Demolition Day Hotel Trubble

Welcome to Hotel Trubble. Meet Sally, our receptionist,

always service with a smile.

And that's Lenny. He's a man of many talents.

We're just not sure what they are yet.

And here's Mrs Poshington and her cat, General Sirius Poshington.

She's our regular pest, I mean, guest.

She never leaves.

Which just leaves me, Jamie.

I'm the bellboy.

Can I take your bags?

# Hotel Trubble forever

# It's the pits and we know it we're stuck but we love it

# Hotel Trubble forever

# As we try to survive each day brings disaster

# Hotel Trubble forever

# We're a team staying calm on and on so the hotel survives

# Trubble Trubble always got a plan

# Hotel Trubble we're your biggest fan

# Trubble Trubble keep the hotel alive. #

Good morning, Mrs Poshington, what's the complaint today...

I mean, what can I do for you today?

-Well, you can explain the shower situation to me.

-No problem.

It's a small white box on the wall of your bathroom.

If you press the "on" button,

water will shoot out of the nozzle, enabling you to wash.

That's not what I meant!

What I want to know is why, instead of my shower producing water,

it seems to be sprouting... pineapple juice.

-Don't worry, I'll have it changed immediately.

-Thank you.

Would you like orange juice or lemonade instead?

I don't want it changed for another soft drink!

I want my shower to give me water!

H2O, water! Do you understand?

Yes, of course, water.

Still or sparkling?

-Sally!

-Don't worry Mrs P, I'll get it all sorted for you!

Why don't you go and put your feet up in the TV room, eh? Sound nice?

-Sorry I'm late again, Jamie!

-What was it this time, Lenny?

Your dog ate your bus money? Your dog ate your bus timetable?

Your dog ate your bus?

Don't be silly, Jamie. I wouldn't make up a daft excuse like that!

-So why are you late then?

-My alarm clock didn't go off.

Why?

My dog ate it.

All right, at least you're here now. Can you go and have a look

-at the shower in Mrs Poshington's room, please?

-Again?

-I fixed that yesterday!

-Yes, why doesn't that surprise me?

-Oh, right, yeah, this is it.

-Yep.

-Bang, straight down, sweet as.

Absolutely.

-Hello, gentlemen, can I help you?

-Yes, you can. You can tell me

who is in charge here.

Um, well, I am, I suppose. And who would like to know?

We would, mate, that's why we just asked.

Ignore my colleague, he's an idiot.

We are me, Mr Wreck and he, Mr Ball.

-Westlife.

-It's "westside".

-Still works.

-Doesn't work.

-Does.

Look, we're from Wreck and Ball Demolition Services.

# Demolition, demolition demolition. #

-Who are you?

-I'm Jamie, the bellboy.

Well, "Mr The Bellboy", we are here to serve you a notice!

-It's my turn to read it, actually.

-I'm doing it.

-You did it last time.

I'm taller, it looks better. Can I just have it please!

I'm gonna do it. I hereby serve notice that this establishment

will be demolished today at 5pm, as set out

in our five previous warning letters to this address.

-I would have done it better.

-I did it really well.

-Demolished?!

What are you talking about?

We didn't receive any warning letters!

-Not our problem, pal!

-Play the game, mate.

This flea pit is a danger to the public

and the council have instructed us to get rid of it.

-Have a nice day.

-Laters, losers.

This must be a joke!

Yeah, this hotel's getting demolished!

I'll believe it when I see it!

I don't believe it!

Sally, we've got a massive problem!

Is this about the shark in room 17?

WATER SPLASHING & SCREAMING

All right, we've got two massive problems. But this is priority!

Lenny. Lenny, you're here, good. Look guys, we need to think fast

or at 5 o'clock this hotel is gonna be demolished!

Come on, the clock is ticking and we need a brilliant idea!

-I've got it!

-Yes, Lenny?

An orange...that can transform...

into a banana.

An orange that can transform into a banana?

Yep!

Yeah, Lenny, that's a brilliant idea.

But not one that can actually help us today.

Think, people, think. Come on.

I've got it! I know exactly what we need!

-What?

-A petition!

-Bless you.

-No, a petition! We need to gather the support from the public.

We are going to protest and get ourselves on the telly!

Excuse me. Can I just ask you if you'll sign this petition,

to save Hotel Trubble so it doesn't get demolished?

I don't want to pressure you or anything,

but if you don't I will punch the rabbit.

No?

MUSIC: "I Wish" by Skee Lo

This is the way it's gonna go, I'm afraid.

Save Hotel Trubble, please!

Sign the petition, I'll keep...

MUSIC CONTINUES

All you need to do is sign, or I will carry on attacking the rabbit.

-I'll sign it. I'll sign it.

-High five, he's signing it. Yes.

