Episode 1 HH: Gory Games


Episode 1

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# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

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# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

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# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

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# You'd better turn off, this show ain't for you

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# Still watching?

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# Then let's test your brains

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# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

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# Horrible histories Gory Games. #

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Hello and welcome to Gory Games with me, Dave Lamb.

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And me, Rattus Rattus, the rat so great they named him twice.

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-Yeah. I don't think that's why you were named twice.

-You're jealous.

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Of your repetitive name? Don't be ridiculous.

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You are SOOOOO jealous.

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No, I'm not jealous at all.

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SOOOOOOO jealous!

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I'm not jealous all right and now you've ruined the start of the show

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so we're going to have to do it all over again, Rattus.

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Hello and welcome to Gory Games with Rattus Rattus and me,

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Dave Dave Lamb Lamb!

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-Oi!

-Shut up!

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A man so great they named me twice.

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This is the show where you test your knowledge of Horrible Histories

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by taking part in the goriest games known to man or, indeed, to rat.

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Right then. Let's meet today's Horrible Historians.

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-I'm Nehaal.

-I'm George.

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-It's Lydia.

-Excellent.

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-Dave.

-What?

-Dave.

-What?

-Dave.

-WHAT?

-Dave.

-Hm.

-Barbara.

-Barbara?!

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-Dave.

-What?

-Time to get this show on the road with a little warm up game

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all of my very own.

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-Yeah, sorry, we haven't discussed this, have we?

-No need to, Dave.

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I know exactly what I'm doing.

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It's time to play Greased Goose Grab.

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Bring on the goose!

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DRUM ROLL

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Greased Goose?

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Chillax!

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This is a traditional game from the Georgian era

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which was very popular at fairs.

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-Oh.

-A goose was hung by its feet from a tree

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and riders galloped underneath trying to pull its head off.

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-Pull it's head off?!

-Don't worry.

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The grease makes it really hard to do.

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No, no way. Time out all right, everyone.

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You might get away with that in Georgian Britain, Rattus,

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but we are not doing it today.

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Let's just get this goose down. I'll do it myself if I have to.

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Oh! For heaven's sake, I'm covered in grease now.

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-You see, it's hard isn't it?

-Oh, I'm going to need a towel here.

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And can someone please get rid of that goose and the rat?

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Ooooh!

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Right. Nehaal, George, Lydia you are playing to win Year Spheres.

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Each Year Sphere contains a historical date and at the end

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of the show your Year Sphere dates will be added together with AD dates

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being ADded to your total, and BC dates being suBtraCted from it.

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So, if these were your Year Spheres your total would be, Rattus?

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-Er, to how many decimal places?

-Whole numbers will be fine.

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Gotcha. Er, 7.492.

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-I give up with you. It's 735.

-Like I said.

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At the end of the show, the person with the highest year score

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will win a brilliant historical prize.

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One that I picked out myself.

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And, believe me, it really is amazing

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that anyone could think that it's a decent prize.

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So mean, so mean.

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Right, let's get cracking

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and to find out what this round's about it's over to the Gory Grid.

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It's the Frightful First World War.

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Four questions on the Frightful First World War coming up

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and your four First World War topics are...

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Nehaal, it's your turn to pick first in this round. What will it be?

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German inventions, please.

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German inventions. Let's hear that question.

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On January 15th, 1915, what German invention was used

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to attack Great Yarmouth in East Anglia?

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Show me your answers now.

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Everybody in total agreement.

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They all think it's B.

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Are they all right or are they all wrong?

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The answer is B, a Zeppelin.

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A massive great inflatable airship

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that was the first air raid in British history.

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Yes, Zeppelins were huge and filled with gas which unfortunately meant

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they were very, very easy targets.

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George, it's your turn to pick a topic.

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-I think I'll go potatoes.

-Potatoes.

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That is a prop question.

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Ah, look at that lovely potato.

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Which of these was given as a nickname to potatoes

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in World War One?

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Let's see your answers now, please.

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OK. George and Lydia going for A.

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Nehaal on her own with C.

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Well, I'm afraid none of you are right. The answer is B.

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Soldiers called potatoes Bombardier, which came from the French word

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for potatoes, pomme de terre, which sounds a little bit like Bombardier.

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Although, to be fair, not much like it.

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If you're not having that mouldy potato, can I have it?

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Yeah, knock yourself out, Rattus. Lydia, your turn to pick a topic.

