The Beiderbeck Tapes Half Moon Investigations

SCREAMING

-Shona!

-Shona!

Shona Beiderbeck has left the building.

There must be some mistake. I'm supposed to be interviewing her.

Her office, they said she'd talk to me.

Please, here's my number. Could you ask her to call me?

'Sometimes it seems life just deals the bad cards, however hard you try,

-'they keep on coming.'

-PHONE RINGS

'And then suddenly, out of nowhere, you get thrown an ace or two.'

Hello?

..No, of course I didn't think you were really gone. The back doors.

OK, I'll be right there!

-What are you doing? Get off!

-That was mine!

Save me a bit!

-Get your paws off!

-Give me it, you pig!

Hey, hey! No fighting. That's one of the pledges you all made.

Do you know what day it is tomorrow?

-What's with the shades?

-It's because of the glare.

-What's happened here?

-I walked into a door.

-Yeah, right, do you think I was born yesterday?

-No.

Why have you been fighting when you made a pledge to your mother?

Tomorrow is a big day for all of us.

Don't let your ma down.

Yeah, OK.

I've got to go.

Red, what has she been up to?

-I don't know.

-Do me a favour. Have a word with her.

She won't listen to me.

See you later.

Herod, I've got a job for you.

TAPE: 'Shona, thanks for taking the time to talk to me today.

'That's fine, Mia, it was awesome meeting you.

'Maybe next time I'm touring again...'

Zara said you got the interview with Shona.

-Right here.

-Let's hear it.

-Yeah!

-Play Shona!

-Sure she did. Prove it!

I'm going to upload it onto the news website

so you can all hear it for yourselves.

-Who's the new boy?

-Looks like he needs a friend.

I hear the cat got the cream.

-Too famous to hang out with us now?

-Yeah. Don't bring me down, losers.

-I suppose we have to hear the whole story.

-Yep, afraid so.

Come on, the bell has gone!

'Shona Beiderbeck. She may not be my cup of tea

'but this helium-voiced Princess of Pop

'seems to have captured the imagination

'of all the girls in the school.

-'There's at least one male fan too.'

-Can I just hold the tape recorder?

-No.

-Why not?

Because you'll hit the wrong button and wipe the tape or something.

# Whoo, dream weaver

# I believe you can get me through the night... #

-Are you OK?

-Yeah.

-Sure?

-You need a hand with these?

-Er...OK.

Mia, my office, please, now.

I've got a job for you.

Mrs Quinn, I'm really busy with the newspaper.

-Today is a really important day. And, and, and...

-Mia, this is Ben.

He runs a newspaper at a school in the city.

# Every now and then I fall apart

# And I need you now tonight... #

So, I'd like you to work with Ben over the next few days.

He'll be attending your classes,

so you'll have ample opportunity to show him how you do things.

Talk quietly amongst yourselves.

So, you work for a newspaper too.

Yeah, my co-editor's mum used to be a journalist

and she taught us a lot.

-Great.

-Yeah, we've done some big stuff.

-If you want to ask how we do things, feel free.

-OK.

You got any stories in the pipeline?

Yeah, I've got one.

It's an interview with Shona, you know, Beiderbeck.

The...?

-She's not my thing.

-Me neither.

But she was doing a thing at our local radio station, so...

I called in and fixed it up.

Can I see?

-It's just a standard voice-activated cassette recorder.

-I've got one too.

So, do want to come round to my office at lunch?

-We can put it on the website.

-Definitely.

Hi.

You like Shona Beiderbeck?

-It's supposed to be ironic.

-We have so much in common...

-Hi.

-Seen Mia?

-No.

She's with lover boy in her office. I saw them go in.

Don't forget to knock!

This week, there's an agony aunt column Hazel Moon is doing.

-This is her inbox.

-Nice idea.

And we're really busy with sports,

like there's this inter-school judo thing going on.

When I started, that's what I wanted to do. Sports.

-Now, it's just the undercover stuff.

-Investigative? No way, same as me!

First things first, let's upload the Beiderbeck tape.

-What's the rush?

-I just don't want to get mobbed by fans, that's all.

No, no, first rule of showbiz, keep them waiting.

-You reckon?

-Yeah!

Let the buzz spread around the whole school all day.

-And you'll get the most ever hits on your site.

-Yeah!

