Episode 1 HH: Gory Games


Episode 1

Quirky quizzes and gory games. Rattus is on a mission to raise Dave's internet profile (as well as his blood pressure).


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Transcript


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Rattus, dare I ask why you've put cameras all over my car?

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It's my brilliant new idea

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to improve your internet profile, Dave.

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Car-poo karaoke!

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All we need is one run-of-the-mill host, that's you,

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and one five-star celebrity.

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That's me! Time for some tunes.

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DRUMBEAT PLAYS

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# Because the poopers gonna poop, poop, poop

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# And the stinkers gonna stink, stink, stink

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# Baby, auntie's gonna whiff, whiff, whiff!

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# Plop it off, plop it off!

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# Cos I love a sewer works

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# You got to love a sewer works!

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# Make them go phew, ew, ew!

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# As you stink up to the sky-y-y! #

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Well, it's safe to say I will never be happier to arrive at the studio.

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# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

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# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

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# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

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# Better turn off This show ain't for you

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# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

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# With Horrible Histories: Gory Games

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# Horrible Histories: Gory...

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# ..Games! #

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Hello, and welcome to Gory Games,

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with me Dave Lamb.

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And me...

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Follow me on Instagram.

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Whatevs!

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Let's meet today's Horrible Historians.

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Hi, I'm Dan from Hertfordshire.

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Hi, I'm Eva and I'm from Tottenham.

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Hi, I'm Shai from Norfolk.

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Welcome, everyone. Right, you lot are playing to win Year Spheres.

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The person with the highest year score at the end of the show

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will win a prize dredged out of the Time Sewer by Rattus Rattus.

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That's @horriblerattus#

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Get with the lingo, Grandad.

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Time to crack on with round one.

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Let's go over to the Gory Grid to find out what it's all about.

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It's the Awesome USA!

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So, four questions on the Awesome USA coming up.

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The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

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And your four Awesome USA topics are...

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-So, Dan, you get to pick first in this first round.

-Civil War, please.

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The American Civil War it is.

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100 Union soldiers escaped the notorious Libby Prison

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through an abandoned area of the basement, known as...

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Show me now, please.

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Well, Daniel thinks it's B, Eva and Shai both think it's A.

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What's the answer, please?

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The answer is A.

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They escaped through Rat Hell, which was swarming with thousands

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and thousands of rats.

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Rat Hell? Sounds more like rat heaven to me.

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Yes, I'm sure it does, but whatever it sounds like to you,

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that's a point to Eva and Shai, good start.

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Eva, your turn to choose.

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-Gunpowder, please.

-That is a question from Rattus Rattus.

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During the American Civil War, the Rebel Army in the South

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ran very short of gunpowder,

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because it was made by the Yankees in the North.

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They found a way to make it using what? Was it...?

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Show me now, please.

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What's the answer, Rattus?

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The answer is C.

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You can also fire buffalo poo

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using a catapult made out of frog guts.

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We'll have to take your word for that, Rattus.

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Well done, Shai, it's a thunderingly good start

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and it's your turn to pick a topic.

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Can I have pets, please?

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In the 1820s, President John Quincy Adams

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used to hang out at the White House with his groovy pet.

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But what was it?

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Show me now, please.

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Oh! Everyone's gone for C. What's the answer?

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The answer is C.

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President Adams had a pet alligator.

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Far out, dudes!

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Oh, I can't stand alligators.

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They eat rats like they were some kind of snack.

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-Crisps or something.

-What, poo-flavoured crisps?

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Oh, someone should make those! They'd make a fortune.

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Ugh! That's a point to everybody. Well played, well played.

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One category left and that category is presents.

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In 1802, what rad present did the American town of Cheshire

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give President Thomas Jefferson?

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Let's see those answers.

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OK, Shai and Eva think it's A.

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Dan thinks it's C. Let's find out.

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The answer is C.

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The town gave the President a cheese that weighed over 550 kilos.

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Out of sight! They, like, sent the Big Cheese a big cheese!

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HE LAUGHS

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Well played, Dan, a good answer there.

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It was very close but, as we can see, at the end of that round,

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Shai, you have won the first Year Sphere.

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And that means it's also time for me to say...

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All hail the Potty Pyramid!

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And, Shai, imagine it's your nose and pick carefully.

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Yes, indeed. Because AD dates will be added to your total.

