Episode 11 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# You better turn off This show ain't for you

# Still watching?

# Then, let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# ..Games! #

Hello, welcome to Gory Games, with me, Dave Lamb,

-and my assistant, Rattus Rattus. Rattus?

-Hm?

Oh, sorry, I was just preparing dinner.

Oh, yeah? What are you having?

-Cockroach.

-Ooh, lovely.

How do you prepare a cockroach for dinner, exactly?

Ooh, I say, "Hello. Nice to meet you. Now, I'm going to eat you".

LAUGHTER

Yes.

This is the show where he makes bad jokes, while I test your knowledge

of Horrible Histories with quirky quiz questions and Gory Games.

So, let's meet today's Horrible Historians.

Hi, I'm Jack!

Hi, I'm Maisy!

Hi, I'm Okechukwu!

Excellent. Everybody's here.

Want to play along at home, too?

Then, get the brilliant Gory Games app

from the CBBC website.

Right, Jack, Maisy, Okechukwu, you are playing to win Year Spheres.

Each Year Sphere contains a historical date.

At the end of the show, your Year Sphere dates will be added up,

with AD dates being added to your total

and BC dates being subtracted from it.

So, if these were your Year Spheres,

we'd add 1,215,

then subtract 480, giving us a total of, Rattus?

735.

Right. Well...well, that's right. How did you do that?

Well, I added the 1 to the 8.

Put the 12 and the 4 into the tens column, carried the 0...

And, while you're distracted with that,

I'd sneak a look at the answers on your autocue!

LAUGHTER

Yeah, very clever.

At the end of the show, the person with the highest year score

will win a unique, amazing prize.

-Ha! I pulled it out of the Time Sewers myself.

-Yeah, that's right.

So, your prize is hundreds of years old, was found in the sewers

and, worse still, it's also had his grubby little hands all over it.

Oi! Technically, they are not hands.

-They're feet.

-Whatever.

Right, let's get cracking.

And, to find out who this round is about,

it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Awful Egyptians.

And your four Egyptian topics are...

So, Jack, you get to pick first. Have a little pick.

-Fashion.

-Let's hear the question.

What was a popular Egyptian hair fashion for women? Was it...

A, wear a wig with a wax cone on it?

B, shampoo your hair with crocodile wee?

Or C, dangle onions and radishes from your plaits?

So, is that A, B or C?

Let's see those answers now, please.

They've all agreed on A.

Let's find out if they are all right or all wrong.

The answer is...

-A, wear a wig with a melted wax cone on it.

-Yes!

The cone was perfumed, too, apparently.

I'm not a woman.

Fantastic. What a great start. A point apiece.

Everybody is off the mark.

Maisy, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Tombs.

Tombs. Let's hear the question.

The question is...

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

I know the answer! I know the answer!

Let's see your answers now, please.

Oh, they're all in total agreement again. Let's see if they are right.

The answer is...

-A, The Book of the Dead.

-ALL:

-Yes!

OK, Okechukwu, your turn to choose a topic.

Can I have Myths, please?

That is a question from Rattus Rattus.

-IN POSH VOICE:

-Oh, thank you.

-RATTUS CLEARS HIS THROAT

-According to Egyptian myth,

why did the sun go down every night? Was it...

A, because it was drowned by the moon?

B, it was swallowed by a cow goddess?

Or C...

-IN TIRED VOICE:

-it got sleepy and needed a rest?

You read that beautifully, Rattus.

But is the answer A, B or C? Let's see your answers now, please.

Look at that. The boys agreeing with B.

Maisy out on her own with A.

Rattus, what's the answer?

Oh, I can tell you the answer is...

B!

Yeah, it was swallowed by a cow goddess.

The goddess of the sky, Nut.

I thought the cow was supposed to jump over the moon,

not swallow the sun.

Slight misunderstanding.

The final topic in this round is War and this is your question...

To prove how many men they'd killed in battle,

Egyptian soldiers used to cut off and keep what?

A, the left-hand?

B, the right hand?

Or C, the head?

Was it A, the left-hand?

B, the right hand.

Or C, the head?

Let's see your answers now, please. Look at that.

Maisy and Jack agreeing with B.

Okechukwu on his own with C.

What's the answer?

The answer is...

B, the right hand.

Mm.

Ooh! It's horrible, but it's true.

And what that means, at the end of the first round,

is that Jack, with a maximum total of 4,

has won the first Year Sphere.

RATTUS HUMS

RATTUS SIGHS

Come on, Jack. Come on down and choose your Year Sphere.

-Is that the one you're going for? Yeah?

-Yeah.

Excellent choice.

Or maybe not.

RATTUS HUMS

Yes, you do not want one with a Stone Age date in it,

because that could be worth a few million minus points.

So, winning the quiz means that Jack is automatically through to play

the Egyptian game, but will he be alone

or will the others get to play, too? Let's find out.

It's an All Play brainy game,

which means all of you are heading off down that Time Sewer.

Go on, Okechukwu, lead the way.

Cowabunga!

Yeah, cowabunga, indeed. Go on, Maisy.

-It stinks!

-"Stinks". Go on, Jack.

Poo-wee!

DAVE LAUGHS

THEY TALK No one is entirely sure exactly how

the Egyptians built the Great Pyramids,

but one thing is for certain - it was nothing like this.

Yes, it's time to play...

Pyramid Puzzle!

Nine blocks, your challenge is to work out

which block goes where.

We've even put the first block in place

for you to help you along.

First to finish wins the Year Sphere.

So, ready, steady...

get building! HORN BLARES

So, here we go then, with Pyramid Puzzle.

Obviously, Rattus, the thing they are looking to do here

is get the large pieces at the bottom, isn't it?

That's right, the point to this game, Dave,

-is, in fact, the point.

-Absolutely.

Okechukwu having a look at that piece from every conceivable angle.

Really was rotating it there, wasn't he, Rattus?

The problem is with this game, Dave, if you just spend all your time

considering one piece, you don't get anywhere.

The best thing to do is push them all together

and keep kicking them until they fit.

Well, that's your theory, Rattus. And I'd...

keep it to yourself, if I were you.

Jack starting again, good.

It's probably worth remembering that it did take 20 years

-for the Egyptians to build the Pyramids.

-Yes.

You have to say, these three will probably be through

in half the time.

LAUGHTER

Although, having said that...

-Have you got a clock on this, Rattus?

-Yeah, there you go.

I've got to be out after this.

Blocks everywhere, here.

Nothing in the way of geometric shapes, as yet.

Although, wait a second! There we go!

Jack, I'm delighted to say, has completed the ground floor

of his pyramid. Now we are getting somewhere.

Jack is very much in the lead.

But Maisy is rallying nicely herself.

This is developing into a nice little battle.

Maisy's got the ground floor, too.

Okechukwu, sadly, hasn't, yet.

He seems to be lagging behind here, Okechukwu.

He really has got to pull his finger out

if he wants to feature in this contest.

Of course, the Ancient Egyptians themselves

were often paid in radishes and garlic for building their Pyramids.

Not sure Okechukwu even deserves half a spring onion

for what he's managed.

A very disappointing salad he's going to be giving to his friends.

Unlike Jack, because look at this!

His second level is now complete.

He just has three more pieces to construct!

Surely it's only a matter of time? Only Maisy can catch him now.

Because, down at the other end,

Okechukwu is destroying what little pyramid he had in the first place.

There is, literally, two pieces on him.

Jack has only got one piece left. Just the pinnacle of the pyramid...

-And it's there!

-There it is!

-It's there. Jack's the winner!

-There it is!

Jack has completed his pyramid

and look at that celebration!

It's a, kind of, mixture of dancing and boxing and...

being a bit silly.

And Okechukwu is distraught.

MUMMY GROANS

Well done, Jack. Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

And did you know that the great Pyramid of Giza

is big enough to cover eight football pitches?

-That's humongous!

-Yes, it is.

Right, time for Round Two.

And, to find out what is up next, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Gorgeous Georgians.

So, you all look pretty happy about the Georgians.

