Sensational Shakespeare Horrible Histories

# Terrible Tudors Gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians

# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights

# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians

# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times

# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless

# Cavemen, savage, fierce and toothless

# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages

# Gory stories, we do that

# And your host, a talking rat

# The past is no longer a mystery

# Welcome to...

# Horrible Histories. #

Horrible Histories presents...

Sensational Shakespeare.

In this week's Oh Yea! Magazine,

the sensational story of the young man who became

THE greatest writer in THE history of THE world

-and captured the heart of royalty.

-He did, you know!

You screamed at his Macbeth!

You gasped at his Hamlet!

Alas, poor Yorick,

I... Ah!

You laughed at his Bottom.

That was the character's name, OK?

No-one was laughing at my bottom.

Look, I'm trying to write a play.

Now, finally, the mind-blowing truth

about William Shakespeare before he was famous.

What? There must be something juicy!

His parents - exposed!

I'm Shakespeare's dad, John.

And I'll tell you the truth about

my quiet life as a local businessman.

Rubbish! What about some saucy romance?

I'm Anne Hathaway and I'll spill all my secrets of my marriage

-to William Shakespeare!

-Sizzling secrets!

Naughty secrets!

We got married...

and had some kids!

BORING secrets! Oh, come on, guys!

I had some debts and...

Oh, I used to make gloves.

It is a FASCINATING process...

Pathetic!

Discover Shakespeare's early life,

which we don't really know anything about.

Exclusive, in Oh Yea! Magazine,

(but I wouldn't bother, TBH.)

You realise I can hear you?

It's true! Shakespeare's early life is a bit of a mystery.

We hardly know anything about him until he moved

from Stratford-upon-Avon to London

to make his name in the theatre.

And theatre was huge in Tudor times.

It had to be - there wasn't any telly.

Cor - imagine that. No telly!

All the actors and playwrights were like mega-famous celebs.

Yeah. They behaved THAT badly.

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

It all got a bit fruity backstage.

The bounder came at me with a lute!

So I put him down with a perfect witty response.

Ah, what was that, Spenser?

I decked him! Haaa!

Banter!

Excuse me! Is this where all the...theatre stars hang out?

Fan boy alert.

-Should I give him an autograph... or kill him?

-Nice!

Lad, you are addressing the greatest theatrical stars of the age.

Ben Jonson, actor and writer,

Kit Marlowe, playwr...

-SIGHING:

-Where's he gone?

Ha-ha! Surprise!

Master of disguise!

And this is Gabriel Spenser.

He's just an actor, but we let him hang out with us

because he likes drinking and fighting.

He also does a good line in literary criticism.

This wine is literally disgusting!

I might come back later, when you're less busy and, um...drunk.

Ha! That'll be never!

What do you want, spod?

Well, actually, I was looking for some advice.

Basically, at the moment,

I'm mainly, like, an actor,

but, like, I'm looking to get more into writing and, like,

I'm mainly specialising in playing old man parts...

Old man parts!

Very funny. Um...

My name is...

William Shakespeare.

-Set square?

-No, er... Shakespeare.

-Shark beer?

-Shakespeare.

-Shake n' Vac?

-Shakespeare.

Snack pot?

That literally sounds nothing like Shakespeare.

Well, anyway, I write plays.

Listen up, skateboard.

Writing plays is a rookie mistake.

Real writers drink and fight

and go to prison.

Well, I have a wife and kids, so I have to earn a living.

Unlike some people.

Anyway, I'm pretty good at writing plays, a lot of buzz around me.

Oooh!

Look at me, I'm Billy Springle-spangle

and I write plays and I plan for the future!

-I genuinely don't know who that's supposed to be.

-It's you!

Look, I'm not good at impressions, right? But I am good at fighting!

Consider yourself taunted - outside!

Listen, buddy, I'm a writer, not a fighter!

And I'm going all the way to the top, without you guys.

Everyone will know my name.

-William...

-Star squeam.

Should have seen that coming.

