Mr and Mrs Bandango League of Super Evil


Mr and Mrs Bandango

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Transcript


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Into the escape pod!

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THEY SCREAM

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Woohoo! League Of Super Evil - one, killer bunny - zero.

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Er, make that one.

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Um...12.

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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Huh?

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HE GIGGLES

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Greetings, puny viewers, and welcome to Voltar's safari adventure.

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For days, I, the great Voltar, have led an expedition

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through this wild and untamed forest

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to be the first to capture a legend,

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the fierce and terrifying...Bandango!

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# Dun-dun-dun! #

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HE GIGGLES

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Wait! I hear something.

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Could it be the legendary Bandango?

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Roar.

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Argh! Bandango! I'll save you, Voltar.

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Cut!

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Urgh, for the 37th time, Red Menace,

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it's just Frogg in a Bandango costume.

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FROGG GROANS

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Can't be too careful with Bandangos around.

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Bandangos are not real!

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THUD!

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CHILD LAUGHS

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They certainly wouldn't hang out in a city park if they were.

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I want to go home. This is ridiculous.

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Urgh, if, by "ridiculous", you mean brilliantly evil,

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then, yes, Frogg, making a fake documentary

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about the terrifying Bandango to fool the city

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into thinking it exists and then yelling,

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"Ha-ha, I fooled you all!" is ridiculous.

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Now, places, everyone. The League Of Super Evil

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has an evil fake documentary to shoot.

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EVIL LAUGH

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THUD!

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Urgh, I'll be in the bushes.

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Greetings, puny viewers,

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and welcome to Voltar's safari adventure.

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For days, I...

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SCREAMING

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Sweet sand in the bathing suit, this thing is itchy.

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And...slimy?

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GROWLING

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HE STAMMERS IN FEAR

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Wait! I hear something.

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SCREAMING

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Wait. Hold on a second.

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Could this be the legendary Bandango?

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CLEARS THROAT

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I said, could this be the legendary Bandango?

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It's a cute, cuddly bunny.

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Maybe a real Bandango ate him.

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That lazy Frogg ditched us and his evil Bandango impersonating duties.

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But Frogg's forgetting he's dealing with an expert tracker here.

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Time to put this safari hat rental to good use.

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Get a shot of this, Red.

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I got the shot, Voltar.

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Hmm, oh, what?

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Urgh, feeling a little bit more upside-down than usual.

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HE SCREAMS

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BANDANGO!

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HE SCREAMS AND CRIES

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Don't eat me. I'm skin and bones and metal.

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I just oiled my claws. I haven't bathed in a week.

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HE SOBS

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What? What?

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Oh. Oh! No, no, no. This is all just a big misunderstanding.

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It, it, it's just a costume.

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I'm no Bandango. I'm no Bandango!

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HE SCREAMS

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My loyal smell hound has led us directly to Frogg...

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I mean the Bandango's hiding place

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where I have laid a trap for the beast.

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Now to lure out the beast with a Bandango call.

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VOLTAR HOWLS

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HOWL ECHOES

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Huh? What? Oh, oh, Voltar.

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Oh, they've come to save me. I'm here!

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Bleurgh! Urgh!

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Red, camera.

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GRRR!

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Ha-ha! Gotcha!

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Thought you could get away, eh, Frogg?

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Voltar, that's not Frogg!

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I think you caught a REAL Bandango.

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Tut-tut, don't be ridiculous, Red.

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This, my friend, is the...er...

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all too common, North American black-footed ape bear.

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BANDANGO ROARS

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VOLTAR SQUEALS

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THUD!

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Got the shot.

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Er, dinner was nice, but I really should get going, you know.

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I've got to alphabetise my bacteria collection. Hee-hee, yeah.

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SHE CHUCKLES

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Oh, just look at that lazy Frogg.

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He'd enjoy a boat ride with that ape bear

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than co-star in our evil fake-umentary,

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but not for long.

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EVIL LAUGH

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HE GASPS

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Doktor Frogg's bazooka. Did the Doktor say you could use that?

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Huh? What? Did you say something, Red?

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VOLTAR SCREAMS

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Not my bazooka! I've got to get out of here.

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I'm DOOMED!

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You...you saved me.

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Did I...get him?

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VOLTAR SQUEALS

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SPLASH!

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Got the shot.

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# League Of Super Evil. #

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FROGG GIGGLES

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I can't believe it. Voltar used one of my inventions against me

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and I wasn't horribly maimed or injured.

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And I owe it all to you.

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WHIRRING

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FROGG SCREAMS

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My horrendously, dangerously experimental magnet planes!

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VOLTAR GIGGLES

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FROGG SCREAMS

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SHE GASPS THEN GROWLS

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Your lazy days are over, Frogg.

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Time to get back to work, ha-ha!

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Are you getting this, Red?

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Well, I'm trying, but that ape bear keeps getting in the shot.

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What?

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You're like my own personal level three plasma shield upgrade.

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Like a...a big mean hairy bodyguard.

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VOLTAR LAUGHS MENACINGLY

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You're mine now, Frogg-dango!

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ROAR!

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GRRR!

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FROGG SQUEALS

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Ha-ha!

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I'm invincible!

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VOLTAR GRUMBLES

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You see, with this lovestruck Bandango by my side,

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I can finally realise my full potential -

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injury-free!

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And nothing can tear us apart.

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RIPPING

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Uh-oh. Typical!

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FROGG SCREAMS

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THUD!

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I fell on my keys.

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Wait, wait, wait. I can explain.

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FROGG NERVOUSLY GIGGLES

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It was all his fault!

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Eeek!

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Ha-ha. Hello, angry ape bear.

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BANDANGO GRUNTS AND GROWLS

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SCREAMING AND GRUNTING

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Adventure, romance, action - this documentary's got everything.

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VOLTAR SQUEALS

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DOOMAGEDDON CHUCKLES

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Don't worry, I got the shot.

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# League Of Super Evil. #

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'We now bring you a special Metrotown action news bulletin...'

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Guys, it's on.

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'The Bandango - urban legend or scientific fact?'

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Humph!

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Shh!

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'The eternal debate was laid to rest today

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'when we received this amateur video.'

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'Roar.'

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VOLTAR LAUGHS

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Ha-ha, I fooled you all!

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The Bandango doesn't exist.

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It was all a fake. A fake! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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FROGG SIGHS

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'Yes, Tom, if we zoom into the upper left corner of the screen

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'next to the guy in the shoddy ape bear costume,

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'you can just make out the blurry shape of an adult Bandango.

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'A truly outstanding scientific discovery.'

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Ah, at least I'll be safe with my memories.

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FROGG SCREAMS

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CRASH!

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DOOMAGEDDON CHUCKLES

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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