Episode 1 Hacker's Winter Olympic Rundown


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Episode 1

Hacker T Dog takes a look back at the opening weekend of the Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang... in his own unique way!


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Transcript


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Cold spots!

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Huzzah!

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It's the Winter Olympics!

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Today's top stories...

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Escalator breaks down

at Opening Ceremony.

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The escalator isn't working, I'll

never get to the discount warehouse

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now!

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Norweigan disappointed to not be

snowboarding on paper.

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There is no one in the world better

than Marcus Cleveland, and paper.

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Felix Loch's coach forgets phone

but carries on anyway.

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Felix Loch goes on 47.50 six. Felix

Loch.

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And Radzi uses chair for first time.

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OK, I've never sat in one of these

before.

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Yes, it was the opening weekend

of sporting action in South Korea.

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Hey, didn't you think those

background dancers at the

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Opening Ceremony were

a bit distracting...?

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He could and should perhaps in their

first-ever...

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You'd never find me being upstaged

by uninspiring coreography...

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Anyway, during the parade

the countries put on quite a show.

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There were hundreds of Americans...

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A greased up Tongan...

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And as for Bemuda...

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I wonder what they had in store?

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One of the big stories this weekend

was the tummy bug that

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was going round.

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Team GB's Elise Chrisite,

and the rest of

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the speed skaters,

were the first to be affected.

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Come on I've got to get to the

lavvie, hurry up!

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Luckily, BBC pundit Amy Williams had

some helpful advice.

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Just get that one run under your

belt, I'm fine, let's relax now, let

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the Butterfly settled to the bottom

of it more.

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But it was no wonder their bowles

were loose -

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with all the fresh fruit

that was available.

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First there was this.

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360 melon grab.

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...And then there was this!

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The young Kiwi absolutely smashed

it.

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I wonder what the young

kiwi smashed?

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I smashed that melon, of course.

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It was upstaging me.

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I hate it when that happens!

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Anyway, now it's time

for my favourite reaction to

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discussion of the colour teal.

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What colour would you call that kind

of turquoise?

Am going to go for

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teal.

Are you really?

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I'm glad the BBC's experts

really know their stuff.

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Yeah, I'm not a snowboarder and I

know professional, but looking at

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it, it looked really good.

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No, I love Amy Williams really,

but I have heard a rumour

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that she will only stand

on yellow carpet.

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Good luck with that and thank you

for all of your insight.

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Bit odd.

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Now, I was surprised

to hear the commentators

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talking about facial

hair removal so much.

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Despite all the resources the

Norwegian team have got at their

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disposal, they got their waxing very

wrong.

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You're telling me!

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Have a look at this fella!

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Robert Jansson and his moustache go

to the starting gate.

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It seemed like everyone

was cheering on his moustache -

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even in other sports.

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Krueger from Musgrave, come on,

Muzzy!

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It's no surprise, though,

because the moustache was the key

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to his success.

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The aerodynamics on the moustache

have paid off because that is a

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fantastic jump from the Norwegian!

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That still seems a bit

daft to me, though.

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Can a moustache really

help you go faster?

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Well, it's certainly helped me!

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Wahey!

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Stop upstaging me!

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Before we go, just time

for some breaking news.

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We find out why we shout weeeeee

down the course.

He needs a number

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one when he gets down the bottom.

Number one means wee.

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Austrian luger hopes

for yellow snow.

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SNORING

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You won.

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And Team GB's Elise Christie briefly

holds new Olympic Record.

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She won that heat at the time it was

an Olympic record. It didn't last

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long, she was just beaten by a

fraction.

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You'd never find anyone getting

beaten by a fraction round here.

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Hooray, I've won!

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This moustache is worthless!

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Stop upstaging me!

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Ooh!

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See you tomorrow!

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