Episode 5 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# Better turn off This show ain't for you

-# Still watching?

-Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# ..Games! #

Hello, and welcome to Gory Games, with me, Dave Lamb.

And me, Rattus Rattus.

And I'd just like to extend a very special welcome

to all of Dave's fans.

Oh, that's very sweet of you!

Or, to put it another way...

Hello, Dave's mum!

Hilarious. Welcome, then, to the goriest game show you will ever see.

Let's meet today's Horrible Historians!

Hi, I'm Molly.

Hi, I'm Georgie.

Hi, I'm Josh.

And you can play along at home, too,

using the brilliant Gory Games app.

If you haven't got it yet, go to the CBBC website.

Right, Molly, Georgie, Josh,

you are playing to win Year Spheres.

Each Year Sphere contains a historical date

and, at the end of the show, your Year Spheres will be added up,

with AD dates being added to your total

and BC dates being subtracted from it.

So, for example, if these were your Year Spheres,

-your total would be, Rattus...?

-Ah, no! I've actually noticed

a bit of a pattern to this bit of the show.

-Oh, yes?

-Yeah.

Well, last time, the total was 735.

The time before, it was 735.

And the time before that...

it was also 735.

So, I'm going to go out on a bit of a limb here,

and say that the total is...

735...

..thousand, 321 and a half.

Pff!

At the end of the show, the person with the highest year score

will win a unique historical prize,

picked out of the Time Sewer by my glamourless assistant.

Oh, you are going to be dead impressed!

Unlikely. Right, let's get cracking.

And to find out what this round is about, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Gorgeous Georgians!

Your four Georgian topics are...

Molly, you get to pick first this round.

Which topic takes your fancy?

Beauty Products.

Beauty Products.

The question is...

What do you think? A, B or C?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Look at that! Molly and Josh agreeing with C.

Georgie out on her own with A.

The answer is...

C - ash, coal dust and candle wax.

AMERICAN ACCENT: I always use ash, coal dust and candle wax,

because I'm worth it.

I don't. I was just doing a voice.

Right, Georgie, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Can I have School, please?

School.

In 1793, the schoolboys at Winchester School did what?

A, invented a new sport,

B, rioted,

or C, pretended to be girls?

So, did they A, invent a new sport?

Did they B, riot?

Or did they C, pretend to be girls?

And you've all ended up with exactly the same answer.

You've all gone for B. Let's find out.

The answer is...

B, they rioted, they really rioted.

They even fired pistols at some of the teachers.

I'm pretty sure that's against the school rules!

I'm almost certain it is.

Josh, it's your turn to pick a topic.

I think I might go with Aristocrats.

Aristocrats.

The Duke of Chandos had his own private what?

So, the Duke of Chandos had his own private what?

Was it A, a football team,

B, an orchestra,

or C, an army?

Molly and Josh are going for C.

Georgie thinks it's B.

The answer is...B.

He had his own private orchestra, consisting of 27 musicians.

That's right, just 27!

Kind of like having an MP3 player, only less portable.

RATTUS LAUGHS, CONTESTANTS LAUGH

-True.

-Thanks.

So, the scores are all square.

Two points each and the final question this round is on Shoes.

And it's a prop question.

RATTUS SNIFFS

Ooh, cheesy!

Only the very best.

Here is your question on Shoes...

Why did sailors in the Georgian Navy not wear shoes?

Was it, A, because they could cause explosions?

Was it B, because they couldn't afford them?

Or was it C, because they wanted to show how hardy they were?

Here's a clue. It's either A, B or C.

Let's see your answers now, please.

Georgie on her own again with A.

Molly and Josh still agreeing, on C this time.

The answer is...

A!

The nails in the soles of the shoes made sparks,

which could ignite gunpowder.

You couldn't make it up.

Well, you could, but it wouldn't be as interesting.

So, Georgie, you've won the quiz.

Time to choose your first Year Sphere.

Push, push, push.

Oh, it's very heavy when it's full.

Oh, come on, Georgie.

Come on, pick your Year Sphere.

