Browse content similar to Why Can't I Be You?. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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Previously - Big Howard's actual mum comes to visit | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
and Mother welcomes her with open arms. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:07 | |
Little Howard's porridge gets stolen, | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
but Big Howard's sketch pad remains safe. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
I shouldn't be surprised if that turns out to be significant. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
And Little Howard gets captured and replaced | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
by his evil twin Little Albert, who really is quite nasty. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
Come my pretty ones, come and devour them! | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
How come you missed that?! It's been on iPlayer all week. Lazy! | 0:00:24 | 0:00:28 | |
# I hate monkeys, I hate monkeys | 0:00:29 | 0:00:33 | |
# All those horrid little, squeaky, little monkeys | 0:00:33 | 0:00:36 | |
# With their tails and their bananas | 0:00:36 | 0:00:40 | |
# I think that if we all were monkeys I would move to the Bahamas | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
# Keep your monkeys, all your monkeys | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
# For you know that it's the monkeys I despise | 0:00:45 | 0:00:49 | |
# If my love said that she did not hate those monkeys | 0:00:49 | 0:00:53 | |
# I'd say that wasn't very wise. # | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
Thank you, thank you! | 0:00:55 | 0:00:57 | |
I'll be here...forever! Ah-hah ah hahahahahaaaaa! | 0:00:57 | 0:01:00 | |
Little Howard, could we do that again, but a little less evil? | 0:01:00 | 0:01:04 | |
-Just trying something different. -Well, one of the monkeys is crying. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:08 | |
Good! Stupid monkeys. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
Come, my...animals that I'm not entirely convinced yet are squirrels. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:17 | |
The hour of the nibbling is upon us! | 0:01:17 | 0:01:19 | |
-Big Howard, wake up! -Ya! | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
Aaaaaooooch. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
Little Howard! How many times have I told you | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
not to knock me or my mum out by firing walnuts at our heads? | 0:01:29 | 0:01:33 | |
-Erm... -Actually, come to think of it I may not have told you that, | 0:01:33 | 0:01:37 | |
but that doesn't make it right. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:38 | |
So you still think I'm Little Howard? | 0:01:38 | 0:01:42 | |
Of course! Knocking me out with a walnut is typical Little Howard. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:47 | |
Then I may not have to destroy you. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
I should think not. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
Look what you've done to my mum! | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
-What's going on! Where is he? -Who? | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
There were two Little Howards! | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
You saw two Little Howards? | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
-OK, the destroying's back on. -There's only one explanation for this. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:05 | |
-Yes! That one is an impos... -Mother! | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
-What have you been up to? -What?! I didn't do nuffink! | 0:02:10 | 0:02:14 | |
Have you been projecting holographic images of Little Howard | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
-to make my mum think she's losing her marbles? -OMG squared! | 0:02:17 | 0:02:20 | |
It's a good idea, but no. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
You wicked, vindictive abacus with no knickers! | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
I have never been... | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
-You deserve that! -You come here... -Shut up! | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
You've pushed her too far. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
Seriously, this is the last straw. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:36 | |
Escaped from my Beginner's Cage, did you? Now I will imprison you | 0:02:40 | 0:02:45 | |
in my...Intermediate Cage! | 0:02:45 | 0:02:50 | |
From which there is no escape, | 0:02:50 | 0:02:53 | |
unless you are an expert at escape. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
What have you done to Big Howard? | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
Nothing. Luckily for him, he's even stupider than I thought. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
I knew that would come in handy one day. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
But the female suspects, so I must become you completely. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:10 | |
I must look like you, talk like you, | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
smell like you, heaven help me, act exactly like you, | 0:03:12 | 0:03:15 | |
but how? | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
Ah, well that's the big question, isn't it? | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
But I'm not going to give you any advi... | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
Big Question! Of course! | 0:03:22 | 0:03:24 | |
Oh, bum. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
-I'm telling you, there were two of them! -Course there were, Mum. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:31 | |
You have a nice lie down now. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:34 | |
Mother, why did you try to make Mum think there were two Little Howards? | 0:03:36 | 0:03:40 | |
I didn't! I don't know what you're talking about! This is so unfair! | 0:03:40 | 0:03:44 | |
KLAXON | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
Why don't you just admit you're jealous? | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
-I, Little Howard... -Me?! Jealous?! -Excuse me! How can I | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
-become someone else? -Of Mrs Perfect Pants, | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
with her three-dimensional face, and central nervous system?! | 0:03:53 | 0:03:57 | |
-For goodness' sakes! -She thinks she's all that, but she's not! | 0:03:57 | 0:04:00 | |
KLAXON Shut up! | 0:04:00 | 0:04:04 | |
Thank you. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:05 | |
I have set off my klaxon and asked a Big Question, | 0:04:05 | 0:04:09 | |
and I demand you have a hilarious accident and answer it. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:13 | |
You did, didn't you? You set off that klaxon, | 0:04:13 | 0:04:17 | |
and nothing happened to me, just like last time. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
Oh dear, should I try again? | 0:04:20 | 0:04:22 | |
No, no. I must be becoming immune to it after all this time. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:26 | |
This is fantastic! | 0:04:26 | 0:04:27 | |
I am going to save so much money on clothes and structural repairs. | 0:04:27 | 0:04:32 | |
What was your Big Question again? | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
-How can I become someone else? -That's a lovely Big Question. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:37 | |
-Much better than the questions you normally ask. -Oh! | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
You like it, do you? | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
Yeah. I'm so happy! | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
-Why do you want to become someone else? -I want to imitate someone | 0:04:45 | 0:04:48 | |
exactly, so that even their closest friend couldn't tell the difference. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:54 | |
Oooh, that DOES sound fun. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
Yes, and I know just the man to help you. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:59 | |
Thank you to James Hurn. One to watch there, ladies and gentlemen. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:04 | |
Ooooh, people! He-he he-he. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:11 | |
Hi, I'm James Hurn, I'm an impressionist. I was expecting | 0:05:11 | 0:05:15 | |
you to misunderstand the word "impressionist", Little Howard. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:19 | |
Why would I do that? I'm not an idiot. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
He's not an idiot. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:24 | |
So, you're a 19th-century French painter, then? | 0:05:24 | 0:05:27 | |
Er, no, I'm not a 19th-century French painter. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:31 | |
My type of impressionist | 0:05:31 | 0:05:32 | |
is someone who copies other people's voices and their mannerisms. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:37 | |
I want to know how I can become someone else. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
Er, well it's fairly easy, what I do is I listen to CDs and watch DVDs, | 0:05:41 | 0:05:45 | |
to be able to copy somebody. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
One of my favourites is Professor Snape from Harry Potter. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:51 | |
-IMITATING SNAPE: -Might talk a little bit like this, | 0:05:51 | 0:05:54 | |
right at the back of the throat. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:55 | |
One of my other favourites is Woody from Toy Story. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
-IMITATING WOODY: -First, you've got to get the American accent, | 0:05:58 | 0:06:01 | |
it's kinda like a bit like that and his voice is sort of | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
in the centre of his mouth and he puts his chin down again, you know. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:08 | |
And you gotta watch out for the things that maybe he does, | 0:06:08 | 0:06:11 | |
like, he-he, you know, he'll throw in a laugh | 0:06:11 | 0:06:14 | |
halfway through a sentence there | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
and he could be talking about anything, but remember to use those | 0:06:16 | 0:06:19 | |
favourite phrases if you want to get it right. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
"What are you talking about, Buzz? We're just a bunch of toys." | 0:06:21 | 0:06:25 | |
How would you, say, do an impression of...er... | 0:06:25 | 0:06:29 | |
Little Howard? | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
-You, you mean? -Yes, but not how I'm talking now. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
-How I usually talk. -He swallowed a pine cone. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:37 | |
I did that once when I was trying to do my Bill Oddie impression. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:41 | |
It's very painful. Anyway... | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
-IMITATING LITTLE HOWARD: -If I was going to do | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
a Little Howard impression, I would maybe realise that maybe he talks | 0:06:45 | 0:06:49 | |
out of the side of his mouth sometimes and he's a bit croaky. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:52 | |
That's amazing! It's like he's here in the room with us. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:57 | |
I mean, it's like... I'M here...in the room with us. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:03 | |
Which I am, of course. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
Can you teach anyone to do that? | 0:07:05 | 0:07:06 | |
Well, yeah, of course. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
Why don't you two have a go? | 0:07:08 | 0:07:10 | |
-No, I won't, I don't really do voices. -Come on, it'll be fun. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:13 | |
Erm, er, er, OK... | 0:07:13 | 0:07:17 | |
No. Erm... | 0:07:17 | 0:07:18 | |
-IMITATING LITTLE HOWARD: -I have come up with another Big Question! | 0:07:18 | 0:07:22 | |
Why doesn't Big Howard get paid more? | 0:07:22 | 0:07:26 | |
Yeah, thanks, mate. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:27 | |
Hmm. I'm supposed to be the professional. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:31 | |
Hmm, er, beginner's luck. Just...got lucky. Sorry. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:35 | |
Yeah. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:36 | |
Help, help! How am I going to get out? | 0:07:39 | 0:07:44 | |
How's your big, fat, stupid head? | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
Are you still hallucinating like a mad woman? | 0:07:53 | 0:07:56 | |
I am the president of the Association of Rehousing Delinquent Baby Seals, | 0:07:56 | 0:08:02 | |
I'll have you know! | 0:08:02 | 0:08:03 | |
Do you think I'd be able to hold that position if I hallucinated? | 0:08:03 | 0:08:07 | |
You probably thought you were rehousing baby seals, but you | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
were just lugging damp sand bags up and down the beach. Ha! Got you! | 0:08:10 | 0:08:14 | |
Do you do any charity work? | 0:08:14 | 0:08:16 | |
Erm... Yes! I run a help... line for... | 0:08:16 | 0:08:22 | |
cartoon boys! Called, er, the Cartoon Boy Helpline. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:26 | |
You haven't had many calls today, have you? | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
Ah, no, well... Office hours are only just starting. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:35 | |
So...any minute now. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
Little Albert's homemade phone! | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
I wonder if it works? | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
It can't do. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:45 | |
Can it? | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
Don't think anybody saw that. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:53 | |
-DIAL TONE -Wow! It works! | 0:08:53 | 0:08:57 | |
-No calls yet, then? -Well, obviously it's seasonal. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:03 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:09:03 | 0:09:04 | |
Ha! In your face, woman-features! | 0:09:04 | 0:09:07 | |
Hello, love, this is, erm... | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
the Cartoon Boy Helpline. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
How can I help? | 0:09:15 | 0:09:16 | |
-Oh, I think I've got the wrong number. -No, you haven't, | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
Little...erm, stranger, | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
poor, desperate little stranger who needs my help. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
Well, now you mention it, I am a bit worried about my friend. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:29 | |
Your "friend", eh? Sure it's not you? | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
No, but he wants to be me. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:34 | |
'Oh, that's called...' | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
Oh, one second. Excuse me, this is a confidential helpline. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:41 | |
I'm sorry about that. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
What you're dealing with there is jealousy. Everyone gets it. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:48 | |
Nothing to worry about. Thanks for your call, chin up. Bye! | 0:09:48 | 0:09:51 | |
No, wait a minute. I don't understand WHY he's jealous of me. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
He's much cleverer than I am. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
He's got a nose and he can make stuff. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
He made the phone I'm talking on out of acorns... | 0:09:59 | 0:10:03 | |
and I think bits of badger dung. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
-Charming! -And he lives up a tree. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
I'd love to live up a tree. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
That's the trouble with jealousy. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
It stops you seeing the good things in your own life. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
So it can not only hurt the person you feel jealous of, | 0:10:14 | 0:10:18 | |
but it can hurt yourself as well. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
It makes you sad and you can end up being nasty | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
-and saying horrible things to other people. -I see. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
You certainly know a lot about it. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
Have you ever been jealous of anyone? | 0:10:29 | 0:10:31 | |
No! Never! | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
SQUEAK! | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
METALLIC CLANG | 0:10:49 | 0:10:50 | |
SHRIEKS | 0:11:03 | 0:11:06 | |
But the person who's jealous of me has locked me in his tree house | 0:11:06 | 0:11:10 | |
and is trying to take over my life. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
My goodness! | 0:11:12 | 0:11:13 | |
-Mother! -I'm on the phone! | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
This is important. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:16 | |
-DIAL TONE -Have you seen my top secre... | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
my sketch pad? | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
-It's in the washing machine. -Oh, thank goo... What?! | 0:11:21 | 0:11:24 | |
Well, it was filthy. Covered in scribbles. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
Now, where was I? | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
Oh, you haven't turned it on, thank goodness. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
I was looking up the washing instructions | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
for a top-secret sketch pad online. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:37 | |
What temperature would YOU wash it at? | 0:11:37 | 0:11:39 | |
I wouldn't wash it at all! It's a sketch pad! | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
This sketch pad happens to be quite important. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
-Where did you find it? -It was in your safe. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:48 | |
How did you get into my locked safe? | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
-I can do a lot of things you don't know about, young man! -Like what? | 0:11:50 | 0:11:53 | |
Big Howard's sketch pad. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:56 | |
Memories are starting to come back to me. | 0:11:56 | 0:12:00 | |
A stormy night, | 0:12:01 | 0:12:04 | |
the deafening sound of crashing thunder and scribbling pencil. | 0:12:04 | 0:12:08 | |
That sketch pad has something to do with my creation! | 0:12:08 | 0:12:13 | |
That's why he keeps it locked in the safe. I must see that sketch pad! | 0:12:14 | 0:12:18 | |
-But first... -I have climbed Mount Etna! | 0:12:21 | 0:12:24 | |
Have you, though? | 0:12:24 | 0:12:27 | |
Yes, I'd like a large meat-feast pizza, please, | 0:12:27 | 0:12:30 | |
definitely hold the acorns, pinecones and conkers. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:33 | |
I was just having a look at your phone. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:36 | |
"I was just having a look at your phone." | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
-I didn't call anyone on it, honest. -"I didn't call anyone on it, honest." | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
-Why are you copying me? -"Why are you copying me?" | 0:12:42 | 0:12:46 | |
-Stop it! -"Stop it!" | 0:12:46 | 0:12:47 | |
-I smell of monkey poo. -"I smell of monkey poo." | 0:12:47 | 0:12:49 | |
Hey! You're doing an impression of me! | 0:12:49 | 0:12:52 | |
That's almost good enough to fool me! | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
Exactly! My assimilation is complete. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:58 | |
Soon I will have no need for you at all. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:01 | |
Now! What do you know of Big Howard's sketch pad? | 0:13:01 | 0:13:05 | |
Nothing, I'm not allowed to look at it. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:08 | |
And you've never wondered why that might be? | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
-He's probably drawing pictures of girls in it or something. -Since I've | 0:13:10 | 0:13:14 | |
been living your life I've started to see who is responsible for my misery. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:20 | |
Who brought me and you into this world. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:24 | |
Haven't you ever wondered where you came from? | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
No. I was found under a mulberry bush. Big Howard told me. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:30 | |
You and I came from the same place. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:33 | |
The same mulberry bush? | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
It wasn't a mulberry bush. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:37 | |
A bilberry bush? | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
You were created, Little Howard! | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
GASPS | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
And so was I. I don't know how, but it has something to do with | 0:13:43 | 0:13:47 | |
your Big Howard and his top-secret sketch pad. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:52 | |
If I can just get hold of that sketch pad, | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
then perhaps the power of creation will be mine. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
Imagine, I could create an army of actual wolves! With fangs! | 0:13:57 | 0:14:01 | |
Who don't eat all your walnuts! | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
I shall strike tonight! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
Stop, Little Albert! You need help! | 0:14:07 | 0:14:10 | |
However is Little Howard going to escape? Who is going to rescue him? | 0:14:11 | 0:14:14 | |
Find out after this ad. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:16 | |
GRUFF, SINISTER VOICE: Buy the new fully portable sound-effect machine | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
to bring the suspense back into your life. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:26 | |
SINISTER ORGAN CHORDS | 0:14:26 | 0:14:29 | |
Perfect for life's more dramatic moments. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
SINISTER ORGAN CHORDS REPEATING | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
Erm...could you, yeah, could you just stop it, could you? | 0:14:34 | 0:14:38 | |
Stop, please. Thank you. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:39 | |
CLATTERING AND SMASHING | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
Mother! Mum! What are you doing here? | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
Together? | 0:14:50 | 0:14:52 | |
When I remembered what you said, | 0:14:52 | 0:14:54 | |
I traced the call and discovered you were in these woods. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:58 | |
Then I realised I didn't have a lot of experience | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
in hostage rescue situations. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
-And Big Howard's mum does? -Oh, yes. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:07 | |
I do a lot knitting for the SAS. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:09 | |
All the balaclavas and the bazooka-cosies, they're all mine. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:14 | |
And as a thankyou, they let me attend their hostage rescue course. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:18 | |
-That was implausibly lucky, wasn't it? -I'll say! | 0:15:18 | 0:15:21 | |
There we go! | 0:15:23 | 0:15:24 | |
ALARM | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
Oh, no! Booby trap! But it's caught me as well as this booby! | 0:15:26 | 0:15:31 | |
-Shut it, you! -Oh, no! | 0:15:31 | 0:15:33 | |
That's Little Albert's Expert Cage! | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
You'll never get out! | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
-Where is the little tyke? -He's gone to our house. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
Does Big Howard know he's not me? | 0:15:41 | 0:15:43 | |
No! Go and help him. | 0:15:43 | 0:15:44 | |
Don't you worry about us. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
Clumsy. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
What are you doing? | 0:16:09 | 0:16:10 | |
What are YOU doing, more like? | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
-Or rather, what have you been drawing? -Oh...those... | 0:16:12 | 0:16:16 | |
those are just doodles... | 0:16:16 | 0:16:18 | |
KLAXON | 0:16:18 | 0:16:19 | |
I, Little Howard, have come up with another Big Question. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:22 | |
Where did I come from, Big Howard? | 0:16:22 | 0:16:25 | |
I found you under a mulberry bush, like I've always said. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:27 | |
Did you only find one cartoon boy under the mulberry bush? | 0:16:27 | 0:16:31 | |
Why do you ask that? | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
Because there are two of us. | 0:16:33 | 0:16:38 | |
Aaaaaaaaaaargh! | 0:16:38 | 0:16:41 | |
He is an impostor! I am Little Howard! | 0:16:46 | 0:16:48 | |
IMITATING HIM PERFECTLY: He trapped me in a tree house. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
-He's Little Albert! -YOU'RE Little Albert! | 0:16:51 | 0:16:54 | |
Little Albert? | 0:16:54 | 0:16:56 | |
-No! No, it can't be! -You know about him? | 0:16:56 | 0:17:00 | |
I'm not him! You are! | 0:17:00 | 0:17:02 | |
Before I drew you, I drew Little Albert. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:07 | |
He came to life, jumped off the page and ran off into the woods. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:10 | |
You created him? | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
-And me? -I knew it! | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
-I tried to chase him, but he was too quick, he was like a... -Wolf. | 0:17:15 | 0:17:19 | |
No, it was smaller and more agile than a wolf with a twitchier nose. | 0:17:19 | 0:17:23 | |
-A squirrel? -Shut up! | 0:17:23 | 0:17:26 | |
I guess I've been looking for him ever since, | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
but I gave up any hope of finding you or him, long ago. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:35 | |
When I finally gave up looking for Little Albert, | 0:17:35 | 0:17:37 | |
I went back to the drawing board to try and make it happen again. | 0:17:37 | 0:17:41 | |
I tried for weeks, but they just stayed pictures on the page, | 0:17:41 | 0:17:44 | |
but then, one stormy night, it happened, and it was you... | 0:17:44 | 0:17:49 | |
or you... | 0:17:49 | 0:17:50 | |
but you didn't run away. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:52 | |
You just started asking lots of annoying questions. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:55 | |
Oh, Little Albert. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
-I don't know why you're looking at me. I'm Little Howard. -Aah! | 0:17:59 | 0:18:03 | |
Takes one to know one! | 0:18:03 | 0:18:05 | |
-You must be Little Albert! -Am not! | 0:18:05 | 0:18:07 | |
Are too! | 0:18:07 | 0:18:08 | |
THEY SHOUT | 0:18:08 | 0:18:11 | |
Stop fighting, Little Howard...or Little Albert, whichever you are. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:20 | |
Ha! You have no way of telling which is which, though! | 0:18:20 | 0:18:24 | |
Wait a minute - maybe I do. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:28 | |
How can you tell which is the real Little Howard? | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
I didn't quite hear that. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
He said how can you tell which is the real Little Howard? | 0:18:33 | 0:18:36 | |
No. That question's not really having enough impact. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:40 | |
How can you tell which is the real Little Howard? | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
-No, just not getting my attention. -Oh, for goodness' sake! | 0:18:43 | 0:18:48 | |
I, Little Howard, have come up with another Big Question! | 0:18:48 | 0:18:53 | |
How can you tell which is the real Little Howard? | 0:18:53 | 0:18:56 | |
Oops. This isn't going to help my chances. | 0:18:56 | 0:19:01 | |
You are the real... | 0:19:01 | 0:19:03 | |
You are the real Little Howard and that one is the impostor. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:07 | |
Blimey! I wish you could answer all my Big Questions that quickly. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:10 | |
How did you know? | 0:19:10 | 0:19:12 | |
Your klaxon went off twice earlier and nothing bad happened to me. | 0:19:12 | 0:19:15 | |
At first I thought it was brilliant. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
But I worked out it's because it wasn't really you, Little Howard. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:21 | |
Wow! That's really clever, Big Howard. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:23 | |
Wait a minute. Are you sure YOU'RE the real Big Howard? | 0:19:23 | 0:19:29 | |
We better get Little Albert out. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:31 | |
-Little Albert! -I'm sorry I couldn't catch you that day, Little Albert, | 0:19:32 | 0:19:36 | |
but we can make up for it now. You can come and live with us. | 0:19:36 | 0:19:39 | |
Never! There can be only one! | 0:19:39 | 0:19:42 | |
-That's rubbish! -Don't go! | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
Everyone gets jealous some times. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
You just have to learn to get over it | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
and find things about yourself that you like. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:51 | |
Like I said, Purley isn't big enough for the both of us! | 0:19:51 | 0:19:55 | |
You could always live in Croydon. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
EERIE ORGAN MUSIC | 0:19:58 | 0:20:02 | |
# I'll get you next time, my friend! | 0:20:05 | 0:20:08 | |
# Though I've been vexed this is not the end | 0:20:08 | 0:20:11 | |
# You've won the battle but not the war | 0:20:11 | 0:20:14 | |
# I'll lick my wounds and come back for more | 0:20:14 | 0:20:18 | |
# Oh, why can't we just be friends? | 0:20:18 | 0:20:21 | |
# This doesn't have to be how it ends | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
# You were so jealous and I of you | 0:20:24 | 0:20:27 | |
# But think together what we could do | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
# I'll leap towards you from tree to tree | 0:20:30 | 0:20:34 | |
# I'll take your bird seed then off I'll flee | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
# I'll chew your wiring and bury your nuts | 0:20:37 | 0:20:41 | |
# I'll leap to safety as your trap shuts | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
# I'll scratch you car roof with all my might | 0:20:44 | 0:20:47 | |
# There's no defence from the squirrel of the night! | 0:20:47 | 0:20:52 | |
# Oh, why can't we patch things up | 0:20:57 | 0:21:00 | |
# And live a lifetime of catching up? | 0:21:00 | 0:21:04 | |
# You were so jealous and I of you | 0:21:04 | 0:21:07 | |
# But won't you let us just start anew? | 0:21:07 | 0:21:10 | |
# I'll get you next time, my boy | 0:21:10 | 0:21:14 | |
# Though I'm perplexed I will soon destroy | 0:21:14 | 0:21:17 | |
# Though I am down, I am far from out | 0:21:17 | 0:21:20 | |
# I'll give you something to cry about | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
# I'm you but I'm feral I'll strike like a squirrel | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
# The squirrel of the night! | 0:21:26 | 0:21:29 | |
# And you will loose that fight! | 0:21:29 | 0:21:33 | |
# The squirrel of the night! # | 0:21:33 | 0:21:38 | |
CACKLES | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
Definitely squirrels. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:44 | |
-MOTHER: -Budge over! You're taking up too much of the cage. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:48 | |
BIG HOWARD'S MUM: What are you implying? | 0:21:48 | 0:21:51 | |
I'm not implying anything, I'm saying it out loud! | 0:21:51 | 0:21:54 | |
You are a heifer! | 0:21:54 | 0:21:55 |