Episode 6 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# You'd better turn off This show ain't for you

# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# ..Games! #

Hello, and welcome to Gory Games, with me, Dave Lamb.

You may have heard me on Come Dine With Me.

And me, Rattus Rattus. You may have heard me rooting through your bins.

-Ohh!

-And can I just thank the couple at No 17 Riverside Road

for throwing out that chicken carcass? Cheers, guys.

This is the show

where you get to test your knowledge of horrible histories

with quirky quiz questions and gory games.

So, before Rattus thanks anyone else for their leftovers,

let's meet our Horrible Historians.

Introduce yourselves, please.

-Hi, I'm Joanne.

-Hello, Joanne.

-Hi, I'm James.

-Welcome, James.

Hi, I'm Ty!

You can play along, too, if you've got the amazing Gory Games app.

If you haven't got it yet, go to the CBBC website.

Joanne, James and Ty, you're playing to win Year Spheres.

Each Year Sphere contains a historical date.

At the end of the show, your Year Sphere dates will be added up,

with AD dates being added to your total

and BC dates being subtracted from it.

So, if these were your Year Spheres, your total would be, Rattus?

-Er, six?

-No.

-Has it got six in it?

-No.

-It's 735.

-Ah, so close.

At the end of the show,

the person with the highest year score will win a fantastic prize.

Chosen by yours truly.

Maybe not a fantastic prize, then, but a prize nonetheless.

Right, off we go,

and to find out what Round One's all about, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Measly Middle Ages.

So, four questions on the Measly Middle Ages coming up.

The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

And your four topics are...

Joanne, you get to pick first this round. What's it going to be?

-Ink.

-Ink.

True or false - Monks used to make ink from squished woodlice.

Hm. So, true or false...

Monks used to make ink from squished woodlice.

Let's see your answers now, please.

And you've all gone for false.

Interesting. Let's hear what the correct answer is.

It's false.

But they did use wasps' eggs, mixed with vinegar,

gum to thicken it, and copper water for colour.

You've all made a fantastic start.

It's a point each. James, it's your turn to choose a topic.

-I choose Washing.

-Washing.

True or false...

In the Middle Ages,

peasants used to wash their clothes in buckets of poo.

What a question that was!

Middle Age peasants used to wash clothes in buckets of poo.

Is that true or false?

Well, time. Joanne going for false. James thinks that true.

Interesting. Let's hear the correct answer.

It's false,

although they did wash their clothes in buckets of wee.

-SHE SNIFFS

-Mm, fragrant!

So, there you go, you see?

Washing your clothes in poo is probably not a very good idea.

Mind you, neither's washing them in wee, and they used to do that.

Ty, your turn to choose a topic.

Swords!

Bet you don't know this one.

Hm, interesting.

The medieval great sword was too heavy to be held in one hand.

Well, a clean sweep of trues. What's the answer?

It's true.

It was massive - as tall as a man.

Look at the scores. Three points each for Joanne and Ty,

two for James, with one question left.

James, you can still bring this into a tie-breaker situation.

The final question is on Kings. Let's hear it now, please.

True or false...

In 1216, King John lost his crown jewels.

They were being transported along the coast

when the tide came in and swept them out to sea.

So, in 1216, King John lost his crown jewels.

They were being transported along the coast,

they were swept out to sea.

Is that true or is it false?

Everybody has gone for false.

What's the actual answer?

It's true. King John also died in 1216.

I think it's safe to say 1216 wasn't his best year.

Awful, losing your jewels and dying. Terrible business.

But I'm afraid no-one got that right.

But what it does mean is that Joanne and Ty have drawn that round.

We're in a tie-breaker situation.

Ty and Joanne, fingers on your buzzers.

The first person to buzz in and give me the correct answer

wins the Year Sphere.

Beginning with the letter "H",

what is the name of the battle at which William the Conqueror...?

ATCHOO!

-Joanne?

-Hastings.

Hastings is absolutely right, Joanne. You have won the quiz.

Time to choose your Year Sphere.

Push, push, push, push. Agh!

I hope you don't pick the one with the Stone-Age date

worth a few million minus points.

But I can think of at least two people who hope you do.

-Bye!

-That's them there.

-Push, push, push, push.

OK, Joanne, you've won the quiz, so you're automatically through

to play the Measly Middle Ages Game.

But will you be playing alone, or will everyone get a go?

Let's find out.

It's an All Play Gory Game. You can hear them celebrating.

They want to get down there, so let's put them out of their misery.

Off down the Time Sewer with all of you.