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Of course, BC dates will be subtracted from it.

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Now, winning the Awesome USA quiz means

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that Shai is automatically through to play the Awesome USA game.

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But will he be alone or will everyone get to play?

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Let's find out.

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Oh, it's a single player game.

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So, Shai, off down the Time Sewer on your own.

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Oh, it stinks!

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America's notorious gang, the Wild Bunch,

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robbed a train in 1899.

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Can you repeat their explosive exploits? As we play...

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Get the door to the carriage open to find three safes.

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Then, connect the right cable and blow them up.

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Until you find the one with the cash, and grab 50,000

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within the time limit to earn yourself a Year Sphere.

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Although, if you've got 50,000,

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you probably don't care about the Year Sphere.

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Oh, that's nonsense, of course you do!

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Go!

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So, the first thing this robber needs to do

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is actually get into the train carriage.

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It's Shai versus door.

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And surely, there can only be one winner here?

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Although you have to say, the door's holding

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its own at the moment, Rattus.

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No, of course, Shai has won that battle!

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And he's through, over to the fuses now.

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He's got to find the right one here.

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-Oh, this part always makes me hungry.

-Why is that, Rattus?

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-They look like intestines. Delicious!

-Oh, for heaven's sake.

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Well, I think that one's too short, I think we can all see that.

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Shai has certainly seen it, he's back to the barrel.

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This one looks much longer, he's just got to get to be other end.

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He's running over, he's onto a winner here, Rattus.

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Block your ears up, look out!

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Boom!

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He runs over to have a look.

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-It doesn't look like the right one to me, Rattus.

-No, Dave.

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You can tell that because there's not lots of money flying around.

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You're absolutely right. So, hang on, what's going on here?

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He's picked up another fuse!

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Only one of those fuses is long enough to reach.

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And that's the one that was in the other safe. That's not...

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You can stretch that as long as you like, Shai,

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you're going to have to revert to the other fuse.

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Well, he's worked it out.

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Fair play to him, Rattus, he's worked that out.

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The long fuse is attached, it's boom time!

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Boom! Oh, what a shame.

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Time for Shai to do his Old Mother Hubbard,

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the cupboard is very much bare.

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Now, he transfers that fuse to the final one.

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Surely, Rattus, it's got to be in there, hasn't it?

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Well, or someone's getting fired.

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-Hey!

-The safe is fired, there's money everywhere.

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Now he's got seven seconds to make 50 grand.

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I'm sorry, but that is not going to happen, is it, really?

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Bad luck, Shai.

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Yep, it's all over. Let's see how he's feeling.

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I was committing a crime. So, it's good that I got caught.

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Ah, bad luck, bad luck, Shai. Bad luck.

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No Year Sphere this time, but don't worry.

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Still plenty more Year Spheres to play for.

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-HE GASPS

-Dave, look!

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Our car-poo karaoke is blowing up.

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What, not like the safe?

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-No, it means people love it.

-Do they?

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# Because I'm whiffy...

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# Sing along if you feel like a message that just won't send

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# Because I'm whiffy...

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# Sing along if you feel like you're stuck in life's U-bend... #

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People on the internet like watching people singing in cars?

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-That's considered entertainment?

-Yes, Dave. It's the future.

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-I feel so old!

-Time to get with the interwebs, Grandpa.

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I'm going to make you an online sensation.

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Oh, goody.

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Maybe, before that, we can have round two.

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And to find out what's up next, let's go over to the Gory Grid.

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It's the Vile Victorians. Good day!

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And here are your all-important Vile Victorian topics...

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So, Eva, it's your turn to pick a topic first this time.

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I think I'll go with surgery, please.

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True or false?

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Before the Victorians invented anaesthetics to numb pain,

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some surgeons would knock their patients out

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by punching them on the jaw. Paff!

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Is that true or is that false? Show me now, please.

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Everybody thinks it's true. Let's find out if they're all right.

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It's true.

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Note to self, never visit a Victorian surgeon.

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Nowadays, of course, anaesthetics can be injected or inhaled as a gas.

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Personally, I prefer gas.

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HE FARTS

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Agh!

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Knockout!

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OK, that's a point to everyone there.

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Well played, well played indeed.

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Shai, your turn to pick a topic.

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Queen Victoria, please.

