Episode 5 How to Be Epic @ Everything

Welcome to the world of epic,

the place where you can become a master at everything on the planet.

No matter what it is, this programme shows you how to do it.

So, sit back, strap yourself in

and get ready to become epic at everything.

Welcome to your total random fix of epicness.

We've got an amazing line-up of experts, hotshots

and all-round dudes with the lowdown on how you can do what they can do.

In just 15 minutes, you'll know how to do...

..the movie trailer voice.

..make the perfect cup of tea,

shoot an arrow,

crack an egg one-handed,

be a superstar DJ,

and this kid will show you how to be a chimney sweep.

But before all of that, it's time to grab your remote

and turn the epicosity to maximum, because we're going to show you

how to do one of the coolest sports ever.

Surfing is epic - fact.

All you need to be great is a surfboard,

a big wave and a one-to-one lesson with a surf champ.

Oh, look, there is one - it's Hannah Harding. She is epic.

Hi, I'm Hannah Harding.

I've won the English Championships and the UK Tour

and I'm going to show you how to be epic at surfing.

Let's surf!

OK, so you'll be lying on your surfboard

and you need to look behind you for the wave.

Once you see it coming, you need to start paddling

to build up the speed to match the momentum of the wave.

OK, let's surf.

-You need to then pop up.

-Oh.

And to do so, you put your hands on the deck of the board

and lift you weight up and pop to your feet.

Right, let's surf!

Really important to keep your knees bent and arms out

and then you're surfing.

Surf now? Yes!

# If everybody had an ocean

# Across the USA... #

So, to be epic at surfing you need to...

paddle like crazy when you see a wave,

pop up, keep your knees bent, arms out

and ride your wave all the way to the beach.

Or fall off.

And that, you little rippers, is how to be epic at surfing.

Thank you, Hannah.

Epic lesson number one is done. Number two is on its way

and this one is an essential British life skill. Pay close attention.

Hello, I'm Stefan Gates.

Now, you probably think that making the perfect cup of tea is dead easy,

but it's not. I'm going to show you the secret science behind it.

Lovely!

All you need is one good-quality tea bag,

some fresh, cold milk,

and some fresh water.

Water in.

Kettle on.

Ooh, I can taste it already.

-Right, we've boiled it now. Time to get scientific.

-Yay?

-You need to get a thermometer.

-Yep.

-A stopwatch.

-Got it.

-And your favourite cup.

-Ooh, dainty!

Start off by putting tea bag in cup

and then add preferably 175ml of water.

Unsurprisingly, boiling water is hot, so please be careful.

Now, you need to leave it to brew for exactly two minutes.

Two minutes? I'm parched! Oh, come on, Stefan, get a wriggle on.

Oh, so close. OK, after two minutes is up, remove the tea bag.

And then, add 10ml of milk.

Great, ready to drink.

What you need to do now is wait

until the tea has cooled down to 60 degrees centigrade.

Leave it any longer, and it could start to turn bitter.

60 degrees. Ready!

Oi, that's mine!

Ahh!

And that's how to be epic at making the perfect cup of tea.

Cheers, Stefan.

On we go from making tea to making music.

If you want to be a DJ

then this girl is going to show you the tricks of the trade.

Being a DJ is an epic-tastic job,

but it's not just a matter of pressing play.

You've got to seamlessly mix one song into another

to keep the party jumping.

To show you how to do this super-cool skill,

we've got Radio One's B.Traits.

She's DJed all over the world. So, tell us what we need, B?

So, my tools of the trade today are some vinyl,

two turntables,

a mixer

and some headphones.

Vinyl? Old school.

You can also use CDs or MP3s.

The first thing you need to do is pick two tracks -

similar style, and speed.

OK, track one.

MUSIC: "Latch" by Disclosure ft. Sam Smith

And we're going to mix it into...

MUSIC: "Need U" by Duke Dumont ft. A*M*E

..track two. OK, how do we do that, then?

So, once you've selected your first track,

you want to put it on the turntable, press start,

and put the needle on the record.

So, now you're ready to mix your second track into your first track.

You want to find the first beat of the track.

So, we're going to go like this...

# I think we're close enough... #

VINYL SCRATCHES

That's the first beat.

VINYL SCRATCHES

Now, you'll only be able to hear this in your headphones.

Everybody else will only be hearing the first track that you're playing.

Got it.

You want to make sure that you're paying attention to your first track

because every few bars is an opportunity to

drop in your second track.

So, starting here...

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight and drop.

OK, B.Traits has two tracks playing at the same time

but the audience can only hear one.

It's now time to mix from one track to the other seamlessly.

So, we're going to come over to the mixer

and start to bring in the second track.

So, slowly push up the fader.

And your audience will gradually be able to hear a track coming in.

Now both tracks are playing at the same time,

so now you can start fading out your first track.

Volume down.

And now, your second track is playing.

Seamless.

And that's how you mix like a DJ.

Thanks, B.Traits.

OK, friends, we're right on target for some more epicness.

Here's what's still to come.

Our resident king of uselessness shows you how to do this,

this girl fires one of these,

and this guy tells you how to make your voice...

..epic.

But first, do you need money and want to do a really dangerous job?

No? Well, picture the scene.

The latest game console has come out and you have no cash.

You need to earn some pocket money.

Luckily for you, a lovely man has just the job for you.

Unfortunately, he's the leader of a bunch of Victorian chimney sweeps

and he wants you to start straightaway.

Sounds like you need to brush up on your chimney sweep skills

and also find out how not to die.

Well, here's top actor and history lover Stephen Graham

to tell you everything you need to know about this dirty job.

So...you've become a Victorian chimney sweep?

That's bad luck, there.

Firstly, you had to be small,

because they weren't all this big.

That's why children were perfect for the job,

because they could fit into tight spaces.

Erm, you're not selling it to me.

The usual chimneys you'd have to climb were about 30cm wide.

That's smaller than a basketball hoop.

Wahhhh! Argh!

Chimney sweeps were employed by a man called the master sweep.

Life with the master sweep wasn't much fun.

The children would have to sleep on a bag of soot

in a cold cellar on the floor.

And the highlight of the day was a bowl of soup.

I'm guessing it wasn't a nice carrot and coriander?

Here's a tip -

make sure you tuck all your clothes in, so they don't get caught.

And also, wear a nice tight belt so your trousers don't fall down.

I do that anyway. You can never be too safe!

Once you've done this, you have to shimmy your way to the top.

Also, don't forget you have to bring your tools.

It'll be pitch black inside there.

So, in short, it's awful.

If the children were too scared to climb any higher,

the sweep master would encourage them by lighting a fire.

This job couldn't get any worse...

It just did.

It wasn't all bad.

You did get paid - a whopping 15 shillings a week.

Hey, that's not so bad.

Which is about...75p.

What?! Oh, that's it. We quit!

And that's how you become an epic Victorian chimney sweep.

Cheers, Stephen.

Three more hits of epicness to go.

If darts isn't epic enough for you, then this sport super-sizes it.

Meet Danielle Brown.

She has won gold at the Paralympics

and she's going to show you how to be an epic archer.

Whoo-hoo!

To be epic at archery, you need to practise a lot.

Bow, arrow, target. Let's do this.

I'm going to show you how to get this arrow in that target.

Yes, please.

You need to put the arrow on the string.

Arrow on string. Check.

And then you put the release mechanism onto the string as well.

Release thingyajiggy. Carry on.

You need to aim the sight at the centre of the target.

This is very tense.

Bull's-eye...ish.

So, to be epic at archery you need

a bow, some arrows, a target,

a release thingymajiggy,

some eyes, a thing to make your eyes better

and a bucket-load of skill.

-That's how to be epic at archery.

-Thanks, Danielle.

From a gold-medal winner to

a man who has absolutely no medals whatsoever,

but he's still our hero.

He's the Prince of Pointlessness, the Emperor of the Absurd,

the Saint of Silliness.

He's Max Byrne and he's always got a trick

that is totally useless but brilliant.

Ragh!

And this time, you'll need some eggs.

Hola. My name is Max Byrne.

I'm going to show you how to crack eggs one-handed. Egg-cellent.

Oh, dear.

Now, before you start cracking all the eggs in your house,

you need to practise.

The best way to do this is two rolled up pieces of foil

and a two pence coin.

Place it in between the two balls

and practise moving your fingers apart to release the coin.

Looks a bit weird.

Chook, chook, chook! They're here.

Now, grab your egg, and what you're going to do is you're going to

bash it against the side of the bowl and then apologise to it.

-Just like this...

-Sorry!

..and then move your fingers apart, releasing the yolk into the bowl.

What yolk? That yolk.

Best get cracking!

And soon, you'll be able to crack eggs just like this.

Eggs-treme!

This man's an eggs-pert.

Egg-cellent!

Egg-pic.

Cheers, Max.

OK, friends, it's almost over,

but not before one last epic dose of epicosity.

This one will make your voice a movie star. Listen and learn.

Do you want to make your voice truly epic? I do! Listen to this.

This year, in a world far, far away, an epic programme began.

One man will teach you how to be epic at doing the movie trailer voice.

Yes, please. Teach me!

Oh, hi. My name is Redd Pepper and I'm a movie trailer voice-over man.

Cool.

In a world where time began, where people were not what they seemed...

Although voice artists like myself don't appear on screen,

you still have to be able to act because this line of work,

you have to be able to exaggerate and be very dramatic.

-GROWLY VOICE:

-Like this!

No?

Sounds obvious, but you really have to be able to read

and read out aloud.

I used to read out aloud to my father,

and look what it's done for me.

In cinemas everywhere now.

You have to be able to talk properly, too.

Make sure you put the Ts at the end of your words.

Instead of saying "tha", say "that".

What?

Practice makes perfect. Record your voice, listen back to it.

You may not like it but it will help you to perfect your craft.

If you only see one movie this year, this is it.

When you're happy with all the recordings you've done of yourself,

listen back and practise some more,

and then you'll be ready to be a movie trailer man.

Watch and learn.

On a field there is a ball just waiting to be kicked.

But it wasn't, until now...

And it makes some things a little more fun.

Hi, can I order a chicken jalfrezi, please?

HE LAUGHS EVILLY

Do you want naan bread with that?

And that is how to be epic at being a movie trailer voice-over man.

-GROWLY VOICE:

-That was amazing.

I mean, that was amazing. Thanks, Redd Pepper.

Right, that brings us to the end of 15 minutes of total random epicness.

You should now be able to try this

and this,

that

and that,

this...this

and even that.

Now, go forth and be epic at everything.