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Welcome to Hotel Trubble. Meet Sally, our receptionist.
People, trying to have a conversation here!
And this is Lenny. He's a man of many talents.
This is Dolly, she's Mr Trubble's, ahem, fiance.
And this is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.
Which just leaves me Jamie, I'm the bellboy.
# Hotel Trubble forever
# It's the pits and we know it
# We're stuck but we love it
# Hotel Trubble forever
# We're a team staying calm Arm in arm
# So the hotel survives
# Trubble, Trubble
# Keep the hotel alive. #
Oh, Lenny, that was so good!
I know, even after the 32nd time it was still AMAZING!
I didn't even realise we'd seen it that many times.
Steve Actor is the one to watch
in Outer Space Space Aliens
From Outer Space.
With Steve Actor doing his ACTING!
So moving, classy, sophisticated...
Oh, Sally! Guess where we've been?
I know where, the cinema.
-No, no, no! Go on, guess!
-No! The cinema!
You'll have to excuse Lenny, Sally,
he's just seen the best film EVER for the 32nd time!
-What film is that, then?
-Outer Space Space Aliens From Outer Space!
Not that stupid LOSER science fiction film about boring loser aliens
that only GEEKY losers would ever want to see?
You geeky loser!
Go and see a gooder film next time.
-We've just been...
-Didn't you see that film?
-Me? No, no, I didn't see it.
Shhh, Lenny! Sally's talking.
So, what did you see?
Er, I just, I went to see another film.
It was much more powerful and thought-provoking.
Well, it says here that
the only other film being shown in the cinema is,
"Fluffy Bunny Two: Fluffy Gets Fluffier"?
That what you went to see?
If you loved Fluffy Bunny,
then you're going to love Fluffy Bunny Two
and all his FLUFFY friends!
Yep. I went, I went to see that.
Ugh! You're both just as weird as each other!
Dolly said not to forget the staff meeting.
-She's revealing her idea for the Special Event Weekend.
I hate those weekends!
Mr Trubble always goes with her ideas and they end up being rubbish!
Remember the Relaxing Spa Weekend?
What was relaxing about that?
Get filing, Jamie, and then see to my corns!
Oh...I have seen some horrors!
Next item on the agenda is the special event weekend.
Anyone got any ideas?
-I'm assuming ideas we come up with will be ignored?
Unless there are any objections, I think...
-Ooh, it's Mr Trubble! Shh.
Hi, Trubbly wubbly!
-I'm just about to tell everybody my great idea...
Yes, I see, right. Of course, my darling schnooky-lumps!
Yes, I'll tell 'em!
No, you hang up! You hang up! Y...
Oh, he, er, hung up.
-Something wrong, Dolly?
-No! Not all at all.
My darling Mr Trubble thinks,
although my idea's are always the best,
that one of you should choose the theme for the Special Event Weekend.
Wonderful! I've had an idea...
-Not you, Antiques Roadshow!
Jamie, Sally and Lenny,
he wants one of you to come up with the idea to attract a young,
cool audience, which apparently I don't know ANYTHING about!
So, come on then, seeing as you're always moaning about my ideas,
let's hear yours!
Nothing? OK, I'll call back Mr Trubble
and tell him we're going ahead with my Relaxing Spa idea.
No, wait! Erm, Lenny, you had that idea earlier, remember?
Oh, yes! I said I reckon if I practised really, really hard,
I might just be able to lick my own eyeballs!
No, not that one, the other one! What was it?
Something about the film? With aliens in it?
Oh, not Outer Space Space Aliens From Space?
I forget the title if I'm honest, I think that's the gist.
Outer Space Space Aliens From Space!
We could do a whole weekend based on Sci-Fi films like that!
-It would be brilliant!
-It would be AWFUL!
This place would be overrun with sweaty nerds
dressed in ridiculous outfits!
Rubbish! What do you think, Dolly?
I...actually think it's a FANTASTIC idea!
For Lenny, I mean, be great for Lenny
-cos it's what HE really wants, you know.
-Yes! That's settled then.
You lot organise the, er, Science-Fiction Space Aliens weekend
and I'll report back to Mr T the news what great job you're doing!
Oh, yes! Thanks, Dolly, you won't regret this!
Oh, Space aliens!...
Ah, look at that sci-fi sausage go!
Ah! Oh, well, this is going to be REALLY boring,
but I guess I'll just have to help Lenny, so...
It's going to be so BORING isn't it?
you seem unusually enthusiastic about this alien nonsense.
-Oh, yes, wonderful idea!
Well, I can't believe you've agreed to it!
I don't like the thought of aliens. Not since...
Look, Mrs P, we both know it's a terrible idea.
In fact, it's SO bad, the whole weekend will be a complete disaster!
And...soon Mr Trubble will realise his mistake
and revert all decisions back to yours truly!
What ARE you staring at?!
A few days later in a hotel far, far away...
Well, actually, Hotel Trubble, which isn't that far at all.
She looks like the beautiful alien Princess Aurora
-from Outer Space Space Aliens.
-That's the one.
For someone who didn't see that film, you seem to know a lot about it!
Yeah, well, er... Lenny told me all I need to know!
And, erm, he once gave me some of the action figures...
which I didn't keep unopened in the packaging
and definitely did throw away and not put out on display in my room!
Right, we're going to re-enact the famous scene
-from Outer Space Space Aliens From Space!
-The bit where the stranded aliens try to contact the Mother Ship!
-I'm just going to turn on my communications portal.
Sorry about that!
OK, let's perform the Planetary Dance of the Wahahoohoo Galaxy!
JAUNTY SIXTIES MUSIC
-I've never seen so many losers in my whole entire life! Ridiculous!
Were you just doing the dance?
Seriously, this is starting to freak me out a bit!
You're right to be freaked out, Sally. Aliens are not to be trusted!
I should know!
Why's that, Mrs P?
Well, I've never told anyone this but...
Many years ago, I was captured by aliens
and beamed aboard their spaceship.
They wanted to make me their alien queen,
but somehow I managed to escape!
And from that day to this, I have never forgotten them.
Neither has Sirius!
He's scared stiff at the sight of aliens. Look!
-That's great to get into character, but could you tone it down?
Don't believe us then! Come along, Sirius.
We know the truth don't we? Yes.
Alien Chancellor, hear my cry!
Beam down your warriors through the portal in the sky!
Oh, that could be the aliens coming now.
Settle down everyone, nice work.
I'll see you later for the costume competition.
Er, nice. High-five!
Yes, nice costume, yes! Nice!
Woo-hoo! Outer space aliens!
'Ello mate! 'Ow's it going? Ack!
-Hello, I'm from Planet Splurg!
Allo? Je viens du le Planet Splurg!
That's more like it! Perhaps with a dash more...
-Yes, that's the one.
Citizens of Planet Splurg.
This pitiful planet is as disgusting as I remember it!
But, there is a concentrated amount of precious power minerals
stored in this location.
I shall take hold of it swiftly, and return!
HE CACKLES EVILLY
RHYTHMIC ELECTRONIC THROBBING
Hmm! Clearly the human race has evolved since I was last here.
I must proceed with caution!
Hello, welcome to Hotel Trubble. Can I take your name, please?
Yes, feeble human. My name is...
What's your first name?
Oh, erm, Evil.
So you're telling me that your name is actually Evil Destructor?
Yes, that's right.
No, sorry, I don't have a booking under "Evil Destructor".
Mm. Sometimes I go by the name, "The" Evil Destructor.
So if you try looking under "T" for "The"?
HE CROAKS AND CLICKS
No! No room booked under The Evil Destructor".
Pah! I don't care! I don't want a room anyway!
What do you want then?
What do I want?
-I want to locate the precious power minerals
our ailing mother ship needs so dearly.
When I have beamed them aboard my space craft,
we will become the most powerful species in the universe
and I will destroy every planet that gets in my way!
You quite finished?
Huuuh! Yes, thanks.
Right, I can do you a single room with breakfast,
but you'll have to pay the late booking rate.
No, no, no! Once the mother ship is recharged,
it is YOU that will pay!
You and the entire human race will pay!
Huh-huh-huh, ah-ah-ah, uh. Huuuh!
I don't know what stupid scene you're acting out from some geeky film,
but if you want to stay, you have to book a room!
So, yes or no?!
D'you want a room?
That's better! LENNY!
Can you take "The Evil Destructor" to room 10, please?
Wow! You've even changed your name to an alien one.
Massive respect to you, sir. Let me take your bags.
No, this is mine!
No, don't be silly, I don't mind. Woah!
What have you got in here? A huge interstellar space weapon?!
Ha-ha! Yeah, good one.
Right, let me show you to your room. Just this way...
I hope you haven't taken on too much. I'd hate to have to
tell Mr Trubble you couldn't handle the responsibility.
Not at all. We've got some exciting stuff planned.
There's a costume competition and an autograph signing,
with Steve Actor.
You've booked Steve Actor, the Hollywood superstar,
to come here? That must have been very expensive!
Well, it was a little pricey,
and there was quite lot of things he asked for, but...
But you know what?
It'll be well worth it.
Now, where can I find a singing penguin?
Good luck, Jamie! I hope it all goes according to plan.
OK then, Mr Evil Destructor, this is your room.
As you can see we've got all the usual mod cons, like the bed.
You've even got a window, and a bin, for all your rubbish.
Assassins lurk behind every door for me,
but I will not be destroyed!
Let that be a warning to you, human.
Just, the bathroom's just through there.
Er, for washing and things.
This guy is brilliant!
Excellent foot cleaner!
It's not a foot cleaner. I made that mistake before,
it's for sitting down and doing a...
Please be gone, human! I must be left alone with my work!
OK, I'll leave you to it, then.
Thanks for that.
Couldn't be that easy!
Mother Ship, come in Mother Ship! GROWL
I've located one unit of the special power minerals.
There must be more hidden in the fortress!
When my search is successful, I will beam back aboard
and once again, we become the most powerful species in the universe!
GEORDIE ACCENT Oh no! This thing's playin' up again!
WELSH ACCENT Why does it always do this?
-Yes, yes, I know!
I realise, Mr Steve Actor, that promises were made,
but we simply won't be able to find you that singing penguin.
Yeah, I'm afraid it's a "no" to the trio of dancing tortoises, too!
Yes, well, no.
I'm afraid that we simply can't provide
a bath full of jelly beans with all the green ones taken out.
Well, if you feel that way, Mr Steve Actor,
then maybe you shouldn't turn up at all!
-LINE GOES DEAD
Oh, dear! He's hung up!
SHE CACKLES GLEEFULLY
Why am I still speaking in this voice?
Dolly, have you had a call from Steve Actor?
-He was going to tell me when he was arriving.
-No, no. Everything all right, Jamie?
Yeah, fine, fine! Ah, I guess I'm just a bit nervous.
-Steve Actor is such a big hero of...
I've just had Steve Actor's agent barking at me.
He wants to make sure you're paying the full fee today.
-Even though Steve's not coming any more.
What do you mean, he's not coming?
Something about going back on your promises
and they're off to get the first flight back to LA.
But, I didn't! Just let me give him a call.
I wouldn't, if I was you. He was livid.
Oh, dear, Jamie!
Looks like you've got a problem here.
You're going to have a lot of disappointed guests.
No! Wait, um, I'll make up for it! I have a back-up plan.
-What's your back-up plan?
-To try and think of a back-up plan.
SHE HUMS ABSENT-MINDEDLY
And you wait there.
I just need to service these rooms.
No! Stay! Sta-ay!
SHE CONTINUES HUMMING
Why don't these humans ever listen?
All I want is the...
SIRIUS MEOWS IN ALARM
WHIRRING AND BLEEPING
SHE CONTINUES HUMMING
Huh? Sirius! What happened?
-And when I came back, my trolley was gone.
And the mini-soaps, too.
Even weirder! How many bars of soap are we talking about?
Who would steal 5,000 bars of soap?
Somebody very smelly.
Let's search the hotel, room by room!
Right let's go.
-That's my arm!
Well, my arm hurt more!
Ah, Sally, did you find anything?
Lenny? Any sign of the 5,000 bars of soap?
-No, I'm afraid not.
I only found 4,999.
Yeah, in here.
I know. Still, the search goes on, eh?
No, Lenny! This is what we're looking for!
Whoever has this room is our soap thief.
So who is it?
It is I, The Evil Destructor!
Actually, I wouldn't go in there for a bit, I just...
Ah! I see you've found my precious power minerals.
Firstly, they're ours, not yours.
OK? Secondly, they're bars of soap!
Pah! How little you know, human!
To you, these might just be blocks of cleaning paste,
but to a Splurgian warrior, they're much, much, more.
All right mate, this has gone a bit too far.
You're just a silly man in a plastic costume, with probably no friends
and no chance of ever getting a girlfriend!
You're not an alien from the Planet "Splurg".
He is an alien from the Planet Splurg!
That's right! And I do have a girlfriend, actually.
Her name's Villainous Obliterator, and we're very happy.
Now! Prepare to meet my shrink ray, hideous humans!
And this time, I won't miss.
You can run...but you can't hide!
Sorry, do you mind if I take this?
Only, it will look great in my new High School Musical doll's house.
Oh, yeah. Aaargh!
THEY SCREAM IN TERROR
OK, you lot, what's going on?
Nothing! Everything's great!
Dismal dwellers of Planet Earth!
I have succeeded in my mission
to locate enough power minerals from your pitiful planet.
I can now voyage in my recharged Mother Ship to the Planet Splurg!
-I'll assemble a Splurgian army...
No, not now, no!
-There I will assemble...
There, that's it. Sorry, I'll start again.
There, I will assemble a Splurgian army
and I will return to conquer this puny planet of weaklings!
Nothing will stop me now. Nothing!
Mwah-ha-ha-ha! Uh, uh, ooh, urgh!
Evil Destructor? Is that you?
No! Mrs Poshington?
It can't be!
You've got a nerve,
coming back here after what you did.
Er, Mrs P, what's going on?
That's the Evil Destructor.
That alien I told you about.
Him and his friends from the Planet Splodge.
Anyway, years ago, they captured me and took me up in this spaceship.
They wanted to make me their Alien Queen, but I escaped!
Escaped?! We let you go, you stupid woman!
-You were so annoying!
With your endless stories and your ridiculous, fussy cat!
-Careful, Mrs P!
Yes, stay back, you crazy woman! Argh! No!
PUNCHING AND YELLING
Argh! No! My precious power minerals!
So, it was you who took all my mini-soaps?
Right. That does it!
Emergency! Mother Ship!
Beam me up and take us as far away as from here as possible!
Very clever, Jamie!
I've got to hand it to you.
That was quite some special effects display!
Er, oh, oh! Yeah!
Yes, Dolly, told you my back-up plan would work, didn't I?
Ah, those special effects took ages to set up.
What with all the, the setting up. And them being all special,
They weren't special effects! That was...
Mrs P, haven't you got some soaps to be picking up? Thank you!
Jamie. I'm going to tell Mr Trubble
-what a great job we've all done this weekend!
Yeah, you won't mind if I tell him it was a team effort, will you?
You've really surprised me, Jamie!
-I didn't realise you could handle something like this!
don't worry about me, Dolly! I can handle anything!
See you at the cinema, Jamie! Outer Space Space Aliens From Space,
33 times in a row, baby! Don't be late!
I'll be there, mate! Can't wait!
Oh, hi there, Sal!
Oh. Did you just hear that?
Probably sounded like I was going with Lenny
to see that ridiculous film, but I'm not.
So why did you say "Can't wait, mate! See you there!"
Why did I say that?
I said, "I'll be there"
because I meant, I'll be there! Meaning...
..Over there! Behind reception.
And nowhere near the cinema.
OK, OK, I'm sorry, I have to say this.
I love Outer Space Space Aliens From Space!
And if you think I'm a geek because of that, then that's fine.
That's just who I am!
Just who I am.
S'all right, Jamie. I guess this sci-fi stuff isn't that bad.
After all, I got to meet a real space alien, and that's pretty cool!
Yeah, yeah! Pretty cool!
So, er, you can count me in for tonight!
You mean, you're going to come to the cinema with me?
PHONE RINGS I mean, with us? I mean, er, great!
For Lenny. It's great, for Lenny.
-I would like you to...
-Hello, Hotel Trubble?
# Hotel Trubble forever
# It's the pits and we know it's duff, but we love it
# Hotel Trubble forever
# We're a team staying calm, on and on
-# So the hotel survives.
-# Trubble, Trubble
# Keep the hotel alive. #
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd