Red Moon Rising Half Moon Investigations

'The name's Moon - well, everyone calls me Half Moon.

'Actually, I'm Detective Moon.

'Hang on...that's not me, that's Red Sharkey. More about him later.

'That's me under his bed.

'Why am I here? Well, it all started the morning I got my badge.

'This is where I live, and this is my bedroom.

'As it happens, I'm the most recent graduate

'of Bob Bernstein's Online Academy For Investigative Excellence.

'It's taken two long years of blood, sweat and tears to get there,

'learning everything from fingerprinting to forensics,

'criminology to crime scenes.

'Only the toughest succeed

'and only the toughest are rewarded with one of these little beauties.

'This isn't a badge, it's a weapon in the fight for truth and justice.

'Play time is over, it's time to go to work.'

Fletch, hurry up or you'll be late for school.

Coming, Mum.

'This is my school. You've got all of your regular tribes,

'Goths and emos...

'..skaters...

'..prefects...

'punks and metalheads.

'Oh, and April and her Pinks.

'Stand still for too long and you're just another crime statistic.

'That's Red again...top of St Jerome's most wanted list...

'but facing stiff competition from sister Genie.'

Hand it over.

'And brother, Herod.

'Word in the yard is mum's doing a stretch in Holloway

'and Papa Sharkey is on parole.

'Talking about crime,

'let me put you in the picture.

'There's always a mystery to solve at St Jerome's.

'We've got blackmail and bribery, fraud and forgery,

'and, of course, theft.

'As it happens, the taking of this painting was just the latest

'in a whole series of thefts and it was time someone put a stop to it.

'Our new headmistress, Quinn, brought in to turn the school around...'

This wave of law-breaking and anarchy ends now.

This is a new regime.

No running, no fighting, no chewing gum, no make-up, no mobile phones.

This is Operation Crackdown.

This is, like, totally unfair.

These new school rules suck.

-I look hideous!

-This is all the Sharkey's fault.

I heard Red Sharkey nicked a painting from the art club.

Well, I heard Red stole all the school computers.

-I never stole nothing!

-They're the thieves,

but we have to suffer. It's not fair!

'Bob Bernstein says the first case can make or break a detective.'

-Dean, terrible news, I'm afraid...

-'Either you crack the case...

'or the case cracks you!'

No!

-Are you OK?

-Get lost.

My mum says a problem shared is a problem halved.

So if I tell you my best painting's been nicked, I'll get half of it back?

It doesn't quite work like that but...

if you've had something stolen, I think I can help.

I'm a detective.

You're a weirdo!

Strawberry doughnut and chocolate milk.

-Sorry?

-That's what you had for breakfast.

Strawberry seeds, doughnut crumbs and milk stain...

evidence of a very unhealthy start to the day.

OK. But I'm not going to pay you.

I might be a talented artist with a bright future ahead of me,

-but it doesn't mean I'm rolling in it.

-That's OK.

I'm not interested in money. I'm interested in the truth.

Tell me about the painting.

Well, we have a painting competition in art every year,

and this year it was being judged by Quinn...

Very realistic, almost lifelike.

-What inspired you to paint St Jerome's?

-My grandad.

To thank him for encouraging my talent.

He helped build the school back in the '60s so I'm giving him this painting for his 80th.

One of our founding fathers!

I'd love to meet him. Well?

I think I've found my winner.

Let's have a big round of applause for Dean and his eye for detail.

They were all there, cheering me on...

April and the rest of the Pinks... Dominique, Carla...

-oh, and that newspaper girl.

-Can't you just paint another one

-to give to your grandad?

-Of course. I've always prided myself on my photographic memory.

I could probably reproduce it down to the last eyelash...

but it's not the same.

Maybe one of the others thought you made up the stuff about your grandad.

I don't know...maybe.

But I need it back. It's my grandad's birthday in three days.

Relax, Dean, I'm on the case.

'If the art club were hacked off that Dean had won, then they'd be

'my first port of call, starting with April and her Pink Posse.'

Hi, girls.

You know the rules.

We only talk to boys with cute rating eight or more.

You're two, Half Moon, maximum.

I just wanna ask about the art club theft.

Are you still here?

I saw the thief.

-Zara...

-Last night, after the gym club.

I saw a boy leaving the art block carrying a painting.

-Did you get a look at his face?

-No. His baseball cap was pulled down.

-Any markings on it?

-It had some kind of bird on it.

What's with the 20 questions?

I'm investigating the case for a client.

-You what?

