Hacker T Dog takes a look back at the opening weekend of the Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang... in his own unique way!
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It's the Winter Olympics!
Today's top stories...
Escalator breaks down
at Opening Ceremony.
The escalator isn't working, I'll
never get to the discount warehouse
Norweigan disappointed to not be
snowboarding on paper.
There is no one in the world better
than Marcus Cleveland, and paper.
Felix Loch's coach forgets phone
but carries on anyway.
Felix Loch goes on 47.50 six. Felix
And Radzi uses chair for first time.
OK, I've never sat in one of these
Yes, it was the opening weekend
of sporting action in South Korea.
Hey, didn't you think those
background dancers at the
Opening Ceremony were
a bit distracting...?
He could and should perhaps in their
You'd never find me being upstaged
by uninspiring coreography...
Anyway, during the parade
the countries put on quite a show.
There were hundreds of Americans...
A greased up Tongan...
And as for Bemuda...
I wonder what they had in store?
One of the big stories this weekend
was the tummy bug that
was going round.
Team GB's Elise Chrisite,
and the rest of
the speed skaters,
were the first to be affected.
Come on I've got to get to the
lavvie, hurry up!
Luckily, BBC pundit Amy Williams had
some helpful advice.
Just get that one run under your
belt, I'm fine, let's relax now, let
the Butterfly settled to the bottom
of it more.
But it was no wonder their bowles
were loose -
with all the fresh fruit
that was available.
First there was this.
360 melon grab.
...And then there was this!
The young Kiwi absolutely smashed
I wonder what the young
I smashed that melon, of course.
It was upstaging me.
I hate it when that happens!
Anyway, now it's time
for my favourite reaction to
discussion of the colour teal.
What colour would you call that kind
Am going to go for
Are you really?
I'm glad the BBC's experts
really know their stuff.
Yeah, I'm not a snowboarder and I
know professional, but looking at
it, it looked really good.
No, I love Amy Williams really,
but I have heard a rumour
that she will only stand
on yellow carpet.
Good luck with that and thank you
for all of your insight.
Now, I was surprised
to hear the commentators
talking about facial
hair removal so much.
Despite all the resources the
Norwegian team have got at their
disposal, they got their waxing very
You're telling me!
Have a look at this fella!
Robert Jansson and his moustache go
to the starting gate.
It seemed like everyone
was cheering on his moustache -
even in other sports.
Krueger from Musgrave, come on,
It's no surprise, though,
because the moustache was the key
to his success.
The aerodynamics on the moustache
have paid off because that is a
fantastic jump from the Norwegian!
That still seems a bit
daft to me, though.
Can a moustache really
help you go faster?
Well, it's certainly helped me!
Stop upstaging me!
Before we go, just time
for some breaking news.
We find out why we shout weeeeee
down the course.
He needs a number
one when he gets down the bottom.
Number one means wee.
Austrian luger hopes
for yellow snow.
And Team GB's Elise Christie briefly
holds new Olympic Record.
She won that heat at the time it was
an Olympic record. It didn't last
long, she was just beaten by a
You'd never find anyone getting
beaten by a fraction round here.
Hooray, I've won!
This moustache is worthless!
Stop upstaging me!
See you tomorrow!