Episode 1 HH: Gory Games


Episode 1

Similar Content

Browse content similar to Episode 1. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

Rattus, dare I ask why you've put cameras all over my car?

0:00:020:00:04

It's my brilliant new idea

0:00:040:00:05

to improve your internet profile, Dave.

0:00:050:00:07

Car-poo karaoke!

0:00:070:00:09

All we need is one run-of-the-mill host, that's you,

0:00:090:00:13

and one five-star celebrity.

0:00:130:00:16

That's me! Time for some tunes.

0:00:160:00:18

DRUMBEAT PLAYS

0:00:180:00:21

# Because the poopers gonna poop, poop, poop

0:00:210:00:24

# And the stinkers gonna stink, stink, stink

0:00:240:00:27

# Baby, auntie's gonna whiff, whiff, whiff!

0:00:270:00:31

# Plop it off, plop it off!

0:00:310:00:33

# Cos I love a sewer works

0:00:350:00:38

# You got to love a sewer works!

0:00:380:00:42

# Make them go phew, ew, ew!

0:00:420:00:45

# As you stink up to the sky-y-y! #

0:00:450:00:49

Well, it's safe to say I will never be happier to arrive at the studio.

0:00:490:00:53

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

0:00:560:00:59

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

0:00:590:01:02

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

0:01:020:01:04

# Better turn off This show ain't for you

0:01:040:01:07

# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

0:01:070:01:11

# With Horrible Histories: Gory Games

0:01:110:01:14

# Horrible Histories: Gory...

0:01:140:01:16

# ..Games! #

0:01:170:01:18

Hello, and welcome to Gory Games,

0:01:180:01:20

with me Dave Lamb.

0:01:200:01:22

And me...

0:01:220:01:23

Follow me on Instagram.

0:01:240:01:26

Whatevs!

0:01:260:01:28

Let's meet today's Horrible Historians.

0:01:280:01:30

Hi, I'm Dan from Hertfordshire.

0:01:300:01:33

Hi, I'm Eva and I'm from Tottenham.

0:01:340:01:37

Hi, I'm Shai from Norfolk.

0:01:380:01:40

Welcome, everyone. Right, you lot are playing to win Year Spheres.

0:01:440:01:48

The person with the highest year score at the end of the show

0:01:480:01:51

will win a prize dredged out of the Time Sewer by Rattus Rattus.

0:01:510:01:55

That's @horriblerattus#

0:01:550:01:58

Get with the lingo, Grandad.

0:01:580:01:59

Time to crack on with round one.

0:01:590:02:01

Let's go over to the Gory Grid to find out what it's all about.

0:02:010:02:04

It's the Awesome USA!

0:02:060:02:08

So, four questions on the Awesome USA coming up.

0:02:090:02:13

The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

0:02:130:02:16

And your four Awesome USA topics are...

0:02:160:02:19

-So, Dan, you get to pick first in this first round.

-Civil War, please.

0:02:240:02:29

The American Civil War it is.

0:02:290:02:32

100 Union soldiers escaped the notorious Libby Prison

0:02:320:02:35

through an abandoned area of the basement, known as...

0:02:350:02:38

Show me now, please.

0:02:440:02:45

Well, Daniel thinks it's B, Eva and Shai both think it's A.

0:02:450:02:48

What's the answer, please?

0:02:480:02:50

The answer is A.

0:02:500:02:52

They escaped through Rat Hell, which was swarming with thousands

0:02:530:02:57

and thousands of rats.

0:02:570:02:59

Rat Hell? Sounds more like rat heaven to me.

0:02:590:03:03

Yes, I'm sure it does, but whatever it sounds like to you,

0:03:030:03:06

that's a point to Eva and Shai, good start.

0:03:060:03:09

Eva, your turn to choose.

0:03:090:03:11

-Gunpowder, please.

-That is a question from Rattus Rattus.

0:03:110:03:14

During the American Civil War, the Rebel Army in the South

0:03:150:03:18

ran very short of gunpowder,

0:03:180:03:21

because it was made by the Yankees in the North.

0:03:210:03:24

They found a way to make it using what? Was it...?

0:03:240:03:27

Show me now, please.

0:03:340:03:36

What's the answer, Rattus?

0:03:360:03:38

The answer is C.

0:03:380:03:39

You can also fire buffalo poo

0:03:420:03:44

using a catapult made out of frog guts.

0:03:440:03:47

We'll have to take your word for that, Rattus.

0:03:470:03:49

Well done, Shai, it's a thunderingly good start

0:03:490:03:52

and it's your turn to pick a topic.

0:03:520:03:54

Can I have pets, please?