-I'm a private detective.

-I've been hired to recover the painting.

-THEY LAUGH

'Kids can be cruel.

'Well, what do you expect from the Pinks?

'Still, at least I had something to go on.

'That bird on the cap clue.'

You're a private detective?

-Are you serious?

-Go on, laugh it up!

No, it's...

different.

It would make a great story. How about an interview?

'Mia, the school reporter. She can hear an ant cough a mile away.

'Bernstein has a rule about reporters.'

Sorry, can't discuss the case...

client confidentiality.

-Any leads?

-'The press angle might come in handy, but not just yet.'

Fine, but I don't give up that easily.

'Bernstein says that questioning a suspect is like cracking a safe...

'a good detective knows which questions will reveal its secrets.

'Next stop, the art room.' Dominic Johnson?

Yeah. How did you know?

I read the label in your pants.

Aah, mums, what can you do?

Tell me about it.

This is you, right?

Well, spotted. I mean, most people can't tell

with their digital manipulation. It's gonna take the art world by storm.

And you must be?

I think it needs more thorns.

That's Carla. I wouldn't bother.

Or perhaps the blood should be green, sort of venomous.

Bet you're angry you didn't get first place in the competition?

Well, not as angry as I would have been

if someone had stolen my painting.

Lucky for me, the thief had no taste.

Blood's a lot darker, especially if it's from an artery.

It's symbolic.

'She may be "out there", but she was still a suspect.

'I had to stall her.' Tell me more about your painting?

You want to ask me if I nicked Dean's painting, but you're not sure how to ask?

Dean's style is realism.

I'm interested in interpretation, not representation.

Is that a no, then?

'Bernstein says that suspects may lie or clam up,

'but forensics will always tell you the truth.'

2.2 metres... that's a stretch for anybody.

Maybe they used a step.

Hello!

'The thief must have taken the bucket, turned it upside down and used it to stand on.'

It was Miss Scarlett in the library with the lead piping.

-I said no interview.

-And I said I didn't give up that easily.

Come on, it will make a great story.

Half Moon's total eclipse. One boy's fight to clean up our school.

-All right!

-Great! So, what made you want to become a detective?

-I was talking about the fingerprints.

-Left by the thief?

-Do you ever stop asking questions?

-What kind of powder is that?

Obviously not.

-Aluminium. Works best on plastics.

-Where did you learn all this stuff?

I've been in training for the past two years.

Just got my badge.

Aren't you a bit young to be a qualified detective?

I might have been a wee bit creative about my age.

I think I'd make a pretty good detective.

I figured out who stole my laptop without any of your fancy toys.

-When was it stolen?

-Two weeks ago in the playground.

I use it for putting the paper together.

-Red Sharkey stole it while I was interviewing.

-You saw him?

No, but he was standing near me...

-and he's got form.

-That's your evidence?

It's not exactly watertight.

Let's see you do any better. Find my laptop and I'll leave you alone.

Sorry! I can only do one case at a time.

'Much as I hated turning down work, I had to find whose fingerprints matched those on the bucket.

'Red was used to being in and out of Quinn's office like a yo-yo.'

Out of the way, freak.

'But I hadn't seen him this angry

'since Herod accidentally tagged his locker.

'I had to get fingerprints from all the art club members

'which wasn't gonna be easy with Operation Crackdown in full swing.'

BELL SOUNDS

'None of the prints matched the set I'd lifted from the orange bucket

'which ruled out the art club suspects. I was stumped.

'Why would anyone else steal a worthless painting?'

Unless it wasn't worthless!

The frame! They stole the painting for the frame!

Yes! Moon, you are a genius!

-Freak!

-'My older sister, Hazel.'

Mum, Dad, Fletch is talking to himself again.

Hazel, sh! 'My genius and my dance skills were lost on her.'

-Everything all right, son?

-Never better.

Don't you think you're taking this detective hobby a bit too far?

Mum, please don't touch those.

You should be out playing football, making friends.

Don't worry about me.

I don't need friends. I'm fine.

That is a matter of opinion.

'I tried my theory out on Dean the next day.'

Wait...you think someone nicked it for the frame?

-It's a theory.

-The wrong one. It's more likely they stole it

because they appreciate my art.

'Poor guy! The theft's clearly dented his confidence.'

So...what now?

We work through the usual suspects...people with a history of property theft.

-Like Red Sharkey.

-Are you following me?

Just doing my job. Red Sharkey stole the school laptop and your painting.

-Hang on.

-Plus, I heard he took an MP3 player yesterday.

There is such a thing as evidence.

You've got fingerprints off the bucket. Go see if they match Red's.

'Getting fingerprints from the art club was one thing...'

I've got a new pupil for you, Mr Fitz.

'Red Sharkey was a whole different ball game.'

Red Sharkey will be joining this class from now on.

I'm sure you'll all make him very welcome.

'So that's why Red was so upset yesterday.

-'Quinn was sending him back a year.'

-There's one here.

Come and see me after school, Red.

I'll talk you through your new timetable.

'There was a method to my madness.'

Want to borrow a pen?

Ruler? Want to borrow a ruler?

Freak.

-Water?

-I don't want your water, your pen or your ruler.

So, just leave me alone.

'Double result! I had Red Sharkey's fingerprints

'and I'd lived to tell the tale!

'Luck was definitely on my side.'

-Make yourself at home.

-SHE TYPES

Have I just stepped back in time?

This is the 21st century, right?

I had to go old school since my laptop was nicked.

'Mia had given me the run of the newspaper office.

An uncluttered, uncontaminated forensic lab

'would have been my first choice, but beggars can't be choosers.'

Are you sure that's Red's?

I wiped my prints off the bottle before I gave it to him.

These are the ones I got from the orange bucket.

I've got a match!

Look at that radial loop!

Red Sharkey stole the painting, this proves it.

Right. So, what do we do now?

We cross our fingers and hope he's still got the stolen goods.

Right. Where's the most likely place Red would put them?

In the lion's den.

-What are you doing?

-Writing your obituary.

Everyone knew where the Sharkeys lived, but no-one wanted to visit.

HE RINGS DOORBELL

Hello. Anybody home?

Red?

Herod?

Genie?

Mr Sharkey? 'No-one was home.'

'My heart was pounding like a drum in a tumble dryer,

'but this opportunity was too good to miss. Red's room must be upstairs.

'The pit bull looks like Herod. It must be his room.

'Radioactive certainly sums up Genie.

'Red devil, that's our boy.'

His baseball cap was pulled down.

-Any markings on it?

-It had some kind of bird on it.

FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS

'And that's how I ended up under Red Sharkey's bed.

'There was no sign of the laptop,

'but there was something else under there.

'I knew straightaway it was the stolen picture frame.

'The bad news for Dean was that the painting had already been dumped.

'It was time for a quick exit.'

Next time you go to the toilet, replace the roll.

-Give me the remote.

-No.

I said, Herod, give me the remote!

-No, no!

-Just give me it, yeah?

Who is this robbing my own house, eh?

You picked the wrong one today, lad.

You'll not be breaking in any more homes when I've finished.

Hey, what are you doing with that?

Returning it to its rightful owner.

I'm its rightful owner.

You stole it from the art club.

Nice work, Red! Looks expensive.

-Do you know this kid? And is he right? Did you take it?

-No!

See!

Price tag. This was supposed to be for that picture of Mum.

-But your fingerprints were all over the crime scene.

-My fingerprints?

Which one are you... Starsky or Hutch?

-KIDS GIGGLE

-Detective Moon, actually.

Oh, I get it.

Something's nicked and my name's top of the list.

You can't talk your way out of proof. What about the orange bucket

with all those fingerprints, and they matched yours?

The bucket I used to mix paint with last week?

And what about the baseball cap, the one the thief was wearing?

There's one just like it in your room!

They're giving them out free in town. Loads of kids got them.

It looks like you've got the wrong man there, Detective Moon.

This isn't funny.

I think you'd best be going now, son.

'The Bernstein manual says that the worst mistake a detective can make

'is assuming someone's guilty and then try to make the evidence fit.

'That's what I had done with Red.

'I was a failure.

'The next day I had one simple challenge...

'be invisible and stay out of Red Sharkey's way.'

Oh!

Go on, hit me!

-Get it over with.

-I'm not gonna hit you.

Do you want to rob me? Here!

Take it...it's my MP3 player. Take it.

-Why would I want your MP3 player?

-You took that other kid's.

-That was my MP3 player.

-I lost it, he found it and wouldn't give it back.

-Really?

I'm not as bad as people think.

A leopard can change his spots, can't he?

Not according to the saying.

You've gotta help me change my spots, Half Moon.

Good luck with that!

Did I say that out loud?

-Do you wanna argue with me?

-No!

-You breaking in last night...

-The door was open.

Sorry. Carry on.

That was a wake-up call.

Anything goes missing in this place and I'm first on everyone's list.

You've gotta help me clear my name. You broke into my house, Half Moon.

You owe me.

'The real thief must have left his mark somewhere at the crime scene and we had to find it.'

How did he get in? The door was locked.

Maybe he had a key.

They could have hidden in here when Miss Bird locked up,

stole the painting and let themselves out.

-Hidden where?

-They could duck down behind that.

-What is it?

-Looks like a volcano.

No, Bird would have seen you on the way out.

Not if you were inside the volcano.

Sneaky freaky.

RED GIGGLES

-Look at this!

-Looks like it's been there a while. Anything else?

There are a few sketches on the inside,

so my bet is we're looking for an artist after all.

And how do we do that, genius? Advertise?

No. We don't wanna draw attention to ourselves.

We need to join the art club.

I didn't know you liked art?

Just following the story.

-Didn't know you were supposed to collaborate with the suspects.

-What's your problem?

You stole my laptop, Sharkey, and I want it back.

Red didn't steal your laptop.

You honestly believe that, Moon? He's a Sharkey.

-He's playing you for a mug.

-I didn't nick your laptop.

Whatever!

I didn't take your stupid painting, either.

Tell me I'm seeing things.

Great! Another one!

Anyone else wanna have a pop at Sharkey? Get in line.

I refuse to be in the same club as a thief.

I told you. I'm not a thief.

All you Sharkeys are good at is lowering the tone.

Some of us are sick of you dragging everyone else down to your level,

but we're not gonna put up with it any more.

You're going down, Red.

Like mother, like son.

I don't deserve this, Moon.

OK, I've done some things I'm not proud of...

..but I'm trying.

I'm really trying.

Everyone's always gonna think the worst of me.

Your family doesn't.

-Herod thinks you're great.

-Yeah, because I used to nick

-sweets for him when he was little.

-What about Genie, or your dad?

He says he thinks I've changed, but he doesn't believe it.

Mum is the only one that would ever listen to my side.

-Well, why don't you talk to her, then?

-I can't.

She got ill.

And she died.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know.

No-one else does.

I'd rather keep it that way.

'Bernstein says that investigators should rely on their minds, not their hearts.

'We needed to keep our minds on the job in hand.'

Did you see anything that matches the sketches in the volcano?

Not yet.

What about that shifty-looking guy?

-That's Dean, the victim.

-So?

-He could steal his own painting.

-Why would he do that?

I don't know. For the insurance?

Wasn't his last painting of the school as well?

He's re-painting it to give to his grandad.

He's got a photographic memory, apparently.

I told you he looked shifty.

If he's got a photographic memory,

why is he copying that photograph?

Are you copying from a photo?

-What photo?

-The one in that camera.

I told you before, I don't need photographs. I paint from memory.

It would really help if we could see it.

-I don't copy photos!

-All right. He was just asking to see it.

-What's it to you?

-Let's just calm down here.

We're all on the same side.

Fine, but tell him to stop going on about the photo.

What, you mean this one?

-Hey, that's me!

-Where?

There, interviewing Sandie Ryalls.

That was when my laptop was stolen.

You left it right on top of your bag. Why did you do that?

Hey, who's that guy standing next to you?

I recognise that bag. I've seen it before somewhere.

Aw! Get off me!

Sharkey, how many last chances do you expect me to give you?

-It's not how it looks.

-Save it for the governors.

-I'm just telling you.

I am sick and tired of listening to your excuses.

Dominic's the thief.

He took Dean's painting because it showed him stealing the laptop.

He was in the playground, saw Mia's laptop and seized the opportunity to take it.

However, just at that moment Dean took a picture on his digital camera

which he later turned into a painting.

Dominic had to take and destroy Dean's painting as it caught him in the act of committing the crime.

See! Property of St Jerome's.

I can see the headline now...

"PC Moon Nicks PC Thief".

As for you, Mr Sharkey, you're in the clear...for now!

So, I'd get off Mr Johnson before he complains of assault.

I'd call this an unqualified success for Operation Crackdown.

-What?

-But we caught him!

-Bring him to my office.

I'm keeping an eye on you two.

I think that's her way of saying thank you.

Well, this is my way of saying sorry.

Thanks.

As Bernstein says, "a good detective doesn't do the job for thanks, he does it for truth and justice".

You're a bit weird.

'So with that, Red and I decided to set up a detective agency.'

We'll need a name.

I'm sure we'll think of something.

What about Moon, Private Investigator?

Nah!

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