-Whichever one you want.

-But, beware, inside one is a Stone Age date,

worth a few million minus points.

Push, push, push, push! Bye!

So, winning the quiz means that Georgie

is through to play the Georgian game.

But will she be alone or will everyone get to play?

Let's find out.

It is a single-player silly game.

So, Georgie, it's off down the Time Sewer with you.

Oh, covered in poo!

It's 21st October, 1805.

Heavily outnumbered, the British Navy faced the combined might

of the French and Spanish fleets.

It's time to play...

You are a British Navy gunner.

Your mission, to load, aim and fire your cannon at the enemy ships.

You score a point for every enemy ship you shoot

and lose a point for every British ship you hit.

Score 6 points in the time limit

to win your Year Sphere.

Let the battle commence!

So, here goes Georgie with the Battle of Trafalgar, Rattus.

In goes the first ball.

Now, let's see, it's fallen short.

It didn't quite make it to the sea, did it, Rattus?

It didn't. It went straight into

the sky and off into outer space.

Yes, and I'm afraid that's the kind of thing

that can happen and will happen

if Georgie doesn't point the cannon at the ships.

She is basically not bothering

to aim here, Rattus,

which is a very, very interesting technique.

We've not seen this before.

All she is doing

is loading up the cannon and firing it.

Oh, no, wait a minute. Here we go.

She is pointing it this time.

And that was better.

A lovely day there, isn't it,

at sea in the Battle of Trafalgar?

-It is.

-A lovely blue sky.

A perfect day for sailing.

But not for these sailors,

about to get blown out of the water.

Although, maybe not, the way Georgie is going about this,

because that one almost blew up her own ship!

It nearly rolled out of the end of the cannon

and blew herself up.

A nasty sea mist rolling in, Dave.

Certainly is. I tell you what,

that seagull has never looked safer, for me.

She's not really getting the aiming right here.

And she's running out of time. You have to say,

it's not looking likely at all for Georgie.

Oh, she hit one!

-She's hit one!

-She hit one!

We could see, there, the benefits

of aiming the cannon at the ships.

She got it straight away.

That wasn't far off either.

-Time is up.

-Oh, but the penny has dropped just too late for Georgie

and I'm afraid the French and the Spanish have got away with murder.

Welcome back, Georgie. Bad luck.

What happened there? You seem to be struggling a bit.

Well, I knew I wouldn't get a very good score,

because my aim is terrible.

I can't aim to save my life.

Well, I noticed at the start, you weren't actually aiming at all.

You didn't actually sort of move...

-Exactly!

-And you got one down in the end.

-But I was still rubbish.

-Sadly, Admiral Lord Nelson,

the brains behind the British victory,

was shot by a French sniper and died at Trafalgar.

Not the first time he'd been shot.

In a previous battle, his right arm had been hit by a bullet

and it had to be hacked off with a saw.

That's nothing!

A mate of mine got caught in a trap and had to gnaw his leg off!

Like we needed to know that.

Em...

Onto Round Two.

And, to find out what is up next,

it is over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Measly Middle Ages.

And here are your all-important Middle Ages topics.

So, Georgie, it's your turn to pick first this round.

I think I will go for School, please.

School.

True or false - at schools in the Middle Ages,

you were beaten if you made spelling mistakes.

So, at school in the Middle Ages,

you were beaten if you made spelling mistakes.

Is that true or is that false?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Josh and Georgie think it's true.

Molly thinks it's false.

It's...false.

In the Middle Ages, there were no spelling corrections.

You spelled English any way you wanted to and that's a fact.

F-A-C-T-E. Facte!

Not how you spell "fact". Never mind.

Josh, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Hm... Maybe Tournaments.

Tournaments.

Is this true or false?

A massive fish.

What do you think? Is that true or could that be false?

Look out. Everyone is in complete agreement.

Three trues.

Are you all right or all wrong?

I can tell you it's...

True!

I reckon they should just do away with the World Cup trophy

and hand over a massive fish.

-What do you think?

-One of your better ideas, certainly...

