Episode 1 HH: Gory Games



Similar Content

Browse content similar to Episode 1. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

0:00:020:00:05

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

0:00:050:00:08

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

0:00:080:00:10

# You'd better turn off, this show ain't for you

0:00:100:00:13

# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

0:00:130:00:18

# With Horrible History's Gory Games... #

0:00:180:00:20

Hello, and welcome to Gory Games with me, Dave Lamb.

0:00:240:00:27

And me, Rattus Rattus.

0:00:270:00:29

This is the show where you get to test your knowledge

0:00:290:00:32

of Horrible Histories, with truly gruesome, gory games.

0:00:320:00:36

Yes, so if you're of a nervous disposition,

0:00:360:00:38

a bit squeamish or easily shocked, then this show is not for you.

0:00:380:00:42

Right, that should got rid of the parents. On with the programme.

0:00:420:00:45

Yes, let's meet today's Horrible Historians.

0:00:450:00:48

Hi, I'm Lukas.

0:00:480:00:49

Hi, I'm Zoe.

0:00:490:00:51

Hi, I'm TJ.

0:00:510:00:52

Right, just to get us in the mood,

0:00:520:00:54

I've prepared a little warm-up game from the Georgian era.

0:00:540:00:58

-Rattus, tell me this isn't another one of your hare-brained ideas.

-No.

0:00:580:01:02

It's a genuine Georgian game

0:01:020:01:04

from the Highland Games of the 1820s. It's called Twisting the Cow.

0:01:040:01:09

-Twisting the Cow?!

-Mm.

0:01:090:01:11

In front of our four players is a cow carcass.

0:01:110:01:15

All they have to do is twist its legs off.

0:01:150:01:17

Er, sorry, our contestants can't do that.

0:01:170:01:20

Course they can.

0:01:200:01:21

The cow carcass is really rotten, so the legs will practically drop off.

0:01:210:01:25

No, what I mean is they can't do that because it's disgusting.

0:01:250:01:28

Sorry, Big Tony, can you help me get this out of here, please?

0:01:280:01:31

I'm not having this.

0:01:310:01:33

FLESH TEARING

0:01:330:01:34

-We have a winner!

-Ooh.

0:01:340:01:37

Right, I'm going to need a new shirt, and when I get back

0:01:370:01:40

I do not want to see this useless carcass.

0:01:400:01:43

Or a dead cow.

0:01:430:01:44

Lukas, Zoe and TJ, you are playing to win Year Spheres.

0:01:480:01:53

Each Year Sphere contains a date. At the end of the show,

0:01:530:01:56

your Year Sphere dates will be added up,

0:01:560:01:58

with AD dates being added to your total

0:01:580:02:01

and BC dates being subtracted from it.

0:02:010:02:04

If these were your Year Spheres, your total would be...

0:02:040:02:07

-Rattus?

-Er, four?

0:02:070:02:09

Oh, dear. It's 735, actually. Did you even go to school?

0:02:090:02:13

I lived in a sewer near a school, if that counts.

0:02:130:02:16

-It counts better than you do.

-Oi!

0:02:160:02:18

At the end of the show, the person with the highest year score

0:02:180:02:22

will win a prize to take home and keep.

0:02:220:02:24

One picked out by my fair paws.

0:02:240:02:27

So it's probably one to take home and throw away.

0:02:270:02:29

Right, let's get cracking, and, to find out what this round's about,

0:02:290:02:33

it's over to the Gory Grid.

0:02:330:02:35

It's the Rotten Romans.

0:02:350:02:38

So, four questions on the Rotten Romans coming up.

0:02:380:02:42

The person who gets the most right wins the Year Sphere.

0:02:420:02:46

Your four Roman topics are...

0:02:460:02:49

Lukas, please pick away.

0:02:530:02:55

Er, I pick...Emperors.

0:02:550:02:59

True or false?

0:02:590:03:01

Emperor Domitian was so scared of being stabbed in the back,

0:03:010:03:05

he stood with his back against the wall, all day long.

0:03:050:03:08

So, true or false?

0:03:080:03:09

Let's have a look at those answers.

0:03:090:03:11

Everybody has gone for true.

0:03:110:03:14

Let's find out if you're all right or all wrong.

0:03:140:03:17

It's false.

0:03:170:03:18

But he did have the walls of his palace polished like mirrors,

0:03:180:03:22

so he could see behind him.

0:03:220:03:24

That's no points so far. Plenty of time to catch up.

0:03:240:03:27

-Ever worried someone's after your job?

-Not likely.

