Episode 2 HH: Gory Games


Episode 2

Quirky quizzes and gory games. Rattus becomes a suff-RAT-gette campaigning for rat rights and Seb, Brooke and Nathan battle it out to win Year Spheres.


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Transcript


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# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

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# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

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# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

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# Better turn off This show ain't for you

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# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

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# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

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# Horrible Histories Gory...

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# ..Games! #

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Welcome to Gory Games. I'm Dave Lamb, and this is...

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Votes for rats! Votes for rats!

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What are you doing, Rattus?

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I'm campaigning for rat rights. I'm a suffratgette.

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You know, like the suffragettes who campaigned for...

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For women's rights, yes, I do get it.

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Yeah, well, there are tens of millions of rats in the UK,

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but do we get any say in how the country is run?

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No! Votes for rats! Votes for rats!

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This is going to be one of those shows. Ha-ha!

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Let's meet today's Horrible Historians.

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Hi, I'm Seb, and I'm from Cheshire.

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Hi, I'm Brooke, and I'm from Kettering.

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Hi, I'm Nathan, and I'm from London.

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-Welcome, everybody. Right, you are playing to win...

-Votes for rats!

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Votes for rats!

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You are playing to win Year Spheres.

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The person with the highest year score at the end of the show

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will win a prize fished out of the Time Sewer

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by famous rat rights campaigner Rattus Rattus.

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Votes for rats!

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Yes. Time to crack on, I think, with Round One.

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Let's find out what it's about by going over to the Gory Grid.

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It's the Incredible Inca.

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So, four questions on the Incredible Inca coming up.

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The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere,

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and your four Incredible Inca topics are...

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So, Seb, you get to pick first in this first round.

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Which one of those takes your fancy?

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-I'll go for Punishments.

-Punishments.

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Let's hear that question.

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The Incas' punishment for rebelling against the state

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was having a slow, agonising death,

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with your bones being turned into what?

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Show me now, please.

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Everyone's gone for B.

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Let's find out if they're all right or if they're all wrong.

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The answer is...

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Musical instruments!

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I like to play music with my friend Maita.

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This is Maita.

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PLAYS A TUNE

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Poor old Maita!

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Well, a point for everyone, there. Excellent start.

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Brooke, your turn to pick a topic.

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-Erm... Can I have Myths, please?

-Myths it is.

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We Inca believe that Manco Capac,

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the sun god who became the first lord of the Incas,

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killed two of his brothers by turning them into what?

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Show me now, please.

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Hoo-hoo!

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Total agreement once again! What's the answer, please?

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The answer is...

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He wanted to rule alone,

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so the first lord turned his brothers to stone.

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-Paper would have been better.

-How come?

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Well, stone beats scissors, but paper beats stone.

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Yeah, I walked into that one, didn't I?

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You always do, Dave.

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No points scored there, I'm afraid. Nathan, what's your topic?

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-Can I have Fish, please?

-You certainly can.

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The Inca had a relay team of runners to take messages round the Empire.

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One emperor also used them to bring him fish from the coast.

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If the fish wasn't still fresh, what happened to the messenger?

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Let's have a look at those answers, please.

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They've agreed again!

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They've totally agreed on everything!

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-Let's have a look at the answer.

-The answer is...

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Whatever happened to "don't shoot the messenger"? Eh?

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-HE SNIFFS

-Ooh...

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Superb work, everybody.

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A point apiece, and we come down to our final topic, Bracelets.

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At festivals, Inca would wear shaker bracelets

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on their wrists and ankles made of llama what?

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Show me now, please.

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Right, we have a disagreement at last!

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What's the answer, please?

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The answer is...

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Llama toenails.

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Ooh, I think I know what I want from Santa this Christmas.

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Yeah, well, that would require you being good all year, Rattus.

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Fair point.

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Not going to happen, is it? You can kiss that goodbye.

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OK, that means that Brooke and Nathan,

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you have another point each, and we have a tie-breaker situation.

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Seb, for now, you're history.

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Brooke and Nathan, here comes your tie-breaker question.

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Beginning with the letter D, name the musical instrument

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that Incas would sometimes make out of the skin of their enemy.

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-Brooke.

-Drum.

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Drum is the correct answer, well done, Brooke, you have won the quiz.

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It's time to choose your Year Sphere,

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which means it's also time for me to say...

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-WHISPERS:

-Votes for rats.

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Votes...

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No!

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All hail the Potty Pyramid.

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Brooke, help yourself to the first Year Sphere.

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Choose wisely, Brooke!

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Oh... AD dates, of course, will be added to your total score,

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but BC dates will be subtracted from it.

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We'll find out what's in there later on.

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OK, Brooke, so as the winner, you're through to play the Inca Game,

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but will it be just you, or is everyone coming along?

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Let's find out, shall we?

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Wow, it's a single player game, so Brooke,

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it's just you off down the Time Sewer.

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Sorry, it's a bit stinky.

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HE COUGHS Crikey.

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She's completely disappeared!

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You'll need guts to play this game, literally.

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It's time to carry out a royal Inca mummification as we play...

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Nothing too complicated, pull the guts out, stuff the herbs in,

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swap the eyeballs for shells, add the rope, wig and headpiece,

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and hey presto, one Inca mummy.

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If you can do all that in the time limit,

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you'll scoop another Year Sphere for your collection.

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Are you ready, Brooke?

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In three...

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two...

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one...

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Now!

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And sensibly, Brooke heads straight for the instructions.

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She knows it's guts out first.

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-Looking a bit hesitant, there, though.

-I wouldn't hesitate, Dave.

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That looks delicious!

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-Save some for me, Brooke!

-Please don't do that, Brooke.

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Anyway, away with the guts.

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Now, she's walking - quite slowly, it has to be said,

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I'd pick up the pace if I were her.

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-She's found the horrible green things.

-They're herbs, Rattus.

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The Inca would stuff the body cavity with them, as Brooke is doing now.

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Yeah well, oh... Urgh!

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Look at her digging around for those eyeballs.

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It's less scooping out eyeballs,

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and more repeatedly jabbing a spoon into the face!

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Well, they're loose, they are loose, and they're on the loose.

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Back to the table for the shells,

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quick glance at the instructions - sensible - and they're in.

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-Right, here comes the best part.

-I can't watch this.

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She's got to get the mummy into a sitting position.

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She's fast running out of time.

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I did not know human knees made noises like that.

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They're really not supposed to, Rattus, not at all.

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I think I'm going to be sick!

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-Ooh, save some for me, Dave!

-Bleurgh!

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-Try and get some in my lunchbox.

-Oh, that's disgusting!

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Well, that's going to have to be good enough.

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She's moving onto the ropes now.

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I have to say,

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that mummy is not looking exactly like the finished one,

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but it is Brooke's first time.

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At least we hope it is.

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Oh, now, now, she's left the headdress, I notice,

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-but to be honest, she doesn't have enough time.

-No!

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Oh, it's all over. Great effort.

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Let's see what she thought of that.

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I had trouble with the eyes.

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They were very difficult to get out of the head,

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especially with the spoon.

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Oh, bad luck, Brooke, bad luck.

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No Year Sphere this time, but listen, don't worry -

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there are still plenty more to play for.

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What is it now, Rattus?

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I'm taking my rights for rats campaign straight to the top,

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just like two suffragettes did in 1909,

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and I'm posting myself to the Prime Minister.

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Rattus, you do know there's a cat that lives at Number Ten?

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Oh.

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Didn't totally think that through, did I?

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No, Rattus. This is quite the most half-witted campaign in history.

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HE SOBS

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Can't you read? It says I'm fragile.

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HE SOBS

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Come here. Come here.

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Gentle, gentle.

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All right? RATTUS SOBS

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On to Round Two, and to find out what's next,

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it's over to the Gory Grid.

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It's the Measly Middle Ages.

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And here are your all-important Middle Ages topics.

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So, Brooke, it is your turn to pick first this time.

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Which of those would you like?

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-The Black Death, please.

-Let's hear that question.

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True or false?

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In 1349, the Black Death hit England,

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but had not yet reached Scotland,

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so the Scots went to the border and jeered at the English.

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Is that true or is that false? Let's have a look.

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Ooh... Seb and Brooke think it's false, Nathan thinks it's true.

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What's the answer, please?

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It's false.

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The Scots invaded England

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to attack while the English defences were down,

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but they caught the plague themselves

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and took it back to Scotland.

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Talk about shooting yourself in the foot!

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Oh, did they do that as well?

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It's an expression, Rattus.

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What, like "a poo a day keeps the doctor away"?

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Kind of.

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That's a point apiece, then, for Seb and for Brooke. Nice start.

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Nathan, what would you like?

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Can I have Rules, please?

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Rules it is. Let's hear it.

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True or false - at tournaments, knights fought each other

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but they were not allowed to attack someone who was unarmed.

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Is that true or is that false? Let's have a look.

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Oh, Brooke and Nathan agreeing this time with true.

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Seb thinks it's false. What's the answer, please?

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It's false.

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It was fine for knights to attack an unarmed man.

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So much for chivalry, eh?

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So much indeed. It's a point for Seb, though.

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He'll be pleased with that. Seb, it's your turn to pick now.

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I'll go with Food.

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-Food. Now, that is a question from Rattus Rattus.

-Certainly is.

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-Can you see that in your bag?

-I certainly can, here we go.

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True or false - you could get takeaway food delivered

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to your door in the Middle Ages.

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So is that true or is that false? Show me now, please.

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Nathan and Brooke agreeing again with false.

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Seb thinks it's true. What's the answer, Rattus?

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It is indeed true!

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You could get roast thrushes and hot sheep's feet.

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Oh, I bet you fancy a hot sheep's foot, don't you, Rattus?

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No, not me. I'm going on hunger strike, like some suffragettes did.

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Until rats get the right to vote, I'm not eating another thing.

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Well, we'll see how long that lasts, won't we?

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Well done, Seb, that's another point for you.

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And with only one question left in this round, I can say that you

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have won yourself a Year Sphere. Help yourself, fella.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Ooh, not that one.

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Pay no attention to Rattus, Seb.

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We'll find out what's in there later on.

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OK, Seb's through to play the Middle Ages game, but will he

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be alone or will the others get to play too?

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Let's find out, shall we?

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It's an All Play game! So it's off down the time sewer

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with the lot of you. Lead us off, Nathan.

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Have you got the fight to be a knight?

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Yes, it's time to play not Lance-a-bit, but...

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HORSE NEIGHS

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One of the ways a medieval knight practised their lance skills

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was by running the rings. So you have to head around the course

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skewering the rings and putting them into your basket.

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The first person to collect five rings will become the proud owner

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of a Year Sphere.

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They're under starters orders.

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HORN BLARES And they're off!

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Well, it's a bit of cautious start from all three of them here.

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Looks like everyone's just getting a feel for those horses.

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I know some mice who play this game with pencils and Hula Hoops.

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Ho-ho! Now that I'd like to see.

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So, Brooke and Nathan both headed down the home straight here.

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Nathan drops his ring off like a pro there.

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And hot on his heels, here comes Brooke.

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-Equalling the score!

-Oh, this is going to be close, Dave.

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It certainly feels that way. Seb's on the scoreboard too,

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but Nathan, he's already dropping number two, look!

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And here comes Brooke.

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Now can she...

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Yes, she can!

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But Nathan's already grabbing his third.

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Seb drops off his second, but it's Nathan with this third.

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He really is very fast on that horse!

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He really is. Oh, look, hang on. What have we here?

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Look out, two horse pile-up!

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Seb and Brooke locked horse head to horse head.

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No-one's giving way!

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Deadlock broken now, but that will have cost both of them, Rattus.

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Nathan really pulling away now.

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That one means he's only got one more to go!

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Brooke desperately trying to close the gap.

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And oh! It's out! It's out, Rattus.

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It was in and out, you hate to see that.

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-I do hate to see that, Dave.

-Seb scores next.

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Nathan just needs to drop this off and he's won!

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Oh, look, it's out again!

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-We should check that basket for spring!

-Well, let's hope

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there's no springs in there, that really would bring the game

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into disrepute.

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Look at this, it's getting very, very close at the end now!

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Nathan is on the charge! Seb delivering one there, but he's not

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in contention at the moment.

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Is this going in? He takes his time, he secures the game.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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I feel really happy and now I've got a Year Sphere.

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What about those controversial fisty hooves halfway through?

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I've got one thing to say...

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it was all her fault!

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He stopped horizontally.

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She stopped her horse.

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I couldn't do anything about it.

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All right, you two, let's just leave it all on the field of play,

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shall we?

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Excellent work, everybody, excellent work.

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Nathan, please help yourself to a Year Sphere.

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-And you are?

-Emmeline Pankhurst.

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-Oh, wow! The leader of the Suffragette Movement!

-Yes, Dave.

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I've invited her to come and help me mastermind my campaign -

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Votes For Rats.

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What do you say, Emmeline?

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Vermin! Kill the vermin!

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Oh! Goodness sake!

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He went that way!

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Kill the vermin!

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RATTUS PANTS FOR BREATH

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You've got to admit "kill the vermin" is a lot catchier

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than "votes for rats."

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That's not funny!

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Well, it's quite funny.

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Right, Round Three, and it's over to the Gory Grid to find out

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what's up next.

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It's the Awesome USA!

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Four questions, as always, and your four Awesome USA topics are...

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So, Nathan, it's your turn to lead us off this time.

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-Which of those do you fancy?

-Can I have Harriet Tubman?

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Harriet Tubman was a slave who escaped and went on to free

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many other slaves.

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Go, sister.

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She used to distract the attention of slave owners

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by carrying a what?

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CHICKENS CLUCK

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RAT SQUEAKS

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GLASS SMASHES

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Show me those answers now, please.

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Seb and Brooke agree with B, Nathan thinks it's A.

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Let's find out.

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The answer is...

0:15:520:15:54

She carried a chicken to distract the slave owners, and it worked.

0:15:540:15:59

Sweet!

0:15:590:16:01

They clearly were a bunch of idiots.

0:16:010:16:04

Very nasty idiots.

0:16:040:16:06

Nathan, congratulations. A point for you. A good start.

0:16:060:16:09

Seb, your turn to choose.

0:16:090:16:11

-I'm going to go with Presidents, please.

-Presidents, it is.

0:16:110:16:15

George Washington was like the first president of the United States,

0:16:150:16:18

but when he died - heavy, man - what did his friend William Thornton

0:16:180:16:24

want to do with his body?

0:16:240:16:26

GROANING

0:16:280:16:29

CANNON FIRES

0:16:300:16:32

TAPPING

0:16:320:16:33

Show me your answers now, please.

0:16:330:16:35

Seb and Brooke agreeing with B, Nathan thinks it's A.

0:16:350:16:38

What's the answer, please?

0:16:380:16:39

The answer is...

0:16:390:16:41

Dr Thornton wanted to try to bring President Washington back to life

0:16:410:16:45

by transfusing lamb blood into his body.

0:16:450:16:48

Uncool.

0:16:480:16:49

His request was, like, denied, man.

0:16:490:16:52

I've got an old pal who's full of lamb blood.

0:16:520:16:54

-Is it Dave Lamb?

-Nope.

0:16:540:16:57

-Is it a lamb then?

-No.

0:16:570:17:00

It's a fox.

0:17:000:17:02

That's distasteful, at best.

0:17:020:17:04

Nathan, congratulations, storming into an early lead there.

0:17:040:17:07

-Brooke, your turn to pick.

-Can I have the moon, please?

0:17:070:17:10

The moon!

0:17:100:17:11

Man first landed on the moon in 1969.

0:17:130:17:16

Groovy, baby!

0:17:160:17:18

But astronaut Neil Armstrong broke a switch that fired

0:17:180:17:20

the rocket's engines, which could have meant his team were stuck

0:17:200:17:23

on the moon forever.

0:17:230:17:25

So what did they use as a switch instead?

0:17:250:17:28

PEN SCRATCHES

0:17:290:17:31

CRASHING

0:17:310:17:33

CHICKEN CLUCKS

0:17:330:17:34

Mmm, chicken bone.

0:17:340:17:36

-Don't forget your hunger strike.

-Oh, fight it, Rattus, fight it!

0:17:360:17:39

Show me your answers now, please.

0:17:390:17:42

Oh, Seb and Brooke agreeing again on C, Nathan on his own again

0:17:420:17:46

on B. What is the answer?

0:17:460:17:48

The answer is...

0:17:480:17:51

They used a felt-tip pen as a switch.

0:17:510:17:54

Far out!

0:17:540:17:56

Nobody scores any points there, and with only one category left

0:17:560:17:59

in this round it means that Nathan has won himself another

0:17:590:18:03

Year Sphere. Go and collect it.

0:18:030:18:04

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:18:040:18:06

So, Nathan has won the Awesome USA quiz

0:18:110:18:15

and he automatically goes through to play the game.

0:18:150:18:17

But will he be alone or will the others get to join him?

0:18:170:18:20

Let's find out.

0:18:200:18:21

It's a Single Player game.

0:18:230:18:25

So, Nathan, off down the time sewer on your own.

0:18:250:18:27

It's 1899 and you're an outlaw in the notorious gang the Wild Bunch.

0:18:360:18:41

It's time to play...

0:18:410:18:42

This game is dynamite! Yee-haw!

0:18:450:18:48

Sorry. Get the train door open to reveal three safes,

0:18:480:18:51

connect the right cable and blow them up until you find the one

0:18:510:18:55

with the loot. Then grab a stash of cash in a flash.

0:18:550:18:58

You've got to get 50,000 within the time limit to win yourself

0:18:580:19:02

a Year Sphere.

0:19:020:19:03

TRAIN WHISTLES

0:19:070:19:08

So, first up, Nathan has to unlock several bolts to actually

0:19:080:19:11

get inside the train carriage.

0:19:110:19:13

Of course, during their robbery

0:19:130:19:15

the Wild Bunch blew the doors off, blew the safe up

0:19:150:19:17

and blew most of the carriage to bits.

0:19:170:19:19

-What a bunch of cowboys!

-Well, exactly.

0:19:190:19:21

Now he needs a fuse.

0:19:210:19:22

Only one of these, Rattus, is long enough

0:19:220:19:24

to reach from the safes to the plunger, and this one looks

0:19:240:19:27

quite promising. He attaches one end to the middle safe.

0:19:270:19:30

Is it going to be long enough?

0:19:300:19:32

Well, yes, it is!

0:19:330:19:36

Lovely, he's found the right rope first try.

0:19:360:19:38

-Boom!

-Boom!

-There's cash everywhere!

0:19:390:19:42

Just like the actual Wild Bunch, Nathan has used way too much

0:19:420:19:45

-dynamite.

-Yes, and keep your eye on the cashometer, Rattus.

0:19:450:19:48

He needs 50,000 notes to get above the line and claim victory!

0:19:480:19:53

And he's gathering nicely here,

0:19:540:19:56

gathering like a Womble in many ways.

0:19:560:19:59

Oh, dear! It looks like a buzzard was caught in the blast.

0:19:590:20:02

Oh, poor Tony!

0:20:020:20:03

Poor Tony, indeed. I didn't realise you knew him.

0:20:030:20:05

Awful for you, Rattus.

0:20:050:20:07

Absolutely awful. Oh, no! He has woken up a rattlesnake.

0:20:070:20:10

-That's Tony!

-Why does everybody have to be called Tony?

0:20:100:20:13

So their names are easy to remember. Can I call you Tony?

0:20:130:20:16

No, you can't.

0:20:160:20:17

I have to say, Nathan is cleaning up here, literally.

0:20:170:20:20

Grabbing handfuls of greenback, stuffing them in his sack.

0:20:200:20:24

Somebody get this man a vacuum cleaner.

0:20:240:20:26

Well, he's getting very, very,

0:20:260:20:27

close to the 50,000 he needs to win now.

0:20:270:20:31

He really has done excellently well. And in fact he's there. He's there.

0:20:310:20:35

You can stop stealing money.

0:20:350:20:37

Well played, Nathan. Oh, he's lost his moustache. But never mind!

0:20:370:20:41

It's grown back!

0:20:410:20:43

-I'm rich.

-Well played, fella.

0:20:430:20:45

You're going to have to pick all those up now.

0:20:450:20:47

Congratulations, Nathan.

0:20:490:20:51

You sure did grab yourself a lot of loot there, boy!

0:20:510:20:54

Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

0:20:540:20:56

So, Rattus, how is the campaign coming along?

0:20:570:21:01

Oh, really well, Dave. I've got over 1,000 signatures so far.

0:21:010:21:05

-Oh, wow! Where are they?

-Well, they're right there.

0:21:050:21:08

Most rats aren't very good at writing

0:21:080:21:10

so they have to leave their mark in other ways.

0:21:100:21:12

Oh, rat wee!

0:21:120:21:15

HE GROANS

0:21:150:21:17

Well done, Dave. You found another signature.

0:21:170:21:20

I've got signatures all over my trousers now!

0:21:200:21:23

Sorry you had to see that.

0:21:230:21:25

It's the final round!

0:21:250:21:26

So it's over to the Gory Grid to find out what we've got.

0:21:260:21:29

It's the Vile Victorians! Good day.

0:21:310:21:35

So no quiz, just time for our show-stopping all-play endgame.

0:21:350:21:39

So come on, you lot. Down you go.

0:21:390:21:42

Lead us off, Nathan.

0:21:420:21:43

See you, Seb.

0:21:470:21:49

And it's all about dead bodies

0:21:510:21:53

because at the start of Queen Victoria's reign,

0:21:530:21:55

surgeons needed a regular supply of corpses to practise on.

0:21:550:21:59

-It's time to play...

-Graverobbers!

0:21:590:22:03

All you have to do is steal three corpses and get them to the

0:22:030:22:05

surgeon's table, but this noise...

0:22:050:22:08

WHISTLE BLOWS

0:22:080:22:09

..means there's a policeman on the way and you'd better run

0:22:090:22:12

and hide in the cemetery until you hear another whistle.

0:22:120:22:15

First to dump their bodies

0:22:150:22:16

and grab their illicit stash of cash is the winner.

0:22:160:22:19

Go! So, Rattus,

0:22:220:22:24

the first thing they need to do here

0:22:240:22:26

is find the body with the key attached.

0:22:260:22:28

Giving it a good rattle around and look at that. Nathan's found it.

0:22:290:22:33

Go on, shove him through, Nathan. That's lovely.

0:22:330:22:36

Oh, Seb has stolen a march on him there!

0:22:360:22:40

Seb has gone into the lead while Nathan wrestles with his body.

0:22:400:22:44

Go on, just stuff him through! You can't hurt him, he's already dead.

0:22:450:22:49

Look at that. Now he's got to unlock that padlock.

0:22:510:22:55

Meanwhile, the others are slowly but surely catching him up.

0:22:550:23:00

And they're quite literally carrying a dead weight.

0:23:000:23:03

They are, Rattus. A very good point.

0:23:030:23:05

All three of them now at the gates. It's close.

0:23:050:23:08

-And it's in fact Nathan who gets through first...

-Oh!

0:23:080:23:11

Seb has got this habit of just suddenly emerging from nowhere

0:23:110:23:15

and seizing the initiative.

0:23:150:23:16

He's a "Caesar"!

0:23:160:23:18

He's right Caesar, just like an old Roman leader there!

0:23:180:23:22

Well, anyway, whatever we're going to call him,

0:23:220:23:24

he's already claimed his second body.

0:23:240:23:27

And Nathan, fiddling around with the keys there,

0:23:270:23:30

-I don't know what he's playing at there, Rattus.

-What's he doing?

0:23:300:23:33

I do know that Seb just went for a short trip!

0:23:330:23:35

LAUGHTER

0:23:350:23:36

Oh, terrific!

0:23:360:23:38

WHISTLE BLOWS

0:23:380:23:39

Here comes the policeman.

0:23:390:23:40

They've got to hide behind those gravestones and they've got

0:23:400:23:43

to be quiet because this man is one of the force's finest.

0:23:430:23:46

-Sadly, yes.

-He really is.

0:23:460:23:48

He's just come down actually from Manchester where he was catching

0:23:480:23:52

graverobbers hand over fist, but he's missed them all there.

0:23:520:23:55

And they're back into it.

0:23:550:23:57

Brooke just yanking her cadaver through there by the hair.

0:23:590:24:04

That looked awful! And that's no better!

0:24:040:24:07

Well, if proof were needed that these people are dead,

0:24:070:24:10

we just had it right there.

0:24:100:24:12

And Nathan, meanwhile, has squeezed one through. But it is Seb!

0:24:120:24:16

Every time you mention someone else, Seb slaps you in the face

0:24:160:24:19

and says, "I'm winning this."

0:24:190:24:21

He's grabbed the cash, he's through the railings, Seb has done it.

0:24:210:24:26

Terrific body snatching!

0:24:260:24:29

I think I would make a good graverobber.

0:24:290:24:31

It's a tricky business but it gets you somewhere in life.

0:24:310:24:34

Yes, prison!

0:24:340:24:35

Well played, everybody. Excellent robing. Seb, help yourself.

0:24:350:24:40

Help yourself.

0:24:400:24:41

Lovely. The final Year Sphere has been awarded.

0:24:420:24:47

Now it's time to count up those Year Spheres, and remember,

0:24:470:24:50

AD dates are added to your total and BC dates are subtracted from it.

0:24:500:24:55

All right, Seb, let's open up that first Year Sphere, please.

0:24:550:24:59

1858 AD - The Great Stink of London was that year.

0:25:020:25:07

Let's have a look at that second one.

0:25:070:25:09

1189 AD, Richard the Lionheart becomes King of England that year.

0:25:110:25:16

Well done, Seb. You've ended up in the positive.

0:25:160:25:19

Brooke, let's have a look at yours.

0:25:190:25:22

1917 AD, the US declares war on Germany that year.

0:25:220:25:27

It's not quite enough to catch Seb but it is a positive result.

0:25:270:25:30

Here we go then, Nathan. The all-important deciders.

0:25:300:25:32

Let's have a look at your first.

0:25:320:25:34

1331 AD,

0:25:340:25:37

The start of the Hundred Years War between England and France.

0:25:370:25:41

Let's have a look at the second one.

0:25:410:25:43

3600 BC!

0:25:460:25:49

The first known mummification took place in Egypt around about then.

0:25:490:25:54

Let's have a look at that third one.

0:25:540:25:56

It's good.

0:25:570:25:58

1815 AD, the Battle of Waterloo that year, but it's not enough.

0:25:580:26:03

Congratulations, Seb.

0:26:030:26:04

You've run up a grand total of 3047 points,

0:26:040:26:09

which means that you are today's worthy winner!

0:26:090:26:12

-Yay!

-Yes.

0:26:120:26:13

And what could be better than your very own prize

0:26:130:26:16

scooped out of the fetid waters of the Time Sewer by Rattus?

0:26:160:26:20

Well, almost anything but there we are.

0:26:200:26:21

And what a prize it is. I'm almost too jealous to give it up.

0:26:210:26:26

-It's a mud wasp nest.

-A mud wasp nest.

0:26:260:26:29

-And it gets better.

-That wouldn't be too hard.

0:26:290:26:32

Because it's full of maggots!

0:26:320:26:34

Who would want a wasps nest full of maggots?

0:26:340:26:37

The ancient Maya.

0:26:370:26:39

They'd send children to go and collect them,

0:26:390:26:41

then they'd heat them up

0:26:410:26:42

and when the maggots wriggled out they'd eat them for a snack.

0:26:420:26:46

Delicious! Nom-nom-nom!

0:26:460:26:47

Rattus, what about the hunger strike?

0:26:470:26:50

Forget the hunger strike! These are maggots we're talking about here.

0:26:500:26:54

There you go, Seb. Worst prize ever.

0:26:540:26:57

-Can I tell you what I think?

-Yes, you can.

0:26:570:27:00

VOMITING

0:27:000:27:02

That could be the least of your worries after you've eaten that.

0:27:020:27:04

-Well, if you don't want it, I'll have it.

-Settle down.

0:27:040:27:07

Time for you two runners-up to face the music,

0:27:070:27:09

by which I mean slide into the Time Sewer gunge.

0:27:090:27:12

I'm sorry. It's been nice knowing you.

0:27:120:27:14

-Bye!

-Bye!

-Bye!

0:27:140:27:17

It's disgusting!

0:27:200:27:22

-I've been Dave Lamb, he's been protesting.

-Votes for rats!

0:27:300:27:34

-And you've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

-Games!

0:27:340:27:37

-Votes for rats. Votes for rats! Votes for rats.

-Give it up, Rattus.

0:27:370:27:42

It's never going to happen.

0:27:420:27:43

Oh, Dave, I've chained myself to some railings,

0:27:430:27:45

-just like those suffragettes did.

-Right. Nice moves.

0:27:450:27:48

BARKING

0:27:480:27:50

The security Dobermans have arrived. They sound really hungry.

0:27:500:27:52

Dave, wait. Help, help, help!

0:27:520:27:54

-All right. Where's the key?

-Oh, I've swallowed it. Hang on a second.

0:27:540:27:58

BREAKS WIND

0:27:580:28:00

I think it's one of them two.

0:28:000:28:02

You are kidding me.

0:28:030:28:05

Oh, for heaven's sake.

0:28:050:28:07

SQUELCHING

0:28:070:28:09

Rattus becomes a suff-RAT-gette campaigning for rat rights and Seb, Brooke and Nathan battle it out to win Year Spheres in games, including Calamity Train and Grave Robbers. If you're of a nervous disposition, a bit squeamish or easily shocked, then this show ain't for you.


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