-I guarantee it.

-Yo.

-Um... Ben, this is Red. Red, Ben.

Ben is working on the newspaper this week. Red is a friend of mine.

He works for this investigator guy, solving mysteries,

-generates a lot of stories.

-Sounds cool.

-It is.

But nothing to compare to your Beiderbeck scoop.

I-I was just wondering, have you seen Moon?

-No, sorry.

-All right then. See you later.

Anyway, I haven't even seen this newspaper of yours yet.

How stupid of me!

I'll go grab some back copies.

-Why isn't Shona on your website yet?

-You know, I've been busy.

-Or maybe you made it up.

-I'll download it after this.

-Settle down, please.

-We saw you get turned away though.

-Do you want me to play it now?

-Pass it here.

-Just leave it!

-Please!

-She says she's got an interview, she's got it. End of.

Right, that's it. I'll have no talking. You,

you'll stay behind after class.

DARK, ELABORATE PIANO PIECE PLAYS

So, how does this piece make you feel?

PIANO CONTINUES

Hi!

-Hi. Anyone left anything in my inbox yet?

-Uh...

No love triangles for me to unravel?

No, not yet.

You said Shona would be on the website today.

-There's a problem with the download.

-So where is it?

-What?

-The tape.

-In my office.

-Why are you stringing us along?

-Because... I'm not!

-Did you make the interview up?

-No.

-To impress him?

-Of course not.

So, let's get the tape

-and then listen to it on the tape recorder.

-We can't because...

-Because you haven't got it.

-It's been stolen.

I'm sorry, I know it's really stupid of me but it's gone.

-When was it taken?

-Are you serious?

-Convenient.

I'm sorry but it's not my fault.

Don't blame me, blame the thief.

Don't worry, we'll find out who did this.

-You really don't need to do that.

-Of course we do.

They better watch out because we're coming after them.

'Looks like we had an investigation and we weren't the only ones.'

-Get off me!

-Herod, what are you doing?

-Nothing!

OK, Dad wants to know who smacked you.

-He figures you'll want revenge.

-So?

So if I followed you, you'd lead me to them.

-Plus no Sharkey fights alone.

-Herod, no Sharkey fights at all, remember?

So, one last time, don't follow me.

Anyway, I walked into a door.

I came here straight after music to upload the tape.

-Was the tape in your possession the whole time?

-Yeah, except when

I nipped to the loo. I left it on the desk.

When I came back, I went to play it and it was gone.

OK, we need to consider opportunity and motive.

OK. Opportunity, at home time, the corridor is full,

it could be anybody.

Except me. I was kept behind after class.

Yeah...but Red's right,

it could be anyone, so it's probably too late.

-I don't want to waste your time.

-You're not.

Thing is, I just feel so stupid

for getting it stolen. I'd rather not make a big thing.

-Justice must be served, Mia.

-If that's what Mia wants,

-why not just drop it?

-Like Bernstein says, if you never open a case,

-you never close the case.

-This isn't about solving a case.

-It's about what Mia wants.

-What she wants is her tape back.

Enough. Here's what's happening. We'll give it a go. Not a big thing.

If there's no trails to follow, we'll give up. Agreed?

OK, motive.

What about the Beiderbeck fans?

First up, April Devereux.

This crime is right up her street.

-Or Mercedes.

-She's a big fan all right.

-So is Zara.

-A definite possibility.

Speaking of fans, there's always Doobie.

-He was loitering around here when we arrived.

-You're right!

Actually, I hate to say this

but somebody else was loitering in the corridor acting suspicious.

-Herod.

-He's been up to something, but I don't think Herod did this.

He's been sneaking about the last day or two,

but he wouldn't know Beiderbeck from a bicycle pump.

This isn't his style.

Point taken. OK, first thing tomorrow,

we start bringing the others in.

Shake the tree and see what falls out.

I can't even bear to look at the pair of you. Out.

Red, you have to help your old Dad out here.

-I've already told you...

-No, listen, I made a mistake.

I used your brother, look what happened.

-What can I do?

-Find out what's going on with Genie and Herod.

When your mother...went,

-you knew we'd all have to pull together.

-I know.

You don't see me coming home with a black eye.

Look, you're the only one I can rely on.

I don't know what Genie and Herod are up to,

but it's not my job to find out.

