time

0:27:340:27:37

# That is the end of today's Hacker Time. #

0:27:370:27:39

If you've been affected by any of the jokes in this episode

0:27:390:27:42

then congratulations!

0:27:420:27:44

Fun, chat and music from Hacker T Dog. Featuring the drama series The Ms Marbles Mysteries, with Simon Lowe from 4 O'Clock Club as Constable Haywain. Kay Purcell plays Mrs Breadbin in the catering van sketch, and Ortis Deley takes up the role as Dexter in The Quarter Past 4 O'Clock Club.

This episode features Hero Squad and Crimewatch presenter Rav Wilding.


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