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Once Upon a LOSE League of Super Evil

Once Upon a LOSE

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Transcript

LineFromTo

Ooh! He-he.

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All right, there's only one way to settle this.

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Yep.

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BOTH: Draw.

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GASPS

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Oh, boy! A Care Pony's marathon!

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We...we should probably just get a second TV.

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That's probably be best.

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Mwah-ha-ha-ha... Huh?

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-He-he-he.

-Oof!

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-Huh?

-Arrgh!

-Ooof!

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We have with us tonight, original Red Menace,

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here to answer the greatest question of all -

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how did the nefarious League Of Super Evil meet?

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It all started long, long, long...ago

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in a kingdom far, far away.

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Well, actually two blocks away from here at Superhero Kiddie College.

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Hi, Principal Sergeant.

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'I'd been looking forward to the first day of school all summer long.

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'I was sure I'd make tons of new friends.'

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-OK.

-CLEARS THROAT

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Oooh. Yay! Friends.

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THEY LAUGH

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'But my new buddies

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'had a strange way of expressing their friendship...'

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THEY LAUGH

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Wow! Ha. I'm flying.

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You can get started on our homework next.

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Oof. Yay! Homework makes you smarter.

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Glory Kid, Night Light, Wild Girl, let him go!

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It's the hallway monitor!

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BLOWS RASPBERRY

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-Detention!

-Hey!

-Detention and...

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Booyah! Detention.

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You'll pay for this, Voltar.

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This school can be pretty tough for new kids.

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So glorious, so cool...

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-GASPS

-..so tall.

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Helping folks out and fighting injustice is all in a day's work

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for the great...VOLTAR - hallway monitor!

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Wow!

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'Voltar was the most prolific hallway monitor

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'the school had ever seen.

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'Hallway runnings where at an all time low.

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'Tardiness was all but eradicated.

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'He was well on his way to becoming Metrotown's greatest superhero,

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'but that would soon change.'

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'We'll get to that part later.

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'It was during gym class that I met my second friend...'

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GULPS

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You wannabe heroes are going down.

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Foolish balls! I command you to stop.

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Arrgh!

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Ya!

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-I-I surrender.

-Huh?

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You saved me!

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-Reginald Menace.

-Oh...Archibald Frogg.

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Eeeergh!

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GASPS

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It's going to need to cybernetics.

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Throw your ball!

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Oof!

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We won!

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ALL CHEER

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We never lose.

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I'd leave them alone, Glory Kid.

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You won't always have your precious hallway monitor to save you.

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As long as I'm monitoring these halls,

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I'll keep kids everywhere free from your tyranny.

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SCHOOL BELL RINGS

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Ooh! Lunch time!

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GENERAL CHATTER

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THUNDER CLAPS

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Mm-mm! Soggy sandwiches, my favourite.

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Oh! We have our very own doom hound.

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Ruff!

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I hear these things are 100% loyal to their masters.

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Or was that 0%?

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I can tell, we'll be the best of friends.

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'From that day forward, Frogg, Doomageddon and I were inseparable.

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'Little did we know, our group would soon be getting even bigger.'

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'A few weeks later, Principal Sergeant got the entire school

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'together for the Ceremony Of Glory.

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'That's how the school picks the city's next greatest heroes.'

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Hey, what's up, girl? How's it going, boy?

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Hey! Ha-ha-ha.

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'With his spotless hall monitor record, Voltar was a shoe in

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'to make the cut... or so we thought.'

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All right, settle down, heroes. We're here today

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to celebrate the best of the best.

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Soon, some of your classmates will be on their way

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to become full fledged superheroes.

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Pfft, good luck.

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While others will make decent sidekicks or human foot stools

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-or whatever.

-Garrr.

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To introduce this year's inductees into the low legion of glory -

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Glory Dude!

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Ha-haaa!

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Thank you, Principal Sergeant.

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This year's inductees are...

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THEY MUTTER Ahem, me-me-me-me.

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Wild Girl, Night Light and my son, Glory Kid.

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What?!

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Thanks, Dad.

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But...but I'm just, I'm fair, I help everybody.

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Ha! You didn't think you'd actually make it as a superhero, did you?

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What kind of hero wears a helmet?

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And what's that supposed to be, anyway? A moustache?

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It's a skull.

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Ha! A skull?

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THEY LAUGH

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Sorry, kid, you just don't look like a hero.

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-Here you go, son.

-Awesome!

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I can use this to clean the rims on my bike.

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LAUGHTER

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'That day, something in Voltar snapped.'

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Grrr!

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Not fit to be a superhero, huh?

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I'll show them. I'll show all of them!

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I will become a super...

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villain!

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Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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LAUGHTER FADES

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Ooof! Ow, I fell on my keys.

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The next morning, things were very different

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at Superhero Kiddie College.

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'Without hall monitor Voltar to keep them in check,

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'the Little Legion Of Glory were calling the shots.'

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LAUGHS

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Those guys aren't very nice.

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I couldn't agree more, Reginald.

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Oh, wow, you look so dramatic.

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Something must be done about this Little Legion Of Glory.

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Something evil.

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Oh! Can we blast them into oblivion in a hale of proton lasers?

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Hmm, you are obviously new to this whole evil thing.

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I thinking something more along the lines of ruining the big...

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Superhero Super Promo!

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GASPS

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That's the biggest superheroic event of the year!

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But I must warn you, gentlemen, once we start down the path of evil

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there's no going back.

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You...you had me at "evil".

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Let's do this.

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Urrgh!

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Welcome, gentlemen, to the League...Of Super Evil!

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MUSIC PLAYS

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And now the moment you've all been waiting for...

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the super king and queen of the Superhero Super Promo are...

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MUSIC STOPS

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ALL GASP

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Hey! What's the meaning of this?

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My fellow heroes, for too long, Glory Kid and his Little Legion Of Glory

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have spoilt the good name of good for their selfish needs.

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Today I say, no more!

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The time has come for evil to rise!

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LOUD MUSIC STARTS

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Ha-ha! Say hello to my disco friend.

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THEY SCREAM AND SHOUT

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Arrgh!

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Arrrgh!

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-It's making me...dance.

-Arrrgh! Badly!

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Enough getting pushed around.

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Yeah! Besides, this evil thing looks like fun!

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You gotta help us out here, for goodness sake!

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If heroes all act the way you do, then I'd rather be a villain.

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Arrrgh!

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Oof!

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What did we do to deserve this?

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Oh, yeah, the bullying thing, right.

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THEY SCREAM

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VOLTAR GIGGLES

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Mmmm, victory!

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'And, from that day, the League Of Super Evil

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'dedicated itself to the pursuit of evil.

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'Not inviting people to neighbourhood barbecues,

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'and mwah-ha-ha-ing a lot.

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'And that's the story of how the League Of Super Evil met.'

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And the rest, as you know, is history.

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I think Red's practising his flashback again.

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What was that?

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Of course I can tell you about my time in the old country...

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Ahh, and he's getting it all wrong.

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I mean, me, a hall monitor?

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That's just ridiculous.

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GIGGLES NERVOUSLY

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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