You're our dad. You're meant to be the grown-up.

It's your job to look after us, not mine.

The next day, Doobie was acting more strangely than normal.

Shall we do the good cop, bad cop routine? I don't mind being bad cop.

No need. When this baby starts singing, she'll tell all.

My dad uses it for jogging. It's the same principle as a lie-detector.

The more you lie, the faster your pulse.

Let's wheel him in.

What do you know about Beiderbeck?

-She's so great.

-You know what I'm talking about.

Bet you'd love to get your hands on that interview.

Wow, yeah!

Shame someone's stolen it. Supposedly.

-Where were you at 15.45 yesterday afternoon?

-Around and about.

Hmm.

What if I said the word... Beiderbeck?

Sorry. I just love her.

-Shona Beiderbeck.

-Yeah, she's my favourite singer.

Doobie, are you nervous about something?

Yeah.

There's nothing to be nervous about. Unless you've done something wrong.

Don't be hard on yourself, mate.

Talk to us. It's for the best.

OK.

Moon, is your sister going out with anyone?

My garden is full of the bones of people who've gone out with her.

Really?

That'll be all.

Well, that went well(!)

Sweetheart, somebody has been blacking the eyes of our kids.

I'll get to the bottom of this.

I promise.

OK, for judo thing, how about "School in grip of judo fever"?

As in judo is about grips and falls and stuff.

-"Judo grips school".

-Nice one!

"Mrs Quinn thrown by judo fever".

Hi!

Sorry to suck the atmosphere from the room.

Hi. We were just talking about the edition we're putting together.

-So, do you want to know how we got on?

-Yeah, OK.

Well, nobody squealed.

But, I've been thinking...

Fletch, I've been thinking, too. Can we just call this off?

Thanks for trying and everything, but...

No way. We're going to find out who stole this tape if it kills us.

-Right, Moon?

-Absolutely.

Although, if we can solve it without dying, even better.

You said we'd forget it if there were no leads.

-Don't you want us to find the tape?

-Maybe she's just embarrassed?

Ben's right.

-I feel like an idiot.

-It's not your fault.

A crime has been committed. This is getting way bigger than you, Mia.

I think it's time to ramp up our investigation.

Big time.

You don't understand.

-All this is all my fault.

-What's going on?

The Beiderbeck tape wasn't stolen.

Listen.

'Er, this is the issue from 7th September.'

I don't get it.

I must have pressed record when I was showing Ben the tape machine.

-I recorded over the interview.

-So, why...?

I just couldn't tell everyone that I'd been so stupid.

Guys, I'm really sorry.

Well, on the bright side, that's another case solved.

You muppet! Come on.

If we're quick, we'll catch the last sitting of lunch.

Are you coming?

I'll finish the sport story.

-OK. See you later?

-See you.

Who said that?

Mickey Parker?

Don't make me laugh.

I'd eat him for breakfast. On toast.

She said what?

No. No way. I'd never consider it.

-Hi!

-That was quick.

I didn't really fancy anything so I thought I'd come back and...

-I'm glad you did.

-Me too.

So, do you, like, have a boyfriend or...anything?

No. Do you? A girlfriend, I mean.

Well, there is this one girl that I've been meaning to ask out.

-I don't think she'll say yes.

-Ask her. She might surprise you.

-Have you been on my computer?

-No.

I've been over here working away with this article.

Audio file transfer failed.

Yeah. Someone's tried to send an e-mail on my computer.

Must have been when I was out for a drink of water.

-And you didn't check your e-mails or anything?

-Nope.

Obviously someone's been in here.

I used to think Shona was the beautifulest, just like you did.

Now I think the best is you.

Whoever left that note must have used your computer. Cheeky or what?

Yeah.

I'm gonna grab some lunch.

-Do you want me to get you something?

-Sure.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Yes?

Oh! Mr Sharkey.

This is an unexpected... DOOR CLOSES

-How can I help?

-I think my kids are being bullied.

SHE SNIGGERS Sorry.

It just doesn't seem very likely, that's all.

Then why do they keep coming home with black eyes?

That is most regrettable, I agree.

-But nevertheless you must be very proud.

-Why?

-You mean you don't know?

-Know what?

Look, I'm not ready to get fobbed off here, Mrs Quinn.

I need to get to the bottom of what's going on.

Keep it moving!

He came and joined in a bout his sister was involved in yesterday.

Mr Hardman, the games teacher, says he has rarely seen such talent.

That's it, Julie. Just like that!

Well done!

-Hi!

-Hi!

-How's my inbox?

-You've got one note.

OK.

Beautifulest?

-Got to expect one mad one.

-It must be great, though.

You know, agony aunt. Helping people with their problems.

Uh-huh. If anyone actually wrote me a note that made sense.

Well, I've got this friend.

I want to know what to say to her.

Friend?

She likes this guy.

It's like they were made for each other and they've kissed.

They have?

But part of her thinks that he's not what he seems,

and she doesn't know if it's just her or if maybe he's using her.

-She doesn't trust him?

-She doesn't know what to think.

-Sounds like she doesn't really know who he is.

-Yeah.

She needs to know if she can trust him.

If he's just spinning her along, she could get her heart broken.

Know what I'd do if it was my guy?

Nail him to the floor and get the truth out of him.

Hey! You just missed out on a strange new experience.

That meat pie. I kept expecting

to find a shirt button or some other giveaway.

What's up?

Someone's tried to send an audio file on my computer.

-OK.

-I mean, first I lose the scoop of the century on my tape recorder.

Next, someone sneaks in and uses my computer to send an audio file.

-Think it's just a coincidence?

-Could be.

And I know a good way to find out.

Red wanted to set a trap.

And like all good traps, first we needed the bait.

Desperate for an answer, Mia agreed.

-Bye.

-Bye.

-Hi. Are you OK?

-Just glad the tape thing's over. Anyway, could be worse.

Like I was just telling the girls, at least I've still got the photos.

You've got photos?

-Yeah. Didn't I tell you?

-No.

-Got some great ones of Shona.

-Yeah? Where are they?

In my desk drawer on a data card.

I don't know whether to sell them to nationals

or keep them with the school.

Anyway, got to go.

See you later?

Hope so.

Hope not.

Call me stubborn,

but as Bernstein says, an unsolved case is like a flea in your sock.

And right now, my sole's itching to find the heel who stole that tape.

We're getting good pictures from Mia's webcam.

With the screen turned off, no-one will suspect a thing.

-Anything?

-Not yet.

But waiting is part of the game.

These stake-outs play havoc with a guy's waistline.

Look.

Doobie.

No. Just Hazel's inbox.

False alarm, guys. Doobie couldn't steal his own piggy-bank.

This is like the time we went fishing in the canal.

No bites.

I spy...

with my little eye

something beginning with B.

Ben?

-No!

-Look!

Got you!

Get off me!

Go on then, give it a shot.

-See where it gets you.

-It's your lucky day.

-Are you OK?

-Ow! Yeah.

-What's going on?

-What were you doing in here?

I came to leave something for Mia.

Sure you didn't come to take something?

-You've got your tape back, so...

-Wait.

You stole from me?

I'm sorry, Mia. I didn't plan it.

But an exclusive like this, it would have made me a legend.

You're already a legend. You said you had all those stories.

I got sacked from my newspaper cos I never brought any stories in.

I thought it would get me back on the staff.

So all that time, you were just waiting to steal the interview?

I think I'm going to stay and finish the sport story.

OK. See you later?

-See you.

-It was you who was trying to send it from my computer.

Hi!

That was quick.

That's why you were behaving so weirdly.

So what made you change your mind?

Couldn't do it.

Couldn't do it to you.

ROMANTIC PIANO MUSIC

I think I got my priorities mixed up. I suppose it's too late now?

So, Mia's ace of hearts turned out to be more like a joker.

I'm no expert, but I think she played her hand OK.

And I know she deserves a better card next time.

Moon? Can you tell your sister that note I left her wasn't from me?

OK, Doobie.

I need to cool things off.

Fast. She is one dangerous lady!

-How's your friend?

-She found out who he really was.

A bit late.

But she found out.

What I can't understand is why didn't you just tell me?

You said no fighting.

Well, Mum did.

She didn't mean judo, I'm pretty sure of it.

See now.

What it was was, I walked... The thing... It was a door...

Don't even say it. Just tell me this.

Do I need to buy three judo suits now?

No.

That's one blessing.

Here's to your ma.

One year today. She'd have been proud.

-Cheers!

-Cheers.