Wurgh!

There goes Ty.

Ohh!

At William the Conqueror's funeral,

his servants stole his jewels and the church burnt down.

Apart from that, everything went very smoothly. It's time to play...

You are William's servants

and your challenge is to take his treasure and put it in your chest.

All the treasure is colour-coded

and you must only take your own colour.

Whoever collects the most pieces wins the Year Sphere.

And you'd better be quick, because the church is going to burn down.

Your time starts...

HONK!

So, here we go, then, with Yuckaroo!

Treasure needs to be colour-coded.

They need to steal their own bit of treasure

and pop it in their chest.

You must have done a bit of theft in your time, Rattus?

I don't know what you're saying, Dave.

I've never stolen anything.

Well, a likely story!

Look, he's unscrewing that candlestick.

As much as he can. Oh, he's doing quite well, though, Ty.

I think he's off to a pretty decent start.

That seems to be two pieces he's got.

Joanne also off the mark.

James is having one or two problems with that crown,

but he's got it off now and it's in the chest.

Can I just make it clear

that we're not in any way encouraging stealing?

What, even if you're stealing

from a murderous tyrant from the Middle Ages.

-Yes, even then.

-Oh.

Yeah, they're all trying these things.

They're finding them a little bit difficult to remove.

Most of them are bolted down.

I don't know about you, but the area I live in,

-if it's not bolted down, it goes.

-TUMMY RUMBLES

Oh, and his stomach has exploded!

I may have failed to tell you

that the stomach exploded during the funeral.

But there it is. You saw it with your own eyes.

The guts absolutely everywhere,

and let's hope that hasn't put them off too much.

RATTUS CACKLES

Now, this game is more my cup of tea,

or, as we rats say, my dustbin of entrails.

Can't imagine what the smell is like,

with all the entrails, guts and gore spread everywhere.

You're absolutely right.

That doesn't come across from the pictures.

It must be humming in there. BELL TOLLS

-'30 seconds remaining.'

-Guts everywhere.

-These are the guts of a dead person. Not a live one.

-Not a live one.

-Not nice, fragrant guts.

-No.

There's another piece of treasure going in for James.

He may be mounting something of comeback. It's very, very close.

And look out! The church is on fire.

There's smoke rising up. They're going to have to finish.

They're going to have to finish it fast.

-'Time's up.'

-That's how it's finished.

And, of course, that is what actually happened

at William the Conqueror's funeral.

-The church did catch fire.

-What a result.

Welcome back. Take your places.

With a total of six pieces, the winner was Ty.

Collect your Year Sphere now.

So, tell me, everybody, did you enjoy Yuckaroo?

-ALL:

-Yes.

-Who actually saw the stomach explode?

-Me, I did.

I went, like, "Oooh!"

-You weren't expecting it?

-No.

-No.

-I thought it was going to pop up.

-So, the explosion was probably quite a good thing.

-Mm.

Over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day.

Four questions again. Here are your four Victorian topics...

James, it's your turn to pick first this time.

Queen Victoria.

The question is as follows...

Was it A, dogs? B, bishops? Or C, top hats?

Let me see your answers now, please.

Look at that! Everyone seems very confident that it's B.

-Let's find out.

-The answer is...

You were absolutely right. Well played indeed.

She had a fear of bishops as a small child

and she kept it into adulthood.

I, too, have an irrational fear - of soup and clean water.

It is irrational, and it's very unfortunate for me.

Ty, your turn to pick a topic.

I'm going to go for Eccentrics.

Which of these would you not have found

inside the 2nd Baron Rothschild's house?

A, snakes twined around the banisters?

B, a lion wearing a bowtie?

Or C, 12 dressed monkeys having a dinner party?

Was it A, snakes twined around the banisters?

B, a lion wearing a bowtie?

Or C, 12 dressed monkeys having a dinner party?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Wow! Everybody thinks it's B. Let's find out.

It's B, a lion wearing a bowtie.

Imagine trying to put a bowtie on a lion!

The 2nd Baron Rothschild was eccentric, not crazy.

RATTUS CHUCKLES

-You fancy putting a bowtie on a lion, Rattus?

-Not really, no.

No. But you've all scored two points.

This is a tremendous round for all of you.

Joanne, it's your turn to pick a topic.

I'll pick Cars.

How fast was the speed limit for early Victorian cars?

So, what was the speed limit for early Victorian cars?

Well, this is extraordinary! They're all in total agreement again.

-But are they right?

-The answer is...

And who could ever want to travel faster than that?

I mean, it would be madness.

Victorian Top Gear can't have been very exciting.

The track record would have been two hours.

Yeah, Victorians didn't have TV.

I know. I was just joking. It was just a silly joke.

You're all doing amazingly well.

You've got three points each.

This is the last question in this round.

It is about Gadgets, and it's a prop question.

-Oh, it's a prop question! I like a prop question.

-Prop question.

-Oooh, look!

-That is a prop.

This is a genuine Victorian contraption,

but what was it used for?

You won't believe the answer to this one!

Let's see those answers now, please.

It's all in total agreement again!

You've all gone for B, oiling bicycles.

And, on this occasion, you're all absolutely wrong.

RATTUS LAUGHS

I know! Look at Ty's face - he can't believe it.

The answer was C.

-This was for filling doughnuts.

-Filling doughnuts!

RATTUS LAUGHS

Well, what that means, of course, is that we have a three-way tie.

That means fingers on your buzzers. Here we go.

Beginning with the letter "V",

which queen, famous for wearing black clothes...?

TOILET FLUSHES Ty.

-Victoria.

-Is the right answer.

Well done, Ty. You have just won yourself a second Year Sphere.

He's quick off the mark.

OK, Ty, as the quiz winner,

you're also through to play the Victorian Game.

But will it be just you, or will the others all play, too?

It's a Single Player Brainy Game.

Ty, get yourself down that Time Sewer. Go on, fella.

Hurgh!

Not everyone in Victorian times

had a sensible name like Queen Victoria - oh, no.

In fact, some had some very silly names.

For instance, Princess Cheese.

That was a real Victorian name. She wasn't a real princess.

I think I'd remember if we'd had a Queen Cheese.

RATTUS CHUCKLES

It's time to play...

Seven Victorian names, but two are totally made up.

Your challenge - to work out which five are real.

Choose five names and move them to the Real Board.

Then touch the Princess Cheese

to find out how many you've got right.

Keep trying new combinations of names

until you've got all five, and your time starts now.

HONK!

Ty is off. So, we're looking for real Victorian names.

He's gone for Scary Looker.

Oh, Minty Badger. Minty Badger getting a run-out, eh, Rattus.

-That's good news.

-You're not wrong, Dave.

And there it is. That's Farting Clack. Farting Clack.

I don't know about Farting Clack or Minty Badger, Dave,

but I did once live on a river bank near a farting badger.

Too much information there, Rattus.

Incidentally, you can, of course, play along at home

using the Gory Games app.

TOOT-TOOT Oh, sorry.

-'You have four right.'

-He's got one wrong.

John Idiot going in there, off the subs bench.

-TOOT-TOOT

-'You have all five right.'

He has done it!

He has won that game in extraordinary time.

The Princess Cheese only got two hammerings.

So, he was quite right.

Artemis Bumwhistle and Stupid Cupid were made up,

but the other, remarkably, were all genuine Victorian names.

-John Idiot was a real Victorian?

-Yes, he was, Rattus.

Do you think he had a descendant, Dave Idiot?!

RATTUS LAUGHS

THEY LAUGH

-Just asking.

-Over to the Gory Grid to find out who's up next.

It's the Awful Egyptians.

And here are your four Egyptian topics...

Ty, it's your turn to lead us off.

-Toothpaste!

-Toothpaste.

Here's what I want to know...

A, crushed bat?

B, liquefied snail?

Or C, chopped mouse?

-Oh, this question is disgusting!

-Steady, Rattus.

What do you think? Is it A, B or C?

Let's see your answers now, please.

So, you've all gone for C.

Well, I can tell you the answer is...

We used chopped-up mouse.

You should not use mice to clean your teeth.

They're disgusting little things,

with their little tails and their strange little whiskers.

Have you looked in a mirror recently?

So, that's a point each there. Well done.

Joanne, it's your turn to pick a topic.

-Mummies.

-That is a prop question.

I like the prop questions.

Hello! A mummy's hand. Hello, everyone.

Lovely. Mummification was very popular in Ancient Egypt,

and so many mummies were dug up in the Victorian era,

they became used for all sorts of things.

But which of these was not one of them?

Was it A, making newspaper?

B, scaring birds away from fields?

Or C, repairing cracked walls?

It's either A, B or C.

Let's have your answers now, please.

Ah, so Ty and Joanne with A.

James - B.

The answer is...

B, James. The mummy's going to give you a point.

Mummies were not used for scaring birds away from fields,

but they were mulched and used as newspaper,

as well as filler for walls.

Excellent. James, your turn to pick.

-I'm going to pick Festivals.

-Festivals.

What did we pharaohs have to wear during the Heb Sed festival?

A, our pineapple on our head?

B, a wolf's tail on our backside?

Or C, a monkey on our shoulder?

Is it A, B or C? Let's see those answers now, please.

Three Cs. All in complete agreement.

Let's see if they're all right.

The answer is B, a wolf's tail on our backside.

And let me tell you,

I wasn't very happy about it.

-Nor was the wolf, for that matter.

-I'm not surprised.

So, you all got that one wrong,

which means, as we come to the last question in the round,

James is in the lead.

James, if you get this right, you've won yourself your first Year Sphere.

The remaining category is Ramesses IV.

When archaeologists found the mummy of Pharaoh Ramesses IV,

what was unusual about it?

Was it A, he was actually a woman?

B, he had seven fingers on one hand?

Or C, his eyes had been replaced with onions?

Oh, come on, it's easy! If you already know the answer.

Let's see those answers now, please.

You've all gone for C.

Let's hear if you're right.

The answer is C.

His eyes had been replaced with onions.

Onions!

Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

Onions were, of course, valuable

and sometimes the eyes were replaced with valuable things.

-So, James, you have won yourself your first Year Sphere.

-Yeah!

Pick away.

They're shiny, they're round! They come from out of the ground!

Year Spheres! Year Spheres!

-No reason. Just felt like it.

-Lovely, Rattus.

So, James, you're through to play the Egyptian Game.

But will it be just you, or will everybody else be coming along?

It's time to find out.

It's an All Play Brainy Game.

It's off down the Time Sewer with all of you.

-There goes Ty.

-Wurgh!

-There goes James.

-Ooh-ooh!

And there goes Joanne.

Now, Egyptian pharaohs like to be buried in style,

and what could be more stylish than a pyramid?

It's time to play...

It took about two million heavy blocks to build an Egyptian pyramid,

and you've just got nine light ones.

Your challenge - to work out which block goes where.

To help you get going, we've already put one block in place.

First of you to finish wins the Year Sphere.

So, ready, steady...

Get building. HONK!

And they're off! They've got to build a pyramid.

Sounds easy, doesn't it, Rattus? Rattus? Rattus?!

Well, yes, the Pyramid Puzzle did come with instructions.

Unfortunately, they were all in hieroglyphics.

That's not going to be an awful lot of use here.

So, the first pieces now beginning to go into place.

And it's a big piece.

Joanne also going in for a big piece.

James has started with a slightly smaller piece.

Interesting to see the different tactics.

I'm not so sure it's tactics, Dave,

as just sort of blind, wild guessing.

Well, yes, that's the unkind way of looking at it.

I like to think they're using their tactical nous here.

Joanne weighing this up.

Look at James! He's doing extremely well there.

What an excellent start this is from James.

Ty is all over the place, let's be fair.

With the best will in the world,

you're not going to make a pyramid like that.

And James, he's got that upside down at the moment.

Let's hope he turns it round. Of course he's turned it round.

Ty looks as if he's doing well, but I don't think he is.

Whereas Joanne is doing very, very nicely.

She has the whole ground floor in place, as it were,

and she's beginning to start on the first floor.

There's the first piece of the first floor.

James is not too far behind,

assuming the pieces he's already got down are right.

I'm not sure they are, to be honest.

And they need to realise

that each piece will only fit in one specific place.

That's the whole point.

Yes, yeah, one of those pieces is quite clearly wrong.

That's not sitting squarely on the plinth at all.

I don't know what Ty's building, but it's definitely not a pyramid.

Joanne is getting very close to completing this pyramid, I think.

It's taking shape very, very nicely indeed.

That's another level completed.

Three more pieces to go for Joanne.

That's another piece in place!

A huge crack in her pyramid. We won't hold that against her.

-Here comes the top piece!

-One more!

-She's about to take the sphere.

-Joanne, come on!

-Yes! Yes, yes! Joanne wins hands down.

-Joanne!

And her hands go up in triumph.

Well done, Joanne. Collect your Year Sphere.

A quick look at the scores means that Ty has three Year Spheres,

Joanne has two and James has one.

So, everybody's in the game. That's fantastic.

Time now for the final round.

It's over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out who we've got.

It's the Terrible Tudors.

No quirky quiz in our final round.

It's straight to our big All Play Tudor Endgame,

and it is a silly one.

-Everybody get back down that Time Sewer.

-Not again!

I know! I'm sorry, Joanne. This will be the last time, I promise.

-It's no secret that Henry VIII liked his food.

-Oh, yes!

It's true, I can't deny it. Ha-ha-ha! Look at that.

TUMMY RUMBLES

You see? And now he wants feeding. It's time to play...

You have to collect pies and fling them into Henry's mouth.

Sounds easy. It would be, if you weren't attached to a bungee cord.

The person who gets the most pies in their Henry's mouth

in the time limit wins the Year Sphere.

Three, two, one. It's pie time. HONK!

Here we go with Who Ate All The Pies?

And the answer's going to be Henry VIII,

because there are three of him with their mouths wide open

while our plucky gamers try to run up the lane on their bungee cords

and hurl pies into his open mouth.

There's our pieman. This is his fourth appearance this season.

He's a terrific pieman. We're very lucky to get him.

They're running down their lanes.

No pies have found their mark yet.

There's Ty. He's already beginning to tire, I think.

That one just misses to the right.

There's one. Cops his on the chin. One on the nose.

Rattus, this is very exciting, but not many pies finding their mark.

That's right, not many pies finding their mark at all.

We've got three Henries, all with their mouths wide open,

but not a single pie has gone through, as far as I can see.

Some varying techniques being employed.

Ty going with the underarm hoik.

And, of course, some of the others

going with the more classical Frisbee delivery.

There's a perfect example.

Henry's diet is even more unhealthy than mine,

and that's saying something, I can tell you!

-There's one gone in!

-There's one!

Yes, Joanne has fed Henry his first pie.

They're not getting many in.

They're not, and I think they're beginning to tire.

It's a very difficult game.

I played this earlier on and failed miserably.

As, I'm afraid, are our contestants at the moment.

James scores! Joanne's got another!

-There's one!

-There's two!

That was extraordinary!

After a long period of nothing happening, James and Joanne scored.

Oh, and Joanne's scored again! This is tremendous.

Dear me, Ty's fallen over there,

but that bungee cord recoiling and whipping him back.

James, though, look at that concentration.

-Oooh!

-Lovely shot, caught him right in the eyes.

And I think Joanne landed another one there.

She's way out in front now. She's surely not going to be caught.

'Time's up.'

The game is over.

The pieman stands with two pies that'll never be flung in anger,

and Joanne is our winner.

Back you come, Gory Gamers.

Joanne! Please pick yourself another Year Sphere.

Hm...

That one.

So, now it's time to count up those Year Spheres.

And remember, AD years are added to your total

and BC years subtracted from it.

So, the fact that you've only got one, James,

does not mean that you're out of the running.

Joanne, we start with you. Open your Year Spheres first.

1658 AD.

The death of Oliver Cromwell.

1918 AD.

The end of the First World War. And the last one.

1875 AD.

Law bans child chimney sweeps.

But you have got an impressive 5,451 points.

-Ho, ho, ho, ho!

-Wow!

James, this is going to be difficult with one sphere.

Let's see what you've got in there.

Oh, ho, ho!

It's 2560 BC.

The Great Pyramid at Giza was finished that year.

Unfortunately, so are your chances of winning today.

But that's history - it's horrible.

Ty, you've got 5,451 to beat.

Let's see what you've got in your spheres.

867 AD.

The Viking army was captured in York.

1603 AD.

The death of Queen Elizabeth I.

This is the all-important one. Let's have a look at it.

1801 AD.

Ireland joins Great Britain and the Union Jack is created.

That gives you a total of 4,271.

Which means that today's winner, with 5,451 points, is Joanne.

-Yay!

-Yay!

Who goes home with our star prize.

Bits of old historical tat picked out of the Time Sewer

by my flea-ridden friend here.

So, what's the big prize, then, Rattus?

Well, you've probably heard of the expression "winning by a nose".

Well, Joanne, you've just won a nose.

-Thanks.

-Yes, a Saxon nose.

Saxons had a system called weregild,

which meant if you inured someone -

chopped off their nose, for instance -

you had to pay them for the damage.

-Not me. I just found it.

-Obviously.

Congratulations, Joanne.

Joanne, you've done so well and you've ended up with a human nose.

-Er...

-I do apologise.

But at least you get to tickle his nasal hair when you so desire.

It just remains for me to say thanks to our champion, Joanne,

and also to our gallant runners-up, James and Ty.

And to say no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

Ah, come on, you're missing me already.

-You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

Next time, why not play along

by downloading the Gory Games app from the CBBC website?

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