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True or false? When the Shah of Persia visited Buckingham Palace

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in 1873, he surprised Queen Victoria by juggling with the Crown Jewels.

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Is that true or is that false? Let's have a look at your answers.

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They all think it's false this time. What's the answer, please?

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It's false.

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In fact, the Shah surprised the Queen by sacrificing

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a sheep on one of her expensive carpets.

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Funny, I thought the Queen liked a red carpet!

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HE LAUGHS He liked that one.

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Excellent work, everybody, maximum points so far in this round.

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-Dan, your turn.

-Health, please.

-Health.

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Now, that is a prop question.

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-ALL:

-Prop question, prop question, prop question!

-Prop question!

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Yes, it's a new beard.

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True or false?

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In the Victorian era, doctors prescribed beards for men

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to keep them healthy.

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Is that true or is that false?

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Let's see your answers.

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Well, I can tell you it is true!

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Yes!

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Yes, it was thought that beards acted as a filter

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for diseases in the air.

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I can tell you, they don't.

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My facial hair traps diseases.

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Only so I can pass them on.

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-Kisses, Dave?

-Erm, maybe not.

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And for future reference and to save you time,

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-that will always be the answer.

-Oh!

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So, excellent, Dan and Eva, another point for you,

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you're all still in this around, though.

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The final topic is Charles Dickens and here comes the question.

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True or false?

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As a child, Charles Dickens worked in a boot-blacking factory

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as a rat exterminator.

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Oh, please be false, please be false!

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Show me those answers now, please.

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Everyone thinks it's false.

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What's the answer?

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It's false.

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Dickens used to put labels on jars of polish.

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-Phewee!

-Result for Rattus there.

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Charles Dickens used his experiences in the factory

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to write the novels Oliver Twist and David Copperfield.

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I did not know that!

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Nor did I, I've just read it off this card.

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Wow, what a round!

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Dan and Eva, maximum points,

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Shai, just for the moment, you're history.

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But, for you two, it's a tie-breaker situation.

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Fingers on buzzers. Buzz in when you think you know the answer.

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Beginning with the letter L, Florence Nightingale, the famous...

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-Eva?

-Erm, was it...?

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A... Was it...?

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-Oh, I've forgotten now!

-You forgot?

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Oh, I thought that was going to be extraordinary.

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OK, the whole question for you then, Dan.

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Beginning with the letter L, Florence Nightingale,

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the famous nurse, is often known as The Lady With The what?

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Lady With The Lamp.

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Lamp is correct! Congratulations, Dan.

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You can help yourself to a Year Sphere.

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Excellent choice, or is it?

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OK, Dan, you're through to play the Victorian game,

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but will it just be you or will the others get to come along, too?

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Let's have a look.

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It's an All Play game!

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So, that means it's down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

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Lead us off, Shai!

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-Oh, stink!

-Oh, man, it really stinks in here.

-Get some air conditioning.

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In Victorian times, they sent children up chimneys to clean them.

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Hard to see how sending a filthy street urchin up a chimney

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would actually make it cleaner, but never mind.

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Because it's time to play...

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You have to scramble up the chimney and shift four blockages.

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The first person to pop their sweep brush

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out of the chimney is the winner.

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And it's a nice, smooth start from everyone,

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and they're off to the first blockage, Rattus.

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Dan picks up his nest, he's heading back.

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Eva and Shai close behind, or should I say hot on his heels?

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Do you get it, Rattus, because of the fire?

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Do I even need to say it, Dave?

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-Leave the jokes to you?

-Exactly.

-Fine.

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This is all looking very close, it has to be said.

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Victorian children would sometimes get stuck up narrow chimneys.

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I once got stuck up a drainpipe. It was terrible.

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It rained and I got washed completely clean.

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Yeah, I wish we could arrange for that to happen again,

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Rattus, I don't mind telling you.

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Now, Shai has taken lead but,

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very quickly, Dan equalises and Eva's back in it, too.

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This is tight, this is very, very tight,

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but Shai is maintaining a slight advantage.

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That's three obstacles already.

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Now, Eva's having a bit of trouble getting that nest free,

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and here comes the master chimney sweep

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to give Dan some encouragement.

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Encouragement in the form of a poke with a pin!

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Well, it was horrible but it does seem to have worked,

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he scores again.

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Amazing that children as young as five did this job, Rattus.

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I know! "Happy birthday, son. Here's your present, a brush.

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"Now, get up that chimney!"

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And Shai has completed his fourth and final obstacle.

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It's a straight arm race up the chimney now.

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There he is, hand over hand over hand.

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He's just got to get to the end,

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he's not going to be caught from here.

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Watch his head hit the brush.

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Boomer! Broom's out the end, Shai is the champion cleaner.

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How was that, fella?

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The hardest part was trying to untie the crows and the nest.

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But I've made up my time by being really fast on the trolley.

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Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

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Congratulations, Shai.

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Help yourself to another Year Sphere, fella.

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Lovely. Lovely stuff.

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Oh, is that going to be important, that one? We'll find out later.

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Right, Dave, I've set you up your own PooTube channel.

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A channel called Dave? That's never going to work, is it?

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Now, then, I want you to unpack this box in front of the camera.

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-Why?

-It's an unboxing video.

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People like watching people unboxing things on the internet.

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Do they, really?

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Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

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This is going to contain a poo, isn't it?

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-HE SIGHS

-Dave, would I be so obvious?

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Give me some credit.

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Oh!

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-I thought you said it wouldn't be a poo.

-It's not.

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-It's five poos.

-Urgh!

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Can't believe that's happened again.

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Right, round three

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and it's over to the Gory Grid to find out what's up next.

0:16:420:16:45

It's the Groovy Greeks.

0:16:460:16:48

Four questions, as always, and here are your four Greek topics.

0:16:490:16:54

So, Shai, it is your turn to pick first this time.

0:17:000:17:02

-What are you going for?

-Alexander the Great, please.

0:17:020:17:06

Let's hear that question, please.

0:17:060:17:07

True or false?

0:17:070:17:09

Alexander the Great untied the supposedly impossible Gordian knot

0:17:090:17:13

by setting it on fire.

0:17:130:17:15

Is that true or is that false?

0:17:150:17:17

Let's see.

0:17:170:17:19

What's the answer, please?

0:17:190:17:20

It's...false.

0:17:200:17:22

Alexander the Great chopped the Gordian knot in two with his sword.

0:17:220:17:25

He should really have been called Alexander the Cheat.

0:17:280:17:30

He certainly should. Well, that's a point apiece for Eva and Shai.

0:17:300:17:35

Dan, pick a topic.

0:17:350:17:37

-Guts, please.

-Guts!

0:17:370:17:39

That is a prop question.

0:17:390:17:42

Oh, prop question!

0:17:420:17:44

-ALL:

-Prop question! Prop question! Prop question!

0:17:440:17:47

Prop question.

0:17:470:17:49

The ancient Greeks read the future using the guts of dead birds.

0:17:490:17:54

True or false?

0:17:550:17:56

Show me your answers, please.

0:17:560:17:58

And the answer is that it is...true!

0:17:580:18:01

I predict a short life for this bird.

0:18:020:18:04

Points for everyone there. Lovely stuff. Lovely stuff.

0:18:040:18:08

-Eva, what'll you have?

-Can I have Aesop, please?

0:18:080:18:11

You certainly can.

0:18:110:18:12

True or false?

0:18:120:18:14

The ancient Greek storyteller Aesop was richly rewarded

0:18:140:18:17

by the Prince of Delphi for his work.

0:18:170:18:19

Show me now, please.

0:18:190:18:20

What's the answer?

0:18:220:18:23

It's false.

0:18:230:18:24

They threw Aesop off a cliff.

0:18:240:18:26

I love a story with a happy ending.

0:18:260:18:29

Apparently, one of Aesop's stories is about a rat and an elephant.

0:18:290:18:33

A nimble, clever rat and a slow, old, lumbering creature.

0:18:330:18:38

Sound familiar, Dave?

0:18:380:18:40

And the moral of this tale is never work with Rattus.

0:18:400:18:44

That's a point apiece for Dan and Eva. Still all to play for.

0:18:440:18:49

One topic remaining, and it is slaves.

0:18:490:18:53

True or false?

0:18:530:18:55

Wealthy Greeks would send their slaves to sit on toilet seats

0:18:550:18:58

to warm them up before they sat on them.

0:18:580:19:01

Show me now, please.

0:19:010:19:02

What's the answer, please?

0:19:020:19:04

It's true.

0:19:040:19:05

Toasty. Nice.

0:19:050:19:07

Oh, yeah. There's nothing worse than a freezing cold toilet seat.

0:19:070:19:11

Except when you're licking it,

0:19:110:19:12

cos sometimes you can get your tongue stuck.

0:19:120:19:14

Never engage him in conversation.

0:19:170:19:19

A point apiece, then, for Dan and Eva.

0:19:190:19:21

And at the end of that round, we can see that, with a full house,

0:19:210:19:24

Eva is the winner of her first Year Sphere.

0:19:240:19:27

Help yourself.

0:19:270:19:28

All the way round, eh? All the way around there. Lovely.

0:19:350:19:38

So, as the winner of the Greek Quiz,

0:19:380:19:40

Eva is through to play the Greek Game.

0:19:400:19:43

But will it be just Eva,

0:19:430:19:44

or will the others get to play as well? Let's find out.

0:19:440:19:47

It's a single player game, Eva.

0:19:490:19:52

So off down that Time Sewer, on your own.

0:19:520:19:54

-Adios!

-Adios, amigo!

0:19:560:19:58

Have you got what it takes to be a Spartan warrior?

0:20:010:20:04

Let's find out as we play...

0:20:040:20:06

You are a young Spartan learning how to be a sneaky warrior.

0:20:080:20:13

You need to climb through the vines

0:20:130:20:14

and steal the sleeping soldier's lunch without waking him.

0:20:140:20:17

But mind the bells.

0:20:170:20:19

Three rings and it's wakey-wakey!

0:20:190:20:21

So, Eva, are you ready?

0:20:220:20:24

Shh!

0:20:280:20:29

Now, that first bell is the school bell.

0:20:300:20:32

That doesn't count against her.

0:20:320:20:33

-Eva making a cautious start, but cautious is good in this game.

-Yeah.

0:20:330:20:39

Listen to that Spartan snoring.

0:20:390:20:41

You know, Spartan boys really did learn to steal, Rattus.

0:20:410:20:44

It's just like rat school.

0:20:440:20:45

Rats have a school? How big were your classes?

0:20:450:20:48

-Pretty small. Just 300 pupils.

-Crikey.

0:20:480:20:51

She's looking a little bit...

0:20:510:20:52

BELL RINGS

0:20:520:20:54

Oh, no! Now, that's bell number one.

0:20:540:20:55

The Spartan is stirring, but he's back to sleep.

0:20:550:20:59

She's right back to it, too, taking a lot of care now.

0:20:590:21:03

And, Rattus, she's nearly through the first maze.

0:21:030:21:05

-In fact, as I say that, she exits.

-Excellent.

0:21:050:21:08

This one's trickier, though, but I think Eva can handle this.

0:21:080:21:11

BELL RINGS

0:21:110:21:12

-Oh, no!

-You jinxed her there, Dave!

0:21:120:21:14

Oh, that was the commentator's curse, wasn't it, Rattus?

0:21:140:21:17

She's only got one bell left now.

0:21:170:21:18

She's going to have to be very careful indeed.

0:21:180:21:21

BELL RINGS

0:21:210:21:22

-Oh, there goes the final bell!

-No supper for Eva!

0:21:220:21:26

No supper at all, Rattus, just a really angry Spartan.

0:21:260:21:30

And he really does look furious.

0:21:300:21:32

And sensibly, Eva's making a break for it.

0:21:320:21:34

Wow, that's a close escape! Let's hear from her.

0:21:340:21:37

The Spartan teacher was quite scary,

0:21:370:21:41

because he chased me up the Time Sewer,

0:21:410:21:43

but it was really, really fun.

0:21:430:21:45

Oh, unlucky there! Bad luck.

0:21:450:21:47

Welcome back. No Year Sphere this time, I'm afraid.

0:21:470:21:52

DAVE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:21:520:21:54

Cheers.

0:21:540:21:55

Hey, you won't believe it, Rattus,

0:21:580:22:00

but all your stupid videos have really paid off.

0:22:000:22:02

I've now got a huge sponsorship for my channel.

0:22:020:22:04

Check it out! Check it out! Look! I've got even more hits than you.

0:22:040:22:07

People love me. They love me!

0:22:070:22:10

Yeah, you clearly haven't read the comments, have you?

0:22:100:22:13

Hmm?

0:22:130:22:14

Oh, good grief!

0:22:140:22:16

That's not even spelled right!

0:22:160:22:19

I'm retiring from public life.

0:22:190:22:21

-Oh, shall I unblock you?

-No! Never!

0:22:230:22:26

Erm...

0:22:260:22:27

You did remember to take out the poops?

0:22:270:22:29

DAVE SCREAMS

0:22:290:22:31

Oh, that's just brilliant, isn't it?

0:22:320:22:35

It's the final round, so it's over to the Gory Grid

0:22:350:22:38

to find out what we've got.

0:22:380:22:39

It's the Incredible Inca.

0:22:430:22:45

Here's a game all about the Incan royal family

0:22:450:22:48

that'll have you spitting.

0:22:480:22:49

Off down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

0:22:490:22:51

Come on!

0:22:510:22:52

Off you go.

0:22:540:22:55

Yes, it's time for...

0:22:570:22:59

You are servants to the Incan Emperor.

0:23:010:23:04

Your job is to catch his spitballs

0:23:040:23:06

and deposit them in a bucket at the end of your lane.

0:23:060:23:09

But watch out for the troublesome spitting llamas,

0:23:090:23:12

who'll be making your jobs even more slippery.

0:23:120:23:15

The person with the most royal spitballs gets the Year Sphere.

0:23:150:23:18

The game starts in...

0:23:180:23:20

HORN BLOWS

0:23:230:23:25

Everyone's got their hankies and it's already raining spitballs!

0:23:250:23:29

Oh, look at that. Shai's away already!

0:23:290:23:31

Oh, my gosh. That one soaked her a bit.

0:23:310:23:33

But Dan and Shai are both on the scoreboard already. Come on, Eva!

0:23:330:23:38

Ah, there it is. Spitball number one and she's away.

0:23:380:23:40

Everyone's got phlegm in hand, they're racing down their lanes.

0:23:400:23:43

It's a scoring frenzy, Rattus.

0:23:430:23:45

Shai's hungry for more.

0:23:450:23:47

Shai is very hungry... Oh, that's an incredible catch by Dan!

0:23:470:23:50

If the Emperor wanted to spit, Rattus,

0:23:500:23:53

a servant held out their hand and the Emperor spat into it!

0:23:530:23:56

Doesn't sound like a great job.

0:23:560:23:58

-Did you at least get to keep the spit?

-No.

0:23:580:24:01

Not even if it was a big wobbly one? They're the best.

0:24:010:24:04

-Especially if they're green.

-Oh, crikey! I'll tell you what,

0:24:040:24:06

I haven't seen this much mucus flying around

0:24:060:24:08

since the last time you had a cold.

0:24:080:24:10

I hate colds, but I love mucus.

0:24:100:24:12

Oh!

0:24:120:24:13

-Here come the llamas!

-There they are!

0:24:130:24:15

They're going to be spitting on our contestants now.

0:24:150:24:19

And back at the game, Dan has a slight lead,

0:24:190:24:21

which he's just increased.

0:24:210:24:23

6-4-2. All even numbers.

0:24:230:24:26

Shai's spoiling that pattern and that llama looks furious about it!

0:24:260:24:30

-Oh, they're livid llamas!

-They are!

0:24:300:24:32

They need to wind their necks in for my money, Rattus.

0:24:320:24:34

They really, really do.

0:24:340:24:36

Llama spit, Emperor phlegm.

0:24:360:24:38

-This is one of the most disgusting games yet.

-Oh, yes!

0:24:380:24:41

-And I love it, Dave!

-I bet you do, I bet you do.

0:24:410:24:45

The toll of the bell.

0:24:450:24:46

30 seconds to go in the game.

0:24:460:24:48

Who is going to take this? It's very close.

0:24:480:24:50

Oh, my goodness me!

0:24:500:24:53

That is what you call a wipe-out! And wipe being the operative word.

0:24:530:24:58

Someone's nose is going to need a good'un.

0:24:580:25:00

Well, that's unfortunate, isn't it, Rattus?

0:25:000:25:02

Oh, yes. It's unfortunate but very funny.

0:25:020:25:04

Yeah, all right. I'll give you that. It is a little bit funny.

0:25:040:25:07

I'll tell you what.

0:25:070:25:08

If I had to describe this - absolute phlegmageddon.

0:25:080:25:13

It's all over.

0:25:130:25:14

Dan has won the final Year Sphere.

0:25:140:25:17

I couldn't get the last snotball in

0:25:170:25:18

because I kept slipping and I had to go legs first,

0:25:180:25:22

for if I went feet first,

0:25:220:25:23

I would've fallen over and splattered it,

0:25:230:25:26

so I'd get even more wet.

0:25:260:25:27

Ah, good work, everybody! Excellent stuff. Well done, Dan.

0:25:270:25:31

Go and choose yourself a Year Sphere.

0:25:310:25:33

Excellent work.

0:25:350:25:36

I hope this is a good one.

0:25:380:25:40

That's it.

0:25:410:25:42

All the Year Spheres have been won, and now it's time to count them up.

0:25:420:25:46

And remember, AD dates are added to your total

0:25:460:25:49

and BC dates are subtracted from it.

0:25:490:25:52

Here we go.

0:25:520:25:54

All right, Dan. Let's have a look at your first one.

0:25:540:25:58

1929 AD. The Wall Street crash was that year.

0:25:580:26:02

Let's have a look at that second one, Dan.

0:26:020:26:04

Oh, 1865 AD!

0:26:040:26:07

Abraham Lincoln was assassinated that year. It's a good score.

0:26:070:26:11

Eva, I don't think you can catch him,

0:26:110:26:13

but let's have a look inside that sphere.

0:26:130:26:16

1662 AD.

0:26:160:26:19

The last sighting of the dodo was that year.

0:26:190:26:23

Right, then, Shai. This is it.

0:26:230:26:24

This is where the game will be won or lost.

0:26:240:26:26

Let's have a look at that first one.

0:26:260:26:29

Oh, it's where the game will be lost!

0:26:290:26:32

3600 BC.

0:26:320:26:35

The first known mummification in Egypt round about then.

0:26:350:26:38

Let's have a look at the second one.

0:26:380:26:41

1776 AD.

0:26:410:26:44

The US Declaration of Independence was that year.

0:26:440:26:47

But it's not going to make any difference.

0:26:470:26:50

Dan, you have plucked up 3,794 points,

0:26:500:26:55

which means that you are this week's winner.

0:26:550:26:59

It also means that you deserve a fantastic prize.

0:26:590:27:02

Sadly, this is Gory Games,

0:27:020:27:04

and you'll be going home with something unspeakable

0:27:040:27:06

that's been dredged out of the Time Sewer by Rattus.

0:27:060:27:09

And it's a belter.

0:27:090:27:10

Cixi's fingernails.

0:27:100:27:13

She was the mother and aunt of a few Chinese emperors.

0:27:130:27:16

She had a son and one of her nephews killed just for disobeying her.

0:27:160:27:20

That is harsh parenting.

0:27:200:27:22

Anyway, she grew her fingernails really, really, really long.

0:27:220:27:26

Why on earth did she do that?!

0:27:260:27:28

So she could scratch servants as she passed by.

0:27:280:27:31

Of course.

0:27:310:27:32

Here you go, Dan. Be careful not to scratch herself.

0:27:320:27:36

Thank you very much, Dave.

0:27:360:27:38

You've taken it very well.

0:27:380:27:39

Time now, I'm afraid,

0:27:400:27:41

for our two gallant runners-up to head home via the Time Sewer.

0:27:410:27:47

And Shai doesn't look happy about it. He doesn't look happy at all.

0:27:470:27:49

Hope you have a good time through the gunge!

0:27:490:27:52

Oh, Eva, you've only just got cleaned up.

0:27:520:27:55

Well, he's been Rattus "Trending" Rattus.

0:27:550:27:58

And he's been Dave "Broke The Internet" Lamb.

0:27:580:28:01

Oh, no, I haven't, have I? I won't have to pay for that, will I?

0:28:010:28:03

-RATTUS SIGHS

-I give up.

0:28:030:28:05

EVA SCREAMS

0:28:050:28:06

-You've been watching Gory Games.

-Bye!

0:28:080:28:11

# Horrible Histories: Gory...

0:28:110:28:13

# Games! #

0:28:130:28:15

Rattus is on a mission to raise Dave's internet profile (as well as his blood pressure) and Dan, Eva and Shai compete to win Year Spheres in games including A Brush With Death and Phlegm Fling. Definitely not for the faint hearted.


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