-Have you all revised them?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-No.

-Oh, Jack, you haven't.

-No.

-Bad luck.

The other two are right up for it.

Here are your four Georgian topics...

Maisy, it's your turn to pick first, this time.

-What are you going to have?

-Can I have Women, please?

Women.

True or False?

Women were only allowed to vote in elections in Georgian times

if they were rich.

Honestly! History, you couldn't make it up.

Is that true or is that false?

Let's see your answer now, please.

So, Maisy and Okechukwu going for True.

Jack for False. What is the answer?

It's...

False.

Obviously, no women were allowed to vote in Georgian Britain!

Only male landowners, like me.

-HE CHUCKLES

-Mm!

What a horrible man.

Okechukwu, your turn to choose a topic.

Can I have Death, please?

True or False?

In 1830, William Huskisson died in the first-ever air balloon accident?

So, is that true or false?

William Huskisson died in 1830

in the first-ever air balloon accident?

Interesting. The boys agreeing on True.

Maisy out on her own with False.

What's the actual answer?

It's false.

Huskisson was run over by one of the first-ever trains.

RATTUS MIMICS TRAIN HORN

A train impression there, from Rattus.

Jack, your turn to pick a topic.

I would like Kings, please.

Is this true or is it false?

King George I spoke next to no English.

Is that true or is that false?

Let's see those answers now, please.

Boys agreeing again on True.

Maisy thinks that's False. What's the actual answer?

It's...

true!

That's right. He was actually German.

And, despite being King of Britain, he never bothered to learn English.

-You've never bothered to learn Rat, have you, Dave?

-I can't say have.

RATTUS SPEAKS RAT

LAUGHTER

I dread to think what he just said.

The final question is on Smugglers.

And it's a question from Rattus Rattus.

True or False?

Georgian smugglers used to get valuable lace into the country

by hiding it up a pig's bottom?

So, what do you think? True or False?

This might be my most favouritest question ever!

Let's see your answers now, please.

Jack and Maisy have gone for True.

Okechukwu goes with False.

What the answer, Rattus?

Oh! It's...

false! Ha!

But Georgian smugglers did used to stuff lace down a goose's neck.

-LAUGHTER

-I'm guessing, if you hid lace

up a pig's bum, it wouldn't be so pretty afterwards.

LAUGHTER I think you're absolutely right.

That's the end of the round.

And we see that the boys have a tie on their hands,

with two points each.

But fingers on buzzers, Jack and Okechukwu,

because we are going to our tie-break question...

Beginning with the letter W,

name the type of boots named after the British general

who defeated...? Okechukwu? TOILET FLUSH

Wellingtons.

Wellington is absolutely right, well done.

Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

So, Okechukwu is through to play the Georgian game,

but will he be playing alone,

or will he play with everyone? Let's find out.

It's an All Play silly game.

So, off down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

Lead off, Okechukwu.

Yippee kai yay!

Stinks!

Stinky winky!

Stinky winky, indeed.

DOOR CLANGS

Now, Georgian wigs were huge. THEY GROAN

And with huge wigs came a huge problem -

the number of bugs that called the wig home.

It's time to play...

Flea Fling!

Loads of fleas and lice will be flinging themselves

from a giant Georgian wig.

You have to catch as many bugs in your wig as possible.

The player who catches the most wins the Year Sphere.

Are you ready? It's time to fling those fleas!

HORN BLARES Here we go with the Flea Flinger!

They're all out straightaway.

Lots of fleas and bugs and lice

and all sorts of things coming out of there.

And Okechukwu's made a good start.

There's one already clinging to his wig.

You know you can play along at home, using the Gory Games app,

without having to worry about fleas clinging to your hair.

They are little clingers, Dave, it has to be said.

Ho-ho! And Jack's got one in front of his face.

There's one hanging off Jack's wig.

And it's obscuring his view.

But, to be honest, it's helping him.

I don't know how that works. How does that work?

I'm not sure. The danglers are a bit odd there, Dave.

-Sometimes they help, sometimes they hinder.

-That's danglers for you.

Okechukwu and Jack neck and neck. Well, Jack just forging ahead.

Forging ahead again. Nothing so far for Maisy.

But there's still time left.

And, to be honest, Rattus, it's a very tricky game, this, isn't it?

It's not as easy as it looks.

You've got to keep your eye on the flea,

but then not look at them.

You have to look to see where they're coming from.

But you have to remember to tip

your head forward, in order to

-catch the little blighters!

-If you don't,

you'll cop yourself a flea in the face.

And, because your face

isn't made of Velcro... CLOCK CHIMES

..it will not stick.

That's right. It'll just bounce right off.

It will.

Oh, and Maisy's got one! Excellent. Excellent stuff.

There's another one. Oh, she's on fire now!

But Jack is stretching his lead, ever so slightly.

He's 6-5 up.

Oh, there's a rush of them.

That probably means the end of the game is approaching.

Jack's gone 2 points clear!

That could be a crucial lead, at this stage.

Okechukwu gets one, Maisy gets one.

HORN BLARES Oh, it's terribly close,

but just hanging on, and winning the Flea Fling,

it's Jack!

He's got a wig full of lice, he's got a broad grin

and he's got a flea obscuring his face.

Back behind your podiums. THEY SIGH

Maisy, you were going for them with your face a little bit.

-Did you...?

-I needed to see where they were.

You have to move your head a bit forward,

cos if you look, it will hit your face, not your head.

Jack, you had one ACROSS your face. How did you see anything?

It was just... I saw fleas, lots of fleas, lots of fleas.

And just wafting it about. It was so funny.

Excellent. So, Jack, help yourself to another Year Sphere.

Georgian wig fashion changed over the decades.

Long wigs were popular until the 1760s and then the fashion changed

-to shorter wigs.

-Does that mean that people took the wigs in for

-a haircut?

-I'll press on, if I may?

-Oh, yes, please do.

Lovely... Over to the Gory Grid, then,

-to find out what's up next.

-It's the Vicious Vikings.

And here are your all-important Viking topics...

So, Okechukwu, it's your turn to choose first,

-what are you having?

-I would like to choose Viking Myth.

Let's hear that question, it's a question from Rattus Rattus.

Certainly is...

CLEARS THROAT

According to Viking beliefs, clouds in the sky are really...

-C, the brains of a dead giant.

-Thank you, Rattus.

So, what do you think?

Let's see those answers now, please.

And you're all agreed, you've all gone for C.

Well, Rattus, are they all right or are they all wrong?

Ohh, I'm afraid, Dave...

-They're all right! Yes.

-Yes!

-C, the brains of a dead giant.

Ha-ha, imagine a Viking weather forecast...

"We're expecting plenty of sun of the God of the Sun,

-"with scattered dead giant brains."

-Well done, Rattus.

-OK, Jack, your turn to pick a topic.

-I would like Blood Axe, please.

How did Viking Egil Skalla-Grimsson - real name -

save his own life when he met his enemy King Eric Bloodaxe?

He pretended to be someone else.

He wrote a nice poem.

He begged for mercy on his knees.

The answer is D, definitely D.

Let's see those answers now, please.

The boys are going for B. Maisy, on her own, with A.

What's the answer?

The answer is B. He wrote such a good poem,

the king decided not to kill him.

Maisy, it's your turn to choose a topic.

Can I have Slaves, please?

What was a Viking slave called?

So, what was a Viking slave called?

Let's see those answers now, please. Look at that. Jack and Maisy

agreeing with A. Okechukwu going for C.

What's the answer?

The answer is A, a thrall. We gave them nice names like,

Oaf, Stinking and Blob Nose. I-I think they liked them,

-I really do.

-Maybe they did, maybe they didn't, we'll never know.

OK, one question left in this round...

Let's hear it now.

Let's see if you know this one.

My question is...

Maisy had a reaction to that question,

I think maybe she thinks she's got it...

A, B or C? Show me now.

Look at that, complete agreement across the board,

everyone's gone for B. Are they all right or are they all wrong?

The answer is...

Brilliant!

-Yes!

-So, at the end of that round, Jack, with another

maximum score, has won himself a Year Sphere.

Help yourself to your fourth Year Sphere, Jack.

So, Jack, as the quiz winner you are obviously through to play

the Viking Game, but will you play alone

or will the others play, too? Let's find out.

This time it's a Single Player Brainy Game,

so, Jack...

Go down that Time Sewer on your own.

JACK SHRIEKS

Many Vikings had names that spread terror,

names like Eric Bloodaxe, that conjure up images of

huge, hairy, axe-wielding Vikings. But not all Vikings

had quite such terrifying names. It's time to play the...

Seven Viking names, but two are made up.

You have to work out which five are real.

Choose five names and move them to the Real board.

Then, touch the Viking axe - I think it's been washed -

to find out how many you've got right. Keep trying

new combinations of names until you've got all five,

but you've got to be quick, you're against the clock.

And your time starts now.

HOOTER

Here we go, then, with the Viking Name Game.

He's got to choose the five genuine Viking names

and stick them on that board. And there's his first one...

That sounds like a name to conjure with, doesn't it, Rattus?

-It certainly does, Dave.

-Yeah, I wonder of he had a forky beard?

I'm suspecting he probably did. Well, he's gone for two,

he's got a second one up there, there goes

Eric The Scared, along with Goodmund The Excellent.

Here comes the fourth one, what's he chosen?

And to complete his line-up -

(Olaf The Quiet.)

SCREAM

And there's one of those wrong, which is it going to be?

What do you think it is? Eric The Scared comes off,

I wonder if that was the wrong one. Up goes Eysteinn The Farter!

SCREAM

And Eysteinn The Farter was a genuine man,

can you believe it? What cruel, cruel, parents.

Back you come, Jack. Help yourself to another Year Sphere.

Look at that, you've got a full podium.

Well done, and you're quite right. Harold Pudding Face

and Eric The Scared aren't real Viking names.

Rattus, do you know what British city is named

after Sweyn Forkbeard?

Oh, yes, I do, I know this, I know this...

Sweyn, Sweyn...

Swansea! Swansea!

Correct. So, to those of you who live in Swansea,

be grateful your city wasn't named Forkbeardsea.

Or, more importantly, it wasn't named after

Eysteinn The Farter...

LAUGHTER

Time for the final round

and what's the Gory Grid got for us this time?

-It's the Terrible Tudors.

-No quirky quiz in our final round,

it's straight to our big, all-play Tudor Endgame

and it's a very, very silly one. Everyone, get down

that Time Sewer.

-Cowabunga!

-Oh, it stinks!.

Geronimo!

THEY COUGH

Now, Henry VIII certainly liked his food.

Nonsense! I didn't like food, I loved it.

-Absolutely loved it.

-All right, he loved his food

and he wants feeding now. It's time to play...

You have to grab pies and chuck them into the hungry king's mouth.

A task that can only be hindered by the fact that we've attached you

to bungee ropes, apologies for that. The person who gets

the most pies in their Henry's mouth, in the time limit,

wins the Year Sphere. Three, two, one, it's pie time!

HOOTER

Here we go, then, with Who Ate All The Pies?

And the answer, of course , to that is Henry VIII.

And it's all about technique this game and there's...

Oh, I have to say, I like Okechukwu's,

oh, I like that a lot, that is the classic Frisbee.

And look what he does, look what he does here.

Oh, beautiful, two out of two. What Okechukwu's doing

is that he's resisting the spring-back tension in the bungee,

he's steadying himself, and then he's just Frisbeeing

the pies straight through the gob. Here he goes again,

look at this. Textbook. Beautiful stuff.

Wow, what a tremendous player he is. And the others are shellshocked.

They are absolutely shell-shocked by what's happening

in Okechukwu's lane here. There's Jack, he's got the underarm

hoick going and he scores one there. Fair play to him.

The pieman busying himself, as always,

a terrific pieman this, very lucky to get him.

-He really does prepare a lovely pie.

-I wonder whether or not

fruit or meat is having an effect here,

cos some of the pies are meat, some of them are seafood,

and some of them are just full of cotton wool.

