Episode 11 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# You'd better turn off This show ain't for you

# Still watching, then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories' Gory Games

# Horrible Histories' Gory...

Games. #

Welcome to Gory Games.

I'm the star of the show,

Rattus Rattus.

And I'm the other star of the show,

Dave Lamb!

Yeah, course you are!

I like to keep Dave around. He's dead wood.

But you know, really great comedians like to play off a straight man!

Who are you talking to, Rattus?

To my fans on my PooTube channel,

they love a bit of behind-the-scenes action.

Yeah, I'm keeping it real!

Did you just say "PooTube"?

Obviously.

Let's just crack on and meet today's Horrible Historians!

Hello, I'm Bobbie and I'm from Manchester.

Hello, Bobbie.

Hi, I'm Ollie and I'm from Ipswich.

Hello, Ollie.

Hi, I'm Millie and I'm from Oxford.

Hello, Millie. They're looking good today, eh, viewers?

Welcome everyone, welcome.

Right, you are here playing to win Year Spheres.

The person with the highest Year score at the end, will win

a putrid prize, dredged out of the Time Sewer by Rattus Rattus.

Ah, Dave's only pretending to find it disgusting.

I certainly am not!

Now, don't forget, you can play along at home

and win Year Spheres of your own.

Yeah, just download the Gory Games App from the CBBC Website.

It's free!

So, what's our first round all about?

Let's go over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Rotten Romans.

Four questions on the Rotten Romans coming up.

The person who gets the most right, wins the first Year Sphere.

And your four Roman topics are...

Meals,

Chariots,

Emperors

and Leadership.

And Millie, you get to pick first, in this first round.

Emperors, please.

Emperors it is, let's hear that question.

Emperor Elagabalus created a lottery,

in which Romans could win slaves and houses,

but he also threw in some booby prizes,

which of these was not one of Elagabalus' booby prizes?

A. Dead dog,

B. Swarm of bees,

C. Bucket of chicken guts.

They're almost as good as my Gory Games prizes.

Sound absolutely appalling.

So, what do you think? Do you think it's A, B or C?

Show me now, please.

Interesting, Millie and Ollie have agreed on B.

Bobbie thinks it's A. What's the answer, please?

The answer is...

C.

The bucket of chicken guts was not a prize.

Bad luck everybody, no points scored as yet.

Ollie, pick a topic.

Could I have Meals, please?

You certainly can, Ollie, that is a question from Rattus Rattus.

The Romans used to love covering their meals with garum sauce,

but what was in garum sauce? Was it...

A. Rotten fish guts,

B. Squashed beetles,

C...

Goose vomit?

I'm liking garum sauce already!

What was in garum sauce? Was it... A. Rotten fish guts

B. Squashed beetles,

C. Goose vomit?

Show me now, please.

Girls agree, they think it's A.

Ollie thinks it's C.

What's the answer, Rattus?

The answer is, A, Rotten Fish Guts.

But I can wholeheartedly recommend squashed beetles

and goose vomit as well!

Yes, remind me not to come round for dinner, Rattus.

Well done, Millie and Bobbie, that is a point apiece, you

are off the mark. Still plenty of time to catch up, Ollie,

don't worry.

Bobbie, your turn to pick a topic.

-Leadership, please.

-Let's hear the question.

In Ancient Rome, which feature was considered

a sign of leadership?

A. Big Ears

B. Baldness

C. Crooked Nose?

Oh, just tell me it's not baldness.

It's certainly baldness in the modern day.

In Ancient Rome, which feature was considered a sign of leadership?

Was it A. Big Ears,

B. Baldness,

C. Crooked Nose?

Show me now, please.

Everybody has gone for B, what's the answer, please?

The answer is...

C. A crooked nose.

Tricky round this so far, isn't it, very, very difficult questions.

We have one category left in this round, it's on chariots.

And here it is.

Chariot racing was totally lethal,

most of the drivers would die on the track, in spectacular crashes.

But, what were these crashes called?

A. Wipeouts,

B. Ship Wrecks,

C. Red Zones?

Chariot racing, very, very dangerous,

lots and lots of crashes, what were these crashes called, was it...

A. Wipeouts,

B. Ship Wrecks,

C. Red Zones?

Show me your answers now, please.

Wow, Millie thinks it's A, Ollie and Bobbie agree on B,

what's the answer?

The answer is...

B.

Spectacular chariot crashes were called ship wrecks,

as wood and people would fly everywhere.

We Romans sure knew a thing or two about entertainment.

Good grief!

Well, congratulations Ollie and Bobbie, a point apiece there.

And what that means is, at the end of this round, Bobbie,

you are the winner of the first Year Sphere.

And that in turn means that it's time for me to say...

All hail the potty pyramid!

Dave always hams up that bit!

Stick it on your podium,

we'll find out what's in there at the end of the show.

Now, winning the Roman quiz means Bobbie is automatically

through to play the Roman game, but will she be alone?

Or will everyone else get to play too?

Let's find out.

It's a single player silly game, so, come on, Bobbie.

Off down that Time Sewer on your own, go on get in there.

Urgh!

It does stink.

It's dog eat dog and Roman against Roman in 31BC, as

generals Mark Antony and Octavian scrap it out on the high seas.

It's time to play The Battle Of Actium

Your job, as a crew mate in Octavian's Navy, is to splat

Mark Antony's fleet into oblivion,

Using your historically accurate-ish catapult.

There's one point for every ship you sink and two points

if you hit Mark Antony's blue ship.

Score five points, in the time limit, to win your Year Sphere.

The battle begins...now

Of course, that really is an unstable platform she's firing from

there, isn't it, Rattus?

Yeah, poor Bobbie, bobbing about.

-Hopefully not being sick.

-I'd quite like that.

Well, it would be a nice meal for you, I suppose.

Bounced right off.

It will bounce straight off, you've got to hit high on the sail.

And she really needs to understand that.

The battle of Actium was, of course, an epic showdown

between Antony and Cleopatra

on one side and Octavian on the other.

-Oh, she's got one.

-She's got the first one.

Now, hopefully that will unlock the whole thing.

Wait a minute, here comes Trevor the seagull, flapping around in her way.

'30 seconds remaining.'

Trevor really could not have picked a worse time to do this.

Bobbie has got a lot of work to do here, get out the way, Trev!

Antony and Cleopatra, they were like the Kanye and Kim of their day.

Yes, although Cleopatra wasn't just famous for her bottom.

That's Mark Antony's ship! That's cost two points! What a terrific

blow that is, that means she only needs two more to take this game.

-Oh, that's the second.

-It's running out of time here, Rattus, though.

She needs to be quick, she needs to get it and she needs to get it soon.

She's done it and there she is, Usain Bob!

Well played, Bobbie. Excellent work, help yourself to a Year Sphere.

Well, you certainly found your sea legs there, Bobbie.

On to Round Two and to find out what's next,

it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Measly Middle Ages.

And here are your all important Middle Ages topics.

The Lion,

Sport,

Cures,

and Sieges.

So, Ollie, it's your turn to pick first.

Sport, please.

Sport, that is a prop question.

# Prop question, prop question, prop question... #

And what a glorious prop it is.

Here's the question. Ready? During very cold winters,

what sport did Londoners play in the Middle Ages, with their bone

skates, was it...

A. Ice Hockey,

B. Ice Snooker,

C. Ice Jousting?

Dave, could I check if there's any rotten meat left on that bone?

Well, yes, I suppose you can yeah, is there?

-No, nothing.

-Can I carry on now?

-Please do.

Thank you, Rattus. So, is it A, B or C?

Interesting, Millie and Bobbie have agreed on C, Ollie thinks it's A.

I can tell you that the answer is C, Ice Jousting.

They'd skate at each other, using sticks like jousting poles.

Now there's a show I'd watch, celebrity jousting on ice!

I think I'd have to give that one a miss, if they asked me.

You'd have to, Dave, it's only for celebrities!

Ha-ha, ha-ha! Zing!

Zing?

Who's in there?

It's PooTube.

Congratulations, Millie and Bobbie, there's a point apiece there.

