Episode 9 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and you don't laugh at poo

# You'd better turn off, this show ain't for you

# Still watching?

# Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# ..Games. #

Welcome to Gory Games.

I'm Rattus Rattus

And I'm Dave Lamb.

I'm afraid Marcus, my flea, isn't with us today.

He's on holiday but he has sent a postcard.

Gone somewhere nice, has he?

Yeah, your belly button, Dave.

"Having a lovely time enjoying the all-you-can-eat buffet."

Ouch!

Oh, Marcus!

So, let's meet today's Horrible Historians.

Hi, I'm George and I'm from Nottingham.

Hello there, George.

Hi, I'm Sofie and I'm from Bedfordshire.

Hello, Sofie.

Hi, I'm Tyrell and I'm from Leeds.

Hello, Tyrell. Welcome, everyone.

Apart from you, Marcus.

Haha. Right, you're all playing to win Year Spheres.

The person with the highest Year score at the end of the show

will win something so horrible that they'll wish they hadn't.

Oh, that's nonsense, Dave. They'll love it.

Well, that remains to be seen.

Don't forget, you can play along at home too.

And it's brilliant.

Just download the Gory Games app

from the CBBC website to join in

and you can win your own Year Spheres.

You can indeed.

Let's find out what Round One is all about

and go over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Groovy Greeks.

So, four questions on the Groovy Greeks coming up.

The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

And your four Greek topics are...

So, Tyrell, you get to pick first this time. What will you have?

-Death.

-You're going for Death?

Let's hear that question.

Listen carefully...

A wolf, a bear or a tortoise, eh?

For once, a rat is definitely not to blame.

No, fair enough.

No rats involved this time.

Very tricky but is it A, B or C?

Show me your answers now, please.

Tyrell's gone for A.

Sofie and George both think it's B.

What's the answer?

The answer is...C.

A tortoise.

Yes, it was a tortoise.

The story goes that an eagle wanted to break open the tortoise

and dropped it on Aeschylus' shiny, bald head thinking it was a rock.

Ever thought of wearing a safety helmet, Dave? Just saying.

Sofie, your turn to pick a topic.

Can I have Myths, please?

Myths? You certainly can.

According to Greek myths,

what did the Titan king Cronus do with his babies?

So, what did Titan king Cronus

do with his babies? Did he...

Let's see your answers, please.

Tyrell thinks it's B.

Sofie and George again agreeing on C.

What's the answer?

The answer is C.

Cronus ate his babies, so they couldn't grow up to take his throne.

But the story did have a happy ending.

He was poisoned, so he sicked them all back up again.

Brilliant!

Well, congratulations, Sofie and George - a point apiece -

and, George, it's your turn to pick.

Can I have Heracles, please?

Heracles? That is a prop question.

Prop question. Prop question.

-Plop question. Plop question.

-Plop question.

Very much a plop question.

There it is, some plop.

According to legend, the fifth labour of Greek hero Heracles

was to clean the stables of King Augeas,

which had not been cleaned in 30 years.

Hahaha!

-Sorry.

-But how did he do it?

Was it...

This question stinks and I love it.

Yes, I'm sure you do.

So, how did hero Heracles

clean the stables of King Augeas?

Is it A, B or C?

Show me your answers, please.

Sofie and George have agreed again.

I can tell you what the answer is.

It's B. Well done, Sofie and George.

He cleaned all the cow and horse poop by re-routing two rivers.

More points, then, for Sofie and George.

There's one question left. It's on Draco. Let's hear it.

The Greek lawmaker Draco was mega strict

but what was his punishment for stealing an apple?

Oh, you should never steal an apple.

Rotten apples are better.

Lots of protein in the maggots.

Ohh! Brrr.

Do you think that's A, B or C?

Show me now, please.

Well, everybody thinks it's B.

What's the answer?

Draco's punishment for stealing an apple was...

B, death.

But just to be clear, I did buy this one, all right?

It's mine.

Well, we'll just have to take your word for that. Points to everybody.

So, at the end of that round, we can see that Sofie and George

are neck and neck. We're entering a tie-break situation.

Fingers on buzzers.

Beginning with the letter G,

complete the name of the famous Macedonian king

and leader of the Greeks, Alexander the...

-Sofie.

-Great.

Great is correct.

Well done, Sofie.

Excellent answer.

You have won yourself the first Year Sphere,

which means it's time for me to say...

all hail the Potty Pyramid.

CHORAL CHANTING

Pick away, Sofie.

And concentrate because this is probably the most important decision

you'll ever make.

Or not.

Winning the Greek quiz means that Sofie is automatically through

to play the Greek game but will she be alone

or will the others get to play too?

Let's find out shall we?

Oh, it's a Single Player game.

So, Sofie, off down the Time Sewer on your own.

Ohh!

The Spartans were mighty warriors

and started training for battle from a very young age.

It's time to play...

You're a young Spartan

learning important lessons in how to be a thieving, sneaky

Spartan soldier. You have to make your way through the vines

and steal the sleeping soldier's lunch.

But be careful, if you touch a vine, a bell will ring,

disturbing the soldier.

Disturb him three times and it's game over.

The game starts in three, two, one...

KLAXON

And here comes Sofie.

She's trying to get through these vines without ringing any bells.

What we don't need is that soldier stirring

and ultimately waking up and then giving Sofie nine kinds of grief.

SOLDIER SNORES

I have to say, she's looking a little unsure here, Rattus.

Choosing to go below the vine.

This is very risky. There's a lot of rustling going on

and that was a tinkle.

Oh, dear, the soldier's stirred.

That's not a great start.

Oh! Sofie needs to take it very slowly now.

One more bell and she'll be in serious trouble.

Oh, there's number three!

-Arrrghh!

-And it's all over already

and I would not want to be Sofie right now.

Come on, then, Sofie, back you come.

Oh, bad luck.

But don't worry, there's still plenty of time

to win more Year Spheres.

Ow! Marcus, stop that!

Time now for an ad break.

Are you a flea fed up of sand, sea and sun?

Why not try a holiday with a difference,

the wilderness wonderland that is...

Just listen to these rave reviews.

Mr and Mrs Parasite, of Leeds, said...

"Oh, yes, we did."

Whilst Mrs Lousy, of Taunton, said...

So don't miss out.

Book your belly button holiday today.

READS TERMS AND CONDITIONS

Rattus, you are not helping here today, are you?

HE LAUGHS On to Round Two.

And to find out what's up next, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Terrible Tudors.

Tyrell, you're smiling.

-Yeah, I'm good at this.

-Are you?

-Yeah.

-Excellent.

Four questions on the Terrible Tudors coming up

and your four Tudor topics are...

So, Sofie, it's your turn to pick first this time round.

Can I have Anne Boleyn, please?

Let's hear that question.

True or false? Anne Boleyn had an extra finger on one hand.

Was Henry VIII's wife actually Anne the sixth...

digit?

Come on, everyone, enjoy yourselves.

So, Anne Boleyn had an extra finger.

Is that true or is that false? Show me now.

Everyone thinks it's true. What's the answer?

It's false. She actually had a wart on her hand

but a lot of people at the time thought it was another finger.

OK. No points, then, for that first question

but, George, it's your turn to pick next.

Can I have Henry VIII, please?

You certainly can. What's that question, please?

True or false? In his later years, Henry VIII put on a bit of weight

so he had to be carried up the stairs by four servants.

True or false? Or to put it another way, false or true?

Very helpful(!)

In his later years, Henry VIII put on a bit of weight

and had to be carried upstairs by four servants.

Is that true or is that false? Show me now, please.

They all think it's true. Are they right?

It's false. Henry was hoisted up by a crane.

No points as yet in this round. Tyrell, your chance to choose.

Can I have Coronations, please?

Let's hear the question.

Is this true or false?

This little piggy went to market.

This little piggy got sawn off...

or did it?

That is the question. Is that true or is that false?

An extraordinary round developing here. They all think it's true.

-What's the answer?

-The answer is, it's...

true.

Rattus, did someone then put it on...

-Ye Bay?

-Ye Bay!

-They're laughing look.

-Hahaha!

Ye Bay - cos it's in the past!

Don't get it.

HE CLEARS THROAT Wasn't my best work.

Excellent. Well done. A point for everybody there.

It's extremely close. There's one topic left in this round.

It is Customs and it is a prop question.

Prop question! Prop question! Prop question!

Thank you, Rattus.

In Tudor Britain, if someone weed or pooed in front of you,

it was customary to remove your hat.

I love a question about wee.

I also love a question about poo.

But both together, you are spoiling me, Dave.

I know I am.

So, true or false? In Tudor Britain,

if someone weed or pooed in front of you,

it was customary to remove your hat?

Let's see your answers.

Everybody's agreed again.

I can tell you that the answer is...

-true.

-Yes!

HE STRAINS

PRRRFFFT!

Dave, why aren't you removing your Tudor hat?

Argh!

Oh, me snout.

Well, congratulations. A point each.

And at the end of the round, it's a three-way tie breaker.

Fingers on buzzers.

Beginning with the letter T,

what's the name of the popular racquet sport

invented in Tudor times. Sofie?

-Tennis.

-Tennis is the right answer.

Bad luck, boys.

Sofie, help yourself to another Year Sphere.

Wow.

Now, winning the Tudor quiz means that Sofie goes through

to automatically play the Tudor game

but will she be alone or will the others get to play too?

Let's find out.

It's an All Play messy game, so down the Time Sewer, the lot of you.

-Go on, George.

-Bye, Dave.

-Bye.

-Bye, Dave.

-Bye, Sofie.

-It stinks!

-It does.

When Henry VIII was on the throne...

By which, Dave means toilet.

..he liked to have a little help.

It's time to play...

You are the groom of the stool.

When Henry hollers, you'll need to check his poop.

In the meantime, you must brick up the door to the king's bedroom,

so that he can sleep safely.

The first to finish bricking up the doorway wins the Year Sphere.

The game starts in three, two, one...

KLAXON

Off we go, then, with what is surely the most disgusting game

in the history of television.

Only Rattus could make doing a puzzle involve quite so much poo.

Oh, interesting start from George.

He's flying there. No, he's not.

He's knocked it over.

Tyrell, though, is getting that piece.

I like that piece, Rattus.

That is my favourite piece.

-BREAKING WIND

-I'm finished!

Time to inspect the poo.

I hope they've got strong stomachs.

To the poo they go.

That was an awful view of that,

wasn't it, Rattus? Oh, dear.

Rattus, towards the end of his life, Henry became so afraid of assassins

that he would have his bedroom bricked up

at night.

Getting back out in the morning

-must've taken quite a while.

-Yes.

Ow! What the hay?

Hey, Marcus, no likey-bitey.

I'll flick you. I'll flick you.

Oh, hang on a second.

Tyrell is on a winning streak here.

-BREAKING WIND

-I'm finished!

Now, look out. Henry VIII's had another... Oh, how's your father?

Oh, crikey.

That just really is an unpleasant business in all manner of the sense.

An umbrella wouldn't help you there, Dave.

No, it certainly wouldn't but Tyrell is going to do this here.

He's only got two bits to fit in.

Sofie's is still looking a bit crumbly.

That's one of them.

One more piece and I think

he can start celebrating.

Yeah, there it is!

It's there! Well played.

And Tyrell, the revolving, air-punching loon

is groom of the stool.

Well done, everybody. Congratulations, Tyrell.

Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

Commiserations to you two.

It was a hard-fought contest, mind.

Well done, Tyrell.

It's over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.

It's the Savage Stone Age.

Four questions, as always. And here are your four Stone Age topics.

So, George, it's your turn to lead us off. What will you have?

-Can I have Chewing Gum, please?

-You certainly can.

Let's hear that question.

True or false? We cave people had chewing gum.

It's as simple as that. Cave people had chewing gum.

Is that true or is that false? Show me your answers.

They all think it's true. What's the answer?

It true. It is made from the resin of birch tree.

It good for make headache go away.

Ow!

Ow! Me need some now.

A point apiece there. Well played. Very, very good.

And, Tyrell, it's your turn to choose next.

Can I have Dentistry, please?

May we have the question on Dentistry, please?

True or false? Cave people did tooth work on each other.

I'll just translate that for you.

Cave people did dentistry on each other.

Do you think that's true or is that false?

Tyrell has disagreed with the other two.

Extraordinary scenes here.

What's the answer?

It's...true.

Tooth drills made of flint have been found in Italy

that came from 14,000 years ago.

Or as Dave calls it, the other day.

HE EXHALES Congratulations, Sofie and George.

Sofie, it's your turn to pick next.

Can I have Mammoths, please?

You certainly can. Let's have a question on Mammoths.

True or false? Cavemen kill mammoth by chasing them off cliff.

Which roughly translates as

did cavemen kill mammoths by chasing them off cliffs?

Show me now, please.

Oh, we're all agreeing again. That's better.

Let's see the answer. They all think it's false. Is it?

It true!

Cavemen chase mammoth off cliff.

Watch out below!

Excellent. Right, the final topic is Sweden

and it's a question from Rattus Rattus.

True or false? In Stone Age Sweden, rats were treated as equal to man?

In Stone Age Sweden, rats were treated as equal to man.

Is that true or is that false? Let's see.

They're all thinking this is false. Rattus, what's the answer?

What?! It's false. Oh, boo!

Although dogs were treated as equal to man in Stone Age Sweden

and given elaborate funerals.

Congratulations, all of you. Another point scored.

At the end of that round, Sofie and George,

we're entering yet another tie-break situation.

Beginning with the letter S,

name this Stone Age monument located in southern...

Sofie.

Stonehenge.

..located in southern England,

that consists of a ring of standing stones.

You're absolutely correct, Sofie. It's Stonehenge.

Help yourself to another Year Sphere.

Which one is Sofie going to go for?

Is it a good choice or a bad choice?

We may never know...

except at the end of the show.

Yes, we will definitely know at the end of the show, won't we?

OK, Sofie, as the winner of the Stone Age quiz,

you're through to play the Stone Age game

but will you be playing it on your own

or will the others get to join in with you? Let's find out.

Oh, it's a Single Player game.

So, Sofie, off down that Time Sewer on your own.

Ergh, it stinks!

If you lived in the Stone Age, you couldn't be a fussy eater.

Not an option. Your average caveman and woman would eat anything -

-from fresh vegetables...

-Ergh!

..to the contents of a mega bear's stomach.

-Love it!

-It's time to play...

Here is a mega bear.

Everything you need for a tasty meal is inside its stomach.

Put the tasty half-chewed treats by the corresponding cave painting

and do it before the other mega bears come home.

So, ready...go!

KLAXON

Poor old Sofie's got to go charging into his stomach.

Now, what's she going to find? Well, that is a caveman's boot.

-Caveman's boot.

-Yeah. So, that goes in the bin, Rattus.

Where's she going? The bin's not that way.

Oh, no! No, that's not the place, Sofie.

What's happening there? Does she think that horses wear boots?

I can only assume that Sofie thinks

that that is Hoo-uth.

Well, I mean that is not a hoof.

That clearly has room for a heel and a toe

but that is definitely a fish.

She's done very nicely there.

Now, back she goes. She needs to get in up to her elbows here.

-Ergh!

-That's another fish.

Wait, Marcus, just leave it, all right?

You're on holiday.

Enjoy yourself, relax, stay still.

Now, there's the hoof.

What's she going to do with the hoof?

She's surely going to swap that now

-for the boot.

-No! No! No!

She's going for the bin!

Oh! Man alive.

I can't believe that's happened, Rattus.

We have a horse's hoof in the bin

and a caveman's severed foot

where the horse's hoof should be.

Is she going to work out this conundrum?

Is she going to come back from here?

She's found the rat. Look away, Rattus.

-Ohh!

-You don't need to see this.

-Cousin Bertha!

-Yeah.

-30 seconds remaining.

-There's the cabbage.

There's our old friend the cabbage,

going to its correct position

but she's got to realise that that caveman...

She is realising it, Rattus.

The caveman boot is in the basket

but what she hasn't yet realised

is that in that basket underneath the caveman's boot

is the horse's hoof.

And there goes some intestines.

We've just got to rely on her working it out.

Oh, hang on. I think she's worked it out.

And with seconds left,

she strolls to victory.

There it is, the double arm aloft with a micro bounce.

Sofie, welcome back from the mega bear. Tremendous work.

Tremendous work.

Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

Congratulations, Sofie. Excellent work.

Right, Rattus, what are we up to now?

What's the matter with you?

I think you forgot to close the Time Sewer.

-What makes you say that?

-He does.

Grr!

Oh, Rattus, what do I do here?

Grab his hoof.

All right, Cavey! All right, Cavey!

Look, a fiery orb in the sky.

Come on. Look, there's meat, meat. Oh, you like that.

You like the meat. You like the meat. Come on.

Meat, meat, meaty meat. Meaty meat.

Go fetch the meat. Go fetch the meat.

Go fetch the meat.

Go fetch the meat.

Hold on a sec...

My fleas have gone! They've jumped ship!

Well, I guess the caveman's belly button

is even hairier than yours, Dave.

I guess it is, Rattus. Result!

Right, it's time for our big All Play endgame.

So, over to the Gory Grid one last time.

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day!

Vile Victorians. Everybody, get back down that sewer.

Mind the caveman.

Good point.

When Queen Victoria was just a child,

grave robbing was a common crime.

It was. The bodies were sold to surgeons

who used them to find out more about how the human body works.

It's time to play...

Your challenge is to steal three corpses

and get them onto the surgeon's table.

You'll need the key to the cemetery gates.

If you hear this noise... WHISTLE BLOWS

..then you must rush back to the cemetery

and hide from the policeman.

A second whistle means you can go again.

The first person to get all their bodies to the surgeon's table

and grab their dodgy money, is the winner.

Three, two, one...

KLAXON

And they're off.

Now then, the first thing we look for here

is technique. Are they going to pull or push?

We've got two pullers here

and one pusher on the end.

And they're all through.

So, it hasn't made much difference

on this occasion, Rattus.

Time to go wobbling through the topiary

and I tell you what,

it takes a whole lot of upper body strength to control these carts

and to lug around corpses, of course.

Now then, Sofie is through the gate.

That means she is about to deliver her first body.

She's got the body snagged on the key.

Well, you don't often see that.

And there it is, body number one delivered.

Dave, graverobbers were also known as

body snatchers, resurrectionists,

sack 'em up men.

And perhaps most importantly,

-criminals.

-That may be.

There's one for Tyrell but he needs to speed up.

George has been doing just that. He's caught right up with Sofie.

Now, the second body.

It's the drag through from Sofie.

It's the push through...

Oh, he's really wrestling with that corpse's head.

It's a very good job he's dead, Rattus,

because that would smart.

Sofie's got the body across the trolley there sideways

as she goes on her wobbly run. WHISTLE BLOWS

And here comes the policeman.

They've got to get behind the stone. There goes George...

He's knocked the grave over! That has stood there for 350 years.

He's knocked it over as if it was a piece of polystyrene

and now here comes the policeman.

Is he going to notice the bodies strewn across his path?

Or is he just going to wander round with his arms

behind his back enjoying

his own moustache far too much?

I think it's the latter, Rattus.

WHISTLE BLOWS And now our players can get back

to the cadavers. The race is back on

and Tyrell is still dragging his second corpse through the railings.

Further up the field, though, it's very close at this stage.

Sofie's still in the lead here

but George suddenly has a real head of steam.

He's hot on her heels here.

Do you know, Dave, before a big race

I get butterflies in my stomach.

-Really, Rattus?

-Yeah.

I like a little snack before a big race.

They're going for the final corpse, which is hidden in the mist.

This really is close. It's nip and tuck.

Even Tyrell's coming back into it.

Sofie tries to drag her corpse.

George is already through.

He's stolen a march but the corpse has come adrift.

The corpse has come adrift. He's got it back on.

Now, he has to get in amongst the shrubbery.

He's gone in and out. He's in and out quickly.

He's pulled off the last corpse, through the gate.

He's just got to get through the gate, Rattus. He puts it down.

Get the cash, boy! Get the cash!

Get back up the other end and you can celebrate your first Year Sphere

of the competition.

And it's there!

George celebrates by knocking over another ancient gravestone.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

George, you know the way. Well done, fella.

You've proved yourself to be a grave robber of some standing.

-Ever robbed a grave before?

-No.

I'm glad to hear that, George.

Now then, it's time to count up those Year Spheres.

And remember, AD years are added to your total

and BC years are subtracted.

Let's see how we got on.

Tyrell, open up that Year Sphere for me, please.

1503 AD.

Leonardo da Vinci begins painting the Mona Lisa that year.

That's a good score. 1,503 points.

Sofie, you have got to try and beat that.

Let's have a look at the first sphere.

1558 AD.

Queen Elizabeth I ascended the throne.

You're in the lead. Let's have a look at that second one.

Oh, 214 BC.

Work on the Great Wall of China began that year.

Let's have a look at the third one.

1066 AD.

The Battle of Hastings of course was that year.

Now, this last one could be absolutely crucial.

Let's have a look at that fourth one.

Oh, it's 1944 AD.

The Allies invaded German-held Normandy on D-Day that year.

That means, Sofie, you have a total of 4,354.

George, you've only got the one sphere.

You're going to need a date considerably far into the future

to win but let's have a look at it anyway.

1337 AD. The 100 Years' War began

between England and France that year.

That means that leaves you in third place

but today's winner with 4,354 points is Sofie.

Yay!

And what could be a better way to finish the show

than with a fantastic prize?

Well, not this I'm sure, as it's a prize found by Rattus

in the stinky depths of the Time Sewer.

So, have you got a prize?

Aye, aye! Or should I say...eye.

It's a glass eye.

Owned by the son-in-law of Queen Victoria, Prince Christian.

It's all bloodshot, Rattus.

Yeah. Well, he had a whole set, didn't he?

And he used to wear this particular one when he was feeling,

-you know, ill.

-Yeah. Well, I feel ill right now.

-Enjoy your prize, Sofie.

-Thank you.

-I can only apologise for it.

For our two runners-up, it's time for a jink through the stink

as they travel home down the Time Sewer.

Go on, off you go. See you, George.

-Oh, no!

-I know.

-Bye, Tyrell.

-Say hello to Marcus if you see him.

And don't forget, you can play along next time

if you download the Gory Games app from the CBBC website.

I've been Dave Lamb.

And I've been spreading fleas.

Yes, you certainly have.

You've been watching Gory Games.

-Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

# Horrible Histories Gory...Games. #