Hadrian's Wall Jedward's Big Adventure

Two famous twins. One ancient wall. And a very big adventure!

-Jedward are about to bring the Romans back to life.

-Attention!

And surprise a group of sightseers with a tour they'll never forget.

SCREAMING

There can be only one winning guide.

-So who will reign as Supreme Emperor?

-Emperor Hadrian!

And who will face a freezing forfeit? Let battle commence!

-Rarrrr!

-Ah, scary.

# Come with us, there's so much to discover

# Crazy adventures with me and my brother

# We'll dig up things that will freak you out

# This is Jedward's Big Adventure!

# We're your tour guides, there's so much to do

# There's a whole planet out there, and it's just for you

# You never know what you'll find, it will mess with your mind

# It's a hair raiser, trail blazer, totally wild

# Jedward's Big Adventure! #

Fire!

Jedward are on a mission to visit our biggest attractions.

And compete against each other to become the best tour guide.

-Each with help from a celebrity friend.

-Do I look like a raven?

Now it's time to find today's location.

-John, are we nearly there yet?

-No.

-John, are we nearly there yet?

-Edward, stop asking that.

We're not nearly there, and when we're there, I'll tell you.

Edward, I think we're here.

Well done, boys. They've found today's assignment.

Hadrian's Wall is the UK's largest ancient monument.

And for 2,000 years, it's cut Northern England in half

from coast to coast.

We came all this way for some wall? We have four walls in our bedroom!

It's not just any wall... It's this week's mission!

Let's see what it says.

-Dear Jedward.

-In 24 hours' time you will each have to give

a group of tourists a guided tour of this ancient wall.

Whoever gives the best tour will get to be a Roman emperor. Cool!

But whoever loses will have to face a freezing forfeit

called the Frigidarium!

-Let's call some celebrities.

-You're right.

-I've no bars!

-Don't worry, I see two ramblers.

Wait a second, that's not two ramblers -

that's Andy Akinwolere and Johny Pitts!

Andy, John! Help us! we need your help.

-John...

-Guys!

Take the binoculars off. We're right here.

Sorry, it was the binoculars.

Awesome, you guys are like, life-savers!

What do you guys know about this massive wall here?

Well, it's Hadrian's, and it's a wall as well.

OK. We're going to go ask an expert. You guys relax, we'll get the facts.

So the boys' challenge is simple.

They have one day to find out about Hadrian's Wall, before tomorrow,

when they'll compete against one another to be the best guide.

Each assisted by a celebrity helper.

John will team up with Andy, and Edward will have Johny.

-John, do you know where you're standing?

-No.

You're standing in Roman remains.

First they're off to a section of the wall called Sycamore Gap.

To meet Gary, a man who can tell them a lot about the wall.

There he is - hi, Gary.

We've come all this way for a wall? Better be the best wall ever.

This is Hadrian's Wall.

-Who's Hadrian?

-This guy is a Roman emperor.

Why did he build this wall?

Because this is the northern frontier of the Roman Empire.

The wall was six metres high and three metres thick -

and it wasn't just a wall, there was milecastles every mile,

there was watchtowers stationed in between them,

and 16 forts to house all the Roman soldiers.

But don't think you can go around Hadrian's Wall.

This ran for 80 Roman miles, right across the entire country.

-Edward!

-Got to build a wall!

Do you think we should build a massive Jedward Wall?

It took 15,000 Roman legionaries to build this one.

You got that many friends to help you?

-400,000 followers on Twitter.

-You might need a couple more.

So the boys are so impressed by the wall, they want one themselves.

Now they're off to the remains of a fort,

to find out about Roman soldiers.

Were the Roman soldiers from space, were they from the ocean...?

They're coming all the way round the Mediterranean basin,

from regions which are now Germany, Holland, France,

Spain, Syria, Bulgaria, Hungary, and even North Africa.

Though of course, being part of the Roman army,

it was important that they all spoke Latin.

United under the Roman flag,

these soldiers all fought side by side against their enemy,

the barbarians.

I think I see a barbarian!

That's not a barbarian, that's a cow. Or is it a sheep, a goat?

-No, it's a cow.

-It's a sheep.

Tomorrow, the boys will be guiding tourists around here themselves,

each assisted by a celebrity helper.

I think it's all to play for, really. You know you're going down.

It's on. Regardless of which twin we've got, I'm going to win.

-We might be friends, but this is a battle.

-Yeah, today we're enemies.

So the battle lines are drawn.

The team who gets the most correct facts across to the tourists, wins.

Here we are in a house which has produced evidence

-of spinning and weaving.

-Cool!

-Moving on. Let's go.

Success depends on Jedward remembering

everything they find out today.

This next place should make an impression.

Can you guess what it is?

-A swimming pool?

-You wouldn't want to swim in this.

-This is a latrine.

-What's that?

-A toilet.

This is a toilet? It doesn't look like a toilet.

It's one big toilet for lots of people

and there is no doors between them.

-That would be so smelly!

-It would be, but there's more to it than that.

Romans didn't have toilet paper.

They used a sponge on the end of a stick.

It was called a spongia.

And when you finished using it,

you gave it a rinse in a bit of water

and then passed it on for somebody else to use.

Which may explain the expression,

you've got the wrong end of the stick.

-That's sick!

-I know, it's so sick! That's totally barbarian.

Clearly, the boys are shocked by the shared facilities,

but this is a story the boys will need to recreate tomorrow.

Imagine going into a public toilet, not knowing anyone,

and just going to the toilet?

I don't even like sharing toys! Come on!

-John, I hope I get this. I'll make poo-sticks!

-I want to do that!

-No, I'm doing it!

-I want to do it!

-I make loads of poo-sticks.

-I'm doing it!

-I want to do it.

-I'm doing it!

-I know for a fact...

-I want to do it.

-I hope I get it.

Relax, boys. There's no point fighting over poo-sticks.

They'll find out later which of today's six stories

they will be recreating for their tours tomorrow.

Next up, it's time to go to the Roman baths.

Why are the baths so important in Roman history?

The reason why baths are important and that people have showers is

to make sure they don't smell. Cos if you smell, people won't hug you.

People won't say "hey" to you.

Now they are off to meet Roman bath expert Chris.

And I thought Jedward's outfits were a little over the top.

All right, Chris?

-What's up? I'm John.

-I'm Edward.

-Together, we are Jedward.

-What are you?

-I am a Roman Centurion.

-It's a leader of men in the Roman army.

-And you have really cool hair.

We are so excited cos we feel like be fit in loads. What is this place?

This is a Roman bath house,

where the Roman soldiers go through the Roman bathing sequence.

Cool, and how many baths are here? Loads?

It's a series of rooms that you would go to,

rather like a modern Turkish bath. After the Romans had changed,

they went straight into the sudatorium, the sweating room.

An incredibly hot room with warm air from the furnace being

pumped through the walls, floor, and ceiling.

Then it was into the caldarium,

where hot steam would open up the pores.

Then they would cover themselves in cleaning oils,

and then scrape them with a blunt knife, or strigil.

Finally finishing off with a bracing plunge

into the water of the frigidarium.

-What's a frigidarium?

-A frigidarium is a cold plunge bath.

-Really cold?

-Yes, indeed.

-10 out of 10 cold?

-Yes.

-Ice, ice baby cold?

-Indeed.

# Ice, ice, baby cold. #

So Jedward have now discovered the forfeit

for losing tomorrow's tour.

It's a bracing dip in the cold bath.

-I'm not going in the frigidarium.

-I'm not going in the frigidarium!

-I don't care, I'm not going there.

-I'm not going, either.

-No, I know I'm not going, cos you are going to lose!

-I'm not going in.

-How can I if you're going in?

-You're going in, you're going to lose.

-Where did Chris go?

-Where's Chris? Where did he go?

Chris! Chris!

He must have gone in the frigidarium.

Actually, he has gone to gather up his troops.

Because now, it's time for Jedward to join the Roman army.

What's up! Grrraaaagh!

I'm Soldier John.

I'm Soldier Edward.

Together, we are Soldier Jedward. We're the best soldiers around.

Why was the Roman army so successful?

Because of its organisation and discipline.

The ordinary soldier looks like this chap here. You can see

he has a big helmet to protect his head.

-What's this? This shield?

-This shield is called a scutum.

So, in battle, how would he protect himself?

If I was coming at him like this?

The soldiers would form themselves into a square.

Those at the front and edges would cover their sides,

whilst the troops in the middle held their shields

over their heads to form a hard protective shell.

This enabled them to withstand any enemy bombardment,

before launching an attack of their own.

And what did they call this formation?

The testudo, or in English, the "tortoise".

-Edward, I want to be a Roman soldier.

-Let's do this.

Tomorrow, the boys must demonstrate how the Romans were the most

powerful fighting army of their time.

Just like these guys.

-Get them!

-Come on, guys, you are warriors, you are bears!

Now they've seen how it's done, it's time to find out

if they have got what it takes.

No, that's not right.

You need to use your shield and get stuck in with the shield.

Try and knock him off balance. Get stuck in.

Use your shields more! Use your shields!

Push each other, push, push, push!

One day, we'll be the best soldiers the world has ever seen.

Well, with practice, anything is possible, I suppose.

Now it is time for Jedward's final fact on today's voyage of discovery.

Two centuries ago,

the Roman fort of Vindolanda was an impressive settlement.

Now, its ruins are a fantastic place for archaeological buried treasure.

We are here on an archaeological dig. Cute outfit, Edward.

What do you think of your boots?

It is the first time I've ever worn boots.

But today is really cold and could get muddy, so I've got to look good.

-What's up? I'm John.

-I'm Edward.

-What's your name?

-I'm Justin. I'm an archaeologist.

-Why is archaeology so important?

The cool thing about it, is that you find things that people

dropped in the soil 2,000 years ago.

How is it buried? Is it like one day, a massive mud wall came on top of it?

In Roman times, just like today, buildings would get old

and need to be demolished to make room for new ones.

After knocking down a structure, the Romans would lay down

a layer of clay or turf before the new building was put up.

That layer protected anything lost underneath it,

creating the perfect conditions for preservation

and leaving us with a hoard of treasure to unearth.

The most famous thing to have been found at the site

are writing tablets. That's what they looked like.

-What does it say?

-That one says, Flavius Cerialis.

That was the commander here

and he was in charge of around 750 soldiers.

So that's it. Jedward have been given

all the facts that they need to know for their tours tomorrow.

So it's time to head back to Jedward HQ,

and meet up with their celebrity assistants,

and discover which stories they are going to have to recreate.

-OK, let's work back. See what we got.

-OK.

-How the wall was built.

I made these bricks out of polystyrene.

Let's get the crazy tourists to build the wall out of these.

They aren't heavy, they don't hurt. They're made of polystyrene.

That actually hurt a little bit.

Tomorrow OK, we have got to cover these topics. First one, Barbarians.

-You can be a Roman.

-Oh, right. This is a special hat(!)

-I can be a barbarian, going raaah!

-Do you like going to the toilet?

Er, yes, when I need to.

-All they had was this.

-Yes.

-And a sponge.

-I'll be the barbarian tomorrow, OK?

-OK.

-I'll put all this cool wig.

Then I'll put all these rags on. Look at me, I'm a barbarian!

So you are dressed up as an emperor, right?

-And you've got me cleaning toilets, is that how it goes?

-Yeah.

-All ready?

-Yeah, ready.

-Awesome.

I didn't get any of that, but let's do it.

-I'm John, you're Andy, and together, we are... Jandy.

-Well done.

Planning over, the teams need a good night's sleep.

Night, night, boys.

ALARM CLOCK

Morning! It's 7.00am on day two.

And a group of unsuspecting tourists have just arrived at Hadrian's Wall.

They have absolutely no idea

that Jedward are about to be their guides.

We go out there, "What's up, guys?

"You're not going to get normal tourist guides, you're going to get

-"us and Andy and Johny."

-Teamwork, yeah?

It's time for a huge surprise.

-What's up, guys!

-What's up!

-I'm John.

-I'm Edward.

-Together, we are Jedward.

We are going to be giving you guys

a tour of Hadrian's Wall and all cool things.

-Are you excited?

-Yeah.

We're going to select two teams.

I'm Team John and he's Team Edward.

And we got two celebrity friends. Andy Akinwolere and Johny Pitts!

-Just like Brad Pitt! There he is!

-Hello, how are we?

-Before me and Andy start, I'm John.

-I'm Andy.

-And together we are Jandy!

-He's Johnny and I'm Edward...

-And together we are...

-Jedward, still.

-Are you ready for an action-packed amazing day?

GROUP: Yeah!

-Let's go, crazy tourists!

-Let's go do this!

So this is it. It's time for Jedward's tour of Hadrian's Wall.

To decide the winning team, the tourists will face a test

at the end of the day, so each team must deliver the correct facts.

First up, it's Edward and Johny,

and they have the difficult task of explaining who built the wall.

-Come on, soldier!

-Hang on, Edward.

-This is heavy, you know!

-I'm Hadrian, not Edward! I'm Emperor Hadrian!

I want these tourists to take me serious!

-You look dead serious, honestly.

-This is a tunic!

It looks like it. Definitely not a dress!

Why are you standing like that? Stand up straight!

-Is that OK, Emperor?

-Yeah.

Good. So, Team J-Edward are going all out with a dress-up performance.

They must make the tourists remember how long the wall is in Roman miles.

It's a very special day at Hadrian's Wall today

because we have got a celebrity from the Ancient Times with us.

-He is the Emperor.

-Emperor Hadrian.

I built this wall in 122 AD.

It's an incredible wall. It runs for 73 miles,

that's 80 Roman miles.

80 Roman miles! How many Roman miles?

GROUP: 80 Roman miles.

Do you want to help me build it back to its final glory?

GROUP: Yes!

You all build a wall while I stand here and look cool.

-It wasn't like this when we built the wall, Emperor.

-Good old days.

This wall can't withstand that. Build it much stronger!

DING!

Very impressive, Roman soldiers. Let's see if it withstands the wind.

What is this?!

-That's awful.

-Not good enough!

Get out of here!

Excellent performance, Edward.

Now, it's over to Jandy,

who are determined not to be outdone on the dressing-up.

Rarrrr!

Oh! For their first tour, they'll need to tell the tourists

who the wall was designed to keep out.

Woooo!

And their tactic is to mention the word "Barbarian"

as many times as possible.

Now, the reason we built this wall, to keep out those Barbarians.

Stinky, smelly, ill-mannered, unlike us Ro...

Roman! I threw my ball over! Can I have my ball back?

Talking about Barbarians...

There's one right now.

-Give me my ball back!

-Take your ball. Go on, off you go.

Barbarians for life! Raaaar!

Who wants to be a Barbarian, and who wants to be a Roman?

Barbarians, get to the other side of the wall.

-Barbarians are the best! Go, barbarians!

-Come on.

Well, they've certainly hammered home the key fact,

but it doesn't stop there.

John's painting "B" for "Barbarian" on the tourists' faces.

M. Mummy Barbarian.

Rarrrr!

B-B-B-BARBARIAN!

OK, troops, line up!

Oh, no!

Hey, Roman! Can we have our b-b-ball back?

BALL BURSTS

EVIL LAUGHTER

Team Jandy's performance was impressive.

But what do the tourists think?

They got the facts more in.

It's really good. I liked it.

Now it's back to Team Edward.

They need to explain the story of the Roman loo,

and they've gone for a simple approach with only one prop -

the poo-stick.

Who needs to use the toilet? I really, really have to go!

Don't worry, because we are actually now standing in an ancient toilet,

-which is called...

-A latrine.

And guys, at the time, they had no toilet paper, OK?

They had this. It was called a sponge stick.

To use the Latin term, this was called a spongia, just simply that.

-You need to clean yourself, yeah, right there, all over.

-Uuurgh!

This one was actually used at the time.

THEY LAUGH

It was a communal toilet, and they would have sat here,

gone to the toilet...

-Sound effects...

-FARTING

-Yeah.

-And you know what, guys?

They used the same spongia between all the people that were in here.

Yeah, it was pretty gross.

We want to give you a little souvenir.

These are made by me, these are works of art. Spongias for everyone!

There you go.

Next time you run out of toilet paper, you use your spongia.

Get yours now for £9.99.

Oh!

THEY LAUGH

I just hit a girl in the face. Sorry, you're really, really cool.

Oops! It was going so well, as well.

Until Edward threw one of his poo sticks into a tourist's face.

John and Andy's next story is the Roman bath.

They're planning to bring the experience back to life with, um...

a few dressing gowns and some buckets of water.

-Are you sure this is a good idea?

-It's a very good idea.

-Just get your facts right.

-Are you sure it's a good idea?

-Yes.

Remember, think like a winner, be a winner.

Great positive mental attitude, team.

The tourists are on their way for their first Roman spa treatment.

Welcome to the Roman bath house!

We are going to be your spa attendants today.

Are you guys excited?

ALL: Yes!

All they need to do is successfully get across the name of the device

-used for scraping off oils.

-HE LAUGHS

And John's volunteered for this mucky demonstration.

Wait a sec... THEY LAUGH

GIRLS SCREAM

Dull subject!

Once the oils have been applied, we shall scrape them off with the...

-Strigil - what's it called?

-What's it called?

-ALL: Strigil.

-So I shall...

-JOHN SCREAMS

-No, no, come here!

OK, once we've done that, we need to reopen those pores

-by applying some hot water...

-What?

-..in the lipidarium.

-No, no, not my hair!

-Oh no!

Whoopsie!

-Wha? No!

-We need to take the gentleman to the frigidarium...

-No way! No!

-..and apply some cold water.

-Ooh... Ahh...

-So cold!

We seem to have run out of water.

-THEY SCREAM

-Yes.

-How do you feel now, sir?

-I feel so cold!

-But do you feel cleansed?

HE SOBS Yes.

Good show! John certainly got a full-on Roman spa experience.

But did all that drenching distract the tourists from the key facts?

The winning team will be the one

that makes the tourists remember the most.

Now it's time for Team Edward's final story - the Roman army.

They've got a madcap demonstration planned,

and they've certainly got into character. Well, Edward has.

Ten-shun!

We are legionnaires...

Sorry, I've got a pebble in my sandal and it's really awkward.

Oh, dear, not the best start.

But all they need to do

is make the tourists remember the name of the shields. In Latin. Easy.

When we'd go into war, what we'd do is we'd use our scutums.

It's a Latin name for a shield. What is it?

ALL: Scutum!

-You put a bunch of them together to create what is known as...

-A turtle!

No! It's actually called a tortoise!

Oh, dear! Bit of confusion about the name of the formation there.

Now, we want to see if you can form a good tortoise.

Are you ready for the challenge? ALL: Yes!

That's right, remember what you're doing here.

It's supposed to look like the shell of a tortoise.

Pull yourselves together, men! And girls.

Now, we want to see you guys move!

MUSIC: "I Like To Move It" by Reel 2 Real

What we're going to do to you now could be very, very serious.

Yeah, serious!

What we doing?

We're throwing water balloons!

Take that, enemies!

Get them!

You shall be defeated!

Let's see if any of you got wet,

and if you did, you would have been killed.

-They're alive! They're alive!

-No, I can see some wet ones, they're dead.

Dead, dead. You're all dead, it's just me and you, Ed.

-To live forever!

-Let's go.

Team J-Edward certainly put the tourists through their paces,

but all that water pelting may have distracted them from the facts.

We did get, like, wet, and stuff. But it was really good. I liked it.

Now, it's over to John and Andy for their final story.

They need to explain about archaeology,

and they have a plan which they think will deliver results.

I want to make it fun for the tourists, OK?

We're going to bury these. All things Jedward.

-Are these Jedward branded goods?

-Yes.

They need to tell the tourists what were the most famous items

to be dug up at Vindolanda.

The most important thing that was found here was Jedward stuff.

-No, it wasn't, it was the Vindolanda tablet.

-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-The Vindolanda tablet.

-The what? ALL: Vindolanda tablet!

-We came up with an awesome idea...

-We did.

-..of burying Jedward stuff.

-Here are...

-Your tools.

-Here you go.

-Enjoy. Go for it.

-Hairspray!

-It's Jedward hairspray! Wooo!

-Hairdryer!

-Oh, oh...!

Unearthing all the Jedward treasure seems like a hit with the tourists.

-But were the facts also buried in the chaos?

-Go, go, go!

Well, we'll find out soon enough,

as both teams have now completed their tours.

Guys, you guys have been awesome. Wow! It was totally cool.

Save our lives and hope we don't get that forfeit, yeah?

So, it's the moment of truth.

Have the tourists learned all those vital facts?

B for Barbarian.

Or were the togas and poo-sticks too much of a distraction?

-Ow!

-Oh no!

It's time to find out as the tourists take the big test.

What did the Romans call the tribes

-who lived on the other side of the wall?

-Barbarian!

Barbarians.

They're being asked one question on each of the stories.

-Whoopsie!

-For each correct answer,

there's a point in it for the team that told that story.

What did they call their shields?

Scutum.

And the team with the most points will win...

BALL BURSTS

..while the losers will face an icy cold bath in the frigidarium.

The test is now over. It's time to reveal the final score.

Results are in for Jedward's Big Adventure at Hadrian's Wall.

It's a draw, with both teams scoring 32 points each.

-What?!

-What?!

-What?!

-What?!

For the first time on Jedward's Big Adventure, it's jedlock!

Both teams have scored the same,

so it all comes down to a vote from the tourists

as to which team they thought was the best guide.

And the winners, with nine points against three...

are...

-..John and Andy.

-THEY CHEER

Yay! Yay!

The losers need to prepare for the frigidarium.

No...

-Yes.

-No...

-You guys are going into the frigidarium, ooh!

-It's going to be so cold!

-While the winners will be crowned emperors.

BOTH: Yes!

So it's another victory for John.

He's won three shows, while Edward has won two.

John and Andy now take their prize.

-I'm Emperor John.

-I'm Emperor Andy.

And together we are... BOTH: Emperor Jandy!

-Woo!

-Hey, where are those slaves?

Slaves! Slaves!

-Slaves! You guys smell so bad!

-Get in the frigidarium, go on!

-Get in the frigidarium!

-So...cold...

-Get inside the bath!

So cold!

Down, slaves!

This is just boiling hot, it's...

EDWARD SCREAMS AND WHIMPERS

Slaves, revolt! Run!

EDWARD SCREAMS

SHOUTING AND SCREAMING

-INDISTINCT

-What are you doing?

Run!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd