Episode 4 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# Better turn off This show ain't for you

# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# ..Games! #

Hello and welcome to Gory Games with me, Dave Lamb...

And me, Rattus Rattus.

This is the show where you get to test your knowledge of

horrible histories with some of the messiest games known to man.

But not to rat, oh, no.

In fact, the messiest game I know is my local log flume ride.

-Ha-ha-ha ha!

-Yeah, well, log flume rides are usually wet

but not usually that messy.

Not our rat log flume ride, which is from the toilet at the top

of a tower block. You stand on the seat,

jump up to pull the flush, then leap down the bowl!

Whoopie! Ooohh...

All the way down to the main sewer. Splashdown! Ha-ha!

Now that's messy, I can tell you.

HE SPITS

-Let's meet today's Horrible Historians!

-Hey, I'm Sonnyboy.

Hello, my name's Carrera.

Hi, I'm Aaron.

And you can play along at home too using the Gory Games app.

Go to the CBBC website to get it.

Lovely. Welcome, all of you.

-Dave?

-Yes?

-Dave?

-What?

-Dave?

-What?!

-Dave!

-WHAT?!

-I thought we could play a classic playground game.

-Oh?

-With a Middle Ages twist.

-Oh.

-I'm sure everybody's heard of Hopscotch.

Well, we're going to play it as though it were in a genuine

Middle Ages street.

All our contestants have to do is avoid the animal guts,

horse droppings and human droppings... Ha-ha-ha!

in a game I'm calling "Plopscotch." Ha-ha-ha!

And just to make it really tricky,

-let's make it night-time.

-Oh, great(!)

-Right then, get hopping in three, two...

-No!

No, no way. And don't worry, you won't have to do that.

Ooh, mind the...

-CONTESTANTS LAUGH

-Too late.

Right, Sonnyboy, Carrera, Aaron, you are playing to win Year Spheres.

Each Year Sphere contains a historical date and at the end of

the show your Year Sphere dates will be added up with AD dates being

added to your total and BC dates being subtracted from it.

-So, if these were your Year Spheres, your total would be, Rattus?

-734.

That's actually really close. Do you want to try again?

-13?

-OK, I give up.

It's 735 and, at the end of the show, the person with the highest

year score will win a unique historical prize.

Ooh, that's right. It's something I've picked out myself

and to say it's amazing would be an understatement.

-To say it's amazing would be a lie, wouldn't it?

-Oi!

Right, let's get cracking.

And to find out who this round's about, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Terrible Tudors.

Four questions, then, on the Terrible Tudors.

The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

And your four Tudor Topics are...

Sonnyboy, it's your turn to pick first in this round.

What do you fancy?

-Erm... Witches.

-Witches.

Hope you're feeling brainy.

Here's my question...

Let's see those answers now, please.

OK, the boys agreeing on A.

Carrera thinks B. Let's find out.

Hope you got it right!

The answer is...

It's horrible but it's true.

So no points, actually, in that first question.

Carrera, it's your turn to choose a topic. What do you fancy?

-Mean Queens.

-Mean Queens.

My daughter, Queen Mary, was a Catholic and married the

King of Spain. He didn't like her much and went home to Spain.

But what did she send him to try and encourage him to come back?

Let's see your answers now, please. There we go.

Well, Aaron's gone for A. Carrera's gone for A.

Sonnyboy on his own with C. Let's see what the answer is.

The answer is...

To encourage him to come back, she sent him pies. Well, would have

-worked with me. Ha-ha!

-Probably would've worked on me, to be honest.

RATTUS LAUGHS

Getting a bit peckish, actually.

So, Sonnyboy, well done. You're in the lead with one point.

-And, Aaron, it's your turn to pick a topic.

-I'll pick Superstitions.

-Superstitions.

-What did we Tudors do to predict our future luck?

A - jump over a moss-covered rock, B - jump over a lit candle,

or C - jump over a sleeping cat?

Oh, I know the answer. I know the answer!

Let's see those answers now, please.

OK, everybody going for B.

Are they all right or all wrong?

The answer's B - jump over a lit candle. If the candle went out,

it was bad luck. A little bit like marrying me.

HE CACKLES

Laugh, or I will chop your head off.

AWKWARD LAUGHTER

OK, one question left in this round.

Sonnyboy in the lead with two, the others on one,

but everyone can still win this round.

The final question is on laws and it is a prop question.

Prop question! Prop question!

That is a prop and it's a woolly hat.

Queen Elizabeth passed a law about woolly hats, but what was it?

Was it A - that all woolly hats were banned?

Was it B - everyone had to wear a woolly hat on Sundays?

Or was it C - that all bald men had to wear woolly hats?

What do you think, is that A, B or C?

Let's see your answer is now, please.

Interesting. Carrera and Aaron

agreeing on B.

Sonnyboy on his own with C.

The answer is, in fact, B.

Everyone had to wear a woolly hat on Sundays.

It was to boost sales in the English wool trade.

And to make everyone look more than a bit stupid.

That was, sadly, a by-product of it.

OK, well, that's the end of the round.

And look at that, we have a complete tie. Everyone has two points,

so we are going to a tie-breaker buzzer question.

Fingers on those buzzers, please.

Beginning with the letter E,

what is the name of King Henry VIII's daughter,

who reigned for 44 years?

FART BUZZER NOISE Carrera?

-Elizabeth?

-Elizabeth is absolutely right. Well done, Carrera,

you have won the first Year Sphere!

Yay!

Yay! Time to choose your Year Sphere from our Trolley Wally.

Oh, push, push, push, push, push...

PUSH!

There you go, come on, Carrera, any one you like.

But be warned, one of those spheres may contain a Stone Age date,

-which could be worth a few million minus points.

-That one?

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

-OK.

Push, push, push, push, push, push... BYE!

Winning the quiz means that Carrera is automatically through to play

the Tudors game, but will she be alone or will everyone get to play?

Let's find out.

It's an All Play Brainy Game,

so that means it's off down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

Lead them on!

Queen Elizabeth's portrait artists knew that to keep their heads

they had to keep the Queen happy, which meant making her look far

more glamorous in her portraits than she really was.

In fact, they had to copy portraits of her from her younger days.

It's time to play...

Your challenge is to assemble two perfect

copies of an Elizabeth portrait.

The only problem is your two puzzles

are made out of differently shaped pieces.

Complete your puzzles quicker than

the other Horrible Historians to win the Year Sphere.

In three, two, one... CLAXON SOUNDS

So, here we go, then, with puzzling portraits and let's hope that,

at the end of this, we don't find that one of the pieces is missing.

Oh, Aaron having a look at the main portrait there.

Well, that seems to me to be a very, very good plan indeed.

I'm surprised, Dave, that they don't glance around more

often to see what the finished puzzle should look like.

And Sonnyboy, look how well he's doing already!

-This is extraordinary.

-He's doing two at once, Dave.

This is an excellent piece of tactic, I think.

This is the strategy you need.

He's doing this like a machine.

I've never seen it done this fast, Rattus.

It's extraordinary. Look at him,

he's nearly finished over there.

And they say men can't multitask,

well, that's utter rubbish, isn't it?

That is proved to be utter, utter rubbish today.

He's got one piece left!

Oh, he's done it!

That is extraordinary!

He may well bounce up and down

because he has just done two

puzzles extremely quickly, let's just leave it at that.

Welcome back, everybody! Sonnyboy, pick up your first Year Sphere.

Well played.

That was excellent puzzle work. It was really impressive.

Very good. You did both at once.

-You thought that would be the best tactic, did you?

-Yeah.

-Aaron, did you find that difficult? Easy?

-It was pretty difficult.

-Were you just concentrating on one?

-Concentrating on one because I

-forgot about the other one.

-Oh, did you?

-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

It's easily done. Easily done. How did you find that, Carrera?

Hard because you had to work out if pieces fit, like,

-and it was really complicated.

-Yeah.

You know, that portrait shows just one of the 3,000 dresses

Elizabeth I is believed to have owned.

But I'm willing to bet she still used to say,

"I can't possibly go out tonight. I've got nothing to wear"

RATTUS LAUGHS

-Hang about. Isn't that a bit rude to women, Dave?

-You are so right.

Sorry! Moving swiftly on, on to Round Two, in fact.

And to find out who's up next, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Gorgeous Georgians.

Four questions again. Here are your all-important Georgian topics.

So, Carrera, it's your turn to pick first in this round.

-Police?

-Police.

1749 saw the first organised police force in London,

but what were they known as?

A - the Bow Street Bobbies?

B - the Bow Street Runners?

Or C - the Bow Street Terries?

Let's see those answers now, please.

OK, the boys agreeing on B.

Carrera on her own with A. What's the answer?

The answer is B, the Bow Street Runners. Ha-ha!

So, the boys there both scoring their first points of the round.

-Aaron, your turn to pick a topic.

-I'll pick Gloves.

-Gloves it is.

Oh, this is exciting. The question is...

Let's see your answers now, please.

OK, Sonnyboy and Carrera agreeing on B. Aaron on his own with A.

-What's the answer?

-I can tell you, the answer is...

They were given 192 pairs of gloves a year. Yes, that's right.

No-one got that one right, I'm afraid,

so the scores remain, Sonnyboy - one, Aaron - one,

and Carrera yet to score.

Two questions left in this round, though, so no need to panic.

-Sonnyboy, it's your turn to pick a topic.

-Um... Fans.

-Fans!

That is a prop question.

And here is a fan, as you can see.

Georgian ladies used fan fluttering as a sort of messaging system,

but what did THIS gesture mean?

Was it A - I am tired? Was it B - I am sorry?

Or was it C - I need the toilet?

-CONTESTANTS LAUGH

-Oooh...

Yeah, all right, Rattus.

Let's see your answers now, please.

OK, Carrera and Aaron agreeing on C.

Sonnyboy with B.

The answer is...

I am so sorry, it's B.

And so you should be.

Well done, Sonnyboy.

Excellent stuff. OK, one more question left in this round.

Sonnyboy, if you were to get it right,

you'd have won yourself another Year Sphere.

The one remaining question in this round is on Nelson and here it is.

How was Lord Nelson's body brought home

after his death at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805?

A - in an ornamental coffin?

B - in a casket of tea?

Or C - in a barrel of brandy?

You won't believe the answer to this one. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Let's see your answers now, please.

OK, Sonnyboy with A, Carrera

and Aaron agreeing again on B.

The answer is C,

in a barrel of brandy, so his body wouldn't rot too quickly.

So, nobody got that one right.

OK, that's it. That's the end of that round.

And it means that, Sonnyboy,

you have won yourself another Year Sphere.

Collect it, please.

So, Sonnyboy, as quiz winner,

you're also through to play the Georgian Game.

But will you be playing alone or will everyone get to play?

Let's find out.

It's an All Play Silly Game. Ha-ha!

So, off down Time Sewer with the lot of you.

Ho, ho, headfirst. Feet first. Headfirst.

THEY COUGH

In Georgian times, anyone who was anyone wore a wig

and your wig was home to more bugs than the average rat.

-I'll take that as a compliment.

-Do what you like.

It's time to play...

Loads of fleas and lice will be flinging

themselves from a giant Georgian wig.

You have to catch as many bugs in your wig as possible.

The player who catches the most wins the Year Sphere.

Let the flea fling begin.

CLAXON SOUNDS

So, here we go then with a flea fling

and there's a lot of fleas out, but none so far on the wigs.

Oh, it's so wrong it's right.

I have to agree with you there, Rattus, but still no-one's scored.

Oh, there's the first flea,

landed by Aaron, who literally nearly threw himself off as feet.

Look at that! He's getting... He's actually over!

-Oh! Ha-ha!

-He's over! He threw his head at that.

If he could have taken his head off and thrown it, literally,

-he would have done so.

-I think he would, Dave.

Who's going to win this? It's anybody's guess.

And you can guess by playing along at home using the Gory Games app.

Oh, flea on the knee.

I think you have to catch them on your wig,

-so that flea is not scoring.

-That's another one for Sonnyboy.

Holding on to his wig there to support it.

