Episode 3 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# You better turn off This show ain't for you

# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# ..Games! #

Hello, and welcome to Gory Games with me, Dave Lamb.

And me, Rattus Rattus,

fresh from my annual bath.

Wow! Well, perhaps I should take this rare opportunity

to give you a bit of a stroke, seeing as you're clean.

Aw, he's lovely.

He's lovely. HE CHUCKLES

You don't know what I'm doing behind your back.

And you don't know what rats bathe in.

Ugh!

Ugh. Ugh!

HE LAUGHS That is disgusting.

Which I'm afraid is about all you can expect on this show,

which tests your knowledge of Horrible Histories by playing

the goriest games we could think of.

But before we can start,

we're going to need some Horrible Historians.

-Hi, I'm Hannah.

-Hi, I'm Noah.

Hi, I'm Daisy.

And you can play along at home too, using the Gory Games app.

If you haven't got it yet, check out the CBBC website.

Welcome, one and all.

You are playing to win Year Spheres.

Each Year Sphere contains a historical date

and at the end of the show, your dates will be added up

with AD dates being added to your total

and BC dates being subtracted from it.

So, if these were your Year Spheres, your total would be, Rattus?

-Can I use a calculator?

-If you must.

Can someone show me how to use it?

It's 735.

Oh, do you know, that brain of yours works well for its age,

-doesn't it?

-All right, that's enough. That's enough.

And, of course, the person with the highest Year score

at the end of the show will take home a unique historical prize.

Oh, that's right. One I picked out with my own fair paws.

Enough said. Right, let's get cracking.

And to find out what this round's about, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Vile Victorians.

Good day!

Four questions on the Victorians coming up.

The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

And your four Victorian topics are...

Hannah, it's your turn to pick first this round.

What's it going to be?

-Sport.

-Sport.

In 1875, Matthew Webb became the first man to what?

Was it A - to score a hat-trick in the cup final,

B - to run a mile under four minutes

or C - swim the English Channel?

Was Matthew Webb a footballer, a runner or a swimmer?

Let's see those answers now, please.

Everyone is agreed on C.

Are they all wrong or are they all right?

The answer is C.

He swam the English Channel.

In 1883, he attempted to swim the rapids above Niagara Falls.

Didn't go very well.

He snuffed it.

So, you're all off to a great start.

That's a point apiece.

Noah, your turn to pick a topic. What's it going to be?

-Gadgets.

-Gadgets.

That is a prop question.

# Prop question, prop question... #

And here is the prop.

OK, this is a genuine Victorian contraption.

But what was it for?

Is it A - stretching top hats?

Is it B - cleaning cannon barrels?

Or is it C - an automatic hair-cutting device?

Let's your see answers now, please.

OK, the girls agreeing on B.

Noah out on his own with A.

The answer is A.

It's a device for stretching top hats.

Daisy, it is your turn to pick a topic.

-Queen Victoria.

-Queen Victoria.

Let's see how clever you really are.

So, what did Queen Victoria love?

Was it A - insects?

Was it B - eating turtle soup?

Or was it C - opera music?

Oh, it's complete agreement.

Everybody thinks it's C.

Are they all right or are they all wrong?

Righty ho.

The answer is...

C - she loved opera music.

Well, they were, of course, all right.

And she hated insects and turtle soup. Excellent.

So, the scores, therefore, are Noah with three,

Hannah and Daisy with two.

There's one question left and it is on schools.

If you were caught talking in class at a Victorian school,

you were punished with the log.

But what did that punishment involve?

Was it A - a heavy log being strapped to your shoulders,

B - being beaten with a log,

or C - having to roll a heavy log up a hill?

All horrible, but is it A, B or C?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Split of opinion.

Hannah and Noah going for B.

Daisy on her own with A.

The answer is A.

A heavy log was strapped to your shoulders.

That stopped the talking, all right!

Well, that means at the end of that round,

we have ourselves a tie-break situation.

Hannah, for now, you're history, don't buzz in in this round.

But Noah and Daisy, fingers on your buzzers

because we're about to do the tie-break question.

Here we go.

Beginning with the letter R, which sport began as football

but adopted new rules, an odd-shaped ball and a new name in 1871...?

SQUELCH Noah?

-Rugby.

-Rugby is the correct answer.

Well done, Noah, you've just won the quiz.

It's time to choose your Year Sphere from our trolley-wolley.

Oh! Push...shove...ah.

Ah, come on, Noah, come and choose your Year Sphere,

lighten me load.

But be warned, one of those Year Spheres

has a Stone Age date inside

that could be worth a few million minus points.