But still not very good.

Molly, it's your turn to pick a topic.

-Animals, please.

-Animals.

True or false -

King Henry III built England's first zoo in the Tower of London,

home to a polar bear,

which was allowed to fish for dinner in the Thames.

So, is this true or is this false?

The girls think it's false.

Josh on his own with true.

It's...true.

The polar bear's keeper used to take it for walks on a lead!

Yes, and you need a very big plastic bag to clear up after a polar bear.

RATTUS LAUGHS

Everyone a winner when it's about poo.

He said it again!

I said it again. I'm not saying it again.

One question left in this round, then.

Josh and Molly are on two points each.

Georgie, you can still catch up with this last question

and it is about Henry II.

True or false -

Henry II of France was riding through a town

when a Cistercian monk stumbled and fell over.

His robe flew over his head and he showed the king his backside.

Unbelievable. Do you think that's true or do you think that's false?

Show me your answers now, please.

Well, everyone has gone for true.

Trues across the board.

It's true!

RATTUS LAUGHS

It's not funny!

Shtum, shtum, Rattus.

So, that is the end of the round.

Georgie, I am afraid, for now, you're history.

You already have a Sphere, so nothing to worry about.

-That's true.

-Molly and Josh,

you'll go head-to-head to decide who wins the next Year Sphere.

Fingers on your buzzers.

Beginning with the letter K,

what is the name for a warrior who fought in a suit of armour?

-AH-CHOO! Molly?

-A knight?

A knight is correct. Well done, Molly.

Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

So, Molly, as the winner of the quiz,

you are also through to play the Middle Ages game.

But will it be just you or will the others get to play, too?

It's an all-play gory game!

And you are all celebrating,

so celebrate down the Time Sewer.

Freedo...! Oh, wait.

Urgh, it stinks!

Whee!

William the Conqueror was a big old bully.

At his funeral, in 1087, his servants stole his jewels,

his body was so bloated it exploded

and the church burned down.

A fitting tribute, I think you'll agree.

It's time to play...

You are William's servants and your challenge

is to take as much of the old tyrant's treasure as possible

and put it in your chest.

All the treasure is colour-coded and you must only take your own colour.

Whoever collects the most pieces wins the Year Sphere.

But you'd better be quick, because the church is going to burn down.

Your time starts...now.

So, here we go, then, with Yuckaroo.

They've got to steal the treasure

and stick it in their own chest.

And look at the speed of them going!

This is the fastest thieving we've seen yet, Rattus.

He's so shocked, he's dumbfounded, he's not speaking.

There is some top-speed theft happening here.

You had better be quick if you want to play along at home,

using that Gory Games app.

The crown is being stolen. It's got to be

the most precious piece of treasure, hasn't it, Rattus?

Well, they all look very pleased with themselves, Dave,

but the truth of the matter is

they're not going to get any of that through customs.

No, you're absolutely right.

Oh, and Georgie there, putting a bit of green treasure in her chest.

That wouldn't count, so she's rightly removed it again. Excellent.

They've got ten pieces each to collect, of course,

so they are doing very well indeed.

Oh! One's dropped out, there.

That bounced out, Josh. That won't count for him.

And I have to say,

Molly is one of the fastest thieves I have ever seen.

Faster, even, than the pickpocket

who relieved me of my wallet on the way over here this morning.

Whoa! William the Conqueror's stomach has exploded!

William the Conqueror's stomach has gone up

and it has spattered our contestants in all manner of gory gunk.

But they don't seem that troubled by it.

They are pressing on with their task,

although I should point out, at this stage,

that tomb raiding, generally, is a bit of a no-no.

Please don't do it.

Georgie dropping in another piece of treasure there, Rattus.

She's gaining on Molly, isn't she?

-She is, Dave.

-That's a very nice piece, isn't it?

What would that would be worth at auction, Rattus?

Absolutely nothing. We got all of this junk from a pound shop.

We got it from the pound shop,

so it would be worth at least £1 at auction, I'd say.

Well, that's irrelevant, because it's been stolen.

It's been stolen by Molly and put into her chest.

I have to say, I think Molly might be on the point

of stealing every single bit of treasure available.

She gets another piece. That's her ninth piece, I think!

And the church is on fire!

And that can mean only one thing.

The end of the game is imminent.

She's only got one more piece of treasure to get for the clean sweep.

Here it comes... And there goes the hooter!

Oh, the hooter beat her to it.

She was on the point of a memorable world record.

But at least Molly has the consolation of a Year Sphere.

Welcome back, Gory Gamers.

Get back behind those podiums.

-Did you enjoy that?

-No, it was disgusting.

-Didn't you enjoy that?

-Who wants guts flying over them?

-Ooh, me, me, me, me!

-You got covered in guts?

-Did everyone get covered in guts?

-I didn't.

-You didn't? You escaped.

-I'm jealous of you!

-I think I've got a bit of his stomach on my shoulder.

That was extraordinary.

The winner, with nine pieces of treasure,

was Molly!

Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

William the Conqueror's coronation in 1066 was just as eventful.

The congregation cheered when the crown was placed on his head,

but his guards thought it was a riot,

so they attacked the crowd and set fire to the buildings.

Oh, he knew how to liven up a church service, that William.

He certainly did.

Over to the Gory Grid, then, to find out what up next.

It's the Frightful First World War.

Four questions, as always.

And here are your four World War I topics.

Josh, it's your turn to pick first this time.

-I'll go with Bombs.

-Bombs.

Your question is...

So, what was the nickname for a gas mask worn by soldiers?

Was it A, a goggle-eyed-booger,

B, a Mickey Mouse,

or C, a rat snout?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Georgie and Josh agreeing with B.

Molly out on her own with A.

What's the answer?

The answer is...

And, by sheer coincidence, goggle-eyed-booger

was my Rat School nickname.

I can well believe it.

Molly, it's your turn to choose a topic.

Erm, Trenches.

Trenches.

Which of these diseases affected soldiers in World War I?

A, trench ear,

B, trench eye,

or C, trench foot?

Which of these diseases affected soldiers in the First World War?

Was it A, trench ear,

B, trench eye,

or C, trench foot?

Let's see your answers now, please.

So, Molly and Josh agreeing on C.

Georgie thinks it's B. Let's hear the answer.

The answer is...

C, trench foot.

When your foot got cold and damp,

blisters could get infected and turn to gangrene.

The best way to avoid it was

not get sent to the trenches in the first place. Ha-ha!

Yes, that's the ideal way to avoid it, certainly.

Georgie, your turn to pick a topic.

Can I go for Food, please?

You can go for Food

and that is a prop question.

Look at those beauties!

What did French peasants do with British Army biscuits?

Was it A, feed them to their cows?

Was it B, eat them?

Or was it C, light fires with them?

So, what do you think? Is it A, B or C?

Show me your answers now, please.

Georgie and Josh going with B.

Molly on her own with C.

The correct answer is...

C. They lit fires with them.

They thought they were far too horrible to eat.

-Ooh, Dave, Dave, Dave!

-Yeah?

-Can I...? Can I...?

-Yeah.

-I'll leave them there for you.

-Thank you!

-OK.

-Ugh!

-Well, there is actually one question left in this round.

But, looking at the scores, we don't need to ask it,

because, Molly, you can't be caught.

You've won yourself another Year Sphere.

You're through to play the World War I game.

But will it be an all-play or will it be a single-play game?

Yes, it's a single-player silly game.

So, Molly, off you go down the Time Sewer.

Urgh!

Much of World War I was fought in the trenches,

which were truly frightful and full to the brim with rats.

It's time to play...

Your job, quite simply, is to splat that rat.

-Hm? Hm?

-RATTUS SPITS

What have us rats ever done to you?!

Well, two words -

the...plague.

Fair cop.

Whack 15 rats with your spade within the time limit

to win the Year Sphere.

And your time starts...now.

So, Molly about to vanquish vile vermin.

There's a little one. Missed that one.

Wow! She gave that one a thump, though!

She's making up for lost time here, Rattus.

And Rattus, I have to say,

is staring at this open-mouthed.

Rattus, she is wielding that spade

like a lunatic.

That one has a helmet, in the foreground.

I'm afraid that won't be enough protection!

She is whacking like a berserker!

Rattus, this is terrible.

You really don't want to watch this,

because she is sparing none of these rats.

She's not just trying to score points here.

She is trying to inflict damage

and, boy, is she doing that!

-Ooh!

-Oh, and now my colleague Rattus

is getting emotional. And that one...

Oh, it just slipped off the side of the helmet.

Probably poked its eye out.

Poor thing. What a way to go.

Whacked by a spade.

Well, Molly just needs one more to win this now.

It'll all be over, Rattus.

And she's done it! And Rattus has gone.

Rattus has fainted,

while Molly celebrates her fourth Year Sphere.

Welcome back, Molly. Well done.

Pick yourself a Year Sphere, why don't you?

Tell me about your technique.

I just tried to whack them really hard,

cos I don't really like rats.

LAUGHTER

-Hello!

-Have you had a go at Rattus?

It's the last time I take a peep out during that game.

Yeah. I'd keep well away from that game, if I were you.

-Well, you did brilliantly, Molly. Well done.

-Thank you.

Soldiers in World War I didn't just whack the rats,

they also had a cunning trick.

They'd put a bayonet on their rifle,

then a lump of cheese on the bayonet.

They'd aim the rifle at the enemy lines,

wait for the rat to nibble at the cheese and...

I think we've heard quite enough.

Time for the next round and it better not involve injuries to rats.

Time for the final round.

Over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out who we've got.

It's the Vile Victorians.

Good day.

No quirky quiz in our final round.

It's straight to our big all-play game

and this one is scary,

with a capital S.

Everyone...get down that Time Sewer.

Go on, Josh.

I really don't want to do this.

Bye, Georgie. Bye, Molly.

-See ya!

-See ya!

Bodies were stolen from graveyards

to sell to surgeons,

who wanted to experiment on the corpses

to find out more about how the human body works.

It's time to play...

You are a rotten robber.

Your challenge - to steal three bodies from the graveyard,

get them through the railings, onto the carts,

find the key to the cemetery gate

and get them onto the surgeon's table.

If you hear this noise... WHISTLE BLOWS

..then you must rush back to the cemetery and hide,

so the policeman doesn't spot you.

A second whistle means you can go again.

The first person to get all their bodies to the surgeon's table

and grab their dodgy money is the winner.

Three, two, one...

HOOTER BLARES

So, here go the grave robbers,

through the railings, grabbing their first bodies now.

Now, I'm afraid, Josh, you won't get it through like that.

That's it, that's very good.

The drag-through is the best way of getting them through.

And Molly is off and running straightaway, look at that!

Up to the cemetery gates already.

Found the key. That can be a problem.

We've seen that in the past.

And she's working away at the lock already.

She's through, through with corpse number one.

There it is. Two more to go for her.

That's delivered. She can leave it now. It's there.

I've got a bad feeling about Georgie and that middle corpse.

She's looking in his trousers for the key.

It's hanging off the end of a chain.

And Josh is taking his trolley into the final sector of the game.

That's not necessary either.

So the person who's listened the most

is, once again, in the lead.

And Georgie's found the key.

Well, that's a good start, a very good start...

Hang on, where's Josh going with that trolley?!

WHISTLE BLOWS Here come the police!

They've got to be quick. They've got to get behind those gravestones

and they've got to be quiet, because here he comes -

it's our Victorian bobby,

the peeler, the rozzer.

Here he comes, looking for naughty grave robbers

in amongst the topiary and hedges.

Clearly, this policeman doesn't think there's anything wrong with

a corpse hanging halfway through a railing!

WHISTLE BLOWS The whistle goes,

the second whistle - they are back to the game, to where they were.

And Molly resumes her battle with corpse number two.

She is through and it's on the trolley. And off she goes.

And there, look, he's got a golfer - the check trousers there.

I think, in his lifetime, this corpse was clearly a golfer.

Well, Dave, I think it has to be said

golfers do, in fact, die eventually.

They certainly do, but not normally on the course.

And they are not normally buried in their kit.

But this one clearly has been.

Second corpse beautifully delivered there by Molly.

Georgie still wrestling with that lock.

She is a long way behind now.

There goes Josh. In, second corpse delivered.

So it's tight between Molly and Josh.

Oh, she's through! Georgie is finally through with a corpse!

And there goes Josh with cobwebs in his hair.

Molly a little bit cobwebbed as well.

Here they go, this is the race! They are as they stand here.

Third corpse each coming through.

Look at Josh yanking that...

Oh! And that could be crucial.

Molly loses her third corpse off the trolley.

That delay could cost her everything.

And here comes Josh. Can he cash in?

He's certainly got a cobweb on his head.

Can he cash in? Yes, he's straight for the bag.

Nothing can stop him now,

apart from falling into an open grave.

He's avoided doing that and it's there!

Josh has made it.

He's won the grave robbing and that gives him a Year Sphere.

Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back. And...

Well, no need to ask you, Josh. You're off.

You've grabbed yourself a Year Sphere.

Well done.

When Queen Victoria was just a child,

the infamous criminals Burke and Hare

were plying their gruesome trade.

Not satisfied with just robbing graves,

they murdered people and sold them to a surgeon

who experimented on the corpses.

Burke and Hare were caught.

Hare testified against Burke,

who was hanged and what happened to his body?

It was given to a surgeon, who experimented on the corpse.

Ha-ha! It's got a lovely kind of circularity to it, hasn't it?

Yeah, I'm not sure "lovely" is the word...

It was an excellent effort, wasn't it?

How did you feel it went for you?

I knew I was going to win when Molly slipped up for me. Thanks, Molly!

Fantastic. Molly, you've ended up with four Year Spheres.

Georgie, you've got one. Josh, you've got one.

-Yay!

-Yay, indeed. Anyone can win this.

It's time to count them up.

Remember, the AD years are added to your total,

the BC years are subtracted from it.

Molly, let's have a look at your first sphere.

1533 AD -

the Incan empire destroyed by Spanish conquistadores.

1485 AD -

Richard III killed in battle that year.

1702 AD -

the death of King William III.

This all-important fourth one, what is it?

1840 AD!

The first stamp, the Penny Black, comes into use.

There's applause from the other two contestants.

You have scored 6,560 points.

And, seeing as we don't feature years in the future,

and you've got one sphere each, neither of you can catch her.

But we're going to have a look at your spheres anyway.

Georgie, what have you got there?

Oh, dear. 2184 BC -

the Egyptian king Pepi II died aged 100 that year.

Josh, can you beat Georgie? Let's have a look.

Well, you can, but only just. 490 BC -

the battle of Marathon

between the Persians and the Athenians was that year.

So, that means today's winner, with 6,560 points, is Molly,

who will be taking home our star prize.

And when I say "star", think more "black hole", unfortunately,

as it's been selected by the flea metropolis that is Rattus Rattus.

Well, today's prize is nothing more than a nutritious piece of fruit.

-A date, to be precise.

-Oh, that sounds harmless.

Mm, an ancient Egyptian date, no less,

picked by a trained baboon.

Hold on a second. Tell me that isn't a bit of baboon poop on it!

-Erm...give us a sniff.

-Ew!

Yeah, you're right, it is baboon poop.

Well, all the better! More authentic, Molly!

-So, con-RAT-ulations!

-There you go, Molly.

Sorry, the baboon poop should come off after a while, hopefully.

-Thanks.

-Just try not to touch it.

It just remains for me to say thanks to our winner, Molly.

And thanks, also, to our gallant runners-up, Georgie and Josh.

And no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

He doesn't mean it, not really.

I do. You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.

Next time, why not play along by downloading the Gory Games app

from the CBBC website?

# Keep watching

# We'll be back again

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# Games! #