0:03:540:03:56

In the 1820s, President John Quincy Adams

0:03:560:03:59

used to hang out at the White House with his groovy pet.

0:03:590:04:02

But what was it?

0:04:020:04:03

Show me now, please.

0:04:090:04:11

Oh! Everyone's gone for C. What's the answer?

0:04:110:04:14

The answer is C.

0:04:140:04:16

President Adams had a pet alligator.

0:04:180:04:21

Far out, dudes!

0:04:210:04:23

Oh, I can't stand alligators.

0:04:230:04:25

They eat rats like they were some kind of snack.

0:04:250:04:28

-Crisps or something.

-What, poo-flavoured crisps?

0:04:280:04:31

Oh, someone should make those! They'd make a fortune.

0:04:310:04:34

Ugh! That's a point to everybody. Well played, well played.

0:04:350:04:39

One category left and that category is presents.

0:04:390:04:43

In 1802, what rad present did the American town of Cheshire

0:04:440:04:48

give President Thomas Jefferson?

0:04:480:04:50

Let's see those answers.

0:04:570:04:59

OK, Shai and Eva think it's A.

0:04:590:05:01

Dan thinks it's C. Let's find out.

0:05:010:05:04

The answer is C.

0:05:060:05:08

The town gave the President a cheese that weighed over 550 kilos.

0:05:080:05:14

Out of sight! They, like, sent the Big Cheese a big cheese!

0:05:140:05:18

HE LAUGHS

0:05:190:05:21

Well played, Dan, a good answer there.

0:05:210:05:23

It was very close but, as we can see, at the end of that round,

0:05:230:05:26

Shai, you have won the first Year Sphere.

0:05:260:05:29

And that means it's also time for me to say...

0:05:290:05:32

All hail the Potty Pyramid!

0:05:320:05:37

And, Shai, imagine it's your nose and pick carefully.

0:05:380:05:41

Yes, indeed. Because AD dates will be added to your total.

0:05:410:05:45

Of course, BC dates will be subtracted from it.

0:05:450:05:48

Now, winning the Awesome USA quiz means

0:05:500:05:52

that Shai is automatically through to play the Awesome USA game.

0:05:520:05:56

But will he be alone or will everyone get to play?

0:05:560:05:58

Let's find out.

0:05:580:05:59

Oh, it's a single player game.

0:06:030:06:05

So, Shai, off down the Time Sewer on your own.

0:06:050:06:07

Oh, it stinks!

0:06:090:06:11

America's notorious gang, the Wild Bunch,

0:06:130:06:16

robbed a train in 1899.

0:06:160:06:19

Can you repeat their explosive exploits? As we play...

0:06:190:06:23

Get the door to the carriage open to find three safes.

0:06:250:06:28

Then, connect the right cable and blow them up.

0:06:280:06:30

Until you find the one with the cash, and grab 50,000

0:06:300:06:34

within the time limit to earn yourself a Year Sphere.

0:06:340:06:37

Although, if you've got 50,000,

0:06:370:06:39

you probably don't care about the Year Sphere.

0:06:390:06:41

Oh, that's nonsense, of course you do!

0:06:410:06:43

Go!

0:06:460:06:48

So, the first thing this robber needs to do

0:06:480:06:50

is actually get into the train carriage.

0:06:500:06:53

It's Shai versus door.

0:06:530:06:55

And surely, there can only be one winner here?

0:06:550:06:57

Although you have to say, the door's holding

0:06:570:06:59

its own at the moment, Rattus.

0:06:590:07:01

No, of course, Shai has won that battle!

0:07:010:07:03

And he's through, over to the fuses now.

0:07:030:07:05

He's got to find the right one here.

0:07:050:07:06

-Oh, this part always makes me hungry.

-Why is that, Rattus?

0:07:060:07:09

-They look like intestines. Delicious!

-Oh, for heaven's sake.

0:07:090:07:13

Well, I think that one's too short, I think we can all see that.

0:07:130:07:16

Shai has certainly seen it, he's back to the barrel.

0:07:160:07:18

This one looks much longer, he's just got to get to be other end.

0:07:180:07:22

He's running over, he's onto a winner here, Rattus.

0:07:220:07:25

Block your ears up, look out!

0:07:250:07:26

Boom!

0:07:260:07:28

He runs over to have a look.

0:07:280:07:30

-It doesn't look like the right one to me, Rattus.

-No, Dave.

0:07:300:07:33

You can tell that because there's not lots of money flying around.

0:07:330:07:36

You're absolutely right. So, hang on, what's going on here?

0:07:360:07:38

He's picked up another fuse!

0:07:380:07:40

Only one of those fuses is long enough to reach.

0:07:400:07:43

And that's the one that was in the other safe. That's not...