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Can I please pick Slang?

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Slang. Let's hear that question.

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What was trenches slang for being tired?

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Let's see those answers now please.

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Nehaal and George agreeing on C.

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Lydia, this time, out on her own with B.

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Let's find out who's right.

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The answer is C. If you were tired you were chin strapped.

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Soldiers were usually so tired it was said they were only held upright

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by the strap on the helmets lifting their chins.

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So, one question left in this round. Everything still to play for.

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Let's hear the final question.

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How did the French Army get many of its soldiers to the trenches?

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So, is the answer A? Is it B? Or is it C?

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OK. The girls agreeing on C.

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George has gone for A, all on his own.

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Let's find out who, if anyone, is right.

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The answer is A! In lots of taxis.

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It's, er, right at the barbed wire

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and left at the unexploded bomb please, cabbie.

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Can you imagine? Ah!

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So, George, you have won the quiz.

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It's time to choose your Year Sphere from our trolley wolley.

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Hm. Push, push, push, push, push, push, push.

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Oh, there you go, George. Come and choose your Year Sphere.

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-That one?

-Yep.

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Push, push, push, push, push, push, push. Might be a good one.

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Yes, that could be a good one or bad one.

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We won't find out until the end of the show.

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So winning the quiz means that George is automatically through

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to play the World War One game

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but will he be alone or will everyone else get to play?

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Let's find out.

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It's a single player silly game.

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So, off you go, soldier. Get down that Time Sewer with you.

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Wooh!

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Ooh, head first.

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There were thousands of soldiers fighting in the trenches

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of World War One and for every soldier there were several rats.

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But whilst rats had greater numbers, the soldiers had spades.

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Yes, it's time to play...

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-This is wrong. Just so wrong!

-He, he, he!

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Whack 15 rats with your spade within the time limit

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to win the Year Sphere and your time starts now.

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HORN SOUNDS

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George attempts to Vanquish Vile Vermin. There's one with a hat on.

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Well, Rattus, you don't see that every day, do you?

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There was a degree of profiteering to be had on this game.

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I sold more hard hats for a pound a piece.

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Well, I hope you can live with yourself.

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Been selling white flags as well, have you, Rattus?

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Dear oh dear, disgraceful.

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I have a feeling that that surrender is not going to help him. Ooh!

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-He got a very serious smash on the head anyway.

-Poor Uncle Whipmeyer.

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Poor Uncle Whipmeyer, exactly. Well, look. He's a little bit...

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He's not doing brilliantly well, George. He's doing well enough

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but there are quite a lot of rats popping out and escaping.

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His hair's in his eyes. That's the problem, Dave.

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He could do with a good trim.

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That's a very military attitude you're showing, Rattus,

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but I suppose it's a appropriate seeing as this is World War One

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we're playing in here.

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Dave, I think the least we could do is give the rats spades.

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They're getting spades, Rattus. Square in the face!

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RATTUS SOBS

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Don't talk, Rattus. Don't talk. I'll do the commentary.

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Well, he's got nine, George. He's got nine so far. He needs 15.

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And he does miss a few, George,

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but when he does hit them, boy, do they stay hit like that one there.

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He won't be troubling us again.

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There's a lot of jiggery-pokery here. A lot of fast action.

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Rats emerging and disappearing again. He just needs two more.

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One more required.

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BUZZER SOUNDS

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He's run out of time.

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George has run out of time. That one's not going to count

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but it means Uncle Whipmeyer spends the night in field hospital.

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Welcome back, George. Bad luck. You are quite aggressive with a spade.

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-Have you ever hit a rat with a spade before?

-No.

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-Would you like to hit Rattus here with a spade?

-Definitely.

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It's all right. It's all right.

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I won't let him near you. I won't let him near you.

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On to Round 2 and to find out what's up next it's over to the Gory Grid.

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It's the Rotten Romans.

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Here are your four Roman topics.

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-George, it's you to pick first. What's it going to be?

-Gladiators.

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Let's hear the question.

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What was unusual about the Gladiators called the Andabatae?

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A - They fought with their arms tied behind their backs?

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B - They fought blindfolded?

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C - They were children?

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Let's see your answers now please.

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Oh, look at that.

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A complete spread of different answers.

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Let's find out who's right.

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The answer is B.

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They fought blindfolded which was really funny for the spectators.

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Not so funny for the gladiators.

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No, I could imagine!

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Lydia, it's your turn to pick a topic. What's it going to be?

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-Nero, please.

-Nero. Let's hear that question.

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Emperor Nero had a massive Egyptian slave called Polyfargus

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but what was unusual about him?

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A - He ate absolutely anything

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B - He had three arms, or

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C - He ate absolutely nothing.

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Let's see those answers.

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Again, total disagreement. Let's find out who's right.

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The answer is A - Polyfargus ate absolutely anything

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and everything including a live human. Urgh!

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-Crikey. Suddenly the rat's diet seems positively pleasant.

-Oi!

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OK, Nehaal, it's your turn to pick a topic.

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-Can I have roads, please?

-Roads. You certainly can.

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Here comes your question, ready or not.

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Let's see your answers now, please. The girls agreeing this time on B.

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George on his own with C. Who, if anyone, is right?

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The answer is

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C - on the left.

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Interesting. OK. So, one point apiece.

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Well played, everybody.

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One question left in this round and it's a question on Wings.

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-And it's a question from Mr Rattus Rattus.

-I thank you.

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Evil Emperor Domitian liked to pull the wings off which creature?

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Let's have a look at your answers right now.

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So George and Lydia agreeing with B. Nehaal with A. Who's right, Rattus?

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It's George and Lydia with B.

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Yes, flies.

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Well, at the end of that round,

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George and Lydia, you go into tie-break question.

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Fingers on buzzers.

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Beginning with the letter R,

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what was the capital city of the Ancient Roman Empire?

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George.

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-Rome.

-Rome is absolutely right, George.

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A big exhale from Lydia who knew that one as well

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but George collects another Year Sphere.

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Help yourself, George.

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OK, George, you are through to play the Roman game

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but will he be playing alone or will he be joined by the others?

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Let's find out.

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It's an All Play Gory Game

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so off down the Time Sewer with the lot of you!

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Lead the way, Lydia.

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Waah!

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Wooh!

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-Oh, it stinks!

-It certainly does, Nehaal.

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When it came to wars, Romans didn't like to lose

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so they employed some of the most brutal battle tactics ever.

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It's time to play...

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Yes, if Romans wanted to get into an enemy fortress they would use

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catapults to fire all sorts of awful things such as heavy rocks,

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hives of stinging bees and even the severed heads of dead enemies.

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Nice touch.

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You must fire as many missiles into your fortress target as possible.

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The person who gets the most in the time limit wins the Year Sphere.

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So catapults at the ready. In three, two, one!

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HORN SOUNDS

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So, here we go then with Savage Siege

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and you notice straight away that Lydia's gone for the beehive.

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The other two for decapitated heads.

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Who's going to land with that first blow? No one, quite honestly.

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So we learnt nothing, nothing at all.

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I did once stick my nose in a beehive once.

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Won't be doing that again, Dave!

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You shouldn't have done it in the first place, quite frankly, Rattus.

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Very, very dangerous practice, that. Nose in the old beehive there.

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Very lucky to escape a very, very badly swollen nose.

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Still, on with the game and Nehaal's back in it.

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-Lovely stuff.

-Oh! And that one bounced right off.

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Yeah. A very low trajectory on that one, wasn't it?

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She really gave it some welly. She's doing it again look. Wa ha ho!

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She really is firing them, firing them hard,

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and George grabs his first beehive.

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Lovely to see the beehive going in it. Underused, I feel.

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-First head there.

-Yeah, first head there for George. Lovely.

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Nehaal also on two at the end there. She's doing nicely.

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George is really into his stride now. He's just landed a rock.

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He's gone into the lead. That's tremendous shooting.

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A word about these rocks.

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-They're lighter than they look, aren't they, Rattus?

-Certainly are.

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They're a specially designed lightweight boulder

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for international use.

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Yeah, they have been passed by

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the International Savage Siege Federation or the ISSF.

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-They are regulation weight and size. There's another rock.

-Oh!

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Landing beautifully round the rim there of the basket.

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This is looking very, very good for Lydia all of a sudden.

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She's suddenly spurted ahead.

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She really would have made a very good Roman soldier, wouldn't she?

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She certainly would.

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George has fired one into Lydia's basket there.

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It won't count but could be crucial for George as time is running out.

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There's Lydia. Fires one over the top but I think time's run out.

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George though, the one away. It's not enough.

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BUZZER SOUNDS

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There it is, it's all over. Lydia, give us a nod if you've won it.

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Bang!

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-Excellent Savage Siege. Lydia, have you done that before?

-No.

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-You look very good at it.

-Thank you.

-Which ones did you like?

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The heads cos there was more of them so I got more used to them.

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So, Lydia, help yourself to a Year Sphere.

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Another Roman Siege tactic was to build giant wooden towers on wheels

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that had ladders inside them.

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They'd wheel these towers up to the fortress walls,

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Roman soldiers would climb up the inside

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and jump out onto the enemy's battlements.

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-Well, a bit like an early elevator.

-Well, kind of.

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But, rather than taking you up to menswear and the cafe,

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they'd take you up to violent bloodshed and possible death.

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-I think I'll give that shop a miss.

-So will I.

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Over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.

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It's the Awful Egyptians.

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And here are your all important Egyptian topics.

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So, Lydia, it's your turn to pick a topic first this time.

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Can I please have Pharaohs, please?

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Pharaohs. You can indeed.

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That is a question from my esteemed colleague, Mr Rattus Rattus.

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Esteemed colleague!

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He's after something.

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True or false? Ramasses II had a very spotty face.

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Well, that was a quick question.

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Let's see you answers now, please. Well, look at that.

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George and Nehaal going for false. Lydia going for true.

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Rattus, who's right?

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George, Nehaal, I'm afraid you're wrong cos it's true!

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Archaeologists found his tomb, unwrapped his mummy

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and could tell that he had a spotty face.

0:16:300:16:32

I was a spotty teenager.

0:16:320:16:34

Fortunately, you couldn't see it under all this fur.

0:16:340:16:37

Ha ha ha ha ha!

0:16:370:16:39

-I'll shut up.

-Nehaal, it's your turn to pick a topic.

0:16:390:16:43

I'd like Egyptian Gods, please.

0:16:430:16:45

Egyptian Gods. Let's hear that question.

0:16:450:16:47

True or false?

0:16:470:16:50

We believed Tar was the god of all things in the world.

0:16:500:16:54

He made them exist just by speaking their names.

0:16:540:16:57

So, is that true or false?

0:16:570:16:59

George and Nehaal agreeing with each other again on false.

0:17:000:17:03

Lydia on her own with true. Let's see who's right.

0:17:030:17:06

-It's true.

-Ooh, what a neat trick, eh?

0:17:060:17:09

I wonder if I can make things exist just by speaking their names.

0:17:090:17:13

Pile of rotting animal guts! Pile of rotting animal guts!

0:17:130:17:16

No, no joy.

0:17:170:17:20

-George, it's your turn to pick a topic.

-Houses.

0:17:200:17:23

Houses. Let's hear the question.

0:17:230:17:25

True or false?

0:17:250:17:27

Most ancient Egyptians lived in houses made of stone bricks.

0:17:270:17:30

So, is that true or false? OK.

0:17:300:17:33

The girls are going for false. George with true. What's the answer?

0:17:330:17:37

It's false. Most Egyptians lived in houses made of mud bricks

0:17:370:17:40

baked hard by the hot sun.

0:17:400:17:42

Me? I lived in a palace. I mean, mud hut, as if? Get real!

0:17:420:17:46

So, no need for the last question.

0:17:470:17:49

Lydia, you've already won the round

0:17:490:17:51

and that means you get to collect another Year Sphere.

0:17:510:17:54

Lydia, as the quiz winner, you're also through to the Egyptian Game

0:17:540:17:58

but will it be just you or will the others get to play too?

0:17:580:18:01

Let's find out.

0:18:010:18:03

It's a Single Player Scary Game

0:18:070:18:10

which means you have to go down the sewer all on your own, Lydia.

0:18:100:18:13

Good luck.

0:18:130:18:14

-Bye.

-Bye.

0:18:140:18:16

I hope she's all right in there.

0:18:170:18:19

The goriest bit of the mummification process involved removing all

0:18:190:18:23

the body's organs so guess which bit of the mummification process

0:18:230:18:26

we're basing this next game on?

0:18:260:18:29

Yep, it's time to play...

0:18:290:18:32

Yes, whoever mummified this Pharaoh forgot to remove some organs

0:18:320:18:36

and you've got to sort out the mess.

0:18:360:18:38

Your challenge is to remove the stomach, liver, intestines and lungs

0:18:380:18:42

and put them in the correct canopic jars.

0:18:420:18:44

The brain needs to be yanked out of the nose and binned

0:18:440:18:47

but the heart must be left inside the body.

0:18:470:18:50

Got that? Good.

0:18:500:18:51

Just don't let your time run out if you want to win a Year Sphere.

0:18:510:18:54

In three, two, one...

0:18:540:18:56

Mummify Me!

0:18:560:18:58

So here we are, deep within a pyramid about to play Mummify Me.

0:18:580:19:03

Lydia dons goggles which wouldn't have been around at the time.

0:19:030:19:06

That's a modern thing. We've had to introduce the safety goggle here

0:19:060:19:09

because there's a lot of spattering as we're about to find out.

0:19:090:19:13

There she goes, undoing the bandages and going in for her first organ

0:19:130:19:17

and oh dear, oh dear, it's gungy!

0:19:170:19:20

Oh, it's a bit squelchy, it's a bit slimy

0:19:200:19:22

and that looks to me like a top of the liver.

0:19:220:19:24

-Oh, yeah, that it is.

-That's the liver.

0:19:240:19:26

The liver is out. Now, which canopic jar?

0:19:260:19:28

That's what she has to decide now.

0:19:280:19:30

She matches it up to the hieroglyphic.

0:19:300:19:32

Very good, very good, very methodical

0:19:320:19:34

but, it all takes up time, doesn't it, Rattus?

0:19:340:19:36

Certainly does take up time.

0:19:360:19:37

Every single second that you're breathing takes up time.

0:19:370:19:40

-That's the tragedy of life.

-Absolutely. There's the stomach.

0:19:400:19:43

Now which canopic jar?

0:19:430:19:45

She's once again circling round the coffin,

0:19:450:19:47

although the plinth I suppose you'd call it.

0:19:470:19:49

That's gone safely in. What else will she find?

0:19:490:19:52

I think she's left the lungs behind.

0:19:520:19:54

I don't want to worry you, Rattus, but she's left the lungs in there.

0:19:540:19:57

Yes, Dave, she's moved down to the stomach there

0:19:570:20:00

and she's found the intestines, she's pulling them out.

0:20:000:20:02

Oh my goodness me. I mean, I've seen some horrible things in my time

0:20:020:20:07

but that really does rank at least in the top five.

0:20:070:20:11

Look at the amount of guts there.

0:20:110:20:13

She seemed to put her hand in there for a sort of wash off!

0:20:130:20:17

I think she lost her watch.

0:20:170:20:18

I don't know what's happened there. She needs to retrieve that quickly.

0:20:180:20:22

We don't want a mummy with a watch inside it.

0:20:220:20:24

30 seconds left. She needs to get a shift on.

0:20:240:20:27

Now this bit is particularly upsetting.

0:20:270:20:30

If you're squeamish I'd look away now because that is going in there.

0:20:300:20:33

It's gone right into the brain and here comes a bit of the brain.

0:20:330:20:37

The stringy bit of the brain as it unravels inside the skull.

0:20:370:20:40

Which part of the brain is that, Dave? I'm not sure.

0:20:400:20:42

I think it's a bit of the frontal lobe that's come unravelled

0:20:420:20:45

and she's dragging it round the floor

0:20:450:20:47

and she's going to run out of time!

0:20:470:20:48

HORN SOUNDS

0:20:480:20:49

She needs to put that in the bin but she can't find a bin.

0:20:490:20:52

It was at the front of the pyramid all along.

0:20:520:20:54

She left the lungs inside so it's not really worked out for Lydia.

0:20:540:20:59

Welcome back, Lydia. Welcome back. Emerging from the smoke.

0:21:000:21:04

Did you know it was traditional for a trainee embalmer to be

0:21:040:21:08

chased up and down the streets being whipped by all the local people?

0:21:080:21:11

They were punishing him in advance

0:21:110:21:12

for the horrible things he'd do to their bodies when they died.

0:21:120:21:16

It's like when I washed my dirty feet in your coffee

0:21:160:21:18

to get you back for stealing my socks.

0:21:180:21:21

-What? I never stole your socks.

-Well, no, but you might do one day.

0:21:210:21:24

Oh for heaven's sake.

0:21:240:21:27

Time for the final round, thank goodness.

0:21:270:21:30

Over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out what we've got.

0:21:300:21:33

It's the Vicious Vikings.

0:21:330:21:35

So, no quirky quiz in our final round.

0:21:350:21:38

It's straight to our big All Play Viking End Game

0:21:380:21:41

and it's a scary one.

0:21:410:21:43

So, everyone, get back down that Time Sewer.

0:21:430:21:46

-Lead 'em off Lydia.

-Bye!

-Bye.

0:21:460:21:48

-Go on, George.

-Wooh!

0:21:480:21:50

-Off you go now.

-Wee!

-Wahoo!

0:21:500:21:52

The Vikings liked nothing more than a good fight against enemy warriors,

0:21:520:21:56

except, perhaps, a thoroughly one-sided fight against monks.

0:21:560:22:00

It's time to play...

0:22:000:22:02

You are defenceless monks.

0:22:030:22:05

Your only hope of survival is that the attacking Vikings won't find you

0:22:050:22:10

in your Monastery so best not step on a squeaky floorboard.

0:22:100:22:13

Your challenge is to find the one squeak-free path.

0:22:130:22:15

Every time you step on a sinking squeaky wooden panel,

0:22:150:22:18

you'll be sent back to the start.

0:22:180:22:20

At the end of the path are two doors. Behind one is freedom.

0:22:200:22:23

Behind the other is GRRAAAAAGGHH!!

0:22:230:22:27

I'm portraying a Viking.

0:22:290:22:31

Find him and you have to start all over again.

0:22:310:22:33

The first person to escape wins the Year Sphere.

0:22:330:22:35

Ready, steady, shh!

0:22:350:22:38

So here we go.

0:22:380:22:40

They're looking for the one squeak-free path

0:22:400:22:42

and they didn't find it there, Rattus.

0:22:420:22:44

There were squeaks all over place like someone trod on a bag of mice.

0:22:440:22:49

Dave, I've got a lot in common with Vikings.

0:22:490:22:52

We've both got whiskers and furry faces.

0:22:520:22:55

And you both stink.

0:22:550:22:56

And George heads back to the start then. Nehaal as well.

0:22:560:23:00

Here is Lydia attempting to find... Oh! And she's just gone.

0:23:000:23:03

She was doing very nicely. This is a very difficult game, Rattus.

0:23:030:23:07

It's all down to memory, Dave, and also good listening

0:23:070:23:10

because it's very tricky this game because of the creaking.

0:23:100:23:12

Everyone else's boards are creaking. Who knows who's creaking?

0:23:120:23:15

The giveaway is that your floorboard will sink slightly

0:23:150:23:18

if it's a creaker and, look at that, he's right at the end here.

0:23:180:23:22

Why's he going back? It wasn't sinking!

0:23:220:23:26

I think George has just disciplined himself for no reason.

0:23:260:23:29

He chose poorly, Dave.

0:23:290:23:31

Well, it was very, very public spirited of him.

0:23:310:23:33

He was being very, very decent and sportsmanlike but,

0:23:330:23:36

unfortunately, he seems to have cheated himself out of a position.

0:23:360:23:41

This could be George's moment. This could be it.

0:23:410:23:44

Oh no!

0:23:440:23:45

All he's got to do though now is remember that path

0:23:450:23:49

and he's going to be home.

0:23:490:23:50

Oh, he's not remembered it already. And now here he comes again.

0:23:500:23:53

No, he's completely gone to pieces. Lydia, what's she going to do here?

0:23:530:23:57

-Is she going to find a solid board?

-She's done it!

0:23:570:23:59

Now, is she going to find freedom here or a nasty Viking?

0:23:590:24:02

-A Viking will send her back, remember.

-GRRRAAGGH!

0:24:020:24:06

All the way back to the start

0:24:060:24:08

and that has maybe opened the door for Nehaal.

0:24:080:24:10

Look how close she is! She's right up towards the other path.

0:24:100:24:12

Oh it's gone wrong for her. George can hear her but he's forgotten.

0:24:120:24:15

Lydia, we've seen how much trouble George has had remembering his path.

0:24:150:24:18

Can Lydia remember her path from earlier?

0:24:180:24:21

Can she remember under pressure? She's doing extremely well.

0:24:210:24:24

She's got two panels left to go, just the one left! A formality now!

0:24:240:24:27

She just needs to open the door! She's had it.

0:24:270:24:29

-Lydia's the winner!

-Lydia's done it and what a celebration.

0:24:290:24:32

It's a classic and it's tremendous to see.

0:24:320:24:36

Very, very well played all of you.

0:24:370:24:38

Lydia, go and get yourself another Year Sphere.

0:24:380:24:41

You did extremely well.

0:24:410:24:43

Did you know monasteries were full of books

0:24:430:24:46

and Vikings liked to steal them?

0:24:460:24:47

Yeah. Not because of their love of literature. Oh, no.

0:24:470:24:50

-Most Vikings couldn't read.

-No, but books were very rare in those days

0:24:500:24:55

and the covers were often decorated with bronze, silver and gold.

0:24:550:24:59

Gold! So Vikings really did judge a book by it's cover?

0:24:590:25:03

Well said.

0:25:030:25:05

Three for Lydia, two for George, none for Nehaal

0:25:050:25:08

but because of all the BC year totals

0:25:080:25:10

you could still win this with nought so don't worry.

0:25:100:25:12

It's time to count up those Year Spheres and, remember,

0:25:120:25:15

AD years are added to your total

0:25:150:25:18

and BC years are subtracted from it.

0:25:180:25:21

Best of luck.

0:25:210:25:22

Nehaal, now, at a glance, I am going to say that your score is nought.

0:25:220:25:27

George, let's open up your first Year Sphere.

0:25:270:25:30

1588 AD.

0:25:320:25:34

The Spanish Armada was destroyed. You've done well to start off with.

0:25:340:25:38

Let's have a look at that crucial second one.

0:25:380:25:40

Oh dear! 1.5 million BC.

0:25:420:25:45

Stone Age Man first used fire around then.

0:25:450:25:48

You have got a score of minus 1,498,412.

0:25:480:25:55

That puts you massively in the lead, Nehaal.

0:25:550:25:58

Lydia, what's going to happen here? Let's look at your first sphere.

0:25:580:26:01

110,000 BC!

0:26:020:26:06

Neanderthals first came to Britain around about then.

0:26:060:26:09

There's no coming back from this, Lydia, but let's have a look anyway.

0:26:090:26:13

Oh no!

0:26:140:26:16

It's 8,500 BC.

0:26:160:26:18

Britain's oldest house in Yorkshire dates back to then.

0:26:180:26:21

Rattus has passed out.

0:26:210:26:23

It's all going wrong. Let's look at that third sphere.

0:26:230:26:26

776 BC!

0:26:280:26:30

The first ever Ancient Olympics took place that year.

0:26:300:26:34

Well, that's extraordinary.

0:26:340:26:36

I can tell you, Lydia, that today your Gory Games score is

0:26:360:26:39

minus 119,276.

0:26:390:26:44

That means that today's winner with a grand total of no points at all

0:26:440:26:49

is Nehaal who'll be taking home our star prize

0:26:490:26:52

which may sound impressive, Nehaal, but is actually some old rubbish

0:26:520:26:55

fished out of the Time Sewer by my pongy pal.

0:26:550:26:59

Actually, do you know what? I did not fish this out of the sewers.

0:26:590:27:01

-Well, there's a first.

-A Victorian did.

0:27:010:27:04

-Oh, of course they did.

-Yes, poor Victorians would go toshing.

0:27:040:27:07

Wading through the sewers looking for coins dropped down drains

0:27:070:27:12

like this lovely poo-covered shilling!

0:27:120:27:15

It didn't, by any chance, occur to you to wash it?

0:27:150:27:17

-I did wash it.

-In what?

0:27:170:27:20

The sewer.

0:27:200:27:21

I give up.

0:27:210:27:23

Anyway, congratulations, Nehaal.

0:27:230:27:25

Well done, Nehaal. There you go. Sorry it's a bit sewery.

0:27:250:27:30

Well, it just remains to say thanks to our winner, Nehaal.

0:27:300:27:33

Thanks to our splendid runners up, George and Lydia

0:27:330:27:36

and no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

0:27:360:27:38

-He loves me really.

-I don't.

0:27:380:27:40

You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.

0:27:400:27:42

# Was that show messy enough for you

0:27:440:27:47

# Or would you have preferred a little more poo?

0:27:470:27:50

# Have you had your fill of blood, guts and gore

0:27:500:27:52

# Or have we left you still wanting more?

0:27:520:27:55

# Well keep watching

0:27:550:27:56

# We'll be back again

0:27:560:27:59

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

0:27:590:28:02

# Horrible Histories Gory Games! #

0:28:020:28:05

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