Episode 8 Hacker's Olympic Rundown

Time for more of my Olympics nonsense.

Union Jack faced man enjoys gymnastics.

Commentator smuggles chicken into booth.

And, Ore Oduba let down by his only fan.

Jason Kenny equalled Chris Hoy's record of six Hold medals

But the race did have to be restarted twice after this pizza

delivery boy took a wrong turning and ended up on the track.

I wonder which mooey gave him those directions?

One deep pan meat paste and spinach feast.

Now, go back to Rio and make me another.

Jason's race was delayed for so long that the spectators started to camp

Regular viewers will remember Clare Balding's back receiving a lot

Got a lovely photograph of Clare's back there. That's a good one, isn't

it. Well, it made Jason Kenny's back

very jealous, so it suddenly tried Mind you, that in turn

really upset his bottom. They really follow you

around the Velodrome. But Jason's bottom wasn't the only

thing that was sad. Why do people keep dropping

in to me? It was also a historic

night for Laura Trott My roving reporter, Wilf,

has been close to the action. Wilf, did you know that Laura

and Jason are engaged? I've been trying to get hold of them

all night for an interview. They're probably on the phone

and planning their wedding. I was also impressed

that the commentators were watching Hacker's Olympic

Rundown between races. might have to do it on your own.

Maybe another three minutes. Oh, well, I wonder what

Laura thought? I'm sure Clare Balding has enjoyed

all the jokes we've made her. Did anyone see that discus player

visit those cameramen in prison? Don't worry, guys, I've smuggled

a file inside this discus. Do you know what I really find

enjoyable? She's nearly fallen over, she like

it is though. Gymnastics next, and there

was a tinkler on the floor. Don't worry, it was Team GB's

Amy Tinkler, who won Bronze You thought I was going to do

a joke about tinkling Well, I'm better than that -

so shame on you! Anyway, I did like the new medal

podium they used last night. There you have confirmation of the

Women's Floor Finals. Mind you, the competition looks

like it's taking its toll on Simone Simone Biles drive for five came to

an end today. And now it's time for my

favourite lingering shot We can see your feet at the moment,

which is lovely. We were treated to the mother

of all pole vaulting competitions. And, I'm very pleased to say that

we're about to be treated to the mother of all pole

vaulting competitions, too. Hello, I'm the mother

of all pole vaulting competitions. It looks like my new

pizza's on its way. Let's go and eat this meat paste

and spinach pizza. I've also invited Jason Kenny's

distressed bottom from earlier. Right, by my reckoning,

there's only one unresolved joke Turns out I'm not better

than that after all!