Episode 5 How to Be Epic @ Everything


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Episode 5

Stephen Graham and Radio 1's B.Traits are amongst an amazing line-up of experts who demonstrate how to do the movie trailer voice, surf and make the perfect cup of tea.


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Welcome to the world of epic,

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the place where you can become a master at everything on the planet.

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No matter what it is, this programme shows you how to do it.

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So, sit back, strap yourself in

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and get ready to become epic at everything.

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Welcome to your total random fix of epicness.

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We've got an amazing line-up of experts, hotshots

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and all-round dudes with the lowdown on how you can do what they can do.

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In just 15 minutes, you'll know how to do...

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..the movie trailer voice.

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..make the perfect cup of tea,

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shoot an arrow,

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crack an egg one-handed,

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be a superstar DJ,

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and this kid will show you how to be a chimney sweep.

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But before all of that, it's time to grab your remote

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and turn the epicosity to maximum, because we're going to show you

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how to do one of the coolest sports ever.

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Surfing is epic - fact.

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All you need to be great is a surfboard,

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a big wave and a one-to-one lesson with a surf champ.

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Oh, look, there is one - it's Hannah Harding. She is epic.

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Hi, I'm Hannah Harding.

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I've won the English Championships and the UK Tour

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and I'm going to show you how to be epic at surfing.

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Let's surf!

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OK, so you'll be lying on your surfboard

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and you need to look behind you for the wave.

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Once you see it coming, you need to start paddling

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to build up the speed to match the momentum of the wave.

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OK, let's surf.

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-You need to then pop up.

-Oh.

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And to do so, you put your hands on the deck of the board

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and lift you weight up and pop to your feet.

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Right, let's surf!

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Really important to keep your knees bent and arms out

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and then you're surfing.

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Surf now? Yes!

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# If everybody had an ocean

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# Across the USA... #

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So, to be epic at surfing you need to...

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paddle like crazy when you see a wave,

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pop up, keep your knees bent, arms out

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and ride your wave all the way to the beach.

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Or fall off.

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And that, you little rippers, is how to be epic at surfing.

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Thank you, Hannah.

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Epic lesson number one is done. Number two is on its way

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and this one is an essential British life skill. Pay close attention.

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Hello, I'm Stefan Gates.

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Now, you probably think that making the perfect cup of tea is dead easy,

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but it's not. I'm going to show you the secret science behind it.

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Lovely!

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All you need is one good-quality tea bag,

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some fresh, cold milk,

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and some fresh water.

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Water in.

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Kettle on.

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Ooh, I can taste it already.

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-Right, we've boiled it now. Time to get scientific.

-Yay?

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-You need to get a thermometer.

-Yep.

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-A stopwatch.

-Got it.

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-And your favourite cup.

-Ooh, dainty!

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Start off by putting tea bag in cup

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and then add preferably 175ml of water.

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Unsurprisingly, boiling water is hot, so please be careful.

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Now, you need to leave it to brew for exactly two minutes.

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Two minutes? I'm parched! Oh, come on, Stefan, get a wriggle on.

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Oh, so close. OK, after two minutes is up, remove the tea bag.

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And then, add 10ml of milk.

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Great, ready to drink.

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What you need to do now is wait

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until the tea has cooled down to 60 degrees centigrade.

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Leave it any longer, and it could start to turn bitter.

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60 degrees. Ready!

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Oi, that's mine!

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Ahh!

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And that's how to be epic at making the perfect cup of tea.

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Cheers, Stefan.

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On we go from making tea to making music.

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If you want to be a DJ

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then this girl is going to show you the tricks of the trade.

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Being a DJ is an epic-tastic job,

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but it's not just a matter of pressing play.

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You've got to seamlessly mix one song into another

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to keep the party jumping.

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To show you how to do this super-cool skill,

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we've got Radio One's B.Traits.

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She's DJed all over the world. So, tell us what we need, B?

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So, my tools of the trade today are some vinyl,

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two turntables,

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a mixer

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and some headphones.

