The Amazing Armando Hotel Trubble

Welcome to Hotel Trubble! Meet Sally, our receptionist.

Always service with a smile!

And that's Lenny. He's a man of many talents.

We're just not sure what they are yet.

And here's Mrs Poshington and her cat, General Sirius Poshington.

MEOW!

She's our regular pest... I mean...guest.

She never leaves.

Which just leaves me, Jamie.

I'm the bellboy.

Can I take your bags?

# Hotel Trubble forever

# It's the pits and we know it

# Stuck, but we love it

# Hotel Trubble forever

# As we try to survive

# Each day brings disaster

# Hotel Trubble forever

# We're a team staying calm on and on

# So the hotel survives

# Trubble Trubble, always got a plan

# Hotel Trubble, we're your biggest fan

# Trubble Trubble, keep the hotel alive! #

Meow!

Sally, why is the Biography channel in the TV room not working?

I don't know,

why IS the Biography channel in the TV room not working?!

Well, that's what I wanted you to tell me!

That's not a very funny punch line, Mrs Poshington.

It's not a joke!

I cannot get the Biography channel in the television room to work.

And Sirius and I want to watch the Girls Aloud retrospective,

so of course it's very disappointing.

Especially for Sirius.

He's a big Cheryl fan.

Never fear, Mrs Poshington.

I'll see to it personally.

You will?! Heaven help us!

Oh, Jamie?

Mrs Poshington's asked

if YOU can fix the Biography channel in the TV room.

OK, but first there's the pressing issue

of the arrival of our VIG.

-Our VIG?

-Very Important Guest, The Amazing Armando!

The Amazing Armando?!

The celebrity magician- slash-hypnotist-slash-mind-reader,

Amazing Armando?

Yep!

AAAH!

Why didn't you tell me?!

I did. He's doing a show here tonight, remember!

It's been on the Events Board for weeks. The Amazing Armando!

Show at Hotel Trubble! Sold Out!

PS: This has been on the Events Board for weeks.

AAA-AAA-AAH...!

PHONE RINGS

..AA-AAAH...!

Yes, Mr Trubble...

Yep, yep, right, Mr Trubble.

Yep, The Amazing Armando's show must go without a hitch.

I understand.

..AAA-AAH...!

On the double, Mr Trubble. OK, goodbye, bye!

SHE STRUGGLES TO BREATHE

I think he's pretty amazing.

-Yeah, I kind of got that impression.

-I so heart him.

-Yes, all right.

He's here!

CRASH!

The Amazing Armando is here!

Hey!

I know I'm amazing,

but there's no need to go down on the floor and bow!

LAUGHTER

You can if you want.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Let me guess...the name is...

..Lenny!

Ohh... Wow!

How did you do that?

Because I'm amazing!

Lenny, look into my eyes.

Mr Amazing, you're not supposed to hypnotise anyone randomly.

Save it for the show or it'll be Skegness all over again.

SCREAMING, TRUMPETS BLARE

Lenny, can you help me bring in some of our props?

# She may be the beauty or the beast

# May be the famine or the feast

# May turn each day into heaven

# Or hell

# She may be the mirror of my dream

# A smile reflected in a stream... #

Yeah, I-I-I'd love to!

Please, after you.

RIPPING

Oops! Sorry.

RIPPING

Ah, ah, sorry.

Maybe you should go first, Lenny.

Yes, sorry, Mr...

Sorry to...

-Hello, Mr Amazing.

-Yes...

I know what you're thinking. There's something you really, really want.

Ah!

I have it!

Ah, ha ha ha ha!

-That's SO amazing!

-I know.

Well, maybe you'd like to go up to your room to freshen up, Mr Amazing?

Great idea.

Well, that's just showing off.

Oof!

Aaaghh!

-Lenny?

-Uh... Yep.

-You all right there?

-Er, yeah.

I was just, er...looking at this.

-What is it?

-This is the vanishing cabinet.

What happens is, I get inside and The Amazing Armando makes me disappear.

Then, I reappear somewhere else.

Cue massive applause.

APPLAUSE

-A bit like that.

-Oh, right.

And, er, say if...it got damaged somehow, or...

I don't know, somebody dropped it... Would it still work?

Oh, that would be a disaster! But luckily that's never happened.

I'm just going to check it's all right inside.

Ooh, what's this?

Oh, well, you see, Claire, there was a teeny, tiny accident...

I tried to get the box through the door,

and then the handle came off!

So I didn't know what else to do with it.

I put it inside... I thought it'd be all right,

and I thought you wouldn't notice, but...sorry.

Claire?

Claire?

Oh...! Uh-oh.

I work at Hotel Trubble and we've got a magician staying at the hotel.

And I accidentally made the assistant disappear.

I put her in the box, and she just disappeared!

I don't know where she went! It was a complete accident,

I was wondering if you could help me try and bring her back?

You'll help me, you've got the magic gloves!

I'm gonna lose my job, though, if you don't help me. Please!

Right. All I need you to do is,

if you close your eyes, and wave the wand, like that,

and shout "Abracadabra" maybe she'll come back!

Spin round really slow and shout, "Claire, come back!"

Claire, come back!

# Magic, magic, magic

# Won't be the same after tonight

# Magic, magic, magic

# Like magic... #

Claire? You try, I don't want...

Claire? Claire? You see if she's in there. I don't...

Ahh!

Ahhhh!

THEY LAUGH

That's not...that's not Claire!

Aaah!

# They did the monster mash

# The monster mash

# It was a graveyard smash

# It was a smash

-# It caught on in a flash

-The monster mash

# They did the monster mash... #

That's not Claire!

-How did you do...?

-Oh, my God, what happened?!

My heart's racing a bit.

My heart's racing cos I'm in trouble if I don't find Claire!

Lenny! Have you seen Claire? Mr Amazing's looking for her.

Er...nope, er...yeah. She said she had to go out.

Something about looking for a... a tap-dancing badger.

TAPPING

-A tap-dancing badger?

-Yeah. For the show tonight.

Very important, apparently.

Wow. That I'd like to see.

# Lookin' for some hot stuff, baby, this evening

# I need some hot stuff... #

Anyway, I'm just going to take this last bag up to Mr Amazing's room.

It's OK, it's OK! I'll do it, I'll do it.

Oh. Well, thank you very much, Lenny!

Claire?

Claire?

Claire?

Claire?

TOILET FLUSHES

Hello there.

Hello, Mr Amazing.

Everything all right down there?

Yeah, yeah, Mr Amazing.

So, do you want to come out now?

Yeah, I was, er...

..just checking how comfortable the floor is.

And, er, yep, it's a very nice floor,

Mr Armando, very comfortable indeed.

So...I'll be going then.

Wait!

Are you feeling sleepy, Lenny?

No. I feel wide awake.

How wide? This wide?

-Nope.

-This wide?

-Yep, that's it!

Ha ha ha ha!

I'm impressed.

So, I suppose the last thing you'd want do right now is...SLEEP!

Now, Lenny, every time you hear the words "white chocolate",

you will bark - woof! - like a dog.

Do you understand? Do you understand...do you understand...?

Very good.

When I click my fingers, you will awake refreshed,

with no memory of our little chat.

That's right, Mr Amazing,

the last thing I'd want to do is sleep right now.

So...I'll be off then.

-Bye, Lenny!

-Bye.

-Well done, young man.

-Excuse me?

Dare I say it, but it looks like the customer service

is finally improving at long last!

The General agrees, don't you, General?

-Meow!

-I'm afraid I don't understand, madam.

I'm talking about you fixing the television.

Actually, I don't work here.

But, think of a shape, any shape, and I'll guess what it is.

I beg your pardon?

Think of a shape, and I'll guess it.

-A diamond?

-Yes, I'm so good!

Well, if you don't work here, why is it you look vaguely familiar?

Maybe you recognise me from somewhere else?

No. Good day!

Claire?

Claire?

Claire?

-Please be in here!

-BOO!

-AAH!

Ha! Gotcha! If you're looking for my white chocolate...

-Woof!

-What?

-What?

-I said, if you're looking for my white chocolate...

-Woof!

..you won't find it in there.

Right, there's still no sign of Claire.

But I've kept The Amazing Armando happy

-by giving him some white-chocolate pancakes.

-Woof!

-Is everything all right, Lenny?

-Yeah, absolutely fine.

OK, I admit it!

Claire isn't really out looking for a tap-dancing badger.

I made that up.

-Because I accidentally made her disappear!

-What?!

So there's not going to be a tap-dancing badger?

I was really looking forward to that bit!

But if she doesn't re-appear, then Mr Amazing has no assistant,

and if there's no assistant...

-Then there's no show!

-Oh, Lenny!

-It's all my fault.

Come on, Lenny, we can sort this out.

We just need to remain calm and come up with a proper plan.

Th-Th-This is brilliant!

-How?

-Duh! I could do it!

I could be The Amazing Armando's new assistant!

This could be like a whole new career for me,

my name in bright lights! Ahhh!

Like I said, we just need to remain calm and come up with a proper plan.

-What's wrong with my plan?

-I just think you might get a bit...

How can I put this? Carried away.

-No, I don't understand.

-I'll deal with this one.

I think what Jamie's trying to say

is sometimes you might get a bit big-headed

and try to steal the limelight from The Amazing Armando.

-Thank you, Lenny.

-You're welcome, Sally.

I've got it! I've got it! We hold auditions!

We get someone to stand in and tell The Amazing Armando

-that Claire sent them. Perfect!

-I still think I could do it.

What qualities does an assistant need to have?

-Oh! Present objects with a flourish.

-I could do that.

-Look glamorous.

-Obviously, I could do that.

# Is my body too bootylicious for ya, baby? #

-Smile at the audience.

-I could do that!

Right! Let's hit the streets.

SHE GROWLS

OK. So we need to find a new assistant for The Amazing Armando.

Now, Lenny, you've got the cards, Sally, you've got the boa.

Right, let's get to work.

OK! STEP RIGHT UP! STEP RIGHT UP!

We need an assistant for The Amazing Armando.

Do you want to try out

to be an assistant for The Amazing Armando?

All you need to do is twirl around and smile!

Would you like to be the magician's assistant?

What we're gonna get you to do

is maybe do a big spin, big arms and go, "Ta-dah!,"

and we'll see if you can be our next magician's assistant.

-TA-DAAAAAA!

-Jump, jump, jump!

Yeah. I think maybe do it one more time with the jump at the end.

TA-DAAAAAA!

Flourish, present yourself at the end,

yeah, and now make me disappear.

-Make you disappear?

-Say, "Abracadabra."

Abracadabra!

-Big smile!

-And a big smile!

-Ta-daaaa!

-Ta-daa!

-Ta-daaaa!

Ta-daaa!

-Five!

-Two.

-Five.

-One.

-You get a one from me.

-Two.

-Two.

-Two.

Don't call us, cos we might call you.

Right, ready, we've got our next contestant.

-Oh, hello.

-Hello! How are you?

Right. OK?

So after three, Joseph, you need to give a big smile. One, two, three!

# Oh, oh, oh, it's magic

# You know

# Never believe it's not so... #

-Er, two.

-That's a bit harsh!

-Two.

-Jamie will call you.

-I will not call you.

YOU WERE RUBBISH.

-You should know that now. You were terrible.

-NEXT!

Right, we're gonna need to go with plan B.

-What's plan B?

-You tell me.

I've got a plan B.

I could do it!

-Anyone got a plan C?

-Oh, come on, Jamie!

We tried to find someone else and that didn't work.

I can do this, I know I can.

Sally, I don't know...

Pretty please? Pretty, pretty, pretty please?

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please?

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please!

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pre...

All right, OK, OK!

So does that mean...?

Yes!

I'm gonna be fa-mous, I'm gonna be fa-mous, I'm gonna be fa-mous...

-Yes, well...

-I'm gonna be fa-mous, I'm gonna be fa-mous...

-Ohh...!

..be fa-mous...

Lenny! Lenny!

..I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be...

We'll call...

We'll tell The Amazing Armando that Claire called with a message.

She can't do the show because she's ill.

-Do you think that'll work?

-Yeah! If someone's ill,

they can't really work, can they? I'm sure he'll understand.

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

I'm gonna be fa-mous, I'm gonna be...

SHE CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY

-Sally, it's OK.

-I'm gonna...

-I'm gonna be...

-Shall we phone an ambulance?

But I don't understand!

Don't worry, Mr Amazing. The show can still go on!

Claire's asked me to step in.

Have you ever been on a stage before?

Yeah, I was in Cinderella at school.

-You were Cinderella?

-No, I was a sheep.

I'm sure if you gave Sally a chance...

You've never been on stage, you don't know any tricks,

your hair's not as glossy as Claire's,

and your teeth aren't sparkly.

Yeah, they are! Check out these gnashers!

GROWLING

-Are you sure Claire's not coming back?

-I'm afraid not, Mr Amazing.

But she doesn't even have a stage outfit!

Tah-dah!

Wow! I didn't see that coming.

OK, Sandy.

-Sally.

-We're gonna have to rehearse.

Don't worry, Mr Amazing, I'm a really fast learner.

You're rubbish.

Oh! Oh, no!

Please let me have another go, I know I can do it!

Whoa! Watch out, Lenny!

You could have had my eye out there!

Yeah! Woo!

It was an accident!

There's a lot of accidents happening around here today.

Lenny accidentally made Claire disappear,

you accidentally knocked out Mr Amazing.

MR AMAZING SNORES

OK, come on, we need to try and wake him up.

We're stuffed!

Wake up! I can't miss out on my chance at stardom!

-I neeeed it! Do you hear me?!

-Sally, calm down!

Look, look!

-Oh, pants.

-No, no, no, wait, this is brilliant! This is good, Sally.

This means that shouting works.

If we get the loudest shouter, record them and play them to Mr Amazing,

we can wake him up!

-Genius!

-OK, so this plan's going to get me on stage tonight,

-so what are we waiting for?

-Come on.

Jamie, where's Lenny?

Oh, he's on the ladybug ride in the fairground.

Hello, could you help us, please?

We're looking for someone to shout "Wake up" really loudly.

We'll record it and play it

to The Amazing Armando, who's in a deep sleep.

-One, two, three!

-Wake up!

-Yes! That was fierce!

-You could do better.

One, two, three!

-Wake up!

-Wake up!

Wake up!

Wake up!

Wake up!

Wake up!

Where were you?!

WAKE UUUUUPPPP!

We can go louder. We can actually go a bit louder, I think.

OK, you ready? Three, two, one...

-ALL:

-WAKE UUUU-UUU-UUUPPPP!

If you could just shout "Wake up" really loud, and I'll record it...

WAKE UU-UUU-UUU...

# You know you make me wanna shout, put my hands up and... #

Wake up!

Wake up!

Wake up!

Wake up!

-Wake up!

-Wake up!

..UUU-UUPPPP!

That was ama... That was amazing!

-Everyone ready?

-Yep.

-Everyone ready?

-Yeah.

-'Wake up!

-Wake up...'

TURNS UP VOLUME

-'Wake up!

-Wake up!

-Wake up!

-Wake up!'

SHE GROWLS, MAKES ELEPHANT NOISE

Do you, er, mind keeping the noise down?

Why didn't you say you could do that?!

I've always been good at animal noises. It's no big deal.

I can do...cheetah...

SHE GROWLS

..horse...

SHE NEIGHS

..pterodactyl...

SHE SCREECHES

Ooh!

Well, thanks to you, the show can go on!

And I can still be famous!

We're saved. This is brilliant!

This is SO brilliant, Sally, I could kiss you!

-I'm just gonna go and get ready for the show.

-Yeah.

You can kiss me if you like, Jamie.

Right there.

-Well, looks like it all worked out in the end, Lenny.

-Yeah.

I tell you what, though, I wish I hadn't made Claire disappear

in the first place. Then we wouldn't have been in this mess.

Lovely Claire.

I can't believe this handle's fallen off again!

I keep telling Mr Amazing we need a new cabinet,

but he's too tight to buy one. Were you there a minute ago?

Jamie, Jamie! Do I look amazing enough for Mr Amazing?

SHE GASPS

# It shoulda been me

# Instead of her, walking with you... #

Oh, this is SO unfair!

Can someone please tell me what's going on?

SALLY CRIES LOUDLY

Hey! Ha ha! Thank you!

Thank you so much! The beautiful Claire.

Ha ha, thank you. I love you all!

Thank you so much, ah ha ha ha!

The Amazing Armando has left the building. Good night.

Yes, Mr Trubble.

The Amazing Armando's show was a great success. Yep. Oh!

Thank you very much, Mr Trubble!

Oh, it's no trouble, Mr Trubble.

OK, goodbye, Mr Trubble! Bye. Bye.

That was Mr Trubble.

-Hmm.

-He's very happy indeed about how well the show went.

-Yippee.

Well, now I've just got to sort out this man-eating crocodile in room 17.

-Back again, is it?

-Yeah, 'fraid so, Sally.

SCREAMING AND SPLASHING

Sally?

What's the complaint today, Mrs Poshington?

-I don't have a complaint.

-Are you sure?

-Yes, I am!

I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed

The Amazing Armando's show last night.

It took me back to my younger days

when I was assistant to the great illusionist Jumpin' Jack Jacobs.

He was also the person

-who introduced me to white chocolate.

-Woof!

I was a great beauty in those days. I had flame-red hair,

an hourglass figure, very long legs, and...

PHONE RINGS

Mrs Poshington, I'm going to have to stop you there.

Phones to answer.

Hello, Hotel Trubble?

# Hotel Trubble forever

# It's the pits and we know it

# Stuck, but we love it

# Hotel Trubble forever

# We're a team, staying calm on and on

# So the hotel survives

# Trubble Trubble, keep the hotel alive. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]