Edinburgh Jedward's Big Adventure

-Fire!

-Today, it's Braveheart or bust as Jedward guide a bunch

of tourists through the ancient streets of Edinburgh.

-Let's do this.

-And compete to be the best tour guide.

BOTH: There's no place like Scotland. There's no place like Scotland.

Their job is to use any means.

Who wants to squeeze my bubo?

..to pass on their newly-found knowledge...

Witches were burned here?!

..onto the unsuspecting public.

CHEERING

Who will be king of the castle and who will be the auld reekie rascal?

-I think I'm going to wee my pants.

-Don't wet yourself.

# Come with us there's so much to discover

# With me and my brother

# We dig up things and they freak you out

# Jedward's Big Adventure

# To be a tour guide there's so much to do

# There's a whole planet out there and it's just for you

# You never know what you'll find and it'll mess with your mind

# Hair raiser, trail blazer totally wild

# Jedward's Big Adventure... #

-BOTH: Three, two, one...

-Jedward are on a mission

to visit our biggest attractions

and compete against each other to become the best tour guide.

Each, with help from a celebrity friend... Do I look like a raven?

-And today's assignment has taken them north.

-Yeah!

-We're in Edinburgh, Scotland.

-Home of the haggis.

-Oh, gross!

-Play some bagpipes, go!

HE PIPES

Look, let's open it. It says, "Dear Jedward. Welcome to Edinburgh.

"In 24 hours,

"you'll each have to give a group of tourists a guided tour.

-"Whoever gives the worst tour will have to do a very messy forfeit."

-No!

BOTH: Eww!

-John, I think we need to get some help.

-I know who we need to pick.

-We need somebody who knows all about deadly missions.

-Like...

-Hi, Jedward.

-It's Wilkinson from Live And Deadly.

We'll also need somebody who knows all about castles.

Like someone from Harry Potter, for instance?

Yeah. I know Chris Rankin, AKA Percy Weasley.

-Hi, guys. Hi, Jedward.

-What do you know about Edinburgh?

It's in Scotland.

It's got a big castle.

I think we'll get the experts in. You guys relax while we go get the facts.

Let's go, Edward.

So the boys' challenge is simple, they have 24 hours to find out

everything about Edinburgh before tomorrow.

They'll compete to give the best guided tour.

Today is the boys' only chance to get the info.

Where better to start than the castle?

What's up?

I'm John. He's Edward and together we are Jedward. What's your name?

-It's John.

-I'm John as well.

His name's John so that means that you're both called John.

-Spooky.

-OK, John, what is this place?

-This is Edinburgh Castle.

This is volcano that you're on top of.

340 million years ago, Edinburgh was one big erupting volcano.

When it became extinct, it became a huge rock and in around 600AD,

a Celtic tribe built the first ever fortress on top of it.

This was replaced by a castle in around 1130AD.

Over the next 300 years was rebuilt,

and extended, becoming the world famous castle we see today.

I can't believe there was a volcano here.

What if one day, the volcano went...and the castle went...

-and it was all, like...?

-It's extinct. You're in no danger at all.

Phew, that's a relief, but there is another crisis to deal with.

It's so windy here, our hair's trying to fight the wind. What do we do?

You just have to put on a lot of hairspray.

So now that they're fixed their hair

and found out all about the castle's origins,

they're heading into the dungeons in search of their next tale.

Wow, it's cool.

-Is this like a prison?

-It is a prison.

If I was a prisoner, I'd be sleeping down here.

You'd be sleeping down here

and it'd be a lot more crowded than it is now.

-Can we get into a hammock?

-Course you can.

-Go, John.

This is so crazy.

# I'm in a hammock Ha-ha-ha-ha-hammock

# Chilling in a hammock I'm in a hammock

# Ha-ha-ha-ha-hammock... #

All I know is this isn't safe. If I was sleeping here, I'd fall out.

You've got to sway, that's the whole point.

The boys might be having fun, but, back in the day,

being locked up here was anything but fun

as a group of pirates were to discover.

In February 1720, the Scots stopped a suspicious-looking ship

the Eagle off the Argyll coast.

Aboard were 21 pirates along with a hoard of stolen treasure.

The pirates were imprisoned in the castle for six months.

Seven were released

while the rest were hanged to serve as a warning to

any more pirates thinking of causing any more trouble on the seas

around Scotland.

-Can you give us your best pirate impersonation?

-Ar-r-rgh, matey!

-Ar-r-rgh, matey!

-Oh-h!

Edward might need to practise his ar-r-rghs before tomorrow's tour.

Get a move on, boys. You've got so much more to discover.

Come on, John and John.

In 24 hours, Jedward will be guiding tourists

around the castle themselves. Each assisted by a celebrity helper.

John will be with Naomi and Edward with Chris.

Hang on. It's not fair. You've got an advantage.

Being in Harry Potter, you know all about witchcraft and wizardry

and castles and things.

-Well, yeah.

-What deadly animals are in Edinburgh Castle?

-Rats.

Don't worry, Naomi.

There are lots of live and deadly rats coming up next

as Jedward are about to find out.

-Beneath the city lies a warren of hidden streets.

-This is so sick.

They'd better watch out.

It's so scary!

DOOR CREAKS

That looks like hay. Was there horses down here? Was there cow...

Oh!

It's just a rock.

-Who are you? Are you a ghost?

-No, I'm James.

-Ghost test.

-You can touch me.

Stop that now. That's probably enough.

No, no, we can't walk through,

but I'd like to tell you about this place.

Do you know we're on a street?

This was completely open to the sky.

People used to live here?

They did, but you have to remember they didn't have proper toilets.

-Where did they go to the toilet?

-They had buckets.

You pick up your bucket, carry it to the door

and you throw it out with a cry of gardyloo!

Gardyloo!

Watch out for my poo!

It comes from French. It's beware of the water.

What they don't know is that the losing team tomorrow will be

gunged by buckets of false poo representing gardyloo.

Which won't be nice, will it?

You can imagine the diseases here, can't you?

-Yeah.

-Particularly, we get to the plague.

Why is he wearing a beak? It that a crazy Halloween costume?

That man is a plague doctor and he's trying to treat the plague.

Bubonic plague was carried by rats and fleas.

The first sign you were infected was horrible boils

appearing on your neck and armpits.

Then black spots would appear on your body.

Time to call the plague doctor.

Seeing someone dressed with a beak on their head

might not have been much help.

Edward, why are you day dreaming?

Can you still get the plague? I sometimes get spots.

All you need nowadays is antibiotics to stop the plague.

-What if I use exfoliating kits and spot stuff?

-That won't help.

It might cover up what's there but you'll still be ill.

Don't worry, boys. A few pimples doesn't mean you've got the plague.

They are halfway through finding out the facts.

Three, two, one, fire!

That's so cool!

In Edinburgh, lunchtime certainly goes off with a bang.

When the one o'clock gun goes off.

It's now less than 24 hours until

they'll compete to be the best tour guides.

The winning team will be decided when the tourists are tested

and the boys have no idea what questions they'll be asked.

Now the boys need to find out about Scotland's famous tartan.

-What is tartan?

-This is tartan.

Criss-cross, mixed squares, thousands of different designs.

-What colours?

-That would depend on where you were in Scotland.

Originally, many of the tartan colours

would have been sourced from local ingredients.

The weaver would use gypsywort to make something green,

seaweeds for a flesh colour and whelks for the colour purple.

Scotland's famous heather would be used for yellow, dark green

and an orangey brown.

Finally, they would use berries to make the colour blue.

Edward! What makes a traditional outfit?

Start with a kilt, socks that we call hose, a sporran.

-So that's a spurn... Sporran.

-Sporran.

-It's a sporran, boys.

-And you'll need to remember that for tomorrow.

-Sporran is a man purse.

It's a pocket because, in normal kilts, there are no pockets.

-What's that called?

-That's just a waistcoat.

-Can we try some on?

-You're welcome.

While Jedward dress for the part, celebrity helpers Naomi and

Chris are worried are worried about the roles they'll play tomorrow.

Jedward are a bit mad.

I reckon they might have some crazy things up their sleeves for us.

-Like?

-I don't like to think about it, really.

-Go!

-Whoa!

-Whoa!

This is Irish dancing.

Macarena, Macarena!

MUSIC: "Macarena" by Los Del Rio

Edward, if we ever want to back to Scotland, we just

put our kilts on and spin around and go, there's no place like Scotland.

There's no place like Scotland.

But, boys, would you want to come back after this?

Their next location is a spooky one.

What do you think we're doing here?

All I know is there must be ghosts here.

There's loads of graves and it's really scary.

-And it's raining.

-I think I'm going to wee my pants.

-Don't wet yourself.

It's so scary. Maybe this lady can help us.

-What's going on?

-Welcome to one of many Edinburgh graveyards.

I'm here to tell you about body snatchers.

Body snatchers, what's that?!

In the 19th century, medical schools were all over Edinburgh,

but they didn't have enough bodies for the students to cut up

so the body snatchers would dig up the freshly-buried dead

and take the corpses to the doctors.

The doctors would pay these men £7.

Sometimes, within a few hours of a body being laid to rest,

body snatchers would have it back out of the ground again.

The situation got

so bad that watch towers had to be built in the graveyards.

Some families went to far as protecting their loved ones

by locking them up in an iron casket called a mortsafe

Which was fine, just as long as the person wasn't still alive.

What else can you tell us?

Well, so great was the fear of being buried alive

that the dead would be buried with a bell attached to them.

And if the poor soul awoke,

they could pull the rope and ring the bell to summon help.

-Knock knock!

-Who's there?

Dead person, but not dead.

It's the way you tell 'em!

It's raining, it's pouring, let's hope Jedward are not snoring.

-They're about to be bewitched by the last story.

-What are we doing here?

Follow me around the corner.

-What is this place?

-Read the first line.

"This fountain, designed by John Duncan,

"is near the site on which many witches were burned at the stake."

Witches were burned here?

Edinburgh was the witch-burning capital of Europe.

In the 16th century, 300 women were burned as witches here.

Whoa!

The suspected witch would have their wrists and ankles tied together,

and they'd be thrown into the loch, which was an open sewer.

If they sank and drowned, they were innocent.

If they floated and survived, they were in league with the devil

and must be burned at the stake for being a witch.

-I'm not a witch!

-ANYONE could be a witch.

If someone didn't like you, you were left-handed,

-you had a cat, you had red hair.

-That's crazy.

They thought that witches controlled the weather,

that storms and rain were caused by witches.

I can't believe witches control the weather!

Look, it's snowing!

-You must be a witch! You've got to be burned!

-No, that's Dave!

-He's a witch!

-Burn him! Get the witch!

-We've got to get out of here.

-Well, that's it.

The twins have heard all the stories.

Now it's back to Jedward HQ.

I don't want to do this tomorrow

because I'll be too scared to tell the tourists the tour.

Man up, boys.

It's time to meet up with your celebrity helpers

and find out which stories you'll be recreating tomorrow.

-We've got pirates. That's really good.

-I can wear this.

-What's your best impersonation of a pilot?

-Arrrrrrrr!

-Really good.

-Your tasks tomorrow are the volcano castle.

-Brilliant!

Were going to bring this to the tourists,

put all the stuff in, and pffff!

Next one, plague.

You know when you get a minging spot on your face?

-I've got one here.

-And there's gunge everywhere.

How about we make fake sports?

-Our second mission is explaining a "sparran".

-Sparran.

-Sparran.

-Sporran. OK, I'll probably say that first.

-The next one's grave robbers.

-Grave robber?!

I'm going to get you to get into this dress here, and bury you alive.

I've been thinking. I've done all this. What have you done?

-You get creative, OK?

-Great.

It's going to be a sleepless night for our celebrities.

Morning! It's 6am on the big day.

A party of unsuspecting tourists are on the way to the Scottish capital,

and the celebrities are suffering from last-minute jitters.

I am quite nervous cos

if we don't get the facts right, we could end up looking really stupid.

I hope that doesn't happen.

I'm a little nervous, but it'll be fine.

At least I don't have to get in a grave, unlike some people.

The tourists are expecting to be taken around ancient Edinburgh,

but they have no idea who their tour guides are going to be.

This lot are in for the surprise of their lives.

-I'm John!

-I'm Edward!

-And together we are Jedward!

J to the E to the D to the WARD! Are you excited? Really excited?

Are you scared?

We've got two celebrity friends. Chris Rankin from Harry Potter!

AKA Percy Weasley. Wooo!

Awesome! And my team member is Naomi Wilkinson from Live'n'Deadly.

-Yay! Are you ready?

-Yes!

-OK, let's do this.

It's time for Jedward's tour of ancient Edinburgh,

and it's all to play for as only one team can win,

while the poor losers will receive a gardyloo soaking.

First up it's John and Naomi

with Edinburgh Castle's volcanic past.

John has an explosive demonstration planned.

It's going to explode?

We'll put the secret ingredient in, and it's going to go, "Whoooosh!"

And we're like, "Aaaargh!" I haven't tried this out yet.

-Hopefully, everything goes right.

-What could possibly go wrong?!

-I'm John!

-And Naomi!

-And together we are Jaomi!

Welcome to Edinburgh Castle.

Team Jaomi must make the tourists remember how many years ago

the castle rock was actually a volcano.

340 million years ago there was a volcano here.

Molten lava everywhere.

Today we're going to relive that moment.

-Do you want to see the volcano?

-Yes!

-Yes, please.

-I said, do you guys want to see the volcano?

-Yes!

All right, let's do this.

Three, two, one.

Quick, run! Run for your life, John!

Whoa! It's erupting!

It's going to go crazy!

Oh, dear.

That was impressive.

Was it, though? The tourists don't look that impressed.

Let's hope the mighty volcano didn't distract them from the crucial date.

Now it's over to Captain John Grimes

and first mate Chris Rankin for the tale of the pirates.

You must be our shipmates, which means you need to wear pirate gear.

Mums too, come on.

Their first story is to explain how many pirates were locked up

-in Edinburgh Castle.

-Can you all do an "aaaarrrr!"?

ALL: Aaaarrrrr!

Pirates were kept here as prisoners.

There was a boat out there on the water called the Eagle.

-Like an eagle.

-They found pirates on there, with treasure.

-They brought them back to the castle and kept them prisoner.

-21 pirates.

-How many sailors were brought here, young lady?

-21!

# A sailor went to sea, sea, sea

# To see what he could see, see, see! #

Didn't they do well? Getting the tourists

to repeat the number of pirate prisoners was a good tactic.

Now it's over to team John and some rather fetching attire.

-You know what? We look...

-BOTH: ..amazing!

-You look amazing.

-You look amazing. And together we look amazing.

Let's do this.

Next is the story of the tartan. They must get across to the tourists

what a sporran is used for.

-I feel so much more free.

-Hi, guys. We are waiting tartan.

-We're now wearing girly skirts.

-They are not skirts, they're kilts.

Different weavers made different tartan

depending on what dyes they could get hold of, so they used things

that grew in Scotland to make different coloured dyes.

Can John name that dye?

-For example, gypsywort would make the colour...

-I don't know.

-Green! And seaweed would make the colour...

-Flesh!

-Flesh colour.

-And berries would make the colour...

-Red.

-Blue!

-Whelks! What colour did whelks make?

-Pink?

-Purple.

-John's confused.

-Do you remember all that?

-And so are the tourists.

Remember, they need to tell them about the sporran.

We have pleats at the back, I don't have any pockets.

Where would my phone, money and keys go? In a sporran.

-What is it?

-ALL: Sporran!

Job done.

It was a rocky start, but have team Jaomi pulled it out of the sporran?

The team that I think is doing best is John and Naomi.

Crazy.

-I think the winners will probably be Naomi and John.

-Jaomi!

So, halfway through, and the competition is heating up.

This time, Edward and Chris have to get across not one, not two,

but three symptoms of the bubonic plague.

-Brought to you in association with rats...

-I've got the plague!

-..one dying Edward...

-I've got the plague!

..and one beaky doctor.

-He's going to help.

-I'm a doctor.

Plague doctors wore these... beaky things.

Who wants to squeeze my bubo?

ALL: No!

Fine, I'll get the doctor to do it.

ALL: Eurgh!

Isn't that disgusting?

I've got these black spots on my stomach.

-And have you got a high fever?

-I'm so hot right now.

He's definitely got the plague.

That's the symptoms taken care of.

But could they follow what was going on?

We've got to read of this dead body.

What do you guys reckon? Come on, let's go.

The team I think is doing best is Edward and Chris.

I'd say Edward and Chris's team.

Edward and Chris's team.

Cos they're all dramatic and funny.

Doesn't Edinburgh have a tropical beach we could tell them about?

John and Naomi are in a graveyard,

and are going to extreme lengths for their final story.

They must get across to the tourists who the grave robbers

-would sell the bodies to.

-This is the best idea ever.

-No, it's a terrible idea.

-So Naomi is not convinced about John's plan.

But I'm sure he'll let her out, won't he? Won't he?!

Here we go.

Things I do for Jedward.

I'm here to explain what grave robbing was. Do you know what it is?

-Yes!

-You don't, I'm going to explain it.

OK, so the tourists have heard of grave robbers,

but have they heard the story about the bell?

Grave robbers would dig up the bodies,

bring them to medical schools, and sell them for £7.

-How much?

-£7!

The reason he'd dig the bodies up was the medical schools wanted

as much bodies as possible to experiment on.

Back then, it was scary because they didn't know much about the bodies,

and sometimes they buried people alive.

And if they woke up, "What am I doing here?!"

They'd see a string attached to them, they'd pull the string...

BELL RINGS

Guys, look!

-Naomi's ringing the bell! Shall we let her out?

-Yes!

-What if it's just the wind blowing?

-Oi, it's me!

-Let's let her out.

Let's do this.

CHEERING

-You're alive!

-Didn't you hear me ringing the bell?!

-Very memorable.

-Go, Jaomi!

But did all the coffin chaos get in the way of the facts?

It was good learning all about how they buried people alive,

and I liked the whole bell thing.

Now it's over to Edward and Chris for their final story,

and no expense has been spared on this one.

Come on, guys, we've got lots to learn.

They're explaining the story of how witches were found guilty.

Chris should have an advantage here. After all, he was in Harry Potter.

Anyone could be accused of being a witch. You could be a witch,

-you could be a witch.

-You're a witch.

-Then you'd be tortured.

Or you might be given trial by water.

Do you want to know how trial by water worked? ALL: Yes!

Basically, if you were innocent, you drowned because you weren't magic.

But if you were a witch, then obviously you could do magic,

and you would float to the surface.

Our witch isn't guilty, she just wanted to fly away.

Well explained by Chris,

but Edward's flying, which might have distracted them from the info.

We'll soon find out, as the tours are now over.

Both teams have put everything into their tours of Edinburgh.

But have the tourists learned those vital facts,

or were the flying witches and all that coffin nonsense

too much of a distraction? It's time to find out.

It's time for the Big Test.

How many pirates were locked up in Edinburgh Castle?

-They're being asked one question on each of the stories.

-21!

For each correct answer, there's a point in it

for the team who told that story.

How many years ago was the castle rock a volcano?

And the team with the most points will win.

-I think it was 4-2 something.

-What were sporrans used for?

To put your belongings in.

So, it's the moment of truth. The scores are in.

Who will win and who will face a bucket of fake pee and poo,

called the gardyloo?!

There it is. Ugh!

I don't want to get gunged.

The results of Jedward's big adventure in Edinburgh are...

With 24 points...

-It's John and Naomi.

-No!

-Is that good or bad?

-I think it's quite bad.

While Edward and Chris have scored a total of...

..28 points!

-It'll be OK!

-It's victory for Edward!

So far in the series, both boys have won two shows each.

The winner gets to perform the Edinburgh ritual of gardyloo

on the loser!

I don't want to be gardyloo'd.

I don't want poo and pee all that stuff. And they go, "Gardyloo!"

I don't want to be all smelly.

Oh, dear. Did we forget to tell team John

that the buckets of gardyloo were not real?

It's just gravy and pop mixed together. Oh, well, too late now.

Brace yourselves - this is going to be messy.

You're going to get it!

No, no! EDWARD: You're going to get it!

THEY SQUEAL

Gardyloo!

-It stinks.

-Is my hair ruined?

-Gardyloo!

It's disgusting! What is it?!

-It looks like someone got sick on you.

-I think it's worse than sick.

# Jedward's big adventure! #