0:03:270:03:29

They'd have to work with you, Rattus.

0:03:290:03:32

-Zoe, it's your turn to pick a topic.

-I pick Luck.

0:03:320:03:35

True or false, we Roman ladies believed it was good luck

0:03:370:03:41

to comb our hair with the spear of a dead gladiator.

0:03:410:03:44

Show me your answers, everyone.

0:03:440:03:47

Everyone's gone for true again.

0:03:470:03:50

They agreed last time and were wrong. And this time?

0:03:500:03:53

It's true. Though it wasn't such good luck for the gladiator.

0:03:530:03:57

No, absolutely not. Excellent. We're all off the mark.

0:03:570:04:00

TJ, it's your turn to pick a topic.

0:04:000:04:03

Executions.

0:04:030:04:05

Is this true or false?

0:04:050:04:08

Let's have a look at those answers.

0:04:160:04:18

Everybody's gone for true again.

0:04:200:04:23

I can tell you...

0:04:230:04:25

it's true, the wasps would sting him to death.

0:04:250:04:29

-Please do not try this at home.

-Not even with your PE teacher.

0:04:290:04:33

Not even with him.

0:04:330:04:34

Look at that. Two points apiece with one topic left to go.

0:04:340:04:39

The last topic is Parents, and that is a question from Rattus Rattus.

0:04:390:04:43

If a Roman child angered their father,

0:04:430:04:47

then the father could sell them off as a slave.

0:04:470:04:50

Is that true or false?

0:04:500:04:52

-Oh!

-They've all gone for true.

0:04:530:04:56

Three true answers again.

0:04:560:04:58

Rattus, put us out of our misery. Are they right or wrong?

0:04:580:05:01

It's true.

0:05:010:05:02

And if they were really angry, the father could have the child executed!

0:05:020:05:07

So next time you're badly behaved, be glad your parents aren't Roman.

0:05:070:05:10

OK, well, you've drawn, seeing as you've agreed on everything.

0:05:100:05:15

Three points apiece. That means we go to the buzzer tie-breaker.

0:05:150:05:19

First one to buzz in and give me the correct answer wins the Year Sphere.

0:05:190:05:23

Beginning with the letter G,

0:05:230:05:26

what name was given to specially trained warriors

0:05:260:05:28

who fought in the Colosseum?

0:05:280:05:30

-TOILET FLUSHING

-TJ.

-Gladiator.

0:05:300:05:32

Gladiator is absolutely right. TJ, you've won the quiz.

0:05:320:05:36

It's time to choose your Year Sphere from our trolley wally.

0:05:360:05:39

All right, TJ? Pick your Year Sphere.

0:05:410:05:43

Nobody knows which one contains which date, but be warned,

0:05:430:05:46

one could be a Stone Age date, worth millions of minus points.

0:05:460:05:50

Are you sure that's the one you want?

0:05:500:05:52

-Yeah.

-OK, I'm off. Push, push, push...

0:05:520:05:55

So, winning the quiz means that TJ is automatically through to play

0:05:550:05:58

the Roman game, but will he be alone or will everyone get to play?

0:05:580:06:02

Let's find out.

0:06:020:06:04

It's an All Play Gory Game.

0:06:070:06:10

So that means it's off down the time sewer with the lot of you.

0:06:100:06:14

Go on, TJ, lead the way.

0:06:140:06:16

-See you, Dave.

-Bye. See you, Zoe.

-Bye.

0:06:160:06:20

-See ya!

-See you, Lukas.

0:06:200:06:22

The Roman Empire didn't get so big without the Romans being ruthless.

0:06:220:06:26

It's time to play...

0:06:260:06:28

When attacking an enemy fortress, Roman armies would use catapults

0:06:310:06:34

to lob in rocks, beehives and - wait for it -

0:06:340:06:37

the severed heads of any defenders they'd captured.

0:06:370:06:41

Fire as many missiles into your fortress target as possible.

0:06:410:06:44

Ready, steady...

0:06:440:06:46

-HORN BLARING

-So, it's Savage Siege.

0:06:460:06:48

What they have to do is catapult different objects into the basket.

0:06:480:06:51

-There's a head on the way now.

-Oh! TJ's got one in straight away.

0:06:510:06:55

A decapitated head has been flicked into a basket,

0:06:550:06:58

and that's a cause for celebration.

0:06:580:06:59

They've got lots of different objects.

0:06:590:07:02

There's Lukas loading a rock.

0:07:020:07:04

A beehive, which he's going to attempt to fling in, TJ.

