Who's Been Eating My Porridge? Little Howard's Big Question
Similar Content
Browse content similar to Who's Been Eating My Porridge?. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
OK. | 0:00:01 | 0:00:02 | |
Run it past me just one more time. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
SIGHS | 0:00:05 | 0:00:06 | |
Right. Our computer, who is called Mother, | 0:00:06 | 0:00:10 | |
and who thinks she's my mother, isn't my mum. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:13 | |
The woman who's coming round this afternoon, | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
the one I call my mum, IS my actual mother. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:20 | |
Your mother isn't a computer? | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
How does that work, then? | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
All you need to know is you've got to be on your best behaviour. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:29 | |
What does computer mother think about it? | 0:00:29 | 0:00:32 | |
Mum and mother don't get on. They always try and out-mum each other. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:37 | |
-Is that why Mother's made us packed lunches all week? -Yeah. | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
-And darned the holes in our socks. -Language! -No darned means sewn up. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:45 | |
She's sewn up the holes in our socks. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:47 | |
So that's why I couldn't get my feet in! | 0:00:47 | 0:00:50 | |
Hello, Mother! We're back! | 0:00:53 | 0:00:56 | |
Hello, boys! Your porridge is cooling down, Howard. | 0:00:56 | 0:01:00 | |
Big Howard, yours is still in the pot. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
Hang on! Who's been sitting in my chair? | 0:01:02 | 0:01:06 | |
-I can clearly see two buttock marks in my cushion. -Howard, | 0:01:06 | 0:01:10 | |
no-one would break in to the house just to sit in your chair! | 0:01:10 | 0:01:15 | |
And there's no porridge in here! | 0:01:15 | 0:01:17 | |
-Someone has eaten it! -There's plenty more. I made eight gallons. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:23 | |
There's enough porridge here to swim in. Or submerge your head in. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:27 | |
KLAXON | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
I, Little Howard, have come up with one of my BIG questions. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:33 | |
Who has been eating my porridge? | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
I do wish you wouldn't... Ooh, needs some more nutmeg. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:44 | |
KLAXON | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
-# We love porridge -We love porridge | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
-# We love porridge -We love porridge | 0:01:48 | 0:01:49 | |
# Oh, that lovely-wubbly, lumpy-wumpy porridge | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
-# -Wumpy porridge | 0:01:52 | 0:01:53 | |
-# With its milk -With its milk | 0:01:53 | 0:01:54 | |
-# And its oats -And its oats | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
# I think that if we all ate porridge | 0:01:56 | 0:01:57 | |
# We'd have lovely glossy coats | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
-# Give us porridge -We love porridge | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
# Lots of porridge, you know that it's the porridge we adore | 0:02:01 | 0:02:05 | |
# If my love said that she did not love the porridge | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
# I wouldn't love her any more | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
# Thank you very much! # | 0:02:11 | 0:02:12 | |
GROWLING | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
Ooh, that reminds me of something. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:21 | |
I think it might have been a horror film I saw. Wait. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
Where are you going? Look at the mess! Today of all days! | 0:02:24 | 0:02:28 | |
Leave it to Mother, Muggins. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
Oh, that mad woman who thinks she's your mother called. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:34 | |
-That's my actual mother, Mother. -No. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
I am your mother. She is as potty as monkey poo...in a potty. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:42 | |
It's OK, everyone. Whoever ate my porridge is not sleeping in my bed. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:48 | |
-Worth checking. -What did my mum say? | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
The mad woman said she was coming round at midday. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:54 | |
-I put her straight. -My mum is coming round today. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:57 | |
I've told you that several times and Little Howard.... | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
-Why have you written Mulberry Bush on the wall in jam? -I didn't! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:05 | |
Ooh, didn't you find me under a mulberry bush, Big Howard? | 0:03:05 | 0:03:10 | |
I, er... Yes, but that is beside the point. If you didn't do it, | 0:03:10 | 0:03:14 | |
-who did? -We already know that someone broke in to eat my porridge | 0:03:14 | 0:03:19 | |
-and ransack your bedroom. -Be that as it may, | 0:03:19 | 0:03:23 | |
-I want it cleaned up immed... Ransack my what? -Oh, yes. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:27 | |
-I forgot - someone has ransacked your bedroom. -Why didn't you say? | 0:03:27 | 0:03:32 | |
-Aghhh! -That is hardly important now, Big Howard. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:36 | |
Mother, did you see who ate my porridge? | 0:03:36 | 0:03:40 | |
No. Sorry. I've been too busy being an excellent mother. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:44 | |
You're not jealous of Big Howard's mum, are you, Mother? | 0:03:44 | 0:03:48 | |
Jealous?! Me? Of that daft, lardy... lovely, dear woman | 0:03:48 | 0:03:54 | |
whom I respect and admire? | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
-Thank goodness my sketch pad is safe. -Your what? -Um, not important. | 0:03:56 | 0:04:01 | |
What are we going to have for tea with my mum tonight? | 0:04:01 | 0:04:04 | |
We've more porridge, if she doesn't mind eating it out of your hair. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:08 | |
Which she won't, if she's really your mum - which she isn't. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:13 | |
Oh, look at this! There's a parade of monkeys in the woods at 11.00am. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:19 | |
And a red herring sale. That's in half an hour. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
I'll just put this somewhere safe and maybe have a shower. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:27 | |
You two run along, then. | 0:04:27 | 0:04:29 | |
Don't worry. I've already prepared a special welcome for your "mum". | 0:04:29 | 0:04:34 | |
Big Howard, was that the mulberry bush you found me under? | 0:04:34 | 0:04:38 | |
-No, that's not a mulberry bush. -What about that one? | 0:04:38 | 0:04:42 | |
-Just think about the monkeys. -That one must be a mulberry bush. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:46 | |
What's this mulberry bush business? Is it about where you came from? | 0:04:46 | 0:04:51 | |
-Because it's time I explained... -Ooh, look! Monkey parade! | 0:04:51 | 0:04:57 | |
-I've never had pickled red herrings. Brilliant! -And I love monkeys! | 0:04:57 | 0:05:03 | |
How did they know? | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
Ooh. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:38 | |
I can't see any monkeys round here. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:43 | |
Hello? Monkeys? | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
Aghh! Trapped! | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
Like a mouse! | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
A plastic mouse! | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
Ah! | 0:05:57 | 0:05:58 | |
Little Howard, we meet at last. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:01 | |
Goodness gracious! | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
Here's an ad. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:06 | |
Come to Barry B.Nobo's World of Monkeys, | 0:06:06 | 0:06:09 | |
chimps, gorillas and maybe more! (May not contain monkeys.) | 0:06:09 | 0:06:13 | |
Ride the gorillas, have lunch made for you by an orangutan. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:17 | |
Race a silverback! It's the day out to end all days out. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:21 | |
Especially if you aren't a gorilla. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
Oh! I... You... I... | 0:06:27 | 0:06:30 | |
I've got a big question, Little Howard. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:33 | |
Why can't I be you? | 0:06:33 | 0:06:36 | |
SQUEAKING | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
-There's something wrong with your klaxon. -Shut up! | 0:06:39 | 0:06:43 | |
You're another cartoon boy. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
-You look... -Just like you, I know! | 0:06:45 | 0:06:49 | |
But this is brilliant. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
You are in a cage. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
Yes, I was going to mention that, | 0:06:53 | 0:06:56 | |
but I didn't want to spoil the moment. | 0:06:56 | 0:06:58 | |
Why am I in a cage? | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
Because now it's your turn. I've watched you all my life, | 0:07:00 | 0:07:04 | |
with home-made binoculars, hanging upside-down | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
from a tree in the rain with nostrils full of water. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
I have watched your house clinging to the underside of passing cars. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:15 | |
-Even after they fitted the speed bumps? -Yes. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
-They may calm traffic, but they make me angry! -You must be... | 0:07:18 | 0:07:22 | |
I've just worked it out. You've been eating my porridge! | 0:07:22 | 0:07:27 | |
That was porridge? I thought it was some sort of organic cement! | 0:07:27 | 0:07:31 | |
-I used it to shore up the walls in the games room. -Games room? | 0:07:31 | 0:07:36 | |
-This house is amazing. You're so lucky. -Lucky?! | 0:07:36 | 0:07:40 | |
I had to build it myself out of twigs, porridge and cuckoo spit. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:45 | |
Have you ever tried annoying a cuckoo so much it flobs at you? | 0:07:45 | 0:07:50 | |
-I must admit I haven't. -I'd rather have a proper house like you | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
and a TV show and a proper klaxon. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:56 | |
Mine's made of leaves and pine cones. | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
It sounds like a wasp doing a guff. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
SQUEAKING A lady wasp, at that! | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
You made a klaxon out of leaves and pine cones? That's very clever. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:09 | |
I wondered why I had nothing and you had everything. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:12 | |
Then I thought, "Why don't I take everything that is yours? | 0:08:12 | 0:08:16 | |
"Become you, take over your life and leave you to rot in the woods?" | 0:08:16 | 0:08:21 | |
-What?! -Little Howard! Where are you? | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
Ah, my future is calling me. Farewell! | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
-You'll never get away with this. -I think you'll find I will! | 0:08:26 | 0:08:30 | |
Or my name's not... | 0:08:30 | 0:08:32 | |
FANFARE ..Little Albert. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
Sorry, your name's not Little Albert? | 0:08:35 | 0:08:38 | |
No. My name is Little Albert. Or rather, it was Little Albert. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:43 | |
Because now...I'm Little Howard. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:47 | |
-Sorry, I'm confused. -We'd better get this straight. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
I was Little Albert, but now I'm stealing your identity | 0:08:50 | 0:08:55 | |
and everything you hold dear, so I am now... | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
FANFARE ..Little Howard! | 0:08:59 | 0:09:03 | |
So who am I, then? | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
You? Why, you're nobody! | 0:09:06 | 0:09:10 | |
-EVIL CACKLE -Little Albert! | 0:09:10 | 0:09:12 | |
-What about... -Little Howard! | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
These red herring salesmen! | 0:09:15 | 0:09:18 | |
Signs for red herrings are a complete waste of time. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
-Ah, Big Howard. We meet at last. -I saw you five minutes ago! | 0:09:21 | 0:09:26 | |
Of course. Seems like forever. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:30 | |
Aw... How was the monkey... | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
-Ooh, you look a bit different. -Do I? | 0:09:32 | 0:09:36 | |
-Yeah. Oh, is that your first nose? -You can't grow a nose, you idiot! | 0:09:36 | 0:09:42 | |
-Well, what's that, then? -It's just a spot with two holes in it. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:49 | |
OK. No. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:51 | |
-And your hair looks a bit... -Yes. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
I thought I'd try a new colour. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
Do you like it? It is the colour of the wolf! | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
Wolves are grey, aren't they? | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
Those are grey wolves. This is the colour of the red wolf. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:06 | |
-A red wolf? Are you all right, Little Howard? -Fine! | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
I'm definitely Little Howard. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
I wasn't suggesting that you weren't Little Howard. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:15 | |
Your voice sounds a bit funny. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
It's what happens if all you eat is pine cones. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
You should have eaten... Pine cones?! They're dangerous! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:24 | |
Oh. I won't have to eat pine cones any more. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:28 | |
-Big Howard! Help! -What was that? -It was nothing. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:32 | |
Probably just the cry of a feral boy raised in the forest by wolves | 0:10:32 | 0:10:36 | |
and driven mad with envy and rage. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:38 | |
Oh, you! Come in, let's go home. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:42 | |
Yes. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
Home! | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
Big Howard! | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
He-e-e-elp! | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
OK. Best behaviour now. My mum will be here any minute and... | 0:10:52 | 0:10:56 | |
I don't believe it! | 0:10:56 | 0:10:59 | |
"Stay away from Howard, you loopy old bat." | 0:10:59 | 0:11:04 | |
Right! | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
Hello, boys! Who wants a snooze? | 0:11:14 | 0:11:17 | |
So! ..No, thank you. | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
This is your surprise for my mum, is it? | 0:11:19 | 0:11:23 | |
-No, that's my surprise for the woman who thinks she's your mum! -Ah! | 0:11:23 | 0:11:28 | |
Little Howard's Big Question klaxon. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:32 | |
The woman who IS my mum will be here any moment. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
-So I don't want any major disasters. -KLAXON | 0:11:35 | 0:11:39 | |
Your klaxon! | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
Nothing bad happened to me! | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
This is fantastic! | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
BEEPING, FLUSHING AND CLATTERING | 0:11:47 | 0:11:51 | |
Ow!! | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
Mum! | 0:11:56 | 0:11:58 | |
Are you all right? Little Howard! | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
Oh, that wasn't Little Howard. I did that - on purpose! | 0:12:00 | 0:12:04 | |
Just dropped in to tell you that my plan is going exactly to...plan. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:15 | |
What does it feel like, trapped in the woods all on your own? | 0:12:15 | 0:12:19 | |
Gone insane with envy and rage yet? | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
No. I was just seeing what bark tasted like. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
All that saved me was the wolves. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
-Wolves?! -Yes. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
I was raised in these woods by wolves. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:34 | |
-In Purley? -Yes. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
-Very short red wolves. -Red wolves?! | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
-Did they have bushy tails? -Of course! | 0:12:39 | 0:12:43 | |
-Like I say, they were wolves. -Sounds like foxes. -Does it? | 0:12:43 | 0:12:47 | |
They said they were wolves. Can't trust any woodland creatures. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:51 | |
Those tiny, ginger nut-eating swine wolves! | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
They ate nuts? Now they sound like squirrels. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:58 | |
They were wolves! Ginger, vegetarian, tree-climbing wolves | 0:12:58 | 0:13:02 | |
with bushy tails. Got that? | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
Yes! I like how you've made these things out of bracken. Very clever. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:10 | |
What good has being clever done me? | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
You and your dolt friend have lived in the lap of luxury - | 0:13:13 | 0:13:17 | |
well, near the lap - | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
on the shins of luxury, and I've been stuck here. But not any more. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:24 | |
-Where are you going? -Why, | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
I'm going to pop off and finish erasing you from existence for ever! | 0:13:26 | 0:13:31 | |
EVIL LAUGH | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
I'm starting to think Little Albert doesn't like me. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
Must escape! | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
-Are you sure you're all right, Mum? -Stop fussing! I'm fine! | 0:13:40 | 0:13:45 | |
Takes more to worry me than a buffoonish practical joke | 0:13:45 | 0:13:50 | |
from a jumped-up toaster with airs! | 0:13:50 | 0:13:52 | |
What did you call me, you human woman? | 0:13:52 | 0:13:57 | |
If you two mums can't be nice to each other, there'll be... | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
no more knitting or cake-baking for a week! | 0:14:00 | 0:14:03 | |
-Oh, that is so unfair! -Unfair! -She started it! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:07 | |
You've brought it upon yourselves. Mum, I'd like a word with Mother. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:12 | |
Now you're for it! | 0:14:12 | 0:14:13 | |
-Shut up! -Make sure you take that brassy gadget down a peg or two! | 0:14:13 | 0:14:19 | |
Mother, is it possible that you're a bit jealous of my mum? | 0:14:23 | 0:14:28 | |
-Ha! Jealous?! Of that dappy old fish-wife? -Mother, | 0:14:28 | 0:14:32 | |
mum is my mum. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
But in a spurious, made-up, fictional in your own head way, | 0:14:35 | 0:14:40 | |
so are you. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:41 | |
-You're just saying that. -Well, | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
yes, I am, but I'm saying it in a very sincere way. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
That computer's got him wrapped round its little... | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
And how have you been, Little Howard? Still six? | 0:14:52 | 0:14:56 | |
Silence, serving woman! What is for feeding time? | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
Well, if you watch your lip, we're having your favourite. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:03 | |
Fajitas! | 0:15:03 | 0:15:04 | |
Ah, some kind of Spanish tree beetle. Ah! Dragonfly! | 0:15:04 | 0:15:08 | |
Hand me a spear! Where is my spear? | 0:15:08 | 0:15:11 | |
Come here, my beauty! | 0:15:11 | 0:15:12 | |
Mother, having my real... my other mum here, | 0:15:14 | 0:15:19 | |
doesn't mean I love you any less. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
Because I don't think that's possible. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:24 | |
Oh, Big Howard! | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
Try that on her circuit board! | 0:15:29 | 0:15:32 | |
That boy's behaving oddly, as well. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
-He is a cartoon, Mum. -No, but he's more different. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:40 | |
He has been acting up. He messed up my room and wrote on the wall | 0:15:40 | 0:15:44 | |
and says someone's eaten his porridge. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
-There's something funny about him. -He's not as funny as he used to be. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:52 | |
Of course, you weren't in the first series, were you? | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
I wonder why? | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
-Did I get it? -No. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
Curses! | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
I'm sure you're worrying about nothing, Mum! | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
It's no use! | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
I'll be trapped here for ever! | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
And Big Howard will never remember what the real me is... | 0:16:16 | 0:16:20 | |
Oh! | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
I must find Big Howard before it's too late! | 0:16:24 | 0:16:28 | |
There's a lot of branches on the ground, | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
so I must be careful not to fall over! | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
What?! | 0:16:37 | 0:16:38 | |
Help! | 0:16:38 | 0:16:39 | |
Blimey! I'm seeing double! | 0:16:39 | 0:16:42 | |
I must have banged my head on this...coleslaw! | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
-What's your name? -Hi, I'm Tilly. -What's your name? -Lotty. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:50 | |
-Have you been cloned by a mad scientist? -No, we're twins. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:55 | |
-You look exactly the same. Is it good being a twin? -Yeah. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:59 | |
Do you have any magical powers? | 0:16:59 | 0:17:02 | |
-Sometimes we think the same things. -Wow! We've got to test this. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:08 | |
Both say a number between one and ten at the same time | 0:17:08 | 0:17:11 | |
and we'll see if you say the same. One, two, three, go! | 0:17:11 | 0:17:14 | |
-BOTH TOGETHER: Seven. -Oh, spooky! | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
-One, two, three, go! -TOGETHER: Three. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:20 | |
If it happens one more time, you're psychic mind-readers. Go! | 0:17:20 | 0:17:24 | |
-Five. -Six. -Oh, close! Only one out. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
I think that nearly proves that twins are a little bit magic. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:33 | |
-Are either of you evil? -No. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
-Good. Does your twin ever try to eradicate you from existence? -No. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:41 | |
Good. Cos my kind of half twin does. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
I'll go and try to build a nice relationship with him like you. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:48 | |
-Thanks very much. Nice to meet you. Bye! -Bye! | 0:17:48 | 0:17:51 | |
Ow! No need for that! Flippin' frisbee-wielding evil twins! | 0:17:51 | 0:17:56 | |
I'm so glad you two mothers have patched things up. | 0:17:58 | 0:18:02 | |
I'll pop the kettle on, shall I? | 0:18:03 | 0:18:06 | |
I mean, you two have got so much in common. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
SCREAMING AND SHOUTING | 0:18:11 | 0:18:14 | |
Mum, are you still on decaf? | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
-You nasty piece of work! -I'll scratch your pixels out! | 0:18:16 | 0:18:21 | |
I'll take that as a no. Come on, that's enough. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:24 | |
-Break it up! -Let me at it! | 0:18:24 | 0:18:26 | |
Right. Mother is going in the shed. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:30 | |
And you, no more Alan Titchmarsh novels for a week! | 0:18:30 | 0:18:35 | |
Oh, that is so unfair! | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
Weirdos! Lovely dragonfly sandwich. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:47 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
You? | 0:18:52 | 0:18:53 | |
Those are my slippers! | 0:18:53 | 0:18:55 | |
There can be only one! | 0:18:55 | 0:18:58 | |
-Stop it, Little Albert. We're like twins. We should be friends. -Never! | 0:19:00 | 0:19:05 | |
-Purley isn't big enough for both of us! -It is! It's got three stations. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:10 | |
Just an overblown typewriter in a week! | 0:19:10 | 0:19:13 | |
Oh! | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
I knew it! | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
I knew you weren't yourself. You ate Little Howard's porridge! | 0:19:17 | 0:19:22 | |
What have you done to her? | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
I call this my walnut whip! | 0:19:29 | 0:19:33 | |
It whips walnuts at people at upwards of 100 miles an hour. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:37 | |
Now, get in the cupboard! | 0:19:37 | 0:19:39 | |
I'm sorry about Mother, Mum. I dropped a trifle on her once and... | 0:19:41 | 0:19:46 | |
Mum! | 0:19:46 | 0:19:47 | |
That was the unmistakeable sound of Big Howard slumping unconscious. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:56 | |
I'm the only one who can do that. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
I'd hoped to replace you seamlessly, Little Howard, | 0:19:58 | 0:20:02 | |
but now there are witnesses and that can never be. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:06 | |
My hand has been forced and now I must destroy you all! | 0:20:06 | 0:20:12 | |
I will have to summon my killer wolves of death! | 0:20:12 | 0:20:17 | |
No-o-o-o-o! | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
Oh, that is so annoying! | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
I can't stand it when that happens! | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
-# -Don't you hate it when they do that? | 0:20:30 | 0:20:32 | |
-# -Don't you hate it when they say, "To be continued"? | 0:20:32 | 0:20:36 | |
-# -I find it so rude | 0:20:36 | 0:20:37 | |
# Yes, I hate it when they do that | 0:20:37 | 0:20:41 | |
# Yes, I hate it when I find it's in two parts | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
# It breaks our hearts | 0:20:44 | 0:20:46 | |
-# -We both hate it when they do that | 0:20:46 | 0:20:49 | |
# It's so inconsiderate, the writer is an idiot | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
# Idiot, idiot! | 0:20:52 | 0:20:53 | |
-# -We both hate it when they do that | 0:20:53 | 0:20:56 | |
-# -Does that tell you that maybe we're both the same | 0:20:56 | 0:21:00 | |
-# -It's such a shame to fight | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
# Yes, I hate it when they do that | 0:21:02 | 0:21:05 | |
# But you'll never stop me stealing your name tonight | 0:21:05 | 0:21:09 | |
-# -We have so much in common and I think that you should summon up | 0:21:10 | 0:21:13 | |
-# -The common sense to tell yourself that we are both alike | 0:21:13 | 0:21:16 | |
# We're not alike, we're different An eagle and an elephant | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
# A genius and under-educated little tyke | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
# We are so not alike | 0:21:22 | 0:21:23 | |
# And if I had my way I would impale you on a spike | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
-# -If we both hate it when they do that | 0:21:26 | 0:21:30 | |
-# -Does that tell you maybe we should make amends | 0:21:30 | 0:21:33 | |
-# -Perhaps be friends? | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
# Yes, I hate it when they do that | 0:21:35 | 0:21:38 | |
# But I tell you that is where the likeness ends | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
# It will not mend my heart, it's just the start | 0:21:41 | 0:21:45 | |
# Wait till you see the second part | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
# Yes, I hate it when they do that | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
# That just tells me there's another cartoon boy | 0:21:50 | 0:21:55 | |
# I must destroy! # | 0:21:55 | 0:22:00 | |
Ha, ha, ha! | 0:22:00 | 0:22:01 | |
Come, my pretty wolves! Come and devour them! | 0:22:01 | 0:22:05 | |
I knew they were squirrels! | 0:22:08 | 0:22:10 |