Episode 6 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# You better turn off, this show ain't for you

# Still watching?

# Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...Games! #

Welcome to Gory Games.

I'm Rattus Rattus.

-And I'm...

-And he's my nephew, Nibbles.

Excuse me?

Mm, Nibbles here is doing work experience so I thought

he should start with a simple job that any old idiot could do.

Yours, Dave.

I don't think so.

Oh, but he's so cute.

I suppose he is quite cute.

Oh, yes. Nibbles says, "Let's meet today's Horrible Historians."

Ooh, he's very good, isn't he, Dave?

He's all right.

Hi. I'm Sam and I'm from Northern Ireland.

Nibbles says, "Hi, Sam."

Hi, I'm Ellie and I'm from Bristol.

Nibbles says, "Hi, Ellie."

Hi, I'm Will and I'm from Northern Wales.

Nibbles says, "Hi, Will."

Oh, crikey, we haven't got all day.

Can't he just start by getting my quiz questions or something?

Oh, all right. Off you go, Nibbles.

NIBBLES SQUEAKS

Bye, Nibbles.

Sorry about that. You are playing to win Year Spheres.

The person with the highest year score at the end will win

a putrid prize plucked from the Time Sewer by uncle Rattus Rattus.

Don't forget you can play at home and win Year Spheres of your own.

That's right, just download the Gory Games app from the CBBC website.

Nibbles thinks it's brilliant.

We don't really care what Nibbles thinks.

So, what's our first round all about?

Let's go over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day.

So, four questions then on the Vile...

What the...? Nibbles!

Well, what can I say? The clue's in his name.

Nibbles, go and do something idiot-proof,

like make a cup of tea, please.

What a tiny menace.

Right, four questions then on the Vile Victorians.

The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

And your four Victorian topics are...

Will, you get to pick first in this round. What will it be?

Cures, please.

That is a question from Rattus Rattus.

Which of these was a Victorian cure for a cold?

Was it A, wearing gloves made of cabbage,

B, soaking your feet in hot water with mustard

or C, rubbing your face with jam?

All spectacularly silly options, if I may say so.

Was it A, wearing gloves made of cabbage,

B, soaking your feet in hot water with mustard

or C, rubbing your face with jam? Show me your answers now, please.

Well, everybody's gone for B, Rattus.

What's the answer?

The answer is B.

People would soak their feet in hot water with mustard, which is

also how to make a delicious cheesy mustard drink.

-Yum.

-Well, that's a point each, very well done.

We're off and running, excellent stuff.

Ellie, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Can I have inventors, please?

Of course you can.

Charles Babbage invented the first-ever computer machine,

but what did he also invent?

A, a flying bicycle, B, a self heating hat

or C, shoes for walking on water?

The answer is...

-One of those three.

-Thanks.

He's so helpful, isn't he, that Rattus?

-Yeah.

-Well, it's very tricky but is it A, B or C?

Show me your answers now, please.

Wow, Will's gone for B, Ellie and Sam have agreed on C.

What's the answer, please?

The answer is C.

Charles Babbage also invented shoes for walking on water.

But they didn't work very well and he nearly drowned testing them.

Yes, but to be fair to him,

his computer thing seems to have done all right.

So that's a point apiece there for Ellie and for Sam.

Two topics left to choose from, what you having?

Could I have coffee, please?

Let's hear that question.

The question is...

Here's a clue. It's not D.

That's another helpful clue from Rattus.

So was it A, powdered horse liver,

B, powdered beetles or C, soot?

Let's have those answers.

Ellie, you're on your own with A. What's the answer, please?

Very good, well done, Ellie. That means you're in the lead.

The final question is on matches and this is what it is.

In Victorian times, girls who worked in match factories had to

work with a dangerous chemical called phosphorous.

What did it do to the body?

Did it A, turn your toes orange, B, rot away your jaw

or C, make your eyes fall out?

Show me your answers, please.

Will and Sam have agreed again, Ellie out on her own with B.

What's the answer please?

The answer is B.

The condition was known as Phossy Jaw

and it made you stink really badly.

I mean, even worse than normal.

Ellie, fantastic play, that's a full house for you,

and it means that you have won the first Year Sphere.

And that in turn means it's time for me to say...

ALL HAIL THE POTTY PYRAMID.

And choose carefully because AD dates will be added

to your total score but BC dates will be subtracted.

I wonder what's inside that, we'll find out later.

Now, winning the Victorian quiz means Ellie is automatically

through to play the Victorian game.

But will she be playing alone or will the others get to play too?

Let's find out.

It's a single player scary game,

so Ellie, off you go down that Time Sewer.

It stinks in here.

Certainly does.

During the Industrial Revolution, poor children had to

work in factories where horrible accidents were commonplace.

It's time to play...

Your gruesome challenge

is to make your way through the factory machinery,

finding the lost four fingers.

Get back through the machinery and return those fingers to the hand.

Do it within the time limit to win the Year Sphere.

Your time starts now.

HORN BLOWS

Now, Ellie slides through the mangle

and literally goes headfirst into the factory.

What's she going to do here? She's got to unscrew that nut

and then pull the...She's given up!

I don't blame her, Dave.

Well, I mean it was a bit tricky so she thought "I know, I'll give up."

I like the way she's doing this, Ratters.

And down, down plunges the finger, is that far enough?

No, I don't think she can quite reach it, Rattus.

She's recovered, that could have been a setback, and what's this?

She's taking the first finger back now, this is a new tactic.

Ellie is ploughing through things now,

she's spinning the...spinny thing.

Yes, she's just got to keep her focus here

because in comes the mean factory owner.

Work harder!

Oh, that is a disgrace, poking, shouting at her,

that must have been off-putting.

Pretty much any day at the BBC, Dave.

Yes, but I'll tell you what, Rattus, she kept her focus.

She barely looked up from her work.

-Oh, she's got it!

-The second finger's free.

Back through the funny little loom. And the finger goes on, I think

both of those fingers are the wrong way round actually, Rattus.

I'm just going to check my own hand.

Yes, definitely the wrong way round, I think.

But she's got the third finger, that was very quick.

This is the only finger left now,

the original finger that she left behind.

Is she going to run out of time here, Rattus?

It's the final finger, Dave.

This is the one that counts, this will make a fist of it,

this will give it the full handful.

30 seconds remaining.

It's upright, that's the angle it wants to finish at,

it's just got to come down a couple more and she's clear.

There's another one, she's just chucking bolts around there.

The factory's getting messy, oh, hang on.

It's jammed, it's jammed!

Oh, there's a finger jammed in the machinery

and that's what this game's all about.

And on it goes, that one's definitely the right way around.

-Back through the rollers.

-Through the mangle she goes.

Ellie has completed the task and there's the celebration,

the Running Man with a double pot stir.

Ellie, excellent work.

Very good, round of applause from Sam as you come on there,

and Will, lovely.

Pick a Year Sphere.

Will it be good, will it be bad? We'll only find out at the end.

Excellent work. Now, Rattus, where's that nephew of yours with my tea?

I'm sure he's on his way.

On to Round Two. Over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Measly Middle Ages.

Right. Four questions again

and here are your all-important Middle Ages topics.

So, Ellie, it's your turn to pick first.

Can I have food please?

Food, that is a question from Rattus Rattus.

-It certainly is.

-There you go.

During the food shortages at the Siege of Acre,

what was not cooked and eaten by the starving population?

Which did they not eat?

Wheat from poo, flesh from the enemy dead or tails from rats?

Let's see your answers now, please.

They've all gone for C, are they all right or are they all wrong, Rattus?

The answer is indeed C. Nobody ate rat tails and I should hope not too.

A point apiece. Well done, everybody. We're off the mark.

Ellie, I don't want to put pressure on you

but the perfect game is still on.

OK, Sam. What's your choice, please?

Could I have war, please?

You certainly could, let's hear that question.

In 1313, what did two Italian cities go to war over?

So, three very stupid reasons to go to war. But which was the real one?

Let's see those answers.

Total disagreement. Which of you is going to be right?

Let's find out the answer.

The answer is A.

The cities of Medina and Bologna went to war after some

soldiers from Medina stole a ceremonial bucket.

Naughty soldiers.

Ellie, it's still on. Look at that, the perfect game.

I'm getting excited, it's far too early to be talking in these terms.

Will, what are you having?

Will the first.

Now, that is a prop question.

BOTH: Prop question, prop question, prop question!

And this is the prop.

William the Conqueror was crowned King of England on Christmas Day,

but what happened at the coronation?

So, what do you think?

Is it A, B or C? Let's see those answers, please.

BBC is what we have there.

I can tell you that the answer is...

B!

When the crowd cheered,

William the Conqueror's Norman guards thought the English were

starting a riot, so they attacked them and set fire to the church.

It ended in chaos.

Ellie and Will got that one right,

which means Ellie's still on for the perfect game.

Let's not get excited about it, it might not happen.

OK, the final question in this round is on Richard the Lionheart.

This is what it is.

Richard the Lionheart died in France while besieging a castle.

He was killed by a crossbow bolt,

but what was distracting him at the time?

A, an enemy soldier hitting away arrows with a frying pan,

B, a jester juggling axes whilst wearing a blindfold,

or C, a cow wearing a helmet being fired out of a catapult?

They all sound ridiculous to me, but one of them's true.

Do you think it's A, B or C? Let's see those answers, please.

Ellie, you are on your own with A. What's the answer, please?

The answer is A.

Richard the Lionheart was laughing at an enemy soldier who was

smashing away incoming arrows with a frying pan.

You couldn't make it up.

Unbelievable scenes here in the Quiz Dome.

Ellie has got a 100% record after two rounds.

Help yourself to another Year Sphere.

Well played, indeed. I have to say, Ratters, I am parched.

How long does it take to make a cup of tea?

He's only got little paws.

He's only got a little brain.

OK, Ellie, you are through to play the Middle Ages game,

but will it just be you or will the others get to play too?

Sam's crossing everything, let's find out.

It's an all play silly game! It worked.

It smells in here so bad.

It really does.

How long has this stuff been down here?

Centuries, millennia, eons.

Training to become a knight took 14 years,

but you lot have only got a couple of minutes.

It's time to play...

Knights used to practise their jousting by running the rings.

You must ride up and down your lane, hooking one ring at a time

and bringing it back to your basket.

The first to collect five rings wins the Year Sphere.

Are you ready?

In three, two, one...

FOGHORN

-Do you get on well with horses?

-I like their poop, Dave.

Yes, anything else about them or is it just the poo?

-Just the poo.

-Yeah.

I think we should probably have a look at the game, Rattus.

They've all managed to get a ring very quickly

and they're coming back down the lane.

Don't forget you can join in at home, of course,

by downloading the Gory Games app.

And I have to say this is going to be a very close one to call, all

three of them looking comfortable with some excellent polework.

They've all safely delivered their first ring there.

Remember, they need five to win the game.

And Ellie is moving ominously through this field

followed quickly by Sam.

Will had a little bit of trouble there, took an early lead

and now seems to have fallen back a little bit.

So let's see if Ellie and Sam can deliver these rings successfully.

Ellie gets it in the basket and so does Sam, yes.

These horses perform differently on different days,

it depends what mood they're in when they wake up, doesn't it?

It's not about poo, he's not interested. Here comes Will.

He's looking to equalise with this ring here,

can he get it in the basket?

-Oh! Did you see that, Rattus?

-Ring on the floor.

That was a ring on the floor from Will, that could really cost him.

That really could be crucial cos Ellie, I think, has three now

and so does Sam.

This game is starting to get really exciting.

Ellie's picked up another ring. And Sam has just missed one there.

Well, he really needs to try and keep up with Ellie here.

And here comes Will, charging down his lane with a ring.

Will he get it in the basket this time?

Oh, he's flicked it out again!

That kind of pole skill is not going to help in a joust.

Here comes Sam, that's teetering on the edge but it does count.

That's four apiece for Sam and Ellie.

This is Ellie's last ring,

she's coming down that track triumphantly here.

This is just the formality now of popping that...What?!

-It's on the floor.

-What just happened, Rattus?

It's fallen out of the basket, Dave.

Oh, she's going to have to get a sixth ring.

Now has she got time or is Sam going to be hot on her heels?

Sam's got his last ring. Ellie still needs to get hers on her lance.

Remember, it's the first to five rings.

She cannot afford another basket slip-up, because here comes Sam.

This is close, is it going to stay in this time?

Oh, it's there.

And Ellie has won by the smallest of margins.

She may be thrilled but she's got her legs on backwards.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

Ellie, help yourself again.

Crikey, well played.

Well played, everyone.

Ellie, that was a jousting masterclass.

Ah, at last, Nibbles. My tea.

Oh! Good grief, Nibbles, what do you call this?

NIBBLES SQUEAKS

Ooh, he's not going to like that. It's wee, Dave.

No wonder it took him so long, he's only got a tiny bladder.

You need to see a vet, my friend.

-Well done, Nibbles. Off you pop.

-Right.

Round Three and it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Rotten Romans.

Here are your four Roman topics.

So, Sam, it's your turn to lead us off. What are you going to go for?

Could I have armies please?

Armies. Yes, you can. Let's hear that question.

True or false. It was every Roman man's dream to fight in the army.

It was every Roman man's dream to fight in the army.

Is that true or is that false? Show me now.

What's the answer?

It's false.

Men were known to cut off their thumbs to avoid joining

the army as it made it impossible to hold a sword.

Will and Sam, well played, sirs. You are in the lead.

And Will, it's up to you to choose a category, please.

Emperors, please.

Emperors it is, that is a prop question.

Prop question, prop question.

A hunk of meat.

True or false, Emperor Maximinus banned the eating of meat in Rome.

Is that true or false?

They've all gone for false.

And I can tell you the answer is...

..false! Yes, it's false.

Maximinus loved eating meat, in fact he ate 20kg of meat per day.

Day?!

That is a point for everybody.

Everybody very much still in this round. Two categories left, Ellie.

Which of these are you going to go for?

Um, soap.

Soap, let's hear that question.

True or false. Romans didn't use soap.

So, Romans didn't use soap, is that true or is that false?

Will and Ellie think it's true, Sam thinks it's false.

What's the answer, please?

It's true. Romans didn't use soap.

We cleaned ourselves with olive oil which we'd scrape off with

a metal tool called a strigil.

Bad luck, Sam, bad luck.

Will and Ellie, look at this, it's close.

You're all still in it, there's one question left in this round,

it is on Nero and this is what it is.

True or false.

Emperor Nero liked to perform poetry, and if his audience

did not applaud loudly enough, he'd have them executed.

Is that true or is that false?

Everybody has gone for true.

What's the answer?

It's true.

Nero's poetry was so bad, some people pretended to be dead just

so they didn't have to listen to it.

So, everybody gets that one right.

And it means that at the end of that round,

with a perfect score for himself, Will claims the Year Sphere.

Finally.

Finally, off he goes.

I got a Year Sphere.

We'll find out what's in there later.

Don't worry, Sam, still Year Spheres to play for for you.

Will, as the winner, you are through to play our Roman game,

but will it be just you or is everybody coming along?

Let's find out.

It's a single player silly game.

So, off down the Time Sewer with you.

Oh, gosh, I will never get used to the smell.

It's 31BC and Roman civil war.

Octavian and Marc Antony are fighting for control

of the mighty Roman Empire.

It's time to play...

You're about to make history

and defeat Marc Antony's fleet with your catapult

as part of Octavian's mighty navy.

Load, aim and destroy your enemy.

There's one point for every ship you sink and two points

if you hit Marc Antony's blue ship.

Score six points in the time limit to win your Year Sphere.

Battle begins now.

FOGHORN

And off he goes, there he goes, he sets his first shot.

I like his style, Rattus, already.

Will looks like he means business.

Wallop, well, he's struck the sea firmly there

but that's not going to count.

You get nothing for hitting the sea.

And don't forget there's double points for Marc Antony's ship,

which is the one with the blue sails.

So that's what he's really looking for here.

-Oh, he's got one, he's got one!

-Ohhh.

That is one ship, it wasn't Marc Antony's but it's a start.

30 seconds remaining.

-Oh!

-Oh, Marc Antony! That was Antony and now here's Roger the seagull.

We don't like Roger, do we? He really is a nasty piece of work.

But Will hasn't been put off by him,

he's maintaining a very nice rhythm here.

Can he do it in the remaining time? Ohhh!

Will having a word with himself there,

he only needs one more to win.

-He's got to be quick.

-Yes!

And the fist pump goes up in the air,

and look at that celebration dance.

Oh, he's fallen in the sea.

A bit of hula and then threw himself overboard.

Come on then, Will. Back you come.

The conquering hero, well played. Very impressive, pick a Year Sphere.

Can I have it?

THEY LAUGH

There's still time, Sam, there's still time.

Well played, Will, that was excellent.

I just waited for loads of red ones to go past

and that blue one came.

Terrific work. Oh, joy. Nibbles is back.

What's that?

Oh, he says he knows which job he wants to do now.

What job is that, Nibbles?

My job?!

A rodent host who you can't hear, I like the sound of that.

HE SPITS

RATTUS LAUGHS

It's time for our big all play endgame.

So, over to the Gory Grid to find out what we've got.

It's the Slimy Stuarts.

Everybody get back down that Time Sewer, come on.

Yes, woohoo.

It started in a baker's shop, but are we all going to be toast?

It's time to play...

The date is 1666 and you are helping to fight the Great Fire of London.

You must collect water in your bucket,

carry it along your lane and chuck it on to the fire.

Whoever gets the most water on the fire in the time limit wins

the Year Sphere. And your time starts now.

FOGHORN

So, here we go then, London's Burning,

can these three plucky firemen and firewomen put it out?

Well, Sam's fallen over already so maybe not.

-You've got to scoop up the water...

-Scoop up the water.

Then you've got to run the length of this sort of old-fashioned

street and then you've got to chuck the water on to the flames,

-which Will is going to try and do now.

-Ohh!

-Oh, that was close.

Sam, oh, he's missed as well. And, oh, dear. Now then, Ellie.

Yep, they've not made any impression on that fire as yet, Rattus.

None whatsoever.

Oh, that was a lovely little jump though, wasn't it?

She came flying over that.

Now, Will. He's first, he's in the lead here slightly.

-Oh, and he's over.

-Yeah, he's over.

And when those lanes get slippy, Rattus,

they really become virtually impassable, don't they?

Right, let's see what they can do here.

Any takers for firemanship?

Yes, boom, look at that. Sam scored very well there, I feel.

Oh, oopsy, Will's down.

The lanes are starting to slip up a bit, Rattus, as we said.

But he's not letting that put him off, Sam's dry as a bone.

-Dave, this game reminds me, I think I left the gas on.

-Really?

RATTUS FARTS

Oh, Rattus, that stinks!

And that gas really isn't going to help with the blazing fire

that our contestants are dealing with.

30 seconds remaining.

Will now stepping it up a gear, bounding down his lane,

they're really starting to feel that heat now, Rattus.

Do you think any of these would make proper firemen?

All hopeless, Dave.

Well, that's quite a brutal assessment from Rattus there,

I wouldn't have gone that far myself.

Especially as Sam is now hurtling back towards the burning

building, eager to make these last few seconds count.

-Oh!

-Oh! Well, we've not seen that,

and he looks a little bit gobsmacked by what's happened there.

It doesn't matter though, because I think he's done enough to win it.

He will have to pay for that bucket though.

Back you come, back you come, back you come, back you come.

Well, that was a close-run thing. Sam, how did you find it?

I threw the bucket.

Yes, I noticed that. The entire bucket went into the house window.

OK, well, I can tell you that the winner of our final game is...

Sam. Bucket and all. Help yourself to a Year Sphere, Sam.

Well done, fella. OK, there we go.

Time to count up those Year Spheres then and remember,

AD years are added to your total and BC years are subtracted from it.

And we're going to start with you, Will.

Open up that first one for me. 1661 AD.

Charles II was crowned King of England

and Scotland that year, it's a great start.

Open your second sphere.

Oh, 2000 BC. Oh, Will. Stonehenge was completed around then.

Will, you have a total of -339.

Still, who knows, it could be enough.

That's what you've got to beat, Ellie, let's open up that first one.

1799AD, the death of George Washington that year.

The USA president, of course. Let's have a look at the second one.

Ooh, 287BC.

Archimedes was born that year and that takes you back a little

way, but you've got two more to come.

1991AD, crikey, the fall of the Soviet Union.

End of the Cold War, and the last one.

1885AD. Carl Benz developed the first petrol-driven car that year.

That gives you 5,388.

Now, Sam, you need 5,389.

So you're going to need a date in the future.

Let's have a look at that Year Sphere.

Oh, it's 68AD. Emperor Nero died that year.

Congratulations, Ellie,

because with a total of 5,388 points, you are today's winner.

As always, the prize is something hideous dredged

up from the Time Sewer.

It's a lovely set of Georgian false teeth.

To be fair, they do look surprisingly realistic.

That's because these falsies are made from the teeth of dead

soldiers at Waterloo.

Ellie, I can only share your disappointment.

Here you go, thank you for playing, I do apologise.

And bad luck, Sam and Will.

I'm afraid it's time for you two to take a trip home

through the Time Sewer.

I like gunge, so that's all right.

Oh, you'll love this.

And don't forget, you can play along next time

if you download the Gory Games app from the CBBC website.

-I've been Dave Lamb.

-And he's been Nibbles.

And that was Gory Games, see you next time. Goodbye!

Stop the gunge! Ugggh!

# Horrible histories Gory...Games! #