Browse content similar to Episode 4. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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# Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians | 0:00:01 | 0:00:04 | |
# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights | 0:00:04 | 0:00:07 | |
# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians | 0:00:07 | 0:00:10 | |
# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times | 0:00:10 | 0:00:12 | |
# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless | 0:00:12 | 0:00:16 | |
# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages | 0:00:16 | 0:00:18 | |
# Gory stories, we do that And your host, a talking rat | 0:00:18 | 0:00:22 | |
# The past is no longer a mystery Welcome to... | 0:00:22 | 0:00:27 | |
There were a lot of nasty diseases around in Stuart Britain, | 0:00:37 | 0:00:41 | |
and some pretty crazy ideas on how they could be cured. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
I've come back to Stuart times to look into the disastrous state | 0:00:47 | 0:00:50 | |
of their healthcare system. | 0:00:50 | 0:00:52 | |
These poor people are all sick with scrofula. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:55 | |
-Excuse me? -Get away from me. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:57 | |
A disease that causes fever and swelling of the neck. | 0:00:57 | 0:01:01 | |
Are you deaf? I told you to get from me. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
Oh, I thought you were trying to jump the queue. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:07 | |
Do I look sick? | 0:01:07 | 0:01:08 | |
You do look a bit swollen. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
Some people have waited up to a year for treatment. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
How long have you been waiting, sir? | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
Oh, not long. Two days. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
Two days? Can we get someone who's waited a year, please? | 0:01:20 | 0:01:23 | |
How long have you been waiting here, Tim? | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
I've been waiting for about a year. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:26 | |
That's excellent. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
I mean, that's dreadful, it's terrible. | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
Oh, dear, someone's died! | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
Have you got this? Good. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:33 | |
That's dreadful. Did she die from the disease? | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
Oh, no, scrofula isn't fatal. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
No, she died of her injuries, waiting in the crush to be seen. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
Someone's going to have to answer to this. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:44 | |
I demand to see the man in charge. Who is he? | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
Well, it's him. Charles II. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
You're cured. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
You're cured. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:53 | |
You're cured. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:55 | |
No, I'm not sick. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:56 | |
Are you sure? You look a bit swollen. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
Is this a joke? Is it a joke? | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
I've been blessed with the royal touch, you know. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
I have only to touch you with my hand | 0:02:02 | 0:02:04 | |
and your scrofula will be cured. | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
That's why they call it the King's Evil. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
But you're not even touching them with your hand. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
No, because they're sick, and some of them are really rather smelly. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:13 | |
So I just touch a gold coin | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
and give that to them. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:16 | |
And all of a sudden they're magically cured? | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
Yes. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
You're cured. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:21 | |
Are you actually cured? | 0:02:21 | 0:02:22 | |
Er, no. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
But do you feel any better? | 0:02:24 | 0:02:25 | |
Yeah, I've got a gold coin. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
And what do you do? No, don't tell me, I don't want to know. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
Can I just ask, why have some of these people | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
waited up to a year to be seen for treatment? | 0:02:32 | 0:02:35 | |
Well, there's only one of me, and I only do this once a year. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
I mean, a man's got parties to go to! | 0:02:38 | 0:02:41 | |
Now are you sure you don't want that scrofula cured? | 0:02:41 | 0:02:43 | |
For the last time, I do not have scrofula. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
But I am getting a headache. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:47 | |
I've got just the thing. Powdered mummy. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:51 | |
I use it to keep myself wise and strong. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:54 | |
No need to thank me. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:58 | |
This is Dom Duckworth in Stuart England, | 0:02:58 | 0:03:01 | |
covered in the remains of an ancient Egyptian mummy. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
A sentence I never thought I'd hear myself say. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:07 | |
It's in my eyes. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:08 | |
Can we get a nurse? Dead man in my eye. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
During World War II, the Germans recruited some very unusual spies. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:20 | |
At ease! | 0:03:20 | 0:03:21 | |
I think you will be very happy with the new recruits. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:27 | |
I believe they will turn out to be | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
some of the finest spies in the German army. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:32 | |
Very good work, Frau Schmitt. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:34 | |
May I present Private Curvenon. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:03:38 | 0:03:39 | |
He says hello. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:40 | |
Hello, sir. He's very formal. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:44 | |
You're sure he isn't just... | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
..Barking? | 0:03:46 | 0:03:47 | |
Nein. His speech is based on barking, | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
but I have learnt to recognise | 0:03:50 | 0:03:53 | |
the different words and am able to translate. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:56 | |
Now, Frau Schmitt, are you just making this up? | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
Well, General, as you know, Adolf Hitler himself | 0:03:59 | 0:04:02 | |
has authorised the setting up of the animal talking school. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:06 | |
Are you suggesting that his idea | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
is not entirely a good one? | 0:04:08 | 0:04:10 | |
In no way, Frau Schmitt. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
Perhaps you'll be more easily impressed by Private Rolf. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:17 | |
He taps his paw in a different way for each letter. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
Now that is more like it. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:22 | |
Do you have anything you wish to say | 0:04:22 | 0:04:23 | |
to the General, Rolf? | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
W, O, O, F. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:30 | |
Woof. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
Do not bark at the General! Bad soldier! | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
We are also carrying out experiments to see | 0:04:35 | 0:04:38 | |
if dogs can communicate telepathically with humans. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:41 | |
Oh, what's that Rolf? You want a bone? | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
You don't have to be a mind-reader to know that. He's a dog! | 0:04:49 | 0:04:52 | |
Perhaps you'll be more impressed by Private Axel. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:55 | |
And how does he communicate? | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
Well, ask him a question. | 0:04:57 | 0:04:58 | |
Any question? | 0:04:59 | 0:05:01 | |
Ja, any question. So long as it is "who is Adolf Hitler?" | 0:05:01 | 0:05:05 | |
Erm, who is Adolf Hitler? | 0:05:06 | 0:05:10 | |
DOG: Mein Fuhrer! | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
Now that is good. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:13 | |
Our research is coming on leaps und bounds. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:16 | |
Sitz und play deadz. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
Soon we will have a spy network of dogs. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
Well, the Allied forces certainly won't be expecting that. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
There is just one small problem with our new recruits. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:28 | |
What's that? | 0:05:28 | 0:05:29 | |
There are some hygiene issues. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
Ja. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:34 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
Oh! Rolf says sorry. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
I bet he does. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:39 | |
Bizarrely, Hitler was an animal lover, | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
and was convinced by scientists that animals might make good spies. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:48 | |
So he approved the animal talking school. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:51 | |
Animals talking? As if that's possible! | 0:05:51 | 0:05:54 | |
Yes, many animals were put to work during World War II. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:59 | |
We need more ammo! Corporal Wojciech! | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
You can't ask someone with a senior rank to fetch your ammo. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:08 | |
You can ask this Corporal. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:11 | |
Aaaah! A bear! There's a bear, there's a bear! | 0:06:11 | 0:06:14 | |
Yes, that's Corporal Wojciech. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:17 | |
Er, it's a bear. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:18 | |
Of course, but according to his paperwork, he's a Polish Corporal. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:22 | |
My unit adopted him as bear cub, but when we moved, | 0:06:22 | 0:06:25 | |
the only way he was allowed on the ship was if he was enlisted. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:28 | |
So now he's Corporal Wojciech. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:31 | |
But he's sTill a bear. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:32 | |
Don't worry, Wojciech's harmless, he just carries ammunition around. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:36 | |
He won't hurt you, unless he drops a shell, obviously. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
Oh! Oh, you had me then! | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
We Vikings lived in some pretty remote places, | 0:06:49 | 0:06:52 | |
and food could be scarce, so we ate all sorts of unusual stuff. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:55 | |
Tuck's up, boys. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:58 | |
Hey, I thought we'd run out of butter? | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
We did. This is seal blubber. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
Oh, it tastes like fish. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:05 | |
Isn't it great? Guess what we've called it. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
I can't believe you got me eating seal blubber. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:09 | |
That's right! | 0:07:09 | 0:07:10 | |
Oh, hang on. This bacon tastes funny. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:15 | |
That's because it's been fried in... | 0:07:15 | 0:07:17 | |
I can't believe you fried my food in seal blubber! | 0:07:17 | 0:07:19 | |
That's right! | 0:07:19 | 0:07:20 | |
Right, that's it, I'm skipping lunch, going back to work, | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
covering the bottom of the boats to prevent woodworm. Come on, Bob. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:29 | |
You know what you're going to need? | 0:07:29 | 0:07:30 | |
Not, "I can't believe I'm covering the bottom of my longship | 0:07:30 | 0:07:33 | |
"in seal blubber to prevent woodworm!"? | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
That's right! | 0:07:35 | 0:07:36 | |
Vikings ate seal blubber in settlements | 0:07:49 | 0:07:51 | |
like their one in Iceland. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
So named because it was, well, icy. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:56 | |
When Eric the Red was exiled and wanted to start his own settlement | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
somewhere even icier, he had to fool other Vikings into joining him. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:04 | |
Hi, I'm Eric the Red. | 0:08:05 | 0:08:07 | |
Then why not move to the sundrenched paradise that's so green and fertile | 0:08:10 | 0:08:15 | |
we've called it Greenland. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
We only moved here because you were exiled from Iceland | 0:08:17 | 0:08:22 | |
and wanted to be chieftain of somewhere else. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
Mum! | 0:08:24 | 0:08:25 | |
Well, what's the point of being chieftain of Greenland | 0:08:25 | 0:08:29 | |
unless you find some people to rule? | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
Don't listen to her. Magnus just moved here and he loves it. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:37 | |
I love it. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:38 | |
We're looking for young Vikings to come | 0:08:38 | 0:08:39 | |
and join the p-p-p-party here in Greenland. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:43 | |
Pour me a drink, Magnus. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:45 | |
I can't, the beer is frozen. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
And look, the jug is frozen to my hand. I've got a jug hand! | 0:08:47 | 0:08:51 | |
Don't believe what you've heard, | 0:08:51 | 0:08:53 | |
the weather here is great and the land is so fertile. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:57 | |
Why else would we call it Greenland? | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
To encourage people to move here | 0:09:00 | 0:09:03 | |
even though it's freezing and there's no food. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
Mum! | 0:09:05 | 0:09:06 | |
I've lost a thumb! | 0:09:08 | 0:09:09 | |
It must have got so hot it went to find some shade. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
We are so lucky to live here. That's why mum's gone to Greenland! | 0:09:13 | 0:09:19 | |
Oh, you stupid boy. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:21 | |
Now get me my furs. I'm freezing here! | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
It's true. Eric the Red was banished from Iceland | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
and founded a colony on Greenland instead. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:31 | |
He called it that to fool people into living there, | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
even though the winters were actually very, very cold. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:37 | |
Making Eric the Red more Eric the B-b-b-b-b-blue. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:43 | |
'It's the, "Thou hast been framed!" Roman special, yeah.' | 0:09:48 | 0:09:52 | |
'Welcome to the Battle of Zama, | 0:09:52 | 0:09:53 | |
'Hannibal of Carthage versus Scipio of Rome.' | 0:09:53 | 0:09:56 | |
'Here's Hannibal getting ready to rumble.' | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
I'm sending my elephants to attack the Romans. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
Charge! | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
TRUMPETS PLAY AND ELEPHANTS TRUMPET | 0:10:04 | 0:10:06 | |
'But the Romans have scared the elephants with trumpets!' | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
'They're coming back.' | 0:10:08 | 0:10:10 | |
Let's get out of here! | 0:10:10 | 0:10:11 | |
Who'd have thought I'd get chased by my own elephants? | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
'That's what I call Carthage carnage.' | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
'Or Catharnage.' | 0:10:16 | 0:10:17 | |
'Or Carnathage. Oh, you get the point.' | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
'A solemn moment, | 0:10:20 | 0:10:21 | |
'Caesar Augustus himself visiting the tomb of Alexander the Great.' | 0:10:21 | 0:10:25 | |
'Two of the greatest men in history under one roof, a day to remember.' | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
Alexander of Macedon, I honour your memory. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:33 | |
SNAP! | 0:10:33 | 0:10:35 | |
'What have you done?' | 0:10:35 | 0:10:38 | |
I pulled his nose off by accident. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
'Caesar Augustus there, | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
'winning the most famous general in a room, | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
'by a nose.' | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
'Oh, dear, I don't like the look of this.' | 0:10:46 | 0:10:47 | |
'What's that crazy Emperor Nero doing?' | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
'Some kind of torture, no doubt.' | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
'Setting fire to someone? Cutting them in half?' | 0:10:51 | 0:10:53 | |
'Setting wolves on them? Naughty boy.' | 0:10:53 | 0:10:56 | |
I wrote this one myself. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:57 | |
It's called "By the bonny, bonny banks of the Tiber". | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
'Just when you thought he couldn't get any crueller, | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
'you find out he plays the bagpipes. Mercy!' | 0:11:02 | 0:11:05 | |
'After the break, the Roman General Pompey | 0:11:05 | 0:11:08 | |
'leads his parade into Rome and gets his elephant trapped | 0:11:08 | 0:11:11 | |
'in a triumphal arch. Oh!' | 0:11:11 | 0:11:12 | |
In 60 BC, before Rome was ruled by Emperors, it was run by an alliance | 0:11:14 | 0:11:18 | |
of the three most powerful Romans - General Pompey, Julius Caesar, | 0:11:18 | 0:11:23 | |
and the richest Roman of all time, Marcus Licinius Crassus. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:27 | |
He was a rascal. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:29 | |
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
# I'm Marcus Licinius Crassus | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
# No rich man could ever surpass us | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
# Wanted people to say I was brave | 0:11:40 | 0:11:42 | |
# But lost my first fight And hid in a cave | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
# Living there could be A pauper's nightmare | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
# But if you're rich like me Then you don't care. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
# I called my slave to the cave To ask it | 0:11:48 | 0:11:49 | |
# To cook a feast and lower in a basket | 0:11:49 | 0:11:52 | |
# There's Romans think they're minted | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
# But they ain't rich like me | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
# You can't call yourself loaded | 0:11:56 | 0:11:57 | |
# Till you can buy an army | 0:11:57 | 0:12:00 | |
# Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
# They're more famous than me | 0:12:02 | 0:12:03 | |
# But I'm the world's richest geezer | 0:12:03 | 0:12:05 | |
# There's no-one richer than me | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
# I'm minted! | 0:12:10 | 0:12:11 | |
# I back General Sulla | 0:12:11 | 0:12:12 | |
# Every day my wallet got fuller | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
# Took the land off our enemies To flog it | 0:12:14 | 0:12:16 | |
# Used the cash to fill my pocket | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
# If I heard of a house on fire | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
# I'd rush over, Be a quick cash buyer | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
# My firemen would then Douse the flames, boom! | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
# Another big house to my name | 0:12:24 | 0:12:26 | |
# There's Romans think they're minted | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
# But they ain't rich like me | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
# You can't call yourself loaded | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
# Till you can buy an army | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
# Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar | 0:12:34 | 0:12:35 | |
# They're more famous than me | 0:12:35 | 0:12:38 | |
# But I'm the world's richest geezer | 0:12:38 | 0:12:39 | |
# There's no-one richer than me | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
# I'm minted! | 0:12:44 | 0:12:45 | |
# I bought an army for fighting Spartacus | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
# At the start my men lost heart-acus | 0:12:47 | 0:12:49 | |
# I killed one in ten In a killing spree | 0:12:49 | 0:12:50 | |
# So they were more scared of me Than the enemy | 0:12:50 | 0:12:53 | |
# Smashed the slaves, It got real gory | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
# But then Pompey stole my glory | 0:12:55 | 0:12:56 | |
# To show it was me That crushed the horde. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
# Nailed up the slaves like on a billboard. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:00 | |
# They're splinted! | 0:13:03 | 0:13:04 | |
# Not enough to be a big politician | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
# Wanted triumph, took my army On a mission | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
# Got owned by the Parthian Persians | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
# They killed me, but you'll hear two versions | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
# The famous one's quite hard To follow | 0:13:12 | 0:13:13 | |
# They gave me boiling gold To swallow | 0:13:13 | 0:13:15 | |
# But the true way they made me pay? | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
# They used my head as a prop In a play | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
# Embarrassing. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:24 | |
# There's Romans think they're minted | 0:13:24 | 0:13:25 | |
# But they ain't rich like me | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
# You can't call yourself loaded | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
# Till you can buy an army | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
# Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar | 0:13:31 | 0:13:33 | |
# They're more famous than me | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
# But I'm the world's richest Geezer | 0:13:35 | 0:13:37 | |
# There's no-one richer than me. # | 0:13:37 | 0:13:38 | |
Ha, ha, love it, tell me you don't love it. Ha, ha. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:43 | |
One of our finest Georgian philosophers | 0:13:48 | 0:13:51 | |
was called Jeremy Bentham. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:52 | |
He was quite brilliant, but somewhat, | 0:13:52 | 0:13:55 | |
well, how shall I put this? Unusual. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
Good afternoon, sir. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:01 | |
Ah, Jennings. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
I've just finished my new design for a panopticon prison, | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
in which one guard can watch all inmates without their being able | 0:14:06 | 0:14:10 | |
to tell whether or not they're being watched. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
Brilliant as ever, sir. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:13 | |
Now, I trust you haven't forgotten | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
you invited your new neighbour over for tea. | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
You won't do anything to embarrass him now, will you, sir? | 0:14:17 | 0:14:20 | |
No, Jennings, of course I won't. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
Sir, what on earth are you wearing? | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
Well, I'm just trying out my new invention, they're called underpants. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:29 | |
What do you think? | 0:14:29 | 0:14:30 | |
I think they should be under something, sir. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
Yes, you're quite right. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
KNOCK AT DOOR | 0:14:34 | 0:14:35 | |
Ah, Mr... Good gracious! | 0:14:35 | 0:14:39 | |
They're underpants, sir. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
I see. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:42 | |
Would you care for some tea? I believe the Reverend | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
Sir John Lambourne will be joining us shortly. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:46 | |
If a Reverend is joining us, should you not be wearing breeches, sir? | 0:14:46 | 0:14:50 | |
He won't mind. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:51 | |
Oh, here he is now. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:53 | |
CAT MEOWS | 0:14:53 | 0:14:54 | |
The Reverend is a cat? | 0:14:54 | 0:14:55 | |
Yes, of course. Come on, Reverend. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
There we are. | 0:14:58 | 0:14:59 | |
Tell me, sir, do all your pets have such unusual names? | 0:14:59 | 0:15:02 | |
Of course not, my other pet's called Dickie. | 0:15:02 | 0:15:04 | |
A pet dog? | 0:15:04 | 0:15:05 | |
A pet teapot! | 0:15:05 | 0:15:06 | |
Who's a good teapot? Who's a good teapot? | 0:15:06 | 0:15:09 | |
Yes, you are! | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
Mr Bentham, I'm a very busy man, you are a very busy man, clearly. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
So I shall not beat about the bush. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:15 | |
I intend to have a summer house built in my garden, | 0:15:15 | 0:15:18 | |
and I was hoping you would be agreeable to this. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
Of course. An Englishman should be able to do | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
whatever he likes in his own garden. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
I intend to decorate mine with varnished corpses. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:28 | |
I beg your pardon? | 0:15:29 | 0:15:30 | |
We must demystify death, sir. | 0:15:30 | 0:15:32 | |
Surround ourselves with it, | 0:15:32 | 0:15:33 | |
and we will lose our fear of mortality. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:35 | |
But you can't keep corpses in a garden! | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
Yes, maybe you're right. The weather would rot them. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:40 | |
Yes, maybe I'll just exhibit some preserved heads | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
in a specially-modified cabinet. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
You, sir, are a very unusual man. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
Oh. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
Right, I'm off to walk Dapple and Dobbin. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:52 | |
Here they are, sir. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:54 | |
Thank you, Jennings. Come on, boys! | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
MIMES HORSE | 0:15:56 | 0:15:57 | |
Ride like the wind! Oh, Dapple! | 0:15:57 | 0:16:01 | |
Here's another colourful Georgian character. | 0:16:52 | 0:16:55 | |
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths They're funny cos they're true | 0:16:58 | 0:17:02 | |
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths Hope next time it's not you. # | 0:17:02 | 0:17:07 | |
Happy birthday! Well, come on, then, blow the candle out. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:12 | |
Oh! We'll be here all day. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:13 | |
Next! | 0:17:15 | 0:17:16 | |
Bonjour. Je m'appelle Madame Blanchard. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:20 | |
Oh! A French lady. I'll take this. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:23 | |
Comment vous appellez-vous? | 0:17:23 | 0:17:26 | |
Je m'appelle Madame Blanchard. I just told you. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
All right, it's just the only French I know. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
And what brings you here, Madame Blanchard? | 0:17:31 | 0:17:34 | |
Well, you may have heard of my husband, Jean-Pierre Blanchard? | 0:17:35 | 0:17:39 | |
Non? | 0:17:39 | 0:17:40 | |
The famous balloonist? | 0:17:40 | 0:17:41 | |
Oh, right. Well, you should feel right at home here. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:44 | |
Well, in 1785, my husband became the first man to ever cross the Channel | 0:17:44 | 0:17:48 | |
in a balloon, and I am something of a pioneer of aeronautics myself | 0:17:48 | 0:17:52 | |
being the first woman to ever work as a professional balloonist. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:57 | |
Oh, well, that's amazing, well done you, Madame Blanchard. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:01 | |
But too much helium can be bad for you. I'm already dead, keep up. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:05 | |
Sorry, do continue. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:07 | |
BALLOON DEFLATES | 0:18:07 | 0:18:09 | |
It was the balloon. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:10 | |
Well, after the death of my dear, beloved husband, | 0:18:10 | 0:18:13 | |
I continued ballooning, and in 1819, I did an ascent over Paris. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:18 | |
I wanted it to be a sight that no one would ever forget. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
So I set off some fireworks at a great height. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:24 | |
Oh! Rewind. You let off some fireworks in a balloon? | 0:18:24 | 0:18:28 | |
Probably not my best idea. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
One of the fireworks ignited the balloon gas and... | 0:18:30 | 0:18:33 | |
Ha-ha-ha! When a firework display ends, | 0:18:35 | 0:18:39 | |
it can leave you feeling a little flat. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:41 | |
Huh, do you get it? Splat, flat, you! | 0:18:41 | 0:18:44 | |
Ha-ha-ha! You're through to the afterlife. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:47 | |
Merci. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:48 | |
Oh, mind the step, there's a bit of a drop, | 0:18:48 | 0:18:51 | |
but I suppose you're used to that. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:52 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
Sometimes I love this job. I do, though, I do. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:58 | |
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths | 0:18:58 | 0:19:01 | |
# Hope next time it's not you. # | 0:19:01 | 0:19:03 | |
Much of what we know about the early Middle Ages is thanks to monks | 0:19:08 | 0:19:12 | |
who wrote a chronicle of all the important events of each year. | 0:19:12 | 0:19:15 | |
There's a lot going on in the Saxon world. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:19 | |
And for years it's been almost impossible to keep up. | 0:19:19 | 0:19:22 | |
We've got invasions. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:23 | |
Civil War. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:24 | |
Saxons. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:25 | |
-Angles. -Jutes. | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
-Danes. -Vikings. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:28 | |
Normans. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:29 | |
And goodness knows what else. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:31 | |
And now you won't have to miss a thing, thanks to... | 0:19:31 | 0:19:35 | |
ALL: Anglo Saxon Chronicle Magazine, | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
from Worcester, Abingdon, Peterborough. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:39 | |
Yes, you can read the Anglo Saxon Chronicle | 0:19:39 | 0:19:42 | |
in any of these five locations in Middle Ages England. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:46 | |
Read how Earl Aelfgar was outlawed for admitting being a traitor. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:50 | |
Well, hang on. According to my Worcester version, | 0:19:50 | 0:19:52 | |
he was outlawed despite having done very little wrong. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
Yeah, in our Abingdon issue | 0:19:55 | 0:19:56 | |
it says that he didn't do anything wrong. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
Is someone checking we're all telling the same story? | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
-I'm not. we've just been writing whatever we want. -Us too. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
What happens when everyone finds out | 0:20:03 | 0:20:04 | |
we're telling different versions of history? | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
-Not much. They're not allowed to read it anyway. -It's for monks only. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:09 | |
Cool, cool. Well, I won't tell anyone if you won't. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
I definitely won't, I'm taking a vow of silence. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
There goes the key. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:16 | |
BOTH: The magazine everyone in Saxon England should read. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:23 | |
Well, as long as they're Monks. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:24 | |
-What happened to the vow of silence? -Starting now. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:28 | |
Those Monks were the copying machines of their day, | 0:20:28 | 0:20:30 | |
until the invention of the printing press. | 0:20:30 | 0:20:32 | |
Good morning. | 0:20:36 | 0:20:38 | |
Good morning, Lord Sugar. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
Now, which one of you is Team Monk? | 0:20:40 | 0:20:41 | |
That was a joke, I'm joking, it's a tough crowd. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:45 | |
This week's task was perfectly simple. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
All I asked you lot to do was to make as many copies as possible | 0:20:47 | 0:20:51 | |
of this bestseller, the Bible. | 0:20:51 | 0:20:53 | |
So, Team Monk, who was your project manager? | 0:20:53 | 0:20:56 | |
Look, I know this boardroom's intimidating, but I won't bite. | 0:20:57 | 0:21:00 | |
Although I might bite if one of you doesn't start talking. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:04 | |
They've all taken a vow of silence, Lord Sugar. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
Of course they have, sorry, Karren. So how did Team Baldy get on, then? | 0:21:06 | 0:21:09 | |
Well, they copied the Bible, by hand, using quill pens. | 0:21:09 | 0:21:13 | |
Sounds a bit route one to me, Karren. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:15 | |
How about Team Gutenberg here, who was your project manager? | 0:21:15 | 0:21:19 | |
I was, I'm Johannes Gutenberg. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
Yeah, I know, I was joking again. How did you approach the challenge? | 0:21:21 | 0:21:25 | |
Well, Lord Sugar, I created a whole new printing process. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
The old process involves carving out whole pages | 0:21:28 | 0:21:32 | |
onto these blocks of wood, | 0:21:32 | 0:21:34 | |
which are just thrown away when the book's printed. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:36 | |
CRASH | 0:21:36 | 0:21:39 | |
Sorry. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:40 | |
So I created a whole new movable typeface using these individual | 0:21:40 | 0:21:45 | |
metal letters, which can be arranged to spell anything you like, | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
and reused again and again and again | 0:21:48 | 0:21:51 | |
to create any number of different books. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:53 | |
Or a bill for a broken window? | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
Quite so. I needed a printing press | 0:21:55 | 0:21:57 | |
so that I didn't have to do anything by hand anymore. | 0:21:57 | 0:22:00 | |
Well, what idiot would do it all by hand? | 0:22:00 | 0:22:03 | |
Oh, you make the joke? That's very funny. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:05 | |
The printing press is based on the screw press as used in wine making. | 0:22:05 | 0:22:10 | |
Ingenious. How did the other team get on? | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
Well, in one day, Team Monk, between them, | 0:22:12 | 0:22:15 | |
managed to reproduce just 25 pages of the Bible. | 0:22:15 | 0:22:19 | |
25 pages? | 0:22:19 | 0:22:20 | |
Well, they do spend an awful lot of time | 0:22:20 | 0:22:22 | |
on their opening letters. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:23 | |
Yeah, but 25 pages is a disgrace. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:25 | |
It's going to take you months to make a copy of the Bible, isn't it? | 0:22:25 | 0:22:28 | |
How did Team Gutenberg get on? | 0:22:28 | 0:22:30 | |
Well, the Gutenberg press | 0:22:30 | 0:22:31 | |
printed 3,500 pages in a single day. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:33 | |
Well that's more like it, highly efficient. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:35 | |
So, just to recap, | 0:22:35 | 0:22:37 | |
Team Gutenberg single-handedly started a revolution | 0:22:37 | 0:22:40 | |
in communication, enabling knowledge to spread throughout the masses, | 0:22:40 | 0:22:45 | |
and Team Monk here gave us a few pretty letters. | 0:22:45 | 0:22:48 | |
Team Monk, what have you got to say for yourselves? | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
They've taken a vow of silence. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
-I know, Karren, it was another joke. Not you and all? -Sorry. | 0:22:53 | 0:22:57 | |
Team Monk, I've only got one thing to say to you. | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
Well, actually, two things. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:01 | |
You're fired. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:02 | |
Team Gutenberg, congratulations. | 0:23:02 | 0:23:05 | |
You've won yourself a five-star Cordon Bleu dinner of a lifetime. | 0:23:05 | 0:23:08 | |
Team Monk, you're getting bread and water. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:11 | |
Without the bread and water. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:14 | |
That should shut them up, Nick. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:16 | |
Gutenberg changed the world with his printing press. | 0:23:16 | 0:23:19 | |
It meant ordinary people had access to books, | 0:23:19 | 0:23:22 | |
and knowledge was spread around. | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
It's one of the most important inventions of all time. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:29 | |
Right up there with the Whoopie Cushion. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:31 | |
FARTS | 0:23:31 | 0:23:32 | |
Grace Darling, darling, you've got a fan letter. | 0:23:39 | 0:23:42 | |
A fan letter for me, father? Oh, it hardly seems possible. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:46 | |
Nonsense. Everybody's talking about how you rowed that little boat | 0:23:46 | 0:23:51 | |
out to the wrecked ship off the Farne Islands | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
to rescue those people. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
Darling, you're the darling, Darling of the newspapers. | 0:23:55 | 0:23:58 | |
Of course, it was actually me who rowed the boat | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
out to the wrecked ship, all you did was keep it steady | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
while I carried the injured people aboard, | 0:24:03 | 0:24:05 | |
but nobody seemed very interested in me. | 0:24:05 | 0:24:07 | |
"Dear Grace, I was so inspired by your strength and bravery, | 0:24:07 | 0:24:12 | |
"that I've painted a picture of you and put it on my wall." | 0:24:12 | 0:24:14 | |
"Do you think I might have a lock of your hair?" | 0:24:14 | 0:24:16 | |
Oh, what a charming letter, of course you may. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:20 | |
KNOCK AT DOOR | 0:24:20 | 0:24:21 | |
You've a couple more fan letters. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:24 | |
Really, people are so kind. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:27 | |
"Dear Grace, you are my heroine, you're so brave and fearless." | 0:24:27 | 0:24:32 | |
"I'd have been too scared to go out all on me own like that." | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
Of course, you weren't on your own, I was there, | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
but nobody cares about that, cos I'm a big bloke with a lighthouse | 0:24:37 | 0:24:40 | |
and you're a heroic little girl. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:41 | |
Though you were actually nearly 23 when we rescued those people, | 0:24:41 | 0:24:44 | |
but who's counting? | 0:24:44 | 0:24:45 | |
Luckily, I'm not bitter. | 0:24:45 | 0:24:48 | |
She wants a lock of your hair. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:49 | |
This one wants a lock of me hair as well. | 0:24:49 | 0:24:51 | |
Well, you cannae give them all hair. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:53 | |
Oh, it's just three letters. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:54 | |
KNOCK AT DOOR | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
Postman. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:57 | |
"Thank you so much for your letter and request for a lock of my hair." | 0:24:59 | 0:25:04 | |
"Sadly, it is the 2,000th such request | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
"and I am no longer able to honour it." | 0:25:08 | 0:25:11 | |
"Do you think you could write again in a couple of months | 0:25:11 | 0:25:14 | |
"when it's grown back?" | 0:25:14 | 0:25:15 | |
"And in the meantime, here's a toenail clipping." | 0:25:15 | 0:25:19 | |
Oh, she'll be delighted with that, it's a beauty. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
Grace Darling was so famous, | 0:25:22 | 0:25:24 | |
people kept asking for locks of her hair, and she nearly went bald. | 0:25:24 | 0:25:28 | |
People never ask me for locks of my hair. | 0:25:30 | 0:25:32 | |
What's that? Probably cos it's covered in poo? | 0:25:32 | 0:25:35 | |
The problem being..? | 0:25:35 | 0:25:37 | |
Time now to meet another famous Victorian woman. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:39 | |
Welcome to HH TV Sport, and I'm just hearing that Emma Sharp, | 0:25:45 | 0:25:48 | |
an ordinary woman from Bradford, | 0:25:48 | 0:25:51 | |
is about to complete an extraordinary challenge. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:53 | |
If you think the marathon looked like hard work, | 0:25:53 | 0:25:56 | |
imagine having to do 38 of them, back to back. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
Let's go live to 1864. Gary. | 0:25:59 | 0:26:02 | |
Yes, great excitement here at the Quarry Gap Hotel Sports Ground | 0:26:02 | 0:26:06 | |
in Bradford, where a crowd of 25,000 people have come to watch | 0:26:06 | 0:26:10 | |
this humble housewife as she nears the end of her incredible attempt | 0:26:10 | 0:26:14 | |
to walk 1,000 miles in 1,000 hours. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:16 | |
In fact, the event's generated so much interest, | 0:26:16 | 0:26:18 | |
they've been selling tickets. | 0:26:18 | 0:26:20 | |
She's been walking up and down this racetrack | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
for the last 42 days and nights, | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
and now there's just a few hundred yards to go | 0:26:25 | 0:26:27 | |
and here she comes now. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:28 | |
And just listen to that crowd. | 0:26:28 | 0:26:30 | |
CROWD BOOS | 0:26:30 | 0:26:32 | |
Actually, let's listen to that crowd. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:34 | |
What is she doing? Boo, somebody stop her! | 0:26:34 | 0:26:37 | |
What do you mean, somebody stop her? | 0:26:37 | 0:26:38 | |
She's about to do something extraordinary. | 0:26:38 | 0:26:40 | |
I've heard of men doing it, | 0:26:40 | 0:26:41 | |
whoever heard of a woman doing something so physically demanding? | 0:26:41 | 0:26:44 | |
It shouldn't be possible. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:45 | |
Also I bet ten quid that she couldn't. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:47 | |
Yeah, she's costing us a fortune, that woman. Get her off! | 0:26:47 | 0:26:51 | |
Right, well, it seems that many people in this largely male crowd | 0:26:51 | 0:26:55 | |
have actually been betting that she's not going to make it. | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
CHEERING | 0:26:58 | 0:27:00 | |
I don't believe it! He just tripped her up! | 0:27:00 | 0:27:03 | |
She's back on her feet. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:04 | |
Oh, she's amazing. Let's see if we can grab a quick word with her. | 0:27:04 | 0:27:07 | |
Er, Mrs Sharp, you're nearly there, how do you feel? | 0:27:07 | 0:27:11 | |
I'd just like to thank me husband | 0:27:11 | 0:27:12 | |
for inspiring me every step of the way. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
So he's believed in you from the start? | 0:27:15 | 0:27:17 | |
No, no. He said no woman was capable of such a thing. | 0:27:17 | 0:27:21 | |
So I'm doing it to prove the smug idiot wrong. | 0:27:21 | 0:27:24 | |
Right, well, I think that's... | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
And there are sTill people trying to stop her. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:28 | |
She's pulled a gun. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:29 | |
Breaking news here, Emma Sharp's just pulled a gun. | 0:27:29 | 0:27:32 | |
There she goes, towards the finishing line, armed with a pistol | 0:27:32 | 0:27:36 | |
and accompanied by 18 policemen and a man with a loaded musket. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:40 | |
Oh, she's done it! Yes, 1,000 miles in 1,000 hours, | 0:27:40 | 0:27:43 | |
and that is one in the eye to all those chauvinist pigs | 0:27:43 | 0:27:45 | |
who said she'd never make it. Back to the studio. | 0:27:45 | 0:27:48 | |
I mean, she must have cheated. | 0:27:48 | 0:27:49 | |
There's no way that a woman could... | 0:27:49 | 0:27:51 | |
We're not sTill on air, are we, Pete? | 0:27:51 | 0:27:53 | |
# Tall tales, atrocious acts We gave you all the fearsome facts | 0:27:53 | 0:27:56 | |
# The ugly truth, no glam or glitz... | 0:27:56 | 0:27:58 | |
Can't get enough of Horrible Histories? | 0:27:58 | 0:28:00 | |
Then go to the CBBC Website and click on the link. | 0:28:00 | 0:28:03 | |
See you there. | 0:28:03 | 0:28:05 | |
# ..the past is no longer a mystery | 0:28:05 | 0:28:07 | |
# Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories. # | 0:28:07 | 0:28:11 |