Back to your podium. Thanks very much.

-HE GROANS

-Push, push...

Oh, no, it's lighter. Whee!

Winning the quiz means that Noah is automatically through

to play the Victorian Game.

But will he be alone or will everyone get to play?

Let's find out.

It's a single player Brainy Game.

So, Noah, get your thinking cap on, get down that Time Sewer.

In a seated position! Strange.

Everyone loves magic, right?

Well, I bet Victorian engineer Isambard Kingdom Brunel

went off it a bit when a trick he was doing went wrong

and he ended up with a large coin lodged in his windpipe.

He eventually managed to dislodge it using a clever device.

It's time to play...

Your challenge is to work out which cog goes where.

Once they're all in the right place,

you can turn the wheel and flip Brunel upside down

to dislodge the coin and win your Year Sphere.

But be quick - you're against the clock,

which is starting to tick now.

HORN HONKS So, here goes Noah, then,

on Barmy Brunel.

That tiny little cog's not going anywhere, is it, Rattus?

Tiny little cogs seldom do, Dave.

That's a better cog.

It's quite small but it certainly actually fits in there,

which is good.

Dave, I have to say, this series of poorly fitting cogs,

surely this is what the inside of your brain looks like.

Who said that?

He seems to be approaching this very methodically, doesn't he, Rattus?

He certainly is. He's taking a great deal of care

and consideration over each of those heavy, heavy brass cogs.

He knows that the cogs need to be able to touch each other,

and for me, that's going to make this quite easy for him,

because once you've worked that out,

it really does become just a case of trial and error.

You can guess at home if he's going to do it or not

using the Gory Games app.

But you better be quick.

It's a terrific display, this.

Dave, my fear here is that one day the machines will turn against us.

(Was that just a film I saw?)

Either way, I think you're right.

It would be horrific to have the machines turn against us,

but this machine might be turning itself here!

One more to get in. He just needs to wiggle that, surely.

It's there.

There he goes turning it.

There goes Brunel! And I think that coin will be nestling

in the roof of his mouth now.

Oh! He's had to put his fingers in but he's claimed it.

He's claimed it. Noah has saved Brunel's life!

And doesn't he look pleased with himself?

Congratulations... Oh, help yourself.

-RATTUS LAUGHS

-Straight in there.

Well done, Noah. Very good work.

Your second Year Sphere is in place.

Lovely. On to Round Two.

And to find out what's up next, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Awful Egyptians.

Four questions as always, then,

on the Awful Egyptians.

Noah, it is your turn to pick first.

-Fashion.

-Fashion.

Who wore the most make up in Egypt?

..or C - they both wore the same amount.

Was it A - men, B - women,

or was it C - that they both wore the same amount?

Let's see those answers now, please.

Noah and Hannah have gone for A.

Daisy all on her own with C.

What's the answer?

The answer is C.

Men and women both wore the same amount.

Do you like my eyeshadow?

It's macho, isn't it?

Not the word I'd use.

Daisy, your turn to pick a topic.

Erm...Pyramids.

Pyramids.

That is a question from Rattus Rattus.

According to archaeologists,

how many workers were needed to build the Great Pyramid of Giza?

Was it...?

It's either A, B or C.

Let's see those answers now, please.

Oh, look at that.

Everybody has gone for C.

Oh, the answer is...

The Great Pyramid is made up of 2.3 million massive stones.

But apparently it only took five years to build.

Five years, indeed, Rattus.

Hannah, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Egyptian Gods.

Egyptian Gods.

Here's what I want to know...

What do you think - A, B or C?

Let's see your answers now, please.

HE LAUGHS Complete agreement!

Let's see if you're right.

Well, I can tell you the answer is...

Yes, you were absolutely right.

The scores at the end of that question

are two points to Daisy, one point each to Noah and Hannah.

There's one question left in this round,

so you're all still very much in it.

And your topic is pharaohs.

We pharaohs ruled Egypt for thousands of years.

But what did the word pharaoh mean?

Was it A - great face,

B - great chariot

or C - great house?

Was it A - great face, B - great chariot, or C - great house?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Hannah and Noah going for B.

Daisy out on her own again on A.

The answer is C.

Pharaoh means great house.

The pharaoh's mortal body was thought to be a house

for his divine soul.

So, no points scored there,

which means, at the end of that round,

Daisy, you've won your first Year Sphere.

So, Daisy, you're obviously through to play the Egyptian Game,

but will it be an all play or a single play affair?

Let's find out.

It's an All Play Brainy Game,

which means that all of you are heading off down the Time Sewer.

To make sure no-one forgot them after their deaths,

pharaohs were buried in huge stone tombs.

It's time to play...

Your challenge - to build up a pyramid.

Work out which block goes where and finish it first

to win the Year Sphere.

To help you, we've already put one block in place.

The Egyptians took about five years to build their pyramids.

But if you could be a bit quicker than that,

the programme on after us would be most grateful.

Ready, steady, get building.

HORN HONKS

So, here we go, then, with the Pyramid Game once again.

And it's a lovely start from Hannah.

That looks like a sizeable piece and it probably will fit

-on the base there.

-Certainly a confident start from her,

-though, Daisy, too, making a very confident start.

-Yeah.

-It's good to see.

-Noah seems to be kind of having a little rifle

through all his pieces,

just having a look at exactly what he's got,

which is methodical and very clever, I think.

Ever built yourself a pyramid, Rattus, a tiny one?

No, but I did build a small Eiffel Tower

out of sugar cubes once.

Excellent, well, that's much about the same thing.

Noah has now had a look at every piece of his puzzle, I think.

Meanwhile, look at this,

Hannah has completed the ground floor of hers already.

-What an excellent start that is, Rattus.

-Excellent start.

Once you've got the ground floor in,

that's pretty much the start of it, Dave.

and things will move on swiftly from that, I would imagine.

You'd have to hope so, certainly...

Ooh! And Daisy nearly came a bit of a cropper there.

That big unwieldy piece almost overbalanced her completely.

Now, I don't want to worry you, Rattus,

but I've got a feeling that Noah is building on the flat,

several feet from where it's supposed to go.

So, that basically means he can't possibly win

because to win the game, you have to build the pyramid using all levels,

including that base one.

Still, he doesn't know that,

so we can enjoy his efforts, nonetheless.

Daisy, meanwhile, has completed her ground level

and is starting on the next floor.

Very impressive.

But not as impressive as Hannah.

Look at this! Very nice.

Very nice construction technique.

It's important, of course, to remember, Rattus,

that these pyramids aren't one-to-one scale, are they?

They're not one-to-one scale, Dave, no,

because that would mean that Egypt was the size of Birmingham.

Which it isn't, of course,

everyone in Birmingham at the moment shouting,

"Don't be ridiculous!"

There's plucky Noah carrying on.

Pyramid in the wrong place, of course.

Daisy looking quite good over there in the yellow, isn't she, Rattus?

She's ploughing along there, Daisy.

She's doing more than ploughing along.

She's only got three pieces left.

She's going to win this, I think.

There goes one of them.

There goes another.

She's completed it all but the tip.

Just the final piece going on now.

-It's pyramid time.

-Yeah!

It's pyramid time!

As she dances next to the pyramid that she has constructed.

Well done, everybody, out you come.

Out of that Time Sewer.

Oh, it's a tricky one to get out of.

Daisy, help yourself to a Year Sphere.

Well played.

Noah, we GIVE you the first bit, that's your base.

I didn't realise that that was the first bit.

I'm sorry about that! And how was it for you, Daisy? It looked good.

I kind of imagined the whole pyramid in my head

and it sort of came to me.

It was very impressive. Very well done.

The Great Pyramid of Giza was finished around 2560 BC - roughly -

and was the tallest man-made structure in the world

until 1311, when Lincoln Cathedral was finished.

Moving on, it's over to the Gory Grid

to find out what's up next.

Arr!

The Putrid Pirates it be.

A-ha-arr!

Four questions again, then,

and here are your all-important piratey topics.

Daisy, it's your turn to lead off. What do you fancy?

Erm... Superstitions.

Superstitions.

True or false?

Us pirates, we're very superstitious.

To bring good luck before a voyage, we'd throw a black cat overboard.

Ooh, I love this question.

Let's see your answers now, please.

The girls agreeing on false.

Noah, on his own, with true.

What's the answer?

It's false.

If you throw a black cat overboard, a storm will follow

-and the ship will be crushed.

-RATTUS LAUGHS

But the rats onboard will throw a huge party!

Yes, understandably.

Hannah, your turn to pick a topic.

-Prisoners.

-Prisoners.

That is a question from Rattus Rattus.

Pirate prisoners held below decks

could be offered food made out of grubs, beetles or cockroaches.

Is this true or false?

Could that possibly be true?

Let's see your answers now, please.

You've all gone for true.

Rattus, are they all right or all wrong?

Well, of course they're all right!

It's true.

They were fed grubs, beetles and cockroaches.

Lucky them. That's what you serve in a rat five-star restaurant.

Delish!

OK, Noah, your turn to choose a topic.

What'll it be?

-Tricks.

-Tricks.

True or false?

In 1720, pirate Anne Bonny and her crew

fooled a ship into coming up close so they could attack it

by all pretending to be dead.

Rattus is giving you an example of how that might have looked.

-Lovely reconstruction, Rattus.

-Thank you.

-Well done.

Let's see your answers now, please.

OK, well, Noah and Daisy have gone for true.

Hannah on her own with false.

It's...true!

Yeah, they covered themselves in fake blood

and waited for the sailors to climb aboard

and then, suddenly, they stood up and attacked them.

One question left in this round, then.

A look at the scores shows me that Daisy's in the lead with three.

Noah and Hannah both on two, though, so still all to play for.

The final question in this round is on Ned Lowe.

And here it is.

Be this true or be it false?

True or false, Captain Ned Lowe

once made one Spanish prisoner eat the heart of his friend?

OK. The girls agreeing on true. Noah on his own with false.

What's the answer?

It's true!

True?! That is sick and not in a good way!

No, I happen to agree with you. For once.

So, at the end of that round, Daisy with maximum points,

has won herself another Year Sphere.

So, Daisy, as quiz winner, you're through to play the Pirate Game,

but will it be just you or will the others play too?

It's an All Play Messy Game.

So, off down the Time Tour with the lot of you.

It's time to play...

This game is all about chests and keys. And where are the keys?

Well, that would be telling.

But there are some clues to help you find them.

The first person to retrieve the treasure map

from inside their colour-coded chest will win the Year Sphere,

but be warned, it may not be as easy as it seems.

In three, two, one. HOOTER SOUNDS

So, here we go then with Pirate Treasure.

That's good, they're all reading the first clue.

And I can't emphasise enough how important reading the clues is

because by reading the clues, you find out where the keys are hidden.

For example, why not try a pirate coat?

The first green key's in there. Look in some rotten fruit.

The first brown key will be in some rotten fruit.

Hang on a second though. Yes, look at that.

He's in the wrong bucket there. That is a green bucket.

Noah, you are wearing brown.

Well, now, this is trouble. And this is trouble

because Noah will not be able to unlock his box and Hannah

will have a key missing when she comes to open one of hers later on.

So that means that Daisy is surely in a good position here.

Noah, you can wrestle with that all you like, fella,

it's not going to go in there and Hannah, well,

she's doing well now, but she's got trouble later on

because a key in the future is missing for her.

Daisy, she may have a gunky hand, but she's in good shape.

There we go. Hannah off for her second key. That one, she will find.

That's OK. It's the rotten fruit one she's going to struggle with.

And she's found it. Well played indeed.

Which bird says "pieces of eight"?

So Daisy needs to find a parrot.

Oh, there we are. She's got her second key from the parrot's beak.

And there is the third chest. That's the third chest.

Unfortunately, Noah has got the key. But he's put it back!

And she's just walked straight up the barrel and taken it!

She's stolen a real march on Daisy and if she can just get this open,

Daisy's got the final chest out there.

-But all Hannah needs to do is unlock it and there it is!

-She's there!

She holds the map aloft in her gunky fist!

And she has found the treasure.

Well played, everybody. Hannah, go and get yourself a Year Sphere.

Well done. Your first one.

-Marvellous. Relief or joy?

-Joy.

-Joy. Excellent. Good stuff.

And Noah, you actually had Hannah's key for quite a long time,

-didn't you?

-Yeah.

I tell you what, it was very good of you to put it back though.

You should be thanking Noah. He did you a favour there.

OK, time for the final round.

Over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out what we've got.

It's the Terrible Tudors.

Well, no quirky quiz in our final round.

It's straight to our big All Play Tudor End Game.

So, everyone, get back down that Time Tour.

Now, you probably wouldn't describe King Henry VIII as skinny.

-Quite right. I prefer the term "slim and athletic" myself.

-Yes.

Well, that's your business.

-The truth be told, he liked the odd pie.

-Divorced, beheaded and pied.

Ha-ha! Yeah.

Right then. It's time to play...

Your job is to collect pies and fling them

into the King's mouth, a simple sounding task, made a little

trickier by the fact that we've attached you all to bungee ropes.

The person who gets the most pies in their Henry's mouth

in the time limit wins the Year Sphere.

Three, two, one, it's pie time! HOOTER SOUNDS

So, here we go. Who Ate All The Pies?

They approach the Henrys. Oh, Noah scores with his first pie!

And, oh, dear, Daisy was over

before she'd released the pie!

And that's his second one in a row.

-Beautiful.

-Two in a row.

Yes, he's doing extremely well, unlike the girls, unfortunately.

He has mastered this already.

I think Noah is looking very, very good

for this title.

Daisy seems to be spending most of her time on the floor.

There she goes again.

The pie man working very hard again. Nice to see.

He really is a professional pie man, this man.

Lovely clothes. Terrific pies, of course.

Noah's got four now, everyone. Extraordinary performance.

There he goes again!

And Noah just keeps on

filling his Henry's face.

Look at the determination. Oh, he shouted something there at Henry.

A bit of verbals from Noah.

He's big, he's round, he gets to wear a crown!

He's Henry! Henry!

Mm-hm. Sorry.

And here comes Noah. He's charging back.

He can't get back to that pie man

quick enough, can he?

And looking at the scoreboard there,

it seems that Hannah has actually scored her first pie.

Well, when did that happen?

Hopefully not while we were chanting rather rudely at Henry there.

If that is the case, I do apologise for that.

And apologies to Hannah there.

But she has got off the mark, so that is good news.

-BELL CHIMES

-30 seconds remaining.

Oh, that one went slightly wide there.

Daisy hasn't actually troubled the scorers yet.

Her Henry is going to be absolutely starving by the end of this,

you have to say.

It's all looking a little bit desperate from Hannah as well,

on the end there. But it's all looking superb for Noah.

Look at that, Frisbee action straight through. Eight points.

She was unlucky there,

but look at Hannah. She's tired. She's tiring.

And that underarm technique with the slight round-arm style,

it's not really going to get anywhere.

-BUZZER

-Time's up.

-And it's all over.

The contestants sink to the floor

in absolute exhaustion.

And I can tell you that Noah has won it by a country mile.

# Horrible Histories Gory Games! #

Welcome back. Very well done.

-You're out. Third place, with, sadly, no pies, was Daisy.

-Yeah.

-How did you find it, Daisy?

-Tiring and exhausting.

Tiring and exhausting! In second place, with one pie, was Hannah.

-How did you find it, Hannah?

-Hard!

DAVE LAUGHS Yes! And you seem a little

out of breath, still! And first, with eight pies, is Noah.

Help yourself to a Year Sphere, Noah.

Lovely. Which one's giving off the best vibes?

Lovely. There we go.

So, time to count up those Year Spheres, then,

and remember, AD years are added and BC years are subtracted

from your final total.

Hannah, what's in that Year Sphere of yours?

1588 AD. The Spanish Armada destroyed. That's excellent.

Noah, that's what you've got to beat. Let's see your first Sphere.

1851 AD. The Great Exhibition was held in London that year.

1305 AD! The execution of William Wallace.

You're in the lead. The third one is crucial.

Let's have a look at it.

Oh, it's 150,000 BC!

Neanderthals started making art round about then.

But that's no consolation at all, is it?

You've ended up with a massively low score of -146,844!

Oh, that's history, though. It's sometimes horrible.

Daisy, let's have a look at your Sphere.

405 BC. It's bad, but it's not disastrous.

It's also the year that the Spartans beat

the Athenians in the Peloponnesian War that year.

Let's see your second Sphere.

1805 AD. The Battle of Trafalgar. It all hinges on this Sphere.

Let's have a look at it.

It's 79 AD! The Coliseum opened in Rome.

It's 1,479.

That makes it incredibly close but not quite close enough.

So, today's winner, with 1,588 points, is Hannah,

who goes home with our star prize.

And if this is our star prize,

I dread to think what our normal prizes would be like,

because it's something Rattus has fished out of the

Time Sewers, I'm afraid, probably Victorian toilet paper or something.

-No, it is not toilet paper!

-Oh, thank heavens for that.

-Because Vikings didn't have toilet paper.

-Oh.

No, it's some moss, used by Vikings for toilet paper.

Are you telling me that this has actually been used

-to wipe a Viking's bottom?

-Give it a sniff!

-Oh, that's a yes, I'm afraid to say.

-Con-rat-ulations, Hannah!

Yep, there you go, Hannah. Well done.

You might want to handle it with gloves. And try not to smell it.

Well, it just remains for me to say thanks to our winner, Hannah,

thanks to our gallant runners-up, Noah and Daisy,

-and no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

-Yeah, don't mention it.

I won't. You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.

So, did you know all the answers?

Then prove it!

Next time, why not play along by downloading the Gory Games app

from the CBBC website?

-# Keep watching

-We'll be back again

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