-Bobbie, it is your turn to pick a topic.

-Cures, please

Cures, lovely, let's hear it.

What was the Middle Ages cure for freckles on your skin?

Hare's blood mixed with what?

A. Swallow eyes,

B. Chicken wee,

C. Lark tongues?

Oh! Ho-ho! Swallow eyes, chicken wee, lark tongues on toast,

Mmmmm! Yum, yum, yum!

Really is revolting! Let's have a look at your answers.

Wow, everybody thinks it's B, I wonder if it is?

The answer is A. Hare's blood mixed with swallow eyes.

So, no points there for that question, I'm afraid,

Millie it's your turn to pick one.

-The Lion, please.

-Let's hear that question.

King James II of Scotland was famously killed by The Lion

but what was it?

A. Performing Lion,

B. A Cannon,

C. A knight with long blond hair?

Oh, this is a good one.

So, King James II of Scotland was famously killed by The Lion.

But what was it?

Was it A. A performing lion,

B. A cannon,

or C. A knight with long blond hair?

Show me now, please.

Millie thinks it's C. Ollie and Bobbie think it's A.

What is the answer?

The answer is B.

James II of Scotland was killed after a huge cannon,

known as The Lion, exploded and shattered his leg.

You might say the cannon cost him an arm and a leg!

No, it only cost him his leg.

All right, nit picker!

Cor, I have to work with this(!)

So do I!

OK, it's a very low-scoring round, isn't it, this?

There's one category left, it's called Sieges,

and it's a question from Rattus Rattus.

When the Normans laid siege to Palermo in Sicily in 1064,

there were venomous spiders. What would happen if one bit you?

A. You'd get terrible diarrhoea,

B. You'd get a nasty case of wind,

C. You'd projectile vomit?

All great answers, but which is it?

Which is it?

What could it be?

A, B, or C, show me now, please.

Millie thinks it's A, Ollie and Bobbie agreeing with C.

-what's the answer Rattus?

-The answer is...

B.

The spider bite would cause you to swell up, get a nasty

case of wind, and possibly even die.

PRRFFFFT!!

Ahh, I've been bitten! I've been bitten! I'm going to die!

Either that or you had rotten beans for lunch.

Oh, yeah, that'll be it.

So, Millie and Bobbie, it's a tie-breaker situation.

Beginning with the letter D...

complete the name given to the plague that spread over

Europe in the 1300s, the Black...

-Bobbie?

-Death.

Death is the correct answer. That means you can help yourself

to another Year Sphere, go for it.

What's going to be in this one, I wonder, Rattus.

OK, Bobbie, you are through to play the Middle Ages game but will

it be just you or will the others get to play too, let's find out.

It's an All Play Gory Game.

Right everyone, get down that time sewer. Lead them off, Bobbie.

You smell!

Did he say "You smell"? Very rude.

Oh, you're awfully good with that door, Dave. Yes, I tend to

think of Dave less of a presenter, more as a glorified door man.

Thank you, Rattus. In the Middle Ages,

if you wanted to go into a castle but the people in the castle

didn't want to let you in, you had two choices.

Give up or lay siege.

Yes, it's time to play...

'Savage Siege.'

You've got loads of stuff to fire in, rocks, rotten meat

and horse's heads.

The more accurate you are, the more likely you are to win.

The siege begins...now.

So, here we go then, with Savage Siege and the contestants have to

catapult several objects into baskets, in order to score points.

And of course, you can get involved at home too, on the Gory Games app.

-It's free

-It certainly is, Rattus.

Well, a hunk of rotten meat there for Bobbie.

Wow, look at that, Ollie scored

with a rock. A nice tactic, in my opinion. These rocks really do fly.

Bobbie's trying one out there too, oh, but she misses.

-Yes, it's tricky

-That's a point for Millie though.

Bobbie taking aim again, yes, this time she scores.

So, it's very even-steven here at the start.

Let's see what Ollie can do here. Oh, it's a miss,

Millie's trying her luck with some rotten meat.

Oh, oh, hold on a minute! She's got it in, but it's in Ollie's basket,

not hers, so that's not going to count for either of them.

Bad luck there.

'30 seconds remaining.'

So, Millie and Ollie are now joint leaders with two points each,

Bobbie just behind them with one, this is an incredibly close siege.

And, of course, during a siege, they'd fire in rotten meat

and bits of dead horse to spread disease in the castle.

Ahh, clever. So, Millie lining up a stone here.

Oh, she's done it!

Another one flies straight into the basket for her,

this is impressive stuff.

But Ollie means business too, look at this, he's got a horse's head,

can he do it?

NEIGHING

Yes, he can!

But it's not enough. Millie wins the game and she's rightly chuffed.

Welcome back, everybody. Yes, help yourself, Millie, help yourself.

How was that, Ollie? You had four in your basket

but one of them wasn't yours.

I just suddenly saw it appearing in there and I was like, who's that?

-That was you, was it, Millie?

-Yeah.

-That was very decent of you

but, of course, it doesn't score for either of you.

Here we go, it's Round Three and it's over to the Gory Grid

to find out what's next.

It's the Groovy Greeks.

Here are your four Greek topics.

Sparta,

Dolphins,

Tyrants,

and Doctors.

And Bobbie, it is your turn to lead us off this time.

-Doctors, please.

-Doctors.

True or False...

If ancient Greek Dr Menacretes of Syracuse cured a patient,

he would then sell them into slavery?

I can tell you that it's true or false!

Very helpful, as always(!) So, what do you think? Show me now.

Everybody thinks it's true.

What's the answer?

It's...

true!

He made patients sign an agreement before he treated them, stating

that if he cured them, he could sell them into slavery.

Good one, Doc.

Congratulations, everybody Everyone starts with a point which is

a great way to start the round.

Millie, your turn to pick a topic.

-Dolphins, please.

-Let's hear the question.

True or false, Dolphin was an ancient Greek delicacy.

Would you eat dolphin, Rattus?

Erm...if it falls into the category "anything", then yes.

Yes, yes, I would.

Yes, I think dolphin does fall into the category of "anything".

So, good for you.

True or false, everyone? Dolphin was an ancient Greek delicacy.

Show me now, please.

OK, the girls think it's false,

Ollie thinks it's true. What's the answer?

It's false, dolphins were seen as messengers from the gods.

To kill one was a crime punishable by death.

Oh, erm, on second thoughts, I would never, ever eat dolphin.

Yeah? Good rat. OK, well done, Millie, well done, Bobbie.

That's an extra point for both of you.

-Ollie, it's you to pick a topic.

-Erm...Sparta, please.

Let's hear the question on Sparta.

True or false, if Spartan babies were seen as weak, their parents

gave them away to be brought up as slaves?

"If Spartan babies were weak, their parents gave them away to be

"brought up as slaves." Is that true or is that false?

Show me now, please.

Hey, hey, hey, total agreement everybody thinks it's true, is it?

It's false. Weak babies were left on the mountainside to die.

I was a strong baby, obvs!

I think we all know who should have been left on a mountainside.

Of course, I mean Dave. Oh, did you hear that?

Bit harsh! No points to award there, I'm afraid, but one category

left in this round, it's Tyrants and it's a question from Rattus Rattus.

True or false? Greek Tyrant Cleisthenes,

wanted to take the city of Kirrhans and did

so by contaminating the water supply with laxatives.

Who'd have thought you'd do a poo-related question, Rattus?

So, what do you think? Is that true or is that false?

Everybody thinks it's true. Rattus, what's the answer?

The answer is...

it's true! He contaminated their water supply with laxatives

and he gave the whole city diarrhoea.

The inhabitants were so weakened, it was easy to take the city.

Although I'm not sure you'd still want to! Congratulations, everybody.

A point each. Millie and Bobbie, it's tie-breaker time once more.

Are you ready?

Beginning with the letter O, which sporting event was

created by the ancient Greeks in 776 BC.

Millie?

-Olympics?

-Correct, it is the Olympics.

Well done, you get to pick a Year Sphere, of course.

I let Dave do all these bits, it makes him feel useful.

Rattus, can you please concentrate on the show?

I am! My show, on PooTube!

So, Millie, as the winner of the Greek Quiz, you're through to play

the Greek Game, or will it be just you, or will the others get to

play too? Let's find out.

It's a single player brainy game.

So, off down the Time Sewer with you, Millie.

This still stinks.

It does, I'm afraid. The Greeks were a clever bunch

and invented early prototypes of loads of things we still use today.

It's time to play Geeky Greeks.

Eight everyday items. Unbelievably, five of them

were invented over 2,000 years ago by geeky Greeks,

your challenge is to work out which five.

Choose five items and move them to the columns,

then touch the Greek bust to find out how many you got right.

Keep trying different combinations until you get all of them right

and your time starts...now.

Well, off she goes and there's no messing.

She's gone for the tennis racquet and the draughts.

-There's the toothpaste.

-There's the toothpaste.

There's the lighthouse.

She's making quick decisions here which I think is going to

count in her favour eventually.

That's the anchor.

'You have three correct.'

She's got three right.

So, the tennis racquet comes off I have a feeling that's a good move,

Rattus, and on goes a severed arm.

Is that a wrist watch on there though?

'You have three correct.'

It's the wrist watch we're... we're looking at there not the arm,

the arm definitely wasn't invented by the Greeks.

'You have three correct.'

Oh! Down to three right.

Yeah, oh dear. Now, this could be bad.

'You have two correct.'

Two right, OK, so the light house is going back on,

the toothpaste is coming off, that should get it back up to three.

Oh, hello, what's she doing with the toothpaste?

She's popping it back on.

'You have two correct.'

She really needs to be making one change at a time here,

that's the best strategy.

'You have two correct.'

That's right

The wrist watch has come off.

The game of draughts has gone back on.

'You have three correct.'

And that has worked well for her.

'30 seconds remaining.'

There goes the baby's rattle.

'You have four correct.'

She's got four right. There's only one of these now, Rattus,

that has to come off.

She's taking the syringe.

The anchor goes back on.

'You have four correct.'

Still four, so we know that the syringe can go back on.

she's getting the tactics spot on now, Rattus.

The lighthouse has gone, how many has she got?

'You have four correct.'

So, we know that the lighthouse goes back on.

She knows what she's doing here. The rattle's come off.

You have four correct.

AIR HORN

She's run out of time. She knew what she was doing

but simply didn't have the time left.

Oh, Millie, bad luck, bad luck, so close.

You know which one was wrong, don't you?

It was toothpaste. So the ancient Greeks didn't invent tennis

or wrist watches.

Both of those were invented by the Tudors. Or toothpaste,

which was an Egyptian invention.

It's the final round

so it's over to the Gory Grid to find out what we've got.

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day.

Vile Victorians and it's straight to our All Play Scary End Game.

And this one is dead funny.

Do you know, watching Dave try to do a joke,

is like watching a dog try to juggle.

Leave it! I've had about enough of that camera.

Everyone, down the Time Sewer come on. Lead us off, Bobbie.

Oh!

I know. It's time to play...

When Queen Victoria was only a child, grave robbing was common.

Bodies were dug up and sold to surgeons.

That stinks! No, literally!

It does! You have to steal three corpses

and get them to the surgeon's table.

You'll need the key to the cemetery gates.

Remember, a whistle means the police are coming.

A second whistle means it's all clear. The first person to

get their dodgy money is the champ.

Ready...

And they're off! Each grabbing a body without hesitation.

Now then, look at that technique. That is one of the greatest

techniques I've ever seen on this game.

Bobbie, rather than pushing or pulling, went through

the railings with the corpse at the same time.

Dave, it's nice to see a game that's

based around one of my favourite hobbies.

I don't even want to know what you mean by that!

Can she get the key out and maintain her advantage over the other two?

And Bobbie's through. That's good, Bobbie's through here.

And the first corpse is being delivered.

Spending a lot of time rearranging that corpse, making sure it's

comfortable. The corpse is dead.

There's no point making it comfortable.

Thing is, Rattus, surgeons did need corpses to practise on.

That's right, Dave, otherwise everyone they operated on

became, well...another corpse!

True. Through the railings she goes, to pick up her second cadaver.

And is she going to use that technique again?

Well, she led through that time

and now it's become the old pull through technique.

Oh! It's all become a little bit Strictly Come Dancing.

It has, but with slightly more arm dislocation and slightly less music.

Bobbie has a very workman-like approach. She's obviously

stolen a body or two in her time, but what on earth is going on here?

What is Millie actually doing here, Rattus? She seems to be taking

her trolley all the way to the surgeon's table.

WHISTLE

Here comes the copper...they've got to get back behind those gravestones

and stay still.

Now, this officer of the law, this pillar, how's his

eyesight today? How's your eyesight, fella? He's having a cursory look

at the topiary. He's got his hands behind his back. At least they're

not in his pockets but he is failing to spot corpses

littering the ground.

That policeman really hasn't got a clue, has he?

Is that moustache obscuring his vision?

He's more interested in the shrubbery!

WHISTLE

And they're ready to go again.

And they're haring back to the positions they were in.

Can Millie come back? I'm not so sure she can.

That's her first body, after all.

And Ollie's delivering corpse number two now.

But Bobbie has her final cadaver well in hand.

Dave, digging up corpses in the night for cash, it's a dirty job

but someone's got to do it.

Well, they haven't really, Rattus.

There goes Bobbie. She's taking her last one.

Surely there's not much can stop her now. Not even an officer of the law.

Ollie's in sight.

He's within reach but she's just got to take her bag of loot

and make it down the other end.

All she's got to do is get through the railings -

she's done it many times before.

Let's see the Usain Bob. There it is.

Well played, everybody. Well done, Bobbie, help yourself to

a Year Sphere.

Very, very good performance.

Oh, what's going to be in there?

We'll find out any minute now.

Hey, where's my PooTube camera?

This one here?

I think someone may have chucked it down the PooTube.

I think someone will have been caught on camera!

I think someone doesn't care!

Ahhh. Now it's time to count up those Year Spheres.

And remember, AD years are added and BC years are subtracted.

Good luck, everybody. OK, Millie, let's have a look at that first one.

1431 AD. King Henry VI of England crowned King of France that year.

It's a good start. Let's have a look at the second one.

1865 AD. Lewis Carroll published Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

that year. Well, Millie, you have just made things very,

very interesting.

3296 points.

Very impressive.

Ollie, what it does mean, of course, is that your zero is not going

to be enough for today. Bad luck.

But Bobbie, it means you've got

quite a target to hit. Let's have a look at this first one, please?

871 AD. Alfred the Great became King of Wessex

and fought the Vikings that year.

Let's have a look at the second one?

1903 AD.

The Wright brothers invented the first successful airplane.

The third one, please.

1170 AD. This is very close.

Thomas Beckett murdered at Canterbury Cathedral that year.

It's all on the turn of this 4th one. Let's have a look at it.

1917 AD. The Russian Revolution started that year.

So, in first place, with 5,861 points, it's Bobbie.

Well done, Bobbie.

Your reward, I'm afraid to say,

is to receive something that Rattus has dragged from the feted

depths of the Time Sewer. I dread to ask. What have you got, Rattus?

The Gold of the Middle Ages' alchemist.

Really? Gold?

Well, he spent eight years trying to turn into gold. It's actually some

chicken eggs mixed with horse poo.

Of course it is! Delightful. Well, there it is, for all your hard work.

You get some eggs mixed in with horse poo.

-I can only apologise, Bobbie.

-Thank you.

For our runners up, I'm afraid it's not much better, it's a crawl home

through the Time Sewer. Off you go, the pair of you, come on.

-Here we go!

-Bring on the gunge!

That's the spirit.

Excellent work.

And don't forget, you can play along next time

if you download the Gory Games app at the CBBC website.

This is so gooey!

I've been Dave Lamb.

I've been Rattus.

You've been watching Gory Games.

-Or the Rattus channel on PooTube.

-Goodbye.

# Horrible Histories' Gory...

# Games! #