0:07:430:07:46

You can stretch that as long as you like, Shai,

0:07:460:07:47

you're going to have to revert to the other fuse.

0:07:470:07:49

Well, he's worked it out.

0:07:490:07:51

Fair play to him, Rattus, he's worked that out.

0:07:510:07:53

The long fuse is attached, it's boom time!

0:07:530:07:56

Boom! Oh, what a shame.

0:07:570:08:00

Time for Shai to do his Old Mother Hubbard,

0:08:000:08:02

the cupboard is very much bare.

0:08:020:08:04

Now, he transfers that fuse to the final one.

0:08:040:08:06

Surely, Rattus, it's got to be in there, hasn't it?

0:08:060:08:09

Well, or someone's getting fired.

0:08:090:08:11

-Hey!

-The safe is fired, there's money everywhere.

0:08:110:08:14

Now he's got seven seconds to make 50 grand.

0:08:140:08:17

I'm sorry, but that is not going to happen, is it, really?

0:08:170:08:20

Bad luck, Shai.

0:08:200:08:21

Yep, it's all over. Let's see how he's feeling.

0:08:230:08:26

I was committing a crime. So, it's good that I got caught.

0:08:260:08:30

Ah, bad luck, bad luck, Shai. Bad luck.

0:08:310:08:34

No Year Sphere this time, but don't worry.

0:08:340:08:37

Still plenty more Year Spheres to play for.

0:08:370:08:40

-HE GASPS

-Dave, look!

0:08:400:08:42

Our car-poo karaoke is blowing up.

0:08:420:08:45

What, not like the safe?

0:08:450:08:47

-No, it means people love it.

-Do they?

0:08:470:08:49

# Because I'm whiffy...

0:08:490:08:51

# Sing along if you feel like a message that just won't send

0:08:510:08:55

# Because I'm whiffy...

0:08:550:08:57

# Sing along if you feel like you're stuck in life's U-bend... #

0:08:570:09:01

People on the internet like watching people singing in cars?

0:09:010:09:05

-That's considered entertainment?

-Yes, Dave. It's the future.

0:09:050:09:10

-I feel so old!

-Time to get with the interwebs, Grandpa.

0:09:100:09:13

I'm going to make you an online sensation.

0:09:130:09:16

Oh, goody.

0:09:160:09:17

Maybe, before that, we can have round two.

0:09:170:09:19

And to find out what's up next, let's go over to the Gory Grid.

0:09:190:09:22

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day!

0:09:250:09:28

And here are your all-important Vile Victorian topics...

0:09:290:09:33

So, Eva, it's your turn to pick a topic first this time.

0:09:390:09:42

I think I'll go with surgery, please.

0:09:420:09:44

True or false?

0:09:440:09:46

Before the Victorians invented anaesthetics to numb pain,

0:09:460:09:49

some surgeons would knock their patients out

0:09:490:09:51

by punching them on the jaw. Paff!

0:09:510:09:53

Is that true or is that false? Show me now, please.

0:09:530:09:57

Everybody thinks it's true. Let's find out if they're all right.

0:09:570:10:00

It's true.

0:10:000:10:02

Note to self, never visit a Victorian surgeon.

0:10:020:10:06

Nowadays, of course, anaesthetics can be injected or inhaled as a gas.

0:10:060:10:10

Personally, I prefer gas.

0:10:100:10:12

HE FARTS

0:10:120:10:14

Agh!

0:10:150:10:17

Knockout!

0:10:180:10:20

OK, that's a point to everyone there.

0:10:220:10:24

Well played, well played indeed.

0:10:240:10:26

Shai, your turn to pick a topic.

0:10:260:10:28

Queen Victoria, please.

0:10:280:10:30

True or false? When the Shah of Persia visited Buckingham Palace

0:10:300:10:33

in 1873, he surprised Queen Victoria by juggling with the Crown Jewels.

0:10:330:10:37

Is that true or is that false? Let's have a look at your answers.

0:10:370:10:41

They all think it's false this time. What's the answer, please?

0:10:410:10:44

It's false.

0:10:440:10:45

In fact, the Shah surprised the Queen by sacrificing

0:10:460:10:49

a sheep on one of her expensive carpets.

0:10:490:10:52

Funny, I thought the Queen liked a red carpet!

0:10:520:10:55

HE LAUGHS He liked that one.

0:10:550:10:57

Excellent work, everybody, maximum points so far in this round.

0:10:570:11:01

-Dan, your turn.

-Health, please.

-Health.

0:11:010:11:04

Now, that is a prop question.

0:11:040:11:06

-ALL:

-Prop question, prop question, prop question!

-Prop question!

0:11:060:11:12

Yes, it's a new beard.