0:07:040:07:07

That's fallen short, but he's got a head in.

0:07:070:07:09

So he's in the lead by a HEAD, Rattus!

0:07:090:07:11

-Ha-ha, quite literally, Dave.

-Absolutely. By two heads!

0:07:110:07:15

There's a second head, landing nicely.

0:07:150:07:18

Well, it's an excellent start from TJ.

0:07:180:07:21

It's a decent start from Lukas, he's landed one there in his net.

0:07:210:07:24

Here, he lines up a head.

0:07:240:07:25

Oh, that scores two. They're neck and neck, well, head and head.

0:07:250:07:28

Now, Zoe, that's a better effort. She's put that into TJ's basket!

0:07:280:07:32

-Oh no!

-Oh, well, that won't count, Rattus, and why should it?

0:07:320:07:37

You know it wasn't him who put it in there.

0:07:370:07:39

And TJ's putting plenty in there himself, isn't he?

0:07:390:07:42

He's forged ahead of Lukas, who's dropped back dramatically.

0:07:420:07:45

-TJ's on the point of mastering this, isn't he, Rattus?

-He is, Dave.

0:07:450:07:49

The skill to this game appears to me to be your pull on the catapult

0:07:490:07:52

in relation to the weight of the object being catapulted,

0:07:520:07:56

with the stones weighing twice as much as the head

0:07:560:07:58

and the beehive being variable, depending on the number of bees.

0:07:580:08:02

Superb analysis, that, Rattus.

0:08:020:08:05

That's years of experience coming from Rattus.

0:08:050:08:07

Ooh, one bouncing out from TJ.

0:08:070:08:09

-One miles over the top from Lukas. Extraordinary.

-BELL CHIMES

0:08:090:08:12

-There's the bell.

-30 second remaining.

0:08:120:08:15

30 seconds, the disembodied voice agrees with me.

0:08:150:08:17

Is this the beginning of a comeback for Lukas? There's one for Zoe.

0:08:170:08:21

Finally she lands one, and TJ re-establishes his lead.

0:08:210:08:24

Clear blue water for TJ. Another one for TJ. Extraordinary effort!

0:08:240:08:28

Zoe pops another one in his basket. That won't count either.

0:08:280:08:31

Lukas suddenly finds himself miles behind. TJ, eight points scored now.

0:08:310:08:35

An extraordinary effort. What an aim this man has. Nine stones!

0:08:350:08:40

-Extraordinary scenes here.

-HORN BLARING

0:08:400:08:43

Time's up!

0:08:430:08:44

-It's all over.

-It's all over.

-It's all over.

0:08:440:08:47

The savage siege is at an end.

0:08:470:08:48

The heads, the rocks and the hives fall silent.

0:08:480:08:52

And TJ is king of catapults.

0:08:520:08:53

That was tremendously exciting, but way out in front was TJ.

0:08:530:08:57

Please collect your Year Sphere.

0:08:570:09:00

You were absolutely brilliant at that.

0:09:000:09:03

And, Zoe, TJ was doing well enough on his own without your help.

0:09:030:09:07

What happened there?

0:09:070:09:08

I don't know, I think my aim was off.

0:09:080:09:10

And Lukas, you started off with an absolute rocket, didn't you?

0:09:100:09:13

-Yeah, but...

-It was good.

-It just went wrong.

-It went wrong?

0:09:130:09:16

Are you blaming your equipment?

0:09:160:09:18

-Yes.

-Good, it's the equipment's fault.

0:09:180:09:21

So, to find out what's next, it's over to the Gory Grid.

0:09:210:09:23

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day!

0:09:230:09:27

Ah, so four questions again,

0:09:270:09:29

and here are your all-important Victorian topics.

0:09:290:09:32

-Zoe, it's your turn to pick first this time.

-Schools.

0:09:370:09:41

How were you punished in a Victorian school

0:09:410:09:45

if you left ink blots and finger marks on your work?

0:09:450:09:48

So, is it A, B or C? Let's have a look at those answers.

0:09:540:09:58

Everybody has gone with A.

0:09:590:10:01

Well, let's find out if they're all right or all wrong.

0:10:010:10:04

The answer is A, you were caned.

0:10:040:10:07

Usually with an especially thin cane, because they hurt more.

0:10:070:10:10

You weren't put to death, even Victorian schools weren't that bad.

0:10:100:10:13

Thankfully, they weren't that bad.

0:10:130:10:15

TJ, it's your turn to pick a topic.

0:10:150:10:18

Um...