Carrera's doing the same. CLOCK STRIKES

30 seconds remaining.

Look at Aaron, he's just freestyling.

He is throwing himself into this

game with extraordinary vigour

and his peripheral vision is being

obscured there by a flea.

It really is extraordinary how many

fleas are in this wig.

I mean, I know it's not life-size, the wig, neither are the fleas...

-CLAXON SOUNDS

-Stop there!

I think it's all over and, for me,

Aaron has won that, but only just.

Welcome back, everyone. Back behind those podiums.

Help yourself to a Year Sphere!

You know, I find my lice are so hard to count.

By the time you've counted them, their eggs have all hatched

and you've got to start all over again!

And it's really hard to count the ones on your bottom!

Oh, dear. On with the show.

And to find out who's up next, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day!

Here are your four Victorian topics.

Aaron, it's your turn to lead off this time. What's it going to be?

-Um... London.

-London.

That is a question from my colleague, Rattus Rattus.

Ooh, colleague, thank you. Bit lower, please. Thank you.

True or false?

In the summer of 1858, the River Thames turned pink.

Mm. Interesting. And very straightforward.

Is that true or is that false? Let's see those answers now, please.

So you've all agreed on false. Are they all right or all wrong, Rattus?

You're all... right! It's false.

The River Thames turned brown

because all of London's sewage used to go straight into the Thames,

so it stank of poo! Ha! For some reason, people didn't like it.

I don't understand that myself.

-OK, Sonnyboy, your turn to pick a topic.

-Gadgets.

-Gadgets.

That is a prop question!

And there is the prop. True or false?

This is a genuine Victorian

contraption for gentlemen to keep their moustache clean whilst eating.

Here's a clue - it's either true or false.

Let's see your answers now, please.

OK, unanimous agreement again on true

and I can tell you that it is true!

Absolutely true.

-Well done, everyone.

-I love food getting stuck on my facial hair.

Leave it to rot there for a few more days and it's even tastier. Ha-ha!

-Yes. Carrera, it's your turn to pick a topic.

-Factories.

-Factories.

True or false? In Victorian factories, no singing was allowed.

So, true or false? In Victorian factories, no singing was allowed.

Let's see your answers now, please.

OK, well, we are in total agreement once again.

Everybody going for true.

-Are they all right or all wrong?

-It's true. No singing was allowed.

Far too much fun.

Not that you could hear it above the din of the machines, anyway.

They were very loud.

-Can anyone else hear that ringing?

-No, no. Just you.

So, it's three points each. It's a maximum score for the round so far.

That is extraordinary. We have one question left -

-that question is on doors.

-True or false?

Some poor Victorians stole front doors from houses

-so they could sleep on them.

-OK, true or false?

Some poor Victorians stole front doors from houses

so that they could sleep on them.

And they are totally agreeing again with false. This is extraordinary.

They've agreed on everything in this round. Are they all right this time?

It's true.

Poor people living in slums slept on the doors rather than the cold,

damp ground. I slept on one last night - it's dead uncomfortable.

Probably should've taken that doorknob off first.

Maybe filled in the letterbox as well.

RATTUS LAUGHS

OK, well, that means that we have a three-way tie again at the end

of that round and that means that we have a buzzer question.

Fingers on buzzers.

Beginning with the letter A,

what was the name of Queen Victoria's husband? Prince...

-SCARY VOICE BUZZER Sonnyboy?

-Is it Arthur?

Oh, you're very close. Unlucky, unlucky, Sonnyboy. It isn't Arthur.

FART BUZZER

-Carrera?

-Albert?

Albert is absolutely right! Well done, Carrera.

You've won yourself another Year Sphere.

OK, Carrera, you're through to play the Victorian game,

but will it be All Play, or will it be Single Play? Let's find out.

It's a Single Player Brainy Game!

So, get yourself down that Time Sewer.

Isambard Kingdom Brunel was a

brilliant engineer, a visionary designer

and a lousy children's entertainer.

While showing off magic tricks to his kids one day,

he accidentally got a large coin lodged in his throat

and he eventually managed to dislodge the coin using

a clever device.

It's time to play...

Your challenge is to work out which cog goes where.

Once they're all in the right place, you can turn the wheel and flip

Brunel upside down to dislodge the coin and win yourself a Year Sphere.

But be quick! You're against the clock, which is starting to tick.

Now! CLAXON SOUNDS

So, here goes Carrera attempting Barmy Brunel.

Well, that's not going to work.

I can't believe it, she's left it there, but clearly that is

not in contact with the driving cog and neither's that one.

All cogs standing completely

isolated from each other at the moment, Rattus.

That's not going to get Barmy Brunel tipped up, is it?

Dave, I have to say, if Carrera does manage to do this,

can I keep the coin?

I'll put it up for auction on the rat auction site Flea-Bay! Ha-ha!

Flea-bay! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Yeah, all right.

Here goes a piece that's finally fitting. That's lovely.

She's got one that actually tessellates with

one of the other shapes, which is very, very nice.

Now, this isn't going to work in my book.

Dave, could you please give the viewers and me

a definition of the word "tessellate"?

Shapes that fit together nicely, Rattus, would do for you, I think.

Doesn't even work!

-Don't think that works.

-I think you're absolutely right, Carrera.

Well done and well done for replacing it.

Now, this looks interesting.

Is that going to fit in with the driving cog? Yes, it is!

-Yes, it's there!

-She's learning and you've got

to admire that in Carrera. She is learning as she goes on.

That bit is still floating independently from the others.

That's nice, that's nice! That bit of the mechanism...!

-Oh, she's taken it off! She's taken it off!

-Oh, but she's taken it away!

Oh, dear, Oh, dear! Well, I'm not sure that's

-going to work quite as well! SCARY VOICE:

-30 seconds remaining!

CLOCK STRIKES We've only got 30 seconds left

and she's taken off bits that were in the right place!

-Oh, let's hope she doesn't take that first...

-OH!

-Oh, no!

-She's taken it off!

-She's having a bit of a panic here. Oh!

That's the other one that was fit in!

She's taken off all the bits that were in the right place!

Oh, she's going to be kicking herself when she sees this back!

Poor old Barmy Brunel lying there with a coin lodged in his throat.

He might want to ask someone to give him the Heimlich manoeuvre

because he's not going to get the coin out this way,

I can tell you that for nothing, Rattus.

She's desperately now just trying... BUZZER SOUNDS

..everything and she's run out of time. Well, bad luck, Carrera.

It wasn't to be this time.

Oh, she's out! That was extraordinary. Well done.

You were keen to get back. Bad luck, Carrera, bad luck.

What happened there?

You had to make sure that one of them fit into the big one,

and it was really hard and it didn't turn round properly.

At one point you had two of them in exactly the right position,

but you just didn't quite finish it off. So no Year Sphere, I'm afraid.

Time for the final round.

Over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out what we've got.

-It's the Rotten Romans!

-There's no Quirky Quiz in this final round -

it's straight to our big All Play Roman Endgame!

So, everyone, get down that Time Sewer!

CONTESTANTS CHEER

Roman emperor Vitellius was mostly

famous for eating like an absolute pig.

In fact, he liked four feasts a day. He even invented his own dish -

a pie made out of the brains of pheasants

and the tongues of flamingos.

It's time to play...

Horrible Historians, your challenge is simple - to stuff Vitellius' gob.

Collect the pies and fling them into his mouth.

The person who gets the most pies in their Vitellius' gob

within the time limit wins the Year Sphere. But be warned,

halfway through, a servant is going to spill a cauldron of garum

sauce made out of rotten fish guts.

-Yum!

-You would say that.

So things might get a bit slippy. Ready? Steady? Fling those pies!

CLAXON SOUNDS

So, here we go then with Foul Feasts.

They have to fling pies, fish and grapes into the open mouth

and two have gone in already.

Well, what a start that was.

There's a fish, thrown like a dart! It's in! Tremendous effort!

Tremendous effort!

Emperor Vitellius' catering supervisor Keithus Maximus working

overtime at the end there. He really is a terrific catering

supervisor, Keithus Maximus. We're very lucky to have him.

He's one of the finest Roman catering supervisors working today!

Look at that pie thrown by Sonnyboy!

He's in the lead but that one fell short. Now grapes! More grapes!

Oh, there's a...grapes going in there! Lovely shot from Aaron!

Oh, what a fling that was from

Sonnyboy! A tremendous fling!

There's a flat fish! Not so lucky there from Carrera.

How will Sonnyboy do with his flat fish?

Oh, winged him on the side of the mouth! That must have smarted!

Oh, lovely! Aaron draws level with Sonnyboy! Three apiece!

There's a big bunch of grapes for both of them.

Everyone going with grapes!

It's grape afternoon, all afternoon, here at the Foul Feast.

It's a good job Keithus Maximus' dad owns a vineyard!

CLOCK STRIKES

Maximus Maximus, big in grapes, big in life! That's not relevant now!

Oh! There's the garum sauce! There's the garum sauce!

And I have to say, it is going to get much,

much more slippery out there now! Someone's looking at a wipe-out!

Let's see who's going to slip in the

-garum sauce first.

-It's Sonnyboy!

Sonnyboy's been down! Yeah,

you're absolutely right, Rattus!

There he goes again! Disappearing from view almost completely!

Sonnyboy's hit the deck a few times

there. Oh, they're all at it now!

-CLAXON SOUNDS SCARY VOICE:

-Time's up!

It's all over here!

Sonnyboy and Aaron have tied it and Keithus Maximus is absolutely

furious because he's got to clear it up!

Welcome back. You've got yourself cleaned up, I'm glad to see. Lovely.

Well, that was very exciting. With three each for Sonnyboy and Aaron.

So, Sonnyboy, if you'd like to pick another Year Sphere first.

There we go. And, Aaron, if you'd like to pick one too.

That is all the Year Spheres awarded.

Did you know? When Emperor Vitellius was

so full at a feast that he couldn't eat any more,

he would tickle his throat with a feather so he'd be sick

and could start eating all over again.

I made myself sick with a long feather once. Yeah.

-It was still attached to the chicken I was chasing.

-Yes.

It's time to add up your Year Sphere totals.

Sonnyboy, let's start with you. Open up your first one for me, please.

There we go, 1086 AD. That's the Doomsday Book, written that year.

There goes the second one. 1815 AD, the Battle of Waterloo.

64 AD,

that was the year that Rome burnt down,

but what that does mean is that you've avoided the BC totals

and you've ended up with

a score of 2,965,

which is excellent.

Carrera, can you match that?

Let's have a look at your first one.

Oh, dear me! 2532 BC.

The great Egyptian Sphinx was finished about that time.

Let's have a look at the second one.

-Oh, dear. 2.5 million BC.

-Oh...

-Oh, no!

Stone age man started to use tools around about then.

Carrera, that gives you

a total of minus 2,502,532

Oh, dear me. Right, Aaron, let's see if you can win this.

What have you got in your first sphere?

Oh, dear! 8,000 BC. Woolly mammoths

died out about that time,

as did your chances of winning, I'm afraid.

Let's have a look at your second one.

Oh, it's 1042 AD.

Edward the Confessor became King of England, but it's not enough!

Aaron, that gives you a total of minus 6,958.

Today's champion, with a score of

-2,965 points, is Sonnyboy!

-Yay!

-Yay!

Who will be taking home our star prize

and there really is nothing like a proper trophy,

and this is nothing like a proper trophy.

Because, once again,

it's some historical tat chosen by my furry friend here.

-What is it, Rattus?

-Are you a First World War soldier?

-No.

-Getting cold in the freezing trenches this winter?

-No.

-Then what you need is a nice tub of whale fat!

-Nooo...!

Soldiers used to have to rub it all over their bodies for insulation.

-Ha-ha! Congratulations, Sonnyboy!

-Sonnyboy, I'm so sorry.

-There you go. Well done.

-Thank you.

I'm sorry it's so...well, whaley.

It just remains for me to say thanks to Sonnyboy, Carrera

-and Aaron and no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

-Any time.

You've been watching Gory Games! Goodbye.

Next time, why not play along by downloading the Gory Games

app from the CBBC website?

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