0:11:120:11:14

True or false?

0:11:140:11:15

In the Victorian era, doctors prescribed beards for men

0:11:150:11:19

to keep them healthy.

0:11:190:11:20

Is that true or is that false?

0:11:200:11:22

Let's see your answers.

0:11:220:11:24

Well, I can tell you it is true!

0:11:240:11:27

Yes!

0:11:270:11:28

Yes, it was thought that beards acted as a filter

0:11:280:11:31

for diseases in the air.

0:11:310:11:33

I can tell you, they don't.

0:11:330:11:35

My facial hair traps diseases.

0:11:350:11:37

Only so I can pass them on.

0:11:370:11:39

-Kisses, Dave?

-Erm, maybe not.

0:11:390:11:42

And for future reference and to save you time,

0:11:420:11:44

-that will always be the answer.

-Oh!

0:11:440:11:46

So, excellent, Dan and Eva, another point for you,

0:11:460:11:49

you're all still in this around, though.

0:11:490:11:51

The final topic is Charles Dickens and here comes the question.

0:11:510:11:55

True or false?

0:11:550:11:56

As a child, Charles Dickens worked in a boot-blacking factory

0:11:560:11:59

as a rat exterminator.

0:11:590:12:01

Oh, please be false, please be false!

0:12:010:12:04

Show me those answers now, please.

0:12:040:12:06

Everyone thinks it's false.

0:12:060:12:08

What's the answer?

0:12:080:12:09

It's false.

0:12:090:12:11

Dickens used to put labels on jars of polish.

0:12:110:12:14

-Phewee!

-Result for Rattus there.

0:12:140:12:17

Charles Dickens used his experiences in the factory

0:12:170:12:20

to write the novels Oliver Twist and David Copperfield.

0:12:200:12:23

I did not know that!

0:12:230:12:25

Nor did I, I've just read it off this card.

0:12:250:12:28

Wow, what a round!

0:12:280:12:30

Dan and Eva, maximum points,

0:12:300:12:32

Shai, just for the moment, you're history.

0:12:320:12:35

But, for you two, it's a tie-breaker situation.

0:12:350:12:38

Fingers on buzzers. Buzz in when you think you know the answer.

0:12:400:12:43

Beginning with the letter L, Florence Nightingale, the famous...

0:12:440:12:48

-Eva?

-Erm, was it...?

0:12:480:12:52

A... Was it...?

0:12:520:12:55

-Oh, I've forgotten now!

-You forgot?

0:12:550:12:57

Oh, I thought that was going to be extraordinary.

0:12:570:12:59

OK, the whole question for you then, Dan.

0:12:590:13:01

Beginning with the letter L, Florence Nightingale,

0:13:010:13:04

the famous nurse, is often known as The Lady With The what?

0:13:040:13:08

Lady With The Lamp.

0:13:080:13:09

Lamp is correct! Congratulations, Dan.

0:13:090:13:12

You can help yourself to a Year Sphere.

0:13:120:13:14

Excellent choice, or is it?

0:13:200:13:22

OK, Dan, you're through to play the Victorian game,

0:13:220:13:25

but will it just be you or will the others get to come along, too?

0:13:250:13:28

Let's have a look.

0:13:280:13:30

It's an All Play game!

0:13:320:13:33

So, that means it's down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

0:13:330:13:36

Lead us off, Shai!

0:13:360:13:37

-Oh, stink!

-Oh, man, it really stinks in here.

-Get some air conditioning.

0:13:390:13:43

In Victorian times, they sent children up chimneys to clean them.

0:13:430:13:47

Hard to see how sending a filthy street urchin up a chimney

0:13:470:13:50

would actually make it cleaner, but never mind.

0:13:500:13:52

Because it's time to play...

0:13:520:13:53

You have to scramble up the chimney and shift four blockages.

0:13:550:13:59

The first person to pop their sweep brush

0:13:590:14:01

out of the chimney is the winner.

0:14:010:14:02

And it's a nice, smooth start from everyone,

0:14:080:14:11

and they're off to the first blockage, Rattus.

0:14:110:14:13

Dan picks up his nest, he's heading back.

0:14:130:14:17

Eva and Shai close behind, or should I say hot on his heels?

0:14:170:14:21

Do you get it, Rattus, because of the fire?

0:14:210:14:23

Do I even need to say it, Dave?

0:14:230:14:25

-Leave the jokes to you?

-Exactly.

-Fine.

0:14:250:14:28

This is all looking very close, it has to be said.

0:14:280:14:30

Victorian children would sometimes get stuck up narrow chimneys.

0:14:300:14:33

I once got stuck up a drainpipe. It was terrible.

0:14:330:14:37

It rained and I got washed completely clean.

0:14:370:14:40

Yeah, I wish we could arrange for that to happen again,

0:14:400:14:42

Rattus, I don't mind telling you.

0:14:420:14:44

Now, Shai has taken lead but,

0:14:440:14:45

very quickly, Dan equalises and Eva's back in it, too.

0:14:450:14:49

This is tight, this is very, very tight,

0:14:490:14:52

but Shai is maintaining a slight advantage.

0:14:520:14:54

That's three obstacles already.

0:14:540:14:57

Now, Eva's having a bit of trouble getting that nest free,

0:14:570:14:59

and here comes the master chimney sweep

0:14:590:15:01

to give Dan some encouragement.

0:15:010:15:03

Encouragement in the form of a poke with a pin!

0:15:030:15:05

Well, it was horrible but it does seem to have worked,

0:15:050:15:08

he scores again.

0:15:080:15:09

Amazing that children as young as five did this job, Rattus.

0:15:090:15:11

I know! "Happy birthday, son. Here's your present, a brush.

0:15:110:15:15

"Now, get up that chimney!"

0:15:150:15:17

And Shai has completed his fourth and final obstacle.

0:15:170:15:20

It's a straight arm race up the chimney now.

0:15:200:15:23

There he is, hand over hand over hand.

0:15:230:15:25

He's just got to get to the end,

0:15:250:15:27

he's not going to be caught from here.

0:15:270:15:29

Watch his head hit the brush.

0:15:290:15:31

Boomer! Broom's out the end, Shai is the champion cleaner.

0:15:310:15:35

How was that, fella?

0:15:350:15:37

The hardest part was trying to untie the crows and the nest.

0:15:370:15:41

But I've made up my time by being really fast on the trolley.

0:15:410:15:45

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

0:15:450:15:48

Congratulations, Shai.

0:15:480:15:50

Help yourself to another Year Sphere, fella.

0:15:500:15:52

Lovely. Lovely stuff.

0:15:520:15:54

Oh, is that going to be important, that one? We'll find out later.

0:15:550:16:00

Right, Dave, I've set you up your own PooTube channel.

0:16:000:16:03

A channel called Dave? That's never going to work, is it?

0:16:030:16:06

Now, then, I want you to unpack this box in front of the camera.

0:16:060:16:09

-Why?

-It's an unboxing video.

0:16:090:16:12

People like watching people unboxing things on the internet.

0:16:120:16:15

Do they, really?

0:16:150:16:16

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

0:16:180:16:20

This is going to contain a poo, isn't it?

0:16:200:16:22

-HE SIGHS

-Dave, would I be so obvious?

0:16:220:16:25

Give me some credit.

0:16:250:16:27

Oh!

0:16:290:16:31

-I thought you said it wouldn't be a poo.

-It's not.

0:16:310:16:34

-It's five poos.

-Urgh!

0:16:340:16:37

Can't believe that's happened again.

0:16:380:16:40

Right, round three

0:16:400:16:42

and it's over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.

0:16:420:16:45

It's the Groovy Greeks.

0:16:460:16:48

Four questions, as always, and here are your four Greek topics.

0:16:490:16:54

So, Shai, it is your turn to pick first this time.

0:17:000:17:02

-What are you going for?

-Alexander the Great, please.

0:17:020:17:06

Let's hear that question, please.

0:17:060:17:07

True or false?

0:17:070:17:09

Alexander the Great untied the supposedly impossible Gordian knot

0:17:090:17:13

by setting it on fire.

0:17:130:17:15

Is that true or is that false?

0:17:150:17:17

Let's see.

0:17:170:17:19

What's the answer, please?

0:17:190:17:20

It's...false.

0:17:200:17:22

Alexander the Great chopped the Gordian knot in two with his sword.

0:17:220:17:25

He should really have been called Alexander the Cheat.

0:17:280:17:30

He certainly should. Well, that's a point apiece for Eva and Shai.

0:17:300:17:35

Dan, pick a topic.

0:17:350:17:37

-Guts, please.

-Guts!

0:17:370:17:39

That is a prop question.

0:17:390:17:42

Oh, prop question!

0:17:420:17:44

-ALL:

-Prop question! Prop question! Prop question!

0:17:440:17:47

Prop question.

0:17:470:17:49

The ancient Greeks read the future using the guts of dead birds.

0:17:490:17:54

True or false?

0:17:550:17:56

Show me your answers, please.

0:17:560:17:58

And the answer is that it is...true!

0:17:580:18:01

I predict a short life for this bird.

0:18:020:18:04

Points for everyone there. Lovely stuff. Lovely stuff.

0:18:040:18:08

-Eva, what'll you have?

-Can I have Aesop, please?

0:18:080:18:11

You certainly can.

0:18:110:18:12

True or false?

0:18:120:18:14

The ancient Greek storyteller Aesop was richly rewarded

0:18:140:18:17

by the Prince of Delphi for his work.

0:18:170:18:19

Show me now, please.

0:18:190:18:20

What's the answer?

0:18:220:18:23

It's false.

0:18:230:18:24

They threw Aesop off a cliff.

0:18:240:18:26

I love a story with a happy ending.

0:18:260:18:29

Apparently, one of Aesop's stories is about a rat and an elephant.

0:18:290:18:33

A nimble, clever rat and a slow, old, lumbering creature.

0:18:330:18:38

Sound familiar, Dave?

0:18:380:18:40

And the moral of this tale is never work with Rattus.

0:18:400:18:44

That's a point apiece for Dan and Eva. Still all to play for.

0:18:440:18:49

One topic remaining, and it is slaves.

0:18:490:18:53

True or false?

0:18:530:18:55

Wealthy Greeks would send their slaves to sit on toilet seats

0:18:550:18:58

to warm them up before they sat on them.

0:18:580:19:01

Show me now, please.

0:19:010:19:02

What's the answer, please?

0:19:020:19:04

It's true.

0:19:040:19:05

Toasty. Nice.

0:19:050:19:07

Oh, yeah. There's nothing worse than a freezing cold toilet seat.

0:19:070:19:11

Except when you're licking it,

0:19:110:19:12

cos sometimes you can get your tongue stuck.

0:19:120:19:14

Never engage him in conversation.

0:19:170:19:19

A point apiece, then, for Dan and Eva.

0:19:190:19:21

And at the end of that round, we can see that, with a full house,

0:19:210:19:24

Eva is the winner of her first Year Sphere.

0:19:240:19:27

Help yourself.

0:19:270:19:28

All the way round, eh? All the way around there. Lovely.

0:19:350:19:38

So, as the winner of the Greek Quiz,

0:19:380:19:40

Eva is through to play the Greek Game.

0:19:400:19:43

But will it be just Eva,

0:19:430:19:44

or will the others get to play as well? Let's find out.

0:19:440:19:47

It's a single player game, Eva.

0:19:490:19:52

So off down that Time Sewer, on your own.

0:19:520:19:54

-Adios!

-Adios, amigo!

0:19:560:19:58

Have you got what it takes to be a Spartan warrior?

0:20:010:20:04

Let's find out as we play...

0:20:040:20:06

You are a young Spartan learning how to be a sneaky warrior.

0:20:080:20:13

You need to climb through the vines

0:20:130:20:14

and steal the sleeping soldier's lunch without waking him.

0:20:140:20:17

But mind the bells.

0:20:170:20:19

Three rings and it's wakey-wakey!

0:20:190:20:21

So, Eva, are you ready?

0:20:220:20:24

Shh!

0:20:280:20:29

Now, that first bell is the school bell.

0:20:300:20:32

That doesn't count against her.

0:20:320:20:33

-Eva making a cautious start, but cautious is good in this game.

-Yeah.

0:20:330:20:39

Listen to that Spartan snoring.

0:20:390:20:41

You know, Spartan boys really did learn to steal, Rattus.

0:20:410:20:44

It's just like rat school.

0:20:440:20:45

Rats have a school? How big were your classes?

0:20:450:20:48

-Pretty small. Just 300 pupils.

-Crikey.

0:20:480:20:51

She's looking a little bit...

0:20:510:20:52

BELL RINGS

0:20:520:20:54

Oh, no! Now, that's bell number one.

0:20:540:20:55

The Spartan is stirring, but he's back to sleep.

0:20:550:20:59

She's right back to it, too, taking a lot of care now.

0:20:590:21:03

And, Rattus, she's nearly through the first maze.

0:21:030:21:05

-In fact, as I say that, she exits.

-Excellent.

0:21:050:21:08

This one's trickier, though, but I think Eva can handle this.

0:21:080:21:11

BELL RINGS

0:21:110:21:12

-Oh, no!

-You jinxed her there, Dave!

0:21:120:21:14

Oh, that was the commentator's curse, wasn't it, Rattus?

0:21:140:21:17

She's only got one bell left now.

0:21:170:21:18

She's going to have to be very careful indeed.

0:21:180:21:21

BELL RINGS

0:21:210:21:22

-Oh, there goes the final bell!

-No supper for Eva!

0:21:220:21:26

No supper at all, Rattus, just a really angry Spartan.

0:21:260:21:30

And he really does look furious.

0:21:300:21:32

And sensibly, Eva's making a break for it.

0:21:320:21:34

Wow, that's a close escape! Let's hear from her.

0:21:340:21:37

The Spartan teacher was quite scary,

0:21:370:21:41

because he chased me up the Time Sewer,

0:21:410:21:43

but it was really, really fun.

0:21:430:21:45

Oh, unlucky there! Bad luck.

0:21:450:21:47

Welcome back. No Year Sphere this time, I'm afraid.

0:21:470:21:52

DAVE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:21:520:21:54

Cheers.

0:21:540:21:55

Hey, you won't believe it, Rattus,

0:21:580:22:00

but all your stupid videos have really paid off.

0:22:000:22:02

I've now got a huge sponsorship for my channel.

0:22:020:22:04

Check it out! Check it out! Look! I've got even more hits than you.

0:22:040:22:07

People love me. They love me!

0:22:070:22:10

Yeah, you clearly haven't read the comments, have you?

0:22:100:22:13

Hmm?

0:22:130:22:14

Oh, good grief!

0:22:140:22:16

That's not even spelled right!

0:22:160:22:19

I'm retiring from public life.

0:22:190:22:21

-Oh, shall I unblock you?

-No! Never!

0:22:230:22:26

Erm...

0:22:260:22:27

You did remember to take out the poops?

0:22:270:22:29

DAVE SCREAMS

0:22:290:22:31

Oh, that's just brilliant, isn't it?

0:22:320:22:35

It's the final round, so it's over to the Gory Grid

0:22:350:22:38

to find out what we've got.

0:22:380:22:39

It's the Incredible Inca.

0:22:430:22:45

Here's a game all about the Incan royal family

0:22:450:22:48

that'll have you spitting.

0:22:480:22:49

Off down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

0:22:490:22:51

Come on!

0:22:510:22:52

Off you go.

0:22:540:22:55

Yes, it's time for...

0:22:570:22:59

You are servants to the Incan Emperor.

0:23:010:23:04

Your job is to catch his spitballs

0:23:040:23:06

and deposit them in a bucket at the end of your lane.

0:23:060:23:09

But watch out for the troublesome spitting llamas,

0:23:090:23:12

who'll be making your jobs even more slippery.

0:23:120:23:15

The person with the most royal spitballs gets the Year Sphere.

0:23:150:23:18

The game starts in...

0:23:180:23:20

HORN BLOWS

0:23:230:23:25

Everyone's got their hankies and it's already raining spitballs!

0:23:250:23:29

Oh, look at that. Shai's away already!

0:23:290:23:31

Oh, my gosh. That one soaked her a bit.

0:23:310:23:33

But Dan and Shai are both on the scoreboard already. Come on, Eva!

0:23:330:23:38

Ah, there it is. Spitball number one and she's away.

0:23:380:23:40

Everyone's got phlegm in hand, they're racing down their lanes.

0:23:400:23:43

It's a scoring frenzy, Rattus.

0:23:430:23:45

Shai's hungry for more.

0:23:450:23:47

Shai is very hungry... Oh, that's an incredible catch by Dan!

0:23:470:23:50

If the Emperor wanted to spit, Rattus,

0:23:500:23:53

a servant held out their hand and the Emperor spat into it!

0:23:530:23:56

Doesn't sound like a great job.

0:23:560:23:58

-Did you at least get to keep the spit?

-No.

0:23:580:24:01

Not even if it was a big wobbly one? They're the best.

0:24:010:24:04

-Especially if they're green.

-Oh, crikey! I'll tell you what,

0:24:040:24:06

I haven't seen this much mucus flying around

0:24:060:24:08

since the last time you had a cold.

0:24:080:24:10

I hate colds, but I love mucus.

0:24:100:24:12

Oh!

0:24:120:24:13

-Here come the llamas!

-There they are!

0:24:130:24:15

They're going to be spitting on our contestants now.

0:24:150:24:19

And back at the game, Dan has a slight lead,

0:24:190:24:21

which he's just increased.

0:24:210:24:23

6-4-2. All even numbers.

0:24:230:24:26

Shai's spoiling that pattern and that llama looks furious about it!

0:24:260:24:30

-Oh, they're livid llamas!

-They are!

0:24:300:24:32

They need to wind their necks in for my money, Rattus.

0:24:320:24:34

They really, really do.

0:24:340:24:36

Llama spit, Emperor phlegm.

0:24:360:24:38

-This is one of the most disgusting games yet.

-Oh, yes!

0:24:380:24:41

-And I love it, Dave!

-I bet you do, I bet you do.

0:24:410:24:45

The toll of the bell.

0:24:450:24:46

30 seconds to go in the game.

0:24:460:24:48

Who is going to take this? It's very close.

0:24:480:24:50

Oh, my goodness me!

0:24:500:24:53

That is what you call a wipe-out! And wipe being the operative word.

0:24:530:24:58

Someone's nose is going to need a good'un.

0:24:580:25:00

Well, that's unfortunate, isn't it, Rattus?

0:25:000:25:02

Oh, yes. It's unfortunate but very funny.

0:25:020:25:04

Yeah, all right. I'll give you that. It is a little bit funny.

0:25:040:25:07

I'll tell you what.

0:25:070:25:08

If I had to describe this - absolute phlegmageddon.

0:25:080:25:13

It's all over.

0:25:130:25:14

Dan has won the final Year Sphere.

0:25:140:25:17

I couldn't get the last snotball in

0:25:170:25:18

because I kept slipping and I had to go legs first,

0:25:180:25:22

for if I went feet first,

0:25:220:25:23

I would've fallen over and splattered it,

0:25:230:25:26

so I'd get even more wet.

0:25:260:25:27

Ah, good work, everybody! Excellent stuff. Well done, Dan.

0:25:270:25:31

Go and choose yourself a Year Sphere.

0:25:310:25:33

Excellent work.

0:25:350:25:36

I hope this is a good one.

0:25:380:25:40

That's it.

0:25:410:25:42

All the Year Spheres have been won, and now it's time to count them up.

0:25:420:25:46

And remember, AD dates are added to your total

0:25:460:25:49

and BC dates are subtracted from it.

0:25:490:25:52

Here we go.

0:25:520:25:54

All right, Dan. Let's have a look at your first one.

0:25:540:25:58

1929 AD. The Wall Street crash was that year.

0:25:580:26:02

Let's have a look at that second one, Dan.

0:26:020:26:04

Oh, 1865 AD!

0:26:040:26:07

Abraham Lincoln was assassinated that year. It's a good score.

0:26:070:26:11

Eva, I don't think you can catch him,

0:26:110:26:13

but let's have a look inside that sphere.

0:26:130:26:16

1662 AD.

0:26:160:26:19

The last sighting of the dodo was that year.

0:26:190:26:23

Right, then, Shai. This is it.

0:26:230:26:24

This is where the game will be won or lost.

0:26:240:26:26

Let's have a look at that first one.

0:26:260:26:29

Oh, it's where the game will be lost!

0:26:290:26:32

3600 BC.

0:26:320:26:35

The first known mummification in Egypt round about then.

0:26:350:26:38

Let's have a look at the second one.

0:26:380:26:41

1776 AD.

0:26:410:26:44

The US Declaration of Independence was that year.

0:26:440:26:47

But it's not going to make any difference.

0:26:470:26:50

Dan, you have plucked up 3,794 points,

0:26:500:26:55

which means that you are this week's winner.

0:26:550:26:59

It also means that you deserve a fantastic prize.

0:26:590:27:02

Sadly, this is Gory Games,

0:27:020:27:04

and you'll be going home with something unspeakable

0:27:040:27:06

that's been dredged out of the Time Sewer by Rattus.

0:27:060:27:09

And it's a belter.

0:27:090:27:10

Cixi's fingernails.

0:27:100:27:13

She was the mother and aunt of a few Chinese emperors.

0:27:130:27:16

She had a son and one of her nephews killed just for disobeying her.

0:27:160:27:20

That is harsh parenting.

0:27:200:27:22

Anyway, she grew her fingernails really, really, really long.

0:27:220:27:26

Why on earth did she do that?!

0:27:260:27:28

So she could scratch servants as she passed by.

0:27:280:27:31

Of course.

0:27:310:27:32

Here you go, Dan. Be careful not to scratch herself.

0:27:320:27:36

Thank you very much, Dave.

0:27:360:27:38

You've taken it very well.

0:27:380:27:39

Time now, I'm afraid,

0:27:400:27:41

for our two gallant runners-up to head home via the Time Sewer.

0:27:410:27:47

And Shai doesn't look happy about it. He doesn't look happy at all.

0:27:470:27:49

Hope you have a good time through the gunge!

0:27:490:27:52

Oh, Eva, you've only just got cleaned up.

0:27:520:27:55

Well, he's been Rattus "Trending" Rattus.

0:27:550:27:58

And he's been Dave "Broke The Internet" Lamb.

0:27:580:28:01

Oh, no, I haven't, have I? I won't have to pay for that, will I?

0:28:010:28:03

-RATTUS SIGHS

-I give up.

0:28:030:28:05

EVA SCREAMS

0:28:050:28:06

-You've been watching Gory Games.

-Bye!

0:28:080:28:11

# Horrible Histories: Gory...

0:28:110:28:13

# Games! #

0:28:130:28:15

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS