Something Wicked Leonardo


Something Wicked

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-We admired your work in Masseto.

-I'm flattered.

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But Florence is a big city. Will your style work here?

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Fear works anywhere.

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Very good.

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Ten thousand florins. That's a lot of money.

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One thousand for you,

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nine thousand to buy weapons. The nastier the better.

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What do you want them for?

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I could tell you, but then I really would have to kill you.

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How am I supposed to paint her if she never looks up?

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Great picture for the groom, the faceless bride.

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She's such a misery guts. I feel sorry for him.

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As I said, I have a church mural to complete out of town,

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but my apprentices will do a fine job.

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-And they're cheap.

-The rest of you,

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hurry up and get your things. You're working with me.

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Fine job? She hasn't got a face.

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-Mi scusi, Signore. We need to get the Signorina to look up.

-Do we?

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Signore, please! It's our fault, we weren't clear in our instruction.

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The payment, Signore. Half now and half upon completion.

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Would you step this way?

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-You can't seriously be marrying that man?

-Tomaso.

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-Leave it.

-This is the 1460s. You can marry who you like.

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Leave me alone and finish your painting.

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Attenzione, imbecille.

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Mac? You all right?

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Do you know him?

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Never seen him before in my life.

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-Look, you go in. I'll be back in a while.

-OK.

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She can't marry him! He's old and hideous and hateful.

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A big fat toad.

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-A big fat bullying toad.

-But it's who her father's chosen.

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Oh, right, so that's OK, is it? We just have to marry any old thing,

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however gross they are. What we want doesn't matter.

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You have to accept the wishes of your parents. What?!

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Oh, because of her arranged marriage thingy.

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She's right. No-one should have to marry him. He's evil.

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His name is Lucio Zangari.

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New in town, but famous in a village called Masseto.

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He lends money and when people can't repay him,

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does terrible things to them and their homes.

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If people borrow money, they should pay it back.

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He beats them, takes everything they own, torches their houses.

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Is that how things work at your daddy's bank, Lorenzo?

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I don't want to work for him. I don't want to paint that girl.

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Petronella Conti. Her father owed him money,

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so Lucio made him an offer - your daughter or prison.

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-Her dad sold her to Lucio?!

-No.

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The father chose prison, but Petronella insisted on the marriage.

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-To save her father.

-Mm-hm.

-So we have to save her.

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-How?

-We have to get the money, pay Lucio back. Then she'll be free.

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-Look, we shouldn't interfere.

-Leo? What if it was me?

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-Tom's right. We can't ignore this. We have to stop him.

-I agree.

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But you lot have to stay out of it. He's dangerous. I'll deal with him.

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-On your own?

-You seem to know a lot about him.

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Are you sure you don't know him?

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-I told you, no.

-Then what's in it for you?

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Oh, you know me, damsel in distress and all that.

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-I live to serve others.

-You're not doing it alone, Mac, no way.

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We're in this together, right?

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Lorenzo?

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-Course.

-We're going to free Petronella.

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-And we're going to make him give back all the money he's taken. Si?

-Si.

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-Have you got a plan?

-No.

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But we can invent one.

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-That's the one.

-Mm-hm.

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THEY CLEAR THEIR THROATS

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Look, a perfect gold bar.

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Good, isn't it? Shall I help with the painting now?

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You're doing such a fantastic job, why not stick with the gold bars?

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Wow. Can't believe you can do this from memory.

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Make the eyes a slightly steelier blue, a bit more cobalt.

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So...sorry, just explain it again. We're going to trick Lucio

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out of his money, by making him think we can turn lead into gold.

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Erm...forgot what it's called.

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-Alchemy?

-Alchemy.

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Hang on, what's with all the forged paintings?

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We need to soften him up, reel him in,

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make him feel he's missed out on a get-rich-quick scheme.

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Then when the next one comes, he'll grab it.

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But we can't let him get close - he'd tell the difference.

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So we need a real gold bar for the alchemy part.

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-Good luck with that!

-LORENZO SNIGGERS

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You know what to do? Make it look like you don't want him to see them.

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Yeah, we know. We're not stupid.

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Presto! They're coming.

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-So I'll see you outside the gallery. Phase two.

-All right.

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Smile, you're getting married.

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Should be on your knees with gratitude, girl.

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I'm rescuing you from your loser of a father.

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Two pictures the same!

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Yeah. Practice pieces.

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Copying the work of great masters in order to improve.

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Signorina's portrait will be finished tomorrow.

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Well, it better be! The wedding's at noon and I want it there.

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Very classy to have a portrait of your bride.

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I want the whole of Florence to see what sort of man I am.

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That'll give them something to look forward to.

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Just get it finished.

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Smile!

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Excuse me, I-I was wondering if you could help us?

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I'm Lorenzo de' Medici. Oh, don't worry about all that, my good man.

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-My friend is an artist...

-Buon giorno.

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..who my family have commissioned

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to do a series of paintings on ancient kings of Rome.

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It would be a real help if we had a real-life model.

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-You, Signore, have a very noble and indeed a very...

-King-like!

-..face.

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Would you mind posing whilst my friend draws a few little sketches?

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Well, er, make it quick.

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You would make a great Tarquinius Priscus.

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He was the fifth king, you know.

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No, don't move! Don't move.

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I've so nearly captured that magnificent nose. Very impressive.

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In a bit more profile...

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Eccellente. Finito.

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Thank you very much. You've been ever so helpful.

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Give the man one of the portraits to show him our gratitude.

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You never know, might be worth a fortune one day!

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That was incredible!

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We stole a painting! When are we putting it back?

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Soon, really soon, Lorenzo.

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Lucio wants the picture at the wedding.

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-If I paint really slowly, I might delay it.

-I wish you could stop it.

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-Maybe we can.

-You know, I wasn't always such a misery guts.

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-No-one said you were.

-I used to make Papa laugh all the time.

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-Once I hid his boots in...

-DOOR OPENS

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The whole of Florence is talking about a stolen painting -

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a masterpiece, the one you did copies of.

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No, you must be mistaken, that was a different painting.

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Don't lie to me, boy. I want a copy...

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to sell as the original.

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You're too late. That's what my boss does. I gave him the copies.

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-Old Viddochio?

-Verrocchio.

-Whatever.

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-No, my real boss. Niccolo Depornado.

-I want to meet him

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and you're going to take me.

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-No. No way. He would kill me.

-And I'll kill you if you don't.

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Be careful of the brocade on the doublet. It snags very easily.

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-Your mama's away in the country with the servants, yes?

-Yes.

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So it's just your dad to keep out of the way.

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Any chance you can get him to show you round the bank?

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Oh, good idea. Papa wants me to take an interest in the family business.

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Good. While you're there you can pinch me a gold bar.

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Living with that pig, day in, day out.

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I couldn't do it. I know I couldn't do it.

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-Well, I love my father.

-So do I. That's not what I'm saying.

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I deserve a life, don't I? My own life.

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I mean, girls...like you...deserve to live your own lives,

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make your own choices.

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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-Master Zangari, Signore.

-Incantato. But I don't remember inviting you.

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-I know what your game is.

-I can't think what you mean.

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Don't give me that lah-di-dah act, just because you got all this.

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You're a crook.

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You're selling forgeries of the stolen painting to art collectors.

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-Very fine people.

-Who think it's real.

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I want in.

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You want my silence, you give me a copy.

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I'm a respected and enormously wealthy member of Florence's elite.

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And you are?

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Well, who are you exactly?

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I've got money. I've got connections.

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The point is, is anyone likely to believe such a story?

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The point is, are you willing to take that risk?

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Well, that's the last one...

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and it's sold,

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which leaves us with a bit of a stand-off.

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All right.

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I'll take a gold bar.

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I'm delighted you're taking an interest in the bank, Lorenzo.

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Erm, it's about time I learned. In a few years I may well be running it.

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Indeed. Well, maybe you should know a little about its illustrious history.

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In 1397, our ancestor, Giovanni di Bicci de' Medici,

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moved the headquarters of his bank to Florence.

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Give him a gold bar.

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It's not like we'll miss one.

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Are you forging gold as well as the paintings?

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-The gold isn't forged.

-What then?

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Maybe I just have the Midas touch.

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We now have branches in all the major cities

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and we operate a general ledger system.

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There's a master book, if you will, in which we, erm...in which we...

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In which we...erm... Would you excuse me for a moment, Lorenzo?

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-What are you doing?

-Em...holding a gold bar.

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Feeling the weight. Letting it inspire me.

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It's worth 5,000 florins. Does that make it seem heavier?

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Erm...no, it weighs as much as it always did.

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Spoken like a Medici!

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-Thank you, Papa.

-Take it, keep it under your pillow.

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Learn the weight, the smell, the texture.

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Real gold smells. Did you know that?

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-Come on. Andiamo.

-Where are we going?

-Home.

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Already? But I was so enjoying the story...

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You need lots of money to make this kind of gold.

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It's way out of your league.

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I told you, I have plenty of money.

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10,000 florins. See?

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-I'm impressed.

-So you should be.

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You leave me no choice.

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There's a scientist.

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She takes molten lead

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and passes it over a stone called lapis philosophorum.

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-Turns lead into gold.

-Alchemy?

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Exactly.

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I thought it was impossible.

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The stone is expensive and rare,

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but each stone can make 30, even 40 gold bars.

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Our buyer for the painting, he's here.

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You need to buy one of the stones

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-for the alchemist to do her magic.

-I told you, no problem.

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Master, the BUYER is at the gates.

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My boy will show you to the alchemist this evening. Now,

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if you don't mind?

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-We're home!

-Lorenzo, why are you shouting?

-Just excited to be back.

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No need to shout about it.

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-Shut those doors, Lorenzo.

-Yes, Father.

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-GOLD BAR CLANGS TO THE FLOOR

-Ow!

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For pity's sake, boy. I tell you to learn its value

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and the first thing you do is drop it!

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-My toe, Father, my poor toe!

-Let's see.

-Oh...

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-Oooh, ow!

-Oh, don't be such a baby.

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It's not broken. You'll live.

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The plate sits deep in the barrel.

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-And you put the clay mould full of lead here, OK?

-Mm-hm.

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And then the plate will spin

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and the clay mould with the gold in it will be on top.

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We really are turning lead into gold.

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Right, I'll do the jokes.

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Whatever happens, we can't lose this gold bar.

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What gold bar?

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Ah-ha-ha-ha!

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-Grazie, Grazie.

-Very good.

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THEY LAUGH

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An exact quantity of lead is heated into liquid.

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LIQUID BUBBLES AND HISSES

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It's... It's pure gold!

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HE LAUGHS

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-Here, make some more.

-I can't.

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This lapis philosophorum is small

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-and its properties are worn away now.

-So how do I get a stone?

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If you have ten thousand florins, my supplier can deliver tomorrow.

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All right. But you just make sure it's a big stone.

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-I thought we could use this for the lapis.

-No, it has to be this one.

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Oh, OK, but I don't know why. Mine's much shinier...

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-Just do as I say, Lorenzo!

-All right, keep your hair on!

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-But can we at least take the stolen painting back now?

-No, not yet.

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It might come in useful.

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Market place, just before noon.

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Man in the bright red jacket.

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You look miserable. Why?

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You're going up in the world. You're marrying me.

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Ah, the happy couple.

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I believe a final payment is due.

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That's me robbed.

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You, be at the church by noon.

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Wait! You forgot the painting!

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She can bring it. I've got business.

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-But it has to be you!

-Why?

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Well, because...

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It's heavy and...

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erm...

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And if Lucio Zangari were to be seen by the priest,

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or the grand people of Florence,

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making his bride carry her own portrait to her own wedding,

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what would they think?

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Don't you ever question me again!

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-You look vile.

-Well, thanks very...

-DOOR OPENS

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Is this him?

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He has the stone, yes.

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-He's a bit young.

-It's a young science.

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If my age prevents you completing the transaction, so be it.

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-No, no, no. I want that stone.

-And I want ten thousand florins.

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HE CHUCKLES

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I'll be back tonight.

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-I think we just did it.

-Ten thousand florins.

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I can explain! This is not the painting I commissioned!

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I commissioned a painting of my wife!

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It's done. He's been arrested.

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For theft.

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Oh, I get it! That's why we hung on to the stolen painting.

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Ding, ding! Give that man a bar of gold!

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-What will happen to him?

-Tried, imprisoned, banished. Who cares?

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He's not got enough money to buy his way out.

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-And speaking of money...

-Of course, there you go.

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-It's all yours.

-I can't thank you enough.

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-That money will rebuild lives, homes...

-Sure will!

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Eight thousand florins goes a long way.

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Actually, Petronella... it's TEN thousand.

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MAC CLEARS HIS THROAT

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So it is.

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Eight, ten, sounds the same when you say it quickly.

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THEY LAUGH

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I don't know what to say. I think you might have saved my life.

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It's worth saving.

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I wish I was more like you. I've never met anyone as good, as brave.

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I'm not brave. Not really.

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We all do extraordinary things for what we love. Especially you.

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Sacrificing who you are for your love of painting.

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-How did you know?

-Don't worry.

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Papa!

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# The door slammed loud and rose up a cloud of dust on us

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# Footsteps follow, down through the hollow sound, torn up... #

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