Who's Been Eating My Porridge? Little Howard's Big Question
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
OK. | 0:00:01 | 0:00:02 | |
Run it past me just one more time. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
SIGHS | 0:00:05 | 0:00:06 | |
Right. Our computer, who is called Mother, | 0:00:06 | 0:00:10 | |
and who thinks she's my mother, isn't my mum. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:13 | |
The woman who's coming round this afternoon, | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
the one I call my mum, IS my actual mother. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:20 | |
Your mother isn't a computer? | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
How does that work, then? | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
All you need to know is you've got to be on your best behaviour. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:29 | |
What does computer mother think about it? | 0:00:29 | 0:00:32 | |
Mum and mother don't get on. They always try and out-mum each other. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:37 | |
-Is that why Mother's made us packed lunches all week? -Yeah. | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
-And darned the holes in our socks. -Language! -No darned means sewn up. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:45 | |
She's sewn up the holes in our socks. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:47 | |
So that's why I couldn't get my feet in! | 0:00:47 | 0:00:50 | |
Hello, Mother! We're back! | 0:00:53 | 0:00:56 | |
Hello, boys! Your porridge is cooling down, Howard. | 0:00:56 | 0:01:00 | |
Big Howard, yours is still in the pot. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
Hang on! Who's been sitting in my chair? | 0:01:02 | 0:01:06 | |
-I can clearly see two buttock marks in my cushion. -Howard, | 0:01:06 | 0:01:10 | |
no-one would break in to the house just to sit in your chair! | 0:01:10 | 0:01:15 | |
And there's no porridge in here! | 0:01:15 | 0:01:17 | |
-Someone has eaten it! -There's plenty more. I made eight gallons. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:23 | |
There's enough porridge here to swim in. Or submerge your head in. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:27 | |
KLAXON | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
I, Little Howard, have come up with one of my BIG questions. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:33 | |
Who has been eating my porridge? | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
I do wish you wouldn't... Ooh, needs some more nutmeg. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:44 | |
KLAXON | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
-# We love porridge -We love porridge | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
-# We love porridge -We love porridge | 0:01:48 | 0:01:49 | |
# Oh, that lovely-wubbly, lumpy-wumpy porridge | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
-# -Wumpy porridge | 0:01:52 | 0:01:53 | |
-# With its milk -With its milk | 0:01:53 | 0:01:54 | |
-# And its oats -And its oats | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
# I think that if we all ate porridge | 0:01:56 | 0:01:57 | |
# We'd have lovely glossy coats | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
-# Give us porridge -We love porridge | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
# Lots of porridge, you know that it's the porridge we adore | 0:02:01 | 0:02:05 | |
# If my love said that she did not love the porridge | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
# I wouldn't love her any more | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
# Thank you very much! # | 0:02:11 | 0:02:12 | |
GROWLING | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
Ooh, that reminds me of something. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:21 | |
I think it might have been a horror film I saw. Wait. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
Where are you going? Look at the mess! Today of all days! | 0:02:24 | 0:02:28 | |
Leave it to Mother, Muggins. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
Oh, that mad woman who thinks she's your mother called. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:34 | |
-That's my actual mother, Mother. -No. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
I am your mother. She is as potty as monkey poo...in a potty. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:42 | |
It's OK, everyone. Whoever ate my porridge is not sleeping in my bed. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:48 | |
-Worth checking. -What did my mum say? | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
The mad woman said she was coming round at midday. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:54 | |
-I put her straight. -My mum is coming round today. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:57 | |
I've told you that several times and Little Howard.... | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
-Why have you written Mulberry Bush on the wall in jam? -I didn't! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:05 | |
Ooh, didn't you find me under a mulberry bush, Big Howard? | 0:03:05 | 0:03:10 | |
I, er... Yes, but that is beside the point. If you didn't do it, | 0:03:10 | 0:03:14 | |
-who did? -We already know that someone broke in to eat my porridge | 0:03:14 | 0:03:19 | |
-and ransack your bedroom. -Be that as it may, | 0:03:19 | 0:03:23 | |
-I want it cleaned up immed... Ransack my what? -Oh, yes. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:27 | |
-I forgot - someone has ransacked your bedroom. -Why didn't you say? | 0:03:27 | 0:03:32 | |
-Aghhh! -That is hardly important now, Big Howard. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:36 | |
Mother, did you see who ate my porridge? | 0:03:36 | 0:03:40 | |
No. Sorry. I've been too busy being an excellent mother. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:44 | |
You're not jealous of Big Howard's mum, are you, Mother? | 0:03:44 | 0:03:48 | |
Jealous?! Me? Of that daft, lardy... lovely, dear woman | 0:03:48 | 0:03:54 | |
whom I respect and admire? | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
-Thank goodness my sketch pad is safe. -Your what? -Um, not important. | 0:03:56 | 0:04:01 | |
What are we going to have for tea with my mum tonight? | 0:04:01 | 0:04:04 | |
We've more porridge, if she doesn't mind eating it out of your hair. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:08 | |
Which she won't, if she's really your mum - which she isn't. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:13 | |
Oh, look at this! There's a parade of monkeys in the woods at 11.00am. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:19 | |
And a red herring sale. That's in half an hour. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
I'll just put this somewhere safe and maybe have a shower. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:27 | |
You two run along, then. | 0:04:27 | 0:04:29 | |
Don't worry. I've already prepared a special welcome for your "mum". | 0:04:29 | 0:04:34 | |
Big Howard, was that the mulberry bush you found me under? | 0:04:34 | 0:04:38 | |
-No, that's not a mulberry bush. -What about that one? | 0:04:38 | 0:04:42 | |
-Just think about the monkeys. -That one must be a mulberry bush. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:46 | |
What's this mulberry bush business? Is it about where you came from? | 0:04:46 | 0:04:51 | |
-Because it's time I explained... -Ooh, look! Monkey parade! | 0:04:51 | 0:04:57 | |
-I've never had pickled red herrings. Brilliant! -And I love monkeys! | 0:04:57 | 0:05:03 | |
How did they know? | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
Ooh. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:38 | |
I can't see any monkeys round here. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:43 | |
Hello? Monkeys? | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
Aghh! Trapped! | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
Like a mouse! | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
A plastic mouse! | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
Ah! | 0:05:57 | 0:05:58 | |
Little Howard, we meet at last. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:01 | |
Goodness gracious! | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
Here's an ad. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:06 | |
Come to Barry B.Nobo's World of Monkeys, | 0:06:06 | 0:06:09 | |
chimps, gorillas and maybe more! (May not contain monkeys.) | 0:06:09 | 0:06:13 | |
Ride the gorillas, have lunch made for you by an orangutan. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:17 | |
Race a silverback! It's the day out to end all days out. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:21 | |
Especially if you aren't a gorilla. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
Oh! I... You... I... | 0:06:27 | 0:06:30 | |
I've got a big question, Little Howard. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:33 | |
Why can't I be you? | 0:06:33 | 0:06:36 | |
SQUEAKING | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
-There's something wrong with your klaxon. -Shut up! | 0:06:39 | 0:06:43 | |
You're another cartoon boy. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
-You look... -Just like you, I know! | 0:06:45 | 0:06:49 | |
But this is brilliant. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
You are in a cage. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
Yes, I was going to mention that, | 0:06:53 | 0:06:56 | |
but I didn't want to spoil the moment. | 0:06:56 | 0:06:58 | |
Why am I in a cage? | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
Because now it's your turn. I've watched you all my life, | 0:07:00 | 0:07:04 | |
with home-made binoculars, hanging upside-down | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
from a tree in the rain with nostrils full of water. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
I have watched your house clinging to the underside of passing cars. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:15 | |
-Even after they fitted the speed bumps? -Yes. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
-They may calm traffic, but they make me angry! -You must be... | 0:07:18 | 0:07:22 | |
I've just worked it out. You've been eating my porridge! | 0:07:22 | 0:07:27 | |
That was porridge? I thought it was some sort of organic cement! | 0:07:27 | 0:07:31 | |
-I used it to shore up the walls in the games room. -Games room? | 0:07:31 | 0:07:36 | |
-This house is amazing. You're so lucky. -Lucky?! | 0:07:36 | 0:07:40 | |
I had to build it myself out of twigs, porridge and cuckoo spit. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:45 | |
Have you ever tried annoying a cuckoo so much it flobs at you? | 0:07:45 | 0:07:50 | |
-I must admit I haven't. -I'd rather have a proper house like you | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
and a TV show and a proper klaxon. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:56 | |
Mine's made of leaves and pine cones. | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
It sounds like a wasp doing a guff. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
SQUEAKING A lady wasp, at that! | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
You made a klaxon out of leaves and pine cones? That's very clever. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:09 | |
I wondered why I had nothing and you had everything. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:12 | |
Then I thought, "Why don't I take everything that is yours? | 0:08:12 | 0:08:16 | |
"Become you, take over your life and leave you to rot in the woods?" | 0:08:16 | 0:08:21 | |
-What?! -Little Howard! Where are you? | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
Ah, my future is calling me. Farewell! | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
-You'll never get away with this. -I think you'll find I will! | 0:08:26 | 0:08:30 | |
Or my name's not... | 0:08:30 | 0:08:32 | |
FANFARE ..Little Albert. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
Sorry, your name's not Little Albert? | 0:08:35 | 0:08:38 | |
No. My name is Little Albert. Or rather, it was Little Albert. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:43 | |
Because now...I'm Little Howard. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:47 | |
-Sorry, I'm confused. -We'd better get this straight. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
I was Little Albert, but now I'm stealing your identity | 0:08:50 | 0:08:55 | |
and everything you hold dear, so I am now... | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
FANFARE ..Little Howard! | 0:08:59 | 0:09:03 | |
So who am I, then? | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
You? Why, you're nobody! | 0:09:06 | 0:09:10 | |
-EVIL CACKLE -Little Albert! | 0:09:10 | 0:09:12 | |
-What about... -Little Howard! | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
These red herring salesmen! | 0:09:15 | 0:09:18 | |
Signs for red herrings are a complete waste of time. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
-Ah, Big Howard. We meet at last. -I saw you five minutes ago! | 0:09:21 | 0:09:26 | |
Of course. Seems like forever. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:30 | |
Aw... How was the monkey... | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
-Ooh, you look a bit different. -Do I? | 0:09:32 | 0:09:36 | |
-Yeah. Oh, is that your first nose? -You can't grow a nose, you idiot! | 0:09:36 | 0:09:42 | |
-Well, what's that, then? -It's just a spot with two holes in it. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:49 | |
OK. No. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:51 | |
-And your hair looks a bit... -Yes. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
I thought I'd try a new colour. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
Do you like it? It is the colour of the wolf! | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
Wolves are grey, aren't they? | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
Those are grey wolves. This is the colour of the red wolf. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:06 | |
-A red wolf? Are you all right, Little Howard? -Fine! | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
I'm definitely Little Howard. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
I wasn't suggesting that you weren't Little Howard. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:15 | |
Your voice sounds a bit funny. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
It's what happens if all you eat is pine cones. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
You should have eaten... Pine cones?! They're dangerous! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:24 | |
Oh. I won't have to eat pine cones any more. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:28 | |
-Big Howard! Help! -What was that? -It was nothing. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:32 | |
Probably just the cry of a feral boy raised in the forest by wolves | 0:10:32 | 0:10:36 | |
and driven mad with envy and rage. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:38 | |
Oh, you! Come in, let's go home. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:42 | |
Yes. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
Home! | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
Big Howard! | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
He-e-e-elp! | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
OK. Best behaviour now. My mum will be here any minute and... | 0:10:52 | 0:10:56 | |
I don't believe it! | 0:10:56 | 0:10:59 | |
"Stay away from Howard, you loopy old bat." | 0:10:59 | 0:11:04 | |
Right! | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
Hello, boys! Who wants a snooze? | 0:11:14 | 0:11:17 | |
So! ..No, thank you. | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
This is your surprise for my mum, is it? | 0:11:19 | 0:11:23 | |
-No, that's my surprise for the woman who thinks she's your mum! -Ah! | 0:11:23 | 0:11:28 | |
Little Howard's Big Question klaxon. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:32 | |
The woman who IS my mum will be here any moment. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
-So I don't want any major disasters. -KLAXON | 0:11:35 | 0:11:39 | |
Your klaxon! | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
Nothing bad happened to me! | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
This is fantastic! | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
BEEPING, FLUSHING AND CLATTERING | 0:11:47 | 0:11:51 | |
Ow!! | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
Mum! | 0:11:56 | 0:11:58 | |
Are you all right? Little Howard! | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
Oh, that wasn't Little Howard. I did that - on purpose! | 0:12:00 | 0:12:04 | |
Just dropped in to tell you that my plan is going exactly to...plan. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:15 | |
What does it feel like, trapped in the woods all on your own? | 0:12:15 | 0:12:19 | |
Gone insane with envy and rage yet? | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
No. I was just seeing what bark tasted like. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
All that saved me was the wolves. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
-Wolves?! -Yes. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
I was raised in these woods by wolves. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:34 | |
-In Purley? -Yes. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
-Very short red wolves. -Red wolves?! | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
-Did they have bushy tails? -Of course! | 0:12:39 | 0:12:43 | |
-Like I say, they were wolves. -Sounds like foxes. -Does it? | 0:12:43 | 0:12:47 | |
They said they were wolves. Can't trust any woodland creatures. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:51 | |
Those tiny, ginger nut-eating swine wolves! | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
They ate nuts? Now they sound like squirrels. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:58 | |
They were wolves! Ginger, vegetarian, tree-climbing wolves | 0:12:58 | 0:13:02 | |
with bushy tails. Got that? | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
Yes! I like how you've made these things out of bracken. Very clever. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:10 | |
What good has being clever done me? | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
You and your dolt friend have lived in the lap of luxury - | 0:13:13 | 0:13:17 | |
well, near the lap - | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
on the shins of luxury, and I've been stuck here. But not any more. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:24 | |
-Where are you going? -Why, | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
I'm going to pop off and finish erasing you from existence for ever! | 0:13:26 | 0:13:31 | |
EVIL LAUGH | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
I'm starting to think Little Albert doesn't like me. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
Must escape! | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
-Are you sure you're all right, Mum? -Stop fussing! I'm fine! | 0:13:40 | 0:13:45 | |
Takes more to worry me than a buffoonish practical joke | 0:13:45 | 0:13:50 | |
from a jumped-up toaster with airs! | 0:13:50 | 0:13:52 | |
What did you call me, you human woman? | 0:13:52 | 0:13:57 | |
If you two mums can't be nice to each other, there'll be... | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
no more knitting or cake-baking for a week! | 0:14:00 | 0:14:03 | |
-Oh, that is so unfair! -Unfair! -She started it! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:07 | |
You've brought it upon yourselves. Mum, I'd like a word with Mother. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:12 | |
Now you're for it! | 0:14:12 | 0:14:13 | |
-Shut up! -Make sure you take that brassy gadget down a peg or two! | 0:14:13 | 0:14:19 | |
Mother, is it possible that you're a bit jealous of my mum? | 0:14:23 | 0:14:28 | |
-Ha! Jealous?! Of that dappy old fish-wife? -Mother, | 0:14:28 | 0:14:32 | |
mum is my mum. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
But in a spurious, made-up, fictional in your own head way, | 0:14:35 | 0:14:40 | |
so are you. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:41 | |
-You're just saying that. -Well, | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
yes, I am, but I'm saying it in a very sincere way. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:47 | |
That computer's got him wrapped round its little... | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
And how have you been, Little Howard? Still six? | 0:14:52 | 0:14:56 | |
Silence, serving woman! What is for feeding time? | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
Well, if you watch your lip, we're having your favourite. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:03 | |
Fajitas! | 0:15:03 | 0:15:04 | |
Ah, some kind of Spanish tree beetle. Ah! Dragonfly! | 0:15:04 | 0:15:08 | |
Hand me a spear! Where is my spear? | 0:15:08 | 0:15:11 | |
Come here, my beauty! | 0:15:11 | 0:15:12 | |
Mother, having my real... my other mum here, | 0:15:14 | 0:15:19 | |
doesn't mean I love you any less. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
Because I don't think that's possible. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:24 | |
Oh, Big Howard! | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
Try that on her circuit board! | 0:15:29 | 0:15:32 | |
That boy's behaving oddly, as well. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
-He is a cartoon, Mum. -No, but he's more different. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:40 | |
He has been acting up. He messed up my room and wrote on the wall | 0:15:40 | 0:15:44 | |
and says someone's eaten his porridge. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
-There's something funny about him. -He's not as funny as he used to be. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:52 | |
Of course, you weren't in the first series, were you? | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
I wonder why? | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
-Did I get it? -No. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
Curses! | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
I'm sure you're worrying about nothing, Mum! | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
It's no use! | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
I'll be trapped here for ever! | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
And Big Howard will never remember what the real me is... | 0:16:16 | 0:16:20 | |
Oh! | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
I must find Big Howard before it's too late! | 0:16:24 | 0:16:28 | |
There's a lot of branches on the ground, | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
so I must be careful not to fall over! | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
What?! | 0:16:37 | 0:16:38 | |
Help! | 0:16:38 | 0:16:39 | |
Blimey! I'm seeing double! | 0:16:39 | 0:16:42 | |
I must have banged my head on this...coleslaw! | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
-What's your name? -Hi, I'm Tilly. -What's your name? -Lotty. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:50 | |
-Have you been cloned by a mad scientist? -No, we're twins. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:55 | |
-You look exactly the same. Is it good being a twin? -Yeah. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:59 | |
Do you have any magical powers? | 0:16:59 | 0:17:02 | |
-Sometimes we think the same things. -Wow! We've got to test this. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:08 | |
Both say a number between one and ten at the same time | 0:17:08 | 0:17:11 | |
and we'll see if you say the same. One, two, three, go! | 0:17:11 | 0:17:14 | |
-BOTH TOGETHER: Seven. -Oh, spooky! | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
-One, two, three, go! -TOGETHER: Three. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:20 | |
If it happens one more time, you're psychic mind-readers. Go! | 0:17:20 | 0:17:24 | |
-Five. -Six. -Oh, close! Only one out. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
I think that nearly proves that twins are a little bit magic. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:33 | |
-Are either of you evil? -No. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
-Good. Does your twin ever try to eradicate you from existence? -No. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:41 | |
Good. Cos my kind of half twin does. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
I'll go and try to build a nice relationship with him like you. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:48 | |
-Thanks very much. Nice to meet you. Bye! -Bye! | 0:17:48 | 0:17:51 | |
Ow! No need for that! Flippin' frisbee-wielding evil twins! | 0:17:51 | 0:17:56 | |
I'm so glad you two mothers have patched things up. | 0:17:58 | 0:18:02 | |
I'll pop the kettle on, shall I? | 0:18:03 | 0:18:06 | |
I mean, you two have got so much in common. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
SCREAMING AND SHOUTING | 0:18:11 | 0:18:14 | |
Mum, are you still on decaf? | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
-You nasty piece of work! -I'll scratch your pixels out! | 0:18:16 | 0:18:21 | |
I'll take that as a no. Come on, that's enough. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:24 | |
-Break it up! -Let me at it! | 0:18:24 | 0:18:26 | |
Right. Mother is going in the shed. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:30 | |
And you, no more Alan Titchmarsh novels for a week! | 0:18:30 | 0:18:35 | |
Oh, that is so unfair! | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
Weirdos! Lovely dragonfly sandwich. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:47 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
You? | 0:18:52 | 0:18:53 | |
Those are my slippers! | 0:18:53 | 0:18:55 | |
There can be only one! | 0:18:55 | 0:18:58 | |
-Stop it, Little Albert. We're like twins. We should be friends. -Never! | 0:19:00 | 0:19:05 | |
-Purley isn't big enough for both of us! -It is! It's got three stations. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:10 | |
Just an overblown typewriter in a week! | 0:19:10 | 0:19:13 | |
Oh! | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
I knew it! | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
I knew you weren't yourself. You ate Little Howard's porridge! | 0:19:17 | 0:19:22 | |
What have you done to her? | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
I call this my walnut whip! | 0:19:29 | 0:19:33 | |
It whips walnuts at people at upwards of 100 miles an hour. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:37 | |
Now, get in the cupboard! | 0:19:37 | 0:19:39 | |
I'm sorry about Mother, Mum. I dropped a trifle on her once and... | 0:19:41 | 0:19:46 | |
Mum! | 0:19:46 | 0:19:47 | |
That was the unmistakeable sound of Big Howard slumping unconscious. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:56 | |
I'm the only one who can do that. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
I'd hoped to replace you seamlessly, Little Howard, | 0:19:58 | 0:20:02 | |
but now there are witnesses and that can never be. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:06 | |
My hand has been forced and now I must destroy you all! | 0:20:06 | 0:20:12 | |
I will have to summon my killer wolves of death! | 0:20:12 | 0:20:17 | |
No-o-o-o-o! | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
Oh, that is so annoying! | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
I can't stand it when that happens! | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
-# -Don't you hate it when they do that? | 0:20:30 | 0:20:32 | |
-# -Don't you hate it when they say, "To be continued"? | 0:20:32 | 0:20:36 | |
-# -I find it so rude | 0:20:36 | 0:20:37 | |
# Yes, I hate it when they do that | 0:20:37 | 0:20:41 | |
# Yes, I hate it when I find it's in two parts | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
# It breaks our hearts | 0:20:44 | 0:20:46 | |
-# -We both hate it when they do that | 0:20:46 | 0:20:49 | |
# It's so inconsiderate, the writer is an idiot | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
# Idiot, idiot! | 0:20:52 | 0:20:53 | |
-# -We both hate it when they do that | 0:20:53 | 0:20:56 | |
-# -Does that tell you that maybe we're both the same | 0:20:56 | 0:21:00 | |
-# -It's such a shame to fight | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
# Yes, I hate it when they do that | 0:21:02 | 0:21:05 | |
# But you'll never stop me stealing your name tonight | 0:21:05 | 0:21:09 | |
-# -We have so much in common and I think that you should summon up | 0:21:10 | 0:21:13 | |
-# -The common sense to tell yourself that we are both alike | 0:21:13 | 0:21:16 | |
# We're not alike, we're different An eagle and an elephant | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
# A genius and under-educated little tyke | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
# We are so not alike | 0:21:22 | 0:21:23 | |
# And if I had my way I would impale you on a spike | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
-# -If we both hate it when they do that | 0:21:26 | 0:21:30 | |
-# -Does that tell you maybe we should make amends | 0:21:30 | 0:21:33 | |
-# -Perhaps be friends? | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
# Yes, I hate it when they do that | 0:21:35 | 0:21:38 | |
# But I tell you that is where the likeness ends | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
# It will not mend my heart, it's just the start | 0:21:41 | 0:21:45 | |
# Wait till you see the second part | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
# Yes, I hate it when they do that | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
# That just tells me there's another cartoon boy | 0:21:50 | 0:21:55 | |
# I must destroy! # | 0:21:55 | 0:22:00 | |
Ha, ha, ha! | 0:22:00 | 0:22:01 | |
Come, my pretty wolves! Come and devour them! | 0:22:01 | 0:22:05 | |
I knew they were squirrels! | 0:22:08 | 0:22:10 |