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Vinyl? Old school.

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You can also use CDs or MP3s.

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The first thing you need to do is pick two tracks -

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similar style, and speed.

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OK, track one.

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MUSIC: "Latch" by Disclosure ft. Sam Smith

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And we're going to mix it into...

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MUSIC: "Need U" by Duke Dumont ft. A*M*E

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..track two. OK, how do we do that, then?

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So, once you've selected your first track,

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you want to put it on the turntable, press start,

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and put the needle on the record.

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So, now you're ready to mix your second track into your first track.

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You want to find the first beat of the track.

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So, we're going to go like this...

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# I think we're close enough... #

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VINYL SCRATCHES

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That's the first beat.

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VINYL SCRATCHES

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Now, you'll only be able to hear this in your headphones.

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Everybody else will only be hearing the first track that you're playing.

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Got it.

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You want to make sure that you're paying attention to your first track

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because every few bars is an opportunity to

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drop in your second track.

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So, starting here...

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One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

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One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight and drop.

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OK, B.Traits has two tracks playing at the same time

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but the audience can only hear one.

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It's now time to mix from one track to the other seamlessly.

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So, we're going to come over to the mixer

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and start to bring in the second track.

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So, slowly push up the fader.

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And your audience will gradually be able to hear a track coming in.

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Now both tracks are playing at the same time,

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so now you can start fading out your first track.

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Volume down.

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And now, your second track is playing.

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Seamless.

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And that's how you mix like a DJ.

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Thanks, B.Traits.

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OK, friends, we're right on target for some more epicness.

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Here's what's still to come.

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Our resident king of uselessness shows you how to do this,

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this girl fires one of these,

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and this guy tells you how to make your voice...

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..epic.

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But first, do you need money and want to do a really dangerous job?

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No? Well, picture the scene.

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The latest game console has come out and you have no cash.

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You need to earn some pocket money.

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Luckily for you, a lovely man has just the job for you.

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Unfortunately, he's the leader of a bunch of Victorian chimney sweeps

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and he wants you to start straightaway.

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Sounds like you need to brush up on your chimney sweep skills

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and also find out how not to die.

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Well, here's top actor and history lover Stephen Graham

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to tell you everything you need to know about this dirty job.

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So...you've become a Victorian chimney sweep?

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That's bad luck, there.

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Firstly, you had to be small,

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because they weren't all this big.

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That's why children were perfect for the job,

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because they could fit into tight spaces.

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Erm, you're not selling it to me.

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The usual chimneys you'd have to climb were about 30cm wide.

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That's smaller than a basketball hoop.

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Wahhhh! Argh!

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Chimney sweeps were employed by a man called the master sweep.

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Life with the master sweep wasn't much fun.

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The children would have to sleep on a bag of soot

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in a cold cellar on the floor.

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And the highlight of the day was a bowl of soup.

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I'm guessing it wasn't a nice carrot and coriander?

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Here's a tip -

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make sure you tuck all your clothes in, so they don't get caught.

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And also, wear a nice tight belt so your trousers don't fall down.

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I do that anyway. You can never be too safe!

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Once you've done this, you have to shimmy your way to the top.

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Also, don't forget you have to bring your tools.

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It'll be pitch black inside there.

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So, in short, it's awful.

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If the children were too scared to climb any higher,

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the sweep master would encourage them by lighting a fire.

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This job couldn't get any worse...

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It just did.

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It wasn't all bad.

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You did get paid - a whopping 15 shillings a week.

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Hey, that's not so bad.

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Which is about...75p.

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What?! Oh, that's it. We quit!

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And that's how you become an epic Victorian chimney sweep.

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Cheers, Stephen.

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Three more hits of epicness to go.

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If darts isn't epic enough for you, then this sport super-sizes it.

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Meet Danielle Brown.

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She has won gold at the Paralympics

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and she's going to show you how to be an epic archer.

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Whoo-hoo!

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To be epic at archery, you need to practise a lot.

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Bow, arrow, target. Let's do this.

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I'm going to show you how to get this arrow in that target.

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Yes, please.

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You need to put the arrow on the string.

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Arrow on string. Check.

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And then you put the release mechanism onto the string as well.

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Release thingyajiggy. Carry on.

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You need to aim the sight at the centre of the target.

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This is very tense.

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Bull's-eye...ish.

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So, to be epic at archery you need

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a bow, some arrows, a target,

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a release thingymajiggy,

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some eyes, a thing to make your eyes better

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and a bucket-load of skill.

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-That's how to be epic at archery.

-Thanks, Danielle.

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From a gold-medal winner to

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a man who has absolutely no medals whatsoever,

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but he's still our hero.

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He's the Prince of Pointlessness, the Emperor of the Absurd,

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the Saint of Silliness.

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He's Max Byrne and he's always got a trick

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that is totally useless but brilliant.

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Ragh!

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And this time, you'll need some eggs.

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Hola. My name is Max Byrne.

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I'm going to show you how to crack eggs one-handed. Egg-cellent.

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Oh, dear.

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Now, before you start cracking all the eggs in your house,

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you need to practise.

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The best way to do this is two rolled up pieces of foil

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and a two pence coin.

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Place it in between the two balls

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and practise moving your fingers apart to release the coin.

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Looks a bit weird.

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Chook, chook, chook! They're here.

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Now, grab your egg, and what you're going to do is you're going to

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bash it against the side of the bowl and then apologise to it.

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-Just like this...

-Sorry!

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..and then move your fingers apart, releasing the yolk into the bowl.

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What yolk? That yolk.

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Best get cracking!

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And soon, you'll be able to crack eggs just like this.

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Eggs-treme!

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This man's an eggs-pert.

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Egg-cellent!

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Egg-pic.

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Cheers, Max.

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OK, friends, it's almost over,

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but not before one last epic dose of epicosity.

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This one will make your voice a movie star. Listen and learn.

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Do you want to make your voice truly epic? I do! Listen to this.

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This year, in a world far, far away, an epic programme began.

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One man will teach you how to be epic at doing the movie trailer voice.

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Yes, please. Teach me!

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Oh, hi. My name is Redd Pepper and I'm a movie trailer voice-over man.

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Cool.

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In a world where time began, where people were not what they seemed...

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Although voice artists like myself don't appear on screen,

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you still have to be able to act because this line of work,

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you have to be able to exaggerate and be very dramatic.

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-GROWLY VOICE:

-Like this!

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No?

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Sounds obvious, but you really have to be able to read

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and read out aloud.

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I used to read out aloud to my father,

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and look what it's done for me.

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In cinemas everywhere now.

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You have to be able to talk properly, too.

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Make sure you put the Ts at the end of your words.

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Instead of saying "tha", say "that".

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What?

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Practice makes perfect. Record your voice, listen back to it.

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You may not like it but it will help you to perfect your craft.

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If you only see one movie this year, this is it.

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When you're happy with all the recordings you've done of yourself,

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listen back and practise some more,

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and then you'll be ready to be a movie trailer man.

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Watch and learn.

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On a field there is a ball just waiting to be kicked.

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But it wasn't, until now...

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And it makes some things a little more fun.

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Hi, can I order a chicken jalfrezi, please?

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HE LAUGHS EVILLY

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Do you want naan bread with that?

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And that is how to be epic at being a movie trailer voice-over man.

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-GROWLY VOICE:

-That was amazing.

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I mean, that was amazing. Thanks, Redd Pepper.

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Right, that brings us to the end of 15 minutes of total random epicness.

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You should now be able to try this

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and this,

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that

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and that,

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this...this

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and even that.

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Now, go forth and be epic at everything.

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Stephen Graham and Radio 1's B.Traits are amongst an amazing line-up of experts who demonstrate how to do the movie trailer voice, surf, crack an egg with one hand, be a Victorian chimney sweep, mix like a DJ, do archery and make the perfect cup of tea.