0:10:180:10:19

Gadgets.

0:10:190:10:21

Prop question, prop question!

0:10:210:10:24

This is a genuine Victorian gadget,

0:10:240:10:27

but what was it for? Was it...

0:10:270:10:30

A, a backside protector for schoolboys when they were caned?

0:10:300:10:33

RATTUS CACKLES

0:10:330:10:34

He loves all that stuff.

0:10:340:10:36

Was it B, a belly warmer for coach drivers?

0:10:360:10:39

RATTUS CACKLES

0:10:390:10:41

Bums and tums, loves them both.

0:10:410:10:43

Or was it C, a headache cure?

0:10:430:10:46

So, show me now.

0:10:460:10:48

And at last, they have disagreed on something.

0:10:500:10:53

The actual correct answer is...

0:10:530:10:56

B.

0:10:560:10:57

It was a belly warmer for coach drivers,

0:10:570:11:00

so Lukas picks up the point.

0:11:000:11:03

Do you know the best way to keep your belly warm?

0:11:030:11:05

-What's that?

-Plenty of fur.

0:11:050:11:08

Not something we can all do.

0:11:080:11:09

Lukas, it's your turn to pick a topic.

0:11:090:11:12

-Crimean War.

-Crimean War?

0:11:120:11:15

Rattus, in your own time.

0:11:150:11:17

Which of these items of clothing

0:11:170:11:19

does not take its name from the Crimean War?

0:11:190:11:22

OK, let's see your answers now, please.

0:11:300:11:33

Zoe and TJ agreeing on B, Lukas out on his own again on C.

0:11:350:11:39

Rattus, which is it?

0:11:390:11:42

The answer is...

0:11:420:11:44

B, the Wellington boot.

0:11:440:11:47

Named after the Duke of Wellington, famous from the Battle of Waterloo.

0:11:470:11:51

And that wasn't part of the Crimean war.

0:11:510:11:54

The cardigan was invented by the Crimean officer Lord Cardigan,

0:11:540:11:58

and the balaclava was named after

0:11:580:12:01

the famous Crimean battle of Balaklava.

0:12:010:12:04

Oh, I've just come over all brainy again!

0:12:040:12:07

THUD!

0:12:070:12:08

At last, a bit of peace and quiet.

0:12:080:12:10

-I'm up again!

-Couldn't last.

0:12:100:12:12

Never mind. Everyone on two points, excellent.

0:12:120:12:15

Last question this round is on Parlour Maids, and here it comes.

0:12:150:12:20

A parlour maid in a posh Victorian house had to work long days,

0:12:200:12:24

but just how long were their days?

0:12:240:12:26

So, a parlour maid had to work very long hours, but just how long?

0:12:320:12:37

Let's see your answers now, please.

0:12:370:12:40

Well, Lukas an Zoe agreeing on C, TJ striking out on his own on B.

0:12:400:12:44

The answer is C.

0:12:440:12:47

Maids worked 16 hours a day from 6.30am till 10.30pm.

0:12:470:12:51

But they did get paid nearly £6.

0:12:510:12:54

That's a year, obviously, not per hour.

0:12:540:12:56

I'd have done it for that.

0:12:560:12:58

Lukas and Zoe, it's fingers-on-buzzers time,

0:12:580:13:01

to decide the fate of the Year Sphere.

0:13:010:13:04

Beginning with the letter S, what did all children have to attend...

0:13:040:13:08

SNEEZING

0:13:080:13:09

-Lukas.

-School.

0:13:090:13:11

School is correct. Well done, Lukas.

0:13:110:13:13

You've just won your first Year Sphere.

0:13:130:13:15

As the quiz winner, you're also through to play the Victorian game,

0:13:170:13:20

but will it be just you or will the others get to play too?

0:13:200:13:23

Let's find out.

0:13:230:13:25

It's a Single Play Brainy Game, so I hope your brain's feeling ready.

0:13:280:13:32

Lukas, get yourself down that Time Sewer.

0:13:320:13:36

LUKAS GRUNTS

0:13:360:13:38

Isambard Kingdom Brunel - designer, engineer, visionary

0:13:400:13:45

and rubbish magician.

0:13:450:13:47

Yes, back in 1843, one of the Victorian age's greatest minds

0:13:470:13:51

got a coin stuck in his throat while doing a magic trick.

0:13:510:13:54

He eventually managed to dislodge it using a clever device.

0:13:540:13:57

It's time to play...

0:13:570:13:58

Your challenge it to work out which cog goes where.

0:14:000:14:04

Once they're in the right place,

0:14:040:14:05

you can turn the wheel to flip Brunel upside down

0:14:050:14:07

to dislodge the coin and win your Year Sphere.

0:14:070:14:10

But be quick - you're against the clock, which is starting to tick...

0:14:100:14:13

now!

0:14:130:14:16

HORN BLARES

0:14:160:14:17

So, Lukas is underway on this Barmy Brunel challenge.

0:14:170:14:21

He's got a very small one in his hand.

0:14:210:14:23

Well, that's not going to go in there.

0:14:230:14:25

I can't imagine he'll leave it there. Oh, he left it there.

0:14:250:14:28

I'm not entirely sure he understands the principle of cog mechanisms.

0:14:280:14:32

Yes, I don't think you'll get Brunel moving very far

0:14:320:14:35

with that tiny little fella lying next to the main crank cog.

0:14:350:14:39

There's Brunel, lying there.

0:14:390:14:40

He's not going to be doing anything, I don't think.

0:14:400:14:43

Dave, I have to say, "a technological marvel"

0:14:430:14:46

is just one of the phrases that does not describe this machine.

0:14:460:14:49

Have to agree with you at the moment.

0:14:490:14:51

Mind you, having said that, once the cogs are in the right place,

0:14:510:14:56

it definitely does work.

0:14:560:14:57

The trouble is,

0:14:570:14:59

Lukas doesn't seem to understand the basic principles here.

0:14:590:15:02

That's not touching anything. That's not going anywhere.

0:15:020:15:06

It's looking grim for Barmy Brunel.

0:15:060:15:08

Yep.

0:15:080:15:11

No...that's not going to work.

0:15:110:15:13

DAVE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:15:130:15:14

DAVE SIGHS

0:15:140:15:16

Rattus, pass me that letter.

0:15:160:15:19

Maybe now's a good time to mention,

0:15:190:15:21

we've had a lovely cake sent in, Rattus,

0:15:210:15:23

by a Mrs Jones of East Grinstead.

0:15:230:15:26

It's a strawberry cake and we're delighted to receive it,

0:15:260:15:29

so thank you, Mrs Jones. We'll have that with a cup of tea later.

0:15:290:15:32

-Was that the one with blue icing?

-It was.

0:15:320:15:34

I just found that a bit odd.

0:15:340:15:36

-What do you mean? Have you eaten it?

-Mm.

0:15:360:15:38

That's a shame. I was looking forward to that.

0:15:380:15:40

30 seconds remaining.

0:15:400:15:43

So just 30 cake-free seconds remaining now. Thank you, Rattus(!)

0:15:430:15:47

And it's not happening for poor old Lukas.

0:15:470:15:50

It's very different, though, isn't it, Rattus,

0:15:500:15:53

when you're there, under the lights, the pressure of the moment's on you.

0:15:530:15:58

It's all very well sitting up here and, er...seeing how it works

0:15:580:16:01

-but if you're down there it's a different story.

-Quite right, Dave.

0:16:010:16:05

It's just not going to work out for him here,

0:16:050:16:07

-I think he's running out of time now.

-Time's up!

0:16:070:16:09

And he has...run out of time, so poor Barmy Brunel

0:16:090:16:14

is going to have to choke to death and it's all Lukas's fault.

0:16:140:16:17

Not really.

0:16:170:16:18

Welcome back, Lukas. Take your place behind the podium.

0:16:200:16:23

No Year Sphere, I'm afraid.

0:16:230:16:25

Brunel designed all sorts of amazing things,

0:16:250:16:27

including what was - at the time -

0:16:270:16:29

the biggest ship in the entire world,

0:16:290:16:32

the SS Great Eastern.

0:16:320:16:34

Sadly, when the ship was launched,

0:16:340:16:36

the engine room exploded, killing six people.

0:16:360:16:38

The horror of the explosion gave Brunel heart problems and he died.

0:16:380:16:42

-That's not funny at all!

-I know, we should probably move on.

0:16:420:16:46

Over to the Gory Grid to find out who's up next.

0:16:460:16:49

It's the Terrible Tudors.

0:16:490:16:51

Four questions as always and here are your four Tudor topics.

0:16:510:16:55

-TJ, it's your turn to lead off.

-Executions.

0:17:000:17:02

Executions.

0:17:020:17:03

How many executions was I responsible for in my lifetime?

0:17:030:17:08

Was it...

0:17:080:17:09

It is A, B or C? Show me now.

0:17:160:17:19

Interesting.

0:17:200:17:21

The answer is...

0:17:210:17:23

Which, coincidentally, is roughly my daily intake of calories.

0:17:260:17:30

-HE FARTS

-Oh.

0:17:300:17:31

Revolting.

0:17:310:17:33

So, TJ, what a start.

0:17:330:17:34

1-0 up.

0:17:340:17:36

Lukas, it's your turn to pick a topic.

0:17:360:17:38

Er, Jobs.

0:17:380:17:40

What did my Groom of the Stool have to do?

0:17:400:17:45

A, look after all my royal furniture?

0:17:450:17:48

B, wipe my bottom?

0:17:480:17:50

Or, C, help me up on to my horse?

0:17:500:17:54

Let's have a look at those answers.

0:17:540:17:56

So Lukas and TJ agreeing on B. Zoe going out on her own with C.

0:17:560:18:00

The answer is B. He had to wipe my bottom.

0:18:000:18:04

Which was a busy job, given how much I like to eat.

0:18:040:18:07

HE FARTS

0:18:070:18:08

Oh!

0:18:080:18:09

It sounds dreadful, but Groom of the Stool was a sought-after position,

0:18:090:18:13

because it meant that you were close to the king.

0:18:130:18:16

But much too close!

0:18:160:18:17

HE LAUGHS

0:18:170:18:19

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:18:190:18:20

In many cases, much too close.

0:18:200:18:22

Zoe, pick a topic.

0:18:240:18:26

Erm, Cures.

0:18:260:18:27

Hope you're feeling brainy. Here's my question...

0:18:270:18:31

A, swallowing powdered human skull?

0:18:340:18:37

B, licking a live toad?

0:18:370:18:40

Or, C, eating minced rat brains?

0:18:400:18:43

Zoe and TJ going for A, Lukas out on his own with C.

0:18:450:18:50

The answer is...

0:18:500:18:52

A, swallowing powdered human skull.

0:18:520:18:55

Hope you got it right!

0:18:550:18:57

Wow.

0:18:570:18:58

How they worked out that swallowing powdered human skull

0:18:580:19:01

would make you feel LESS sick, I have no idea.

0:19:010:19:04

OK. TJ has an unassailable lead. He's 3-1-1 up.

0:19:040:19:09

Collect yourself a Year Sphere, TJ.

0:19:090:19:11

So, TJ, you are through to play the Tudor game

0:19:130:19:17

but will it be All Play or will it be you playing all on your own?

0:19:170:19:21

Let's find out.

0:19:210:19:22

It's an All Play Brainy Game.

0:19:260:19:29

Well, it's time for you all to clear off down the Time Sewer.

0:19:290:19:32

Lead the way, TJ.

0:19:320:19:34

-Bye, Dave.

-Bye, TJ. I love the way you say goodbye to me every time.

0:19:340:19:37

-Bye, Dave!

-Goodbye, Zoe!

0:19:370:19:39

Elizabeth I liked to look good.

0:19:390:19:41

Only problem was, she didn't look good.

0:19:410:19:44

Her skin had been trashed by smallpox and lead-based make-up,

0:19:440:19:47

so she preferred to have portraits of her younger self copied

0:19:470:19:50

rather than have artists paint how she really looked.

0:19:500:19:53

It's time to play...

0:19:530:19:55

You have to assemble two perfect copies of an Elizabeth portrait.

0:19:580:20:02

The problem is your two puzzles are made from differently shaped pieces.

0:20:020:20:06

Fiendish!

0:20:060:20:07

Complete your puzzles quicker than the others to win the Year Sphere.

0:20:070:20:12

In 3...2...1...

0:20:120:20:15

HORN BLARES

0:20:150:20:17

And they're off.

0:20:170:20:19

They've got to build two identical portraits of Queen Elizabeth here

0:20:190:20:23

but the pieces for the two pictures are cut in different ways,

0:20:230:20:28

so it's a real problem for the mind, this one.

0:20:280:20:31

A real problem for the mind.

0:20:310:20:33

Zoe making an easy start. Lovely.

0:20:330:20:35

It's a considered start there, Dave, isn't it?

0:20:350:20:38

It really is. It really is.

0:20:380:20:41

TJ there has a first piece in place. It's a big piece.

0:20:410:20:43

He's gone for the centre of the picture, her fizzog.

0:20:430:20:46

It's a lovely technique, that, to get those big pieces down early.

0:20:460:20:50

I have to say, Zoe seems to be doing extraordinarily well, Rattus.

0:20:500:20:56

She is, she's storming ahead here.

0:20:560:20:59

Come on, boys!

0:20:590:21:01

I could've painted a portrait quicker than this!

0:21:010:21:04

Granted, it would have been a bit rubbish.

0:21:040:21:07

Come on, Zoe. Come on, Zoe!

0:21:070:21:09

She's doing extremely well here. Look at this.

0:21:090:21:12

I can see the queen's head twice, there, and I haven't been drinking.

0:21:120:21:16

That is a tremendous effort.

0:21:160:21:17

Look at this, she's absolutely steaming along here.

0:21:170:21:22

Come on, Zoe!

0:21:220:21:23

I don't think the boys have actually seen how fast Zoe's doing here.

0:21:230:21:27

They're almost napping!

0:21:270:21:29

Yeah, I can see an awful lot of empty, yellow space there

0:21:290:21:32

and quite a lot of green space as well, whereas Zoe is there.

0:21:320:21:35

She's actually done it!

0:21:350:21:37

Well, congratulations, Zoe. That is fantastic.

0:21:370:21:41

Welcome back. Zoe, collect your Year Sphere.

0:21:420:21:45

-I hope it's a good one!

-I'm not very good at puzzles.

0:21:470:21:50

Not bad at mazes though, from my years as a lab rat,

0:21:500:21:53

when they tested intelligence-improving drugs on me.

0:21:530:21:56

-The drugs didn't work, then?

-No.

-No.

0:21:560:21:58

Time for the final round.

0:21:580:22:00

Over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out what we've got.

0:22:000:22:03

It's the Vicious Vikings.

0:22:030:22:06

No quiz in our final round,

0:22:060:22:08

it's straight to our big All Play Viking Endgame.

0:22:080:22:11

And it's a scary one!

0:22:110:22:14

Everyone, get back down that Time Sewer, now!

0:22:140:22:17

-Bye, Dave!

-Bye, TJ!

0:22:170:22:19

-Bye, Dave!

-Bye!

0:22:190:22:21

It's 793 AD and the peaceful tranquillity

0:22:230:22:28

of the island monastery of Lindisfarne

0:22:280:22:30

is about to come to an end.

0:22:300:22:31

And how! It's time to play...

0:22:310:22:33

You are defenceless monks.

0:22:360:22:40

Your only hope of survival is the Vikings won't find you.

0:22:400:22:42

Every time you step on a sinking, squeaking wooden panel,

0:22:420:22:45

you'll be sent back to the start.

0:22:450:22:47

Reach the end of the path and you're faced with two doors.

0:22:470:22:51

Behind one is freedom.

0:22:510:22:53

Behind the other is...

0:22:530:22:54

Hrrargh!

0:22:540:22:55

..a Viking.

0:22:550:22:56

Find him and you have to start all over again.

0:22:560:22:59

First person to escape wins the Year Sphere. Ready...

0:22:590:23:02

steady...

0:23:020:23:03

HORN BLARES

0:23:030:23:04

So here we go then, with Viking Attack.

0:23:040:23:07

And they all got it wrong straight away.

0:23:070:23:09

Extremely wrong, there. Everyone back to the start!

0:23:090:23:12

Completely wrong-footed themselves, literally.

0:23:120:23:15

They literally did exactly that. Look at that monk in the background.

0:23:150:23:18

Oh, ho! He was sinister. They're not sinister, though,

0:23:180:23:21

they're peace-loving people. I don't know why we fear them. There's one!

0:23:210:23:25

Anyway, back to the game. It's a very, very cagey game, this.

0:23:250:23:30

I've not seen anyone patent the "dab" technique yet,

0:23:300:23:34

which I think we'd have to outlaw, where you dab your foot down

0:23:340:23:37

at the panel that's in front of you, just to see if it's going to move.

0:23:370:23:40

Sensibly, they haven't tried that.

0:23:400:23:43

But look at Lukas, he seems to be doing well here.

0:23:430:23:45

He's made it well over halfway already.

0:23:450:23:48

There he is... Oh! You see it go down there.

0:23:480:23:50

That's what happens -

0:23:500:23:52

the panel depresses, it gives a squeak and you're back to the start.

0:23:520:23:55

PANEL SQUEAKS

0:23:550:23:56

This is squeakier than the Bi-annual Mouse Gorgonzola Cheese Festival!

0:23:560:24:00

And that was squeaky.

0:24:020:24:03

It's an absolute squeak-fest, that event.

0:24:030:24:05

I've been to it many times.

0:24:050:24:06

I think one of the difficulties with this game, Dave,

0:24:060:24:10

is you hear the other boards squeaking as well as your own,

0:24:100:24:14

which makes it quite tricky.

0:24:140:24:15

The giveaway is your foot will sink down if it's you.

0:24:150:24:19

-That's absolutely right.

-So...Lukas is back up there.

0:24:190:24:22

I think he's going all the way here.

0:24:220:24:24

I don't want to get overexcited but one more step and he's done it.

0:24:240:24:27

-Come on!

-It's a solid step! Now, he's got the 50-50 choice.

0:24:270:24:30

Is it freedom or is it miserable death?

0:24:300:24:33

-It's freedom!

-Freedom!

0:24:330:24:35

And there's the dance. And why wouldn't he dance?

0:24:350:24:38

He's just had his life saved!

0:24:380:24:40

Welcome back. Lukas, help yourself to a Year Sphere.

0:24:400:24:45

Time to count up those Year Spheres, and remember,

0:24:450:24:48

AD years are added to your total and BC years are subtracted from it.

0:24:480:24:54

So despite the fact that there's an imbalance in Sphere numbers,

0:24:540:24:57

anyone can still win at this stage.

0:24:570:25:00

Lukas, we'll start with you. Show me your first Sphere, please.

0:25:000:25:04

1918 AD.

0:25:040:25:07

The end of the First World War.

0:25:070:25:09

Let's have a look at your second one.

0:25:090:25:11

1805 AD.

0:25:110:25:15

The Battle of Trafalgar was that year. That's a total of 3,723.

0:25:150:25:20

That is an excellent target.

0:25:200:25:22

Now, Zoe, seeing as we're only up to the year 2011,

0:25:220:25:26

this could be a problem for you. Let's look at what you've got.

0:25:260:25:29

Oh, it was 1788 AD, the first European settlement in Australia.

0:25:290:25:35

TJ, it's all down to you. 3,723 to beat. Can you do it?

0:25:350:25:40

Let's have a look at your first Sphere.

0:25:400:25:42

1199 AD, the death of Richard the Lionheart.

0:25:430:25:48

You're up and running. Let's look at the second.

0:25:480:25:50

1415 AD. Henry V beat the French at Agincourt.

0:25:520:25:56

You need 1,110 to win.

0:25:560:26:00

Let's have a look at that final Sphere.

0:26:000:26:03

1840 AD!

0:26:030:26:06

Queen Victoria married Prince Albert.

0:26:060:26:08

And that means that today's winner, with 4,454 points, is TJ,

0:26:080:26:13

who gets to take home the incredibly rare star prize.

0:26:130:26:17

"Incredibly rare" in that it's incredibly hard to find prizes

0:26:170:26:20

as bad as the ones Rattus comes up with.

0:26:200:26:23

Come on, Rattus, what's today's epic disappointment?

0:26:230:26:26

Well, for your information, this prize is actually a beautiful ring,

0:26:260:26:31

dating back to the 17th Century.

0:26:310:26:33

-That actually does sound pretty good.

-Unfortunately...

0:26:330:26:38

this ring belonged to a victim of the famous pirate Blackbeard

0:26:380:26:41

and as the ring didn't slip easily off the finger,

0:26:410:26:44

Blackbeard did what any self-respecting pirate would do.

0:26:440:26:49

He cut the whole finger off!

0:26:490:26:51

RATTUS CACKLES

0:26:510:26:53

-Rattus, you have surpassed yourself.

-Ooh, thank you!

0:26:530:26:56

Not a compliment.

0:26:560:26:57

-Well, congratulations to TJ!

-Yes.

0:26:570:27:01

There you go, TJ. Congratulations.

0:27:010:27:03

You may want to put it somewhere you can't see it.

0:27:030:27:05

Well, it just remains for me to say thanks to our champion, TJ,

0:27:050:27:09

and thanks also to our gallant runners-up, Zoe and Lukas.

0:27:090:27:14

And no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

0:27:140:27:16

Your growing frustration is thanks enough, Dave.

0:27:160:27:20

You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye!

0:27:200:27:22

# Was that show messy enough for you?

0:27:240:27:27

# Or would you have preferred a little more poo?

0:27:270:27:29

# Have you had your fill of blood, guts and gore?

0:27:290:27:32

# Or have we left you still wanting more?

0:27:320:27:35

# Well, keep watching

0:27:350:27:37

# We'll be back again

0:27:370:27:39

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

0:27:390:27:42

# Horrible Histories Gory...

0:27:420:27:45

# Games! #

0:27:450:27:46

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS