Episode 4 HH: Gory Games Play Along

-Five minutes, Dave.

-Thank you.

Rattus, you do know that's a bog brush?

Oh, yes!

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# Better turn off This show ain't for you

# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# ..Games! #

Hello and welcome to Gory Games with me, Dave Lamb.

And me, Rattus Rattus.

Time to meet today's Horrible Historians.

-Hi, I'm Ayushand. I'm from London.

-Hello, Ayush.

-Hi, I'm Amy and I'm from Watford.

-Hello, Amy.

-Hi I'm Gayatri and I'm from Birmingham.

-Hello, Gayatri.

Welcome, everyone.

And you can play along at home, too, using the Gory Games app.

Check out the CBBC website.

You lot are playing to win Yearspheres.

And at the end of the show the person with the highest year score

will win a fabulous prize that I picked out myself.

So if it wasn't already disgusting it certainly is now,

now that Rattus has had his paws all over it.

Time to get on with the show,

and to find out what our first round is about it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Vicious Vikings.

Four questions on the Vikings coming up now.

The person who gets the most right wins the first Yearsphere.

And your four Viking topics are...

So, Gayatri, what would you like?

Can I have Viking kings please?

When Viking Arthur Canute became King of England

what did he do to his dead brother?

Let's see your answers now please.

Everybody thinks it's C.

Let's find out what the answer is.

The answer is C.

Arthur Canute had his brother's body dug up and chucked in the Thames.

I get the feeling perhaps they didn't get on.

That was superb. Congratulations everyone. You're all off the mark.

Amy, it's your turn to pick a category.

Can I have show offs please?

According to one story

Olaf Trigvason impressed his men by doing what?

They've all gone for A. What's the answer please?

The answer is B.

He used to run along the ores of his ship balancing carefully

so not to fall in the water.

Well, you didn't get any points there

but at least you all stuck together which is nice.

Ayush, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Can I have Viking myths?

Let's see if you know this one.

Oh, that's a tricky one. What do you think?

Our first disagreement of the day.

Let's find out the answer.

Let me put you out of your misery.

The answer is A.

It had eight legs and could fly.

Points there for Gayatri and for Amy. Ayush, you're still in this.

There's one category left in this round.

Names. And it is a question from Rattus Rattus.

Certainly is.

How according to some did Harald Bluetooth get his odd name?

Girls with C.

Ayush out on his own with B.

Rattus, what is the answer?

The answer is A. He ate a lot of berries.

Which apparently stained his teeth. I'd be Rattus brown tooth.

Yuck.

So no points there but at the end of that round we have a tie.

Gayatri and Amy. Ayush, just for now you are history.

Girls, it's time for a tie-breaker question.

Beginning with the letter L what type of ship did Vikings sail in?

Gayatri.

Long ship.

Long ship is absolutely right. Very well played, Gayatri.

You won the quiz which means it's time for you to choose

your Yearsphere, and it's time for me to say:

VOICE ECHOES: All hail the potty pyramid!

ANGELIC CHOIR

Gayatri, help yourself to a Yearsphere.

Nice.

Now, winning the Viking quiz means that Gayatri is automatically

through to play the Viking game.

But will she be alone or will everybody else get to play?

Let's find out.

It's an all-play silly game.

So, everyone, get down that time sewer.

Go on, Ayush, lead us off. Away you go, Amy.

The Vikings were a surprising bunch.

Along with massive axes to lop off their enemies' heads

they also used tiny ear spoons to clean the wax out of their ears.

It's time to play:

Your challenge, to clean out a Viking ear,

carry the wobbly wax on your Viking ear spoon

over the wobbly bridge, and flick it in your bowl.

The person who gets the most ear wax from their ear into their bowl

within the time limit, wins the Yearsphere.

Spoons at the ready. Your time starts...now.

And they're off.

Now we are with Gayatri as she jimmies away, trying to get

that crusty cob of a blob of earwax out of the Viking ear.

Look at that. Amy has got two on one spoon.

Straight away there.

She's a study of concentration as she goes over that seesaw.

-And towards the basket.

-Oh, and she's got one.

Gayatri has got one.

But Amy...yes, has delivered two. And oh, dear me.

Ayush must have just lost his at the last second there.

And the ears, of course, there,

care of the famous Viking, Olaf the Massive Ears.

What, you mean Olaf the Three Massive Ears?

That's the one.

Oh, look at this. Gayatri has got two as well.

That's great wax balling.

And Amy coming up again and scores a third.

And Ayush is off the mark.

And if anyone wants to know what that wax tastes like, get your own.

That lot is all mine.

Is there anything you won't eat, Rattus?

-Rat poison.

-Fair enough.

I have to say, there is not much time left.

30 seconds remaining.

The pressure is on now. And that's a good delivery.

And another one. Yes, that's how it's done. Everyone has scored.

Very, very close. And there's the two wax specialist.

Can she get that double in before the time runs out?

No she can't. And Gayatri has dropped hers too.

This really is going to go down to the wire.

One for Ayush. He's catching up here.

But is he going to run out of time?

I think he is. 3...2...1...

Time's up!

It's all over and that's a win for Amy.

Back behind your podiums please. That was very, very close.

But the winner was Amy, with three bits.

Help yourself to a Yearsphere, Amy. Congratulations. Very good.

So, Round 2, and to find out what's up next it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Terrible Tudors.

Four questions again and here are your four all important topics:

So, Amy, it's your turn to pick first this time.

Wives, please.

That is a question from Rattus Rattus.

Certainly is. True or false?

Henry VIII's second wife Anne Boleyn

needed the toilet a lot during her coronation

so her ladies in waiting kept a potty handy under a table.

Her ladies in waiting kept a potty handy under a table.

Is that true or is that false?

Gayatri and Amy think it's true. Ayush thinks it's false.

-What's the answer Rattus?

-It's true.

I hope wife number two only needed it for number ones.

Oh, let's hope so. Well played, Gayatri and Amy.

-Ayush, it's your turn to pick a topic.

-Theft.

True or false?

In Tudor times if you stole 11 pennies

you would be sentenced to death.

If you stole 11 pennies you would be sentenced to death. True or false?

Let's see those answers now please.

Well, are they all right or all wrong? Let's find out.

It's false.

If you stole 11 pennies or less you'd be sent to prison.

But if you stole 12 pennies or more you would be sentenced to death.

Note to self, punishment far too soft.

Bad luck, everybody. You got that one wrong. No points there.

But points available with this next question.

-Gayatri, what's it going to be?

-Teeth please.

True or false?

In the later years of my life I wore false teeth made of elephant ivory.

So, what do you think? True or false?

Well, the girls in agreement again, with true.

Ayush has gone with false. What's the answer?

It's false. My teeth were rotten but I refused to have them

pulled out, despite the near constant toothache. Ah!

Well done, Ayush you're back in it.

And this is the final question in this round. It's on holidays.

True or false? Tudor schools had 16 weeks summer holiday.

Is that true or false?

Let's see your answers.

Everybody thinks that's false.

It is false or is true, Your Maj?

It's false. Tudor schools had no summer holidays whatsoever.

It's quite right too.

Congratulations, everybody. A point each.

And at the end of that round we have a three-way tie.

So it's the tie-breaker situation.

Beginning with the letter A,

complete the name of Henry VIII's first wife. Catherine of...

Aragon.

Aragon is absolutely right. Well done, Amy.

You've won the quiz which means it's time to grab yourself a Yearsphere.

# It's small, it's round Inside a date is found

# Yearsphere, Yearsphere. #

# It's... # What?! It might catch on!

So, Amy, as the winner of the Tudor quiz you're through to play

the Tudor Game, but will you be going it alone or will you have company?

Let's find out.

Oh, Ayush has got his head in his hands

because it's a single player brainy game.

Amy, put your thinking cap on and get back down that time sewer.

-It stinks.

-It does stink.

William Shakespeare...

Excuse me, I'm the Queen. I'll explain this game.

I was a big fan of William Shakespeare.

I also liked a good insult.

So what could be better than a Shakespearian insult? It's time for:

Eight insults. Five were invented by Shakespeare

but three were invented by that stinky rodent.

Your Maj.

All you have to do is work out

which five are the genuine Shakespearian insults.

To do this choose five insults and move them to the board.

Then touch the Hamlet skull to see how many you've got right.

Keep trying new combinations until you get all five right.

But you've got to be quick as you're against the clock.

And your time is starting now.

Here we go then.

She's got to choose the genuine Shakespeare insults

and put them on the easels.

Stockfish she's going for.

Well, that sounds about right doesn't it, Rattus?

Of course you made up the other three on there, didn't you?

I did. I'm a naughty rat.

Clay-brained is up there.

Putrid Piddle Bucket has joined the other two there.

What's the fourth one? Humpty Nuggets.

Humpty Nuggets!

That is somehow appalling, Humpty Nugget, for me.

And Badger Breath. Now, how many has she got.

'You have two correct.'

Rattus, you really are a naughty rat.

You've slipped three past her there.

She's removed Stockfish.

Now I've got a feeling that's a genuine one.

She's replaced it with Mouldy Rogue.

Well, that's right for right, Rattus.

'30 seconds remaining.'

Amy has gone for Tailor's Yard there.

'You have three correct.'

So one better. Putrid Piddle Bucket comes off. What's going back up?

Stockfish.

'You have four correct.'

She's got four. Oh, she's taken it off.

Come on Amy don't be clay-brained.

Humpty Nuggets!

'You have three correct.'

She's got herself in a real muddle here. There's only seconds left now.

-Stockfish is coming back.

-'Time's up.'

But it's too late. Bad luck, Amy. Three out of five.

Welcome back. Oh, that was tricky wasn't it? That was tricky.

Right, onto Round 3.

To find out what's up next it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Awful Egyptians.

So, four questions on the Egyptians coming up now.

Your four topics are...

So, Ayush, it's your turn to lead us off.

Cat fat.

In ancient Egyptian houses cat fat was sometimes

spread on the walls and the floors, but why?

Show me now, please.

Ooh. Everyone has gone for A.

Let's find out what the answer is.

The answer is B.

Cat fat could be spread around to keep rats out.

Yes, I might try that in my dressing room.

You wouldn't.

No points there for anybody I'm afraid. Gayatri, it's your go.

Cures, please.

Now, that is a prop question.

Prop question, prop question, prop question.

And today's prop is...

No, Rattus. Don't say another word.

You always somehow manipulate me

into choosing the two cupboards with the boxing gloves.

Well, not today.

Today I will choose a cupboard using my own powers of deduction.

I'm going to test them. Ah. Boxing glove in the bottom cupboard.

Aha. And the middle cupboard.

So, by a process of elimination...

..glove in the top cupboard too.

What I was going to say was today's prize is under the desk.

I didn't put it in the cupboard

because they were all full of spring-loaded boxing gloves.

Haha(!) Laugh it up, Rattus.

My next choice was actually going to be under the desk.

And here is the prop. Mashed up pig's eyes.

This is an Egyptian cure for blindness.

Pig's eyes with red powder and honey.

But where would you pour this treatment?

So, you've had a look. What do you think? A, B or C?

Gayatri has gone for A.

Amy for B, and Ayush, C.

I can tell you that the answer is B. Well, done Amy.

You pour it into the ears.

And it's actually your turn to choose. What will you have?

Sacrifice, please.

Here's what I want to know.

Let's have a look at your answers please.

Wow, everybody has gone for B.

Let's find out the answer.

Well, I can tell you the answer is:

Proving that not even Egyptian gods like sprouts.

Rattus! No points there, though, I'm afraid. One question remaining.

Let's hear it.

In the ancient Egyptian city of Pi Ramesses there were stables

to house hundreds of horses.

But what surprising facilities did they have?

Let's see your answers now please.

Gayatri out on her own with B.

Amy and Ayush agree on A.

Let's find out what the answer is.

The answer is A.

The stables had horse toilets.

OK, so let's award those points.

One for Amy, one for Ayush

and it means that at the end of that round,

Amy, you've won yourself another Yearsphere.

There it goes.

OK, Amy, you won the Egyptian quiz so you're through to play

the Egyptian game, but will you be going it alone?

Let's find out, shall we?

Yes, you will. It's a single player scary game.

So, off down the time sewer on your own.

Bye, Dave.

Bye.

Now, if you're eating, I recommend that you stop right now.

Why? Because we're about to play...

This mummy is nowhere near ready for the afterlife.

Your challenge is to finish the mummification job.

Find and remove the stomach, liver, intestines and lungs

and put them in the correct canopic jars.

Yank the brain out through the nose and bin it.

Find the bladder and bin that as well.

But the heart must be left inside the body.

And your time starts now.

And she's straight in.

She's gone up there and what we know, Rattus, is that the heart

and lungs are up there, and she's got the lungs.

They're free.

So now she has to get those lungs into the correct canopic jar

which involves matching them to a picture.

There they are. You can just see them there.

And that's the right jar she's heading for.

It's a very good start from Amy, isn't it, Rattus?

-Certainly is, Dave.

-Now she's going for the brain.

She'll need to hook them out and pull them through the nose.

Oh, they're coming out a bit slowly there.

That was a bit graphic, wasn't it, Rattus?

And as she's pulling them out by hand.

That is allowed although not advised.

And that brain needs to go straight into the bin.

And she's done it. Good remembering from Amy.

-She's being very methodical here, isn't she?

-Bin and gone.

Now that, for me, is a massive liver.

What's she going to do with it?

She's looking for the accompanying picture.

So where's this liver going?

Now, I'm not so sure she knew what she was doing there, Rattus.

-What are your thoughts?

-There were blanks looks all round.

She's put the liver in the jar where the stomach should go

and that could cost her the game.

And there is the stomach.

Now I think Amy has realised her error.

She's emptying the canopic jar.

She's realised very cleverly that the stomach needs to go in there.

So what she's done is up-turned the canopic jar

and removed the liver.

But what's she done with it? She's put it in the bin.

Oh, she's 'bin' silly there, Rattus. 'Bin' Silly? Please yourself!

Oh, dear me.

She seems to have hold of the bladder and it seems to be

squirting quite a lot of wee all over her and the room.

There it is, the bladder.

And that needs to go in the bin. Yeah.

There's far too much splash wee-wee.

There's wee in that there bin.

The liver will be covered in the stuff. Oh, there's the intestine.

This is often your favourite bit here, Rattus.

If it was up to you there'd be a bit of skipping going on.

'30 seconds remaining.'

There they go. They're crossing the room.

She's looking for the correct canopic jar for them

and yes, she's got that absolutely right.

So it's a shame about the liver really.

But with only 20 seconds remaining

I'm not sure she's got time to sort it out.

But wait, she's gone back for the liver.

Could this be an extraordinary recovery? I think it could!

And she's done it. And beaten the timer as well.

Well played, Amy.

Well done. Help yourself to your fourth Yearsphere.

But will it be a good one? Nice.

Very good. So it's the final round.

And that means we go over to the Gory Grid one last time

to find out what we've got.

It's the Measly Middle Ages.

It's the final round. There's no quirky quiz.

We're straight on to our big all play Middle Ages endgame.

Feeling Eel. And this is a stupid death game.

So, everybody get down that time sewer.

See you later.

Now it's over to you know who to explain the game.

Boo! Ha-ha. Yes...

King Henry I ate far too many lampreys

which are sort of like really ugly eels.

Afterwards his doctor gave him some laxatives to empty his bowels.

But obviously gave him too many as Henry got severe diarrhoea and died.

When I heard that story I almost pooed myself!

Anyway, you've got to feed hungry Henry

as many slimey lampreys as possible.

Run down the lane and shove them in his gob.

Whoever shoves the most in within the time limit wins the Yearsphere.

And your time starts now.

And we're off.

So this game is Ayush's last chance to get a Yearsphere.

Let's see how he gets on with that first lamprey.

And there it goes, and this never fails to appal me.

This is appalling what's going on out here.

Heads first, tail first, doesn't seem to matter.

They get rammed in there somehow. And back they go.

Amy with a slight advantage but Ayush pushing her very, very close.

There's Gayatri just finishing off her first

as the others arrive with their second.

Oh, here we go again.

Dave, if you think lampreys are slimey you should try frogspawn.

I think I'll pass on that, Rattus.

Ayush in the lead there but only just.

Amy hot on his heels.

Gayatri is bringing up the rear...of the lamprey.

They're neck and neck, aren't they? Look at this.

Ayush and Amy are absolutely level pegging.

That's another one going in there.

Oh, Dave, those lampreys sure are ugly.

Do you know what, Rattus?

I'm making it a rule to never eat anything uglier than I am.

So you can eat everything then, Dave?

So what are you saying, Rattus?

Are you saying I'm ugly or attractive?

Try and be more clear with your insults next time.

Gayatri has got another but she's being out-lampreyed by the others.

So close, aren't they, these two? They are level pegging.

They couldn't be any closer.

Tick tock, your time is running out.

I don't know about you but I really wish he wouldn't do that.

So Gayatri has drawn level.

But not for long.

There's a fifth for Ayush. He's looking tired though.

But Amy is flying up the course. Five points a piece.

Now Amy has taken the lead.

She's certainly finishing the stronger of the two here.

Gayatri valiantly cramming in an eel there

but it's between Amy and Ayush, this.

We're in the last few seconds. Either of them could win it.

Which way is it going to go? This is extremely close.

'Time's up.'

It's all over and Ayush and Amy have tied, 6-6.

Well done. Those eels really were disgusting, weren't they?

Horrible. Amy and Ayush both win a Yearsphere.

Here we go.

Excellent. So now it's time to count up those Yearspheres.

And remember AD dates are added to your total

and BC dates are subtracted from it.

It's the moment of truth.

Gayatri, let's have a look at your Yearsphere. What's inside it?

264 BC. The first Roman gladiator games that year.

It's bad, but it's not totally disastrous.

Amy, let's see your Yearspheres.

1665 AD - the plague happened around about then.

Let's have a look at that second one.

1901 AD, Queen Victoria died.

You're going nicely so far.

Let's have a look at that third one.

1135 AD. The death of Henry I. this could be a massive score.

Let's have a look at the fourth.

122 AD. Hadrian's Wall began to be built that year.

Let's have a look at that last one. Oh, no!

10,500 BC. The end of the last Ice Age.

Ayush, you have got -264 to beat.

Let's have a look. What's inside it?

Oh, no!

753 BC! The City of Rome was founded.

Oh, my goodness me.

That means that today's winner is Gayatri, with a score of -264.

I have to say, Gayatri, you are about to receive

the most amazing prize that you can imagine,

providing that you have very, very limited imagination.

Yeah, you've guessed it.

It's something that Rattus has found in the time sewers.

That's right. A powerful elixir of youth.

You mean it keeps you feeling young?

Well, that's what the Romans believed, Dave.

Yes, it's bottled gladiator sweat.

There you go, Gayatri. I wouldn't drink it if I was you.

I'd just hang it on the wall. So, well done, Gayatri.

And also well done to Amy and Ayush.

And you have won a trip home that is truly once in a lifetime.

Because no-one in their right mind wants to do it twice.

Yeah, we're flushing you down the time sewers. Off you go.

There's no need to look quite so happy about it.

If you want to play along at home next time, don't forget to download

the Gory Games app.

Eurgh, this is really gooey!

Oh, I've wet myself.

Well, I've been Dave Lamb. He's been a health risk.

But a loveable one.

And this has been Gory Games. Goodbye.