The Split League of Super Evil


The Split

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Work those legs. Come on!

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Sprint like your life depended on it.

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Like you're being chased by a pack of wild dingo.

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I'm workin' it. I'm workin' it.

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Do you feel the burn?

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Oh yeah, I feel the burn.

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Come on. Do you feel it?

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BREATHES HEAVILY

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I feel it!

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I feel the burn! I feel the...

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Argh!

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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Huh?

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THEY SQUEAL

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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If all goes according to plan, this invention of mine

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will usher in a new age of evil!

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CHUGGING AND CHURNING

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YELPS AND SCREAMS

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Doktor Frogg.

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What lame experiment of yours is interrupting my thinking time?

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I was just putting the finishing touches

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on my most diabolical plan EVER!

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I hardly think it competes with my newest creation.

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The Wadclogger 3000!

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Pah! As if your plan could possibly be better than mine.

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Yes, it could!

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No, it couldn't!

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-Yes, it could.

-No, it couldn't.

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I know, let's have a vote.

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Excellent idea, Red Menace.

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After you and Doomageddon choose my superior scheme,

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I can try out my new and improved victory dance.

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I've added the splits and a couple of sassy hand gestures.

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Argh.

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We pledge to be fair and impartial. Right, Doomageddon?

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HE GRUNTS

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Oh, well, yes, by all means, show us this most brilliant plan of yours.

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All right. Get this!

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It's a sign.

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And you stick it on someone's back without them knowing.

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Hee, and this is the best part. The sign says...

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HE GIGGLES

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"Kick me."

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HE LAUGHS

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Get it? Kick me!

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CRICKETS CHIRP

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NERVOUS CHUCKLE

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With my Wadclogger 3000 we can clog all the toilets in the city

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with the flip of a single switch.

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Pah! That's a terrible plan.

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-It'll never work!

-Oh yeah? Well...

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Uh-uh-uh, time to vote. Red...

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Ah, er...

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Er...ah...oh...

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Ah...I...I...I can't decide! I vote for both of you.

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HE GRUNTS

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Vote for me! Vote for me. Me, me, me, me!

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-Vote for me. For me, for me.

-Oh come on! Vote for me.

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-Me, me, me. Me. Me.

-Vote for me!

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HE GIGGLES NERVOUSLY

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VICTORY!

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BUZZER

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BELL DINGS

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Yes! I win.

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What? You think his plan is more evil than mine?

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HE GRUNTS

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HE WHISTLES

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HE CHUCKLES

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You know, I am tired of carrying this operation,

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I am tired of my evil plans going unappreciated,

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and I am tired of... Well, frankly, I'm just tired.

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HE YAWNS

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I...QUIT!

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Look, if Voltar's gone, that makes me the leader!

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So much evil to do and so little time.

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HE LAUGHS

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# League Of Super Evil. #

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BUZZING

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DISTANT SIRENS BLARE

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Ah! This is the life, Roachy.

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Oh sure, maybe my new lair needs a little work...

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..but at least I have my health.

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And a good hot meal.

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BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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TRAITOR! Argh. Peuw.

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My new lair now has TWO levels.

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Er, Voltar...

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It's Red.

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Ah, it's good to see you, Red.

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But I don't have time for idle chit-chat.

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Plenty of evil plans to hatch, you know.

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It's...great to see you're doing well.

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Quitting the league was the best thing I ever did.

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I have a new lair, the neighbours cower in fear when they see me...

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BANGING

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'Hey! Keep it down up there.'

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..and I've even been working out.

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HE GRUNTS AND GROANS

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Anyways, thanks for stopping by.

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Be sure to tell Frogg how great I'm doing.

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Er, do you need help getting your arms...

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No. I'll be fine.

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Yep. I'll be...perfectly fine.

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ELECTRICITY CRACKLES

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FROGG CLEARS HIS THROAT

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Attention, citizens...

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BEEPING

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..your day of reckoning has arrived.

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If you do not meet my demands

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I will use my Wadclogger 3000

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to clog every single toilet in the world.

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Great. Now they're gonna have to give in to your demands.

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Hey, what are your demands?

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A zillion dollars?

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Er, oi, I never really thought about it.

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How about a Ferris wheel?

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-I don't know.

-A pony?

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-Pony?

-A year's supply of pudding?

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-Tickets to Evil On Ice?

-What's a what?

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-Comic book organiser?

-What about a who?

-Clowns?

-What?

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-A lot of clowns?

-I don't know.

-HELICOPTER WHIRRS

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All right in there. Let's not do anything hasty.

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Step away from the clogger and let's negotiate.

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HE WHIMPERS

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'Although we have yet to confirm the source of these images,

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'it appears the evil mastermind is cowering inside a box.'

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Hmm.

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Not so easy is it, Frogg?

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BANGING ON DOOR

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I told you the rent is in the mail.

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Voltar! You've got to come back.

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Frogg's in way over his head.

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Yes, I can see that.

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He's having a total meltdown.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Please come home!

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Not until Frogg admits that I am the best evil tyrant on the block -

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no, the world.

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But, Voltar, Frogg...

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Wait right here.

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Come on, in there.

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We don't have all day. What are your demands?

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Shouldn't have had that extra-jumbo cola fizz.

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I've really gotta go to the little general's room.

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Eep, what to I do? What do I say?

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Here, look into the camera and read this.

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'I demand an atomising atomiser ray.

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-'Psst, Frogg.

-Oh, right, yes, oh.

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'Er, and a hover tank and all the gold in the city

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'and, er, Voltar is the best evil tyrant on the block - no, the world.

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'What? W-w-w-what?'

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I'm glad he came to his senses.

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All right, I'll bail you out, Frogg.

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Just so I can say, "I told you so."

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# League Of Super Evil. #

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We'll never get all that gold in time.

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See if you can stall him.

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I've got more urgent business.

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Oh, being in charge is so stressful.

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I wish I hadn't won the vote.

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Welcome to my world, Doktor.

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Voltar!

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-Argh!

-Pull yourself together, Frogg.

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-Voltar?

-Red, Doomageddon.

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Let's give the world a demonstration of our power.

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Activate...the Wadclogger!

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Holy hand grenade!

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No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

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Ar-r-r-r-r-rgh!

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That's why I'm leader.

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Now, watch me make some REAL demands.

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Are you the man who clogged my toilet?

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That's right. And there will be a lot more where that came from

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if you don't meet our demands.

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We just need a little more time to get the gold.

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And the atomising atomiser ray.

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That too.

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Ah, forget about those. What we really want are the following...

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Jenkins!

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HE GIGGLES

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One edible cotton-candy teddy bear.

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Wow.

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One Dimwit's Guide To Being An Evil Mastermind.

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Woo... Hey, wait a minute.

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A lifetime supply of dog biscuits made from depleted Uranium.

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And last, but not least,

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I demand that you and your army wear...

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Voltar, Number One Evil Mastermind T-shirts.

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CRICKETS CHIRP

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THEY MUMBLE

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Er, yeah, yeah, OK.

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Er, sure, sure.

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You can have all that, but I draw the line at T-shirts.

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Deal.

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-Yoink.

-Pleasure doing business with such an evil mastermind.

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GENERAL CHUCKLES

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You see, Frogg? That's how you negotiate.

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Yes, Voltar.

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FROGG GIGGLES

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Victory! Hee-he-hee!

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VOLTAR GIGGLES

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Hey! How did I...?!

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Who keeps...?

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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