Own Goal Jamie Johnson

Have you heard from Dad lately?

The whole point of us moving in here was to make a fresh start.

Hugo has kindly offered to be your buddy for the day.

Hey, give it back!

Who are you going to choose?

Us or your little buddy?

-I'll be on your side.

-You?

-Are you a Hawkstone fan, then?

-Of course. Football's my life.

Right answer.

-About your dad...

-What about him?

INCORRECT NUMBER TONE

Hi, Jamie, I'm Jez, I've heard a lot about you.

-What a comeback!

-How do you fancy joining our squad for training?

Yes, sir.

I hate her. I need to know he's OK.

I won't rest until I've found my dad.

RING TONE

-Is this Patsy?

-'Yeah.'

Hi, it's me, Jamie.

-'Jamie, how are you?'

-Yeah, not so bad.

I've been trying to get hold of my dad.

'Oh, I can't remember the last time I saw him.'

I think he changed his number. Don't suppose you have his new one?

'Oh, sorry, Jamie, I don't. I'm late for work.

'I'll have to dash. Take care.'

Jamie.

Jamie!

-What are you doing up so early?

-I couldn't sleep.

And who are you calling at this time?

If you won't tell me where Dad is, I'll have to find someone who will.

I thought we'd been through all this?

Jamie, we've got to move on.

You can, but you can't force me.

Just promise me you won't try and contact your dad.

-Why?

-Because... Because...

-Because I'm asking you. That's why.

-Can I have my phone back now?

-Just...promise me, Jamie.

-Right!

OK, cheers, Uncle Pete, and if you do hear anything,

just tell him I've been trying to get hold of him. See you.

-So, when did you last see him?

-'Oh, it was a few months ago, mate.'

-You don't know where he's living?

-'Er...no.'

You're supposed to be his best mate.

'I'm just about to go into a tunnel, Jamie. I'm losing you, mate.'

Thanks for nothing.

Roll it.

It's not the poor ball's fault.

-I'm never going to find him, am I?

-You will.

How can his family and friends not know where he is?

-It's starting to feel like they're in on some big...

-Conspiracy?

-Yeah, that.

-Well, why would they lie to you?

That's what I'd like to know.

Well, it's not often a team put five past Leon Tibbs.

Where did it all go wrong for Hawkstone today, Ruud?

Mate, you know, you can't defend on this level like this, you know,

and without getting punished.

I don't suppose you could argue with that, Jamie?

Yeah, I couldn't agree more with you, Ruud.

Hawkstone's defence was an absolute shambles today.

But that's not the reason why I'm here.

-Dad, I know you'll be watching. Please call me.

-Jamie?

I've tried everyone I can think of and nobody knows where you are.

-Jamie?

-I'm still on the same number.

-Jamie?

-Please, Dad, I just need to know you're OK.

-Jamie Reacher!

If you want to amount to nothing in life, just carry on daydreaming.

-So, what does your dad do?

-He's a paver, why?

Just curious, that's all.

Street pavings, patios, driveways, anything like that.

-He must be strong.

-He is.

You should see the muscles on him

and he's never set foot in a gym.

So, say my mum wanted a lovely new patio laid,

-he'd be the man for the job?

-Yeah. I suppose so.

That's if she could ever track him down.

Now, the best way to solve any problem, is to approach it

like a game of chess.

Think of the obstacle as the king and you as the rook.

-How are you going to get the upper hand?

-How should I know?

I don't even know how to play chess.

No, but you DO know how to play football

and all the best players have the ability to checkmate any opponent.

You need to take the emotion out of it. Use your logic.

Look, if you're really convinced his family and friends are keeping

something from you, why not let me call them instead?

And why would they tell you anything and not me?

What's your dad's name?

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-Oh, hello!

Sorry for bothering you, but I need a new patio laying

and I'm trying to get hold of an Ian Reacher.

-SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-Och, hello,

my name is Angus Sturgeon, I'm trying to track doon

Ian Reacher about a wee job I need daein.

-POSH LADY'S ACCENT:

-Oh, hello, my name's Penelope Windsor.

I'm trying to get hold of Ian Reacher about some paving

I need laying in my stable block.

His name came highly recommended,

but unfortunately, I seem to have mislaid his contact details.

You should be on stage.

All the world's a stage and all the men

and women merely players.

What's he on about?

It's Shakespeare.

Doesn't he play for Chelsea?

Philistine.

You never know, somebody could respond to one of those messages.

Yeah, and Hawkstone might sign Lionel Messi on a free transfer.

What are you doing here?

-Didn't feel like going home.

-Why?

Well, I'm pleased you did turn up because I've got something

here that might cheer you up.

-What is it?

-There's only one way of finding out.

Go on, open it.

Tell me these are what I think they are.

What do you think?

Oh...thanks, Mike.

I wish I could afford a pair like the ones off your dad,

but they cost more than I'm expected to live on for the whole week.

It's ridiculous.

Well, couldn't have you turning up for training tomorrow in boots

that don't fit properly, could I?

Anyway, it's not about the price or some fancy name...

The only thing that matters is the magic of the feet inside them.

It's not the boots. I love 'em.

So, what's with the face?

Come on, you can tell me.

You were wrong about that stupid new fella of hers.

-How, how do you mean?

-I saw them yesterday afternoon.

-Saw them?

-They were in his car, kissing in the middle of the street.

-Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure! It was disgusting.

-Like he was trying to eat her.

-All right. All right.

The main thing is...

You don't let any of this distract you from your football.

If you want to get onto that team, you've got to stay 100% focused.

Come out of the blocks absolutely flying tomorrow.

I've been watching that goal Theo Baynes

scored against Foxborough last season over and over again.

-The overhead kick?

-Yeah. My dad took me to that game.

He said it was the most spectacular goal he'd ever seen.

Now, if I could do something like that tomorrow, Mr Hansard

would have no choice but to pick me.

-Are you serious?

-Yeah. Do you think you could teach me how to do it?

I'm sure I could...

-But I'm not going to.

-Why?

Because you don't impress real football people by being flashy.

The first thing you've got to do is prove you're a team player.

So, get out on that wing, leave the defenders for dead

and whip in some of those dangerous crosses

for your team-mates to get on the end of.

Now, are you going to try those on, or not?

Nice boots, Reacher, what are they? Pound Shop specials?

Ignore him. If you react, you're giving him exactly what he wants.

Yeah, and he has to warm up with a girl to make himself look better.

Beat you two, didn't we?

-Right, Reacher, time to show us what you're made of.

-Go on, Jamie.

You show 'em.

Attack versus defence. You all know the score.

If you don't, you soon will, Reacher.

Right, Simmons, let's go.

Keep that shape, keep that shape.

Harry!

Well played, defence. Well played, defence.

Reacher, get into the game, what are you doing out here?

-Going out for a stroll?

-Come on, Jamie.

Dillon! Dillon!

-Come on!

-Come on, Jamie, get involved.

Good play, good play.

Come on, lads, press, let's press the backline.

Harry! Harry!

You're going nowhere, Harry.

Come on, Harry.

What's the matter, Harry?

You put your boots on the wrong feet? Come on, mate, come on.

Dillon! I'm in space. I'm free, I'm free.

Dillon, give him the ball.

-Pass.

-Dream on, Reacher.

-Dillon!

-Get involved, what's the matter with you?

They're not passing.

It doesn't matter, get involved, ask for the ball,

make yourself available.

Use your nod. Come on!

-Play wider!

-Sam!

Go past him, he's in space.

Find the space, Harry, good play, good play.

Dillon!

Get it out there, well done.

Come on.

-Foul, sir.

-Sir, that's a foul.

No foul. Play on.

Come on!

-ECHOING:

-Come on, Jamie.

Do you really think Hansard's going to pick someone else

to play in his grandson's position?

I don't know what it was like in your old school, Jamie Reacher.

The whole point of us moving in here was to make a fresh start.

The only thing that matters is the magic of the feet inside.

Jez? He's just a friend.

I'm sure your dad will be in touch when he's good and ready.

You'll have to man up if you want to play in my team.

THEY LAUGH

Nice try, Reacher. What was that?

An overhead kick?

-Look, he's crying.

-ALL: Ahhh!

All right, all right, that's enough, Simmons.

Oi, where do you think you're going?

Look, if you're serious about having a place on this team,

-you'd better come back here right now!

-Shove your stupid team!

Jamie, what are you thinking?

You really believe you're a match for the boys?

-Well, now's your chance to prove it.

-What?

Well, since baby's thrown his toys out of the pram,

we need to even out the numbers.

Sir, you're having a laugh, aren't you?

At least she's hungry for it, which is more than can be said for him.

Just as long as you play for the team

and not just for yourself, like some people I could mention.

Don't let me stop you.

What, you're not going to bottle it, are you?

-Have a pop in goal. We need strength in that area.

-Yes, sir.

-I thought you were at training?

-Blown it, haven't I?

Come on, it can't be THAT bad.

Believe me, there's more of a chance of Hawkstone qualifying for

the Champions League than there is of me ever getting onto that team.

-Why, what's happened?

-Forget it.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-'Oh, hello. Can I speak to Mrs Windsor, please?'

Sorry, I think you must have the wrong...

Oh, yes! Mrs Windsor! Of course, one second. I'll just put her on!

(Jamie! Jamie, come here!)

-What is it?

-Sshhhhh!

-POSH ACCENT:

-Hello, Mrs Windsor speaking.

Sorry to keep you waiting, how may I help?

'Hello, my name's Frank Milton. I'm an old mate

'of Ian Reacher's. You left a message the other day?'

Oh, yes, Mr Reacher came highly recommended.

I was most disappointed when I mislaid his number.

'Well, the last I heard, he was living with his sister in Derby

'but I don't have an address or number, sorry.'

Well, I really appreciate you letting me know. Toodle-oo.

He's living with Auntie Samantha?

-Why, haven't you tried her?

-No. Didn't have her number.

Besides, Dad always got on with Uncle Ellis,

but he couldn't stand her.

Things must be worse than I thought if he's living with them.

-Do you know where they live?

-Kind of.

I haven't been there since I was a kid.

Are you going to go?

Not unless you're offering to pay for my train fare.

I haven't got a penny.

I'd love to, but unfortunately I left my gold card at home today.

Is there anyone else you can ask?

Only my grandad, but there's no way

he'd let me go all that way on my own.

-Unless...

-Unless what?

I could always tell him I need the money for...

a school trip or something.

-Are you sure about this?

-What choice have I got?

Promise you won't mention this to anyone. Promise me.

I promise.

Jamie?

Hello?

Jamie?

Jamie?

PHONE RINGS

-'Hello?'

-Dad?

Is Jamie with you?

No, I saw the back of his head earlier.

-Why?

-'He's not home and he hasn't touched his tea.'

It's not like him.

No, it's not like him to steal £20 from my tin, either.

What?!

DOORBELL RINGS

Jamie?

-What are you doing here?

-Hi, Auntie Sam.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, hiya. It's Jack, isn't it? I'm Jamie's mum.

-I don't suppose you've seen him, have you?

-Why?

Well, he hasn't come home and he's not answering his phone

and we're starting to get a bit worried.

-I don't suppose you know where he could be?

-I could try Boggie.

-When was the last time you saw him?

-We were at training together.

-And was he OK then?

-No, not really.

-He got himself into a bit of a state.

-What do you mean?

I think he was just frustrated

cos things weren't going his way.

What did he do?

Um, well, he told Hansard where he could shove his team and ran off.

He was in tears.

He left these behind.

Well, did you go after him?

Your mate runs off in tears and you don't go after him?

Why not?

Don't tell me you came all this way on your own?

Does your mum know you're here?

I've been trying to get hold of my dad. You're my last hope.

I wish I could help you, Jamie, I really do.

But I don't have to tell you

how bad he is at keeping in touch with people.

I can't remember the last time I saw him.

But I was told he was living here.

Well, yes - he did come and stay with us for a short while.

When?

I don't know, it must have been a good few months back now.

But then...he got offered a job out of the blue

and said it was too good to turn down.

I think he just wanted to make a fresh start.

A fresh start?

What do you mean?

-Well, the job was in France.

-France?

I'm so sorry, Jamie.

-Still no sign?

-No.

I've searched all his usual haunts and...nothing.

-Jack told me he did a runner from training this afternoon.

-What?!

Apparently, he told Hansard where he could shove his team

and ran off in tears.

You're joking!

And she's got no idea where he might have gone?

This morning he was going on about trying to find his dad again.

-You don't think he's gone looking for him?

-Well, how could he?

He's got no idea where he is.

Oh, Dad...

he could be anywhere!

SHE SIGHS

-Why didn't he tell ME?

-Because it all happened so fast.

Do you have an address for him?

He promised he'd be in touch once he settled down,

but...you know what he's like.

You really mustn't take it all personally.

He's always been something of a free spirit.

But he is incredibly fond of you.

-You do know that, don't you?

-Fond?!

Your mum must be worried sick.

Why don't you give her a call, let her know where you are,

and then I'll drive you home.

DOOR SLAMS

Uncle Ellis.

Jamie!

I almost didn't recognise you!

Look at the size of you now! What are you doing here?

I'm trying to find my dad.

Well, you've come to the right place -

-I just left him in the pub four minutes ago.

-What?

-My dad?

-Uh-huh.

-Just now?

-Yeah.

-Down the end here.

-Ellis!

-You lied to me.

-Jamie, I can explain.

My dad always said you were a stuck-up cow.

Hang on a minute! Jamie!

How could he do this to me?

Has he said anything to you?

Given you any sort of clue?

Something must have sparked all this.

I don't suppose seeing you

kissing your new fancy man in broad daylight helped matters!

You should have just told him

the truth about his dad from the start.

We'd never be in this mess now!

MUSIC: Golden Years by David Bowie

# Don't let me hear you say life is taking you nowhere. #

Yes!

Another unbeaten run!

Right, got you.

SIREN WAILS

DOOR SHUTS

He just left these dumped by the side of the pitch.

-Normally he can't sleep without his boots.

-OK.

So he's acting out. But he's got a good head on his shoulders.

I just...can't get these marks out.

They're much harder to clean than the old ones.

He'll be OK.

Are there no other friends you could try?

This wasn't the first impression I wanted to make with Jamie's mum.

-She'll just be glad we told the truth.

-Oh, yeah!

"Nice to meet you, Mrs Reacher. My name's Boggie.

"And by the way, I told your son where his dad lives

"and now he's run away."

Hiya!

INAUDIBLE

Hey, big man!

Hey!

Have you had a good day? Eh?

SLAVES: # How will you fight back with no hands?

# You can't run!

# You can't run!

You're saying this whole thing is down to you?

A fine pair of friends you are, I must say!

Please, sir, you've got to give me one more chance.

He needs to know.

Some people will just not be told!

I have guile, cunning

and I'm an expert tactician.

We're going to get him onto that team.

How does it feel to have a girl make the team you can't even get on?

ALL: Foul! Ref!

This is your chance. Your one chance.

ALL: Reacher!

Go on, shoot!