An Unconventional Convention Hotel Trubble


An Unconventional Convention

Children's sitcom. When the hotel hosts a sci-fi convention, the arrival of sci-fi nerds results in the staff missing the arrival of a real alien.


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Transcript


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Welcome to Hotel Trubble. Meet Sally, our receptionist.

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People, trying to have a conversation here!

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And this is Lenny. He's a man of many talents.

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This is Dolly, she's Mr Trubble's, ahem, fiance.

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And this is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.

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Which just leaves me Jamie, I'm the bellboy.

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# Hotel Trubble forever

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# It's the pits and we know it

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# We're stuck but we love it

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# Hotel Trubble forever

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# We're a team staying calm Arm in arm

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# So the hotel survives

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# Trubble, Trubble

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# Keep the hotel alive. #

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Oh, Lenny, that was so good!

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I know, even after the 32nd time it was still AMAZING!

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I didn't even realise we'd seen it that many times.

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Steve Actor is the one to watch

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in Outer Space Space Aliens

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From Outer Space.

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With Steve Actor doing his ACTING!

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So moving, classy, sophisticated...

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Oh, Sally! Guess where we've been?

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I know where, the cinema.

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-No, no, no! Go on, guess!

-The cinema?

-No! The cinema!

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You'll have to excuse Lenny, Sally,

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he's just seen the best film EVER for the 32nd time!

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-What film is that, then?

-Outer Space Space Aliens From Outer Space!

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Not that stupid LOSER science fiction film about boring loser aliens

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that only GEEKY losers would ever want to see?

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Erm...yeah!

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You geeky loser!

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Go and see a gooder film next time.

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-We've just been...

-Didn't you see that film?

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-Me? No, no, I didn't see it.

-Jamie?!

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Shhh, Lenny! Sally's talking.

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So, what did you see?

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Er, I just, I went to see another film.

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It was much more powerful and thought-provoking.

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Well, it says here that

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the only other film being shown in the cinema is,

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"Fluffy Bunny Two: Fluffy Gets Fluffier"?

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That what you went to see?

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If you loved Fluffy Bunny,

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then you're going to love Fluffy Bunny Two

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and all his FLUFFY friends!

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Yep. I went, I went to see that.

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Ugh! You're both just as weird as each other!

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Thanks, Sally!

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Dolly said not to forget the staff meeting.

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-She's revealing her idea for the Special Event Weekend.

-Oh!

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I hate those weekends!

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Mr Trubble always goes with her ideas and they end up being rubbish!

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Remember the Relaxing Spa Weekend?

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What was relaxing about that?

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Get filing, Jamie, and then see to my corns!

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Oh...I have seen some horrors!

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Next item on the agenda is the special event weekend.

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Anyone got any ideas?

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-I'm assuming ideas we come up with will be ignored?

-Correct.

-Then, no.

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Unless there are any objections, I think...

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-PHONE RINGING

-Ooh, it's Mr Trubble! Shh.

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Hi, Trubbly wubbly!

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-I'm just about to tell everybody my great idea...

-ANGRY SHOUTING

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Yes, I see, right. Of course, my darling schnooky-lumps!

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Yes, I'll tell 'em!

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No, you hang up! You hang up! Y...

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Oh, he, er, hung up.

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-Something wrong, Dolly?

-No! Not all at all.

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My darling Mr Trubble thinks,

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although my idea's are always the best,

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that one of you should choose the theme for the Special Event Weekend.

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Wonderful! I've had an idea...

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-Not you, Antiques Roadshow!

-How rude!

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Jamie, Sally and Lenny,

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he wants one of you to come up with the idea to attract a young,

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cool audience, which apparently I don't know ANYTHING about!

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So, come on then, seeing as you're always moaning about my ideas,

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let's hear yours!

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Nothing? OK, I'll call back Mr Trubble

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and tell him we're going ahead with my Relaxing Spa idea.

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No, wait! Erm, Lenny, you had that idea earlier, remember?

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-Did I?

-(Yes.)

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Oh, yes! I said I reckon if I practised really, really hard,

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I might just be able to lick my own eyeballs!

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No, not that one, the other one! What was it?

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Something about the film? With aliens in it?

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Oh, not Outer Space Space Aliens From Space?

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I forget the title if I'm honest, I think that's the gist.

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Outer Space Space Aliens From Space!

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We could do a whole weekend based on Sci-Fi films like that!

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-It would be brilliant!

-It would be AWFUL!

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This place would be overrun with sweaty nerds

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dressed in ridiculous outfits!

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Rubbish! What do you think, Dolly?

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I...actually think it's a FANTASTIC idea!

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Yeah?!

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GREAT!

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For Lenny, I mean, be great for Lenny

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-cos it's what HE really wants, you know.

-Yes! That's settled then.

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You lot organise the, er, Science-Fiction Space Aliens weekend

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and I'll report back to Mr T the news what great job you're doing!

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Oh, yes! Thanks, Dolly, you won't regret this!

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Oh, Space aliens!...

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Ah, look at that sci-fi sausage go!

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Ah! Oh, well, this is going to be REALLY boring,

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but I guess I'll just have to help Lenny, so...

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It's going to be so BORING isn't it?

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Er, Dolly,

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you seem unusually enthusiastic about this alien nonsense.

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-Oh, yes, wonderful idea!

-SHE TINGS

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Well, I can't believe you've agreed to it!

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I don't like the thought of aliens. Not since...

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EERIE MUSIC

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Look, Mrs P, we both know it's a terrible idea.

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In fact, it's SO bad, the whole weekend will be a complete disaster!

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And...soon Mr Trubble will realise his mistake

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and revert all decisions back to yours truly!

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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa!

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What ARE you staring at?!

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A few days later in a hotel far, far away...

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Well, actually, Hotel Trubble, which isn't that far at all.

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Wow!

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She looks like the beautiful alien Princess Aurora

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-from Outer Space Space Aliens.

-From space?

-That's the one.

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For someone who didn't see that film, you seem to know a lot about it!

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Yeah, well, er... Lenny told me all I need to know!

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And, erm, he once gave me some of the action figures...

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which I didn't keep unopened in the packaging

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and definitely did throw away and not put out on display in my room!

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Right, we're going to re-enact the famous scene

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-from Outer Space Space Aliens From Space!

-THEY LAUGH

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-The bit where the stranded aliens try to contact the Mother Ship!

-THEY LAUGH

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-I'm just going to turn on my communications portal.

-SCREECHING

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Sorry about that!

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OK, let's perform the Planetary Dance of the Wahahoohoo Galaxy!

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-THEY CHEER

-Yeah!

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JAUNTY SIXTIES MUSIC

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-I've never seen so many losers in my whole entire life! Ridiculous!

-Geeks!

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Were you just doing the dance?

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Seriously, this is starting to freak me out a bit!

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You're right to be freaked out, Sally. Aliens are not to be trusted!

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I should know!

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Why's that, Mrs P?

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Well, I've never told anyone this but...

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Many years ago, I was captured by aliens

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and beamed aboard their spaceship.

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They wanted to make me their alien queen,

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but somehow I managed to escape!

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And from that day to this, I have never forgotten them.

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Neither has Sirius!

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He's scared stiff at the sight of aliens. Look!

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MEOWING

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-That's great to get into character, but could you tone it down?

-Fine!

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Don't believe us then! Come along, Sirius.

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We know the truth don't we? Yes.

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EERIE MUSIC

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Alien Chancellor, hear my cry!

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Beam down your warriors through the portal in the sky!

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Oh, that could be the aliens coming now.

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Settle down everyone, nice work.

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I'll see you later for the costume competition.

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Er, nice. High-five!

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Yes, nice costume, yes! Nice!

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Woo-hoo! Outer space aliens!

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ELECTRONIC BOOM

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ELECTRONIC INTERFERENCE

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'Ello mate! 'Ow's it going? Ack!

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MICROPHONE INTERFERENCE

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-POLITELY:

-Hello, I'm from Planet Splurg!

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Nah! Ah!

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Allo? Je viens du le Planet Splurg!

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-Nah!

-MICROPHONE INTERFERENCE

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-POSH ACCENT:

-Hello there!

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That's more like it! Perhaps with a dash more...

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Evil!

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-SINISTER VOICE:

-Yes, that's the one.

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Citizens of Planet Splurg.

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This pitiful planet is as disgusting as I remember it!

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But, there is a concentrated amount of precious power minerals

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stored in this location.

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I shall take hold of it swiftly, and return!

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HE CACKLES EVILLY

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RHYTHMIC ELECTRONIC THROBBING

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Hmm! Clearly the human race has evolved since I was last here.

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I must proceed with caution!

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Hello, welcome to Hotel Trubble. Can I take your name, please?

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QUACKING NOISE

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Yes, feeble human. My name is...

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Destructor!

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THUNDERCLAP

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What's your first name?

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Oh, erm, Evil.

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So you're telling me that your name is actually Evil Destructor?

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Yes, that's right.

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CLICKING

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No, sorry, I don't have a booking under "Evil Destructor".

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Mm. Sometimes I go by the name, "The" Evil Destructor.

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So if you try looking under "T" for "The"?

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HE CROAKS AND CLICKS

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No! No room booked under The Evil Destructor".

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Pah! I don't care! I don't want a room anyway!

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What do you want then?

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What do I want?

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-THUNDERCLAP

-I want to locate the precious power minerals

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our ailing mother ship needs so dearly.

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When I have beamed them aboard my space craft,

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we will become the most powerful species in the universe

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and I will destroy every planet that gets in my way!

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Huh-huh-huh-huh. Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

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Huh-huh-huh-huh.

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Hee-hee-hee-huuh!

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You quite finished?

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Huuh!

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One more.

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Huuuh! Yes, thanks.

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Right, I can do you a single room with breakfast,

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but you'll have to pay the late booking rate.

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Pay?

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Me? Pay?

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No, no, no! Once the mother ship is recharged,

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it is YOU that will pay!

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You and the entire human race will pay!

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Huh-huh-huh, ah-ah-ah, uh. Huuuh!

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Listen, mate?

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I don't know what stupid scene you're acting out from some geeky film,

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but if you want to stay, you have to book a room!

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So, yes or no?!

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D'you want a room?

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Yes.

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Yes what?

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Yes, please.

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That's better! LENNY!

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Can you take "The Evil Destructor" to room 10, please?

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Wow! You've even changed your name to an alien one.

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Massive respect to you, sir. Let me take your bags.

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No, this is mine!

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No, don't be silly, I don't mind. Woah!

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Whoa!

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What have you got in here? A huge interstellar space weapon?!

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Yes?

0:14:370:14:38

Ha-ha! Yeah, good one.

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Right, let me show you to your room. Just this way...

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I hope you haven't taken on too much. I'd hate to have to

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tell Mr Trubble you couldn't handle the responsibility.

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Not at all. We've got some exciting stuff planned.

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There's a costume competition and an autograph signing,

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with Steve Actor.

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-What?

-TILL RINGS

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You've booked Steve Actor, the Hollywood superstar,

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to come here? That must have been very expensive!

0:15:090:15:12

Well, it was a little pricey,

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and there was quite lot of things he asked for, but...

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But you know what?

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It'll be well worth it.

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Now, where can I find a singing penguin?

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Good luck, Jamie! I hope it all goes according to plan.

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OK then, Mr Evil Destructor, this is your room.

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As you can see we've got all the usual mod cons, like the bed.

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You've even got a window, and a bin, for all your rubbish.

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Assassins lurk behind every door for me,

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but I will not be destroyed!

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Let that be a warning to you, human.

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OK!

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Just, the bathroom's just through there.

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Er, for washing and things.

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This guy is brilliant!

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Oh!

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Ah!

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Excellent foot cleaner!

0:16:280:16:30

It's not a foot cleaner. I made that mistake before,

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it's for sitting down and doing a...

0:16:340:16:36

Please be gone, human! I must be left alone with my work!

0:16:360:16:40

OK, I'll leave you to it, then.

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Thanks for that.

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HE SNIFFS

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No!

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Couldn't be that easy!

0:16:560:16:58

It is!

0:17:030:17:05

Mother Ship, come in Mother Ship! GROWL

0:17:080:17:11

I've located one unit of the special power minerals.

0:17:110:17:15

There must be more hidden in the fortress!

0:17:150:17:18

When my search is successful, I will beam back aboard

0:17:180:17:21

and once again, we become the most powerful species in the universe!

0:17:210:17:26

Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

0:17:260:17:28

Ooh-ho...

0:17:280:17:30

GEORDIE ACCENT Oh no! This thing's playin' up again!

0:17:300:17:34

WELSH ACCENT Why does it always do this?

0:17:340:17:36

-NASAL VOICE

-Yes, yes, I know!

0:17:380:17:40

I realise, Mr Steve Actor, that promises were made,

0:17:410:17:45

but we simply won't be able to find you that singing penguin.

0:17:450:17:49

Yeah, I'm afraid it's a "no" to the trio of dancing tortoises, too!

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Yes, well, no.

0:17:550:17:57

I'm afraid that we simply can't provide

0:17:570:18:00

a bath full of jelly beans with all the green ones taken out.

0:18:000:18:03

Well, if you feel that way, Mr Steve Actor,

0:18:030:18:07

then maybe you shouldn't turn up at all!

0:18:070:18:10

-LINE GOES DEAD

-Hello? Hello?

0:18:100:18:13

Oh, dear! He's hung up!

0:18:150:18:17

SHE CACKLES GLEEFULLY

0:18:170:18:19

Why am I still speaking in this voice?

0:18:190:18:22

Dolly, have you had a call from Steve Actor?

0:18:220:18:25

-He was going to tell me when he was arriving.

-Erm, no.

0:18:250:18:29

-NORMAL VOICE

-No, no. Everything all right, Jamie?

0:18:290:18:32

Yeah, fine, fine! Ah, I guess I'm just a bit nervous.

0:18:320:18:37

-Steve Actor is such a big hero of...

-Jamie!

-..Lenny's.

0:18:370:18:40

I've just had Steve Actor's agent barking at me.

0:18:420:18:45

He wants to make sure you're paying the full fee today.

0:18:450:18:48

-Of course!

-Even though Steve's not coming any more.

-Yep! What?

0:18:480:18:54

What do you mean, he's not coming?

0:18:540:18:56

Something about going back on your promises

0:18:560:18:59

and they're off to get the first flight back to LA.

0:18:590:19:02

But, I didn't! Just let me give him a call.

0:19:020:19:06

I wouldn't, if I was you. He was livid.

0:19:060:19:09

Oh, dear, Jamie!

0:19:090:19:11

Looks like you've got a problem here.

0:19:110:19:13

You're going to have a lot of disappointed guests.

0:19:130:19:17

No! Wait, um, I'll make up for it! I have a back-up plan.

0:19:170:19:21

-What's your back-up plan?

-To try and think of a back-up plan.

0:19:210:19:26

SHE HUMS ABSENT-MINDEDLY

0:19:270:19:29

Sirius, si-it!

0:19:300:19:32

And you wait there.

0:19:330:19:35

I just need to service these rooms.

0:19:350:19:37

No! Stay! Sta-ay!

0:19:370:19:40

Good boy!

0:19:400:19:42

SHE CONTINUES HUMMING

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SIRIUS MEOWS

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Why don't these humans ever listen?

0:19:470:19:50

All I want is the...

0:19:500:19:52

SIRIUS MEOWS IN ALARM

0:19:520:19:54

WHIRRING AND BLEEPING

0:19:540:19:56

HIGH-PITCHED MIAOW

0:19:570:19:59

SHE CONTINUES HUMMING

0:20:030:20:05

Huh? Sirius! What happened?

0:20:070:20:11

FORLORN MIAOW

0:20:110:20:13

-And when I came back, my trolley was gone.

-Weird!

0:20:130:20:17

And the mini-soaps, too.

0:20:170:20:19

Even weirder! How many bars of soap are we talking about?

0:20:190:20:23

About 5,000.

0:20:230:20:24

Who would steal 5,000 bars of soap?

0:20:240:20:26

Somebody very smelly.

0:20:260:20:28

Let's search the hotel, room by room!

0:20:280:20:31

Right let's go.

0:20:310:20:32

-Ow!

-That's my arm!

-My arm!

0:20:320:20:35

Well, my arm hurt more!

0:20:350:20:38

Ah, Sally, did you find anything?

0:20:410:20:44

Nothing!

0:20:440:20:45

Me neither.

0:20:450:20:47

Lenny? Any sign of the 5,000 bars of soap?

0:20:470:20:50

-No, I'm afraid not.

-Mmm!

0:20:500:20:52

I only found 4,999.

0:20:520:20:55

What?

0:20:550:20:56

Yeah, in here.

0:20:560:20:58

Woah!

0:21:030:21:05

I know. Still, the search goes on, eh?

0:21:050:21:07

No, Lenny! This is what we're looking for!

0:21:070:21:10

Whoever has this room is our soap thief.

0:21:100:21:14

So who is it?

0:21:140:21:16

It is I, The Evil Destructor!

0:21:160:21:18

Actually, I wouldn't go in there for a bit, I just...

0:21:180:21:22

Ah! I see you've found my precious power minerals.

0:21:240:21:28

What?

0:21:280:21:29

Firstly, they're ours, not yours.

0:21:290:21:32

OK? Secondly, they're bars of soap!

0:21:320:21:36

Pah! How little you know, human!

0:21:360:21:40

To you, these might just be blocks of cleaning paste,

0:21:400:21:44

but to a Splurgian warrior, they're much, much, more.

0:21:440:21:49

All right mate, this has gone a bit too far.

0:21:510:21:54

You're just a silly man in a plastic costume, with probably no friends

0:21:540:21:59

and no chance of ever getting a girlfriend!

0:21:590:22:02

You're not an alien from the Planet "Splurg".

0:22:020:22:05

Yargh!

0:22:060:22:09

Eh!

0:22:110:22:13

He is an alien from the Planet Splurg!

0:22:130:22:15

That's right! And I do have a girlfriend, actually.

0:22:170:22:20

Her name's Villainous Obliterator, and we're very happy.

0:22:200:22:24

Now! Prepare to meet my shrink ray, hideous humans!

0:22:240:22:29

And this time, I won't miss.

0:22:290:22:32

-Argh!

-Run!

-Run!

0:22:320:22:36

You can run...but you can't hide!

0:22:380:22:41

Sorry, do you mind if I take this?

0:22:430:22:46

Only, it will look great in my new High School Musical doll's house.

0:22:460:22:50

Lenny!

0:22:500:22:52

Oh, yeah. Aaargh!

0:22:520:22:54

THEY SCREAM IN TERROR

0:22:580:23:00

OK, you lot, what's going on?

0:23:000:23:02

Nothing! Everything's great!

0:23:020:23:04

Dismal dwellers of Planet Earth!

0:23:050:23:08

I have succeeded in my mission

0:23:090:23:11

to locate enough power minerals from your pitiful planet.

0:23:110:23:15

I can now voyage in my recharged Mother Ship to the Planet Splurg!

0:23:150:23:20

-IRISH ACCENT

-I'll assemble a Splurgian army...

0:23:200:23:24

No, not now, no!

0:23:240:23:27

-There I will assemble...

-HE COUGHS

0:23:290:23:31

There, that's it. Sorry, I'll start again.

0:23:310:23:34

There, I will assemble a Splurgian army

0:23:340:23:37

and I will return to conquer this puny planet of weaklings!

0:23:370:23:41

Nothing will stop me now. Nothing!

0:23:410:23:43

Mwah-ha-ha-ha! Uh, uh, ooh, urgh!

0:23:430:23:47

Urgh! Oh!

0:23:470:23:49

Evil Destructor? Is that you?

0:23:500:23:54

No! Mrs Poshington?

0:23:540:23:56

It can't be!

0:23:560:23:58

You've got a nerve,

0:23:580:24:00

coming back here after what you did.

0:24:000:24:02

Er, Mrs P, what's going on?

0:24:020:24:05

That's the Evil Destructor.

0:24:050:24:07

That alien I told you about.

0:24:070:24:10

Him and his friends from the Planet Splodge.

0:24:100:24:13

-Splurg!

-"Splurge"!

0:24:130:24:15

Anyway, years ago, they captured me and took me up in this spaceship.

0:24:150:24:21

They wanted to make me their Alien Queen, but I escaped!

0:24:210:24:26

Escaped?! We let you go, you stupid woman!

0:24:260:24:29

-What?

-You were so annoying!

0:24:290:24:31

With your endless stories and your ridiculous, fussy cat!

0:24:310:24:35

-Why, you...!

-Careful, Mrs P!

0:24:350:24:37

Yes, stay back, you crazy woman! Argh! No!

0:24:370:24:42

PUNCHING AND YELLING

0:24:420:24:44

Argh! No! My precious power minerals!

0:24:450:24:49

So, it was you who took all my mini-soaps?

0:24:490:24:52

Right. That does it!

0:24:520:24:54

Emergency! Mother Ship!

0:24:570:24:59

Beam me up and take us as far away as from here as possible!

0:24:590:25:03

WHOOSHING NOISE

0:25:030:25:07

Very clever, Jamie!

0:25:160:25:18

I've got to hand it to you.

0:25:190:25:21

That was quite some special effects display!

0:25:210:25:24

What?

0:25:240:25:25

Er, oh, oh! Yeah!

0:25:260:25:28

Yes, Dolly, told you my back-up plan would work, didn't I?

0:25:280:25:31

Ah, those special effects took ages to set up.

0:25:310:25:36

What with all the, the setting up. And them being all special,

0:25:360:25:40

and effecty.

0:25:400:25:42

They weren't special effects! That was...

0:25:420:25:46

Mrs P, haven't you got some soaps to be picking up? Thank you!

0:25:460:25:50

Jamie. I'm going to tell Mr Trubble

0:25:500:25:54

-what a great job we've all done this weekend!

-"We"?

0:25:540:25:58

Yeah, you won't mind if I tell him it was a team effort, will you?

0:25:580:26:02

Guess not.

0:26:020:26:04

You've really surprised me, Jamie!

0:26:050:26:07

-I didn't realise you could handle something like this!

-Oh yeah,

0:26:070:26:12

don't worry about me, Dolly! I can handle anything!

0:26:120:26:16

See you at the cinema, Jamie! Outer Space Space Aliens From Space,

0:26:230:26:27

33 times in a row, baby! Don't be late!

0:26:270:26:30

I'll be there, mate! Can't wait!

0:26:300:26:32

Oh, hi there, Sal!

0:26:340:26:36

Oh. Did you just hear that?

0:26:370:26:39

Probably sounded like I was going with Lenny

0:26:390:26:42

to see that ridiculous film, but I'm not.

0:26:420:26:45

So why did you say "Can't wait, mate! See you there!"

0:26:450:26:49

Why did I say that?

0:26:490:26:52

I said, "I'll be there"

0:26:520:26:55

because I meant, I'll be there! Meaning...

0:26:550:26:59

..Over there! Behind reception.

0:26:590:27:02

And nowhere near the cinema.

0:27:020:27:04

OK, OK, I'm sorry, I have to say this.

0:27:070:27:10

I love Outer Space Space Aliens From Space!

0:27:100:27:13

And if you think I'm a geek because of that, then that's fine.

0:27:130:27:17

That's just who I am!

0:27:170:27:19

Just who I am.

0:27:190:27:20

S'all right, Jamie. I guess this sci-fi stuff isn't that bad.

0:27:200:27:24

After all, I got to meet a real space alien, and that's pretty cool!

0:27:240:27:29

Yeah, yeah! Pretty cool!

0:27:290:27:31

So, er, you can count me in for tonight!

0:27:310:27:35

-Really?

-Yeah!

0:27:350:27:37

You mean, you're going to come to the cinema with me?

0:27:370:27:40

PHONE RINGS I mean, with us? I mean, er, great!

0:27:400:27:44

For Lenny. It's great, for Lenny.

0:27:440:27:47

-I would like you to...

-Hello, Hotel Trubble?

0:27:470:27:51

# Hotel Trubble forever

0:27:530:27:56

# It's the pits and we know it's duff, but we love it

0:27:560:28:01

# Hotel Trubble forever

0:28:010:28:03

# We're a team staying calm, on and on

0:28:030:28:06

-# So the hotel survives.

-# Trubble, Trubble

0:28:060:28:09

# Keep the hotel alive. #

0:28:090:28:11

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:110:28:14

Excited about a new film, Outer Space Aliens from Outer Space, Lenny and Jamie persuade Dolly to host a sci-fi convention at the hotel. The arrival of sci-fi nerds in costume results in the staff completely missing the arrival of a real alien - a demanding Splurgian warrior who will stop at nothing to get hold of some precious power minerals.


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