I know what will get people to sign. If we say that if they sign,

we'll give them a kiss or a hug.

A kiss?!

-Kiss, kisses!

-Kisses for signatures!

Can I just get one little kiss on the cheek?

-Kisses for signatures!

-It's to save our hotel, please?

Can I have a kiss on the cheek? It's for a good cause.

Kisses for signatures.

We're signing the petition to save our hotel.

Ahhh!

Yes! No!

-Thanks!

-Kiss me!

-No, kiss me!

-Me kiss!

-Me!

-Me!

-Kiss me!

-Kissing me!

-Kisses!

-Petition, me kiss!

-Mmmwah!

Budge up a bit, then!

Excuse me! What are you doing?

Sorry, Mrs P. This is an emergency.

Yes, but I'm watching Beach City.

It's the final, cliffhanging episode and I want to see what happens!

Beach City? I read about that in the paper!

It turns out that Toni is actually Shane's uncle's brother's sister's

cousin's neighbour's old friend from ages ago's best friends ex-wife!

And they find the hidden treasure in the tree house!

-Well, thank you very much!!

-No worries, glad I could help.

Oh, quiet everyone, this is it!

'And finally, there was a public protest in support of Hotel Trubble,

' to be demolished at 5 o'clock.'

In order to stop the demolition,

a petition would need to be signed by 5,000 or more local people.

5,000?

So far, the Save Hotel Trubble petition has received only...

-56 signatures.

-Ah.

With 46 of those coming from the same person, a mysterious man,

known only as Lenny.

You're welcome, mate!

I'm sorry, Lenny,

it looks like Hotel Trubble will be demolished.

Oh, what?!

That's it then...

We're ruined!

We need a miracle!

Are you ruined and in need of a miracle?

-Yes?

-Is your hotel about to be smashed to the floor

by an evil demolition company?

-Yes!

-If you answered "yes"

to three or less of those two questions,

then look no further than Cheatem and Co!

Hang on, this could be just what we need.

Our team of Lawyers will support you through the dispute

and almost definitely, probably stop the demolition on time.

Or just afterwards.

At Cheatem and Co we are successful

in four out of five of our cases, 76% of the time!

So what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone and call us now!

Well, that's it! We need to get ourselves a top lawyer!

Yeah, right, do you know how much those lawyers cost? Millions!

Or even worse, thousands!

Just the threat of having a fancy lawyer

might put Wreck and Ball off for a bit! It's worth a try anyway.

I wouldn't waste any time setting your gear up,

this hotel is going to be saved by our brilliant lawyer!

What brilliant lawyer?

-Well, we haven't got one yet.

-No!

And you won't get one, will you?

Have you any idea how much those lawyers cost?

I know. Thousands, millions.

-Or even worse, hundreds!

-Exactly.

Look! Listen up, sunshine,

or bellboy, Jamie if that's... Is that your name?

Right, this building is coming down!

-What makes you so sure?

-Because I'm a demolition man, right?

# Demolition demolition, demolition. #

This is what I do! Demolition, man!

In my career I've served 5,001 demolition notices

-and do you know how many buildings I've actually demolished?

-5,004!

That's right, 5,004!

5,004? What do you mean, 5,004?

Well, there was that job last year,

when we were supposed to just take out that power station,

but we also took out the local library by mistake.

-Well, yeah, I mean, technically that did happen.

-And the Football Stadium.

-Yeah, all right, that's enough.

-And that Vintage Car Showroom as well!

Remember that owner, he was mad!

Thank you, Mr Ball! Look, my point is this. We're demolition men, right?

-And when we put our minds to it, we smash things to pieces!

-Get over it!

What are you doing, Ball?

Dropped me clipboard!

-Our clipboard!

-Ours.

Sally, I've got a complaint.

What's the complaint this time Mrs Poshington?

It's that awful wrecking ball.

It's sitting right outside my window

and blocking out most of the daylight.

Why don't you close the curtains?

No! That would block out all of the daylight!

All right, keep your wig on!

I've told your before, this is not a wig, it's my real hair.

Oh, and these are my real nails!

Well, I've never been so insulted in all my life!

What about the time Lenny said your moustache looked like his dad's one?

Oh, honestly!

Right, team...

Wreck and Ball have called our bluff so now we really need that lawyer!

Think everyone, think. How can we raise enough cash?

What skills do we all have?

I can read Gossip Magazine from front to back in 11 minutes flat!

MUSIC: "Please Release Me" by Engelbert Humperdinck

Right, anything else?

-I can stick my tongue out and touch my nose!

-Really?

-Yeah!

MUSIC: "Please Release Me" by Engelbert Humperdinck

OK, guys. Here we are.

So we need to get enough money to get that lawyer.

We're going to have to use our skills and talents to do that.

So, Lenny, you go that way, Sally, you go that way,

and I'm going to go this way.

Ladies and gentlemen, roll up, roll up,

to see the greatest show on Earth today.

Would you like a traditional eye reading?

I can read your eyes for you?

I want to draw a portrait of you.

It will take one minute.

Would you like a traditional eye reading?

I can read your eyes for you?

Thank you, I think you're going

to have a lot of good luck in your life. That's £5 please.

-No.

-It's for Hotel Trubble!

Ok, I am going to draw a portrait of you.

Mm-hm, yes. This may be my best bit of art I have ever done in my life.

I need a big donation.

It is for good cause!

You know, we're trying to save the Hotel, and I need your money.

5p, 10p, £200.

This, is gonna have you digging deep in your pockets.

All right ladies and gentlemen, here we go, here we go.

YES!

Hotel Trubble!

Amazing! We actually raised enough money to hire the lawyer!

Ah, brilliant! I knew we would!

Yes... But if I deduct the money we need to replace

the antique crockery you smashed during your blindfolded juggling

-routine, that leaves us with less money than we started with.

-Oh.

My mum always said less is more.

Yes, Lenny, but in this case, less is less! Now where's Sally gone?

-She said something about a crisis in the TV room.

-What crisis?!

MUSIC: "Amazing" by Westlife

Sally! How can you sit around at a time like this?

I'm helping a guest with her query!

Now, what was your question Mrs Poshington?

Er, which one is Kian again? Is that him?

No, that's Mark.

There, that's Kian!

I like Shane. He's well gorgeous.

Yes, well, sorry to interrupt, ladies,

and Sally, it's great that you're helping the guests for once,

but can you please help me for a change and stop watching pop videos!

I can't believe it, you always have to...

Hang on a minute. Pop videos! We should make a charity pop video!

We'll raise loads of money to save the hotel! Sally, you're brilliant!

Ah! There! That one's Kian!

-No, that's Nicky.

-Oh.

OK, Mr John, you're in room 20, and I'll just...

Oh, hi, Elton. Lenny! I've got it!

We need to record a pop video in aid of the Save the Hotel Trubble Fund.

Oh, brilliant idea! I've always fancied being in a pop video!

But who can we get to record the song for us? Really we need someone

who is brilliantly talented and world famous.

Where are we going to find a person like that

in a place like this? Anyway, Mr John,

I must warn you, the heating's packed in, there's no hot water

and the toilet's broke. But please enjoy your stay!

You're right, Lenny,

we're never going to get anyone famous staying here.

We're gonna have to take matters into our own hands!

-Do you mean?

-Yes, we need to write the pop song ourselves!

So help us now in our quest Help us now in our quest.

Treasure, chest!

-Treasure chest!

-Ah! Pink vest!

No, no, no, treasure chest, then we can go on a treasure hunt!

-Like a treasure hunt.

-And we can go out, and I can buy

loads of pink vests for us. And then I can, like, customise them,

-and put sequins on and...

-The song!

-The song.

So help us now, in our quest

-we'll work together...

-..And wear pink vests!

-And treasure chest!

-Lenny, you're drawing a cat!

-RAPS:

-Here I go, ah, ah, ah here I go

I'm gonna, I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna go

I'm gonna spit it I'm gonna spit my lyrics.

-1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.

-# Aaahh. #

-I can't work like this!

RAPS: 25 drawers in this room 25 rooms in this hotel

-25 drawers.

-Yes.

High five! Woo!

I've got it!

# So help us now in our quest

# We'll work together and do our best

# We know this order is rather tall

# But we need to save our dreams from the wrecking ball

# This situation has burst our bubble

# We find ourselves in such deep trouble

# We're low on words that rhyme so we made up "flubble"

# We don't want to have a pile of rubble

# So please help us save Hotel Trubble

# This situation has burst our bubble

# We find ourselves in such deep trouble

# We're low on words that rhyme so we made up "flubble"

# We don't want to have a pile of rubble

# So please help us save Hotel Trubble

# This situation has burst our bubble

# We find ourselves in such deep trouble

# We're low on words that rhyme so we made up "flubble"

# No we don't want to have a pile of rubble

# So please help us save

# Help us save

# Yes help us save

# Hotel Trubble. #

'Up next, Rihanna with her hit single, Don't Stop the Music.'

-Why is it taking so long?

-I don't know, Lenny should be there by now

and the tape should be playing out.

I'll give him a call.

-Hello?

-Lenny, it's Jamie.

-Why isn't the video on the telly yet?

-Oh, Jamie, brilliant.

I was just about to give you a call. I think I might be a little bit lost.

I followed the map you gave me,

and I should be at the TV station now, but I can't see it!

-Well, what can you see?

-Er... Ooh,

-a cafe, and a lifeguard, a couple of people swimming.

-Lenny,

are you standing in a swimming pool?

Yeah, yeah I am!

Then you're holding the map upside down!

Oh, so I am! Thanks, Jamie!

You've still got the tape haven't you? That's the only copy we've got!

Don't you worry about that!

I've still got the tape nice and safe in my pocket.

Lenny? Lenny?

Is the tape ruined?

Yeah... Yeah, it is.

No!

-What's happened?

-The tape's ruined!

BOTH: No!

CLOCK CHIMES

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a public announcement! Get on this!

Would you all please leave the hotel immediately,

in a calm and peaceful manner. Nice and slow, don't run love!

Ladies and gents, could you please get out now,

as a huge wrecking ball is about to smash through the building!

What are you doing?

Mr Wreck, please don't demolish our hotel.

-I'm sorry, it's too late.

-No, no, it's never too late.

Listen up everyone, listen!

People of Hotel Trubble, do not run and hide!

We must stand together and fight!

This hotel is a place where people come from all over the world!

A place where children play happily in the games room.

But only until 7pm!

-Only until 7pm.

-And as long as they're accompanied by an adult!

and as long as they're accom... Yes, thank you, Sally.

Look, the point I'm making here, is that... This hotel is our world

and it's our life!

So, you might take our Hotel, but you'll never take our freedom!

OK...

Demolition will start in 60 seconds.

-Mr Ball!

-I'm all over it.

No!

Can you get off my leg, please? It's really annoying.

-Jamie, can I have a word please?

-Not now, Mrs P! I'm sorry,

this hotel is about to be smashed to the floor!

But that's what I want to talk to you about!

Because you probably want to complain about it!

Well, soon there won't be anything for you to complain about,

cos there'll be nothing left!

Nothing, I tell you!

But there will be, if only you'll let me speak!

Right, Mrs P. One last complaint for old time's sake.

But I haven't got a complaint!

I wanted to tell you that the demolition is wrong.

I know its wrong, I feel your pain, Mrs P. I think it's wrong too.

No, literally wrong!

Read the demolition notice!

They're supposed to be demolishing the building next door!

Mrs P, you're right!

I love you and I'm going to give you a big kiss.

-Really?

-No.

Oh, well, please yourself. See if I care.

-Ah, Jamie, time to leave, my friend.

-Yeah,

but could you just read that demolition notice one last time?

Yeah, I'll do it, love to, mate.

Here goes, listen up. You might learn summit.

"I hereby give the final notice of the intended demolition,

"of the building situated at 52A Lancaster Street."

Yeah, say that address again?

-I will say it again, make sure you listen, son.

-OK.

-"52A Lancaster Street."

-Yeah,

-that's next door.

-Ha, ha, ha.

-What?!

-That's next door! It's an old disused warehouse.

We're 52B Lancaster Street, not 52A.

What? Let me have a look at that.

Yep, that's, that's... Ha, ha, ha!

It does appear that we, well, Mr Ball here, has made a slight mistake.

-Oh, great, I thought it might be me.

-It's his fault.

-So, the Hotel's not getting demolished!

-Um. No.

Great, we're saved! The hotel's been saved!

All right, there's no need to get over-excited!

This place is still an old rancid flea pit, and one day,

we will come back and we will demolish it! One day!

Really sorry about the confusion, have a nice day!

Mr Ball, we're leaving!

Bagsy driving.

What's going on, Jamie?

The demolition's been called off! We're saved!

They were supposed to be demolishing next door, not us.

Oh, so my dad was right after all.

What? What do you mean?

Well, you know my dad works for the Council, right?

No. I didn't know that, but carry on.

Well, when all this demolition nonsense started earlier,

I gave him a ring to see if there was anything he could do.

He checked the Council notices and he said,

there was no order to demolish our hotel at all!

But, wait for it...

there was one to demolish that old warehouse next door!

-Really?

-Yeah. Anyway,

he said that stupid old Mr Wreck had probably got the address wrong

-and that we had nothing to worry about!

-Really?

-Yeah.

Oh, we both had a really good laugh about it!

And you didn't think it was worth bringing this to my attention?

There wasn't much time,

what with running round trying to find ways to raise money

-to stop the...

-To stop the what, Lenny?

The demolition.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

So, if I'd told you earlier, we wouldn't have had to...

Shall I start running now?

Yeah, if you would please, yeah.

-Sally.

-What?

-I'm going to be out for an hour or so,

-so will you take any calls?

-Where will you be?

Er, chasing Lenny around the car park. Lenny!

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Hotel Trubble.

GARBLED SPEECH ON PHONE

# Hotel Trubble forever

# It's the pits and we know it we're stuck but we love it... #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]