Well, that's interesting, it's a very, very interesting

point, Rattus, because that will affect the trajectory,

although whether Henry VIII would have liked seafood,

I think he's very much a meat pie man, isn't he, Rattus?

-OI would have said so, Dave.

-Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if he was

allergic to seafood. And to dieting, of course.

She gets pinged back very sharply, doesn't she, Maisy?

She does get pinged back sharply, Dave, but the tension is

set to the right momentum for the size and weight of the child.

Well, that's extremely clear. Thank you for clearing that one up,

Rattus, that's certainly made our understanding of the game

much deeper.

GONG

-30 seconds remaining.

-So, 30 seconds left. Now...

Okechukwu is well out in front, four pies to the good at the moment.

They're all beginning to tire now. It really does get tiring

very quickly this game. And I think Okechukwu's done enough

early on to win this comfortably. He's doing tremendously well.

It really was exciting the way he started off the game.

Oh, dear! That was a tired, tired fling that from Maisy.

Actually, she nearly got hit in the face by a pie

in the pieman's hand there.

HOOTER

-Time's up.

-And it's all over, respite at last for Maisy,

who collapses in a heap on the ground.

But our winner, without question, six pies to three,

is Okechukwu. And there he is, struggling for breath.

Get back behind those podiums. Well played, well played, indeed.

Very interesting to see three very different techniques on display

during that game. Maisy...

-How did you find it?

-Eh, hard. Cos I ...

I ran, but I couldn't throw, cos I just...

Got pulled back so much, so I had the same pie

-for about five goes.

-Henry's stomach must have been rumbling.

Okechukwu, help yourself to a Year Sphere.

One Tudor feast at Greenwich Palace lasted for seven hours.

And the food didn't come on plates, it was served on trenchers,

-which are huge slabs of bread.

-So, even the plates were edible?

Ah, those Tudors really did think of everything!

It's time to count up those Year Spheres.

And remember, AD dates are added to your total

and BC years are subtracted. OK, Jack, let's see what you've got.

That was the year Boadicea rebelled against the Romans.

It's bad, but it's not a disaster.

Queen Victoria marries Prince Albert, you're back in the positive.

The death of Pharaoh Ramesses II. You're still in the positive,

it's all good.

The fall of the Roman Empire, that year. Let's have a look

at your final one, it could be crucial.

Oh, my word, Jack!

The oldest caveman pots and bowls dated from round about then.

So, that's meant that you've ended up with

a total of...

Maisy, I can tell you what you've got. You've got nought,

which, at the moment, puts you firmly in the lead.

RATTUS CHUCKLES

So, Okechukwu, zero to beat, let's open that first one...

Vikings won the Battle of Maldon.

It's all coming down to this second sphere,

let's have a look at it...

The Incan Empire destroyed by Spanish conquistadors,

-Okechukwu, you are today's champion...

-Yes!

The bad news is, I entrusted Rattus with finding the prize.

Actually, the prize is an important historical artefact.

-Really?

-Oh, yes. You see, back in 1632,

a Puritan called Will Prynne wrote a book condemning the theatre

as "evil"! Whoa, ho-ho!

Unfortunately, the king quite liked a spot of acting,

so the book was condemned as treason

and Will Prynne had his ears cut off as a punishment!

Oh! So, an original edition of that historic book would make quite

-a prize.

-What? And you've actually found one of them

-in the Time Sewer?.

-Nope, but I did find Will Prynne's severed ears!

-Oh, what is wrong with you?

-I wouldn't know where to start.

Okechukwu, congratulations!

-There you go, Okechukwu...

-Thank you.

-I'm sorry it's just

a couple of ears on a plinth. It just remains for me to say

thanks to Maisy, to Jack, and to Okechukwu.

-And no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

-Oh, that's OK.

-You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.

-Goodbye!

So, did you know all the answers? Then, prove it.

Next time, why not play along, by downloading the Gory Games app

from the CBBC website?

Keep watching!

We'll be back again.

With Horrible History's Gory Games.

Horrible History's Gory...

..Games!