Good for you, stage smear. Top bloke!

(Nerd!)

I heard that.

Hey, history lovers. Comin' at ya,

it's Eliza-brills and Eliza-thrills!

It's the top three most epic things ever in Elizabethan entertainment.

At three...

..by William Shakespeare.

The boy from the sticks has come out of nowhere

and is taking the London theatre scene by storm.

Shrews are so hot right now.

I want one!

Not that kind of shrew!

A shrew as in a nagging, angry, grumpy woman.

Ew! I DON'T want one.

At two, you guessed it,

it's another play by William "Show Off" Shakespeare!

It's Much Ado!

What's it about?

Nothing!

Gotcha! It's not really about nothing!

It's about a totes emosh comedy

where everyone's like, lovers,

then, like, haters, then, like, all dressing up as each other.

Shakespeare's plays are, like, super hot right now.

I'm, like, Christopher Marlowe who?

Ben Jonson who?

And at number one, the most Elizabest-est fun thing evs is...

It's not a play, it's a live show

with a monkey riding a horse

and a dog chasing it around the stage.

WHAT?

People watch this? It's a cool thing?

Oh, yes... Of course it's a cool thing! I knew that!

Monkeys and horses are SO hot right now.

And that's your Elizabethan entertainment round-up for today!

Selfie!

Ah! Good morrow.

I'm an actor, I came the moment I received your text.

-I sent that four hours ago.

-He wasn't a very fast runner.

-Well, basically, we need...

-Sorry, can I stop you there?

I am a massive Shakespeare fan.

Whatever this part, I shall not let you down.

-OK, well, basically...

-Ooh!

Is it Richard III?

"Now is the winter of our discontent..."

-No, it's not.

-Or is it Hamlet?

"To be...or not to be."

It's not to be.

OK. Ooh!

Is it Henry V?

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more."

-It's not Henry V.

-OK, what is the role?

Well, basically they had bear baiting and dog fighting in here

last night and we need you to clear up the bear poo

before the audience arrives.

Actually, you should probably clean up the dog poo while you're at it.

And the bits of dog.

Oh.

Well, once more unto the breach, dear friend,

once more!

SQUELCH!

-Ooh! Think you've trodden in...

-Oh...

Actually, I think that was one of mine.

Surely that's bear poo?

Yeah, that's bear poo.

Yes, there were no loos in Elizabethan theatres -

and worse still, no loos in a lot of the houses,

so people just chucked their poo and wee out of the window every morning.

Charming!

Oh, Catherine, I do so love the dawn. And I love you!

Oh, Francis!

Catherine, we have been courting since childhood.

Would you consent to be my wife?

Yes!

Oh, Catherine, I want to remember this moment forever.

I don't think that will be a problem.

# Do-do-do do-do Do-do-do do do do-do

# Never seen so much do-do Do-do-do do do do-do

# I'm singing in urine

# Just singing in urine

# It's raining number ones

# In the street that I'm in

# This piddle from above

# Cannot dampen my love

# I'm singing and dancing

# In urine.. #

Huh!

And now, we have so much to plan.

The venue, the guest list, and of course, your bridal shower.

You HAD to say it, didn't you?

Take it from the top...

I've come to 17th-cent...century London

to witness a performance of Shakespeare's tr...

tragic masterpiece, Romeo And Juliet.

What a visceral, immersive experience -

the actors creating these sights and sounds of a rowdy mob.

We ain't acting, mate! We're the audience!

But you're...peasants!

Yeah, so what? Everyone likes Shakespeare, don't they?!

It only cost a penny, so even wretches like us can get in!

Oh, well, that is wonderful. Art of course should be for everyone.

Here, you've got something on your shirt, mate... Ha!

-Now, let's find my seat.

-Seat?! You're having a laugh, mate!

It's standing only down here.

If you want a seat, you're going

to have to pay extra, like them poshy-pants up there.

Oh, there are my people! Hail, fellow...

EXPLOSION

Oh!

What on earth was that? The riffraff are revolting!

Nah, mate - it's just the special effects!

What... What is THIS?

To pee or not to pee!

Yeah, OK. It's really good.

Shakespeare himself - let's see what the Bard makes of all this.

Maestro!

Oh, Maestro - tell us,

what is the inspiration behind your timeless classic,

Romeo And Juliet?

This.

Romeus And Juliet by Arthur Brooke?

You mean...you ripped it off?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I didn't rip it off, OK? Let me tell you what I did.

I took it and made it my own, do you see the difference?

Just sprinkled some of that magic dust on it,

that is bona fide Shakespeare, baby.

This is one of your classics!

Timeless theatre!

-Cabbage.

-What?

What a rip-off! It's true, though.

Shakespeare often borrowed his plots from other stories.

You could say he was an early recycler!

Suit yourself.

But it was his hard work

and incredible way with words that

set him above his roguish rivals.

Hey, writers - why don't you drop some lyrics?

-RAPS:

-Yo, yo, put down your quill

This show is about to get real

Writers in the house!

Drop a beat!

You can call me Jonson I'm straight out of jail

I scribble down my plays so that I can post bail

I wrote 30 plays I'm a lyrical saviour

Got sent to prison for my lewd behaviour

Christopher Marlowe Street name Kit

Did time in Holland cos my cash was counterfeit

Mention I'm a spy and you're going to get hit

Obviously I can't talk about that bit

S to the P to the E to the enser

Spenser, ah-ah, ah-ah More like a fencer

Stabbed a man but I'm claiming self-defence, yeah

To the writers in the pub Things are getting tenser

# And I am Shakespeare

# I'm working hard on my writing!

# I've got sound investments

-# And I'm not into fighting

-What?!

# My plays are wild

# But I'm financially prudent

# They want to go to prison

# But personally, I wouldn't. #

Listen up, bro!

I killed a man who was armed with some candles

I'd fight a duel if you wore the wrong sandals

I'm in jail so much that I'm wearing out my cuffs

You could call us writers but we're just a bunch of roughs

# And I am Shakespeare I do the job properly

# Building my plays and a portfolio of property... #

ALL: Embarrassing.

# I want to write the greatest plays ever

# But staying out of trouble would seem to be clever... #

No, no, no, no way! I'm going to die drunk in a fight

Keep it real, he's going to kill me for a slight

I'm fighting so often there's barely time to write

Forget about your quill We'll be up all night.

Introducing Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth I.

Say, what?

I'm Queen L to the I to the Z

Ruling this land from the sea to the sea

Shakespeare's plays are the plays I wanna see

So drop another Falstaff ting on me

King James, her successor Feeling just the same

I like him so much That I'm giving him my name

-Thanks!

-The King's Men - the greatest in the land.

Well, isn't this nice? Turned out grand.

Nice work, William.

Becoming a success wasn't easy in Elizabethan times

and neither was staying healthy, particularly

if you listened to the advice Tudor doctors were giving out.

It's hard to find the time to eat well.

That's why it's important to make sure you're eating your...

none-a-day!

Hello. I'm an Elizabethan doctor, so I know what I'm talking about

when I say fruit helps spread disease.

Beugh! Fruit!

< MEOW!

So I advise that at times of pestilence, people eat none-a-day.

-none-a-day!

-How did you get it?

Your none-a-day can be made up of whichever delicious,

but unfortunately death-spreading, fruits you like.

You could have no apples...

App-solutely awful.

No quince!

Qu-ite deadly.

No pears!

Pear-tentially fatal

or even no damsons.

Dams...

Um...

Death!

As long as it's none-a-day!

none-a-day!

So, what are we supposed to eat instead, then?

-Try replacing your fruit and veg with meat.

-Eurgh!

-That meat smells rotten.

-Of course!

You're too poor for the good stuff!

So, remember - when it comes to fruit, always have your none-a-day!

None-a-day keeps the Elizabethan doctor away!

BOY VOMITS

That'll be the fruit from earlier.

Yes, all right - mind the shoes!

Hi, there.

Now, the problem with becoming super famous is that

I have to sign autographs, like, all the time.

But tell me this - how did I spell my name?

Was it...

The answer is of course C.

William...Shakespeare.

Wait, no... It was A.

No, it was B.

Hang on - it was all of them!

That's right, I spelt my name lots of different ways.

Between you and me, spelling - not a big deal in my time.

No spelling tests. Sa-weet!

An actual part, this time?

Yes, you're filling in for the lead actor, who died of smallpox,

-so he's got the week off.

-The lead?

-I always did see myself as a bit of a Romeo.

-Wardrobe.

Yeah, two noble Italian families at war,

their children marrying in secret.

I will be the best Romeo you...

-HIGH-PITCHED:

-I appear to be in a dress.

-Yeah, you're playing Juliet.

Can we get this girl shaved, please?

Somebody... John!

Lippy.

Um, sorry... Er...

Juliet?

-Hm?

-Moi?

Yeah - what are we going to do? Have a girl playing the part?

We don't have women on stage!

Obviously, but no-one's going to believe a man of my virility

-and manly manliness is a pretty young girl...

-Excuse me, madam.

-Where's the bloke playing Juliet?

-Behind you.

Give us the wig.

-But no snogging. And if anyone wolf whistles, I'm out of there.

-Fine.

Now get ready for your entrance, it will be you

and the gentle nurse who breast-fed you as a child.

Another last-minute replacement, but I'm sure you'll be fine.

Right. Is my bra on straight?

-Yep.

-Golden.

Mwah, mwah.

-Let's get this done, I'm wrestling at seven.

-Uh!

Break a leg.

Outrageous, but true.

Girls weren't allowed to be actors in Shakespeare's time,

so boys had to play their parts.

And they used real wrestlers for some of the fight scenes.

But if you think that was odd,

you should see what was going on in the Tudor garden.

Hello, and welcome to the opening day

of the Horrible Histories Horticultural Society Garden Show

in the time of William Shakespeare.

Or as we like to call it...

the HHHSGS ITTOWS.

And we start with one of the gold medal frontrunners -

the traditional Elizabethan garden.

Well, you've got all your English classics.

You got your roses, you got your violets.

Over there, you've got your horse's head.

Charming name. Is that some sort of daffodil?

No, it's a horse's head.

-Keeps the pests away.

-INSECTS BUZZ

-HE RETCHES

-And children.

And horse lovers, and practically everyone else.

Is there not an easier way of protecting your garden?

You can walk a toad around your garden.

And then bury him, and then dig him back up again,

and then chuck it away as far as you can.

-GLASS SMASHES

-Oi!

-So that gets rid of pests?

-Well, it gets rid of the toad.

Though not always for long.

CROAK!

To one of the more exotic gardens now,

from the Turkish Ottoman Empire.

I'm here to talk to head gardener Mehmet.

Be a pleasure to talk to a... a normal gardener. So...

These are your assistants?

Er, no, these are my prisoners.

-I thought you were a gardener.

-That's right.

But in the Ottoman royal court, the head gardener's duties

include pruning, watering, tending the hedges

and executions.

Executions?

I don't just deadhead the plants, if you know what I mean, eh?

They don't call me the HEAD gardener for nothing, eh?

-Do you get it?

-Yeah, I got... I get it, yeah.

Then perhaps you'd like to look at my runners.

Oh, lovely - runner beans.

Er, close. Runner human beans!

If they make it to the river bank, they go free.

It's the law. Get set, go!

THEY WHIMPER

I'm going to get ya!

-Missed me!

-Urgh.

-Agh!

Ohh!

Oh!

They nearly made it that time!

Want to see my hanging baskets?

Um... Out!

Oooh!

Oi!

CROAK! Tsch!

Now, life wasn't always a bed of roses

for the country's most famous playwright either.

He still had plenty of demanding fans.

And when one of your fans is the King,

well, things can get tricky.

Oh, right, come on, Willy.

Time to write that play for the King.

Right after a round of Angry Bards.

-RINGING

-Oh!

Cripes!

Your Highness!

Will! Loving your work.

How's that new play for me coming along?

Oh-ho-hoo!

Tiptop. Just adding the finishing touches.

PIG SQUEALS

Sorry, that was, um...the local pig.

Sounds pure quality. Where's it set, this play of yours?

"Where's it set?"

you ask.

Er... It is set...

Somewhere rugged and heroic?

-Scotland?

-Good lad!

Ooh...

I hope you've got some, er, witches in there.

-Witches?

-Aye, witches, witches.

You know, witches.

I wrote a book about them.

Look, get this right and the title...

The King's Men could be yours.

-Sounds good, eh?

-Hey!

How does three witches sound?

Because that's how many I've just put in... Put in before.

The King's Men it is.

-Bye-bye.

-Bye.

Witches? I haven't got the main character yet.

Well, if in doubt, consult the Holinshed history book.

Ah.

Never lets me down.

The King's Men, eh?

Think this calls for a little me treat.

-RINGING

-Oh!

Hey, my darling wife!

-When are you coming home?

-Look, great news.

I spent our holiday money on a coat of arms. Huh?!

-All the most respectable families have one.

-Ugh, really?

Yeah. I wish I could talk, but I've got to get back to work.

These plays won't write themselves.

Don't you dare hang up on me!

I love you.

Right, coat of arms.

Yes! Oh, the neighbours are going to be spitting!

DOG BARKS

-Out, Spot. Out!

-DOG WHINES

Go on!

-You're late!

-Yeah, and you're lucky I came at all.

No way am I playing a girl again. And while we're at it,

I'm not playing the donkey from A Midsummer Night's Dream,

the monster from The Tempest, or the King's hump from Richard III.

You are playing Lord Antigonus from A Winter's Tale.

Our usual actor's... Well, he's unavailable.

Mm-hm. Mm-hm. "Exit pursued by a bear."

-Who's playing the bear?

-There's your cozzie.

Oh, it looks like you're the same size as the last guy.

Mind you, he's...shorter now.

Realistic blood stains.

Ha-ha! Yeah.

-Yeah...

-So who did you say was playing the bear?

-BEAR ROARS

-Ooh!

He's very good at the voice, whoever he is.

-You remember the bear baiting?

-Yeah.

-They let us borrow a real one.

-Agh! Agh!

-BEAR ROARS

-Yeah, that's it.

Exit pursued by a bear.

-Do that on the night and you'll...

-ACTOR SCREAMS

Ooh!

John, who's next on the list?

John!

Welcome to Escape To The Historical Country

and, this week, we're in picturesque Stratford-upon-Avon.

Will and Anne Shakespeare

are looking to find their dream country retreat.

The second largest house in Stratford is on the market,

and with Stratford just a four-day cart commute from London,

prices here are high.

So, tell me, Will, what has prompted this move?

Well, basically, three years ago,

I became a shareholder in the company that produces my plays.

Um, kerching!

That was the sound of money.

Um, so the time was right to upgrade to our dream home, really.

And, er, yeah. But that said, I won't pay over the odds.

I do try to only spend on the bare essentials.

Mate, where do you want this massive and unnecessary coat of arms?

With fabulous kerb appeal and double carriage parking,

New Place is a house that really says, "I've made it."

That's not important to me.

I'm looking for a family home,

not just some big, very impressive gaff

that says, you know, "Look at me."

-Shall we go in?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-All right.

-All right.

-No, excuse me, love.

No. No, your...your...

And there you have your top-of-the-range en suite.

Now, with its innovative timber frame construction

and - count 'em - ten fireplaces, this...

11. There are 11 fireplaces.

..this really is an ideal home for a playwright.

Look, forget the plays.

I'm all about being a landowner and a respectable businessman now.

Isn't writing plays respectable? ANNE LAUGHS

Oh, you are joking!

It's somewhere between, er...

cockfighting and a monkey riding a pig.

Er, excuse me, mate, where do you want us to stick this?

I've got a couple of suggestions.

-Why are you doing this?

-You didn't tell me about any of this.

I definitely told you. You were asleep or something.

So, Will and Anne, it's crunch time.

A property like this is not going to stay on the market for long.

Do you think you'll be putting in an offer?

Look, this is a big house.

Really much more suited for a prosperous country gentleman

-than a mere scribbler of plays.

-I agree.

So, yes, I will definitely be buying it.

Ugh! Finally! Right... Stick it up here?

Yeah, right up there, please, where everyone can see it.

-Ugh! Ooh, watch out.

-Ahh!

Oh!

-Works for me. Drink?

-Mochaccino.

Ow!

Shakespeare became so famous that everyone knew his words and phrases.

Great for publicity.

Not so great when you just want to do the shopping.

Five groats a bag, I ask you!

Oi, oi... Oi, look, there's that Shakespeare back from London Town.

-Ooh!

-Oi! Oi, Shakespeare.

A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse.

-Yes.

-Don't set him off again.

Yes, that was me. Thanks, guys, well done.

VILLAGERS LAUGH

Every dog will have its day!

HE LAUGHS

Look at his face!

Oh, dear, Mrs Shakespeare, has he eaten you out of house of home?

That is the question!

Look, guys...

I am so glad that you like my work.

But I would just really appreciate it, mate,

if you could let us shop in peace. Thank you.

Listen, we have talked about this. It's a compliment, remember?

Then why does it feel like he's winding me up?

And you, Mrs S, have a face that could launch a thousand ships.

BUZZER

Excuse me!

That is not my line! That is Christopher Marlowe.

VILLAGERS: Ooh!

-I think he's got a touch of the green-eyed monster.

-Ooh, yes!

I'm not jealous of Christopher Marlowe!

-Is that what that means?

-Parting is such sweet sorrow.

I think he liked that.

VILLAGERS LAUGH

Are we done?

Yes.

Right, um...

So sorry about that.

How much do we owe you for the food he, er, used?

-Seven shillings.

-Right.

Um... Oh, gosh.

I'm afraid I've only got five. Is there any chance I could owe you?

No. You know what they say.

Neither be a borrower nor someone who lends people things.

It's - "neither a borrower nor a lender be".

It's a very famous line.

Get it right!

-Please!

-Right.

-It's time to move house again?

-Yeah, now.

OK. Good riddance, eh?

I'm sorry, I forgot that was one of yours. I...

I'll be in the shed.

Hamlet. Macbeth.

Richard III.

Henry V.

Othello.

All killer, no filler.

But what was my most successful work during my lifetime?

The answer is, of course...

You've never heard of it? That's my most successful poem.

That's right -

my poems were sometimes more successful than my plays.

Hang on, I'll do it for you.

Er, wait, let me just check it. Um...

Yes, here we go.

"If music be the..." No, that's not it.

Er, give me five.

There are so many Shakespeare plays

that some people think he couldn't possibly have written them all.

I said a frothy cappuccino made with oaten milk. You're fired.

-'Wait, no, give me...'

-Ah, the man himself.

Author of Macbeth, Hamlet and Othello.

-I thank you!

-The Earl of Oxford.

-I'm not the Earl of Oxford.

-Sorry, Christopher Marlowe.

-I'm William Shakespeare.

-No, you're not.

Shakespeare just put his name on those plays.

Those other guys wrote them.

No, well, I think that's unlikely,

given that the Earl of Oxford died before I wrote a lot of those plays,

as did Marlowe.

Well, I read it on the internet, so it must be true.

Read it, did you? Who is this guy?

-Terence, you're fired.

-Ugh!

See ya, Terence.

-So, Will, what can I do for you?

-Well, I have a proposal for you.

All of my plays in one book -

The Complete Works Of William Shakespeare.

It's been done, darling, many, many times.

But...I didn't publish any of my works.

Not in your lifetime, darling. This is the modern world.

I'll tell you what the public want - something new. How about a sequel?

Hamlet Strikes Back.

Richard III...D.

12th Night 2: 13th Night.

Or what about a rerun of your latest play?

-Vortigern And Rowena.

-What's that?

Last done in Georgian times with your name on it.

-I didn't write that play.

-A-ha!

So you're NOT the writer of the William Shakespeare plays.

Terence, you can have your job back. Sebastian, you're fired.

No, that's not a Shakespeare play.

That must have been faked by someone long after I died.

-Terence, you're fired. Basti, you're back in.

-Ugh!

See ya, Terence.

Will, have you ever thought of using one of your stories

as a basis of...I don't know, a movie or a cartoon?

Um... Hamlet set in a pride of lions.

-There could be an evil uncle lion...

-It's been done - Lion King.

Well, fine, then. Romeo And Juliet: The Musical, but with gangs.

West Side Story.

-Romeo And Juliet with garden gnomes.

-Gnomeo And Juliet.

Looks quite good.

-Taming Of The Shrew: The Musical.

-Kiss Me Kate.

Taming Of The Shrew as a '90s teen romcom.

10 Things I Hate About You.

Basically, everything Shakespeare-related

has been done to death, darling.

What about the Earl of Oxford?

-Sorry?

-I said, what about the Earl of Oxford?

-But you're not him.

-Yes, but the internet thinks I am, doesn't it?

So are you suggesting...?

The Complete Works Of The Earl Of Oxford.

Ahh! Ooh, thou est a genius, my lord. Deal!

-I feel dirty.

-Kiss it.

Shakespeare died in 1616, aged only 52,

but he had changed the English language forever.

And even today, 400 years later, we're still using his words

and enjoying his plays all over the world.

Top work, Mr S. You really are the greatest.

He's left us with over 150 poems, 38 plays, like Hamlet, Macbeth, and...

You know what? He can tell you himself.

And a one, a two, a one, two, three, four.

# That's right, it starts in 1589

# Yes, all these plays of mine

# Well, if you've got the time

# First up, Two Gentlemen Of Verona

# Play number two was The Taming Of The Shrew

# Then Henry VI Part II and III

# And Titus Andronicus I wrote that, too

# Henry VI Part I, kind of a prequel

# Edward III, Richard III Keeping it regal

# Theatres close Uh-oh, no shows, what to do?

# Wrote sonnets instead Love poems to you

# Back on track with Comedy Of Errors

# Love's Labours Lost Love's Labours Won

# History beckoned, Richard II

# I make that a dozen I've done

# Romeo And Juliet I nicked the plot, is where it's set

# Midsummer Night's Dream, King John No sweat

# Merchant Of Venice Merry Wives Of Windsor

# Henry IV, two parts for my sins

# A list of the plays what I wroted

# And you'll find what I wrote often quoted

# My back catalogue is looking bloated

# Deep breath time

# Much Ado About Nothing Henry V and Julius Caesar

# As You Like It

# To be or not to be Hamlet was writ by me

# Twelfth Night, all right Troilus And Cressida

# Measure For Measure Othello, All's Well

# Oh, dear, King Lear That didn't end well

# Timon Of Athens and Macbeth

# Antony And Cleo I ain't finished yet

# A list of the plays what I've written

# I'm the greatest playwright in Great Britain

# Still some more, though, if you're not yet smitten

# One last time

# Pericles, Prince Of Tyre Coriolanus

# Winter's Tale, Cymbeline The Tempest, famous

# Cardenio, Henry VIII

# And then last up It's Two Noble Kinsmen

# The end of the list that I wroted

# Not unreasonable how much I've gloated

# Your respect for my work duly noted

# Will-i-am!

# My plays, they did bubble and boil

# Yes, I brought new life into the soil

# Fit for shuffling off this mortal coil

# Stood the test of time

# Whose name do you all remember?

# Mine. #

CHEERING